Chapter Text
the first day of yoongi’s second to last semester starts with an advanced music production class that he’s been anticipating ever since he enrolled three years ago. it’s going to test his skills, push him and his confidence to a point where he’ll be more comfortable working with professional artists and not just with his best friend, namjoon, and just generally provide him with the biggest push he’s had so far to become the person he wants to be.
arriving right on time, he slips into the lecture hall, hoping to avoid undue attention; he nods at the professor—one he’s had a few times by now—spies an empty seat about midway back, and slides into it. he’s just finished getting his laptop booted up when he hears a soft yelp from his right.
“oh god, i’m sorry, i didn’t break anything, did i?”
yoongi assumes that the fumbling student a few feet away is the source of the noise, considering he’s helping to pick up the contents of what seems to be someone else’s bag. yoongi overhears the owner of the bag brush him off, saying it’s all fine, then the guy is coming closer again. yoongi has a moment of panic when he remembers the empty seat to his left, thinking he’s the next target of the clumsy man; he gets a firm hold on his computer to hopefully prevent the guy from dragging it to the floor as he passes.
“is anyone sitting there?” he hears a soft voice say.
“no, it—”
now, yoongi is a man of words; he got into his courses in part due to his prose, and the wordplay in his lyrics has often been the talk of the underground hip-hop circles he lurks in. but as he looks up at this stranger’s face, hidden slightly by a hood and framed by soft looking hair, words fail him.
he has no idea how long he sits there, simply staring up at a set of wide eyes, but the stranger clears his throat and it startles yoongi back to awareness. he’s completely unsure of how long he’s been zoned out—even more unsure of his ability to form full sentences—so he forgoes speaking and just shakes his head. the man lights up in a gorgeous smile and yoongi wonders how he’s going to make it through the next few hours—let alone an entire semester—with the prettiest person he’s ever seen in his life sitting next to him.
right as the professor clears his throat and dims the lights, yoongi snaps back to attention for just long enough to glance at the boy again. he gets a small smile in return, and all of the words that had fled his mind when he first laid eyes on the stranger come crashing into his brain like a wrecking ball through a wall. full sentences appear before his eyes, small fragments of thoughts scattering like dust in the wreckage around them, pieces that he knows he could put together into something cohesive. he hurries to open up a document on his computer, jotting down as many of them as he can, praying he’ll be able to decipher his own short-hand in the future.
once the bulk of his rush of inspiration is typed out, he’s able to breathe a sigh of relief, preparing to focus on the lecture happening around him. there’s a soft sound to his left, and he turns his head to see the stranger looking at yoongi’s laptop with what seems to be appreciation. there’s another wave of inspiration that comes when their eyes meet, but yoongi ignores it this time, tuning back into the professor’s speech on what’s to be expected of them this semester.
the man ends up proving to be a lot less clumsy throughout the rest of the block, instead watching the professor speak with rapt attention, fingers darting across his keyboard as he takes copious notes. it takes yoongi longer than he’d like to admit before he finally devotes his full attention to the lecture, spending a good chunk of the class trying to bat away full verses worth of lyrics that appear in his mind at random. even when he’s absorbing the material being presented, there’s a part of his brain that remains conscious of the pretty boy next to him.
—
“—thinking maybe if we lower the levels of these parts, it’d—”
yoongi’s cut off by a knock at the door, the sudden sound making namjoon jolt beside him, his hand thwacking loudly into his chair’s armrest. he snorts at his friend’s groan of annoyance, turning his head back to the computer screen while namjoon deals with the visitor.
“i’m assuming that’s the roommate you mentioned would be coming to drop off your bag?”
namjoon hums in response as the soft swish of the door swinging open permeates the quiet of the studio. “hey bun, thank you for making the trip here,” namjoon says, and the laugh that filters into the room is bright and pretty, causing yoongi to perk up and spin his chair around to put a face to the sound.
“you make it sound like this isn’t becoming a regular occurance, hyung. i should probably save us both the time and effort, and just follow you through your schedule, every day.”
it’s the boy. the boy. the one from his production class, the one who’s been the source of the constant stream of lyrics flowing through yoongi’s brain all week. he hasn’t even had the chance to mention him to namjoon yet, the two of them rushing to work on the song they’ve been commissioned to write, but it's been taking longer than usual. he’s been hoping for days to bring the pretty boy up when they had a chance to come up for air from the creative process, but apparently his best friend already knew him.
he’s hesitant to call this complete stranger his muse, but he’s had muses in the past and can recognize the similarities; they’ve only shared space for three blocks this week—a measly two hours each time—but yoongi’s been having to put in a concentrated effort to come up with lyrics that aren’t related to how his breath catches at doe eyes and soft mannerisms.
his thoughts wander while namjoon chats quietly with the boy, but then he hears them clunking around and looks up to see shoes hesitantly coming off, a bag with an adorable bunny keychain being placed on the floor near the doorway, and—
“seriously, bun, just hang out with us for a bit, and then i’ll walk back with you when i’m done. there’s no reason you should have to travel alone when it’s my fault you made the trip in the first place.”
yoongi hopes that the boy hasn’t noticed his gaze, especially when they lock eyes as he turns from namjoon. he’s just as gorgeous as yoongi’s memory of him: eyes shining, lips like open flower petals as he stares at yoongi in shock, his front teeth prominent and giving apparent reason to the nickname namjoon has been using. there’s a flush to his cheeks and something akin to devotion in those wide eyes, and yoongi realizes that the awe he sees now was there before he was caught staring, so it’s easy to put two and two together— this boy is interested in namjoon.
yoongi feels conflicted, able to acknowledge that a muse doesn’t mean a romantic relationship, but that doesn’t make it easier to swallow, not when his gut feels like it’s tying itself into knots when the stranger glances back at namjoon with that wide grin of his. taking a moment to himself, yoongi works to make sure his expression doesn’t convey any of his thoughts, instead showing what he hopes is a neutral look of interest in the newcomer.
