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Yuji had framed the sonnet he got from Megumi and placed it on his nightstand, a daily bedtime story. One night, he got stuck on a certain line. The best one from the whole thing, to be honest.
If I fell in love, I know you would, too.
Once again, Yuji fell into bed straight after a shower, frame in hands, rereading the line.
If Megumi fell in love, Yuji would, too.
Was Megumi in love?
Better question yet, was Yuji in love?
Was there a point along the ‘falling in love’ where the process was over?
Love, love, love. Yuji let out a sigh and put the frame back on his nightstand. The ‘love’ thing was obvious for him. Whether he was falling in love, was in love, was loving - he didn’t care for the phrase itself when the feeling was there.
And it was so simple. Megumi, with his eyeliner that had gotten progressively more advanced than a simple line, with his scowls and eye rolls when he didn’t have a good feeling about something, with his strong belief in the success of their band, and with everything else, was always on Yuji’s mind, but not only there. Thoughts were fleeting, and Megumi - or maybe Yuji did that, he wasn’t sure - carved out a piece of Yuji’s heart and made the empty space his home. Megumi was a part of Yuji’s heart, life, everything.
He loved Megumi’s smiles as much as his scowl and as much as his quiet moments and talkative moments. Everything that Megumi was made of, Yuji loved.
He’d do everything for Megumi, and he’d worship every single thing he touched. In his eyes, Megumi was perfect, and would always be, and his mere existence was something like a miracle.
He loved Megumi in his own way, sometimes more, sometimes less intensely.
That was not the problem.
What Yuji wasn’t sure of was how to tell him about it.
He wasn’t scared of a reaction, and he didn’t care about making it perfect - nothing about their relationship had ever been flawless, which made it that much more beautiful. The right moment was a whole different story, though. Yuji wanted the moment to be perfect like nothing ever had been in his life. He wanted it to be so right that he’d start to suspect someone had planned it a long time ago.
When the plates clattered downstairs, Yuji jumped off the bed, headed to bother his brother. It's not like Sukuna knew much about love and such, but who else was he supposed to bother?
By the time Yuji got to the kitchen, Sukuna, the late sleeper and late eater, had made a mess he wouldn't clean.
“How do you know when a moment is right?” Yuji asked, then immediately paused. “What are you making?”
“Tacos.”
“At midnight?”
“Is there a law against making tacos at midnight?” Sukuna asked, adding some ground meat to the oil sizzling in the pan. “It doesn’t matter, I would make them anyway. What was that question you asked? The right moment? The fuck am I supposed to know?”
Yuji sat at the table. “When you do something. How do you know when to do it?”
“I don’t. I just do it whenever I decide to do it.” He threw some spices into the pan. “What are you even talking about?”
Entirely prepared for some asshole-y reaction, Yuji rested his cheek on his palm and said, “Telling Megumi that I love him.”
Gagging noises. As expected.
“You being in love with him is the most obvious thing in the world,” Sukuna said. “Why the sudden need to tell him?”
“Because. I just want to tell him.”
“Take the phone, call him and do it.”
“You’re fucking horrible at romance. Over the phone? Seriously? Is that how you’re romancing that new friend of yours?”
Sukuna turned his head slowly, giving Yuji the glare, before adding more things into the pan and literally throwing a lid on top of it. “First of all, I’m not romancing anyone,” he said, washing his hands. “Second of all, if I’m so horrible at romance, why are you asking me? Call Choso.”
“I heard you in the kitchen, so I jumped on the occasion. Not that I expected you to be helpful.”
“In this case, don’t expect any tacos.”
Yuji would get the tacos anyway, which wasn’t the advice he was looking for, but still an acceptable outcome.
~~
Megumi was getting ready for a gig, and Yuji was not even trying to be subtle about the very obvious crush he had on his boyfriend. It was all in the lipstick, this time, because for some crazy reason, Megumi decided he’d wear it black.
“Take this.” He handed Yuji a bag of wet wipes. Sitting on Megumi's desk, Yuji leaned back and stuffed the wipes into the pocket of his shorts. “After the gig, I’ll wash it off. If it smears, I’m gonna look stupid.”
“Can’t I just lick it off?”
Megumi snorted, eyes on the mirror as he perfected the lipstick. “You’d smear it the most if we kissed, and we’d both look stupid. If it was red, cool. But not black.”
“Wait, does it mean I can’t kiss you before you’re done with performing?”
“Yup.”
With a whine, Yuji melted off the desk. “Don’t do this to me.”
“Too late.”
Yuji got into his space as much as possible, stealing at least a cheek kiss before settling his gaze on Megumi’s face. “You look so hot. My emo boy.”
Megumi rolled his eyes, but smiled regardless. He always smiled at the compliments. “I know. Now let’s go, or we’ll be late.”
Megumi’s band was playing at some kind of festival happening in one of the parks in the city. There were a bunch of bands playing, with Megumi’s at the very beginning, and the whole team was supposed to meet there.
“Did you tell your brother to come with his new friend?” Megumi asked as they walked downstairs.
“That’s what I told him,” Yuji said. “No one even knows them. I said, bring your friend, we wanna meet them, too. But he was weird about it. I think he has a crush or something, but doesn’t wanna admit it, that’s why he’s like that.”
“Of course he’s got a crush.” Megumi huffed. “You don’t talk over the phone for four hours with someone you kinda like.”
Before they could leave, no matter how sneaky Megumi tried to be, Gojo was there, waiting for him with a camera.
Megumi groaned and rolled his eyes, and he was already snapping pictures.
“Why are you doing this to me? Why?” he whined, trying to snatch the phone from his grip.
“Memories, Megumi,” Gojo said. “I’m gonna show your grandma.”
“Grandma’s gonna be really happy that you raised an emo gay playing in a band.”
“She better be, because I am!” Gojo grinned, winning the fight for the phone. “Can you hold him for me, Yuji? I just want one nice picture.”
“No need to ask me twice,” Yuji said, easily catching Megumi’s hand and pulling him into a back hug.
Megumi gave up, slumping between his arms. “Your alliance is not a good thing. You do realize it, right?”
