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You said your goodbyes for the night to Bonnie and Mirabelle. They headed back to the inn. On the other hand, you, Madame Odile, and Siffrin have every intention of being out a while longer. It’s a nice night in a nice, unfrozen town. A perfect night for drinking. If you're lucky, you might be able to visit every bar in this town. There’s only three and you’ve got endurance for days. More than your companions for sure. Sif is tiny and M’dame gets ideas once she gets drunk. Plus she likes her drinks a lot harder than you do.
Which is how you find yourself at the first bar of the night, settling in a little booth in the back. You volunteer to get everyone’s drinks. Something fruity for you, something hard for Madame, and something sweet for Sif. You know his favourite is some kind of sugarcane juice, which you have only managed to find once, but you keep trying to find something that he’ll like just as much. Here you get him some kind of berry juice mixer and hope he likes it. Honestly, they put a lot of trust in you to make sure you get them the right thing. It warms your heart. …For completely platonic reasons. …Okay, not for platonic reasons.
Well, you’re doing this! You bring back the three drinks, and settle in for a night of sipping and chatting. Sif doesn’t say much, but you like the few times that he does chime in. But… Even for him, he’s being a little silent tonight.
“All good there, Sif?” you ask. “You’re looking a little flushed. Did I accidentally get you something really strong?” Maybe you should ask about the alcohol content next time…
“Oh?” He looks up to him, cheeks darker than normal. “No. I actually… Haven’t tried it yet. My head is just… A little weird tonight?”
And he’s sounding weird. “Are you getting sick?”
“I would hope not,” Madame Odile says over her drink. “We have to move out bright and early tomorrow. It wouldn’t do to have you sick, Siffrin. Perhaps you should turn in early. Get some rest. We can always try this at the next town.”
They frown. “But…” They look at you, and then Odile, and frown further. “No, you’re right. I should probably go back to the inn.”
They go to get up, and you shuffle to get out of their way so they can leave the booth. That’s when it hits you. The smell is faint, but it’s there. Honestly, you’d always really liked Siffrin’s scent. In a normal way! You like his scent in a normal way, the way that people like the scents of the people they are close to! Siffrin smells like wood and steel, with this slight sweet scent that’s always lingered on them. Today though, there’s something different there, something that’s deep and clawing and so familiar. A smell that everyone knows deep down in their soul. You freeze.
Perhaps the sign that all of this is going to crash and burn is that Sif, who was moving to follow you out, runs into you and doesn’t flinch, if anything, he kind of… Lingers in your touch, looking almost a little drunk off of it. Madame Odile raises a brow at that behaviour. She’s used to Siffrin’s aversion to touch as much as you are. You take in a breath.
“Sif… You, are sure you’re a beta, right?” You hate asking this.
He blinks. “...Yeah? I never presented as anything else, so beta.”
“And you’re absolutely sure? Like, confirmed by a doctor and everything.”
You both know that Siffrin avoids the doctor like the plague, so going to confirm his classification when he was already pretty sure of it is actually pretty unlikely. “...”
Odile sighs. “Oh gems… Really? Now of all times?”
“Sorry…” You look to her apologetically, even though it’s not your fault. Nor is it Sif’s fault that he’s apparently the latest bloomer known to man. You didn’t think it was possible to present this late.
Siffrin looks concerned. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, but you, kind of…” You don’t know how to say it, so Odile finishes that statement for you.
“You’re experiencing a heat.”
With all the impressive intelligence of someone actually experiencing a heat, which is exactly none, Siffrin manages to retort, “Betas don’t get heats. Only omegas do.”
“Yes, that is the problem.” Odile looks to you to explain.
“Sif… I can smell it. Also, you’re kind of clinging to my arm…” Which he was doing. Any other day, this would have you extremely flustered, and you do feel very embarrassed, but right now you have to help him figure out this whole heat thing.
“...Smells good.” It was troublingly unSiffrin like behaviour. And this was probably the worst place for this to happen. Well, no, that was the House of Change, but that was an orb and a week or so of travel away. But starting a heat in the middle of a crowded bar was sure to cause trouble. There was always one alpha who decides they don’t need to take their hormone suppressants.
You force a smile. “Let’s just get you back to the inn, okay? And then we’ll figure out things from there.”
You realize quickly, on the way back, that the problem is growing in proportion. Siffrin insists on walking really close to you. You don’t hold his hand, even though he seems to want to, because you know this isn’t something he would want when he’s normal. You need to treat him, no matter how fuzzy headed he is right now, with the same grace that you would when they’re normal. It doesn’t stop them from frowning every time you reject his advances.
Eventually you make it to the inn. You smile at the man behind the counter apologetically. He interrupts you before you can say anything.
“The heat room’s available, but it’s going to cost you. Even for the saviors of Vaugarde, I can’t give that away without compensation.” He does look a little sorry. You understand. Cleaning out and maintaining a heat room is a lot of work. Everything in there has to be specially Crafted to be cleaned and unscented between each guest. Generally, a stay in a heat room is five times the price of a normal room.
“We’ll pay. Should this be enough to cover the next few nights? Depending on how long this lasts, I’ll be willing to pay more.” Odile goes to the counter and begins taking out coins. Unfortunately, Siffrin has something to stay about this.
“I don’t need to go to the heat room. I’m normal. I’m a beta.” He pouts, as if being an omega was some kind of curse. …Well, as a former omega, you can kind of agree. It’s not a kind fate to ask of anyone. “I can just stay in mine and Isa’s room.”
“No. Absolutely not. I’m sorry, but the last time an omega in heat stayed in a normal room, it took nearly a month before the scent came out of the wood. And we had to replace all the linens. It’s the heat room, or I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” It sounds harsh, but the inn keeper is being completely reasonable.