“hi, i’m yoongi.”
the corner of the boy’s mouth quirks up at that, jaw still slightly open, but a smile spreading easily otherwise. “i’m jungkook. you’re in my ets 225 course, right?”
the fact that he was memorable enough for jungkook to remember even that much makes up for the fact that he’s clearly not been swimming in the boy’s thoughts like jungkook has been in yoongi’s. he nods at jungkook with a soft hum, turning back to his computer in the hopes that if he looks busy enough, no one will question his slightly flushed face; it seems to work since he soon hears the creak of namjoon joining jungkook on the sofa.
clicking aimlessly around in the tabs of his editing program, yoongi tunes out their soft conversation while he tries to gather his thoughts and focus once more on the task he’d come here to complete. it takes a little while, but eventually the voices behind him fade as he latches onto the thread of a melody floating through his brain, and lets the work pull him back in.
—
despite his assumption that he’d next encounter jungkook in their shared class, yoongi ends up bumping into him at the small coffee stand in the park near his apartment. he luckily manages to keep from spilling hot java all over himself, but the fact that he’s been preparing to—at most—nod in jungkook’s direction as he picks a seat far away from yoongi, means that he’s completely clueless about how to have a conversation with the pretty boy.
“oh! yoongi, right? you’re hyung’s friend.”
when all he manages to get out is a sound much too akin to a squeak for his liking, yoongi nods instead of trying to properly speak, bringing his cup to his lips to take a sip of burning hot coffee. jungkook seems content to take this at face value, for which yoongi is grateful, and continues in what appears to be an attempt to continue the conversation.
“did you come here to check out that jazz trio performing later? i’ve heard that they put on a good show, but i also know that the drummer was in a few of my 100 level courses and can’t seem to tell his ass from his elbow, so i’m understandably skeptical.” jungkook says this with a sly grin on his face, and yoongi lets out a bark of laughter. despite being startled by his own reaction, the acknowledgement of his sense of humor seems to make jungkook’s smile widen. “this might only be my second semester, but i’d like to think that the years of practice prior to enrolling gives me at least a bit of qualification to be making judgements.”
“no, no, i’m not doubting your thoughts on this guy; namjoon honestly wouldn’t have let you into our studio if he didn’t trust your ability to treat the equipment and the space with the proper respect.” jungkook blushes a little at that, and yoongi smiles at how obvious the boy’s crush on his best friend is. “really, i was just surprised to hear such scathing words coming from someone who looks so sweet.”
“i—”
whatever insight into his own sassiness that jungkook’s about to impart is interrupted by an older gentleman pushing his way between them, shoving yoongi back a little. he manages to catch himself before he falls, once more thanking the universe for his coffee’s continued existence inside of its cup, but jungkook isn’t as lucky; yoongi gathers his wits just in time to see the younger man rubbing his left wrist from where he’s splayed on the ground.
“oh god, are you okay?” yoongi asks, falling to his knees and gently grasping jungkook’s arm to check for damage. he hears a giggle in response and looks up in shock at the distinct lack of pain in the sound.
“are you also a med major and just keeping it well hidden?” at yoongi’s confused look, jungkook just giggles even harder. “would you even know what to look for if i’d actually managed to injure myself?”
“i was looking for obvious broken bones, you brat,” yoongi retorts, but as soon as the words leave his mouth, worry about how familiarly he’s speaking to jungkook floods through him. “that is, i mean— i don’t actually—”
the bright and pleasant sound of jungkook’s laughter stops his fretting, and when yoongi looks at his face once more, he seems to be beside himself in amusement. “i’m sorry, yoongi-ssi, i didn’t mean to make your concern seem unappreciated, you just looked like you’d be fun to tease.” his smile dims a bit, and yoongi hates it, hates that jungkook is anything other than happy and enjoying life. “i really shouldn’t have just assumed you’d be okay with banter, considering we barely know each other, but i’m finding that being around you just makes me comfortable. i’m sorry if i ruined that comfort for you, it wasn’t fair of me.”
yoongi doesn’t know how to put into words that jungkook could insult every member of his family, but as long as it’s with that smile on his face, he’d forgive him, so he just nods again. “it’s okay, jungkook-ssi. i didn’t take offense.” getting back up onto his feet, yoongi brushes off his jeans and reaches out a hand to help jungkook off the ground. “so, where’s this performance supposed to be happening? i’d love to have a friend with me while i judge a stranger’s performance.”
bright smile back on his face, jungkook points off towards a gazebo and tugs on yoongi’s sleeve to lead them over to where the band is getting their stage set up. glancing at the back of jungkook’s head, his hair ruffling with the breeze, earrings swaying with his steps, yoongi’s brain is suddenly filled to the brim with words about freedom and confidence and happiness and—
he carefully takes the lyrics that dance around his mind and places them somewhere for use later, shoving down the accompanying surge of joy, knowing that even though jungkook is shaping up to be a good muse, the boy’s heart already belongs to someone else.
—
“so, how do you know jungkook?” yoongi asks namjoon, trying to sound casual as he bites into a bagel.
namjoon slings his bag onto their studio’s loveseat, a few small items flying out of a side pocket almost immediately upon hitting the cushion, and curses as he squats over to pick them up off the carpeting. “oh, he’s a friend of seokjin’s. apparently they took a cooking class together last semester—”
“jin hyung, the man who is two credits away from graduating and becoming a world-famous chef within the course of a year, took a cooking class with someone just starting university?” yoongi knows he shouldn’t interrupt, but he can’t shake the image of their friend, lightyears beyond his peers, the ones also fighting for the culinary spotlight, surrounded by people who likely can’t even crack an egg. the whole thing amuses and baffles him in equal measure.
