Chapter Text
Hao and Hanbin flaunt their relationship in front of everybody as if no one's watching. But Taerae always notices outnotices, always out of the corner of his eye like a quirk in his vision, a pesky floater that he can't focus on but is always there.
When no one’s around but their group and the staff, like they're attracted with magnets Hao's arms will find their way around Hanbin's neck, to drape over his shoulders like a scarf. Hanbin scolds him under his breath, but Taerae can hear his smile from across the room. Hao whines, they whisper to each other and giggle, and conspicuously disappear off to the restroom one after the other. When they return the stylists ask Hao if he got lip fillers without telling them.
Taerae shares a pointed glance with Jiwoong and sighs in relief, at least he's not the only one plagued with this knowledge.
Not even in his own home can he know peace. Less inhibited by the eyes of strangers, they get bolder. Too many times has Taerae's appetite been ruined by Hanbin's hands on Hao's hips as they cook dinner side by side. He tries to ignore it, but it'd be easier to ignore if Hanbin wasn't so obvious with how he “accidentally” grazes past Hao, and maybe if Hao didn't smile so wide when it happens Taerae wouldn't feel like clobbering somebody with the grater he's shredding carrots with.
He's happy for them, he swears he really is. It's a good thing they feel so comfortable around him, or something, but seeing them all lovey-dovey is a fresh slap to his beaten & bruised ego each time. Every instance stings more than the last.
His heart sinks whenever Hao comes slinking into his and Hanbin's shared room. He knows he'll be kicked out, again. With pleading, innocent looks on their faces, they shoo him away to sleep in Gunwook's room for the night, again. Sometimes he’ll linger outside the door after it shuts behind him to listen for the fond murmurs and faint smacking of lips on the other side, the muffled creak of mattress springs twists his stomach in knots.
Face red, heart racing, he pulls his ear away from the door and trudges down the hall to Gunwook's room with blankets and pillow in hand.
“Again?" Gunwook frowns sympathetically, though it's obvious he's stifling a laugh.
"Again."
Taerae plops face first onto Hao's mattress with a thwump, Gunwook climbs back up into his own bed.
"Have you brought it up with them?" Gunwook asks sweetly.
Taerae bursts out laughing involuntarily, after clearing his throat he replies, “I'd rather move out than have that conversation. How awkward! Like 'Hey, I know you guys are fucking in my room but could you fuck in Gunwook's room instead sometimes? Maybe spice it up and try the shower?’" He waves his hands dramatically even though Gunwook can't see him, "They're like, my best friends, it would literally kill me to talk about their sex life."
"But doesn't it bother you, hyung?" Gunwook says, peering over the side of the bed like a cat.
Taerae sighs and bops him on the nose. "It's fine, I'm sure they're frustrated about it too," he reasons, "And I don't mind staying with you, Gunwookie." He placates the sweet boy with a gentle smile. Gunwook’s heart is in the right place but he has a youthful sense of justice that doesn't always translate to the messy reality of adult life.
He hums, unsatisfied, but doesn't push the matter further, and soon Taerae hears the soft rise and fall of Gunwook's breathing above him. Taerae himself finds it harder to get comfortable. No matter how many times he ends up here he can't get used to it, he can't push away the thoughts that flood his mind, as unwelcome as they are all-consuming. He tosses and turns trying to escape the visions of Hanbin and Hao, breathless and sticky, mere feet away from his own bed where he should be sleeping right now.
The nights Taerae is gone are probably the happiest for them.
ᝰ
He didn't get much sleep last night. Taerae has to practically drag himself out the front door for the brunch plans they had made the day prior. The cafe lights are too bright, the noise from the kitchen is too loud, and he didn't have time to look at the menu online before they sat down so he orders something in a panic that he belatedly realizes he'll dislike. At least he has something to push around with his fork for the next hour or so.
Hao is especially clingy, it must've been a good night last night. Matthew seems oblivious, not even batting an eye when they accidentally kick them beneath the table playing footsie, or maybe he's just polite.
"Wanna try some of mine?" Matthew offers from beside him, pushing his plate of waffles in Taerae's direction.
He's halfway to saying no when his stomach growls.
Matthew snickers. He cuts off a bite-size piece without any further questions and raises the fork to Taerae's mouth, like he's feeding a child.
Flustered, Taerae grabs the fork himself, avoiding Matthew's gaze as he takes a bite. "Thanks," he says after swallowing. It's pretty good, it's still not something he'd order for himself but it tastes better knowing Matthew wants him to enjoy it.
Matthew nods and pats Taerae's knee under the table. It's a friendly gesture, he does this to everybody, but it makes his face feel hot anyway. He takes a glance across the table and sees Hao looking back at him. He doesn't have to say anything, it's all over his face, he knows. They've talked about it before, his feelings for Matthew, but no matter how much Hao promises to play Cupid for him it never goes anywhere because Taerae is too afraid to jeopardize their group dynamic. He'd much rather suffer in silence than risk making the rest of their contracted time together awkward if it doesn't work out. For God's sake, he can't even ask his roommate to pretty please stop sexiling him.
Hao shoots him a sympathetic smile before getting distracted by Hanbin leaning in to whisper something in his ear. Taerae stabs his fork into a sausage with a little more force than necessary.
ᝰ
Back at the dorms, he channels his energy into video games. At least stabbing virtual people is less messy than the real thing.
Hanbin is slightly snoring from the bed beside his desk, so when Taerae dies in-game he can only seethe in silence, his knuckles turn white as he carves crescents into his tightly balled fists.
Between game-over screens, he can't help but admire Hanbin, splayed out peacefully on top of the covers. His shirt has ridden up and his sweatpants hang just low enough that the waistband of his underwear peeks out. Taerae's eyes glaze over, lost in the sparse hairs that trail up to his bellybutton. He shifts in his sleep at the sound of Taerae's phone suddenly going off, and Taerae nearly jumps out of his skin, fumbling to answer the call without waking him.
"What's up?"
"I was gonna ask you the same thing," Matthew's voice buzzes from the other end of the line, raspy, he's probably just finished his evening workout. "I'm bored."
"You could swing by, I'm just gaming," he says, casting a cautious glance in Hanbin's direction.
"Ok! I'll be home soon, see you," Matthew says, and Taerae swears he hears a 'muah' before the call is cut. He'll be the death of him.
Taerae sets his phone aside and gets back to grinding.
Matthew shows up a few levels later with a soft knock before entering, he's still vaguely damp, parts of his bangs stick to his forehead and he clearly hasn't changed yet. Taerae cringes like he's in physical pain when he takes a seat on his bed, but he keeps his mouth shut. What's he gonna do, kick him out?
