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"We can't all have a crush on the same girl."
Silence fell in the dorm at Peter's frustrated exclamation as the four friends stared around at one another. James had snuck a bottle of firewhiskey into the dorm room and the teenagers were getting properly tipsy for the first time ever. And of course with that came sharing secrets.
"Well, I liked her first." James said furiously. "I mean since like year one I've been going on about how amazing Lily is."
"It's a bit creepy, honestly." Sirius said from where he was lying on the floor, twirling a lock of his jet hair. "Like give it a rest. She hates it anyways. I think she's far more charmed by me."
Remus snorted and leaned back. "You manage to creep her out in your own unique way, Padfoot, she told me so."
"What?!" Sirius was sitting bolt upright, staring at Remus. "Moony, that's not fair."
Remus shrugged lightly. "Honestly out of the four of us I definitely have the best shot. I'm not a creep."
"You do turn into a wolf though." Peter said casually. "I don't think girls like hairy guys."
"Depends on the girl." James said, rubbing his own chest with a bright grin.
The boys lapsed into silence again as their predicament truly sank in. They all had a crush on Lily Evans. That definitely broke bro-code. How exactly were they supposed to flirt their little Year 5 hearts out and keep bro-code? It was the largest calamity the Marauders had ever faced. Besides the werewolf thing. What had been a fun evening now turned into the four of them looking each other up and down and trying to decide just who would have the honor, the privilege, the crowning glory, of dating Lily Evans.
"I mean its got to be Moony, right?" Sirius finally snapped in exasperation as he reached to take a swig out of the firewhiskey bottle before flopping onto his back on the carpet. "Even though Lily and I would make the world's cutest babies, for the record."
"I'm sure your parents would love that." Remus shot back. "Half blood and ginger."
"But why Remus?" Peter argued. "How come he gets first shot? Lily and I have chess club together. We talk all the time. I get first dibs."
"What? No way!" James threw up his arms in dismay. "Have I not said I had a crush since Year 1! I get dibs."
"Dunno if you can call dibs on a girl." Remus mumbled into his drink.
He was promptly ignored.
"Moony can treat her right though." Sirius argued "I mean who is more caring than our Moony? He's charming and handsome as well. Lily would be hard pressed to find anyone close to Remus. He's like...Boyfriend material."
James and Peter stared at Sirius, who sighed wistfully and continued twirling his hair, and then looked over at Remus.
"Wow, he's Gryffindor red." James whistled. "That's the most school spirit I've ever seen on you, Moonbeam."
"It's just-" Remus looked over at Sirius and then pressed a hand over his face. "I'm not boyfriend material, Padfoot!"
Sirius snorted and rolled over onto his stomach and scooted closer to Remus so he could jab at his knee hard. "Shut it, Messer Moony. You are. First off you're easily the most handsome of the marauders. Oh I know I'm the prettiest, sure, but you've got those hands and-"
"What about my hands?" Remus' voice went up an octave.
"They are big and deft." Sirius supplied easily. "Like I could watch you do your wandwork for ages. I'm sure it leaves the girls in our year drooling."
"Merlin" James whispered softly.
"What is happening right now?" Peter whispered sideways to James as they both watched their two best friends in awe. Remus was sitting crosslegged holding his drink for dear life and gazing down at Sirius in shocked awe. Sirius was kicking his feet up behind his head and now his thumb was no longer poking Remus' knee but caressing it gently as he gazed up at Remus from his stomach position.
"Looks a bit like Padfoot when he submits to Moony during the full." James mused, still using a hushed tone.
"Yeah I'll say." Peter swigged at his drink.
"And okay fine, you're in denial that you're hot." Sirius snorted in derision. "But even without all the hotness its also just you, Moonshine. I mean you're always so kind and attentive to everyone who speaks to you. You actually listen and care. Then you're brilliant to top it off, you always say the right things. You're fun to be around, witty as all get out, and you're just...Of course everyone wants to linger in your presence. Like people want to crawl up into your jumpers and live against your chest. Its not just me, its half the school."
"Not just you?" Remus said, his eyes going wide. "So you-"
"Merlin's saggiest of saggy balls, Moony!" Sirius sat upright in frustration "Yes! We all think like this, right guys?"
Sirius swiveled his head over to James and Peter who sat close together watching the exchange with rapt attention. James had his chin resting on Peter's shoulder and clutched a hand over his own chest.
"Honestly that was beautiful, Padfoot. I've never seen a better love confession in all my days."
"And for the record" Peter butted in "I agree with most of what you said about Rem but I definitely don't want to live against his skin like some enamored creep. That's for sure just you, Padfoot. But it was fun to watch a poof get his feathers in real time."
Sirius blinked in surprise and glanced between his two friends and then back over at Remus. Remus was still blushing but no longer hiding his face. Instead he had that intensely focused look he got sometimes. The one that always made Sirius' insides go a little bit gooey. He was using that look on Sirius right now and Sirius had no idea what he was thinking. Then he lifted his arm out to the side, such a normal gesture, and Sirius acted on instinct. He moved to curl himself up against Remus' side and his friend hugged him tight like normal. The kiss on the top of his head was a little bit more than normal though.
"Thanks." Remus said quietly. "You're good to me, Pads."
"Boyfriend material?" Sirius quipped lightly, trying to ignore the strange swirling in his head. Trying to make all of this a joke.
Remus' rumbling laugh vibrated his whole body as his friend tugged him closer. "Boyfriend material."
"Anyways!" James announced loudly. "That was so incredibly gay that I declare both of you removed from the lineup for Lily's hand! So Petey, want to duel to the death?"
"Prongs!"