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It is two in the morning and Jeongin is holding Hyunjin’s wrists tightly above her head, body hovering over her. The end of her nightgown is still touching her ankles, keeping her covered up. She fights against Jeongin’s hold playfully, hoping to write this off as nothing more than a bad dream.
But Jeongin—
She’s never seen him this angry.
“Did you think this is a game?” He whispers.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Innie.” She pushes against his hold. Her hair fans out across her face and the pillow under her head.
“You come into my room,” he starts, “and you try and touch me.”
“I,” Hyunjin gulps, “I had a bad dream.”
“Bullshit.” Jeongin settles his weight on top of her, pinning her body to the mattress.
“You’re my boyfriend,” she tries again, “you’re supposed to comfort me.”
“I can only comfort so much,” Jeongin replies, “when I’m not allowed to touch.”
“You can touch me,” she says, “you’re touching me right now.” She wiggles her fingers against his hold.
Jeongin scoffs. “You know exactly what I mean.”
“We aren’t supposed to,” Hyunjin gulps.
“Supposed to this, supposed to that,” he rolls his eyes. “I could make you feel so good,” he says, “but you don’t let me.” He hums. “What’s the point of having a girlfriend, if I can’t fuck you?”
“Jeonginnie—“
“You think I don’t notice, noona,” he cuts her off, “how you look at me during Mass. How you look at me during CCD. How your hands always touch my thigh.”
Hyunjin gulps. She didn’t think he was so observant.
“Love is patient,” Jeongin says, “and I have been so, so, so, patient, noona. I’ve been so, so, so, good.”
“Y-You have,” Hyunjin agrees. She licks her lips. “You should let me go. S-So I can go back to the couch.”
Jeongin tsks. “So you can wait for me to sleep again, and then come into my room, and feel me up.” He laughs. “Can barely look at me in church, or hold my hand in public, but you want to weasel your way into my bed. You want to touch me just as bad.”
“That’s not true.”
“My mom says you’re a Jezebel,” Jeongin retorts, “just a whore trying to turn me away from God.”
Hyunjin pushes against his hold. Jeongin is so much stronger than her.
“I don’t believe that though,” he continues. He takes his free hand and gropes her over her nightgown. His big hands cup her breast, thumb running over her nipple, making it peak under her shirt. He softly traces the necklaces she wears, one a silver rosary, the other a thick chain holding a pendant of Jesus on the cross. “I think you’re a test.”
“A test,” Hyunjin’s mouth forms the word. Her throat is so dry. She needs water.
“A God-given test.” Jeongin smiles, squeezes her breast again.
“D-Don’t touch me,” she whispers. “Not there.”
“Why not?” He asks. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it, noona? I bet you pray for it. Ask me for forgiveness.”
“N-No, no, Jeongin—please—“
“Shut up,” he says, lifting his body off Hyunjin’s and hiking her nightgown up to her armpits. exposing her belly and breasts to the cold air. Her nipples peak, gooseflesh rising on her skin. Her necklaces clink where they knock together. “You come into my room, you try to touch me,” Jeongin laughs. His tone is harsh. His gaze is unforgiving.
He cups her cunt over his panties, fingers pressing against the fabric. Hyunjin knows she’s wet. She’s been wet since the moment she came into Jeongin’s room. She shouldn’t have done this, shouldn’t have tried to stop her restless mind by wanting something she has no business wanting.
“Oh, noona, you’re soooo dirty.” Jeongin presses a flat palm to Hyunjin’s cunt, grinding the heel of his hand against her mound. “So wet already, so slutty.” He presses down again. “You better be quiet,” he says sharply, “or you’ll wake up my neighbors.”
Hyunjin fights against Jeongin’s hold, to no avail. He rips her panties off, throwing them to the side of the bed. Hyunjin tries to clamp her legs shut but Jeongin is already between them, body keeping her open. He squeezes her harder. She can feel the bones in her wrist grind together.
“Thoughts and prayers,” Jeongin chuckles. He swipes two fingers against her folds, “I wonder what Father would say, if he saw his best girl laid out like this. If he knew how much of a whore you really were.”
“I’m,” Hyunjin struggles, “I’m not.”
“Yes you are.” Jeongin slaps her thigh. It jiggles under the pressure. “Only whores come into their boyfriend’s bedroom, and try to feel him up while he’s asleep.”