"Are you winning?" Matthew asks, leaning forward to get a better look at his screen.
Taerae shakes his head, "Getting destroyed."
"But are you having fun?"
Taerae's eyebrows furrow. "...No? That's not what games are about, Matthew."
Matthew vibrates with self-silenced laughter, his eyes disappear into half-moons as he squeaks. Taerae has to remind himself not to stare, no matter how cute his scrunched nose is, that's not what friends do.
After calming himself down, Matthew humors him, "So what are games about?"
"Winning."
Matthew snorts, "I'll be your good luck charm then."
Taerae's heart swells. He's hopeless. He was already off his game, but he's doing considerably worse now that Matthew is watching him. There in his periphery, egging him on with soft, satisfied cheers when he makes good plays, and blaming everything but Taerae when he screws up. At least now when he dies, he's filled with butterflies instead of gamer rage.
Matthew bounces and gasps, pointing at the screen, he whispers like a yell, "There's one behind you!"
Taerae whips his character around just in time to be one-shot killed. "Shit."
Matthew buries his face in the blankets to muffle his fit of giggles amongst apologies. Taerae sighs, it's gonna smell like him when he's trying to sleep tonight.
He saves and quits the game and turns his chair to Matthew, who has composed himself enough to prop his head up with his palm. His smile is so soft, and warm, and he's lying in his bed in a nasty set of gym clothes like he's posing for a boudoir shoot. Taerae swallows the lump in his throat.
"I should've showered, like, two hours ago, sorry," Matthew says, although he makes no indication that he's planning to get up. In fact, he's sunk further into the mattress, stretching his limbs out like a starfish. Taerae trace his body with his eyes, from the tattoo on his bicep, to the mounds beneath his tight shirt, to his sturdy thighs which squish flat where they meet the edge of the bed.
"But you decided to stink up my room instead," Taerae teases with a scrunch of his nose.
Eyes lazily closed, Matthew sticks his tongue out.
Taerae wonders how it'd feel against his.
"Bet you won't wash the sheets though." Matthew cracks an eye open to look at Taerae with a mischievous smirk.
Taerae groans as a blush creeps its way across his cheeks. He hates that not only is he right, but he knows it too.
Without so much as a warning knock, Hao waltzes into the room, stopping dead in his tracks when he notices Matthew laying there, his eyes dart between him and Taerae, then back to Matthew. He shakes his head and chokes back a laugh before sitting down next to Hanbin like he didn't see anything. Hanbin stirs and grumbles at first when Hao gently pats him on the cheek, but his face softens when he recognizes who's woken him and he promptly pulls him in by the collar for a kiss on the nose.
Taerae's heart constricts. He averts his gaze to Matthew and finds him watching him watching them. He smiles knowingly, apologetically, and Taerae wants nothing more than to copy Hanbin and kiss that dumb look off his face.
Instead, Matthew excuses himself for a shower with a quick goodbye, leaving Taerae alone with the lovebirds. They chat domestic nonsense to each other as awkwardly Taerae scrolls on his phone, it's the type of small talk babble you become accustomed to when you spend so much time with any one person, the type of chatter that's just an excuse to hear each other's voices. Taerae resigns himself to his fate and falls face first into bed, it smells faintly of cologne but mostly like a locker room. Unfortunately, he likes it.
His unintentionally attention-grabbing display triggers Hanbin to address him, "You feelin’ alright?" His tone is gentle, in a way that makes Taerae’s muscles tense up.
"Just tired,” he says, to which Hanbin hums in response. It's partially true. He hopes this will be the end of it, he figures maybe he can pass out in his own room without incident for once.
"So Matthew was over, huh?" Of course Hao's not gonna let this go.
Taerae lets his exasperation be known with a long, beleaguered sigh. "Yeah, we had fun," he mumbles into his pillow.
"Fun," Hao repeats slowly, snarkily, "Is that what it's called nowadays?" A sudden winded grunt tells Taerae that Hanbin just jabbed him in the side for that, so he doesn't bother glorifying it with a response of his own.
"Let him sleep," Hanbin bids, and Taerae can only guess from the noise that follows that he attempts to placate him with a peck on the cheek.
He lays there in silence for a while, listening to the faint rustling of fabric as the pair get their cuddling in while they can, the sound morphs into a white noise that's as comforting as it is isolating. He wasn't actually tired before, but now he feels he may drift off for real, if only to escape himself. That is, until he's frozen in place by a moan. He holds his breath, thinking he must've heard wrong. A dull thump accompanied by squeaking mattress springs is followed by a sharp inhale. Taerae strains his ears but with his face buried in the pillow it's difficult to decipher any more noises, he very carefully turns his head to the side.
He can make out what sounds like Hanbin whispering, "Ya, what if he wakes up?"
"If you can't keep quiet maybe he will," Hao whispers back.
Hanbin whines, likely as a response to something physical Hao is doing to him rather than his words. It comes again, and another, and then another, muffled but unmistakable, high-pitched, squeaky, and needy. Taerae's stomach churns, he's not meant to hear this. He wills himself to remain still, his tightly clenched jaw aches, afraid if he moves they'll stop, or worse, realize they have an audience and keep going.
Slick sounds fill the air, it's even more suffocating than he had imagined on those sleepless nights, when all he could think about was the couple enjoying themselves in this very room. It's so visceral now, he can practically taste their sweat, his throat closes up as if to reject it and his face burns with shame.
Hao groans, with an unusually gravelly voice that sends a chill down Taerae's spine, "Hanbin-ah, fuck, I love you."
Hanbin answers with a breathier "Love you more."
These words aren't meant for his ears, ears which burn hotter as quickening rhythmic creaking grows louder and shallow breaths turn to panting. This is something so familiar, so intimately routine for the two of them, and he's become the only other person it's privy to. He's used to being their third wheel but it's never felt quite like this.
A soft whimper from Hanbin is abruptly muted, Taerae assumes Hao is covering his mouth, he imagines him squishing his cheeks as drool collects between his fingers. He wishes he could see, he hates that he wishes he could see. Despite his best intentions, he shifts his weight ever so slightly to chase a modicum of relief for the hard-on quickly becoming unignorable between him and his mattress. The friction against his boxers is barely satisfying, more like frustrating, but it's the only risk he's willing to take right now.
Hanbin is falling apart, the shushing and soothing coming from Hao is useless, he can still hear him whining into his hand. Taerae squeezes his eyes shut tighter and clenches his teeth, he never imagined Hanbin would be such an annoying bottom, it's kind of cute.
The pace hasn't let up; he wonders if they're close, if this fever dream will be over soon so he can move one step closer to pretending this never happened.
