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“Come on, Caz! Come in the water! Gillian pleaded, standing over her and dripping water all over her bare legs as Flora and Calamity raced around them playing catch. With any luck they would be utterly exhausted come the evening, the sea air and sun doing them both the world of good, and their guardians some peace and quiet. Caroline looked up at her, pursing her lips as she considered her proposal. “It’s lovely, so warm! I promise!”
“I’m fine here,” she said sternly, leaning back and propping herself up with her hands as if to make her point. She was glad she was wearing sunglasses - she knew that they were opaque enough to conceal the fact that she was running her eyes down the farmer’s toned legs, silently appreciating her lightly tanned skin and the way the water droplets were running in rivulets down to the sand. “You go, though - you enjoy it.”
“Mummy, COME ON!” Flora yelled, coming to throw herself on the blanket next to her and tugging at her arm. “It’s no FUN without you! You’ve got to swim, you’ve GOT TO!”
“How much sugar have you had today?” Caroline murmured, making a silly face at her daughter as Flora stuck out her tongue. “Honestly, you’re full of beans… I don’t really need to come in, do I?” She really was perfectly happy in the sun, loving watching the way that Gillian had cavorted in the sea with the girls and made them shriek and giggle. She seemed to find it so much easier to be playful and silly with them than she did, and part of her envied her ability to be so free.
“Yes, yes, YES!” chanted Flora and Calamity, Gillian joining in too and clapping along, bouncing rather distractingly. The simple black one piece that she was wearing wasn’t anything overly remarkable, but on Gillian it was a work of art.. It showed off every one of her curves, her muscles defined against the thin lycra in a distracting display that almost had Caroline panting. She didn’t know what it was about Barcelona - it had turned her into a creature built of lust, sun and sangria, and she found that she hardly knew what to do with herself after each day in her company.
“Really?” she huffed, and Gillian giggled, reaching out to her to pull her up off the sand.
“Come on, goldilocks, time to get wet,” she laughed, and Caroline felt herself flushing. That was one of the reasons that she wasn’t wanting to swim - she hoped that the signs of her lust that she had for her stepsister wouldn’t be visible when she stood up, embarrassed by just how bad it had gotten. With Flora in her bed she hadn’t been able to… relieve herself… in any of the ways that she normally might, and even her attempts in the shower that morning had been interrupted by little fists knocking at the door.
After pulling off her cover up and delaying as much as she possibly could, folding it neatly and tucking it into her bag before making a show of getting her suncream out, Caroline glanced at her companions with a little grimace. “Why don't you all go without me and I'll catch up?” she suggested hopefully, knowing that if they went in first then she could dawdle as much as possible so that she didn't have to spend longer than necessary in the water. It wasn't that she didn't want to - it was just the thought of being so close to an almost naked Gillian that she knew would make things awkward.
“No way, lady,” Gillian shot back, snatching the lotion out of her hand and uncapping it before she held it aloft. “I know your game. Let us go in before you whilst you drag your feet. As if I'm going to let you do that…”
Caroline flushed, hoping it wasn't overly noticeable under the shade of her hat. Clearly satisfied that she would be coming in a moment, Flora and Calamity picked up their spades and threw themselves back in the hole that they had started digging earlier, and Caroline was on her own with a smirking Gillian. “W-what are you going to do?” she asked, her voice shaking as she noticed Gillian's eyes glance at her chest momentarily. She could hardly blame her - the suit was a little lower cut than she thought it would be when she had purchased it on a whim, and she was showing far more cleavage than was probably appropriate for a woman her age. She shifted her weight to her other foot, looking apprehensively at the farmer, and felt her chest wobble a little. It would be distracting for anyone…
“Put your suncream on, of course,” Gillian murmured, raising her eyebrows at her as she reached out for her shoulder. “Turn around, then.”
