Chapter Text
Fascination seemed to be a given in conjunction with the unknown. There was something enticing about the unobtainable, at least…for most people. That wasn’t the case with Lee Felix, especially as he stared up into the bright light that emitted from the surface of the large ocean far above him. The water was warmer down here in the trash pit, and he had no doubt that it was probably hotter the farther anyone tried to rise to the surface. The unknown terrified him. The idea of remaining underwater forever didn’t scare him; it was all he had ever known, after all. In fact, he wouldn’t even go near where the bright sun of the human world could be seen…if it wasn’t for his best friend.
“Hey, Felix, look at this!” Hwang Hyunjin enthusiastically voiced, hurriedly swimming over to him with a tiny box in his hands. He opened it to reveal two shiny, round objects shoved into the bottom of the box.
“What are they?” Felix cluelessly wondered, though this wouldn’t be the first time Hyunjin showed off something sparkling he found in the trash pit created by humans dumping stuff into their home of the sea. He personally found objects being thrown into the ocean to be a bit disrespectful, even if Hyunjin was entranced by every little thing he found here.
“Who knows? Aren’t they pretty?” Hyunjin spoke with captivation as he pulled out one of the silver objects and held it up to the light of the surface. It seemed to shine brightest that way, and Felix couldn’t deny that the dazzling nature of the object was appealing. It also wasn’t the only thing beneath this sea that dazzled under light.
“That looks like a ring.” Their friend Seungmin guessed as Hyunjin swam over to Changbin and Jeongin to show off his find.
“A ring?” Felix questioned as he looked around the area shrouded in mystery and trinkets.
“Yeah, I think humans wear it as a fashion accessory on their fingers or something.” Seungmin added, though Felix had already lost interest in the rings in favor of the reflective glass wall before him.
It was strange being able to see himself, to watch this piece of glass mimic his every action. Though seeing his own reflection was not why he was so fixated on this wall. He could see Hyunjin, to marvel at him without directly gawking in a way.
He loved everything about his best friend. The way he always spoke carefully with a soft voice and kind words, the way his longer dark hair flowed under the water, how his fin was colorfully red in comparison to every other merfolk’s blue…all of it was beautiful to Felix. He could feel his heartbeat rising having such a clear image of that gorgeous smile on his friend’s face. He didn’t like the idea of the human world, but he loved seeing how happy it made Hyunjin.
Hyunjin carried a heavy burden of a role under this sea. Even if he tried not to show that it bothered him often, Felix knew that it did. Whenever they escaped to this trash pit, Hyunjin’s whole world brightened in an instant. He was happiest when he was here, and despite how much it scared Felix, he didn’t mind returning here over and over again…so long as that shimmering look remained in Hyunjin’s eyes.
“There’s two of them! Hyunjin, we should share!” Changbin excitedly proposed, clinging to Hyunjin’s arm.
Felix felt a sting of jealously take over his being. He didn’t like how flirty Changbin always was with his best friend.
“Changbin-hyung, knock it off. As a prince, you know I’m not allowed to invest my time in romantic relationships. I have a duty to uphold and what not, remember?” Hyunjin shot Changbin down for the umpteenth time, relieving Felix and simultaneously gutting him.
He solemnly turned away from the reflective wall to admire his best friend directly. What would Hyunjin think…if he knew just how in love with him Felix was? The thought of him ever finding out scared Felix to death, especially since Hyunjin falling in love was forbidden. His feelings could wreck their entire friendship they’ve had since birth. His secret could never come to light…but damn, was it hard to hide sometimes.
“Besides, there’s no one I rather share this with than Felix. He is my best friend.” Hyunjin added as he swam over to Felix, who couldn’t hide his mild panic. Hyunjin took Felix’s hand and slipped one of the rings onto his finger before pulling his hand up to the light.
“Look how shiny it is!” He happily chirped out, Felix’s eyes wide in astonishment.
It might have been the shiniest thing Hyunjin had ever found down here…but he was more surprised to feel Hyunjin’s hand against his. His skin was as warm and soft as always and even if they held hands from time to time, the feeling would never not set a fire in Felix’s water-clogged heart. Felix pulled his hand closer to his face after Hyunjin had released it, admiring the ring placed there. He wasn’t easily fascinated by Hyunjin’s discoveries, but this one had him a bit intrigued. It really was pretty with these tiny glistening stones lined into the band.
“You know, we probably shouldn’t stay here too long or your dad is gonna be mad, Hyunjin-hyung. He hates when you visit this place.” Jeongin reminded his friend, who was busy placing the other ring on his own hand.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. He’s busy in a board meeting today so I thought I’d slip out to play around for a while.” Hyunjin explained as he looked over the ring box in his hands.
“We probably should go. That meeting started like two hours ago. It should be about done by now.” Felix tried to reason with the prince, as he often had to when the other got so caught up in his fixation with the human world.
“Hyunjin, wanna swim home with me?” Changbin shamelessly suggested, causing Hyunjin to roll his eyes with a tiny grin.