A sharp inhale, muffled groans, a few last shaky creaks, then silence for all but exhales.
Taerae counts to twenty before he lets himself breathe, and immediately regrets it out of fear that they may have heard his pent up sigh. Of course they either don't hear or don't care, they're busy whispering and lazily macking on each other. He lays there for a while, still hard and unable to will it away, his thoughts are scattered, he doesn't really want to have to think about this right now. Every once in a while he stirs slightly, purposefully, so just in case either or both of them are awake it's not a surprise when he eventually rolls out of bed to plod out to the bathroom.
He leaves Hao and Hanbin wrapped up in each other's arms, sound asleep by the looks of it, they're not faking it like he was. It's unfair, how cute they are, and how easily they get to enjoy that cuteness, together. He's not bitter, it's not their fault he's too much of a coward to get any action of his own.
After having locked the bathroom door behind him, Taerae takes a good long look at himself in the mirror, his eyes are hazy and one side of his face is imprinted with the wrinkles of the fabric he had his cheek pressed to. He leans into the sink to splash water on his face. The cool sensation is refreshing but all that's left looking back at him when he opens his eyes is a sopping wet, sexually frustrated muppet. Staring at his own reflection, he shoves his still wet hands down his pants like he's racing to finish before his brain can catch up. His guts do backflips, he's so sweaty, he wouldn't usually touch himself in this condition, but the sooner it's over with the sooner he can pretend none of this ever happened. Never again will he let his mind wander back to what he heard tonight. He'll forget all about the tender I-love-yous, the desperation in their voices, and erase from his head the images of tangled positions the slick sounds of their bodies had conjured up.
Bracing himself with one hand on the countertop, head hung low, Taerae bores holes into his own eyes. If he focuses on himself maybe it's not about them. He didn't mean to be a voyeur, he didn't choose to, it just happened and he couldn't leave.
All at once, his muscles tense and his eyebrows knit together, the pressure that's been building finally bursts forth and circles down the drain. It's done, it's over, he can shower now and never bring this up again.
He starts the next day much the same, in a cold shower, with twisted guts and a firewall in his brain blocking out any trace of last night. He goes through his morning routine on autopilot and nearly walks right into Gunwook in the process, who was just waiting in the hallway for his turn to wash up. He bites back a yelp and mumbles out an apology but Gunwook, half-asleep, apologizes right back and shuffles past him into the bathroom. Right, Taerae reminds himself, he doesn't know.
He gulps down a quick breakfast while everyone around him is either doing the same or finishing up packing suitcases. They'll be on their way to Paris within the hour, Taerae is sort of grateful for the distraction. He hasn't been able to look anyone in the eyes all morning, he pretends to laugh when everyone else does but he's not listening, but he's not exactly great at acting natural even when nothing's wrong so it's probably painfully obvious that he's not all there.
Matthew keeps trying to include him in the conversation, and while he appreciates it, he just can't find his words. Instead, he picks at his cuticles, avoiding eye contact as if Matthew could read his mind through his pupils.
"Didn't you used to do Taekwondo?" Matthew's voice rings in his ears.
"Yeah?"
"Wow, that makes it a majority of the group that did!" he says, before relaying this information to the others, and allowing Taerae to tune back out.
He floats through the day, phasing in and out of focus. By the time they touch down on French soil and settle into their hotel rooms, the only alone time he's gotten is in the bathroom. Through an unfortunate coincidence predetermined well before any of the awkwardness of last night happened, Taerae will be rooming with Hanbin. He’s perfectly pleasant as always, but every second they spend together Taerae feels his throat constrict tighter and tighter. It's much harder to tune out a conversation when it's only between you and one other very attentive person.
"Hao gave me this jacket," Hanbin muses, hanging up his clothes.
"Oh, that's nice." He can't seem to look at Hanbin, or the jacket for that matter. An unusually long silence passes them by while Taerae fiddles with the neatly folded socks in his open suitcase on his bed.
As if approaching a skittish animal, Hanbin cautiously draws near and perches himself on the edge of the bed. "Jet lag?" he offers, gentle and genuine, he sounds like his mother.
Taerae nods, still locked in on his socks.
After what feels like eternity but was probably less than a full minute in actuality, Hanbin speaks up again, "We don't make you uncomfortable do we?"
A cackle bursts out of him before his brain can override the defense mechanism. "No," Taerae says, voice shaky, "It's not your fault I'm single!" He laughs again, deliberately now so it'll sound like he's chill and normal, cool perhaps. He risks a glance at Hanbin, he doesn't look convinced.
"Maybe it is my fault! Maybe if I were a better friend you wouldn't be," Hanbin jokes with a pout, punching at the air beside Taerae.
Suppressing the first genuine smile he's felt coming on all day, Taerae scoffs, "I appreciate it, but it's not like you could manifest someone who likes me out of thin air." He regrets the words immediately, the mischievous look on Hanbin's face as they slip out tells him he's taking it as a challenge.
"Oh reallyy? What if I already have someone in mind?" he says in a singsong voice. "I'll stay out of your business if you want, but I'd love to set you up if you'd let me. I want to see you happy." He pretends to pinch his cheek but doesn't actually make contact, his sincerity tugs at Taerae's guilt-laden heartstrings.
"Thanks hyung," Taerae sighs, "But trust me, whoever you're thinking of, it won't work out."
With a polite smile and a pat on the knee, Hanbin leaves it at that.
He has half a mind to confess what he heard last night, to have Hanbin soothe all his worries away. He's so kind, so emotionally intelligent, he always knows the right thing to say and when to say it or when to keep his mouth shut and his ears open instead. If anyone would understand it’d be him, but it's not worth making things awkward. Not here, not now.
They have a performance coming up, but today is a free day in the city of love. Hanbin and Hao obviously want to spend this time together, so Jiwoong drags Taerae out with Matthew to explore.
In theory, it sounds fun, and in fact it is, but Taerae's distracted. Distracted by Matthew, excited about everything they pass, the golden glow of the sun twinkles in his eyes and complements his beaming smile as he oohs and ahhs. Hanbin's allusions ring through his head and he wonders if there's really a chance, a chance Matthew could be a guy who'd like him, a chance that he may be worthy of that. Like a lost puppy, he follows him around, fist balled in the back of his shirt so as not to be swallowed by the bustling crowd surrounding them, eventually bumping into him when he abruptly stops in front of a storefront that's caught his eye.
"Let's go in there!" Matthew says, pointing at the mannequins in a shop window displaying what looks to be bespoke embroidered jackets. It's not especially his style, nor Taerae's, nor Jiwoong's, but it's impossible to say no to him.