Caroline did as she asked, not really knowing what to do with her hands as she waited in anticipation of her touch. She had wondered so often what those nimble fingers might be able to do, and she shivered when she felt the first gentle touch of her fingertips swiping over her back. “Make sure you get it all,” she mumbled, more for something to say than anything else. “You know how easily I burn…”
That was an understatement. She was so fair that sometimes it was like she only had to see the sun and her skin turned red, tight and uncomfortable, and she had been sure to be meticulous with her lotion application throughout their trip so far as a result. She'd managed well, only turning slightly pink in the few days that they had been on Spanish soil, but there was still plenty of time to go.
“Don't you worry,” Gillian said quietly, squirting some cream into her hands before dropping the bottle back on the rug. “I'll make sure you don't turn into a lobster…”
Caroline allowed her eyes to slide shut as the farmer started to massage her shoulders, trying to bite back a moan as her clever fingers kneaded the muscles of her back. Surely application of suncream didn't usually feel this good? Or require such careful application to every inch of her skin? She could feel Gillian's warm breath ghosting over her skin, and she felt her arousal - which had already been an ache between her thighs - ramp up even further, a knot of tension in her abdomen that begged to be released.
“Your back is done,” Gillian murmured, and she felt rather than saw her bend down to retrieve the cream. “Now… don't forget your front.”
Caroline swallowed, wishing that she hadn’t packed her cover-up away - she needed it right now. Her nipples had stiffened under the tight lycra, and she knew it would be more than obvious if she turned around. She could feel Gillian waiting expectantly behind her, and she could do nothing but awkwardly fold one of her arms over her breasts and turn around, reaching for the lotion as she avoided the other woman’s eyes.
“Are you sure you don't want to take the girls and I'll catch you up?” Caroline asked a little desperately, flushing even redder as the brunette looked at her with a knowing smirk.
“No, I want to make sure you're safe,” she said sternly, raising her eyebrow at her. “Come on, madam, get busy.”
Caroline's idea of getting busy would probably have been to drag Gillian back to their apartment so that she could have her way with her, but there were many, many reasons why that might not be a good idea. Instead, she lowered her arm and uncapped the suncream, squirting a little into her palm. The pleasant coconut scent if it wafted up, warmed by the sun, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to smell it again without thinking of this moment. When her fingers met her chest she looked up, noticing that she wasn't the only one who was distracted - Gillian was watching her progress carefully, clearly struggling to keep her gaze off her cleavage.
A flirty response was right on the tip of her tongue, but she bit it back as her fingers slid over the swell of her breasts, dipping between them and gently massaging the cream into her soft skin. She even let her fingers breech the fabric that covered them, almost but not quite giving herself a little brush against her nipple as she made sure she was prepared for the sunshine. Gillian swallowed, a flush rising on her own cheeks, and Caroline was both gratified and mortified at herself in equal measure.
“There…” she eventually said when she had covered everywhere she could, capping the lotion again and throwing it back towards her bag. “Happy now?”
“Yup…” Gillian gave back in a strangled time, and then turned to the girls. “Last one in the sea is a rotten egg!”
Caroline rolled her eyes, knowing that she would be the one claiming that dubious honour… not that she cared.
Some time later the four of them had almost exhausted themselves, Caroline getting drawn into a fast and furious game of tag whilst shrieking about getting her hair wet. The water was cool and pleasant after a day of baking on the beach, and she found that she enjoyed it far more than she thought that she might. It helped, of course, that she was able to witness the spectacle up close of Gillian cavorting in the water, her muscles rippling and her eyes sparkling as she played with the girls. She found herself even falling a little more in love with her when, in a brief respite from play, Gillian spent a while with Calamity clinging to her back like a limpet whilst Flora clung to her front, and she carried them around in the water for a while. Gillian was easy to love, and Caroline had it bad enough that she was endeared by almost everything she did.
Even nicer was the moment when Gillian had been catcher, and Caroline had made a show of running away but was secretly glad when Gillian threw herself at her, catching her around the waist and tumbling both of them under the water. The farmer's nimble fingers had been all over her as they dragged each other back to the surface, sputtering and laughing as they found their footing.
