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“ Hey, did you hear? The Ice Prince and Suisha’s Bright Knight were caught hanging out together. Look, someone posted a photo of them holding hands in public..”
“Are they really that shameless?”
Fall
“Wow, and yet they still have the courage to show their faces to us everyday.”
Fall.
“Right?! We don’t need traitors like them.”
F̶̧͌̈ä̸͈͔́͆l̴̤͂ļ̷̩͛.̷̩͉͂̄͘.
.
.
.
I’m so done with this. Harumi walked up to Akihiko, calling out, “Aki, listen–”
“No, let me talk, Harumi. We can’t keep doing this… if we do, my classmates, everything I’ve worked for, and my brother..!–”
“I don’t care about any of that, just listen to yourself! Is your reputation all you care about?” Harumi shouted, hands reaching out with a desperation of unknown origin. You can’t be serious, Aki… A variety of words flooded into his head, yet none had the guts to bear the burden of being said out loud. Please don’t leave, not yet, “Does my opinion not matter to you at all now?!”
Aki whipped around, eyes flashing the same look of desperation that Harumi could not make complete sense of, but Aki immediately redirected his gaze to the ground in front of him, “It’s not like that! I-I’m sorry, but it’s more than my reputation, I have people depending on me, and I…” The wind ceased its movement, “...I need to be better.” darkness filled Harumi’s vision as Aki’s lips moved to say its last words, turning away from him, “Goodbye, Kurose.”
Why won’t you look at me when you say that? Please, take it back.
+++
BEEP BEEP BE-
Harumi, half-conscious, habitually grabbed his alarm to shut it off. The voices of multiple birds gathered outside chirped away, enabling Harumi’s first thoughts to come to the conclusion; If I throw this alarm out my window, will they let me sleep in for five more minutes without disturbance?
As the songbirds continued their carols, Harumi gripped his blanket, aggressively flinging it off himself and towards the wall. His mood had gone downhill from the moment he started dreaming, and waking up to acknowledge that this was his final year at Higasa High School– alone –was in no way, shape or form, better in his eyes. His classmates whomst swooned over his “icy” persona in the beginning had completely twisted it into their own negative definition by now, rebranding him as a “Shameless Prince” ever since they saw him hanging around Akihiko. Why did they make such a fuss over this rivalry? It baffled Harumi to say the least. Going to classes alone had never troubled him either way, though, especially when he didn’t have to wait for someone to catch up with his pace. However, the energy gathered in the halls was more suffocating than usual now. It was like mannequins were blocking his path to each class, all of their expressions sinking into one collective mass as if to say, “You aren’t welcomed here.”
After pondering to the point of a headache, Harumi stood up to get ready for school with the little time he had left. With a glimpse into the mirror, his bed head was worse than usual, but it didn't bother him. No one could ever understand how undoubtedly majestic Harumi looked, since they deemed him as a “traitor” far too early. Washing away his thoughts, he slaps some moisturizer on his face before heading straight to his door.
Double checking his bag to make sure everything was in its designated spot, Harumi put on his shoes, an eternity passing by the time he finished tying the laces. Taking one glance back at his bedroom, he sighed, longing to feel the warmth of his own bed again to fill the dull feeling that sat in his chest. Only a few hours, they’ll go by quick enough.
XXX
“Shiraishi, please go home early and rest for today. We’ll handle things here, alright? Don’t worry, everyone will come back around.”
Each footstep dragged across the concrete, bringing Aki wherever his legs felt like going. He had been wandering for hours, and the sun was setting by now. He couldn’t show his face at home after being told to rest, he needed to reflect and better himself. Although, the sounds of his classmates' reactions were the only things that occupied Aki’s mind.
“Get out, we don’t want you here.”
“Traitors aren’t friends, leave me alone.”
“You know what happens to traitors, right, Shiraishi?”
Aki’s legs, finally locating him towards a playground, unexpectedly collapsed under him once he reached the border of the playset, a yelp escaping from his mouth. The voices of his classmates slowly dissipated from the shock, but it only took a few moments before they were ultimately replaced with his own destructive thoughts that extended their reaches out further, holding Akihiko in a stronger chokehold from behind.
"You’re a joke, seriously! What did you think would happen?"
Aki felt his heart ache from the question, and he held a fist in his hand. I know, I shouldn’t have.. Mini needles of doubt proceeded to thread their way into every aspect of his mind, forming a stitch of negativity that connected and intertwined with each other in an almost perfect manner.
"All you do is ruin those around you with your selfish desires."
I’ll do better, please, stop talking– But his mind wouldn’t listen, it talked to him as if it were a separate entity. Sweat formed on his palms, reality slipping with every drop that dared to form on his skin. He felt repulsive.
"Harumi is an outcast thanks to you now, Akihiko. You’re a traitor– no, not even, you’re lower than any word that could be used to describe you."