Hyunjin’s eyes water. She feels so exposed. “That’s not what I was doing—“
“Don’t deny it,” Jeongin reprimands, “you’ve been teasing me for years.” He runs his index and middle finger against her folds again, just grazing her entrance. Jeongin barely touches her there before she clams up, cunt tightening and hips locking. She tries to close her legs but Jeongin blocks her again. Hyunjin can barely see in front of her face.
“N-Not teasing,” she pleads, “I just want to be close to you. Close to my boyfriend.”
Jeongin’s laugh is wholly cruel. “I wanna be close to my girlfriend, too.” He pushes one finger inside her. Hyunjin is so wet—she wouldn’t be surprised if she was soaking the bed beneath.
“In church, you’re so prim and proper. But no one knows you like I do.”
Hyunjin squirms against Jeongin’s digit. It feels so big inside. Her breathing is erratic, spots dance across her vision.
“J-Jeongin, Innie, please don’t—don’t do this. You know I ha-have to, have to stay—“ she hiccups her words.
“Stay what, baby?” He curls his finger upwards, against her g-spot. “Stay virginal?”
Hyunjin closes her eyes and looks away, ashamed.
“It’s amazing how no man has ever gotten his way with you yet,” Jeongin removes his finger and wipes it on her inner thigh. Her skin is sensitive. She ripples against his touch. “No one’s ever seen you naked, no one’s ever touched your cunt, no one’s ever fucked you.”
He grabs at her body, like she’s nothing more than a plaything. His hands spread her legs wider, palms pushing her knees up and back, putting her cunt fully on display. “I’m gonna be the first,” Jeongin whispers.
Hyunjin feels white-hot pain settle in her gut, when she realizes what Jeongin plans to do.
“No, no, no, no, no!” She begs, voice going up a few octaves.
“Shush, bitch,” Jeongin chastises, “my neighbors go to our church. You’ll have to explain to them why you were in my bed. Why you were coming onto me. Maybe everyone should know, don’t you think?”
Hyunjin’s bottom lip wobbles. Jeongin’s right. The shame bleeds something awful inside her, thick like tar in her veins.
Jeongin lets go of her wrist and grabs at her breasts, kneading them between his hands. He gropes her, touching her all over. Hyunjin has no ability to move away. “I’m only taking what I deserve,” he shrugs, “only taking what’s mine.”
“Th-this isn’t yours.”
Jeongin’s fingers move back to her cunt, spreading her open, inspecting. He stares at her, licking his lips. Jeongin’s got a crazed look in his eye. Borderline demonic. “You don’t know how much I’ve dreamt of this,” he whispers, eyes on her pussy, “how much I’ve prayed to God, asking him for a taste.”
Hyunjin thrashes against the bed, Jeongin presses his thumb against her clit. The sensation knocks her down a peg, ecstasy flooding her body. “I imagined what you’d sound like under me.” He flicks his thumb. “Imagined how you’d squirm.” He presses his fingers deep inside her. “Imagined how you’d beg me to stop.” He swivels his fingers, forcing a third one into her cunt.
“A-Ah, Innie, th-those aren’t good thoughts.”
“But I have them,” he shrugs, nonchalant. “And I keep having them.”
She gasps under his ministrations. Hyunjin feels so violated under his gaze.
“T-Tell me about them,” she whispers, trying to distract him.
“They’re just like this,” he says sweetly, “just me and your virgin cunt. Me doing whatever I want. Me fucking you how I want. Me treating you like the stupid bitch you are.” He smiles and smiles and smiles. His fingers are hard. His eyes are harder. Pitch black empty voids. Hyunjin can’t move even if she tried.
“Y-You should—stop, please,” she begs, “please, please, stop.”
“But why?” Jeongin swirls his thumb over her clit. “You’re so wet. You want it just as bad as I do.”
“Not like this,” she whimpers.
“It’s a sin to deny the man of your life anything.” Jeongin’s voice is sharp.
“You are not the man of my li—“
He plunges three fingers inside her. Painful. Hyunjin winces. “Oh,” he snorts, “and Jesus is?”
She lets out a scattered breath, wipes the sweat from her cheeks. It beads at her hairline, falling into her long hair. She wants to cry. She wants to sleep.
She wants to die.
“How am I gonna fit my cock in here?” Jeongin hums. He wiggles his fingers around, exploratory, as if checking to see if her hymen is still intact. Hyunjin feels that growing sensation in her gut. That guilty pleasure.