“yeah, i guess his advisor managed to overlook the course when he first enrolled.” namjoon snorts, coming to sit in the chair beside yoongi, booting up the computer while yoongi just looks on in confusion at the whole scenario. “you should’ve seen hyung’s face when he told me about it, he was furious. all ‘they expect me, between my advanced patisserie and supervision of food services classes, to take a goddamn cooking 101 class?’ and ‘i’m going to know more than the professor, dear god!’. i guess his advisor spent a solid five minutes just stammering through an explanation of the situation while hyung glared, which i would’ve paid good money to be a fly on the wall for.”
“same,” yoongi agrees, fighting back another wave of laughter.
“so, long story short, jungkook was such an endearing disaster that jin hyung took him under his wing. he introduced jungkook to me over the summer, and it ended up working out perfectly that taehyung was moving out right as jungkook needed a place to live.”
yoongi nods; it makes sense, he’s just unsure how he’s managed to avoid encountering jungkook sooner. “he’s cute, but i bet he’s a handful to live with. seems like the type to make a mess while working on something and then use his wide eyes to get out of a scolding.”
namjoon raises an eyebrow at him. “don’t let him hear you say that, he’s an angel of a roommate and doesn’t yet realize the power his doe eyes have over the people around him.” hands on the headphones around his neck, namjoon moves them to place over his ears as he turns to face the song they need to get finished. “besides, i’ve always wanted a little brother, and he’s filling the role incredibly well.”
putting his own headphones on, yoongi can’t help thinking that he hopes jungkook is only still crushing, if namjoon is already referring to him as a sibling. he doesn’t seem fragile, by any stretch of the word, but yoongi would hate to see his heart get broken.
—
a door slamming shut across the room startles yoongi out of his thoughts, the string of lyrics that’s been dancing in circles throughout his head dissipating like a puff of smoke. he looks up, sees a group of people walking into the library’s main entrance, and sighs. he’s been struggling with his latest song, inspiration coming at random and flourishing whenever it hits, but the inconsistency of those moments has been draining him dry. he debates opening up another document, a clean slate where he can pour out the words that won’t leave him alone, words about pretty boys with pretty eyes and how they can make a heart race, but that would be the seventh song created about jungkook this week and he’s trying to force himself to write literally anything else.
“something wrong, old man?”
jimin sliding into the seat across from him perks up his mood a bit. he puts a plastic baggie on the table, pushing it towards yoongi, who snatches it up gratefully. “i can’t tell you the last time i ate anything,” yoongi grumbles, reaching into the bag to wrap his fingers around a pretzel. “thank you, minnie, you’re a godsend.”
jimin waves him off, already digging around in his own bag. “i know you, hyung. you get into that brilliant head of yours and forget everything else exists, it’s nothing new.” he pulls out his laptop, places it on the table between them, then goes back to searching his belongings. “what is new is the content of the drafts you’ve been sending me.”
yoongi groans; jimin’s been a core part of his process for a few years, and he’s become yoongi’s own personal focus group. their other friends had been shocked when they first learned that yoongi trusted someone other than namjoon to listen to his unfinished songs, but he can’t imagine anyone else that he trusts more than jimin to give him that feedback. their process is simple, but is more important than he can put into words— after he finishes the first draft of a song, it goes in a nicely labeled folder in his naver cloud storage, then he debates with himself for a solid ten minutes on whether or not he wants this specific glimpse into his soul to see the light of day. once he makes that call, it either gets tucked away for a day of bravery—the kind where jimin receives a whole batch of music to listen to—or goes into a text with no caption, sent off to jimin to pore over and pick apart.
“you’ve never asked about the subject matter before,” yoongi says, eyes not meeting jimin’s across the table. he isn’t deflecting, either; jimin has always just given him straightforward feedback, letting him know what needs altering, what won’t work in its current state, what he really enjoyed, all in a way that appeases yoongi’s need for blunt honesty without hurting the part of him that’s giving away a part of himself with every tune that he makes. jimin takes everything without question. he only rarely reacts in a way that yoongi imagines is meant to be subtle, but in reality is jimin recognizing that yoongi’s stuck in his own head, close to spiraling, and needs to be pulled out. those are the days when jimin comes over with pizza and popcorn and beer, pjs at the ready for a night of binging trash tv until yoongi feels less alone.
“well,” he starts, and yoongi thinks he’s off the hook, jimin seeming to get pulled into reading whatever coursework he has loaded up on his screen. the glasses on his face make him look more studious, despite yoongi knowing they serve no purpose other than as a completion to his look of the day, and yoongi gets lost letting his eyes trace over the black plastic of their frames. the hope that his latest lyrical obsession will be forgotten goes out the window when jimin finishes scratching something down on his notepad, removes his beanie, and crosses his hands on the table in front of him, looking yoongi dead in the eyes with that sincerity that yoongi both admires and fears. “you’ve never sent me six love songs in a row, hyung. i think it’s reasonable that i’m curious about who’s caught your attention.”
grabbing the pretzels once more, yoongi wracks his brain in the hopes of finding a good enough excuse to get his friend off his back without outright dodging the question—he knows jimin’s ability to latch onto these kinds of things, knows he won’t let it go, even if it takes him months to get his answer—but jimin just stares pointedly at yoongi, the most unimpressed look on his face. “fuck, why do i spend so much time with you, you nosy bitch.”
