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Lying in bed, Adam was unable to fall asleep. He'd been perfectly still, a rare sighting, for several hours now but he couldn't seem to yield. His room was almost pitch black, only a faint red light from the city outside slipping in through the curtains, the only noise being the faint buzzing of the electricity system. He wasn't cold, even though he wore only his underwear to bed, his blanket was thick enough to keep Hell's icy nights out and held up to his chin. His eyes hung heavy, but refused to stay closed.
His sleep schedule had never been perfect, but he'd always been able to fall asleep when he wanted. These unintentional sleepless nights were a new occurrence for him, and not a welcome one at that. It wasn't as though he was particularly new to Hell anymore, he should be used to the differing atmosphere to nights in Heaven, and he'd come to terms with the fact that he was here to stay. As for his feelings towards Lucifer, they had done little to disrupt his sleep despite his initial panic, so he could rule that out as a reason for his insomnia.
Maybe it was just another one of Hell's punishments for him. It was no burning in the fiery pits, but it was enough of a minor inconvenience to make his existence a little bit worse than it already was. He couldn't determine whether or not his sleeplessness had any effect on his mood, as he was usually just as tetchy and irritable even before his damnation.
Regardless, he was awfully bored and could do little to relax his brain. The right side of his body was getting numb, so he rolled himself over to face the door to his room, hoping to get to sleep in this new position. Closing his eyes, he gave his best attempt, but still no luck. He pulled the sheets up to his chin, burrowing himself in the mess of fabric and cursing himself.
What techniques do people usually use to fall asleep? He could count sheep, but he always lost track as hundreds of sheep flooded his brain at once, unable to separate them into individuals. There was something in the Bible about sheep, one of them getting lost, he could picture the passage but not the words themselves. As his mind drifted away from trying to fall asleep, his breathing slowed, becoming calmer and more at ease. Before he knew it, and without realising, his body fell into a slumber, welcoming the night.
The door slammed open. It made a thud against the wall, a burst of light flooding the room. Adam retreated further into the covers, perfectly unwilling to confront whoever had the audacity in his tired state.
"I fucking hate him," they said, the voice instantly recognisable as Lucifer's. Adam instantly became aware of himself, poking his head out from his cocoon. He had come to terms with his feelings for Lucifer, and was not quite as jumpy around him, instead being more relaxed, but equally eager to spend time with him.
"Good morning to you too," he grumbled, "what's happened?"
Still illuminating the room with his presence, Lucifer jumped onto the other side of the bed, "Alastor."
"I agree, but can you turn the lights off?" Squinting, he shifted himself into a sitting position, the cold air hitting his chest.
"Sorry," clicking his fingers, he stopped producing light from his body, plunging the room back into darkness aside from the meagre glow of his eyes. Adam decided not to put his bedside lamp on, as he wasn't risking being seen with a blush or worse at Lucifer in his nightwear.
"So what's happened?"
"I couldn't sleep, and I was just wandering around the hotel, and he's just there, lurking in the shadows like that's a normal thing to do," Lucifer began his story, waving his hands around as he spoke. Adam noted that he'd left his cane behind, probably still in his room.
"Yeah he's a fucking creep."
"And you know I'm like 'what the hell' and he emerges saying he's just out for a midnight snack, like he does with that ridiculous smile, and says how 'us lot' are awfully tasty," he ranted, his body smoking as he continued to rile himself up, "and you know exactly who 'us lot' are."
Of course he knew, Adam had heard him talk about how delicious angels were in the past. He himself had wondered how an angel would taste, but in a much different context.
"When he looked at me, it was almost hungry, like he still wasn't satiated, like he wanted more," Lucifer said, his voice rising. This particular bit set Adam on edge. There was no way that he would allow him to lay a finger on Lucifer, even though he was sure he'd be able to handle himself just fine.
"He's such a cunt," he made out. Adam could only be grateful that he now bled red, like he had done when he was alive. He'd gotten a paper cut some weeks ago, and the colour panicked him at first until he remembered he no longer held angel status. Lucifer, despite having fallen years before Adam, bled a rich golden substance he envied. To think that Alastor wanted to sink his teeth into such angelic beauty created a deep anger inside him.
"He is," Lucifer agreed heartily.
Since his death, Adam had been thinking about what had happened to his angelic body, whether that was eaten, buried, or just left to rot in the soil. He shuddered at the thought of those grinning cannibals chewing at his corpse, but could only hope that he was fully consumed before Alastor made his return. The idea that Alastor had maybe fed off his body made him viscerally ill, a faint sick feeling rising to the back of his throat. He didn't dare to ask however.