They managed one picture before Megumi slipped out of his arms and straight for the door. “Tsumiki! You’ve got five seconds to get here or else we’re leaving alone!”
Footsteps thudded through the house. “I’m coming! Wait for me, I swear I’m ready!”
But she wasn’t, and she was still doing her make-up in the car, so Yuji had to drive 30 at most.
Megumi was scowling. “I really don’t like this car.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“We’re good now, but… I don’t know, the memories stuck.”
“Then this is the last time we’re driving it,” Yuji said. “It’s not gonna run for much longer, either. Everything in this shit is broken.”
“So, it could technically break this very moment?” Tsumiki asked from the backseat.
“It could.”
And obviously it did. From the moment something inside made a horrible noise, Yuji managed to drag it to the nearest supermarket parking lot.
“Well, you called it,” he said, glancing at Tsumiki, holding back a laugh.
“Thanks, sister. We’re totally gonna make it on time.” Megumi rolled his eyes as the two of them got out of the car.
Tsumiki, eyes wide, followed them. “I didn’t break it! What, maybe I’m cursed?! Yuji said it was bound to happen!”
“I’m calling Maki,” Megumi said. “I’m not gonna be getting sweaty before I even step on stage.”
When they finally got to the park, thanks to Maki and her insane, rule-breaking driving, Megumi had to leave to get ready for the stage. Yuji got no kisses, which was a shame.
In the current stage of their relationship, he absolutely hated separation. He could spend every waking and sleeping moment with Megumi, and it wouldn’t be enough.
Besides, every moment could turn out to be the right moment to tell Megumi that he loved him, and Yuji couldn’t be missing it.
Okay, so maybe he was a bit obsessed with the right moment, but today felt and smelled like the perfect opportunity. Soon. Sooner or later, the timing would be just right for Yuji to say it for the first time.
~~
When their performance was over, Megumi, Kugisaki and Maki found their group around one of the benches right outside where the whole festival ordeal ended. As soon as he could, Yuji pulled Megumi aside and locked their lips.
Megumi whined against his lips, breaking the kiss. “Wash the damn lipstick off, first.”
Yuji rolled his eyes, but dived into his pocket for a tissue. “You’re so demanding.” Holding his face with one hand, he ran the tissue along Megumi’s lip, trying and failing at feeling somewhat normal about Megumi’s lips and how close they were. “You guys were as cool as always. You should drop an album or something so you can give full concerts.”
“Making an album takes time,” Kugisaki said, overhearing from the side. That would be about everything that Yuji heard before he got lost in the lips and the lipstick. No offense to Kugisaki, though.
When Yuji was done, Megumi snatched the wipe from his hand and dragged a clean piece along Yuji’s lip. “You got some on from the kiss, dumbass,” he said smiling.
Finally, Yuji could slip his fingers through Megumi’s hair and kiss him. Whoever invented the act of kissing was a genius, and whoever decided Megumi would want Yuji to kiss him was another genius.
There, right there, the words swelled in his heart. I love you. He could break the kiss and whisper it into his ear so that no one else would hear. He’d be swift, but he could say it now, because it was already making his heart burst open.
“Oh my God.”
Kugisaki’s voice cut through his head, killing the mood. Note to self , Yuji thought, you have to tune out everything that is not Megumi if you want this to work.
When they broke the kiss, Yuji followed the gaze of everyone else, and his eyes widened.
“Is this your brother?” Megumi asked.
“ With his friend,” Yuji said. “Hey, stop staring,” he whispered. “He’s gonna run away and we won’t meet them again.”
At once, everyone turned, acting like no one was dying to get to know the one person that Sukuna was so interested in that he started to ditch them more and more often.
It started during the first month of the summer. At first, everyone missed it. Sukuna was the enemy, and then he slowly wasn’t, but he wasn’t as welcomed anymore, and there were a lot of concerts everyone had to attend so their focus was mostly on the band and not on Sukuna anyway. It slipped by them completely, until that one sleepover Yuji and Megumi had at Yuji’s house.
Sukuna spent good two hours with the said friend no one knew anything about, talking and talking, and talking some more. Yuji spread the rumor, and so the more forgiving everyone became towards his twin, the more they wanted to meet the friend.
Sukuna did not want them to meet the friend. He didn’t even tell them their name. Yuji and Kugisaki tried their best to get any piece of info out of Sukuna, and both of them failed.
“You missed the performance,” Maki said. “Better have a good excuse.”
Sukuna wasn’t looking at any of them, very obviously avoiding eye contact. “This is Uraume. I’m not gonna be introducing y’all so do your thing.”
So Uraume. Uraume was, for a lack of a better word, tiny. Skinny like a twig. Yuji imagined Sukuna, if Uraume was just another friend, resting his elbow on top of their head to stand more comfortably. He did that once to Kugisaki, and never again after being threatened.
But Uraume was certainly not just another friend. Not with the way Sukuna was acting.
“Are you constipated or what?” Yuji asked when he managed to get his brother aside for a moment.
“I’m not fucking constipated, what are you talking about?”
“You look really tense.”
Sukuna crossed his arms on his chest, shifting from one leg to another, eyes never leaving the spot where Tsumiki, Nobara and Yuta were talking with Uraume.
“Oh.” Yuji chuckled. “You care.”
“I don’t care.”
“Oh, you care.” He grinned. “You care so much.”
“I don’t care.”
“Whatever you say. Hey, by the time you’re dropping the L-word, I’ll have it perfected, so if you need advice- ouch ! What was that for?” he asked, rubbing his shoulder.
His brother rolled his eyes. “Do you ever shut the fuck up? Go romance your boyfriend instead of bothering me.”
Not that Yuji didn’t love to annoy his twin, but he loved being with Megumi a little bit more, and so he happily skipped away.
~~
Sukuna met Uraume during his first legal outing to the bar (not first in general). He had to go alone, because now that everyone in the group was in a relationship, they became insufferable and annoying.
