Chapter Text
“Who the fuck is going to UW?”
Despite the cacophony perpetually plaguing the hallways of South Park High, Stan Marsh’s voice was nearly unmistakable, the baritone booming above all the end-of-school-day sounds.
Kyle closed his locker before following the noirette’s gaze.
Kyle had the misfortune of having a locker directly facing the “Hats Off to Our Seniors” display that featured vibrant drawings of graduation caps decorated to represent each senior’s choice in school. It was a sight Kyle dreaded looking at, especially as the wall became more crowded with each passing day. For a while, there had been the sole blue and white Bulldog cap representing Wendy Testaburger’s commitment to Yale’s incoming class of Freshman, but now there appeared a sea of sketches, some crude and some elaborate, proudly displaying school names or armed forces branches, symbols, and mascots.
Kyle surveyed the wall until his eyes fell on two pieces of paper, one almost entirely blank save for the neatly scrawled school name, directly next to another reading the same, only instead in chicken scratch with purple and gold scribbles.
“Dude, you seriously can’t tell?” He scoffed, shouldering his backpack.
Stan squinted at the board for another moment. Then, a lightbulb.
“Ew, they’re seriously following each other to college?”
Kyle shrugged, “I’m more surprised the Tweaks are allowing him to move so far. He practically runs their shop.”
He said, rather than pointing out Stan’s hypocrisy.
Stan Marsh’s grad cap craft was third row up fourth to the left. The University of Connecticut, even more blue and white, with a brown turd-like blob in the middle meant to represent his commitment to their football program. The whole thing really could be considered a pitiful commitment to the other great love of Stan’s life who’d be attending school just an hour away.
Forget the fact that they were currently on yet another break, the only thing that would keep Wendy and Stan away from each other was each other.
Suddenly a presence pushed its way between the two friends, a long arm draping over either boy’s shoulders.
“Whatchu talking about?” Kenny asked, sticking his neck up to try and maneuver his mouth from under the neck of his parka without the assistance of his hands.
“Tweek and Craig made a decision,” Stan answered as Kyle turned to the other, zipping down the orange coat so Kenny could talk unobstructed.
“Ahhh, Washington, right?” Kenny leaned more of his weight on the redhead, giving him a grateful smile, “They got a good program for Craig’s astrology bullshit.”
“Astrophysics.” Kyle corrected.
“Yeah yeah, that too. Anyways y’all hear about Bebe’s tonight?”
Kyle took that as his cue to check out of the conversation, his eyes instead following his various classmates as they bustled about, some rushing to catch their bus, others loitering around until their after-school extracurricular started.
There was Tweek and Craig huddled together next to the former’s locker, Craig looking down at his phone, one hand caressing the back of his boyfriend’s back, slowly rubbing up and down as the blonde animatedly ranted about something. Despite not being able to make out a single word, Kyle was still able to distinguish the scratchy tenor of Tweek’s voice.
A ways away from them were Wendy and Bebe, talking around the water fountain as Wendy filled up her bottle. Bebe appeared to be in the middle of debriefing some gossip, her head looking over her shoulder every couple of seconds before leaning closer to her friend. Bebe was practically sneering as she chattered away, ignorant of her friend’s meandering focus. Wendy appeared distracted, at first looking down at her phone, frowning slightly before looking up, her face turning towards Kyle, her gaze landing just left of him as she bit her lip in thought before accidentally catching Kyle’s eye, giving him a polite smile then immediately looking away.
Kyle barely managed to refrain from scoffing.
Kyle didn’t know the reason for the break and he really wished he didn’t care. But, the two had seemed fine before the announcement of their uncoupling, and then one day Stan dropped the bomb, and ever since Kyle had been suffering through wistful stares from across the room and faked casualty as both Stan and Wendy asked him for updates on the other.
It was agonizing to suffer through their bumbling awkwardness and even worse seeing his friends deny themselves joy due to pride or foolishness or a misunderstanding or whatever it was this time.
But then again it was all just business as usual for them.