“You will be staying in the heat room until this is sorted.” Odile gives them a stern look, before going back to discussing prices with the inn keeper. You are currently busy with Siffrin who is leaning over more and more in your direction. You have little choice to but to support them before they fall.
You hope he’ll be forgiving of you for being so touchy when he gets back to normal.
“I’ll go get Mirabelle so we can discuss this. Isabeau, take Siffrin to the heat room, but don’t lock the door. We should all discuss this together before we decide what to do going forward.” Odile finishes speaking with the inn keeper and gives you a quick, brisque order.
You offer your hand to Siffrin. “Come on Sif.”
He quickly takes it. The needy nature of an omega in heat is a hard thing to ignore. It’s not hard to find the heat room. They’re always in the very back of every inn, on the first floor. This one has a heavy door with a food slot at the bottom. Service with a heat room, included in the price, is three meals a day. It’s not like the omega can leave, nor would one really want to leave their nest. Speaking of nests, the first thing you see when you enter the heat room is a collection of blankets and pillows, designed for an omega to nest in. They haven’t been set up yet. That’s Siffrin’s job, a job he obviously takes seriously, as he immediately drops your hand to go over to the nesting supplies. If their scent hadn’t made you aware their heat had started, the single minded focus that they now began inspecting the building materials with would have told you everything.
You look around the room while he’s busy with the shelf of supplies. There’s a normal bed in this room as well, though you doubt it even gets used. Next to it is a shelf of board games and romance books. A heat can be long and boring. Someone’s going to get some use out of those. You remember regretting having nothing but textbooks with you during your own heat. Textbooks you’d already read. Romance books will lead you to believe that one’s heat is a time filled entirely with passion and longing. It’s not. It’s mostly sleeping, a lot of boredom because you don’t dare leave the nest, and a painful neediness. Frankly, romance books glorify it to an unhealthy degree.
There’s an attached washroom with a large tub. You’re pretty grateful this place is so big and nicely decorated. It’s going to be Sif’s home for at least the next three days. Maybe more. Being that they didn’t seem to know they were an omega, they don’t know how long their heats last, and it could be anywhere from three days to a week in a half. For the sake of the Vaugarde, you hoped it was closer to the former.
The sound of the door opening forced you to return to the main room. Madame Odile led in a worried Mirabelle into the room. You offer her a reassuring smile and she smiles back, though it’s weak.
“So, how are we going to deal with this?” Straight to the heart of the issues. It was simply Madame’s nature.
“We… Don’t really have any choice but to wait it out.” Mirabelle looked over to where Siffrin was methodically testing different pillows for their firmness. “I really don’t understand how they thought they were a beta? I thought, no matter what, omega presented by their early twenties.”
“I think I might have an answer for that.” Odile looks to Siffrin. “Siffrin, how long have you been traveling?”
They looked up from their important task. “I don’t know.”
“And who were you traveling with before us?” Odile continues to ask questions. Your eyes widen with realization when it occurs to you exactly what she’s asking this for. There’s no way right?
“Nobody. Just you all.”
She let’s out a sigh. “Yes, I thought so.” Odile looks back to Mirabelle. “When an omega is in heat, they are essentially helpless. They can neither look after themself nor can they secure their own food. Going into heat in the wild is very dangerous. So, as a result, an omega will not go into heat if they are either in an unsafe environment, or if they are completely alone.”
You look to Siffrin with concern. You know how heats work, of course you do, know that they normally start in someone’s mid teen years. Most people take medication after their first heat or rut to keep them under control. And by under control, you mean non-existent. They were just too inconvenient for the modern day. Who has time to spend an entire week in a nest or shaking with pent up energy. As someone who has endured exactly one heat and one rut, you would not wish that on anyone. The only people who don’t medicate are betas, who are blessed to live without either affliction. The only way to know if you’re a beta is to simply not be an alpha or omega, which means don’t have either a heat or a rut. It was perfectly logical that Siffrin would think he was a beta. You don’t fault him for that. If anything, you’re concerned that he was never safe enough to start a heat until now.
Mirabelle looks confused before horror slowly dawns on her. “Oh! Does that mean Siffrin…?”
“Has been traveling alone for the past ten years or so, yes, most likely. Care to confirm that?” Odile looks once more to Siffrin, who is currently rubbing his cheek with vigor on a fluffy blanket.
“Can’t remember that long. Probably.”
You take a breath and try not to think about it. Sif is your friend. Your cute, pun wielding friend who knows all about hunting and whittling and traveling. You don’t want to think about how lonely he must have been for so long. Maybe it was okay. Maybe he liked being alone. Maybe you’re equating trauma to where there is none. You try not to think about it.
“I suppose we can consider that question answered. For whatever reason, now is when his first heat triggered, which means it’s not something we can interrupt. It’s dangerous to interfere with someone’s first heat. It can cause all kinds of problems down the line. The body needs to flush out those hormones. But this also means that we’ll be struck here for a while.”
Mirabelle looks down at the ground. “I’m not sure we have that much time.”
“We can take a week. Any more than that, and we may have to consider moving on without him.” Your heart sinks in your chest.
“We can’t just leave without him!” you protest.
“It might not be a choice. I would rather not risk Siffrin’s future health by putting him on heat suppressants now. But we also have a duty to Vaugarde to continue this journey. It’s not a choice I make lightly, Isabeau.” Odile looks to you with a calm expression. You can’t feel angry at her because she’s right.