“Noona,” Jeongin asks softly, “have you ever touched yourself before?”
She looks away, closes her eyes. Disgust. Shame. Embarrassment. Hyunjin touches herself with her fingers, to the thoughts of her wonderful boyfriend filling her up. But only ever at night. She washes her hands in the dark, or uses the wipes she keeps on her nightstand. She can’t look at herself in the mirror after what she’s done. The lights have to stay off.
Protected under the cover of darkness, no reflection, and no time to ponder how guilty it makes her feel.
“I asked you a question,” Jeongin stops moving his hand. Unbidden, she lets out a horrible, shameful whine.
“Y-Yes,” she admits, “I have.”
“You think of me.” Not a question.
Hyunjin can only nod her head. Jeongin removes his fingers from her cunt, sucking his index and middle finger into his mouth, tasting her.
That’s what she was doing on his couch—touching herself. Imagining he was fucking her, imagining he was eating her out, imagining, imagining. She just wanted to spoon her boyfriend. She just wanted to hold him close to her body. Hyunjin chokes out a whine. She didn’t want this.
Jeongin looks at her with a knowing gaze, as if he can read right through her. He fingers her again, four stuffed inside her cunt, thumb balanced and rolling on her clit.
“I wanna see you cum,” he whispers, “I wonder if girls like you have ever cum before.”
“G-Girls like me?” It takes all her willpower not to grind against his fingers. Not to give in to this shame.
“Uptight, high-strung, tightly wound,” Jeongin says. He curls his fingers again, pressing against her g-spot. “Stupidly vulnerable, eager to please. You just want to be good right, noona? Isn’t that all you pray for? I’ve read your diary.”
Hyunjin feels the tears well up again, and this time she can’t swallow them back down. “N-No one is supposed to read that!” She cries out, “it’s private.”
“You’re begging for a real man to fuck you,” Jeongin laughs, “I’m your boyfriend. I’m only giving you what you want.” He shrugs.
“Not like this,” she begs, “I wa-want to be married. I want to be—“ she tries to close her legs again. “Just wait ‘til we’re married.”
Jeongin rolls his eyes. “I might as well wait for the glaciers to melt for a frigid bitch like you to let me stick it in.” He’s so crude. So vulgar. This isn’t the Jeongin she knows, not the Jeongin she cares so much about.
He slaps her across the chest when she tries to close her legs again. The sting makes her let out a low moan.
“The next one will be across your face if you can’t shut up,” he growls. “I’m doing this for us.”
Jeongin reaches over and flicks the lamp at his bedside table on, casting them both in a gentle orange glow.
“Turn it off, please,” she begs. She doesn’t want to see his face or her own body like this.
“I want to see you.” Jeongin pushes his sweatpants down to his knees, exposing his cock to the cold air of his bedroom. Hyunjin’s never seen a dick in real life before. Jeongin’s cock is plump, thicker than his three fingers, red at the tip and oozing precum. Hyunjin thinks his dick is big, though she has no frame of reference to compare it to. She shudders, spine tingling. Her mouth waters at the sight, brain full of cotton. Saliva pooling against her teeth. She feels herself getting wetter, just staring at his cock. Shame overtakes her. Imagining what it would feel like inside her. She struggles against his hold. She doesn’t—doesn’t—
“I bet your pussy will feel so tight around me,” Jeongin grabs his dick with one hand, removing the other from her pussy and placing it like a vice grip around her waist. She knows in the back of her mind she could kick him off, but her limbs refuse to move. She’s frozen to the bed, helplessly and shamefully watching Jeongin pump his cock between her legs.
He drags the head of his cock against her folds, rubbing it up and down and up and down, rhythmic. He bumps the head against her clit. Hyunjin moans wantonly, before Jeongin slaps her again.
“I said you better be fucking quiet.”
Warmth fills her gut as Jeongin does it again. He digs the head of his cock against her clit, swirling it around in her juices. “How can you say you don’t want this, hmm?” He asks. “Look at how wet you are. Begging for it.”
“J-Just the tip,” she cries, bartering. “Innie-yah, you c-can fuck just the tip into noona. How does that sound?” Her voice wobbles. The sound is pathetic even to her own ears.
“Not good enough,” he says, “you shouldn’t have made me wait so long. That’s why I have to do this, you know.”