Now the girls had splashed their way out of the water once again, intent on digging their way to China if their enthusiastic shovelling of sand was anything to go by, and Caroline was about to get out too when Gillian slipped her hand into the crook of her elbow.
“Stay in with me for a bit?” she asked in a low voice, a hint of pleading in her tone. “Those two will be alright if we keep a careful eye, won't they?”
“I guess so…” Caroline murmured, watching her daughter dancing around on the sand and waving her spade in the air whilst Calamity cheered. It was truly wonderful seeing her this happy, and she resolved that they must do holidays like this more often. “Why?”
“Just wanted a moment…” Gillian replied, offering her a cheeky smile and tugging her into slightly deeper water. Her tone was enough to have an ache settling between Caroline's thighs once again, and she couldn't help raising her eyebrows at the smaller woman.
“What do you think you're playing at?” she breathed, and as they got to a point where the water almost covered their chests she curled her arm around the farmer's waist, pulling her closer. “Enjoyed applying my suncream, did you?”
“Not as much as I think you enjoyed it,” Gillian teased, letting her eyes drop to the blonde's chest as she raised her eyebrows. “Don't think I didn't notice…”
“Yes, well,” Caroline smirked, reaching below the water and taking the opportunity to squeeze Gillian's arse - something that she had been longing to do forever. “We didn't exactly have a chance to finish what we started earlier, did we?” The happiness that she felt at her words was far greater than the frustration, never having believed that they might get to this point or she would ever have the privilege of touching her lithe body, and it felt like a little glow was emanating from her chest.
It had all started the night before, the two of them forced into the same bed when Flora and Calamity had fallen asleep in the only other one. Caroline had been terrified that she might give herself away, and Gillian had been apprehensive too if the look on her face had been anything to go by. Still, lubricated by a few sangrias they had snuggled closer and closer, and it hadn't been long until they crossed the boundary between them completely and had kissed. Caroline couldn't even have said which one of them it was who started it, only remembering the luscious feeling of the brunette's lips on hers and how everything suddenly seemed to make sense.
Kissing had led to conversation, giggles and the odd tear, and it had been amazing to have discovered that Gillian felt exactly the same as her. They had talked almost all night wrapped in each other's arms, finally dropping off into a deep slumber. Gillian had woken her again just before dawn with gentle kisses pressed to her neck and collarbone, soft sighs leading to whimpers as they started to explore each other for the first time. They would have gotten a lot further, too, if they hadn't been interrupted by the girls… As it was Caroline had pretended to still be asleep whilst holding the duvet clamped tightly over her, Gillian having managed to undo all of the buttons of her sleep shirt leaving her exposed. The farmer had still been in her t-shirt - a disappointment, but probably best if the change in their relationship was to remain hidden for the time being. Something that Gillian was risking with her current actions…
“Gillian!” she hissed as the other woman's hands breached the cups of her swimsuit - underwater, thankfully - and popped her breasts out, the pale globes more than visible in the crystal clear water. “What are you-” Her words were cut off when the brunette ducked under the water, wrapping her lips around one of her nipples in a bold move that had a breathless gasp escaping her. The contrast between the heat of her mouth and the cool ocean was exquisite, and she felt like her legs were turning to jelly.
When the farmer came up for air - looking incredibly proud of herself, it had to be said - Caroline quickly covered herself up again, blushing furiously as she glared at her, but Gillian only smiled wider.
“Just wanted to give you something to keep you going,” she said coyly, raking her hands through her hair, sparkling droplets of water gleaming on her tanned skin. She looked like some kind of dream, and Caroline hardly knew what to do with herself. She wanted so badly to reciprocate but didn't dare, not with the shrieks of the girls echoing from not so far away and the presence of other beachgoers.
“Keep me going, or get me going?” Caroline muttered darkly, making a grab for the brunette but growling when she danced away. She wished that they were alone, that there was no one else around so that she could pay her back in kind, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to stop until she had her screaming. She resolved that one day she would do exactly that - they would have to be a little controlled in that regard given that they weren’t alone in the apartment, but there would - hopefully - be opportunities once they were home.
