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The rhythm of their encounters was established from that first night they slept together, when Stolas proposed a scene and Blitz's curiosity and guilty conscience did not allow him to leave without trying a little of what the prince had to offer between the sheets, barely stopping to agree on the most basic of safe words.
For the most part Blitz didn't even mind Stolas surprising him with a cutscene without warning, especially since the owl prince generally didn't throw him any difficult curveballs to overcome. Stolas liked giving up power, feeling helpless, the illusion that he was powerless and could receive what he wanted without experiencing guilt. And Blitz liked that. He liked it a lot even when he denied it or complained.
There was an almost reverent feeling as Stolas placed himself at his disposal, allowing Blitz to disarm him, push him to the edge, and push his limits again and again. Even if Stolas was only doing it for the fantasy of getting dirty with an imp he was trusting him and that was something Blitz tried to protect despite all of his past mistakes.
This time, Blitz felt furious, almost... hurt . He wanted to believe it was the emotional whiplash he received from thinking he had failed M&M and Loonie (again). Thinking that he only had ONE task and had spectacularly screwed up without realizing it had been painful and humiliating, a desperation that made him want to throw himself off the balcony, but realizing that it was a twisted fantasy was cruel .
Blitz hadn't realized that Stolas could be cruel , playing with his emotions so carelessly wasn't something he had worried about before.
But he must have imagined it.
Striker wasn't completely wrong, in fact, if it hadn't been Stolas and he hadn't hurt M&M, he even felt like agreeing with him some days, especially on the bad days where Stolas writing to him, not horny but curious, fucked with his feelings. and the barrier he had erected to prevent him from making his old mistakes again. The business between them was pleasure, anything else outside of that was off limits.
(No matter how good it had felt for a moment to hear Stolas say that he cared so deeply.)
It was cruel of Stolas to dangle in front of him the illusion of something he only realized he wanted when he heard Stolas say it. If Blitz had been more naive even he would have believed it, instead he crushed hope under his heel with decisive fury.
“Oh, Stolas.” She moved closer to the bed, forcing her feelings to boil into a slow rage instead of exploding and lashing out. “I'll stay with you. I love you a lot. "I,,," his words still sounded mocking to his own ears, unable to properly enter the role that a part of him wanted and that Stolas had so carelessly thrown at him, as if Blitz were a robot to be programmed. and give orders. As if he didn't have his own feelings and opinion on this.
He didn't see Stols' face fall and he didn't see him close his eyes in pain. He only realized that Stolas had been sincere when he stopped everything completely.
And then all finally exploded.
Stolas felt his heart splinter and break into hundreds of pieces. It was a pain he had been preparing for all day, his anxiety over this development pushing him to vomit more than once, but he had still dared to hope, to think that perhaps the most unlikely outcome would be possible.
He was an idiot. He should have known better.
How could Stolas, who saw the future in the stars, who identified patterns, and who navigated the currents of destiny, think for a second that he was destined for anything other than loneliness?
And yet, it hurt, it hurt more than anything Stella had ever said to hear Bltzy…no, Blitz, mocking her so casually, taking her honest words and twisting them into a game. Knowing that Blitz could only imagine that Stolas loved him like a bedroom game that would end with sunlight was destroying him from the inside out.
And apparently something Blitz could never give him.
“Thank you, Blitz,” he cut off the horrible words when Blitz approached him with what seemed like the intention of kissing him. Stolas raised his hand. If Blitz kissed him he was going to vomit. That was not a kiss he wanted, a kiss contaminated by the poison of falsehood, a lie of what Stolas longed for most in the world “to wake me up, to make me… so happy, even for a little while. I wish you the best in your business.”
To love was to let go, even when you didn't want to, even when it hurt. To love was to wish happiness for your loved one, even when it came at the cost of your own happiness. To love was to love even when the other person could not love you as you wish.
Stolas love Blitz.
And the time had come to let him go.
Even if he left with most of his heart.