Jeongin reaches up and tugs her nightgown all the way off her head. He tosses it to the ground.
“My wife should be fully naked,” he laughs, “when I take her for the first time.”
“W-We aren’t married yet,” Hyunjin mutters feebly.
“In the eyes of God, we will be,” Jeongin lines his cock up.
“Th-is isn’t right.” But even she can feel the way she’s given up against her own ears. The way she’s paralyzed and helpless against the sheets. She loves Jeongin. She wants to marry him. Could it be so bad to let him fuck her? Maybe he’s right. Maybe she is a frigid bitch. Maybe she did make him wait too long. His fingers toy with her cunt, fondling her. He fucks two digits in and out of her soaking wet pussy, curling them up against her g-spot.
What kind of woman is she? What kind of wife is she trying to be? Jeongin’s trying to give her pleasure. And she’s so hellbent on denying him.
Would it be so wrong to give the love of her life what he deserves?
She should listen to her husband.
Hyunjin stops struggling against his hold.
There’s no point in fighting with Jeongin. With a man.
In the end, he will always get what he wants.
He removes his fingers from her cunt and trails a soft, gentle hand up her chest, squeezing at her breasts once more before fixing her rosary. He gets her slick all over it. Desecrating. It feels more violating than the fingers in her cunt did.
Jeongin untangles the rosary, laying it delicately against her skin. He carefully pulls the silver chain holding her Jesus pendant straight.
“You should take care of those,” he says, “it feels blasphemous to treat such items like shit.”
Jeongin presses his cock between her folds, right against her entrance. Hyunjin soaks his dick in her slick, her juices. She lets out a sniffle. Her last line of defense. “Condom?”
Jeongin actually lets out his real laugh. The one Hyunjin hears at brunch after Mass. When he spins her around his apartment while they dance. When they walk together down the street, hands brushing at every step on their dates.
The one she felt always sounded like music to her ears.
“You gotta be joking,” Jeongin is cutting, “you’re Catholic.”
He pushes his dick inside her cunt, without giving her any time to breathe or adjust. The stretch feels like someone is ripping her apart. There is a sharp burst of pain as he forces his way in, taking up all the space she has left.
She lets out a staticky, wet cough. Her moans are choked, Jeongin’s fingers on her hips tight and unyielding. Hyunjin cries fully now, silently, as Jeongin withdraws himself and plunges back in—over and over and over.
“Ah, shit,” he groans, “your pussy is so tight. Fuck, fuck.” He moves his hands to her legs, spreading her apart, hands locked around her ankles. Hyunjin lies on the bed limply, letting Jeongin take whatever he wants. Letting Jeongin do whatever he wants. She is the best girlfriend in the world. The best future wife.
The only woman Jeongin will ever want. Or need.
She touches the rosary on her neck, as the guilt and shame consume her. She wants to stare at the ceiling, but it’s so hard. The compulsion to watch as Jeongin bullies his cock inside her doesn’t go away. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. She looks down between the spread of her thighs, sees how Jeongin’s cock is shiny and coated on every thrust. Her body wants this. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be so wet.
She can barely register the sounds in the quiet room aside from Jeongin’s loud panting, their skin slapping together, her heart pounding in her ears.
In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Jeongin’s bending her back so hard it stings. He doesn’t care how she feels. The look on his face is ravenous. Her cunt must be perfect. For a wonderful boy like Jeongin to lose his self-control. Hyunjin wipes the tears from her face. She can’t look away from where he strips his cock inside her.
There’s bile in her throat, rising up in her esophagus. She stares at the way his dick penetrates her, eyes focused and glassed over. It’s like it’s not her body. It’s like it’s happening to someone else. He tears her open, without a care in the world. It must feel so nice, Hyunjin thinks, this body must feel so good.
“I see blood,” Jeongin says, euphoric. He lets out a giggle. It’s a wonderful sound. Hyunjin feels dead inside. “You really are virginal.” He pushes his cock in again. Hyunjin can see the red coating the slick on his cock.
“Were.” She notes, voice monotone.
“You’re right,” he laughs, fucking her harder. “You were. Now you’re ruined. Now you’re mine.”
She hums in agreement as she cries. The tears spill down her cheeks, renewed, as her vision blurs. Everything she’s ever had, all she’s ever built. Taken away from her—just like that. Stolen from her—just like that. No one will ever want her anymore.
And it’s all her fault.