A smell of smoke from Lucifer’s anger drifted into Adam’s nostrils. "You better fucking not have burnt my bedsheets by the way," he joked, trying to lighten the mood. As much as the Radio Demon annoyed both him and Lucifer, there was little help in getting angry at him now, at this time of night.
"I don't smell singed fabric, I think we're good," the pair faintly chuckled, the night beginning to catch up to them.
Adam now looked at Lucifer properly, his eyes having adjusted to the dim glow. He only wore a scarlet robe (hot), which had slipped down his shoulder as he spoke, revealing part of his collarbone. Adam tried his best not to notice its delicate smoothness, porcelain white like the rest of him.
"So have your eyes always been glow in the dark or is that something you can turn on and off?" He asked, desperate not to let his mind wander too far astray, "I don't remember that back in the day."
"A bit of both, I can turn them off but I generally don't need to, and yes I did have them in Eden," Lucifer answered.
Adam suddenly felt embarrassed that he hadn't noticed, a pink hue decorating his cheeks. Although his words were sloppy at the hour, he tried to justify himself, "well I didn't pay as much attention to you then as I do now."
"Hm?" Shit. He hoped, prayed to God (although he was sure he'd be ignored) that Lucifer was too tired to notice his slip.
"You know, living in the Hotel and all that jazz," what the fuck was he talking about, all that jazz? He could at least say all that shit, or shizz, it'd be much more in character for him.
Lucifer sighed, diverting his gaze, "well actually, I've been thinking of going back to my palace."
"What?" The shock was clear in his voice, a little too obvious that he opposed the angel’s decision.
"Obviously I'll visit more often than I used to, but Charlie seems to be getting the hang of things. She doesn't need her old man around all the time."
"You can't do that!" Exclaimed Adam, "you can't leave me alone here!"
The words slipped out of his mouth before he could think about what he was saying. Lucifer couldn't just leave on him, surely? He was the only person at the Hotel he liked, not just tolerated.
"I'm not going away forever, maybe just a few weeks, I'll see how things go."
"But," he couldn't find the right words to say to him that didn't sound selfish or desperate. He'd stay gone if he told him what he really wanted was for him to stay because he was madly in love with him. Madly may be an overstatement, but the point stands that his only reason for Lucifer's remaining at the Hotel was a purely selfish one, which he was frankly unwilling to admit.
He found that this was becoming a common theme in his life. People would leave the second he got too attached to them. This time wasn't as permanent as the last few occasions, but it stung as much. What did the Palace have that the Hotel didn't? He thought Lucifer was here to stay, a common thread in his lonely existence. Who could he run to now every time he felt like a chat? Who would keep him sane? It wasn't as if he could go strolling out the front door to visit Pandemonium, he was stuck in the Hotel. Lucifer knew this, so why did he have to leave him on his own? Despite everything, he thought they were friends at least.
His mind was spinning, trying to comprehend the situation, but unable to come to a conclusion.
"Are we friends?" He asked, after a long pause.
Lucifer's hesitation couldn't be ignored, "we haven't gotten along in the past,"
"To Hell with the past, we've both done some fucked up shit, it cancels out."
"We've known each other for a long time, we've been enemies since the dawn of mankind, its not as easy as friendship," even in the dark, he could see Lucifer chew his lip, perhaps in nervousness at such a confronting question.
"Why not?" Adam hated serious conversations, he didn't understand why anything was ever taken so seriously. Nothing was that serious. Everything can be easily stripped down to one or two basic facts. Once those have been established, a decision can be made without too much mental strife. Admittedly, many recent problems he'd faced had been a tad more complex, but this one to him, was simple. Him and Lucifer hung out together a lot, ergo they were friends. They chatted about a multitude of things, both humorous and serious, and most importantly he trusted him.
"It's just not," Lucifer started after some time. His brows were furrowed, although now not in anger.
"If the only thing that puts you off us being friends is my past then what's the fucking point in me staying at the Hotel? Why not toss me out onto the streets and wait for me to ruin myself by selling my soul to some overlord?" Only a couple of months ago Adam would never have argued for someone's friendship, whether he wanted something more or not. But he was sick of being treated like an outsider, like a monster, when he was living in a world of monsters. Admittedly his sins were worse than some, but dammit he was not the worst in these pits. If anyone can be redeemed, he thought that would have to include him too.
Lucifer didn’t say a word in return. He seemed uncomfortable, fuelling Adam’s rant more. Why he refused to accept this he couldn’t quite fathom.
"And your past isn't too glamorous either, and I'm willing to put that behind us," as long as Lucifer kept protesting he'd keep interrupting him. Fuck, he had to calm down, he was getting annoyed again. If he continued to rant, he’d only further screw up his chances.