A bell jingles, announcing their entry as Matthew bounces in ahead of the two of them. Taerae cracks a grin watching him admire the intricate patterns, tracing the swirls of beads and sequins with his finger, entranced by dazzling colors. His childlike glee is infectious, the longer they look around the more Taerae itches to buy something. Some of the pieces are pretty, some cool, all exorbitantly expensive.
"Hey, Taerae!" Matthew calls across the small shop.
Jiwoong hits him, snickering. "Don't yell!"
Matthew covers his mouth like a cartoon character, with wide eyes and o-shaped pout. "Sorry," he says like he's whispering, but he hasn't really lowered his volume all that much. "Taerae, look!" He holds up a jacket lined with studs of bright primary colors, with the head of a fox embroidered on the elbow of each sleeve.
It's flashy, it's disgustingly flashy, he loves it.
"You should try it on," says Jiwoong, obviously teasing, but Taerae's in front of a mirror with his arms outstretched in the blink of an eye.
Matthew dresses him like he's bestowing upon him a knighthood. He beams and looks at him in the mirror expectantly, nodding, awaiting his praise. "Doesn't he look cool?" he prompts Jiwoong, turning Taerae side to side to show off all the little details.
Taerae can't hide his smile even as his ears burn red from the attention. "So are you gonna buy it for me?" he jokes.
"Of course!" What?
"What?"
Matthew shrugs, "I don't get to treat you that often. C'mon, look where we are!" He gestures vaguely in all directions around him.
Jiwoong pats him on the shoulder. "You heard the guy."
"Are you sure?" Taerae asks, thinking he must be high off the smog fumes.
"Totally," Matthew insists with a huff and a hand to his chest like an oath.
"Thanks, you really don't have to do that," Taerae stumbles over his words, but he doesn't mean them, the mere idea of Matthew giving him a gift *just because* might make his year, regardless of his intentions.
Matthew ends up buying himself a cute little hat as well, a leather beret to 'fit the vibe' as he put it, and Jiwoong splurges on two pairs of, dizzyingly nice, matching sunglasses for him and his girlfriend back home. Taerae mentally pats himself on the back for not being jealous. He swears, he's not.
Walking around the city donning fresh, locally sourced accessories, making each other laugh and taking pictures of themselves and the sunset as it creeps below the skyline, Taerae almost forgets all about yesterday. Almost.
"Hanbin texted," Matthew alerts the group, tapping away at his phone as they stroll along the cobblestone. A string of moans invades Taerae's mind like a notification ping, he shakes his head to reset and hopes no one notices how crazy that must look.
"It's almost time for the team dinner," Matthew continues. "We can meet them there if we leave now."
They catch a cab to the restaurant and weave their way to their table with the help of Matthew's French, letting the host at the door know they already have a table full of Korean men waiting on three more. It's gorgeous inside, well within the top 5 fanciest places Taerae's ever step foot in. Floor-to-ceiling windows show off the view of Paris at dark lit by streetlights, and it's not much brighter inside, candles and dimmed chandeliers illuminate the faces of his friends seated at a long wooden table.
Hanbin waves them over with a smile, everyone else has their faces buried in menus. "I guess you guys had fun?" Hanbin says as the trio find their seats. "Where'd you get that, Taerae?"
"Oh!" He'd already forgotten he's wearing it, like he's not the most ridiculous looking person in this entire restaurant. "Matthew picked it out for me," he says with a sheepish grin, it's hard to hide his pride.
Hao's eyes light up in the way that Taerae's come to recognize as a warning sign of teasing. "Ooh, how sweet," is all he says before Hanbin shuts him up with a look.
"Anything for my Taerae," Matthew affirms, wrapping a friendly arm around Taerae's shoulders. His heart jumps out of his chest; 'My Taerae,' it's so easy for him to say things like that. Taerae rubs the spot where his hand was after it's gone as if to erase his imprint.
At least he's in a good place to eat his feelings. Taerae scarfs down his fair share of the fancy appetizers and main courses, and maybe a little more than fair when it came to the bottle of wine they'd ordered for the table. Though he's not the only one getting tipsy, Hanbin and Hao's faces grow pinker as the meal goes on, their bodies find their way closer together, and their whispers become more frequent, more giggly, and increasingly less whispered. Taerae tries not to stare, but it's inevitable when he's sitting directly across from them. He's not a voyeur, they just happen to be here, in his line of sight, within earshot...
Hanbin's hand rests on Hao's thigh, he watches it slowly creep higher and higher until Hao has to smack him away with a scolding look and something muttered in Chinese that Hanbin appeared to understand.
Taerae clears his throat and gulps down another swig of wine to wash down the memories coming up.
ᝰ
After dinner, they take a walk around the city to digest before taking a trip around the canals in a yacht. The views are beautiful, they drink a little more, Taerae is dizzy. It's nearly midnight when they get back to the dock, but somehow Hao sweettalks the manager into letting them stay out for a couple more hours while the rest of the group returns to the hotel. Because between the four of them, at some point in their drunken yapping, someone decided they should go clubbing. And it wasn't Taerae.
It's a miracle they're let in, and even more confounding that they're served more alcohol. They pair up and link arms to do shots, the weight of Matthew's bicep trapping his forearm makes Taerae's mouth so dry the cheap vodka goes down like spring water. This isn't really his scene, the music is too loud and he can't escape being touched by people's bodies, either intentionally because they're trying to dance with him or unintentionally because it's so crowded; it's a sensory overload.
Matthew, however, is apparently in his element. He dances and sings his heart out, bouncing around to the music and chatting up strangers on the dancefloor—mostly women, Taerae notices. Hao and Hanbin are dancing by themselves like they're the only people in the building, making funny faces and laughing and stumbling into each other's arms, they'll lock eyes for a moment before remembering they can't kiss here.
Against his better judgment, Taerae weaves his way over to where Matthew is, making conversation with a pretty girl who's wearing heels so tall she has to lean down so he can reach her ear. He notices Taerae shuffling up and motions to introduce him, "This is Taerae!" he shouts over the music.
"Terry? Hi, I'm Amelie!" Or was it Emily? It doesn't really matter, does it? He hopes it won't matter.
“She's a music major!” says Matthew, way too close to his face. He reeks of booze.
Taerae does his best to look and sound engaged, spouting off all the basic English he knows whenever it feels relevant, but his stomach flips every time Matthew makes her laugh. He searches for exits, for excuses to drag Matthew away and plop him in front of Hao and Hanbin for a timeout, but the two lovebirds in the corner are busy slow dancing to the thumping Europop that reverberates through his skull. Instead he awkwardly pats Matthew on the shoulder and dips away to locate the restroom.