“Most people’s heats don’t last that long, right?” Mirabelle tries to sooth the situation. “It’s normally three to five days. I’ve heard at least.” As a beta, this was never a concern for her. Nor was it for Odile.
“Hopefully it’s a non-issue. But we should be prepared just in case.” Odile sighs. “For now, we need to decide who will look after him.”
Right. While this room is well stocked, a heat alone is an extremely cruel fate. Normally someone sits in with them. It’s best when they have a mate, but it’s more often that’s not always an option. Family is normally good, and it curbs another problem that comes from a heat if it’s a relative, namely that people don’t hit on their relative during their heat. However, neither of those are options right now. So it has to be one of you three.
“I-I can do it!” With the face of someone who is about to scoop up cat litter, Mirabelle volunteers herself. “I was the one who invited Siffrin along, and you wouldn’t all be here if not for me.”
“As true as that is, Mirabelle, it’s clear that you would rather do anything else.” Madame Odile points it out before you can. “On the same foot, I have no interest in spending the next week locked in a heat room. However, I will do it. I suppose I’ll have more time to read if I do.”
No, that’s not fair either. “I can do it.”
“...Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Odile raises a brow at you.
“It’s no different from looking after a drunk friend. Even if he gets, umm…” You don’t want to talk about Siffrin getting horny and propositioning you. Which is what is probably going to happen if you stay. But it could happen to any of them. You’re not special. It’s what omegas in heat do. “Needy, I’ll just tell him no. I am properly medicated. Nothing will happen.”
“...I suppose I do trust you. The wonders of modern medicine, making it safe for an alpha to babysit an omega in heat.” Madame chuckles a little. “However, it’s not really for us to decide, is it?”
“Right!” Mirabelle nods. “We should ask Siffrin! Ah, Siffrin! Which of us would you like to stay with you during your heat?”
Siffrin, who was sniffing a blanket, takes a moment to think. “All of you.” He looks back at his blankets. “I’ll need to expand the nest…”
“You can not have all of us, Siffrin. Be reasonable.” Madame gives them a stern enough look to get through their heat soaked brain.
Sif drops the blankets he was holding and goes up to each of you. He sniffs first Odile, then Mirabelle, and finally you. “Isa. I pick Isa.”
“Well, that was obvious. The omega picks the alpha to look after them. But I suppose this was always the way that this was going to go.” She nods to you. “Look after them, Isabeau. I trust you to know what to do.”
“You got it.” You smile, and pretend your heart isn’t beating a little faster. You know that Sif only picked him due to the fact that alpha’s scents are appealing to omegas during their heat. It still makes you feel like maybe Sif actually likes you back. You know that’s an overstatement. You’ve always had a heart that crushes too easily. Even if you know this has gone past a crush at this point. But that’s a secret, one just for you (and poor Odile who you forced to listen to you ramble about it).
Mira gives you a quick hug. “I’ll see you in a few days, okay? Promise you’ll take care of yourself too, when you’re watching Siffrin.”
“Of course. Always do.” You hug her back before sending her and Madame on their way.
Frankly, the first part of the heat is uneventful. You do leave for a bit to grab yours and Siffrin’s bags from your original, now unused, room. You tuck them away in a closet that’s supposed to keep them from getting covered in the heat scent and settle down for the next while. At the moment, you’re very lucky that Siffrin is too occupied with the task of nesting to realize that you were gone. Omegas do not take well to be alone during their heats.
You try not to laugh when Siffrin makes what looks like the smallest, ugliest little nest you’ve ever seen. Well, the only nest you really remember was the one you made during your own heat, and the ones your parents made for your little siblings when they were very young. You think your nest was better built than that though. Actually, you’re sure. You don’t remember much about your heat in any clear detail but you do distinctly remember crying because you didn’t have a ruler to measure the exact height of the nest walls. What were you going to do if one of the walls was half a centimeter taller than the rest? Die, probably.
Siffrin gave no such care about his nest. His little, heat soaked brain, was running in circles as he primed and piled blankets on blankets on pillows. There were a number of firm cushions for him to use, but he seemed to only want to make his nest out of soft things, and also things that didn’t belong in a nest. He took the books off of the shelf and piled them along the edge of the nest to make walls. It was only when he went to take apart some of the furniture did you stop him.
“You can’t do that buddy.” You put a hand on his to lead him away from the bookshelf. He proceeds to growl at you, a deep grumbling thing. It’s both a little terrifying and also the cutest thing you’d ever seen. Like a hissing kitten. “No Sif.”
“I need it.” There’s a little desperation in his voice.
“No you don’t.”
“ I need it. ”
“Why do you need it?” you ask.
“...”
“No Sif.”
He looks to you with big, sad eyes, as if that’s going to change things. But, it does make him give up. He sulks, rearranging the books for a little bit and repeatedly looking back at you with those big sad eyes. You do not feel bad enough to let him take apart the furniture.
Eventually, the nest is finished. Siffrin comes up to you with pride.
“Look.” He gestures to the sad little nest. “Come look at it.”
Generally, omegas are very protective of their nests, but they’ll share them with family and mates. You know for a fact that if Mirabelle and Madame Odile had stayed, you would all have to squeeze into this tiny thing. And it really is tiny. It’s Siffrin sized. You smile.
“It’s good, Sif.”
He smiles. “Yes. …Now get in.”
Yeah, you saw this coming. You get into the little nest, pulling your legs up to your chest. Siffrin slips in next to you. At this point, you can feel the warmth radiating through his cloak. They don’t call it a heat for nothing. His brain must be a heat hazed mush by this point. He sits in his little nest with you and smiles in pride.