“Yeah, I’m gonna pass. See ya later, Hyung.” He once more shot down his friend, who stuck out pouty lips as he swam off with Seungmin and Jeongin. Felix tried to focus on the path ahead of him as he swam at Hyunjin’s side, though it was difficult not to get distracted by him.
“Did your father tell you what the meeting was about?” He asked, though Hyunjin seemed uninterested in that subject.
“No; he rarely does and I don’t really care.” He candidly responded, leaving Felix a little guilty for bringing it up.
“Sorry…I just wondered if it was important.” He carefully apologized, Hyunjin letting out a sigh.
“Every meeting is so important, isn’t it? Everything the king does is important…and the same goes for the prince. It’s stifling.” He admitted, unsurprisingly to Felix. This wasn’t the first time he had heard the ‘I hate being prince’ lecture.
“I wish things were different too…but this is just how it is. This is the life we were born to live.” He sympathized with his best friend, who he also wished wasn’t prince. Maybe then, his feelings wouldn’t be so criminal.
“I wish…that I was human…that I could walk amongst them under the heat of the sun, on the surface of the sand. It sounds like such a beautiful life.” Hyunjin wondrously professed his dreams with a smile, leaving Felix’s heart pounding once more. Honestly, he didn’t wish the same…but Hyunjin made something so scary sound mesmerizing.
“At least we can all dream, right?” He replied, leaving his opinion on the matter up in the air.
He felt like his response was the best answer he could give. In Hyunjin’s dreams, he could be the human that he wanted, living the beautiful life he envisioned. In Felix’s dreams, his feelings were known to all…and he and Hyunjin were a happy couple who were allowed to say ‘I love you’. He could never hear those words in his lifetime, but there was another phrase he adored hearing in place of it.
“You’re my best friend, Felix.” Hyunjin sweetly spoke the words he often craved to hear, a tiny smile crossing Felix’s face. He hoped his cheeks weren’t turning too red.
“And you are mine.” He devotedly responded, a wide grin playing on Hyunjin’s lips. He ruffled Felix’s long blonde locks before swimming ahead to unlock his castle doors.
Felix remained behind him, breathlessly running his fingers through his hair where Hyunjin’s hand had just been. Every electric touch he left lingered on Felix for longer than he felt should have. It was an easily addicting feeling.
“Huh, it’s already unlocked. Guess someone forgot to close up when leaving.” Hyunjin curiously informed, leaving Felix a bit puzzled. It was policy to always lock up the castle. How could anyone forget?
The two swam through the doors and down the long hall that would eventually lead them to the meeting room. It seemed like the castle was empty, so it was apparent that the meeting was now over. Hopefully, Hyunjin’s father had no knowledge of where his son spent the afternoon.
“Sir, I’m sorry but don’t you feel like it’s too soon?”
Hyunjin held out his hand to prevent Felix from swimming any further, hearing a voice come from the board room. Was the meeting really not over? Felix remained behind Hyunjin as the two treaded statically outside of the room, thrown into the middle of what seemed to be a rather serious conversation.
“I don’t. I’m not as useful to this ocean as I once was. I think a change of leadership would be a healthy welcome to our community.” Hyunjin’s father proposed, Felix’s eyes immediately widening. He noticed Hyunjin’s eyes go big as well…and it was apparent that they were both catching on to what was being discussed.
“Sir, Hyunjin is only twenty-four years old. Most kings take their rein at thirty or older. He still has many childlike tendencies. Are you certain this is the best option?” The king’s advisor Mr. Yun questioned, confirming the friends’ suspicions.
Felix could feel his heart drop into the pit of his stomach. They wanted to make Hyunjin king already…? If that happened…Hyunjin would be busy all of the time, as if he didn’t have enough going on in his life already. Would he ever see Hyunjin? What would become of them?
There was practically no one that spent time with The King. He was alone outside of conversations with his advisor, his son, or board meetings. Even then, interaction was limited and never lasted more than twenty minutes at a time. As far as he knew, Hyunjin already had someone in line to be his advisor. It wasn’t like Felix would be present in any board meetings; he wasn’t important. He was known only for being Hyunjin’s best friend. He had no special privileges otherwise. He didn’t like where this was going.
If he lost Hyunjin, who would he have left to run to? Seungmin, Jeongin, and Changbin could never replace Hyunjin, and his own father was often busy at the board meetings since he was part of the council. It wasn’t like he had a mother to run to, nor did Hyunjin. But it seemed like that in itself harbored a secret bigger than either of them expected.
“If I’m being frankly honest, Hyunjin’s fascination with the human world is growing stronger to the point that it scares me. I’ve told him many times that if he tries to rise above the surface of the water, the air of the earth will cut through his lungs and kill him. No matter how many times I’ve said that, he still finds time to run off to that trash pit the humans created. If his curiosity gets the better of him, if he finds out his mother’s human origins…he’ll find out that the air is no more toxic to him than the water. Making him king now will force him to remain here without time to explore too deeply into the world around him."
Felix’s jaw dropped hearing The King’s words, his heart momentarily halting a beat. It seemed the same had happened to Hyunjin, who was just as stunned as he was. He desperately tried to decipher the words that he just heard, but his mind kept going to a single phrase.