Hyunjin should have never looked at Jeongin. Never befriended Jeongin. Never sought him out, never agreed to that first date. She should have never prayed for him, never begged God to give her something to want.
She should be suffering. She deserves it.
She feels so sick, her stomach in knots. The bile fills her mouth before she can stop it. Hyunjin turns her head to the side, coughing it all up on the bed sheet beside her.
“Did you just barf?” Jeongin says. He doesn’t stop fucking her, not even as she chokes on the bile, spitting more of it out. Not even as she cries and cries.
“Do it again,” he demands, “your cunt just got so fucking tight.”
She whimpers against the sheets. She cannot meet his eyes. This is no longer the cute little boy she had a crush on in CCD. No longer the best friend she had in Mass, her boyfriend, her confidant, the only one she thought understood her.
This man is a monster. Just like every other.
Hyunjin vomits again. It burns as it comes up. The same way Jeongin burns as he thrusts in. Her mouth tastes like acid. The bile gets in her hair. Jeongin throbs so much, beyond turned on. He pulses inside her, she can feel where he leaks into her body.
He gets his hands under her legs, pushes them back against her chest. He’s got her in a mating press now, his body pushing her against the mattress. She thinks she might suffocate underneath him. A part of her hopes she does.
“Look at me,” he says. Hyunjin has nothing left.
She listens.
Her eyes meet Jeongin. He stares at her with a lust-filled gaze. His pupils are completely gone. His body is covered in a sheen of sweat. His dick violates her body, moving her up the bed. Her pendant bounces against her skin. Her rosary is askew across her chest. This is what I deserve, Hyunjin thinks, mind foggy, this is all I’ll ever deserve.
He grabs her chin, forcing her mouth open. He doesn’t even need to force her anymore. If he asked, Hyunjin would open her mouth. If he asked, Hyunjin would spread her legs. If he asked—
Hyunjin would let him do whatever he wanted.
If it made Jeongin happy. If it gave her back her sweet little boyfriend. If it made him fuck her like this again. If it made him stop.
She sticks out her tongue. He pushes his inside.
He kisses her, licking the bile taste out of her mouth. Hyunjin gasps, disgusted. How could he do that to himself? How could he taste her like this? When she is no longer at her best?
“I-I’m disgusting,” she says, trying to pull away. “I’m not clean for you.”
Jeongin bites her cheek. “I like you dirty,” he says, “no one else can see you like this.” His cock feels like it’s hitting her cervix. Every time Jeongin pulls out she sees his dick coated in thick, white slick. It’s shameful, knowing that came from her. He fucks against her cervix again, the head of his cock pushing and prodding where nothing else has been. Hyunjin is long past the point of registering the pain. Jeongin’s loud moaning rings in her ears.
She lets her jaw go lax, lets Jeongin do as he pleases. When he sticks his fingers in her mouth, she lets him. When he runs the pads of his fingers against her teeth, she lets him.
And when he spits on her tongue, she swallows.
Like a good wife. Like a good girl.
Hyunjin keeps crying, something she only knows because Jeongin wipes her cheeks with his thumb. “I need to feel you cum on my dick,” he says. “I want your tight pussy to clench down on me.”
He trails his hands between their bodies, gets his fingers on Hyunjin’s clit. She still doesn’t feel like this is her body, still doesn’t feel like this is her pleasure.
“I-I can’t,” she begs, “y-you can cum, though, Innie. Y-You can cum inside noona if you want.”
Jeongin snorts. “If I want,” he repeats, “as if you had a choice.”
Hyunjin nods softly. There is no choice. She is Jeongin’s to do with as he pleases. She is the perfect girlfriend. No one else would want her anyway. Not like this, not defiled. Not touched.
Not taken.
“You will cum,” Jeongin pushes, “or I’ll tell everyone at church what you allowed me to do. How you let me desecrate you.” His laugh is so cruel. Hyunjin hyperventilates, breath coming in shallow bursts.
“Besides,” he adds, “I’m such a good boyfriend. I’m thinking about how you feel. Not many guys would.”
Hyunjin nods her head. She closes her eyes. I can do this, she thinks, just one orgasm. Then he’ll stop. Then he’ll leave me alone. Then he’ll go back to being the wonderful boyfriend I know he is.
“Ah,” she moans, “harder, baby,” she begs. The guilt is replaced with pleasure. The embarrassment changes to lust.