Kyle continued his scan of the hallway, observing Red and Kevin Stoley, Tolkien walking with Jimmy, when his eyes befell an unfamiliar figure. He could only see the back of their head, black hair that fell to their mid back, standing out starkly against the bright buttercup sweater they wore.
He frowned, racking his brain for any news regarding a new student or faculty member. South Park was such a dead end of a town that something like the arrival of a new family would typically overtake the social scene for a month at least, so how could it be that he had no knowledge about this?
He craned his neck, trying to catch a better look at his specimen, but just as they were about to turn to face him he felt a palm lightly tap against his cheek.
“Kyle?” Kenny leaned further into him, bearing the majority of his weight into Kyle’s side.
Kyle turned back to face his friends who were both looking at him expectantly.
“Huh?” He asked dumbly.
“Told you he wasn’t paying attention. Baby Broflovski, off in his own world.” Kenny hummed, pinching Kyle’s cheek.
“Ugh, dude,” Kyle brushed him off, ducking under Kenny’s arms as he tried to catch him in a bear hug.
“I was asking if you were planning on going tonight. Could be fun.” Stan asked, stuffing his hands in his coat pocket.
“Bebe asked me if you would be coming, says she’d love to see you there” Kenny looked at him suggestively.
Kyle rolled his eyes, “Bebe only wants to use me to make Clyde jealous.”
“Well, why not let her? It’s a win-win.”
“That is not a win-win.”
“Sure it is. Bebe can play her little mind games and you get a sweet night of–“
“I will be spending the night studying.” Kyle interrupted, “AP Physics has been kicking my ass lately and I can’t afford to fall behind.”
Kenny groaned, “Yes you literally can. You already set the curve.”
“And you already applied to college, it’s not like anyone is going to rescind their offer because you got the periodic table wrong,” Stan mumbled.
“That’s chemistry and like one of the simpler parts of it, so they probably should rescind their offer if I can’t get that right.” Kyle corrected, “You guys can call me if you need a DD home though, I’ll be up.”
“Kyle, you’re killing me here.” Kenny groaned, allowing his words to drag into one another as he once again leaned all of his weight dramatically onto Kyle, “Bebe wants you and therefore wants all of us to come to her party tonight. We need you as our in.”
“Just show up anyways, what’s she gonna do? Kick you guys out?”
“She very well might after Stan fucked things up with Wendy again.”
“Hey, I’m working on it.” Stan protested, looking around for the aforementioned girl to make sure she hadn’t heard, “But I was hoping to speak to her tonight at the party, so please, just think about it.”
Kyle looked between his friends, both pleading, Kenny rather dramatically, with a pouted lip and giant watery eyes.
“I’ll think about it.” He grumbled, it was a lie of course, they all knew that, but at the very least they didn’t verbally dissent (Kenny did groan however, wrapping himself over Kyle’s back as he began to walk towards the school’s front door, Kyle having to practically drag Kenny’s body as dead weight).
For now, they would drop it.
For now, Kyle could breathe.
Immediately upon making it home, Kyle began his usual after-school routine.
Shoes off by the front door. Walk to the kitchen to grab a protein bar. Check his blood sugar. Eat the protein bar. Go to his room. Change into his running gear. Place his school clothes in the hamper. Since it was Friday he placed his hamper out next to his bedroom door to remind himself to do his laundry after his run. Lace-up his running sneakers. Go for his run. Starting with a left from his house. Another left right before the train tracks. Loop around the basketball court then pass Mr. Mackey’s house. Turn left again and pass the so-called shopping district of town. Venture uphill towards the McMansion neighborhoods where Tolkien lived before lightly jogging down the other side. Continue past the South Park Mall. Pass City Wok. Pass the Bar. Take the hiking trail around Stark’s Pond. Pass the Elementary School. Pass the High School. Pass Red’s house and the Malkinsons’ and the Tuckers’ and Cartman’s before back to the Broflovski household. The whole perimeter of the central village of South Park. Slightly greater than 3 miles. Kyle could run it in 28 minutes.
Kyle slowed down as he neared his house, beginning his cool-down drills on his front lawn. Lunges, alternating calf marches in downward dog, pigeon pose.