They sat in perfect silence, waiting for whoever would break it first. Adam was certain that it wouldn't be him, stubbornly silent for once in his existence. By the end, he was proved correct.
"I've never had a proper friend before. I've had acquaintances, colleagues, wives, but that's about it. I don’t think I’ve ever really felt friendship towards anyone." Lucifer confessed.
He tried not to sound like he was pleading, although he was desperate for Lucifer not to leave, "then let me be the first. I'm good at being the first one at things." Determined as he was to prevent his departure, appearing that way would do little to help his case. Although he longed for a little more than friendship, that would be a better start than he’d have imagined. He needed this to go right.
The angel thought for a moment, perhaps pondering his relationship with Adam, perhaps trying to think of a way to let him down gently. "If you say we're friends, I guess that means we're friends."
Adam tried to hide the smile emerging on his face, disguising it as a smug grin instead, "I knew you'd come around. You love me."
“You got me there,” Lucifer responded.
Adam had said it as a joke, but his face immediately turned red upon the other’s words. They could have just as easily been another lighthearted comment, not intended to be taken seriously, but he couldn’t help himself blushing. He kept his head firmly in front, doing his best to avoid eye contact, “um, yeah.”
Despite the warmth of his fluster, the room had a chill to it that made him shiver. While lost in conversation, he had forgotten to pay attention to the temperature, but his shirtlessness caught up to him, and goosebumps started to form along his arms.
“Fuck me its freezing,” he stated, wrapping his arms around himself. He’d never fared well with cold, even when all he’d had to wear was a leaf.
Lucifer nudged him with a smirk, “hey watch this,” he said. He waved his hand, a small red flame emerging, which grew into the shape of a miniature dragon; the fire was not so bright as to disturb the darkness of the room, but it exuded a comfortable heat. It danced around before them, its scales glittering an ambient ruby, quickly warming Adam up.
“Show off,” he retorted, but even so, he couldn’t help but watch the dragon’s every move with intensity and amazement. He had to ask, “why a dragon? Aren’t you more into ducks?”
“I thought you’d like the dragon more.”
“I don’t know, the ducks are growing on me.”
Soon enough, he was warm through, and his eyes once again began to feel heavy. He didn’t want to fall asleep now, not while Lucifer was here. He’d much rather spend his night chatting away, soaking in his presence and trying not to get flustered over every bit of mild affection. And he was sure he snored, he’d rather not let Lucifer know that.
His eyes were transfixed on the flowing motions of the flame, trying hard to distract his mind on the creature rather than giving in to sleep, an increasingly difficult task. Glancing over to Lucifer, expecting him to be watching his creation, he met his eyes, still glowing faintly in the darkness, but instead staring at Adam, with some form of smile across his face. He couldn’t place the emotion. Had they always been sat this close together?
Adam blinked repeatedly, finding it increasingly difficult to stay awake. He remembered seeing Lucifer open his mouth to say something, but either stopped himself or Adam fell asleep.
He must have been slouched over, as when he awoke, an aching sensation pulsed in the back of his neck. Massaging it better, he looked around the room, hoping to see Lucifer still asleep or watching him patiently sleep, but instead found a dip in the mattress and some crinkled sheets. At least he hadn’t dreamt his night time visit, yet he still cursed at his absence. There was no way of knowing when he’d left, whether it was immediately after Adam drifted off, or ten minutes ago.
His room was brighter than it had been, the morning light intruding from the edges of his curtains, although that same coldness had reemerged, the one that gave him such a shiver. He wished Lucifer were still here. He could have leant into him, stealing his body heat, feeling the smoothness of his skin against his own. Since when was he into all of this lovey-dovey shit? Frowning at his own sentimentaility, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, his feet touching the cold stone floor.
While his stomach growled, hungry for some breakfast, he simply sat there, lost in thought.
Surely Lucifer hadn’t been serious about leaving the Hotel, Adam knew he had been miserable before coming here. There were some less than savoury figures here, himself included, but it wasn’t all bad. Comparatively, it was one of the nicest locations Hell had to offer.
He ran a hand through his hair. Geez, what was he saying, he hated this place, it was in Hell. That had always been his mantra, and he had never intended to change it. But there was Lucifer, who he couldn’t help enjoy being around, despite their pasts. He was charming, funny, and so fucking hot. Eye candy aside, he couldn’t help but feel deeply connected to the man. Yes, their history was filled with disputes, but his familiarity and understanding gave him an appeal that he couldn’t quite find in anyone else.
He didn’t want him to leave, even if it was only temporary. For fuck’s sake.