Chapter Text
I gasp as she squeezes tighter on my throat. My head falls back on her shoulder as she continues working on my upper half, my moans freely escaping my lips at this point. I wonder what she is thinking at this moment. The thought of her poker face dropping, even just for a minute, has my head spinning. Her chest is firm against my bare back, her shirt tickling my back and sides as it flows gently in the water.
Her hands work confidently and forcefully, even though the knots and aches in my muscles have long since gone away. Although I would never confess it, I take it as a sign that she is doing this because she cares, that the massage was just an excuse to touch me. I know better. She just wants to get a rise out of me. She would do anything for the content she needs. But just for a moment, I can give in to her and loosen my control.
She finally comes to a stop, and I come close to begging for her to keep going, to never let go and go even further. She leans forward, and I feel her eyes on my face. I look up at her for a glimpse into her mind. Her face reveals nothing, as always. She makes direct eye contact before shifting her gaze to my lips.
“Do you feel better?” she asks gently. My brain scrapes together the words to answer her.
“...a little bit.” She nods and moves back. I follow her every movement, watching her mouth form the words, “I am going to go take a shower…” and she creeps back and leaves the hot tub. As I watch her go, I sink into the water.
For the first time in decades, my thoughts have come to a standstill. I’ve always been the one in control, and it seems the more time I spend with Sara, the more I have to adapt around her. Never has a person been so direct and confrontational. Even my family would skirt around me for the most part. And I knew how to get my way in spite of them anyway.
I comb my fingers through my wet hair and rub my eyes. Where do I go from here? I meant it when I said she would be safe for the next 24 hours, although the temptation was there. Technically, a full day has almost passed. I could just wait and get rid of her in the morning. There should be enough footage to make a nice souvenir of our time together. But the more I consider it, the more I feel disgusted with myself. In a way, it seems like a waste to take her presence away. Sara is frustrating and in a way like no one I’ve met. And even so, I find myself wanting to spend more and more of my time with her. I know she is lying to me just as much, if not more so than I do to her, but I can see in her eyes that she is not afraid of me.
My eyes locked on the camera she left behind. I pull myself up and out of the tub and grab the camera. As I continue walking, my thoughts linger on one thing: Sara’s warm touch.
The warm water hits my back as I pound on the shower wall. What were you thinking? I can’t believe I got so carried away with him. I’m still not confident if he is who he says he is. If he were a murderer, why would he ever trust me to film him and expose what he has done? If he’s not a serial killer, then that would make him severely unwell anyway for claiming to be a murderer.
Even still, I am drawn to Aaron. If he is a killer, I understand why his victims stay near him. He says the most off-putting thing one moment, but makes you feel like the most interesting person the next. Aaron has consistently invaded my personal space since this morning, but when I helped him fix his hair at the lake, he seemed startled. The man was clearly touch-starved. Between holding his hand after his tantrum and the massage downstairs, touch seems to be something he wants but has no way of asking for.
For a grown man, he really acts like a little kid. Yet, there is something in his eyes that calls to me. I’ve been telling myself all day that it is because I think he is the best subject for my video, but I’m now thinking it’s just another lie. There’s something personal between us. It’s as if we are the first ones to see each other and truly understand each other's deepest desires.
By tomorrow, I will either be dead or have the making of a grand finale for my channel. I think at this point, if Aaron wanted to kill me, he would have done so already. But there is still a small chance that I am in danger here and that my guard still needs to be up around him.
As I start to scrub my scalp, I hear footsteps just outside of the bathroom. My heart jumps inside of my chest, my hands still as I try to hear any movement outside the door.