“because you love me,” jimin sing-songs, getting a glare from a girl at the table next to them, and yoongi chuckles at the quick change in expression jimin goes through, from smugly satisfied to repentant. “shut up, hyung, you know i’m right. now, tell me about the love of your life, because i need to vet him and make sure he’s good enough for you.”
yoongi can’t help but soften at that, thankful for having people in his life that care about him so much. he sighs, rubbing his forehead as he feels the start of a headache coming on, building slowly but surely from the level of introspection he’s gone through already today. “there’s no ‘love of my life’, jimin, don’t worry. i just,” he pauses, searching for the correct way of explaining things that won’t lead to more worrying. “i met this boy who’s moved into my thoughts, but he’s not mine, and he’s not going to be mine. he just manages to fill up all the gaps inside of me with words that ache to be written down, the kind that make for good music. i’m gonna use that inspiration, but he’s already interested in someone else, so i’m trying not to look too closely at the whole thing.”
the soft sigh that jimin lets out almost hurts more than the knowledge of his misplaced feelings, his friend’s concern for him coming off in waves. “oh hyung, that’s—”
“yeah, it’s a lot, but i’m gonna get through it, minnie, don’t worry.” he smiles, burying some of his emotions, and pulls out his textbook. “so, tell me about you, what have you been up to this week?”
he can tell jimin isn’t going to let things go completely, but it looks like he senses that yoongi isn’t ready to discuss it more and nods, seemingly to himself, diving into what is practically a monologue about the state of drug testing and access to clean needles. yoongi lets himself get lost in his friend’s opinions, once again thankful that his calling isn’t social work.
—
yoongi’s doing a pretty bang up job of avoiding unnecessary interactions with jungkook—if he does say so himself—for a good long while, but during their final class of the week, the announcement of a project changes that. it’s been a full three weeks since yoongi watched the trainwreck of a jazz show at the park with him, so they’ve only been in the same space during this block since then, but even just the casual glances he can’t help but make in jungkook’s direction keep causing rivers of lyric ideas to flow straight from his brain to his fingertips.
(namjoon had seen the folder he’d had to make, the one that only contains the files filled with pages and pages of full song’s worth of lyrics about jungkook, but yoongi had managed to brush him off when he asked to check out his latest creations. he might trust and respect namjoon more than literally anyone he’s ever met, but his clueless best friend doesn’t need to know about yoongi’s confusing feelings for his roommate.)
sitting in a mildly uncomfortable chair in the lecture hall, yoongi has been keeping his attention split between the professor’s words and the cryptically named folder that he repeatedly has to open up just to add another string of flowery words inspired by the boy next to him. he’s counting down the minutes until he can leave and go back to his apartment for some rest before his evening class, when there’s shuffling from the students around him and he pulls himself back into the moment to figure out what’s happening.
“it’s a project, yoongi-ssi,” jungkook whispers from way too close to yoongi’s ear, and he can’t quite keep the surprise from making him jump a bit in his seat. jungkook snickers, but turns his computer screen so yoongi can see his notes, the short lines of text appearing to outline their task without any fluff or frills. yoongi manages to skim through the page quickly, rushing to figure out what’s required of him before he ends up put on the spot without any idea of the assignment, but his eyes get stuck on the final line of the document.
“‘partnered project, worth sixty percent of final grade’,” yoongi reads aloud, suddenly struck with the realization that he hasn’t truly befriended anyone in his class. the only person he might call an acquaintance is jungkook, but the boy is popular and likable, and yoongi is sure he already has someone else in mind. “huh, i guess i’m going to have to find someone who’s still unpaired.”
the look jungkook gives him is pure confusion, and yoongi goes back through what he’s just said to see what came out wrong, but jungkook draws his attention again when his arm moves up to rub the back of his own neck. “oh, i just thought—” he pauses, and there’s a flush on his cheeks that yoongi can’t help but be endeared by. “would you like to work with me on the project, yoongi-ssi?”
despite following along with his words, yoongi feels confused as to why jungkook would want to work with him. he supposes that maybe the younger wants an excuse to spend even more time with namjoon, but they live together; he probably gets enough of his clumsy best friend already, crush or no crush. “me?” yoongi asks, instantly regretting his lack of eloquence.
“yeah!” jungkook chirps out, smile stretching across his face. “you’re practically a celebrity around here, mr. already-working-for-famous-musicians, and if there’s one thing i know i’m good at, it’s singing, so i promise i’ll be able to bring something to the table.” yoongi can’t help the heat that he can feel radiating from his cheeks at the compliment, and he’s heard tales of jungkook’s singing abilities from namjoon, so he knows the boy isn’t lying to him.
nodding, yoongi reaches out a hand for jungkook to shake. the pretty boy clasps it and yoongi has to fight back all of his thoughts about soft skin and careful grips and— he’s becoming a cliche, he realizes distantly, unable to interact with jungkook without devolving into the same behavior every time, his documents a testament to that fact. jungkook draws him back to reality with a surprisingly firm handshake, at odds with the initial unsure hold he had on yoongi’s hand, and with even more thoughts of how endearing his contradictions are, yoongi settles into the idea of getting to create something inspired, with the help of his source of inspiration.
it’s going to be an interesting few months.
—
yoongi and namjoon manage to put the finishes touches on the song they’ve been working nearly non-stop on, and after getting it sent off, namjoon ditches yoongi and the quiet of their studio.
“hyung, i love you and i love what we do, but i need to not see your face for a few days,” namjoon says with a smile and yoongi can’t help but laugh, understanding exactly what namjoon means. he waves his friend off, turning back to the desktop to get everything saved and shut down before he figures out what the rest of his night is going to look like.
he’s pulling his jacket on when he hears his phone buzzing on the desk behind him. turning around to pick it up, he sees a barrage of texts from seokjin.
[hamster hyung (8:14 pm)]
hey
[hamster hyung (8:14 pm)]
hey
[hamster hyung (8:14 pm)]
yoongichi
[hamster hyung (8:15 pm)]
i ran into namjoonie and he said you guys finished your song, come get dinner with me to celebrate
[hamster hyung (8:15 pm)]
hyung’s treat
the laugh that yoongi lets out is involuntary and feels good after so many hours staring at an editing suite. he texts back an agreement and almost immediately gets sent an address for some italian place a short walk from campus; grabbing his bag and stuffing his beanie back on his head, yoongi makes sure the lights are off and heads out.
