Chapter Text
Hate is a strong word… I want to hate him... I want to bang his head until he realizes what he’s doing to me.. but I can’t… I can’t bring myself to hate my father. Even though he’s marrying me off to some jerk-off.
I just wish Satoru was here now. He wouldn’t let this happen, he would make sure that I wouldn’t be married into this wretched clan. But he’s the strongest, the honored one… I can’t expect a man like him to waste his time on a weakling like me… My technique is subpar at best. I’m physically weak, and my technique only kills curses.
I wasn’t even meant to be born… I was an accident, I’m 10 years younger than Satoru. No one told me I was, but it’s hard not to realize when there was no point in me being born. Why have another when you have him… the greatest sorcerer of today.
I guess it’s good to understand where I stand in the Jujutsu world. I know he will make sure I know my place...
When I first met him, I was about 13 years old... clinging to the back of Satoru’s yukata. It was supposed to be our day. We hopped from bakery to bakery stuffing our faces with sweets... the good stuff! Crepes, cakes, and daifuku! I can still feel how the sugar was making me feel all jittery, we were laughing and having so much fun, but Satoru got a call.
I watched the lighthearted look in his eyes disappear and change to annoyance. I just watched him.
The iPhone 5 came out the week before and Satoru had to have it. He had the money and I got his old phone, so I was happy. It was my first phone too. It was like having a mini computer in the palm of my hand and I played Angry Birds like crazy.
Life was easier then.
Satoru got off the phone and said that the Zen’in clan wanted to have a meeting with him immediately. I wondered why he just didn’t tell them to wait until he was done spending time with me. He’s the strongest, he should be able to do whatever he wants.
He would just give me a noogie and say I just wouldn’t understand. I wanted to understand, maybe he just didn’t want me to. He would go on rants about it all… His best friend was gone, he needed someone, so I would listen.
I didn’t have anyone else.
After the call, he was going to take me home, but I begged and begged him to take me with him. I didn’t want our time to be up, then I would have to deal with Dad.. and I just couldn’t do that. Maybe I should have gone home then, now that I know everything that would occur. But I couldn’t see the future, so we went to a store bought yukutas, and caught the next train out of Shibuya.
On the ride there, I should’ve known that it wasn’t going to be good when I watched Satoru’s leg bounce and bounce and bounce the whole ride.
I really should have known.
When we arrived at the estate, the gates were so big and the guards were looming over us at their posts. We walked in and I felt looks of disgust come my way, I folded in on myself and grabbed onto the back of Satoru’s yakuta, staring into the blue fabric.
I heard a man start yelling, but I don’t remember what he was going on about. He had a bottle of booze in his hand. He reminded me of Dad.
Satoru told me to go to the garden and wait for him to finish, he promised me that we would eat wherever I wanted after.
The garden was pretty, so I wasn’t too upset about not being in the meeting with Satoru. I heard stories about the Zen’in’s hatred for women, so I guess I should have been happy I wasn’t in a room full of them.
I walked around for a little while, until something caught my eye. There was a whole section of just white roses. They were so beautiful, and they smelled so sweet. I couldn’t help myself, I needed one. So, I took it.
I sat down on a bench near by, and just looked at the pretty little white rose and pondered on what I would pick for dinner. Everything suddenly got dark.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realize someone was right in front of me. The man grabbed the flower from my hand and crushed it in his own.
“I’m sorry, I just thought it was so pretty…”
“And that gives you the right to take flowers from my garden, you need to learn your place girl.”
“Relax, Naoya! She’s just a kid.”
“A kid that needs to learn her place as a woman.”
“She’s not one of yours, you got that? You don’t get to tell her what to do.”
The look in the man’s eye was something I’d never seen before, it made me scared, it still makes me scared, but I know what means now.
Satoru picked me up like a bag and said bye before hot-footing it out of there. I hoped I never had to step foot in there again, but that didn’t happen.
I soon realized that was the heir to the Zen’in clan. I should’ve been more scared, but I had Satoru then, and I knew he would keep me safe.
Once we made it back to the streets, Satoru and I had tenkaippin, my choice like he promised. He told me that he was going to become a teacher and that he would be a teacher’s aide soon. It was strange to see how much he has changed, I was... I still am happy for him, he’s doing what he’s always wanted.
But teaching takes up a lot of time, so I wouldn’t see him as much. A couple of times a year, I understand why, he’s an adult, who would want to hang out with their little sister…
He took me home and I hugged him, I wish it lasted longer. I thanked him for taking the time to spend with me. He rubbed my head and left.
I wished for a lot of things that night, but none of them came true.