The threading in Aki’s head formed a knot that had engraved itself into his brain, leading his hands to impulsively grip his own shirt. His thoughts ran into wildfire, endless arrays of blame stabbing him through the chest. I can’t do anything, Harumi doesn’t deserve this, yet… I allowed it to happen. It should have only been me to take the blame. That would have been fine.. Just fine. Swelled up tears completely blocked Aki’s vision, the ground becoming a blur of color alongside his shoes.
"Seriously, you should have never dropped your façade."
The pit in Aki’s stomach grew as he let the stress overwhelm his senses. The breaths he had tried so hard to maintain turned into hyperventilating, and his gasps for air filled the dead silence of the playground. He wanted to throw up, but his body wouldn’t let him do so. He was still in public and needed to keep it in, he couldn’t let a stranger clean up after him. That would have only fed into his guilt.
Aki curled himself into a ball in hopes to comfort himself, even if it was only slightly, “It’s fine… I'm fine, I deserve this–” he choked on his words, covering his mouth as he sobbed into his hand. He was shaking all over, his world was spinning, but he couldn’t stop his thoughts from rampaging. He was all alone now, time felt endless and his heart ached for comfort. But his only comfort had left him already.
“Harumi.. Please forgive me, I’m sorry- I’m–”
“Aki..? Aki!” A familiar voice shouted out to Aki, sprinting over to hold a grip on his unstable figure. The eyes of the man overflowed with concern, and for a moment, Aki assumed he was hallucinating. He had just been aching for him, there was no way that he could have conveniently shown up again when Aki needed him most.
“Haru..mi?” Aki felt his heart stop when Harumi really appeared eye-level in front of him, moreso when he got pulled into a warm embrace seconds after. But, he didn’t feel too bad from this. In fact, the emptiness inside him healed just a bit.
XXX
“I got you, okay? I won’t go anywhere.” Harumi held onto Akihiko securely, afraid that Aki’s fragile state would shatter entirely if he did so much as let go. For a few minutes, the two of them held onto each other with no words to exchange, drowning out any unpleasant thoughts that might have interfered beforehand.
“..I'm fine now, I’m okay.” Aki wiped his face, pulling back from the hug to face Harumi. A light smile, one that distorted Aki’s face in an unnatural way, stared past the light-haired boy, “Thank you for that, seriously… I promise to repay you.” Glancing down, it seemed as if he was in a daze, and the emotion that might have been there before had completely drained out of him, “But I apologize, I have to go now. I'm sorry for the inconvenience,” Gathering himself as if nothing happened, Aki brushed the dirt off his pants to make his way back home.
Harumi, on the other hand, saw right through him and became irritated. Did he just?! Clenching his bag, Harumi speeds up to reach Aki, huffing out loud. As he jumps in front of Aki, Harumi kicks him in the ankle. He didn’t give any time for Aki to react before seizing his sleeve, stubbornly raising his voice, “If you want to repay me, then you have enough time to do it now, idiot!”
“But I have things I need to work on–”
Sending a bone-chilling glare in Aki’s direction, Harumi points a finger, “Don’t even try to come up with an excuse, I can see right through you, Akihiko. You aren’t walking away from me again.”
+++
Entering Harumi’s apartment, the two took their shoes off, placing them next to the front door. Akihiko hugged his bag, staring at the conventional walls. The atmosphere was awkward and he didn’t know what to do. However, it was the complete opposite for Harumi; who knew exactly what to do, and he wasn’t going to let Aki leave his apartment so easily. He knew how to play chill, so he was going to play chill and act as if nothing was wrong. Easy.
Harumi went into his kitchen, grabbing two bottles of water and heading towards his table, “Sit down, you don’t have to feel so shy,” He tossed water to Aki, nonchalantly moving past him to sit down too.
“O-Okay, I got it,” Aki joined Harumi at the table, sitting across from each other in awkward silence. Trying to ignore his unease, Akihiko opened his water bottle, turning away to hopefully drink it in peace.
The water had other intentions though, making its way down the wrong pipe. Slamming the bottle of water on the table, Aki began coughing hysterically.
Harumi raised an eyebrow, reluctantly extending his hand across the table to pat Aki on the back. Watching as he carried on coughing, Harumi murmured, “Aki, slow down, the water’s not gonna run away from you.” Oh, wait, clearing his throat, Harumi tried to sound a bit more respectful, “Joking, but seriously. There’s no need to rush, you can stay for as long as you’d like, I hope you know that.” He rubs the back of his neck, taking small glances up at Aki to take the hint.