You try not to laugh. Romance novels never push how absolutely silly someone can be during their heat. You know for a fact that people aren’t any smarter when they’re in rut. At the time of yours, you have had a crush on a girl in your Defender program and spent the entire rut, between bouts of lust, dreaming about baking her bread to prove that you would be a good mate. It made the crush so awkward that you couldn’t really talk to her again after that. But your rut was a little weird, since you spent it alone. You press a little against Siffrin. No, you won’t wish a heat or a rut alone on anyone.
Eventually, you convinced Siffrin to get out of the nest and play a board game with you. They cheated liberally, which was normal, but also he cheated badly and obviously. You, of course, have always noticed when Siffrin cheats. It’s just more fun to pretend you don’t notice. They are very cute when they smile to themself menacingly when they think they’ve gotten away with something particularly dastardly. But heat brain means they occasionally cheat in the wrong direction and actually make the game harder on themself. You feel a little bad. Heat brain, at this stage, is basically like being very drunk.
Yes, heat day one isn’t very bad. Day two is not easy.
They don’t call it a heat for no reason, and you’re awoken by a familiar cloak being thrown off and onto you.
“It’s hot, it’s hot…” Siffrin mutters to themself as they pull off layer after layer, until they’re left in their under clothing. You only peeked for a second before squeezing your eyes shut. …That was a stupid thing to do. You knew you’d see him in this state when you decided to stay with him during his heat. That’s just how heats go.
You push yourself up. “Sif. You okay?”
“No… I feel gross, and hot, and…” He sounds more lucid than he has since the two of you were drinking together. “Something’s wrong with me, Isa.”
You pause. He sounds miserable. “It’s just a heat buddy. It feels really gross and awful, but you’re not sick. It’ll go away.”
“How long?”
“I’m not sure. But, we’ll figure it out. I promise. For now, how about I pour you a cold bath? Cooling down might help you out.”
He nods, uncomfortable, and you get out of the nest, with only minor noises of distress from Siffrin when you’re out of his sight. You feel a little bad about that. You take this chance to relieve yourself, you know tearing yourself away again will be difficult, and pour him a cold bath. You really hope it helps. You actually don’t get to fetch him, as he seems to have found the strength to wander away from the nest. They must need you more than the nest.
(Don’t think about it.)
“I’ll just be in the nest-” You’re about to leave when he grabs you by the arm. For such a little guy, they’re pretty strong.
“Stay.”
“Sif, I know your brain is all fuzzy right now, but you really don’t want me around when you’re having a bath.”
“The tub is big enough for us both.”
OH! They weren’t just asking you to stay in the bathroom, they were asking you to get in the tub with them. You feel your face heat up. No. Calm down, it’s heat brain.
“I can’t do that.”
They whine and you find yourself enjoying that noise more than you should. You are trying so hard… “Please?”
“Sorry Sif. I’ll wait just outside the bathroom, though. I’ll only be a few feet away. We can talk the whole time, okay?”
“...Okay.”
They don’t wait for you to get out of the bathroom before they start to strip off the last of their clothes and you have to rush yourself out to avoid getting a glimpse of their bare form. You sit with your back to the wall, right next to the doorway. You hear the sound of water sloshing and a loud sigh. You hope it helped.
“Isa?”
“What’s up Sif?” Wow, they did not even wait a minute before making sure you’re there.
“Just wanted to hear you.”
“Of course.” Neediness. It was going to get worse from here.
“Can you tell me something?”
“Sure, what do you want to know?”
There’s a little silence before he answers. “Just… Anything. About you. About the world. About Vaugarde, or Jouvente, or the Defenders. Something. Anything to get my mind off of this.”
“Oh, okay…” Unfortunately, your mind is a little occupied by his whole situation to think of much. But a fun fact does come to mind eventually. “Did you know that all humans used to be betas?”
“...Huh? That doesn’t make much sense.”
“No, really.” Maybe you shouldn’t be showing your nerdy side to him like this. “Up until a few hundred years ago, there was no record of alphas or omegas at all. In fact, there’s some evidence that people just started presenting as alphas and omegas out of nowhere one day. Nobody’s really sure how it happened. Only that it did.”
“Sounds scary.”
“Yeah. Things are pretty okay now, since we have suppressants and all, but I can’t imagine how bad it used to be for people when it just… Suddenly happened. I mean, even now suppressants can fail, and that’s considered a horrible thing to happen to a person. I can’t imagine how bad it must be to have to deal with a rut every few months without any other options.” It would be a nightmare. You’re so lucky that medication is regularly available. But medication can cost money and resources, and you know that’s not something everyone has. Some people just have to live with their heats. Some people have to decide between eating everyday and getting their heat suppressants.
“Heat suppressants… Is there any way I can go on them?” You hear the splash, as if Sif is moving in the tub.
“I mean, of course. We’ll get you some right as soon as all this is over.” You smile a little.
“No, right now. Can you get them for me? Can you make this end?” Oh. your smile dies within moments of appearing on your face.
“That’s dangerous.”
“I don’t care. I want this to be over Isa.”
“Sif, people have died from suppressing their first heat. I know it’s awful, but-”
“I don’t care if I die.” Your heart drops into your stomach. “I don’t care! I just want this to be over! I… I feel so gross. I want to do things. Disgusting things. Things I never want. Things I couldn’t do if I tried. I want to do things to you. Things you don’t want.”
“I promise, I won’t touch you.”
“You touching me isn’t the issue. I want you to touch me. It’s me touching you. I never want to do that to you. I’m… Disgusting.” His tone of voice breaks your heart.
“You’re not. I promise you’re not. This is normal for a heat. You’ll get through it and you’ll never have to do this again, I promise.” You hope they hear the sincerity in your voice, but you somehow doubt it.