—
“i know you’ve been busy with work, yoongichi, and i don’t necessarily fault you for that,” seokjin says, emphasizing the word ‘fault’ in a way that makes yoongi think he’s definitely being blamed for it, “but i’ve missed you and haven’t heard from you in weeks and that’s just not fair of you.” the pout on his lips would almost make yoongi feel guilty if he wasn’t able to see that seokjin was holding in a laugh.
yoongi picks up this wine glass, taking a much needed sip before he responds with a smile, “you heard from me two days ago, hyung.”
seokjin just huffs, twirling noodles around his fork. “yes, but it’s never enough, yoongi, i need to make sure you’re alive and thriving at all times.” he elegantly takes the bite of pasta he’s been working on anchoring to his utensil, and yoongi takes the time while he’s chewing to finish off his drink, the warmth from the alcohol building in him slowly and pleasantly as he basks in the knowledge that he doesn’t need to think about this latest song for the foreseeable future.
“how are your classes going, jin hyung? i know that people talk about the last semester being hellish, but you seem to be doing just fine.”
“ah, is my healthy glow noticeable even in these dimmed lights? thank you for noticing, yoongi, i knew i kept you around for a reason,” seokjin says, jokingly preening. “i’ve been fine, the coursework is easy enough to navigate, and i’d be able to say i was breezing through it all if it weren’t for this one research paper. the whole thing feels like it’s been shoehorned into the course, but i’m not going to let the professor see me as anything less than immaculate, so i’m spending way more time than i want to on making it perfect.”
“what’s it about?”
“‘culinary authenticity: how distance from a dish’s source country affects how it’s perceived’,” seokjin recites, saying it in a tone that yoongi recognizes as the same one he uses when he’s sick of having to think about the thing mentioned. he must look slightly confused, since seokjin just scoffs. “it’s so pretentious sounding, i know. the whole thing is fascinating, though, it’s about how a culture is viewed based on their cuisine, and how location relative to that culture can change how the locals interpret the food, thus also changing the lens they see the culture through. like how british people have localized chinese food and how it causes there to be a different spice level than authentic chinese food—as an adaptation to the british palate—therefore leading people there to assume that a majority of chinese people must also have a low spice tolerance.”
yoongi gets it, but it’s definitely one of those things that he can’t ever imagine being as enthusiastic as his hyung is about it. “sounds—”
“oh, i know it sounds incredibly boring,” seokjin says after cutting yoongi off with a loud laugh. “i love the subject matter, but trying to make it into something academic takes all the fun out of it.” looking back down at his plate, seokjin starts the task of carefully twirling more pasta as he seems to deem it time for a subject change. “what about you, what have you been up to?”
leaning back in his chair, yoongi takes stock of his thoughts to figure out what’s actually interesting and lands on the thing that’s going to be his main focus going forward. “i’ve got my own huge project about to happen. it’s nothing out of the ordinary, just a song, but the fact that we’ve been partnered up is a,” he pauses, rolling the word around on his tongue, “i hesitate to say a ‘nice’ change, but it’s a change.”
“oh good lord, i hope they didn’t stick you with some tone deaf buffoon,” seokjin commiserates, but yoongi waves a hand in dismissal.
“nah, i got lucky that namjoon’s roommate is in the class as well, so at least i’m working with someone i hear has talent.”
“jungkook? the boy has talent dripping out of his pores, you definitely got lucky. have you heard him sing yet? you haven’t lived until you’ve heard him singing.”
the praise for jungkook isn’t out of the blue, what with namjoon talking about his skills in almost the exact same way, like it isn’t subjective and is instead just the cold, hard truth. yoongi shakes his head. “not yet, no, but we’re going to be getting together to figure out our plan tomorrow, so hopefully i’ll be able to finally hear what he sounds like.” seokjin picks up on the unintentional innuendo, waggling his eyebrows at yoongi, who just narrows his eyes at his friend. “be quiet, you know i didn’t mean it like that.”
seokjin throws his head back in a bark of a laugh and yoongi can’t resist the smile that it draws out of himself. “you can’t say that he isn’t attractive, though. i bet there are a lot of people who would love to hear what he sounds like.”
yoongi just chuckles, refilling his wine glass and taking a sip. “he’s adorable, you’re not wrong. have you seen how he looks at namjoon?”
“oh god, he makes it seem like namjoon hung the stars in the sky, the way he fawns.” yoongi forcefully pushes away the little surge of envy that he feels, hoping his smile doesn’t seem fake.
“it’s just a shame that namjoon seems to see him as a kid brother.”
seokjin looks curious, head tilted a little at the thought. “he said that?” at yoongi’s nod, seokjin seems to shake out of it. “classic case of denial. you and i both know namjoon isn’t the most in touch with his emotions, anyway. i mean, have you seen jungkook? i don’t think it’s possible to not fall at least a little bit in love with him.”
yoongi hates that he understands exactly what seokjin means, but gives a wry smile in return, quickly changing the subject as seokjin dives into the remnants of his dinner.
—
yoongi drags himself out of bed the next day when his alarm blares near his ear, trudging to his floor’s communal showers with his eyes still half closed. the water helps wake him up, but it also brings the clarity that he’s meeting up with jungkook later to figure out what they’re going to work on for their project. he groans to himself, forehead thunking against the wall in front of him as he realizes he’s going to be tasked with coming up with lyrics.
“dude, go jerk off in your room, this is a shared space,” he hears a grumpy sounding voice say from the next stall, and huffs in annoyance.
“fuck off, i’m not—” realizing that he’s just frustrated that his mind hasn’t been coming up with any lyrics that aren’t about jungkook, yoongi cuts himself off before he takes out his feelings on his neighbor. he stands up straight once more, scrubbing clean and toweling off to head back to his room, mentally fortifying himself so he doesn’t let slip anything weird to jungkook.
a few hours later, he’s knocking on the door to jungkook and namjoon’s dorm room, bag slung over one shoulder and phone out as he checks the assignment requirements one more time. the door swings open to reveal namjoon, shoes on, looking just as rushed as he always does.