“Harumi,” Aki takes a sip of water, soothing his voice, “I’m really sorry for intruding like this… and for everything else, honestly,” He tapped his bottle, looking down at it with a pained expression. He still could not bring himself to face Harumi when conscious, “you shouldn’t have to comfort me, not after I tried to cut you out of my life.. What I did was unforgivable,” As much as he wanted to stop himself, his tears only needed a split second to show up and break his composure, “I’m sorry, Harumi, I-I never wanted to hurt you–”
“Okay stop, I get it, crybaby,” Harumi mutters to himself, making his way to Aki before exhaling a sigh of relief. He caresses Aki’s hair gently, using his actions to show utmost care for the other’s well-being, “stress takes over and I’m sorry for my words back then, too. But if you ever think of saying sorry to me again, or you try to cut me off one more time…” Harumi lightly tugs at Aki’s hair with a sinister grin, “you are getting way worse than a kick to the ankle. Got that?”
It wasn’t very apparent with the jumbled state Aki was in thus far, but he quivered at the thought of what Harumi might put him through. A single tear rolled down his right eye from the rollercoaster of ever changing emotions, “Yes, sir,”
“Glad to hear that,” Harumi's patting came to an abrupt stop, his mind intruding on what he was doing. This is probably embarrassing for Aki right now, jeez I’m far too close. Harumi’s ears casted a pink shade at the realization, and he rubbed the back of his neck, moving backwards, “and just so you, y’know, don’t think I’m faking, I also didn’t want to stop being friends…” trailing off, Harumi’s face scrunched up. Okay stop, I'm going to cringe if I keep going. He felt as if he pointed out the obvious, which he really didn’t like to tell on his own. Internally sighing, Harumi peeked at Akihiko to possibly get a glimpse of his reaction. He flinched.
Staring back at Harumi was Aki’s loving features accompanied by a genuine smile, which surely was the reason he earned the name of “Suisha’s Bright Knight.” Bright may have been an understatement on his classmates’ end, however, as this smile was immensely charming, at least in Harumi’s eyes. He didn’t know how to react, and seeing such a beam of light flustered him to the point it wasn’t just his ears that were shaded pink anymore.
Akihiko gazed at Harumi, amazed by the other figure’s progress in expressing himself out loud that it almost brought tears of joy to his eyes, “Harumi~! You felt lonely without me too?!”
Jumping away from the bright Knight, Harumi retaliated with his sweater, covering his face from embarrassment. He threatened Aki, hissing, “Don’t repeat that! I’ll throw my water at you I swear..”
“Come here, Harumi aww~!” Aki shot up with a joyous grin, prancing his dandy way to Harumi, holding his hands out wide.
Using his water bottle as if it were a sword, the Prince tried to use his power over the Knight to escape, “Akihiko back up, I’m warning you, I said BACK U–”
Without warning, Aki locks onto Harumi and hugs him, pulling them both down onto the sofa. To the Bright Knight, he was just too happy that he would have sworn ten times over to protect the Prince. Any curses that Harumi threw at Aki sounded like pure bliss, and Akihiko wished to stay with him forever like this.
But Harumi couldn’t think as straight as him. His heart pounded in his chest, but not voluntarily. The fall must have brought this adrenaline out of him, there was no way it could have been anything other than that. It was nothing more than falling with the Knight unexpectedly, that was all.
Why else would his heart beat so loud?
+++
Tick, tock, tick.
"Stop lying to yourself."
Guards, execute him.
Harumi was stuck fighting an endless war in his head for about an hour nonstop. After Akihiko had thrown them both onto the couch, he had stopped moving, leaving Harumi shocked with the assumption that he had passed away. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case, and the Knight had just fallen asleep on top of the Prince after fighting a long battle himself. This was completely fine to Harumi, knowing how much Aki needed to rest right now, but he had one minor issue.
His heart wouldn’t stop racing.
I fear I’m going to get a heart attack before you wake up, Aki. Please drag me to my bed if I pass away, please and thank you. He didn’t have the audacity to push Aki onto the ground to get out, so he laid there, occupying himself with the songs in his head and awaiting his demise.
"…You’re an idiot."
Are you talking bookwise or streetwise? Last time I checked, I’m great at both.
"You love Aki, admit it."
Nah.
"You hug him, don’t want him to leave, share your feelings, let him in your apartment and even caress his HAIR."
...
Running his hands through his own hair, Harumi cursed himself for letting his thoughts turn to such delusions. He found that repressing such ideas always came back to haunt him, and he was not going to lay trapped for hours on end thinking about this single subject. He scoffed to the side, letting his weird thoughts win for once. Whispering to the side, out came the sweet melody that his mind had always wanted to hear Harumi admit.
“Okay fine, I love Aki, so shut up now…” His face soured, cringing at the fact that he even fought with his mind. He was grateful now that his mind would quiet down, but just as he closed his eyes to take a long breather, Aki’s head perked up, facing Harumi with a considerably puzzled look.
“...Eh?”