What was that feeling? Like… when you cut the umbilical cord… No, that was not it. Sukuna wouldn’t know, he’d never had his umbilical cord cut. Wait, no. He had. But, like. He probably didn’t feel it like a mother would. Would a mother feel it? The process of giving birth didn't sound like a relaxing bit-
That was entirely not the point. The point was that his twin had a boyfriend, and spent a lot of time with the boyfriend, and Sukuna was lonely. He’d never admit it if he wasn’t on his seventh beer, though.
Being at the bar alone was boring, because all he did was sit at the counter, order a beer after a beer and get progressively more wasted. And think about umbilical cords, of course. But he was making it work, because there wasn't much else to do.
“Can you slow down?” someone asked him. Low and raspy voice. Like… like royalty? No. Like something much more villainous. “I’m trying to see if I can drink more than you, but if you keep going at that pace, I’ll have to crawl back home.”
His head was already heavy, resting on his palm. He turned to look at the girl- no, at the guy- no.
“What gender are you?” he asked smartly. Was that an acceptable question in society these days or was it something Kugisaki would try to break his neck for?
The villainous royalty with hair as white as Fushiguros’ father shrugged. “Dunno.”
Sukuna huffed, or at least tried. “Cool. Why are we in a drinking competition? Do I know you?”
“I do that when I’m bored,” they said. “Find the saddest looking person in the bar and see if I can match their pace.”
Sukuna huffed a laugh, this time feeling a bit more sober, and dragged himself to a sitting position instead of half-lying on the counter. “I’m not sad… or… whatever. But I’m up for a drinking competition. Do we have a tie now?”
That’s how they met. They carried out the competition back in Sukuna’s house and at some point passed out. Sukuna remembered nothing after they somehow made it to his house. Yuji was having a sleepover at Fushiguro’s, and for once Sukuna was glad that he could avoid questions that would certainly ensue.
They stirred awake on the living room floor, and Sukuna found out he miraculously remembered their name. Before shit could get awkward, the hangover hit, and Uraume said, “I can make the best ochazuke.”
Sukuna fucking loved ochazuke. It always worked wonders on his hangovers, even though Yuji always claimed miso was better.
So Uraume made the best ochazuke he’d ever had, and Sukuna decided they were friends now. It was easier than he thought, because the same things pissed them off, and the same things they found tolerable.
Uraume was a fucking weirdo. They hated gender, people, road rules, the concept of recreational drinking and an acceptable amount of alcohol, and had questionable morals. Uraume stayed around after ochazuke, and they both painted their nails black, and Sukuna then decided they were best friends.
Spending time with his twin was a given. Whether Sukuna liked it or not, whether they got along or not, they spent time together, because if they didn’t, someone would sooner or later go insane. That was a weird bond thing that he couldn’t get rid of even if he tried, but since it turned out that one of the twins having a boyfriend lessened the effects of time not spent together, Sukuna was feeling the lack twice as much.
Spending time with Uraume was something Sukuna enjoyed.
Not somewhat enjoyed . Not kinda enjoyed . Not enjoyed, but rolled his eyes most of the time . He enjoyed it. Completely Utterly. Thoroughly. It was so fucking weird, but also so fucking fun. And it seemed to be mutual. Apparently, it was hard for both of them to find someone who wouldn’t mind the cynicism and the tendency to be an asshole.
The problem was with his current group of friends. They were fucking nosy.
Kugisaki on his one side on the bench, Maki on another.
“So?” Kugisaki asked, nudging him with an elbow. “Are you going to settle down now?”
“You’re getting ahead of yourself.” Sukuna huffed, taking a drag of the cigarette. “Uraume’s my friends. That’s all.”
“You haven’t taken your eyes off of them since you came here,” Maki said, waving away the smoke he let out.
“Like literally,” Kugisaki added. “You’re always looking where they are.”
Sukuna was, in fact, doing that. He wasn’t sure why. Not because he was romancing someone, as everyone seemed to claim he was doing.
It was about that weird feeling he had. A high, almost. Like his life was a teeny tiny bit… better. He knew, realistically, that all these people here would choose his twin over him if there was a necessity like that. They weren’t playing favorites now that things were good between everyone, but Sukuna just knew.
Uraume was his friend. Uraume would choose Sukuna over Yuji.
And because he was always looking where Uraume was, he caught them pulling something between a scowl and the most disgusted expression ever at Todo, and Sukuna realized something. He wasn’t lonely anymore.
It’s not like he was ever alone. But his brothers had their own lives - they would always keep in touch and they’d always visit, but ultimately, they wouldn’t make their lives about Sukuna. As established, even if they were around now, the fact that he would never be their friends’ first choice always made him feel lonely even when he was among them.
His new friendship took this feeling away.
~~
They stayed at the festival for a long time, eating, drinking and playing whatever games they came across. The sun had set, and the sky’s blue was darkening. Sooner or later, everyone paired up and the group split.
Yuji waited for Megumi a bit away from the crowd, sitting on a bench with a stuffed black cat that he’d won for Megumi in one of the games. He’d been trying his best to catch the next best moment, but everytime he was about to say it, something disturbed him.
Even now, away from people, Yuji could do it, but his mind was occupied by something else.
“Boo.” Megumi came from the right, carrying two iced teas. He sat next to Yuji, pressing their bodies as close as it was possible, handing one plastic mug to him. “Yours is peach, mine’s mint. I wanna switch halfway.”
“‘Kay, darling.”
“It makes me feel like a grandpa, this nickname.”
“‘Kay, Gumi?” he tried again.
“No. Too sweet. I'm emo, Yuji.”
“Guro,” Yuji said. “From Fushiguro. Third time's a charm, so it's either this or nothing.” He took a sip of his tea. It was perfectly sweet, with a sour hint.
Megumi humphed. “Whatever,” he mumbled, and Yuji knew he liked it.
“Can you see it?” Yuji asked.
“What?”
“At the table in the back, away from most people.”
The sight was truly remarkable, because his brooding twin brother was laughing. It wasn't any scoffing or huffing, either. Whatever they were talking about, Sukuna and Uraume were laughing.