“hey hyung, good luck with your thing, i’ve got—”
yoongi pats him on the shoulder as he gets closer, stepping out of the way and gesturing for namjoon to keep going. “don’t worry about explaining, just leave before you’re late, joon-ah.” the look he gets in return is relieved and grateful, and yoongi just smiles back before stepping inside and shutting the door behind himself.
“jungkook-ssi?” he calls out into the space as he takes his shoes off. it’s a single room with two beds, a desk and a couch shoved against two of the mostly-bare walls, so he’s not sure how he's struggling to find jungkook. moving inside a bit more, he pulls out the desk chair, swiveling it around to plop himself down, and tries once more. “jungkook-ssi? i know you’re here.”
there’s a thump followed immediately by a groan and yoongi leaps up to figure out what’s happened, body lurching in the direction of the far side of one of the beds. “i’m okay,” he hears jungkook’s voice groan out, and his pretty head is suddenly in view, popping up from where he’s apparently been kneeling on the floor. he’s rubbing above his ear, grimacing, but doesn’t seem seriously injured. “god, that didn’t feel good,” he grumbles.
“you okay?”
despite having been the reason for jungkook bumping into something in the first place, jungkook looks up in surprise at that, like he hadn’t realized he wasn’t alone. “oh! yoongi-ssi! is it time to start the project already?” his face is flushed and yoongi is endeared.
“seriously, jungkook-ssi, are you okay? that sounded like it hurt.” he reaches out to feel near the spot jungkook is still rubbing, wanting to check for damage, but stops himself, letting his arm fall back to his side and hoping jungkook doesn’t register what he was doing.
“yeah, i was just,” jungkook pauses to huff in annoyance, kicking at something under the bed that makes a hollow-sounding thwack noise. “i was trying to find the photos from a performance i did a few years ago to send to my mom, but i can’t find the fucking memory card they’re stored on.” with a shrug, his hand finally stops massaging his head and he straightens himself up. “it’s not that important, we’ve got other stuff to work on, anyway.”
“if you’d like, i can help you find it after?” yoongi offers, but jungkook just waves him off, the wide smile on his face setting yoongi at ease before he can even start overthinking what he’s offered. turning back to the desk, yoongi starts taking out supplies, sitting down in namjoon’s chair and waiting for jungkook to get comfortable as well before diving into ideas.
pen to his lips, jungkook stares at the paper in his hands. yoongi watches him as his eyes track the lines of text, his feet waggling back and forth where they’re stretched out on the bed, jungkook’s back against the wall. “i know we could go for something more experimental, but i’m kinda thinking it’d be fun to just do something with a more traditional song structure, since we can make it something amazing, what with our skills.”
yoongi hums. “it’s been a while since i’ve been commissioned to make a pop song, i wouldn’t mind the change of pace. what are we working with, though?” at jungkook’s blank look, yoongi nods at him, expectant. “jungkook-ssi, you still haven’t let me hear you sing.”
“oh!” jungkook says, smile splitting his face as yoongi lets his own spread. “i have no idea what to even sing, though,” he mutters.
“anything you want, i just like to be familiar with the tools at my disposal before i start writing, and if i have the tone of your voice in my brain, i’ll be able to let it guide my decisions.”
with a decisive nod, jungkook takes some even breaths, closing his eyes, before opening his pretty lips and letting out one of the most beautiful voices yoongi has ever heard. he lets his own eyes drift shut as well, letting the sweet sounds of jungkook’s singing curl around him like a tree in the breeze.
he gets a solid twenty seconds of just listening in before it happens: barrelling at him like a running bull, yoongi is suddenly filled to bursting with words. unlike the rush he’d felt the first time they’d locked eyes, weeks ago in that fluorescent lit classroom, this time it’s not just snippets, not just stray words that fall into little piles to sift through like pebbles from a broken wall, no. these are whole ideas, ones that yoongi knows he could take and make into something beautiful without much effort.
allowing himself to get lost in the sound, he tries his hardest to keep the words from drifting away without the ability to write any of them down. yoongi loses track of time, still sitting there in the wash of emotions when jungkook finishes singing. “yoongi-ssi?”
startled, yoongi jolts back to reality, and without conscious thought, he comes to the conclusion that he cannot let jungkook know what just happened.
“yeah, i’m fine, jungkook-ssi. that was beautiful, why are you here and not training with some company to become an idol? you’d have talent scouts beating down your door with a voice like that.”
jungkook blushes again. “ah, it’s not really my thing, especially not with how the big companies treat their talent. the corporate greed is something i’ve been trying to fight for years, why would i want to let them take advantage of me?”
quirking an eyebrow, yoongi can’t resist learning more. “what do you mean ‘fighting for years’? have you been part of those protests i’ve been seeing around campus this past year?”
with a shy smile, jungkook nods. “yes, actually. when i first enrolled here, i saw there were a few groups for different types of activism, and signed up almost immediately. it’s invigorating to be able to use my privilege to help make a difference.”
yoongi sits there, awed. “oh, wow, jungkook-ssi. that’s actually really admirable. i didn’t know—”
he gets waved off by a bashful looking jungkook, who grabs his notebook again in what seems to be an attempt at hiding his flushed face. “enough about that, yoongi-ssi, we have a song to plan.”
—
yoongi is still sitting in namjoon and jungkook’s dorm when his best friend returns, and a look at his phone informs him that they’ve been working on their project for five straight hours.
“oh! hi, guys, you still doing classwork? we should go out when you’re done, there’s this open mic i saw posted on the bulletin board downstairs,” namjoon says, cheeks dimpling with his smile. yoongi puts down the notebook he’s been holding, stretching his arms above his head until his back cracks, releasing some of the tension he hadn’t realized was accumulating. he’s filled almost six pages of notes; scraps of lyrics, a bunch of hastily drawn musical staffs with a handful of notes on each, short-hand for what he wants specific instruments to do. he’s pleased with their progress, considering he’s really only ever written music with namjoon and wasn’t sure how things would go with someone different.
the rustling of jungkook moving around makes yoongi turn his head, noticing once more that jungkook is flushed, looking at namjoon in excitement. “that sounds fun, hyung! let me put everything away and then i’ll be ready to go.”