“You saying you’re easy, Caz?” Gillian hummed, her smirk growing even wider. “Thought you’d play harder to get, somehow… One little touch and you’re up for anything.”
“I’ve played hard to get for years!” Caroline retorted, and Gillian just giggled even more. “Besides, how is it fair when you’re floating about looking like that?” She gestured at Gillian with a little frown, pouting when she swam a little closer and wrapped her arms around her waist.
“Have you ever thought that perhaps I can’t resist touching you either?” she whispered, looking up at her with a mix of shyness and desire. “Honestly, Caz, it’s hard at the best of times, but this last week… Christ…” She closed her eyes and let out a little moan, and Caroline blinked at her. She had never really thought of herself as an object of desire, someone that somebody might fantasise about or dream of touching, but here was Gillian… She marvelled once again at her, not knowing what she had done to deserve the level of affection that she had demonstrated to her over the last 24 hours.
The declaration of love that had come after the kiss had been overwhelming, the words falling from Gillian’s lips almost by mistake when she was telling her how long she had waited to tell her how beautiful she was, how she longed to be with her, and how she had hidden away how she felt for so long that it had become second nature. Caroline knew exactly how she felt - she had done the same, after all - and yet afterwards Gillian had acted almost as if she had done something wrong. She hadn’t - nothing had been more wonderful to her ears than those three little words.
“Are they looking?” Caroline mumbled, shooting a glance back at Flora and Calamity who were now in their hole, flinging spade after spade worth of sand out after them. They were paying the two of them no attention at all, and Caroline took her opportunity. Seizing Gillian around the waist she turned them until her back was to the shore, dropping down until her shoulders were under the water as she lifted her thighs and wrapped them around her waist as she captured her lips. Her kiss was firm and demanding, wanting to pour into it all the pent up desire that had accumulated in the last day as well as in the intervening years since she had met her. Even when she hadn’t particularly liked Gillian at the beginning, she had still found her to have a quality that she couldn’t put her finger on that made her feel funny things. Things that were, right now, driving her to push her tongue into her mouth as she cupped her arse…
“S-s-shit,” Gillian mumbled when she finally pulled away, pecking her once more on her salty cheek before depositing her back on the ocean floor, standing up like nothing had happened. “Shit, Caz… how long til the girls go to bed?”
“In their separate beds? Well…” Caroline hummed, tapping her lip as she turned to look at the children once again.
“Not separate, they can sleep together again,” Gillian growled, poking her playfully in the side. “You needn’t think you’re getting away from me that easily, Mckenzie-Dawson…”
“Who said I wanted to get away?” Caroline shot back, raising her eyebrows at her. “For what you’ve just done, I think you’ve pretty much sealed your fate in that regard. I fully intend to have you begging for mercy by the end of the night.” She said the words with such an innocent expression that Gillian looked at her in surprise.
“How did I never know this side of you existed?” she asked wonderingly, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked at her appraisingly. “I always knew there was far more to you than meets the eye - I mean, seeing how bloody ragey you get sometimes, I knew you were passionate…”
“Surprised?” Caroline smirked, and turned to face out to sea, Gillian standing next to her and facing towards the shore as she leant to whisper in her ears. “You have no idea what I might be capable of… how many times I might have thought of having my way with you, or how I might use my fingers to drive you mad, or my mouth…”
“Caz…” Gillian whimpered, starting to fidget as she leant closer to her. “You’re being cruel…”
“Only as cruel as you were,” Caroline reasoned, turning around again and doing her best to act nonplussed. She tucked a sodden lock of hair behind her ear, shooting the other woman a little smile. “Shall we get out?”
“Caz…” Gillian reached out to grab her hand, giving her a pleading expression. “Do you mean it? All those things? That you’ve… thought of me… like that?”
“Would I have said them if I didn’t?” Caroline asked in a low murmur, starting to wade towards the shore with Gillian trailing behind her. “And, believe me, the minute I get a chance I’ll be showing you, too.”