You hear a loud splash, and then wet foot steps.
“Wait Sif-”
Before you can get your words out, they’re standing in front of you. Water runs off of their nude form. You don’t have time to close your eyes before you get a good look at them. What you notice most of all in their clouded gaze as they look down at you, their face painted a light shade. A little bit of a flush. They must be feverish with need now.
“Isa, please hold me?” he practically begs.
“Put some clothes on first!”
“...Too hot.”
“Sif. Please. You can sit with me, but you have to get dressed.”
They whine one more, a feral little thing that pulls at your instincts. You take a shaky breath. “Siffrin, clothes.”
You don’t like taking that tone with them, something domineering and harsh, but you need to right now. You need to be clear. You are just looking after him. There are boundaries that you can not and will never cross. Not when they can’t properly consent.
You hear wet feet retreating and then some more movement, before finally they return. They are still soaking wet, their boxers clinging to their form. You try not to notice how much of their skin you can see. It’s beautiful. They’re beautiful. You want to kiss them. You don’t. You know they don’t want that.
“That’s better.” You smile a little. “Want to go back to the nest?”
They nod enthusiastically, the thought of both you and the nest at the same time exciting them. You get up before settling back into the nest. It’s still too small for you, really. Siffrin curls up next to you, pressing their cheek against your arm.
“You smell so good, Isa…”
You certainly do not. You’re coated in a layer of sweat. Changing to an alpha meant you sweat a lot more than you used to when you were younger, which was not great on a normal basis, but was worse when you definitely won’t be able to bathe for at least a few days without Siffrin scratching on the door like a desperate house cat.
“It’s just the heat, Sif.”
“No, you do… Like… Like… You smell like Isa. Like my friend, my partner.” You almost choke when he calls you his partner. Comedy partner. His comedy partner.
“I’m glad that you like me that much. Hehe…” You know you’re flustered. Siffrin doesn’t need to notice, all but nuzzling your arm at this point.
“I think I’d like more of you…”
Oh no… You know where this is going.
“We could…” Siffrin takes in a big breath, a long whiff of your scent before stopping. “No. No. We shouldn’t.”
Oh thank Change. It was still only day two. There is no way that he was going to get worse than this, right? You know better than that. You know that the true depths of the heat haven’t even begin to hit.
Cuddled against your side, Siffrin slept til dinner. He threw a fuss when you got up to get it, but settled when you returned. It seemed to do something for him that you were feeding him. Honestly, you gave him half of your meal too, plus all of the extra that Bonbon sent because they never trust the inn keepers to properly keep you all fed. You think you get a bit of fulfillment from it too, making sure your omega is fed. …The omega is fed. Not yours. Not even when you haven’t even gotten the courage to confess to him.
You don’t play board games today. Siffrin’s focus isn’t nearly good enough for that. Instead you tell each other stories. He tells you odd things from his past before trailing off, like he can’t remember where the story goes next. You account that to the heat and press him for more stories. After he does that enough times, all their stories end up being modern ones. Stories about travel, and cities, and one very difficult block of wood that refused to turn into anything good. You like the last one the best.
You tell him stories too. About your home, about your family. You try not to mention anything about how you were before you Changed. They’re not Vaugardian, they might not understand what it is to truly Change. They might judge you for who you used to be, or worse, question if you’re still that person. You don’t talk about it. You tell them stories instead. About people. About being a Defender. About Jouvente. They seem to like to listen to you, and before you know it, you’ve talked away most of the night yourself. You only realize they’ve fallen asleep when they don’t respond to the pun set up you clearly laid out for them.
Day two was alright. Day three was a nightmare.
The scent hits you, and it hits hard. It’s choking, cloying. Overpowering. Siffrin’s normal scent of wood and steel and sweet is covered up by this too strong scent. If it was normal, it would have been nice. Appealing, pleasant even. But it’s like cracking open a bottle of perfume. It was too strong, it was too concentrated, and it was all over you.
Correction, he was all over you.
Somehow, while you slept, he had crawled into your lap. As you blinked away, you felt his nose against your neck, breathing in your scent. You freeze, but he notices you are awake.
“Isa, Isa~” His tone is singsong, like someone completely in the depths of a good night of drinking. “I-za-beau~”
You feel your mouth go dry. “Sif, you alright buddy?”
“I feel good, but I could feel better. You could make me feel better Isa~” Lust, raw and clear in their voice. The true heat was here.
“I’m not going to do that.” Your tone is stern, and you try to pull any emotion that’s welled up in you out of this.
“Please?” You can feel their hot breath on your ear. You beg your body not to respond. “You could do whatever you want with me. Just touch me.”
His little hands come to touch your big hand, to guide it somewhere you don’t want it to go. You resist his grasp. He’s not as strong as he was yesterday, the weakness of heat already taking over. Soon enough, he won’t be able to walk on his own. An omega is completely helpless during their heat. That wasn’t an exaggeration.
“I know you think this is a good idea right now, but I promise you, you will not be okay with it when you’re normal.”
Their cheek rubs against yours, marking you with their too powerful scent. “But I’ll forget. I always forget. You could make me happy now and future me won’t know.”
Disgust pools in your gut. How can he say that? No, you know. It was the heat. Heat was little more than an intense sickness. He was sick right now, that’s why he was behaving that way. At least it killed your growing boner dead. “No.”
“...Why don’t you want me?”
Oh, if only you could explain to him that you didn’t just want him, you love him. You really love him, so you would never do this to him. Not when he was out of his right mind. You bring your arms up and wrap around him. While he might not like to be touched, omega need touch when they’re in heat or they can become incredibly distressed. Hopefully this calms him down a little.