The shame changes to desire.
Hyunjin opens her eyes and stares up at Jeongin. His hand is still on her face—she sucks his thumb into her mouth, cants her hips into every thrust. She leans into the sensation, begging her mind to become present. The sooner she cums, the sooner she can put this behind them both.
“Just like that,” Jeongin moans, “there’s my Jezebel.” He jackhammers into her, movements now erratic. She meets him thrust for thrust, swirling her tongue against the pad of his thumb. “You deserve to cum, because you’re so good to me. Noona is my good girl, isn’t she?”
He flicks her clit with his other hand, leaning back to watch the way his dick stretches her open. “Noona’s always just wanted to be good for somebody.” It builds up in her belly, the tightness in her gut. She really is so close. “I’m just the lucky guy.”
Jeongin just wants her to feel good. She’s such a good girl. His good girl.
His. His. His.
“Be good for me,” Jeongin hands it down like a commandment. “And I will always take care of you.”
When Hyunjin’s orgasm crashes through her, she thinks it is the closest thing to Heaven that she’s ever going to get.
It starts from her abdomen and travels out towards her hands and feet. She shakes with pleasure, legs jerking against the sheets. Jeongin fucks her through the aftershocks, through the overstimulation, finger still on her clit as she continues to rock against his thrusts.
He removes his finger from her mouth and places it on her hip, keeping her steady against the bed as he thrusts into her, just three, four, five times more before she feels his cum spreading out from his cock and painting her insides.
He uses her body to fuck through his own aftershocks, as if she’s nothing more than his fleshlight. His hands grip her hips too tightly, unconcerned with her feelings as he chases his own pleasure. He lightly grinds against her until he comes to a stop, cock softening inside her.
The only sounds in the quiet room are the hum of the air conditioning and Hyunjin’s own labored breathing. Jeongin lays on top of her, body weight pressing her against the mattress, rendering her immobile. Even after coming, he still won’t let her go. She shakes under the pressure, sobs wracking her body, eyes closed as she buries her face into the pillow. She can feel Jeongin leaking out of her. She can feel his dick where it still rests inside her.
But mostly, she can feel his breath on her neck, hot puffs of air against her skin.
She wants to crawl out of her body and lay in the dirt. She wants the Earth to open up and swallow her whole. Every bit of her skin feels electrified with how good it felt to orgasm. With how good Jeongin felt inside of her despite… despite…
She inhales a shaky, shaky, breath. Exhales through her mouth. Wills herself to stop crying.
She pushes Jeongin off her, and he goes easily. Now that he’s gotten what he wanted. Now that he’s received what every man prays for.
A hot cunt. A warm hole. A tight pussy.
A place to lose themselves into, uncaring of the outcome.
She sits up on the bed, feet touching the carpet floor. Hyunjin grabs the rosary at her neck. She runs her fingers across her pendant of Jesus. She whimpers. It grounds her.
Inhale through her nose. Exhale out of her mouth.
Hyunjin recites a Hail Mary to herself. Followed by Our Father. It doesn’t feel like enough. This was all her fault. She hopes God can forgive her one day.
She looks down at her spread legs, at her squished thighs and naked cunt, and sees the traces of Jeongin’s cum on her inner thighs. Hyunjin stands up, bones popping. She needs a shower. She needs soap.
She feels arms wrap around her waist, pulling her back down onto the bed. Jeongin nips at her ear, insatiable.
All men are, she thinks, once they get a taste.
“Innie,” she begs, “please. No more.”
“But, noona,” he says, “it was so good, wasn’t it?” His voice makes her skin crawl. “You felt so good didn’t you?” He noses at the base of her neck. “I made you feel good. I let you cum. You should be grateful.”
Hyunjin rips out of his hold, turning to face him. He is laying on his side, head propped up on a pillow. Her eyes water again, a seemingly unstoppable faucet.
“You raped me,” she says quietly.
“I did,” Jeongin shrugs. His gaze flickers, boyish charm in full force. “Did I do a good job?”
Hyunjin cries something fierce, throwing herself into his arms. He pulls her against his chest. She tightens her grip on Jeongin. “Yes,” she says, “it was so fucking good.”
“I’m glad it was, noona.” He cards his fingers through her hair softly. “You don’t deserve someone being so mean to you.”
She looks at his face, wiping the tears on the edge of the blanket. “I wanted, no, needed it. It was the o-only way to… you know.” Even now she can’t bring herself to say it. The shame is too much.