Not that he expects a club bathroom to be a grand haven, but at least there's less people in here and the music is muffled. He beelines for the sink and splashes water on his face. As he pats himself dry with some paper towels he hears Matthew's voice ringing from outside the door, approaching. He freezes and prepares to explain himself, or worse, be comforted, but his face falls when he hears that girl Amelie/Emily trailing behind him. They crash through the door together, Matthew, stumbling backwards with her hands in his hair, doesn't even notice Taerae is here. Giggling, they lock themselves in a stall and the sounds of their lips smacking hit his ears like a physical pain. He bolts outside to find Hao and Hanbin as tears threaten to sting his eyes, he can't believe he of all people is about to cry in public. Over a man.
He thanks God neither Hao nor Hanbin have moved from the booth in the corner they were hovering around all night, though they've taken a break from dancing and are now sitting comfily nestled in each other's arms. Gross, but thankfully, not fucking kissing.
"Are you okay?" Hao asks when Taerae sits down beside them, it must be visible on his face.
"Where's Matthew?" comes from Hanbin.
Taerae throws himself across their laps with a dramatic sigh that comes out as more of a gutteral scream. "He's swapping spit with some woman in the bathroom." He flinches when Hao pats his hair to soothe him.
Hanbin curses under his breath, and it's only then that Taerae looks past himself to consider what a stupid risk that is for an active idol to take. "I thought, hm," Hanbin trails off.
Hao whines the quiet part out loud, "We were gonna set you guys up tonight!" Hanbin hits him in the arm. Taerae groans, he feels like he hasn't stopped groaning since he sat down actually. Hao coos, rubbing his back, "He'll come around, he's just drunk.”
Taerae shoots up. "Nooo, you don't get it! Hyung, she's a "muuusic major!"" He gestures air quotes wildly, and Hanbin and Hao share a concerned look.
Hanbin gently takes his busy hands in his and says, "Don't take it personal, Taerae. You know he likes you."
"I do?!" Taerae balks.
"Well," Hanbin sways his hands as he thinks. "I know he does, I promise."
Taerae sighs and slumps in his seat, he feels like he's going to be sick. He downs what's left of Hao's glass of water that he so graciously offered him, and tries to focus on his breathing while he stares off into space. But the flashing lights, the shuffling limbs, so many bodies, thump thump thump, his heart, the music—breathe, Taerae, breathe—the giggling, their legs intertwined, his mouth on hers, her mouth on his, on his... his... Taerae buries his face in his hands to stop the room from spinning but all he can see is them, there's no escape.
Hao rubs circles on his back as he and Hanbin chat about something or other, indiscernible to Taerae's ears. He sits there, unmoved, until eventually Hao nudges him with his knee.
He almost doesn't want to look, when he does he wishes he hadn't. Matthew approaches through the crowd, his flushed face glows under the lights, Taerae wants to pull every out-of-place strand straight from his head. At least he's unaccompanied.
"Matthew!" Hanbin shouts, using his stern leader voice typically reserved for when the younger members don't take care of their chores. "What's wrong with you!"
Matthew chuckles and raises his hands defensively, playfully, unaware. "What did I do?"
Hao motions towards Taerae's scrunched up form and whines, "You made him sad!"
Taerae sits up, everyone's eyes on him burn like laser beams, he shakes his hands in front of his face "No, no, we don't need to talk about it!"
Matthew frowns and crouches in front of him. "Because I left you? I'm sorry, I thought you'd be with them," he says, sincerity seeps through his shouting to be heard.
"No, not that, but we don't need to talk—"
Hao blurts out, "You should kiss it make it better!"
They all gasp, all for different reasons. Hanbin's gasp blends into a laugh as he hits Hao on the shoulder with a fond look, Taerae's is punched out of him, Matthew's is one of incredulity but his eyes light up like he's considering it.
"Not funny!" Taerae protests.
“It's pretty funny," Hao says with a sly smile. "But what if I'm not kidding?"
"That's worse!" "Taerae pouts, feeling the tips of his ears burn up.
Matthew's still kneeling in front of him, his head cocked like a puppy. "Sorry, I'm confused," he interjects. "Are you mad at me? Or..." His concerned brows wiggle in a way Taerae knows he could never be mad at.
Hanbin leans down to whisper something in Matthew's ear, Matthew's eyes flick up to Taerae for the smallest of moments, and a wide smile stretches across his face. "Oh, you're jealous," he says slowly, cockily. Taerae hates the confidence radiating off of him, it makes him feel small. "Maybe Hao's right, maybe kissing would make it better."
"See!" Hao cheers.
"Shut upppp," Taerae groans, burying his face in his hands again. He feels dizzy, maybe if he's lucky he'll pass out, and the next time he opens his eyes he'll be back in Korea, safe in a hospital bed after a much needed coma. Instead, he peels his hands away to see Matthew looming over him now, but as soon as he leans in he's pulled away.
"Not here, dummy,” says Hanbin as he snatches him by the arm. “Maybe it's time we leave.”
ᝰ
Taerae laments for his chances of peace and quiet tonight, but at least he won't have to be alone with his thoughts. Resigning himself to his fate he plops down on his bed next to Hao, who's freshly showered and donning one of Hanbin’s pajama sets—though they might as well be considered jointly owned property at this point.
Hao cheers with robotic enthusiasm, "Wow, it's like a sleepover.”
In pajamas which match Hao's, Hanbin smiles softly at him and Taerae from where he's sat on his own bed. "What do boys usually do at sleepovers?"
Hao hums, pretending to think, "Hmm, watch movies, gossip about boys, kiss each other," he lists off casually, smirking on the last word. Hanbin shakes his head and laughs. Taerae scoffs, he's not drunk enough for this, or sober enough for that matter.
Matthew joins them from the bathroom, his bangs are damp from washing his face and he's stolen one of the hotel-branded satin robes for himself, it hangs loosely and exposes his muscular chest nearly down to his navel. Taerae crosses his legs and averts his gaze.
"Matthew," Hao calls, "Taerae was just telling us how much he wishes you really kissed him," he says sweetly, though his self-satisfied grin tells another story.
"Ya! I did not!" Taerae complains, smacking Hao's thigh before doubling over to hide his burning face in his hands while the boys around him chuckle.
“I do owe it to you though,” comes Matthew's lilting voice, closer than Taerae expected. When he dares to look he finds him standing in front of him with his arms crossed and a curious look on his face.
"No, no," Taerae insists, eyes wide like a deer in headlights while he shakes his head. "You don't owe me anything, really." He makes sure to speak with conviction, though he'd be lying if he said he didn't want it. But not here, not like this, not in front of his friends.