“Wow,” Megumi muttered, leaning closer, bumping their heads together. “It's kinda like they were made for each other.”
Yuji always felt like there was a part of his brother that no one, not even him, could reach. A dark and sad part. Not the one that made him brooding and cynical. That was just how Sukuna was, and that was fine. But there was something deeply hidden, something painfully sad, that Yuji would probably not know about if he hadn't spent so much time with his twin.
Seeing him laugh like that spread to Yuji somehow - must have been a twin thing, and Yuji knew, instinctively, that Sukuna had never been happier.
“I'm glad they met,” he said. “I feel like they're gonna be very annoying together, but I'm glad.”
Yuji took a sip of his tea and finally tore his attention away from his brother. He looked at Megumi, already knowing that tonight was not the night. The words pressed onto his lips, because they always did, but Yuji didn't want to say it yet. There was just too much focus on someone else, something else.
It was fine. Even without saying it, things were perfect in their own way.
“You’re staring. What is it?” Megumi asked.
“I just like looking at you, that’s all.” He laid his head on Megumi's shoulder. “Here. I drank half.”
They switched the mugs. Yuji didn't take a sip - he knew how this was going to end.
Megumi made a displeased sound. “Too sweet. I don't like it.”
Yuji exchanged their mugs again. “I know. Have yours. I like the peach better anyway.”
Even if he wouldn't, he'd do the same thing. It was of utter importance to Yuji that Megumi had everything he wanted.
~~
Satoru was not the first one to host parties, and he should have known that having a built-in pool installed in his backyard would make kids fly to it like moths to light.
He did set it up for his kids, but hadn't realized that kids knew a lot of other kids. Every other day now, his backyard was a party place, and Satoru was growing used to it.
It took him a while to stop glaring at one of the Itadori twins, though.
It was one of those days, a lazy afternoon with - one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten high school graduates lounging in his backyard, a lazy afternoon of Satoru barbecuing meat because even if he didn't like that many kids, he wouldn't let them run hungry.
It was one of those days when the doorbell rang. He could hear it through the back door kept open.
“Keep an eye on the food,” he said, specifically pointing at Megumi. No one else was to be trusted.
He wiped his basically clean hands into his jean shorts and crossed the house. Satoru expected anyone, but absolutely not Shoko and Utahime.
Shoko.
Oh my God.
Satoru was suddenly very awkward.
“You are a dick,” Utahime said, pointing at him. Always straight to the point. “But she is a child. And I am tired.”
Satoru and Shoko (and Suguru, but let's not make things more difficult) had been best friends for years. The day Satoru met Suguru, he was also introduced to Shoko, and so they became a trio. Then Utahime tagged along when she started dating Shoko, a fellow athlete, also retired these days, and things were fine.
Even though Shoko and Suguru had known each other first, having graduated from the same medical school and then working in the same hospital, Shoko and Satoru made it work as best friends better than anyone else.
But then Shoko and Utahime moved to Kyoto when Shoko got a better job there. Half a year later, Suguru left. Satoru ghosted Shoko, and by extension Utahime, unintentionally. Too much was going on, and he didn't have a mind to keep the phone calls and messages running.
So it's been a bit over a year since Satoru and Shoko last talked.
“What… are you doing here?” he finally asked, trying to seem like he wasn't dying under the crushing weight of embarrassment. It was very easy to not think about it when Shoko wasn’t standing on his doorstep.
For the first time, she looked up. “We're moving back to Tokyo,” she said. “Just say we're not friends anymore and we'll leave. This is a waste of time.”
“What?” Satoru dropped his hand from the door handle. “Who said we’re not?”
“You never text or call anymore.”
“I… Well, yes, but… Things were… really messed up. It's not like I didn't want to call. I just…” He pinched his nose bridge. “I didn't have a mind for it. I was… I was struggling with being a dad, and with Suguru not being around, and with the kids being rebellious teenagers.”
Shoko frowned. “Tsumiki rebellious?”
“You don't even know.” He huffed, stepping out of the way. There, right this very moment, things between them were fixed.
That's how they dealt with shit. Between the lines. Mostly for the sake of Shoko, who's emotional vulnerability was so deeply hidden that despite caring a lot, she always came across as not caring at all.
It was fine with Satoru. He understood her even between the lines.
“We're having a gathering,” he said. “I mean, the kids are having one. I'm only a cook. You can join and meet the kids’ new friends and boyfriends.”
“If it's burned, it's not my fault!” was the first thing Megumi said. Then he caught sight of the guests and his eyes widened.
Tsumiki squealed, already running across the yard to throw her arms around Utahime. When Megumi joined them, his smile soft but wide, Shoko went on to mess up his hair and point out new piercings.
No one ever said it, but Utahime was Tsumiki's, and Shoko was Megumi's. They just got along like that, even though neither Utahime nor Shoko ever played favorites.
“Okay, now, who are the boyfriends?” Utahime asked, surveying the group.
“Aunty,” Tsumiki scolded, but she was laughing, arms wrapped around Utahime. “There's no need to play tough. The boyfriends are fine.”
“I bet Gojo checked them thoroughly but I need to do it myself to be sure.”
Todo was his own kind of weirdo, and by the look on her face, even Utahime was weirded out. Yuji, on the other hand, was acting strange. Satoru thought he made it up until Megumi pointed it out, too.
“You're literally buzzing, what's going on?” Megumi asked him.
Yuji cleared his throat, awkwardly not looking at anyone in particular. He mumbled something to Megumi, which supposedly was to be a secret, but Megumi was a little shit.
“Oh! He’s a fan,” he said, despite Yuji’s protests.
“Oh?” Utahime was won over before Yuji even introduced himself.
Satoru caught Shoko’s gaze as they both rolled their eyes, laughing quietly.
One more mistake fixed. Satoru was getting good at this. It would have been nice to get a chance at fixing things with Suguru, but miracles had long since left Satoru’s list of possibilities.
~~
These days, no one asked Megumi what he was scribbling anymore, because everyone knew it was a song. Except that it wasn’t a song, it was a poem, but why would he tell anyone the truth? The fact that he was writing it, because he didn’t know any other way to say I love you, was perfectly fine to be a secret.