“hyung?” namjoon asks, turning to yoongi; yoongi nods, picking up his bag to pack up his belongings. “you can leave your stuff here, we’ll just come back once we’re done at the bar.”
with a noise of agreement, yoongi stands up, stepping over to where namjoon is standing by the door. “how was your day?” he asks, nudging namjoon in the side.
“stressful, let’s not talk about it,” namjoon huffs, and yoongi snorts in amusement. “what about you? what are you two going to do for your song?”
“it took a while, but we decided on this melancholy tune that yoongi-ssi said has been floating around his head for a while. i’m excited, i don’t get to do songs like that all that often.” jungkook’s smile is so wide it makes yoongi feel light inside, but he ignores it.
“why did it take so long to get it figured out? that’s not like either of you,” namjoon asks, looking between yoongi and jungkook, puzzled.
jungkook shrugs, running some product or other through his hair while simultaneously trying to get his shoes on with only the aid of his feet. “i’m not sure, but after, like, an hour, yoongi just started writing and didn’t stop until he’d written down an entire song’s worth of lyrics.” yoongi knows his face is heating up, so he turns away from namjoon in the hopes he won’t notice as well. “it was so cool to see it happen in real time, hyung. like, i knew yoongi-ssi was talented—all the songs you’ve shown me of his have been amazing—and i also saw him come up with so many lyric ideas literally the first day i ever interacted with him,”—and it’s news to yoongi that jungkook saw him frantically rushing to get all of the words out when he first saw jungkook’s pretty face, but he’s glad the younger apparently hasn’t registered what the inspiration was—”but it was so unexpected.”
namjoon raises an eyebrow at yoongi, who brushes him off. he knows namjoon can’t read his mind, but that doesn’t stop him from worrying that his best friend will see it on his face, how every idea he’d tried to come up with for their project was absolute garbage for so long because he was trying to drag up anything they could use that wasn’t about jungkook. he’s still cringing internally at the absolute mess of a lyric that he’d offered up before giving into the lyrics that wanted to be used, something about peace and hope and clowns, and the day he forgets about it can’t come soon enough.
“i don’t know, joonie-yah. it was like a switch flipped inside of me without warning and the words came flowing out like they normally do.” he pointedly doesn’t share that the reason for his burst of inspiration came from being unable to continue disappointing jungkook with his lack of participation. that and the wave of lyrics that crashed over him when jungkook laughed so hard he fell to the floor upon hearing his clown lyric. after soaking in the sunshine that seems to radiate off of jungkook, yoongi took his pen in hand and started scratching out lines as fast as his hand would let him, surfacing after the final line to see jungkook staring at him with his jaw dropped and awe in his eyes.
namjoon seems to take his non-answer for what it is, and yoongi is grateful, and with a reminder of their open mic plans, they head to the door. he lets his friends go a bit ahead of him, their conversation a nice background noise while he lets himself drift a little bit longer before he plans to shake off the last of the haze of concentration, but he’s suddenly pulled out of his head by jungkook’s cheery voice.
“did jin hyung manage to actually teach you anything this time, hyung?” he’s asking namjoon, who apparently has spent the last handful of hours attempting to be taught how to cook. yoongi’s mind isn’t latching onto that fact, however, but instead he’s being hit with the knowledge that he and jungkook have been friends for a while now, and they’re still using such polite, distant formalities.
ignoring the little voice that’s screaming that he’s just jealous he’s not jungkook’s hyung, yoongi clears his throat, calling forward towards his friends to get their attention. “hey, jungkook! if you sing tonight, hyung will buy you a beer.”
it takes jungkook a moment to catch up, but when he does, his face brightens like the sky at daybreak, and he says with a laugh in his voice, “of course, yoongi hyung.”
—
yoongi does end up buying jungkook a drink after he performs, the small crowd of people watching all cheering for him like they’d paid to watch him sing as he walks back to the bar, away from the lone microphone in the corner. they end up locking gazes for a split second before jungkook’s eyes land on namjoon, and he scurries over to start gushing about the acoustics in the room and how nice the people were to listen so intently. yoongi slides over the drink, and jungkook takes it with a slight bow and multiple ‘thank you’s, but then he’s back to rambling to namjoon, and yoongi ignores the sinking in his stomach.
when jungkook gets up a little while later to use the restroom, yoongi decides to bite the bullet and be the wingman his new friend deserves. “so, joonie, he’s something else, isn’t he?”
namjoon just nods, grinning at yoongi like he knows something yoongi doesn’t. “he’s got more talent in his pinky finger than some of the people i’ve written music for will ever have in their entire lives. it’s a treat to get to watch him in his element.”
“he’s also got such a sweet face for someone as buff as he is,” yoongi continues, hoping to get namjoon to slip up and give him something to work with, something he can use to encourage jungkook, but instead namjoon barks out a loud, loud laugh that draws the attention of the people around them.
“sure, hyung, whatever you say.” the smug smile on namjoon’s face as he says this speaks volumes, shows that he’s keeping something from yoongi, and yoongi has to admit that he’s happy that things might work out for his friends, even if the thought of them together makes his chest feel trampled on.
—
“i’ve gotta admit, you’ve got balls, hyung,” jimin says with a smirk, finishing the last fold on the brochure in his hands and placing it in the completed stack to his right. yoongi doesn’t know whether or not to be offended, so he just waits it out, knows jimin will eventually elaborate if only to end the silence. he picks up his own sheet of paper and starts folding, staring at the text on it while he lets the tension build. he finishes rereading the third line for the nth time, just about to start the fourth—the one about donating things like insulin and old glasses and socks to the clinic to help out the addicts jimin works with—when his friend’s voice breaks through his thoughts. “ugh, i hate when you do that. fine, fine, i’m just worried about you.”
yoongi hums, hoping it encourages jimin to continue, not wanting to reveal something new that jimin doesn’t know yet while trying to defend himself.