"Okay, fine," Matthew says, stepping closer. "What if I say I want to kiss you because I want to, and not because I feel like I have to?"
Hanbin and Hao 'ooh' like they're watching a soap opera. Taerae shrinks away; he'd been trying not to look, but now that Matthew's so close and he's too embarrassed to hold eye contact anymore his gaze is naturally drawn to the cleavage formed by Matthew's crossed arms. His skin glistens under the dim hotel room lighting, Taerae gulps. "But, here?" he says, almost a whisper.
"C'mon," Hao prods, "We're all friends, you can let loose, Taerae-ya."
Between the three pairs of expectant eyes burning holes into Taerae's skin, he looks to Hanbin, silently pleading for a lifeline. But what Hanbin grants him is a soft smile and a nod, encouraging him to give in and get on with the show.
His teeth are chattering, though the room isn't cold. He takes a deep breath and stands up on wobbly knees, finally meeting Matthew's eyes now that he's inches from his face. "Just for fun, right?" Taerae asks, fishing for reassurance from no one in particular.
"Oh, it'll be fun," Matthew says, failing to bite back a smile. Taerae can smell the alcohol still on his breath, more obvious now than when they were at the club surrounded by it. Matthew cups a gentle hand on his cheek what feels like a searing hot brand, the hair on Taerae's arms stand on end as Matthew's eyes flit across his face, from his lips to his eyes and back down again. "You're shaking," Matthew notes, rubbing a thumb across his bottom lip.
Taerae's nerves burst into flames, his heart is beating at a pace that can't be healthy. He could die here. Fuck, what if he dies here? What would they tell the company? "He overdosed on sexual tension?" What a way to go.
"Just do it," Taerae says, barely audible, more of a plea for mercy than a demand.
Charity is immediately given in the form of Matthew capturing his lips, Taerae has to keep himself from squealing when Matthew's other hand clasps his face to hold him in place. He tastes like cupcakes, must be that girl's lip gloss, though he tries his best not to think about it. Fighting against his instincts telling him to pull away, he lets Matthew slip his tongue past his lips to graze his teeth. A mixture of toothpaste, and tequila, and arti-fucking-ficial cupcake flavor flood his mouth as their tongues catch each other in what must be an obscene display. Taerae shudders, he's never kissed anyone like this before in his life. It's messy, and invasive, and everything he's ever dreamed of since the second he laid eyes on Matthew. He almost forgets where they are and who's watching.
Matthew walks them backwards until he hits the bed, he sits on the edge, cages Taerae between his legs, and pulls him down to his level. A small yelp escapes from deep within him when Matthew bites his bottom lip and sucks.
He can't help but feel embarrassed when Hao giggling beside them yanks him back into reality, he stumbles a little as he pulls away to see him sitting in Hanbin's lap, peppering small kisses to his neck in between peeks at the action. It's not like he hasn't seen the couple's PDA before, for God's sake he's heard worse, but this is different, it feels more personal, more intimate than the hands on hips and quick pecks he's used to seeing around the dorms. This time they know they're being watched, and they're watching him, and from the spaced out look on Hanbin's face it seems like they get off on it.
Taerae glances back at Matthew, who licks his lips, glistening with spit. Flushed pink, doe eyes turned predatory, he looks like he could eat him. His hands travel to rest at Taerae's hips as he confesses, "You're cute, Kim Taerae. I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't know you like me that much."
"I don't, I—it's really not a big deal," Taerae insists, but Matthew tugs him back down with a firm hand on the nape of his neck.
"You're a bad liar."
Matthew kisses him once more, gently, sweetly, unlike anything Taerae was prepared for. He expected Matthew to grab his ass, plunge his tongue down his throat then laugh it off with a fist bump, or something, anything besides this tenderness constricting his heart. He almost wishes he were objectifying him, it'd be easier to compartmentalize when this is all over and they go back to being friends, coworkers. But this, these feelings, they can't be unfelt.
Matthew breaks the kiss with a smile that sends shivers down Taerae's spine. His thumb rubs circles into his hip bone, pressing down just enough to be felt but not so hard that it hurts.
"Did that help, Taerae?" asks Hanbin while his fingertips lurk beneath Hao's shirt unconsciously—or, well, Taerae supposes he shouldn't assume anymore.
"Uh, yes? I mean, nothing was wrong in the first place, but—"
Hao interrupts his rambling with a cackle. "Oh, no. His case is terminal and he doesn't even know it, doctor," he says, laying a fist over Hanbin's heart and looking into his eyes with faux concern.
Hanbin sighs and shakes his head, he tries to maintain a straight face but he's unable to fully stop his mouth from twitching into a smile. "No, there's still hope for a cure…” Hanbin says, turning to Taerae, holding back laughter at what he presumes must be an inside joke. Taerae marvels at how they've managed to make him feel like a third wheel even in a situation like this.
“What does that mean?” Taerae squawks.
With a devilish smile that suggests he either understands or has some ideas of his own, Matthew lifts Taerae into his lap; the fabric of his robe is slippery but his grip is firm as he guides Taerae's hips to meet his.
Hao apparently takes this as his cue to push Hanbin backwards onto the bed to assault him with kisses from his ears to his collarbones. “Ah!” Hanbin yelps, but quickly gives in. Eyes squeezed shut, he moans, "You guys don't have to—mmnh—if you're not comfortable..."
Taerae can't promise 'comfortable' is the word he’d use to describe how he's feeling right now, but he knows he wants whatever this is to continue. With a shaky exhale, he swears, "It's okay..." Matthew's thighs feel sturdy under his, he smiles at him warmly, encouragingly. "More than okay," Taerae mumbles.
He feels naked despite being fully clothed. Suddenly he's overly conscious of his body, of Matthew's, of his body's position in relation to Matthew's, of Hao and Hanbin's knotted bodies in relation to theirs. It's nigh impossible to ignore the couple grinding less than two feet away from them, albeit as slowly and respectfully as he imagines anyone could grind in front of others, the sound of embarrassingly wet noises and heavy breathing fills the room with a heavy fog. Taerae finds it increasingly difficult to catch his own breath as Matthew's hands creep tentatively under his shirt, tickling his bare stomach. He hopes he doesn't mind the softness there, or the anxiety grumbling beneath.
Matthew tugs at his shirt. "Can I take this off?"
Taerae hesitates for a second, of course they've all seen each other naked, but not up close, and certainly not in this context. He nods anyway and removes his own shirt, only to swiftly be tugged downwards by Matthew who attaches himself to his neck like a leech. Taerae can feel his half-hard dick through the thin layers of cloth between them, his face burns red knowing this is really happening, that this is really about him. Tentatively, he rolls his hips, slowly, barely making contact. Matthew groans and nips at his jaw, bucking up to find some friction.