You don’t dare go back to sleep with him sitting on your lap like this. You know he won’t do anything. You have enough belief in Siffrin’s will that he won’t do anything to you that you don’t openly consent to. Still, you don’t want to go to sleep. You know that he’s going to lose a lot of his mobility soon. That can be really scary.
You have to get him off your lap to go and grab breakfast. Their hands are too shaky to hold the spoon, so you straight up end up having to feed them. It only reminds you more why nobody should face a heat alone. Even if you feel like a gross intruder at times, you need to be here. He needs someone to make sure he’s okay through all of this.
Siffrin whimpers and begs for you for the next little while, before falling back asleep sometime before lunch. You carefully slide up from under them to grab the lunches that were slip through the food slot on the door and return the breakfast dishes. You meant to do that earlier, but got distracted by the omega that immediately crawled into your lap as soon as you were in range. Siffrin sleeps til dinner, and you transfer the lunch onto the tray with dinner and return the dishes. When they stir, you have to feed them again.
Siffrin has always been cute when he eats. He doesn’t stop being cute now, but he’s also being weird, letting out little noises of perhaps too much appreciation. How that, he really does not need to lick the fork off, but he does anyway, all the while looking up at you with a lustful gaze. It’s extremely… Impactful. That’s the word you were going to use and not something else. It sure impacted you. You try not to think about said impact.
Unfortunately, as soon as you go to clean up the dishes, they scramble into your lap and notice the impact.
“Isa, you do want me!” They smile like a cat that caught the canary.
You know you must be a very dark shade. “That’s not- That’s cause-”
“You want me. And I’m yours.” They begin to pull at the waist band of their boxers.
“Sif, if you keep this up, I’m kicking you off my lap.” You feel like you need to threaten them with this, a rather mild thing but you know it will feel like the end of the world to him. They have an intense need for touch right now, something that only you can provide, but Change is this awkward.
They huff and look away from you. “I don’t get it. Why would you spend my heat with me if you don’t want to mate with me?”
“Because you shouldn’t be going through this alone. It has nothing to do with whether I actually want you or not. M-mating is not on the table, at all.”
That makes them upset, but they just cuddle up to your chest and sit there for a bit. For a bit, you get some relief, until it starts up again.
“Is it because we’re not a mated pair? It’s cause you’re a romantic, right? You want someone you can keep, right? You can keep me. You can make me yours forever.” Their words and their too strong scent is starting to make you dizzy. You don’t know what they’re doing until they expose their neck to you, their bare shoulder and the flesh there smooth and unmarked. Perfect for you. “Bite me, mark me, make me yours. Yours forever.”
You take in a breath, and that’s a mistake. The scent catches you. It would be so easy, to just claim Siffrin now. You love him, don’t you? You want to get bonded someday. Maybe that’s a little too extreme, but you know who you are and you have daydreamed about your bonding ceremony. A mating bite is really no different from a bonding ceremony. It means the same thing. Two, or more, people together, forever. It was an intoxicating thought, and it pulled at your instincts as an alpha. Spit pooled in your mouth. You wanted so badly to bite him.
Your senses return to you a moment later and suddenly you feel disgusted with yourself. Of course you wouldn’t do that. You studied this stuff. An omega can’t properly consent to a mating bite during heat. While it tended to happen during a heat regardless, it was something a couple agreed on beforehand. But it was really hard to resist when an omega offers an alpha to mark them. Especially when that alpha has feelings for that omega.
You’re actually a little mad at Siffrin right now. You know that you shouldn’t be. He’s not in his right mind and he doesn’t know about your feelings. Probably. It’s better to believe he doesn’t know. And even if he did, you know he wouldn’t be able to resist using them against you right now. Actually, no, you know he doesn’t know. He would have used them against you before now if he did. Still, you were pretty upset.
“Off.” You push them gently off of your lap. They let out a noise of distress, which is almost enough to sway you, but not quite. You extract the needy omega from your lap. “Go sit in the corner.”
Sitting in the corner of the nests is not enough to prevent the two of you from brushing legs. A little distance from them, though, allows you to get a better look at them. They are clearly flushed, letting out little huffing breathes every once and a while. You can tell that, no matter how the heat cooks their brain, they are trying to resist it. Anyone with any experience with a heat would tell you that fighting it is no use, but Siffrin has never done this before. No wonder he’s so exhausted if he’s been trying his best to keep his head over water this whole time.
“I’m not mad.” You are a little, but you don’t hold it against him.
“You should be. I’m being disgusting. I know why you don’t want me. I know it’s all scent and closeness and you can’t help how your body reacts. I hate this Isa.” It’s a surprisingly lucid reply.
Not entirely, but you don’t tell him that. “You’re not disgusting. You’re in heat.”
“I am. I know I am. I know I’m sweaty, and gross, and keep begging for things you don’t want. And I know why you don’t want me.” He says it like nobody should ever want him. Not just want, love as well. Like he’s garbage.
“...Sif. It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like?”
How do you explain this without revealing too much? Now is not the time to explain your feelings. Now is really not the time, and he also probably won’t remember this come the end of their heat. But, despite the fact these feelings are only temporary, you aren’t going to let him linger in self doubt any longer than he absolutely has to. You couldn’t do that to him, even if you wanted to.
“You’re my friend, and I’m not going to do anything that changes that. Not when you aren’t actually able to tell me what you want right now. And no, just because you think you’ll forget this does not make it better. Because I will remember, and I’ll feel disgusting.”
You don’t know if that worked, but they’re silent for a little while. “I feel like I need you to touch me or I’m going to explode. I feel like if you don’t, I’m going to die.”