When Flora and Calamity had gone to bed that night and they were sure that they were asleep, the two women made short work of tidying up the apartment for the following day and then disappeared into Caroline’s room, wedging a chair up against the door handle in the hope of keeping them out if they got up in the night. It was unlikely - the sun, sea and sand had taken it out of them, and they had both been nodding their heads by the time they got back home. It meant that they could finally be alone…
“Are you sure about this?” she asked Gillian, feeling a sudden surge of anxiety. It had been one thing teasing each other and stealing the odd touch, it was quite another when they had been about to cross the boundaries of their friendship in what felt like a permanent way… They would never be able to go back afterwards. Gillian looked back at her, both of them standing at the end of the bed as the last of the sunlight beamed in through the window, the sky a beautiful lilac as the sun started to set.
“I’m s-s-sure, if you are?” Gillian mumbled, looking a little insecure. “But… I’m not perfect, Caz… I’ve got… you know…” She grimaced, gesturing down at her body, and Caroline knew what she meant. The scars that she had seen some evidence of already were littered across her body, the product of Eddie and his cruelty as well as years of hard work on the farm.
“You’re perfect to me,” Caroline whispered, looking at her adoringly. “And… I’m not perfect, either. I’m…” She looked down at herself, knowing that she quite literally carried the weight of her grief, and disliked herself intensely for it. “Well… You could have anyone, Gillian. And…” She stopped short of asking the other woman why she would want her in return - Gillian had been clear in her feelings, and she didn’t want to show any doubt in the truth of her words. It was more that she was concerned that she would somehow let Gillian down, not be the woman that she hoped that she would be underneath the layers of fancy clothing…
“You’re beautiful,” Gillian reassured her, moving to stand in front of her. “So, so beautiful…” She leant forwards to kiss her, her trembling fingers going to the buttons of the shirt that she had changed into when they returned from the beach and starting to undo it carefully. Caroline kissed her back, the fierce passion that she had suspected still there but tempered by tenderness. When Gillian finally divested her of it, shortly followed by her bra and shorts, she dropped her eyes to the ground as she flushed.
“Caroline, look at me…” Gillian whispered, and Carolone looked up, immediately a little taken aback by the look of abject devotion in her eyes. As their gaze met, the brunette took a little step back and started stripping herself of her clothes until she stood naked in front of her, still shaking a little with her fingers flexing at her sides as if she was fighting to stop herself from covering herself up. It was an expression of absolute trust, and enough for Caroline to strip off her underwear too. As the light hit Gillian from behind, golden beams kissing her skin, Caroline slowly shook her head.
“How did I get this lucky?” she whispered, holding out her hand towards Gillian and skimming her fingers around her waist. There were scars there, for sure, but they were just another part of the woman that she loved. Not to accept them would have been ridiculous. “You say I’m beautiful, Gillian, but look at you…”
The emotional smile that the brunette gave her in response was heartbreaking, and she surged upwards to kiss her again, groaning as her fingers slipped around her waist. It wasn’t long until they fell onto the bed, giggling when it gave an ominous creak.
“This is it,” Caroline murmured as she gently pressed Gillian to lay on her back, covering her body with hers as she stroked a lock of hair away from her face. “Last chance to turn back…”
“Not a chance,” Gillian mumbled, and reached up to kiss her once again.
Of all of the experiences that Caroline had ever had in her life, it was this one that transcended her to somewhere new… somewhere that she was loved and accepted just as she was, with all of her outer barriers stripped away to reveal her core. Gillian was the same - she saw a side of her that she had never known existed, and when they were lying in each other’s arms afterwards it was in a kind of stunned silence, lost for words after what they had experienced.
“This is it, isn’t it?” Gillian asked after a while, lazily tracing circled across Caroline’s hip as she met her eyes. “For us, I mean?”
“This is it,” Caroline nodded, feeling a surge of emotion as she tightened her arms around her. There was a kind of unspoken understanding between them both - they belonged to each other now, and they were never going to let each other go.
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