Volleyball had become their staple of this summer. Even though Megumi was hardly playing, he liked to hang out in the Itadoris’ backyard, usually under a beach umbrella, sipping on anything they had to drink that day.
With a straw between his lips, taking a sip of lemonade with ice, Megumi had his notebook between his legs, scribbling away lines he could use.
“We’re supposed to sing that ?”
Alarmed, Megumi jumped and shut the notebook. Nobara somehow sneaked around and looked over his shoulder. Megumi must have been in a nice flow not to notice the intrusion.
“No,” he said, then resorted to a lie. “It’s a rough draft.”
She took a seat next to him, frowning. “Since when are you making rough drafts of our songs?” She brought her fist against her lips in what must have been a thinking-pose. Successful, unfortunately. “Are you writing a poem for your boyfriend?”
“Keep it to yourself.”
“So you are. What’s in it?”
“Don’t be nosy.” Just in case, Megumi stretched his legs and put the notebook under his bare legs. Nobara’s gay ass wouldn’t come anywhere near any part of Megumi that was remotely naked. “I’m just working on… something.”
Just then, he set his eyes on the match. A makeshift net between the teams, each team of two people. Yuji and Yuta against Sukuna and Maki.
“Stop being horny when I'm next to you,” Nobara said.
“I'm not.”
“Uncurl your toes, then we'll talk.”
“Why the hell are you looking at my toes? Feet fetish?” He did, in fact, have to uncurl his toes, because all the volleyball was going straight into Yuji's muscles, and because it was hot, he was shirtless, and Megumi was just a teenage boy.
A teenage boy with feelings he couldn't keep up with sometimes.
“Have you…”
“What?” Nobara urged. “Don't leave me hanging now that you started.”
“You and Maki. Have you…”
“Have we had sex? Of course we-”
“I really don't need to know that.” Megumi sighed. “Did you tell her you love her?”
Nobara was silent for unusually long. “Can we talk about sex instead?”
Megumi frowned at her, still conscious about the notebook under his thighs. “Why don't you wanna talk about the I love yous?”
“Because.” She rolled her eyes, then threw her head back. “Because I said it embarrassingly fast, okay? Like, two weeks in and I was already saying it. Why are you forcing me into such confessions?”
“I’m just wondering when it’s considered not too early.”
“Megumi,” she said in a warning tone. His given name wasn’t usually her first choice either. “Don’t tell me you’re giving into some societal norms.”
“Ah, right.” Megumi relaxed a little. “The timing of the I love yous has been affected by societal expectations. So I’m overthinking it for nothing.”
He was, in fact, overthinking it for nothing, while he should have been listening to his heart instead.
“I’m just not sure if I’m… capable of actually saying it,” he muttered, pulling the notebook out. “So I’ve been writing a poem, yeah. But… maybe it’s too much.”
“Why a poem?"
“He’s got the first one framed next to his bed. I figured he liked it.”
“Can I see what you got or do I have to pry that notebook out of your hands?”
Megumi made a disgusted face at the idea of having to wrestle in this temperature, and he knew Nobara would do just that, so he handed her the notebook and reached for his glass with lemonade.
Nobara scanned the text with a crease between her eyebrows. “You’re awfully sappy, Fushiguro.”
“I know, right?” Megumi sipped lemonade. “I get like this sometimes ever since we started dating.”
Nobara scoffed, back to his poem.
“Fushiguro.”
“What?”
“Are you in love?”
Megumi sighed. “I thought that was pretty obvious.”
“You’re doing well with that thing.” She handed him back the notebook. “Get a little sappier, though. I think Yuji would like that.”
“Really?”
“He’s like a dog at your feet. And dogs love when you pet them, praise them, love them.”
“This is a weird comparison.”
“But it’s true!”
Megumi ignored the further attempts at being convinced, laid his eyes on the volleyball match again and sipped the rest of the lemonade. The dog comparison was weird, but getting sappier in the poem was not a bad idea.
~~
Yuji had a full year ahead of himself, but he was already starting to think about what he’d do when the whole ‘gap year’ was over. The list of ideas was blank, unlike another list Yuji was working on. Yes, Yuji started making lists.
‘Future’ list (blank paper was staring at him from the side) and also ‘when and how to say the l-word’ list (as Yuji scribbled endlessly on this one). Future could have waited, even if it was never leaving his mind. The l-word could not wait.
The list was full of places, ways, lines, phrases, times. Yuji knew them by heart, in case he needed to react quickly.
At the hussle at the door, Yuji stuffed the list he always had on himself into the pocket of his shorts. Megumi was leaving his house, arguing about something with his dad, frowning and rolling his eyes.
“I am not a babysitter, and you promised you’d stop with this,” was the last thing Megumi said, silencing his dad for good. Shaking his head, he walked up to Yuji and naturally fell into a hello-peck. “He’s going insane again.”
“What kinda insane?”
“ Make sure Tsumiki behaves kinda insane. We’re gonna have to have a long conversation about it again.”
Yuji slipped his arm around Megumi’s waist. “Cut him some slack. He’s trying.”
“I don’t want us to go back to how things were after Geto left.”
“Hey, no way. As long as you talk. Isn’t that what didn’t work before?”
“Because talking is wonderfully easy.” Megumi rolled his eyes, then sighed. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be taking it out on you. I’m just… I’m scared.”
“It’s okay.” Yuji moved his hand up, ruffling Megumi’s hair before settling his arm around Megumi’s shoulders. “I know you’re worried. Things get better or worse, but you’re all trying. I mean, it can’t get that bad if you’re trying together. ”
Megumi relaxed a little. Then his lips stretched into a soft smile. “You know, I wish you’d met Geto. He’d like you.”
Maybe one day popped into Yuji’s mind at first, but he couldn’t say that. It would have been cruel, setting up hope for something that might not happen. Just because he was optimistic, and never crossed out a possibility until he was sure it was out of question, didn’t mean Megumi would appreciate the same sentiment.