‘The air is no more toxic to him than the water’.
Was he implying…that Hyunjin could breathe human air…? If Hyunjin could breathe air…if Hyunjin’s mother was human…then that meant Hyunjin shouldn’t have been just a merman at all. That would mean that he was…
“Yes, but don’t you feel that it’s best to tell Hyunjin that he’s a water-breather before he takes the throne? He’ll need time to process the reality of his family’s origins in order to grow up enough to take this role. None of this is to mention what would happen if he found out Felix is also a water-breather. This will be a huge revelation and adjustment to his identity. Please think this through.”
Felix put a hand to his heart, which was smacking against his ribcage harder than it ever had before. He could barely breathe or focus; he was slipping into a state of shock. They were both water-breathers, capable of transforming into a human form upon rising from a body of water. Hyunjin was a water-breather, meaning his dream of walking amongst humans wasn’t impossible as they had previously thought. Felix was a water-breather…with half-human blood flowing inside of him. He was too stunned to feel much of anything…but he felt like he might be sick.
He was a water-breather.
Without warning, Hyunjin grabbed his hand and pulled him back down the hall. Trying to come to his senses, he let Hyunjin drag him along as he swam out of the castle as fast as he could. He couldn’t really keep up, so he let his friend continue to pull him through the sea.
He had never seen such a hurt expression on Hyunjin’s face before. It seemed like that whole conversation broke him, though it wasn’t like Felix could blame him. After all, his origins were leaked through that overheard discussion as well.
“I can’t believe him! He’s been lying to me for my whole life!” Hyunjin angrily voiced as he hastily swam along, Felix finding himself a little nervous that there seemed to be a destination in mind. “He told me my mother was killed by humans fishing into the sea right after I was born. That was all a lie if she was human! Is she even dead?!”
Felix couldn’t deny that he was a little hurt by his own father telling him the same lie. He said that he met The King because their wives were such close friends, and even after they were killed during the same event, the two husbands remained close so that their wives’ friendship would live on through their children. But if both his mother and Hyunjin’s were human, then they couldn’t have lived under the sea at all…meaning that the event that killed them couldn’t have taken place. It sounded crazy but…was it true that his mother could have been alive somewhere?
It hurt him that whole story was fake, as he found purpose in it for most of his life. It gave him a reason to live, and it was a beautiful tale, even if tragic. It didn’t change the fact that he felt like he was born only to be Hyunjin’s best friend, born only to be a part of someone else’s life. Maybe this revelation would ease the guilt he felt falling for his friend. He often saw himself and Hyunjin as a recreation of their mothers. He wondered for a long time if his mother would be disappointed in him if she knew he had fallen in love with the one he was supposed to consider his best friend.
“Hyunjin, where are we going?” He anxiously wondered as he noticed the trash pit peering into his line of sight.
Hyunjin put them at a halt, Felix holding out his hands to prevent himself from slamming right into his friend. Except that nearly placed him in Hyunjin’s arms, who seemed far too determined to care about their close proximity.
“I can’t do it, Felix. I can’t be king…not now…not ever.” He admitted, significantly worrying Felix.
Hyunjin’s duty under the sea was to be prince, a prince that would inevitably take the role as king. That’s the life they were born into. That’s the life they were meant to live. He wasn’t sure how to tell Hyunjin that he would eventually end up king no matter how hard he tried to avoid it. The direction of his life set in stone by fate couldn’t be altered so easily. He only gave his friend apprehensive eyes, unable to force negative words out of his mouth. He didn’t want to be the one to tell Hyunjin that his duty in life would never change.
“I’m done living in lies…so I’m escaping from it all.” Hyunjin confessed, Felix finding his heart picking up speed at a rapid pace. “I’m going to the surface…to hide in the human world.”
Felix opened his mouth, but no words would roll off his trembling lips. As soon as he heard that Hyunjin was a water-breather, he knew this was going to be the first thing on his friend’s mind. He knew Hyunjin would try to walk amongst the humans…he just did his best to deny the possibility of that becoming a reality. Now that they were here…what was he supposed to say to prevent him from going? When Hyunjin got that look of determination in his eyes, there was nothing in the world that could stop him. Felix badly wanted to be the force that changed his mind, the force that had even just a little control over Hyunjin. Maybe he should have worked harder at it over the years.
“Hyunjin…” He managed to mutter out, his friend giving him a delicate smile that said he wasn’t going to change his mind.
“Will you come with me?” He asked, and Felix wanted more than anything to be conflicted with those words.
He didn’t want to rise to the surface. He didn’t want to walk amongst humans, to try and blend in by hiding their identity. The thought of all of this terrified him beyond understanding. But he was so in love…blinded by Hyunjin even if he could never have him. There was nothing in the world that would keep him from remaining at Hyunjin’s side…even the horrors of breathing air that could slice the lungs of those living underwater.
“I’d follow you anywhere you go.” He passionately admitted, Hyunjin giving him an oblivious smile as always. He took Felix’s hand and pulled him up, the two swimming above the trash pit and towards the light of the sun.
Felix heavily inhaled the water around him. It might be a while before breathing like this felt so relieving.