“It helped,” Jeongin says. “I could feel you clench around me.”
“You were really convincing,” she says. He hums against her cheek. “Really convincing.”
His hands continue to card through her hair. Jeongin’s gaze is far away, but he offers her a small grin.
It was a big thing to ask of her boyfriend. A fantasy she needed indulged in, a break in her psyche she needed to have. Hyunjin just hopes it doesn’t change their relationship too much.
“You won’t think less of me, right?”
Jeongin smiles at her. It touches his eyes. “Of course not,” he says, “who else would let me fuck them like this?” He cups her breast in his hand. “Who else would be so happy to be used?”
Hyunjin blushes. Jeongin’s got an unreadable look on his face. “I’m sorry I threw up.”
He laughs. “Is it fucked up if I say that it was kind of hot?”
“Yeah it is,” she murmurs, tracing patterns on his arm, “but no crazier than what I asked of you.”
Jeongin snorts. “Fair,” he says. He pushes her onto her back, getting between her legs again. He opens her thighs, gets his hand on her cunt. He swirls his fingers in her mess, catching what drips out. He rubs it against her skin, pressing his thumb against her clit. He pushes three fingers inside her and it burns. “S-Stop,” she says.
He doesn’t.
He presses a gentle finger against her asshole. Hyunjin tenses. He pushes against the tight muscle, that same faraway look in his gaze. “I’ll be here next,” he says, laughing, smiling. “I’ll fuck inside your ass when you’re asleep.” His finger is wet where he prods against her entrance, Hyunjin can’t get herself to relax.
She looks at him in a daze. Her Jeonginnie would never do such a thing.
When he pulls his fingers out of her pussy, it is a mix of slick, cum, and a tinge of blood.
The sight makes her cunt pulse. The sick shame rolls through. She forgets what she was so worried about.
Jeongin peels his shirt off, rolling onto his back. He shows off his matching rosary and Jesus pendant underneath. “I think God made us for each other,” he says softly. He pulls Hyunjin against his body. She touches his rosary, where it sits stark against his chest.
“No one else would understand me,” Hyunjin agrees. She kisses Jeongin on the mouth—just a press of lips, just an exchange of air.
“No one else ever could.” He smiles into the kiss, picking up her rosary and placing it in his mouth. She remembers what it was covered in. She shakes in his hold.
“You should wear the pink dress with the flowers on it to Mass on Sunday,” Jeongin says between kisses, “I like the way it looks on you.”
“Trying to control what I wear too, Yang Jeongin?” She says it playfully. “Is that what you’re doing?”
He laughs. “Oh, noona,” he says, “it’s only a suggestion. I’d never force you to do anything.” His eyes shine darkly. Hyunjin senses something deeper underneath. His hand cups her ass, squeezing the jiggly flesh beneath.
“I’ll wear it,” she agrees, smiling, “because you asked.” Where there was a void, there is now Jeongin. She leans back against his touch. A balm. She should just let him take the wheel.
“You’ll wear it, because it’s me,” he corrects.
“You’re right,” Hyunjin says, heart pounding in her chest. And it’ll only ever be you, she thinks to herself. So long as I can help it.
She rolls on top of him, pressing a kiss to the base of his throat. Hyunjin reaches between their bodies, grabbing Jeongin’s half-hard dick in her hands, before lifting herself up and sitting down. It hurts where he penetrates her, where he stretches her wide open. The pain makes her tingle. She wiggles her toes against the sheets. Her cunt is so sore. Maybe Jeongin should fuck her ass. Lord knows he deserves her. All of her.
His smile is so rewarding after all.
She feels when his dick hardens in her cunt, where it throbs against the wet, streaky walls of her pussy. He twitches, on every move she makes to get comfortable, on every exhale of breath out of her mouth. It satiates something twisted deep, deep, in her soul.
Jeongin grips her hips tightly, fingers pressing into the skin. She thinks about the birth control in the trash can at Seungmin’s house. Thinks about the prenatal vitamins she’s been popping like pills. It brings a wretched smile to her face.
He should come inside her again, she thinks, as many times as need be. As many times as God requires. Jeongin could never leave her.
God wouldn’t allow him too.
She smiles at Jeongin, cradles his face. He is the best gift God has ever given her.
But Hyunjin thinks she deserves another.