Megumi would not. He’d get caught up in the ‘maybe’; in the worst case scenario, he’d start hoping, and the uncertainty would crush him.
Yuji, as much as he wished for the fabled Geto-san to make a miraculous comeback, loved Megumi too much to do that.
“Do you have his pictures?” Yuji asked instead. “You talk about him, but I can never picture his face when you do.”
Megumi hummed. One hand reached into his pocket, the other one catching Yuji’s fingers that hung over Megumi’s shoulder.
“I do, of course,” Megumi said. “I mean, I only have, like, weird pictures of him and dad doing weird shit.”
Truthfully, all the photos Megumi showed were candid shots of both his dads during ‘family times’. More romantic ones during dinners and the weird ones, during games and whatnot.
“Your dads are attractive.”
Megumi smacked his shoulder for that.
“Just saying.” Yuji chuckled. “Would it be too much to make a point of how… in love they look?”
Megumi sighed. “No, I guess not. They were.”
Were. It sounded so much sadder when Megumi was saying it. Megumi’s struggles were Yuji’s just as much, and sometimes Yuji’s mind wandered there, too. He didn’t know much about Megumi’s parents, yet, there was still so much to learn, but he wondered what happened, too, as if to not let Megumi do it all alone.
I love you. This very moment, it pressed against Yuji’s lips again, so ready to come out. I love you so you don’t have to search for the answers you know you won’t find all alone.
And then suddenly it was not the right moment.
Megumi had just said his parents were in love. They had been in love once, they were not anymore. If Yuji dropped the l-word all of a sudden, wouldn’t Megumi doubt him?
Or maybe Megumi was doubting him? Maybe his parents weren’t saying it enough? Maybe his parents were saying it too much ?
Ah, fuck. Why were there so many possibilities?
Fuck it, I’ll say it. We’ll see what happens.
He was opening his mouth to let the words out. He’d figure everything out after he said it, not before. He was just about to say it. Seriously.
“Is that Sukuna?” Megumi asked as they reached the park they were supposed to meet everyone in.
The perfect moment was crushed, because it obviously was. Yuji was about to heave the heaviest sigh known to men when he noticed the scene ahead, his twin brother destroying three bald-headed guys.
Yuji sighed, for an entirely new reason. “The hell is he doing? Someone’s gonna call the cops again.”
Megumi made a surprise sound. “Again?”
Yuji grabbed his hand, pulling him further into the park. “You remember the rumor about me and juvenile detention, and how I told you it was actually my brother? Yeah, he did just that.” Yuji pointed at the fight. “In broad daylight, in the middle of the city, and then proceeded to threaten whoever he was fighting. It was a mess. He had to be tested for psychological problems. Anyway, give me a second.”
There was no point reasoning with his brother in a moment like that. Yuji, luckily, knew his twin best, and knew exactly how to end this fight.
By joining it.
The sooner it would end, the better, and Sukuna wasn’t going to stop until all three of them were lying on the ground. Yuji sneaked up on them, swinging his arm around one of the bald heads, arm tight around his neck, pulling him back.
The guy went slack in his grip - only unconscious, no worries - so Yuji dropped him and threw a punch at another one. At the same time, Sukuna was cracking knuckles of the third one, making him cry out in pain, trying to scramble out of the grip.
“O-oh, shit, I’m seeing double,” mumbled the guy Yuji just hit across the face, blinking furiously. Yuji realized, then, that Sukuna wasn’t defending himself. All this time, he was the one keeping the fight going, while these three were trying to escape.
The guy Yuji hit grabbed the free hand of the broken-knuckles and pulled him back, making them both run.
“Hey, dickheads! You lost a friend!” Sukuna yelled behind them. They ran back, barely stopping as they hauled the unconscious one up and bolted.
Yuji glared at Sukuna. “Seriously? In broad daylight? Again ?”
Sukuna sniffled, wiping a bit of blood off his face. It might have not even been his. “Pissed me off.”
“What the hell even happened?” asked Megumi, now joining them, giving Yuji the same kinda look. Seriously? Yuji gave him an apologetic smile.
“Nevermind,” Sukuna grumbled. “Come on. I’m not alone.”
Yuji and Megumi exchanged glances, and followed him further down the path, Kugisaki, Maki, Tsumiki and Urame cramped on one bench. Todo standing next to them.
“Oh, look. Your sister just joined,” Sukuna mumbled, clearly still pissed off after the fight.
Yuji pointed at Kugisaki. “You know what happened, don't you?”
“Pity you weren't there to see it.” Kugisaki grins. “I mean, we joined when he was already starting to get violent, pushing them around and shit.”
“Whatever. I was in a fight. Who cares?” Sukuna rolled his eyes, swiftly moving to the side of the bench where Uraume was sitting. Yuji was starting to put the puzzle pieces together.
Urame was crossing arms on their chest. “And you didn't let me join.”
Sukuna lifted their arm. “You're a twig. I'd look away, and they'd break your bones.”
“But it was my fight.”
“Whatever.”
Later, after Yuta and Inumaki joined them, they set off to find something to do. In a way, it was a goodbye sort of meeting. Summer was ending. Tsumiki was leaving for college in Osaka. Maki was starting a part-time job alongside the band, but Kugisaki was going to uni - for the plot, you know? Yuta and Inumaki were both off to college, but, just like Kugisaki, in Tokyo. Todo along with Yuji and Sukuna was doing a gap year, the three of them equally clueless about the future.
Yuji waited for the perfect moment to strike. Not with the l-word, this time. This time it was about his brother.
“I know what’s up,” he said, voice borderline mischievous. He caught Sukuna on the side of a skatepark they found themselves in. Tsumiki, Maki, Kugisaki, Yuta and Inumaki got tangled with the seasoned skaters, learning how to move on a skateboard. Megumi, Uraume and Todo - exceptionally strange group - were on the side, watching Kugisaki crash for the millionth time, commenting and teasing.
Sukuna frowned at him, but they were twins, so words were hardly necessary. “No, you don’t.”
