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The moon’s light brightly shines upon the window and onto your tired and sore face.
Sleeping felt void to your body and mind. How can anyone sleep in this situation?
A metal collar adorning your neck that’s uncomfortably pressed up against the back of it whenever you just rest on the bed.
Eyes burning and heavy but not having the willpower to rest, and the weight of your captor being pressed against your body that clings to you no matter how much you even attempt to lift yourself up from the bed.
You gave up the first ten minutes of trying to get away from him. You were just too tired and unmotivated to even try for longer.
So here you were; lying in an uncomfortable, stiff position, eyes burning as a way to beg you to close them, and your captor peacefully sleeping beside you. Clinging and digging his sharp nails into you as if not wanting to let go of you.
Turning your head back to the window, you stare at the moon and how free it looked beside the stars and dark sky.
You suddenly felt a pair of lips against your neck, causing you to tense and quickly glance down at the young fox who seemed to have barely woken up.
He yawned and groggily held himself up with his elbow to continue kissing your neck.
You felt tense. Body muscles aching and twitching from the pain you felt earlier in the day. You didn’t dare to move or say anything in fear if he would try to shock you again.
“Stop…being so tense. Can’t…I just kiss you without that look..?”
You pause, glancing at him to see him sleepily staring at you. He looked like he was a bit annoyed with how his tail twitched once in a while.
Turning your head again, you let out a hum.
“Sorry..you just. Surprised me. I thought you were asleep..?”
He grumbles softly as he suddenly adjusts himself to be on top of you, his hands slowly trailing themselves from your face and to your neck. Seeming to not be planning to go down any further, which was a good thing. You weren’t in the mood for sex.
“…Sweetie?”
Glancing up at him, you can feel him falter for a moment. His gaze lingering on your lips before suddenly resting his forehead against your shoulder. You wait for him to say anything but it seems he’s waiting for you to acknowledge him. Letting out a sigh, you shift a bit from your position to get a little comfortable.
“Yes? What is it, Ren?”
You asked quietly, your voice hoarse from the past screams of pain you did.
Silence merely enveloped the room, making you tap your fingers against the bed as anxiety started to creep up from the pits of your stomach.
A breath leaves your mouth as you felt him grip your hand tapping against the bed. Ren lifted his head from your shoulder to look down at you.
He…looked like he was fighting the urge to cry, obviously failing due to some tears falling onto your cheeks. Does he usually get this vulnerable when waking up? Ren moved his hands to your cheeks, holding onto them as he just continued to silently cry.
You felt confused on what to do. So you just awkwardly laid there on the bed, unsure if he wanted you to comfort him or not.
“Do- Do you love me..? Or are you just pretending to love me due to fear?”
You stopped breathing. This was a dangerous situation he put you in.
If you were to say you were pretending, he’d shock you. If he found out you lied about loving him, he’d shock you. Feeling yourself twitch at the thought of being shocked, you pondered over the question for a moment.
Slowly reaching your hand up towards his face, you place it against his cheek and wipe away the tears streaming down his cheek with your thumb.
He perks up and stares down at you, waiting for you to do something. After a brief moment of staring, you let out a long sigh
"I love you, Ren. I'm not doing it out of fear..Okay? I do, really love you.."
You watch as Ren's lip twitch up to a sad smile. He softly chuckles and rests his forehead against your own as he closes his eyes. Ren's tears flowing down his face even more and dripping towards your cheeks.
"O-Of course you do...Of course you would say that. God...What was I thinking..?"
You swallow the saliva in your throat as the anxiety in your stomach starts to creep up again. Did he figure it out already? Does he know you're lying?
Before the fear of being shocked could register in your brain, he held onto your face as he pressed his lips against your own.
Your body froze from the sudden soft kiss. It felt..different from all the other kisses he would do. Whether it was during sex or when he felt like giving you one, this one was much more softer and tame. You hesitantly return the kiss, but that caused Ren to pull away and let out a breathy laugh.
"You..don't need to do that. It's okay.."
He said with a disheartened tone in his voice.
You just gawk at him as he slowly got off of you to exit your room. Quiet, like a leaf in the autumn wind.
A brief silence envelopes the room you reside in. After a moment, you turn your head towards the shining moon among the starry night and contemplate if lying to Ren would change the future of your life. Did he really find out or do you have to start pretending you love him so he wouldn't hurt you so much?
You don't wonder on it for so long as you turn to your side and try to get comfortable with the collar around your neck.
You realize, now that the weight from Ren's body is gone. You felt like you weren't being grounded into the reality of your situation. Letting out a groan, you cover your head with the blanket to get some rest.
You hope that tomorrow will be the start of a different future instead of this mind game of cat and mouse.