Taerae overhears Hao whispering to Hanbin, "Fuck, look at them."
"I know," Hanbin replies breathlessly. Being watched, or rather basked in like this makes Taerae's stomach flip. "No hickies!" Hanbin adds to warn, although he's struggling to keep his composure he's ever their sensible leader.
Matthew eases up and apologizes with a laugh. Hanbin shoots back a look of sympathy. He had to learn this lesson himself, the hard way, from blushing stylists who chastise as they dig around in their kits for the body makeup.
Caressing his cheek, Matthew turns his attention to Taerae's mouth instead, switching it up to kiss him gently this time. Taerae tries to lose himself in it, to ignore the circumstances and all the possible consequences and savor the moment as it may be the only chance he gets. Matthew's hand travels south, grazing Taerae's waistband and lingering as a way of seeking permission. 'Let loose, Taerae,' rings through Taerae's head and convinces him not to stop Matthew. Instead, he buries his face in the crook of his neck, hopes Hao and Hanbin don't mind, and whimpers as Matthew slips his hand into his pants to wrap around his length. His strokes start slow, and inhumanely dry to boot. But, if Taerae's honest with himself, it doesn't matter, he could jerk him with sandpaper and it'd feel like heaven because it's Matthew who's touching him.
Taerae muffles his moans in Matthew's shoulder as his dripping precum allows Matthew to smoothly pick up the pace, pumping him faster and tighter. His thighs tremble around him, the pressure is building quickly, too quickly. "Wait, stop!" he cries, batting Matthew's hand away. He'd never forgive himself if he finished this fast, especially considering Hanbin and Hao have yet to lose a single article of clothing.
Matthew cocks a brow. "All good?"
Blushing, Taerae nods. "Can I, uh, touch you instead?"
With no further questions, Matthew slips off his robe and brings Taerae's hand to palm him through his underwear. He's... massive? Bigger than any other guy Taerae's been with at least. Curiousity gets the better of him so he wastes no time in freeing him of his briefs; his cock bounces out, thick and heavy and nearly brushing up against Taerae's stomach.
His mouth waters at the sight. "Oh my god," is all he can manage to say. Matthew snickers, seeming rather annoyingly proud of himself.
Hao, now stroking Hanbin under his pants, peeks over with sparkling eyes. "Seok Matthew~ where have you been hiding that thing this whole time?"
"In my pants?" he laughs, switching to a stuttered gasp when Taerae experimentally squeezes him in his hand. Hao's not wrong to gawk, it's mesmerizing. He's thick, tastefully curved, nearly as long as Taerae's forearm, maybe, definitely not, but it feels like it anyway. Taerae takes a moment to thank the Lord for granting him such a large mouth and no gag reflex, perhaps He does pick favorites.
"I might have to have some of him to myself, mind sharing?" Hao asks looking at Taerae with faux doe eyes, stroking Hanbin languidly. Taerae's first urge is to say no, he wants Matthew all to himself just this once, but he knows it's not his decision to make—and judging by the way his dick twitches in his hand at the suggestion he can guess what Matthew wants.
"If I must," Taerae says begrudgingly, hoping it sounds playful.
Hao scoots off the bed and kneels, he motions for Taerae to join him. They settle beside each other between Matthew's legs as his cock bobs inches from their faces. Hao pats the bed next to Matthew, "Come," he says, directed at Hanbin, like he's calling a dog. Hanbin moves obediently and Hao rewards him by taking him back in his hand, stroking him just as cruelly slow as before but Hanbin bites his lip and throws his head back in pleasure. He must like it this way, Taerae notes.
"Show me how you'd suck him first," Hao says bluntly and without an ounce of shame, he grabs Matthew's dick in his free hand and waves it in Taerae's face.
Taerae lets out a nervous laugh, suddenly wishing he had had another shot or two. The idea of blowing anybody in front of other people is mortifying, let alone blowing his crush in front of his friends—all of whom he lives and works with and will have to see every day after this.
"Don't be shy," Hao says, "I know you want to." He taps Matthew's dick against his cheek, then presses the tip to his lips.
Matthew smiles down at him softly and cards his fingers through his hair. The touch eases his nerves, the look in his eyes almost has Taerae feeling like they're alone. He flattens his tongue on the tip and lets Hao swirl his cock around his mouth, saliva and precum glistens on his chin.
"Fuck," Matthew groans.
Taerae shivers, how much he likes hearing that outweighs any amount of embarrassment that could keep him from parting his lips and sinking down on Matthew's cock to earn more noises from him.
“I knew you could be a slut,” Hao says proudly, letting go of Matthew to pet Taerae's head gently.
Taerae takes this as motivation to take Matthew deeper, but he ends up sputtering when Hao pushes his head down further than he can handle. His dick twitches at his own obscene noises, imagining the sight from Matthew's point of view. He relaxes his throat and keeps going, like he has something to prove he ignores his watering eyes and lets Hao guide him until his nose hits skin. He breathes Matthew in, musky, similar to the scent that lingers on his gym clothes but stronger. This is something he could get drunk off of.
"Taerae, Taerae, fuck," Matthew whines, his fingers entangle with Hao's at the back of Taerae's head, threaded through his hair together. His skin is flushed down to his chest, Taerae marvels at how cute he is in contrast to the massive cock he's choking him with. It's not like he doesn't carry himself like he has a big dick, he does, but Taerae chalked it up to confidence and experi— "I'm gonna cum," Matthew cries, interrupting Taerae's thoughts like an apology rather than a courtesy warning.
Hot semen assaults the back of his throat while Hao pats his head for a job well done. Taerae pulls off and opens his mouth to show everyone his reward pooling on his tongue before he swallows with a gulp. Matthew watches like he's hypnotized, his hand falls from Taerae's hair to his cheek, stroking him fondly.
Hanbin curses under his breath and bucks his hips up into Hao's touch. "Gege, I'm—" Hao snatches his hand away before he can finish, causing him to cut himself off with a deflated whine.
"Don't be rude, we have guests.”
Taerae's seen him bossed around like this before, in the practice room, professionally, on camera for laughs, flirtatiously when at the dorm, but not like this. Not like, not like he's some naughty mutt. He shudders, it's kinda hot.
Hao grazes a finger along Taerae's soiled chin and locks eyes with Matthew. "Well, you should return the favor, right?" he says wiping his hand on Matthew's knee.
Matthew bites his lip and, for once in his life, looks almost embarrassed. "Would you... fuck me?" he asks Taerae, his eyes flicker between him and the floor behind him.