“Oh, but I do. I am your twin. I know you better than you think.” Yuji smiled, all smug. Oh, he was so smug. This was a historical moment. His brooding twin brother catching feelings. Some sort of feelings, Yuji didn’t work out what they were exactly yet.
Sukuna glared. “Shut. Up.”
“So it is like that?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Hmm, let’s see. How about… three assholes bothering your ‘friend’ earlier, and you jumping in to… wait, what would that be… protect them?” Yuji was having so much fun with that. Oh, he was waiting for that moment his whole life.
“Don’t you dare say a single fucking word to anyone about it.”
“I won’t.” Yuji smiled. “But I know . ”
Sukuna sighed. “Can you shut up?”
“I will.” Yuji kept smiling. “But I know .”
“You’re so fucking annoying.” Sukuna huffed, pushing Yuji’s shoulder. After a moment of silence, he added, “I don’t even understand it. But… uh… yeah. Something’s there. I guess.”
Yuji laughed, swinging an arm around his shoulders. “Good luck figuring it out, asshole.”
“Just shut the fuck up already.”
“Whatever. I’m going to learn that shit.” Yuji pointed down to where Yuta was doing somewhat good on the skateboard.
“Break a leg.”
Yuji sighed. “I wish you weren’t serious.”
He caught on quickly. Skateboarding was cool, and it was fun, and it wasn’t as difficult. Yuji went for the more spectacular moves right away, having one of the guys, Noritoshi, teach him a trick because the whole point was to show off.
“Hey, Megumi!”
Megumi looked at him like he was begging him not to do it.
Yuji smiled wider, sometimes enough of a menace to enjoy it when his love was embarrassing Megumi. “This one’s for you.”
‘This one’ was supposed to be a cool trick that just a few moments ago was going well. ‘This one’ ended up being Yuji falling off a rail and catching it between his legs.
In the painful haze, he caught Sukuna calling out to Megumi. “You sure he’s the twin that you want?”
Yuji lifted his hand and flipped Sukuna off.
He was surely not dropping the l-word today.
~~
Sukuna sat on the balcony of his room - he won this room in a fight, fair and square, when they were four, moving into this house - away from everyone hanging out in the backyard. Almost everyone, because Uraume was with him, sharing a pack of cigarettes in silence.
Sukuna had feelings, obviously. He wasn’t a machine, he felt things, some of them less pleasant than the others. But just because he had feelings in general didn’t mean all of them were easy to understand.
Or accept.
They weren’t. That’s why sometimes he didn’t know how to act around his brothers except for getting in a fight. That’s why he sorta ran away from home for a week when their old man died. He did tell Choso where he was, because Choso was going to find and decapitate him otherwise, but he couldn’t stay at home. That’s why he spent over a year fucking people, hurting people, hurting himself more than he realized in the process.
He didn’t understand what those current feelings were. He wasn’t that eager to find it out either. They were terrifying. Those thoughts, like, I’d be fine if they were around for the rest of my life. Like, what the fuck was that supposed to be?
They met mere months ago. Two. What the fuck was Sukuna doing, planning fucking wedding vows?
At the same time, though, someone would need to kill him and take his dead body away if he was ever to stop spending time with Uraume. If he was to stop dropping his hand on top of their surprisingly soft hair that always smelled nice. If he was to stop hanging around his kitchen as Uraume made another five-star dish. If they were to stop shit-talking literally every single thing that pissed them off.
Sukuna stole a glance. Uraume was so different from anyone Sukuna had ever gone for, but he was never with anyone for the things he was feeling now. He was in it for a good ass or for a blowjob that sometimes was better than average. Underneath what was visible, he was in it for a distraction and to hammer in the self-hatred he’d forgotten by now, for the most part.
None of that had ever come close to what he was feeling now.
“Hey,” Uraume called out, voice lined with excitement. “You have that zombie game we were talking about?”
Sukuna let the smoke out and put the cigarette out. “I think so.”
He had the game, and although the disc was scratched from how many times he and Yuji used it, and the PS was old and equally well-used, the zombie game worked just fine. They settled on the couch with two controllers, having to guess which button did what because all the markings were wiped off after years of being thumbed.
Ten minutes later, none of that mattered to Sukuna. It might have been a survival game, but to Uraume it clearly was a ‘kill all the zombies’ game, or rather ‘annihilate all the zombies’. They were in multiplayer, but Sukuna had to stop running his character for a moment, getting a little caught up in the sight next to him.
He’d never seen anyone this happy to kill 3D zombies. No, that’s not why he paused. Why was he smiling? Why was it so warm in his chest? Was he… oh good fuck, was he blushing? And, most importantly, why did all of it feel so nice?
“They’re about to chop your head off.”
Sukuna turned back to the TV screen, half-assing the game as he pressed his lips together, fighting off a smile. Failing. Failing really hard, but trying nonetheless.
On the other hand, if it felt that good, what was the point of naming it or worrying about it? It sneaked into his life, it was already there, and he wasn’t necessarily eager to get rid of it. It was there, and he was fine with it, whether he knew what to call it or not. Whether it was platonic or more. Whether it was going to grow or not.
Sure, a little scary, but he wasn’t a fucking toddler. He could handle being scared of feeling so fucking right for a little while.
~~
September was warm, and Megumi had convinced his dad to leave the pool active for a bit longer. Tonight, finally, they were having not only a sleepover, but also an entire house to themselves, and a whole day to spend alone.
Yuij was so grateful. Not that he didn’t like hanging out with everyone, but alone with Megumi was his favorite time.
“I trust you both to be smart,” Megumi’s dad had said in the morning, a finger flying between them. “I’m going to Kyoto to have a sort of reunion with old acquaintances. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Megumi frowned at him from his chair at the patio where he was drinking an iced coffee. “Since when are you strict with us ?”
Gojo-san paused for a moment, then looked away. “I’ve been a bit stressed recently. That’s why.”
“Stressed about what?” Megumi asked.
“Well… with Tsumiki leaving for college, and with the reunion…”
Megumi hummed. “I get it. Go, relax. You don’t have to worry about us.”