“I’m sorry, bud. I wish that holding you was enough.” But it won’t be.
“I know… I feel so gross Isa. I shouldn’t want to do these things to you. I know I wouldn’t normally. I know something is wrong with me. And neither of us can do anything about it.”
“You could take another bath?”
“Only if you come in with me.”
“Sif! Y-”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my head above water.” Oh. Was he already feeling that weak? You assumed he had some strength given he had crawled into your lap and all.
“Don’t think I can do that, buddy.”
“Then we’re stuck, being gross, until this is over.”
And so you were. The good news is that Siffrin regained some of his lucidity after you rather harshly rejected them. That does help the rest of the night go smoother. Eventually, you allow him to snuggle back up against your side, but he’s lost lap rights, and honestly, with his scent right now, you can’t really allow them in your lap. Your body reacts too strongly to him. It feels violating, you have them sitting on you when you are hard. Not violating to you, but to them. It feels like you’re violating the trust that Siffrin put in you when they selected you to watch over them when they were in heat. You know it was a decision also made in heat brain and thus not logical, but you still feel responsible.
Eventually Siffrin falls asleep again, and you are able to worm your way away from them long enough to take a bath. The tub is really overly big here, clearly designed for two people. You don’t get long in here, as Sif does wake up and you can hear them start to panic from the main room. You rush back, still soaked, and hold them. Siffrin clings to you, ungloved hands digging into your back. You apologize and hold them for the rest of the night. They fall asleep curled up against your chest and you can’t help but think about how much you would love this in any other situation. This is probably the only time you’ll ever get to touch them, and even then there’s no way for you to enjoy this. A heat is hell for everyone involved, regardless of what romance authors say.
Day three was awful. Day four is better, but it’s not good.
You don’t do much. Siffrin is too weak to really get up. But they’re needy. They beg for you. They say dirty words you never expected to come out of their mouth. They beg for you to mate with them. You don’t even understand the appeal at this point, when he can’t even really move. Forgive you for being a romantic, but you’d like your partner to be able to actually reciprocate during sex.
When Siffrin isn’t horny, they’re just kind of sad. They mope and get silent for hours, but you keep finding them looking at you. At least not with any lust this time. Just mostly melancholy, like someone looking at a person they are no longer close to. It makes you so uncomfortable.
“I’m not mad at you. I just won’t mate with you.” You try to bridge the gap.
“I know.” Understanding, at last. “But… Are you still going to want to be around me after this? Once this heat is done, will you still be okay with me?”
“Of course.” And you mean it. Honestly, if you just had a crush on them at this point, this heat would probably have killed it. But it is not a crush, but a delicate little love. And even more than that, Siffrin is your friend. Your pun buddy. You aren’t going to give up on him, just because you will struggle for a long time to forget the image of him on your lap, offering his neck to you.
Siffrin doesn’t answer, and you know he doesn’t believe you. He doesn’t talk to you again for a while. Even the next couple meals are completely silent. It feels bad. Feels gross. He feels sick, in a way you aren’t used to. Like all the hope has drained out of him. It scares you a lot. You try to cheer him up. They just don’t respond. You sit in a long silence, all too aware of the fact that neither your words nor your actions can do anything for him right now. It feels awful.
So day four is better, but it wasn’t good. Day five is just wrap up.
The intense scent of Siffrin’s heat has finally been cut, and you know that he’s almost done. Thank Change. Any longer and you all would have had to think about leaving without him. Siffrin is still pretty sad today, but he tries to cover it up in the most Siffrin way imaginable.
“Sorry about all that, I got caught in the heat of the moment.” He smiles in that cute way he does right before making a pun and you melt a little.
You laugh and laugh, and slap the floor with your amusement. “Yes! That’s a good one, Sif!”
The two of you laugh over stupid puns for a while and you help him up. A bit of strength has returned to him, and now he does really want that cold bath. You can relate. Like last time, you sit by the wall. This time, you bring one of the romance novels from the side of the nest and Siffrin only growls at you a little for disturbing his nest. He also won’t let you put the book back, so you are sort of stuck with it.
You raise a brow at the content of this book. It’s… At lot spicier than the romance novels you normally read. Really, you can tell what this is for, to give the omegas something to get themselves off with. Actually, you’re kind of surprised that Siffrin never went in that direction. While he tried to get your hands in his pants, his own always steered clear of that area. …You try not to dwell on the idea of your friend masturbating right now, especially when he’s in the bath.
Speaking of which…
“Isa?”
“What’s up Sif?”
There’s silence for a moment before. “...I can’t get out.”
“Oh.”
You really should have known that it was going to go in this direction. Siffrin was still extremely weak and struggled to get to his feet before. Of course he can’t get out of the tub. On the fortunate end, Siffrin is pretty much completely lucid at this point, so you can just ask him if he’d be okay with this.
“You want me to lift you out?”
“Yes… Just don’t look.”
You laugh a little. “Of course I won’t. I’ve kept your privacy for this long, haven’t I?”
You hear a muffled sound from the bathroom that you are sure is an answer of some kind, but clearly not said loud enough for you to hear it. You just smile and continue on. Eyes shut, you make your way into the bathroom.
“Okay, tell me when I’m getting close.”
“...Bit more forward.”
You reach the edge of the tub. “Take my arms, alright?”
You feel little hands on your arms and follow them to a familiar chest. You hear a squeak as you go to lift them. “Ah! Sorry! Did I grab the wrong place?”