"Please," Taerae begs. Oops.
Matthew smirks and lies back and spreads his legs.
Hao makes no haste either, after a quick peck to Hanbin's cheek he fetches the lube from his boyfriend's nightstand drawer. Of course he knows where to find it, they've sure enjoyed their time in the city of love thus far. "Make yourselves comfortable," he says, tossing a bottle to Taerae that he barely catches.
Hao climbs back atop Hanbin and slowly kisses down his chest as he unbuttons his shirt, although he seems to be stuck at the first hurdle of his sternum tattoo. Their restraint with each other makes Taerae feel like he should be embarrassed of his impatience, but he's too horny to internalize that right now. Right now, Matthew is splayed out before him, entirely nude, his sweaty muscles flex as he brings his knees to his shoulders. In awe, Taerae coats his fingers in lube as if on autopilot, and hovers Matthew's rim.
"I don't bite," Matthew says grabbing onto Taerae's wrist and pressing his fingers against him. "I want you, Kim Taerae." His eyes burn with a desire that Taerae lets himself believe would still exist even if they hadn't been drinking an hour ago.
He swallows dry and sinks the first finger in, slow, listening to Matthew's breathing for signs of discomfort. He sighs and smiles contentedly, like a spoiled cat. Taerae feels his heart squeeze. His friend, his crush, his muse he's written songs for came in his mouth and now he's inside of him. Tight and warm, inviting him in deeper, Taerae easily adds a second finger and soon a third.
Beside them, Hao strokes Hanbin with one hand and works him open with the other like he's done this a thousand times—he probably has, and probably has at least once already today. The thought makes Taerae dizzy, Hanbin's hair is fanned out of his face and he's glowing, his pupils look blown out as they roll back into his head. He's a beautiful man, though one Taerae usually makes a point not to stare at because he's so wholly Hao's.
Matthew mewls and arches his back when Taerae curls into his g-spot. "There," Matthew pleads, "Fuck, right there."
Taerae repeats his motion until Matthew is fucking himself on his fingers. Hanbin moans in sync as Hao pushes his limits with a fourth finger. Taerae's dick throbs and leaks in his pants, he can't take it anymore. He throws Matthew's legs over his shoulders and replaces his fingers with his cock after lubing up.
He feels the vibrations throughout his whole body when Matthew gasps, "You're not so bad yourself." Even blissed out he can still form his signature smug little smile.
Taerae can't take his eyes off of him, can't believe that this isn't some wet dream he's due to wake up from sticky and ashamed. He rolls his hips experimentally, garnering a drawn out moan from Matthew as throws his head back and digs his nails into Taerae's arms. He tried to start slowly, to not come off as too desperate, but Matthew hooks his legs around his waist and urges him deeper, wants it harder, faster. He looks totally wrecked, his skin shimmers with a sheen of sweat.
Taerae obliges and snaps his hips at an unrelenting pace, Matthew writhes and yelps beneath him, clinging to him like he'll float away if he doesn't. Taerae reaches between them to stroke him in time with his thrusts. Matthew's body jerks at the contact, like he's been electrocuted, and his mouth hangs open babbling English phrases Taerae's never heard before.
“Gege,” Hanbin cries out, Hao pounds into him mercilessly. Taerae still feels he shouldn't be allowed to see this side of either of them. Hanbin claws at Hao's back, low enough to be covered by clothes, and Hao bites down on his collarbone leaving a mark Taerae knows will get him scolded come tomorrow. “Can I kiss him?" Hanbin asks, it's unclear whose permission he's seeking but Matthew leans in and seals their lips together without getting a second opinion.
Taerae watches as Hanbin slips his tongue into his mouth, he's reminded of the girl Matthew had been plastered to an hour earlier. Though he imagines that went a little differently. Hanbin kisses him like he's reuniting with an old friend and flicks his thumb over Matthew's nipple, eliciting a whine followed by clenching that makes Taerae's vision go white. Before he can stop himself and salvage his dignity he's spilling his seed in Matthew, coating his insides.
"Shit, sorry, I—" Taerae stutters, trying to catch his breath. He goes to pull out but Matthew slams him back in with his legs tightly wrapped around his waist. He breaks away from Hanbin to reconnect with Taerae, he tastes Hanbin's waxy lip balm mixed with all the other mouths that have been on his tonight.
"It's okay," he pants between kisses. "Just hold me." He wraps his arms around Taerae's neck and pulls him down so they're chest to chest, so close Matthew's heartbeat feels like it's pumping the blood into his. Buried as deep as he could possibly be, his dulled, overstimulated nerves throb against Matthew's walls.
Barely coherent and inches away from Taerae's ear, Hanbin whines, "Please, can I cum? Please, please, I've waited so long."
“For asking nicely this time, yes, bǎobèi."
Taerae glances over in time to watch Hanbin's body seize up and convulse as he finally climaxes, shooting white ropes all the way up his splotchy red stomach to decorate his tattoo. To overhear it is one thing but to see his leader like this is surreal. It's so filthy, Taerae swears he could get hard again.
Hao coos and pulls out to admire the mess he's made of his lover fondly, he brushes the slick hair out of his face and speaks sweetly to him in Chinese. Taerae wishes he had studied harder, but he can tell it's praise at least. Hao dabs some cum off Hanbin's skin with his index finger and brings it to his tongue like it's a delicacy. Hanbin lays spent and panting, watching as Hao now chases his own release.
From where he was snuggled into his neck, Matthew pulls Taerae into a kiss. The wet sounds of their lazily interlocking lips harmonize with the squelching beside them. With his strong arms pinning him down, and his inner walls clenching arrhythmically around his softening erection, all of Matthew's muscles seem to be begging him to absorb into him. And for a moment, Taerae lets himself pretend. For a moment he pretends they're alone in each other's warm embrace, where he can pretend Matthew loves him like he loves him, and that they won't regret this come tomorrow morning.
"Ah, fuck," Hao curses under his breath, and the spell is broken.
Hanbin lets out what sounds like a meow. Taerae's dick twitches weakly, his abdomen is sticky with sweat, he's certain his hair is a disaster and these pajama bottoms are ruined.
He slowly slips out of Matthew and stands up despite grumbled protests, he watches his own cum drip onto the hotel sheets between Matthew's legs before escaping to the bathroom with a promise to bring back some towels. But first he locks the door behind him and takes a minute to sit down on the cool tile floor. This isn't something he'll be able to process right now, or maybe not any time soon. He breathes in, he breathes out.
"Taerae?" calls a voice from the other room.
He stands up, takes a good look at himself in the mirror, and grabs a stack of towels.