“I know.” He sighed. Ruffling their hair, he gave them a smile, a little bit forced in Yuji’s eyes. “Have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Yuji watched him leave, the obvious uncertainty in his every move.
“Geto won’t be there,” Megumi said then. “That’s why it stresses him out.”
“They worked together?”
“Not really,” Megumi said. “When dad was an MMA fighter, Geto was a doctor. He worked with aunt Shoko. They didn’t work together officially, but apparently, dad would run with every injury to the two of them.”
They spent the day doing nothing. Most of the time, they’d cuddle on Megumi’s bed, watching things on his laptop. From YouTube videos to movies. If they didn’t do it, they cuddled in silence, Yuij’s head on Megumi’s chest all day long. Except for when they were eating.
And except for when Megumi decided, after it had gotten dark, that he wanted to swim.
“Now?” Yuij raised his eyebrows. “It’s gonna be cold.”
Megumi tilted his head, opening the first button of the soft, oversized dress shirt he’d been wearing today. “You can stay here. Your call. I’m going.”
Yes, because Yuji had such strong self-restraint that he’d stay away when his boyfriend was in the pool- no, he had none of that. He’d never gotten undressed so fast, actually.
It all started when Yuji jumped into the water, splashing it all around himself, mostly at Megumi. Megumi retaillated. They splashed, chased each other, pulling underwater and splashing some more.
They started laughing at a particularly skillful splash that Megumi sent at him, catching him square in the face. Why they were still laughing Yuji didn’t know, but he didn’t really need to know. At some point, everything became funny, simply because Yuji was happy.
He laughed because he was happy, and he was happy that he had someone he could laugh with like that. He was so happy, his heart was swelling. It was that sort of feeling that always made him pull Megumi into a kiss, because he wasn’t able to handle those feelings alone.
There was no kissing now, because Yuji had to spit the water out of his mouth after getting dragged underwater.
And Megumi- Megumi, with his wet hair pushed back, had never smiled like that at Yuji. In the middle of the pool, in the backyard that was always lit up with various light bulbs and light strings, Megumi’s smile was nothing but pure joy.
And it was the most beautiful thing Yuji had ever seen, and–
“Yuji.”
There was so little space between them, and Yuji traced the drops of water trickling down Megumi’s face, and the twinkle dancing in his eyes. “Yeah?”
Megumi’s smile softened just a little bit. “I love you.”
Yuji gasped, his heart going still for a moment. “No!”
Megumi blinked. “No?”
“No, oh my God!” Yuji would have jumped if he wasn’t in the water. “It’s… ugh, it’s has to be the right moment and-”
“But I love you in every moment,” Megumi cut him off. Yuji's breath caught in his throat. “What’s the difference when I say it?” He looked down, huffing a small laugh. “I wasn’t even going to say it, you know? I was… well, I was writing a little… poem, I guess. Like the first one. But I just… I really needed to say it now.”
A poem. A love poem. For Yuji.
Yuji loved, loved, loved Megumi’s words. Whether spoken out loud, written into a song or into a poem, everything he said was always doing something to Yuji. A love poem, though, would have killed him.
He held Megumi’s cheeks and pressed their lips together. “I was going to say it, but the moment was never right. I mean… I suppose you’re right. In that case, every moment is always right, but then which one was perfect-”
“Yuji.”
Yuji shut his mouth and took a deep breath in. The right moment be damned.
He huffed a laugh. “I love you, too. I really do, it’s… it’s overwhelming sometimes. Just how much. And how quickly it came over me.”
Megumi kissed him, then, smiling into it, slinging his arms and legs around Yuji. “I’m getting cold.”
“Hm, you don’t say. But if we get out of here, I want to see that poem.”
“I was going to give it to you regardless.”
~~
Megumi showed Yuji the poem after they dried and changed into sleeping clothes. They climbed into Megumi’s bed, and Yuji finally got his hands on another poem he would frame.
“It’s not really finished yet,” Megumi said. “I was working on the last bit when you were playing volleyball, and got distracted. Besides, I just… Well, just read it.”
Settle my eyes on you every day,
Fall in love over and over again.
I wouldn’t have it any other way,
As I’m a boy, when I become a man.
I know that we’re young and have so much time
To make vows that promise all the big things,
But there’s no one else in this world that I
Would rather welcome with all our springs.
Somehow it is tough to put into words
What you mean to me and the way I feel,
So I hope that I show all of my cards
In -
“I couldn’t find the words,” Megumi said. Yuji did not care one bit. This was more than enough. This was a lot, already feeling like the big promises they had all the time in the world for.
“What were you going to say there?” Yuji asked.
“That I hope that you realize that I love you even when I don’t say it,” Megumi said. “And also that we’re young and feelings like that scare me, but I’m alright with that because it’s worth it.”
Yuji did the only thing he could do with the words swirling in his head, which was throw his arms around Megumi and tackle him to the bed, letting out a content sigh when his head rested on Megumi’s shoulder.
“I’m framing that one, too.”
“Can I at least finish it?”
“Don’t,” Yuji muttered, his fingers finding a way to tangle in Megumi’s hair. “It’s kinda poetic, you know. Like… the rest is just for me, not even for the world to see.”
Megumi huffed a laugh. “If you interpret it like that.”
~~
Most lights were off as Yuji and Megumi sat on the couch, 2am on the clock, Fast & Furious marathon on the TV. Neither of them were particularly fond of the franchise, and Megumi had a lot to complain about, but the more he complained, the funnier they both found it.
At 2am was also when the door opened, then quietly closed, as Sukuna finally came back.
Not alone, but with Uraume - obviously, it was no longer a surprise to anyone. Uraume basically lived with them at this point. Or rather, he was carrying Uraume - asleep and wrapped around Sukuna - on his back. He stopped at the door to the living room, locking eyes with Yuji and Megumi, who never missed a chance to tease.
“Not a single fucking word,” Sukuna muttered, heading to his room. There was a side of Yuji that wanted to keep teasing, and a side of him that was simply happy to see his brother happier.
“Okay, loverboy,” Yuji mumbled, dropping his head onto Megumi’s shoulder.