“M-move your hands down a little…”
You are not sure what you grabbed on his chest, but you hope that it wasn’t anything too embracing. Your instinct, built up from the last few days, tells you not to trust where Siffrin guides your hands, but you ignore it. This time he’s normal, just a little weak. You manage to lift him out of the tub and to his feet.
“...Could you help towel me off?” Maybe he’s not totally lucid after all.
“Think you can do that yourself buddy.”
“R-right.”
You make your way out of the bathroom and sit against the wall once more. Siffrin returned, thankfully clothed, a bit later and heads back to the nest.
“You’re sure they’ll be able to get the scent out of all of these things?” Sif covers his nose with one hand. “It smells really bad.”
“It’s not so bad.”
“It doesn’t smell bad to you because you’re an alpha. Alphas are supposed to like the way that omegas smell. It stinks to me.” Sif crinkles their nose in the cutest way and you try not to think about it.
“That’s a little weird. When I was an omega, I didn’t mind my own smell. Huh…” You frown. Maybe Siffrin is just more sensitive to smells than you were.
“You were an omega?” Oh, right, you haven’t told them this.
“Yeah, but I Changed. It… Wasn’t the right fit for me.” You couldn’t explain the long nights of thoughts you had about it, how you wanted to change everything, your thoughts, your form, your classification. You wanted to become as far from what you were before as possible. You killed what you were before with your own hands, and molded something new out of the remains.
“...I didn’t know you could change that.”
“Do they not do that where you are from?”
Siffrin shakes his head, then pauses. “I don’t think so…” He seems almost a little distressed. You change the subject.
“Anyway, to answer your question, yeah, they’ll be able to clean this place out pretty easy. Everything here, from the walls to the books, are specially Crafted so that it’s easy to get the scent out of them.” Heat rooms were special that way. There was a reason that some people would go to an inn rather than stay in their own homes during a heat. But mostly these rooms were used for travelers who ran out of heat suppressants or had them fail out of nowhere. Or apparently for people who didn’t know they had heats at all, which is currently Siffrin’s situation.
“Good, I didn’t want to make a mess of this place.” You hear just a bit of guilt in his voice. “But it really stinks.”
“We’ll be out of here soon enough. But, for now, how about we pass the time with more board games?”
That gets some interest out of them, and the two of you spend the rest of the night playing board games. You can really tell the difference in Siffrin now compared to the first night. No longer quite heat brained, he cheats correctly, with efficiency, and you continue to pretend that you don’t know that’s why he’s beating you.
Day five was just clean up, and one day six, you can finally leave the heat room.
You have absolutely no doubt that the two of you stink once you leave, but, you make the best of what you can, bathing, changing, and hoping that the scent proof closet lived up to its name. As you were packing to leave, you notice Sif giving you a look.
“Something wrong?” you ask. That makes them flinch a little. “Sif, I can tell you’ve got something on your mind. We still have some time before we have to be out. Do you want to talk about it?”
“...This won’t change things between us, right?” His voice is quiet.
“It won’t. Cause nothing happened. You were a little needy, but honestly, I’ve seen worse heats.” You give them a big smile.
“Isa, I know what I said and did. It wasn’t okay. I said terrible things. I-”
“And nothing came of them. That’s just how a heat is, Sif. You’re fine. I promise, I’m not going to hold it against you.” But, you probably weren’t going to forget it anytime soon. Siffrin’s longing voice, begging you to mark them, was going to stay in your mind for a long, long while.
You’re not sure he quite believes you, but they nod. “I believe you. I just… I really wish I didn’t remember most of this.”
“You’ll probably forget.” Wrong thing to say. “I mean, because most people don’t remember their heats super well. So, you’ll probably forget it eventually. And, once we get you some proper suppressants, this won’t be a problem again.”
“Yeah, hopefully not.”
You finish packing up your stuff and disassemble and put away the nest components. It seems to make Sif a little sad to see it go, but you know that’s just left over sentimentality about it all. The two of you head out. You let Mirabelle know through the door yesterday that Siffrin’s heat had come to an end, and though they were still a little shaky, you could all take off today.
“You made us wait forever!” Bonnie throws up their arms in the air as soon as they spot you. “And you stink!!”
“...Sorry.” Sif looks at the floor.
“It’ll wear off in a few days,” you promise. You did clean yourself as best you could, but the smell was lingering on your dirty clothes in your luggage. Despite how convenient it might be, you couldn’t just throw that stuff out.
Mira looks to you both like she wants to hug you, but resists, likely due to said smell. “We missed you so much! Is everything okay? Are you both alright?”
“Nothing happened, correct?” Madame is looking right at you. You blush.
“Nothing. Just like I promised.”
“Something could have happened?” Bonnie looks to both of you. “Frin just had nesting sickness, right?”
You smile. “Yes, just nesting sickness.” Bonbon was too young to know what actually happens during a heat, so like most children, is told that it’s just a very bad fever where someone smells really bad and wants to make a nest for a week. Basically the truth, but without discussing the adult aspects of what a heat does.
“Well, you’re normal now! So let’s go!!” Never willing to take a moment longer than necessary, Bonnie takes your arm and drags you forward.
You see Siffrin smiling, but it doesn’t reach their eyes. You hope they’re alright. Heats are never fun for anyone, except in romance novels. You smile at him, and he looks back at you embarrassed. You hope things haven’t changed between you just over something as silly as a little heat.
“Ready to take to the road, Sif?”
“All ready!”
With a smile you know is fake, they follow you and the others out of the inn. You really hope that this is just a little bump in the road. You only want good things for Siffrin from here on out. They deserve it after a heat that rough.
One week later, you sit by their bedside, looking at their bandaged face, and thinking that the world has never quite been kind to Siffrin.