He stretched his legs, being mindful of any aches or tenderness in case of injury before walking back to his house, stopping at the mailbox to check. Only bills and a copy of the New Yorker magazine.
“Hey Ma, I’m back from my run.” He announced as he reentered the mudroom, untying his sneakers. He placed the day’s mail on the coffee table before jogging back up the stairs
He had showered, begun his first load of laundry, and started on his homework when the front door had rung.
“I’ll get it Ma!” Kyle announced, jogging down the stairs.
He readied himself for solicitors of any kind, his mind going through his Rolodex of facts on the Mormon church to unload on the unsuspecting Elder at his door. But there was no crisp white button-down nor a leather-bound book of fantasies.
No. There was a lanky blonde in a battered orange parka lounging on his front porch, already sporting a smirk.
“Kenny, I didn’t know you were–“ Kyle’s eyes then caught onto the crimson packet held in his friend's hands.
Kyle quickly shut the door behind him.
“Special delivery.” Kenny smiled down at him, holding the folder out to him but Kyle didn’t move to grab it. He was frozen, eyes locked on the large congratulatory greeting staring right back at him.
“That’s for me?” He heard himself ask, but the voice sounded nothing like him, higher pitched and muffled to his ears. He felt parched, thirsting for water but unable to do it with this glaring right up at him.
“They must’ve accidentally dropped it off at my house. Sorry it’s opened, my dad thought there’d be like a financial aid check or something in there, but… well I mean, I guess a congratulations is in–“
Kyle snatched the file from Kenny’s hands then, wrapping it tightly against his chest with both arms, obscuring its message from the world.
“You can’t tell anyone about this.” He hissed, looking around the blonde to make sure no eavesdroppers were listening in to their conversation, narrowing his eyes at some lady jogging with her dog across the street. They may seem innocent now, but no one was to be trusted. If there was one truth in this world it was that no one in South Park could mind their own fucking business.
“Jeez,” Kenny laughed awkwardly, raising his hands up to show he was no threat, “What’s got your panties in a twist?”
Kyle could feel his annoyance begin to mount quickly, that red-hot itchiness he always seemed to be fighting around Cartman.
How could Kenny be so relaxed in a moment like this? Joking around like he wasn’t about to end Kyle’s life with this pile of paper.
“Kenny,” He started, his throat dry as he tried to remain calm enough to explain, “You have to promise that you won’t tell a soul what you saw.”
Kenny blinked at him, “I won’t? Kyle why are you so–“
“Did anyone other than you and your dad see? Oh fuck, you don’t think your dad will say anything to my parents, right?”
“No, why would he– Look, he’s drunk, I doubt he’ll remember getting the mail to begin with. Are you okay?” Kenny’s face twisted into a rare worried grimace, his brows furrowed as he looked down at the redhead.
“I’m fine.” Kyle snapped, “I just need you to promise–“
“I promise alright, Kyle? But can you just–“
“Kyle, who are you talking to out there?” His mother’s voice sounded crystal clear despite coming from inside his house, causing Kyle to jump.
“It’s just Kenny, Ma!” He called back before thrusting the folder into Kenny’s chest, “Put this under your shirt.” He pleaded.
Kenny’s face oscillated between amusement and confusion, Kyle could practically watch Kenny mentally debating the benefits of unleashing some absurdly suggestive comment to ask another question, but neither came to fruition as the front door began to open.
Kenny shoved the packet into the band of his trousers, flipping the front of his shirt over it in the nick of time.
“Kenny! Sweetheart! How are ya? I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks!” Mrs. Broflovski doted on the blonde, immediately pulling him down into a bone-crushing hug.
“Mrs. Broflovski,” Kenny choked, “You look wonderful as always.”
“Oh my, I always forget what a charmer you are. Are you staying for dinner? Kyle, did you offer to have your friend stay for dinner? Look at him, skinny as a twig, the both of you need a hearty meal.” The redheaded woman pirouetted her attention to her son, allowing Kenny a moment to adjust the papers that now dug into his chest.
The blonde caught his friend’s eyes over the head of the woman, using the contact to try and gauge what to do next but Mrs. Broflovski was already turning back to Kenny, seemingly disappointed in the lack of an answer.
“I would love to stay for dinner ma’am if that’s too much of a trouble for you.” He gave her a lopsided smile before looking back at his friend who was running a hand down his face.
“Oh it is no problem at all, Kenny, you know you’re always welcome here. Your siblings too.” She cooed, pleased with Kenny’s manners.
Kyle rolled his eyes.
“Now both of you come inside before you catch your death out here.” She admonished, ushering the two boys back inside, “Will you two be dears and–
“Actually Ma, Kenny is here to work on a school project with me so we have to go upstairs right now.” Kyle announced, his hand already grabbing onto Kenny’s wrist, pulling him towards the stairs, “I’ll set the table just let me know when it's ready.” He yelled over his shoulder, hoping his offering would please his mother into forgetting his interruption.
Kyle dragged Kenny up to his bedroom, not letting go of the blonde’s hand until the door was shut behind them.
“Jeez Kyle, if I had known this is where things would lead I’d–“
“Not now Kenny,” Kyle interrupted the seduction attempt, placing his hands out in front of himself, “Give it to me."
Kenny stared at the open palms, before tilting his head down towards his chin, jutting out his bottom lip in a precious pout as he batted his eyelashes, “What’s the magic word?”
“Please give it to me.” Kyle forced out between clenched teeth
“Oh I’ll give it to you-“
“I’m serious.”
“So am I Broflovski, now can you bring that sweet–“
“Jesus Christ! For fucks sake Kenny, can you just–” Kyle stopped mid-explosion when he caught the large whites of Kenny’s eyes.
Kenny shut his mouth entirely and silence befell the two as they stared at one another. Kenny tilted his head, his eyes scanning over Kyle for a moment. Slowly, he reached under his shirt and pulled the crimson folder out, wordlessly handing it over to Kyle who threw it into the top drawer of his desk.
“Sorry,” Kyle mumbled, back turned to the blonde.
Kyle could feel those blue eyes staring at the boring into the back of his head, watching his every move as he slowly shut the drawer. He slowly turned back around, chancing a look at his friend’s face. Kenny appeared pensive, which only made Kyle cringe internally. He wished Kenny would just forget any of this happened, that he would just leave this all be, but Kyle could tell from the way Kenny was observing him, how he bit his lip and narrowed his eyes that he was formulating a plan to get Kyle to break.
He watched as Kenny opened his mouth, jumping to interrupt him.
“Do you need a ride to Bebe’s tonight?”
Kenny paused, frowning slightly at Kyle. For a moment Kyle thought he wasn’t going to accept the subject, that he’d reject the clear attempt to steer the conversation away from those crimson pages. But in a moment Kyle could only describe as miraculous, Kenny raised an eyebrow, his mouth sliding into an amused smirk.
“I thought you weren’t going?” He teased, plopping down on Kyle’s bed.
Kyle almost agreed with him.
The idea of spending his Friday night packed into a basement with dozens of his classmates, as they sweat and smoked and drank and cried around him while speakers blared the Hot 100 was headache-inducing. The only reason Kyle ever went out was for the after-party hours when he and his friends always seemed to find themselves drunkenly walking to Waffle House in the cold early morning mountain air. But even that had stopped being fun as Stan was once again in an off period with Wendy, resulting in him being exponentially mopier and a sloppy drunk. The majority of nights out recently culminated in Kyle and Kenny dragging Stan back to the Broflovski household, taking turns consoling him as he spiraled before he’d fall asleep in Kyle’s bathtub. As far as Kyle saw it, there was no benefit to going out.
Except of course when he was using it as a way to distract a certain blonde from looking too closely.
Kyle attempted a shrug, “Not many nights like these left, right?”
There was a moment where Kenny looked him over thoughtfully, his face devoid of its usual performative smirks and sneers. It was the quieter Kenny now observing him, the one only the closest of their friends got to witness. Contemplative and secretive and worst of all to Kyle: impossible to read.
This Kenny could read Kyle like a fucking book while not revealing a thing.
But just as quickly as he appeared, he evaporated with a smug grin.
“Ready for your life to begin, Broflovski?”