“you’re still sending me love songs to review, hyung, and now you tell me that you’re working with your new muse? and that you’re going to be writing and recording a song about him? isn’t that flying a little too close to the sun?”
a part of him knows that jimin isn’t wrong, but the rest of him refuses to be dead weight on their project. no, he shouldn’t be tempting fate by baring his soul to jungkook and hoping he doesn’t see that it’s yoongi’s soul and not someone else’s, but what else is he going to do? leave jungkook to figure out the rest of their project on his own? sit back while he passes off his half of the workload and takes credit for it? the clown lyric pops into his head once again and he knows he’s doing the right thing.
jimin looks at his pile of unfolded fliers, still way too large for how long they’ve been folding, and splits it in two, placing more on yoongi’s pile. he’s pretty sure he wasn’t meant to see it happen, but he’s not going to let his friend get away with it, giving jimin a pointed look as he grabs the piece on top and gets to folding. “look, i’m just saying. you can go on and on about him only being your muse, but i know you. beneath that tough and intimidating exterior is someone who loves deeply and selflessly.” he reaches out to poke yoongi in the forehead, forcing him to look directly at jimin who’s stopped working on the brochures entirely. “you forget that i’m one of the people who’s seeing what you’re writing. you can force it away all you want, but it’s not going to disappear, hyung.”
yoongi sighs. “i know jimin-ah, i know,” he mumbles and wraps his hand around the finger still poking his forehead, giving it a quick squeeze before pulling back enough to look down at his task again. “so, did you hear that tae got a new job?”
the look he gets is sad, but it’s also full of love and empathy, like jimin knows he’s not ready to touch what he’s feeling. yoongi can’t help but wish for a future where he doesn’t need to worry about causing his friends concern, one where he’s over whatever he feels bubbling inside of him when he thinks about jungkook. with a deep and noisy sigh, yoongi watching him sit up straighter out of the corner of his eye, jimin takes the change in subject for what it is and grabs the next piece of paper with renewed energy.
“of course i heard taetae got a new job, who do you think i am?” he scoffs, fake-offended, and yoongi feels a little better with the new focus on his friend’s dramatics. “just because he moved an hour away doesn’t mean i stopped talking to him. the real question is, did you hear about his new boyfriend? some dancer guy named hoseok.”
yoongi lets himself relax while jimin updates him on his soulmate and how cute he and his new beau are, and eventually the two of them finish folding all of the brochures. jimin gathers them up, ready to take with him tomorrow to a demonstration on campus. as they’re about to go their separate ways for the day, jimin pulls him into an unexpected hug, whispering in yoongi’s ear before pulling away, “be gentle with your heart, hyung. it deserves happiness, too.”
—
almost a full week later, as yoongi is leaving his jazz theory and improv class, he walks straight into a distracted jungkook.
“oh! hey hyung, i didn’t realize this was what you’re taking.” jungkook motions toward the lecture hall’s doors, turning his phone so yoongi can see something official looking with a long list of what seem to be course names. “i’m hoping that it’s something available to me as well, i’d love to take it next semester.”
yoongi chuckles, putting a hand on jungkook’s shoulder to guide him out of the doorway and down the hall to the building’s exit. “what are you doing here, kookie? i thought you had class elsewhere.”
jungkook puts his phone back in his pocket, giving yoongi his full attention. “i asked namjoon where you’d be and he told me to come here. i was hoping to see if you’d wanna work on our song a bit more today? i tried texting you, but never got a reply.”
it takes an effort to tear his eyes away from jungkook’s adorable pout, but yoongi fishes his own phone from the side pocket of his backpack, clicking the lock button just to find that his battery’s been drained. “fuck, i forgot to plug it in last night,” he laments, staring at the darkened screen in disappointment. “i’m sorry, koo, but i’ve got plans. i was called to hybe for a meeting to see if i want to take another song writing gig, and i need the money.” jungkook’s disappointment is palpable, so yoongi rushes to find something to bring the smile back to his face. “if you want to walk with me for a little while, though, that would be okay. we can talk about the timetable for our project, at least.”
jungkook nods, falling into step next to yoongi once he points them in the direction of the train he’s catching to go to the company’s building. it doesn’t take them long to decide what days they’re both free to work on the song, with the general plan being that yoongi is going to put together the instrumental using everything they’ve come up with so far, then pass it off to jungkook for changes and final approval. yoongi’s hopeful, knows that this part of the process should come to him easily enough, but is already mentally rearranging his schedule beyond what he’s admitted to so he can get it to jungkook quicker than normal.
“and you’re sure you trust me to figure out the vocals on my own?” jungkook asks when they stop at the train station. “i wouldn’t mind if you wanted to figure it out together, considering they’re your lyrics.”
“jungkookie,” yoongi replies softly, placing a hand on his friend’s arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze in the hopes of alleviating some of the nerves he can see on jungkook’s face. “this is your song too, not just something you’re featuring on. you came up with it and you deserve to have the freedom to make it shine just as much as i do.”
he gets a grateful look in return, but it quickly becomes focused above yoongi’s face, jungkook reaching up with his free hand to pluck something from yoongi’s hair. the act is simple, but yoongi can’t ignore how his breath hitches as jungkook leans in closer to find whatever it is, pulling away with a wide smile, nose scrunched up as he shows yoongi—
“a feather?” it swirls away from the palm of jungkook’s hand when a car whizzes past, but everything still feels like it’s paused, yoongi still holding jungkook’s forearm, jungkook closer than he normally gets to yoongi, a small flush on his cheeks that yoongi’s sure is mirrored on his own face. “hyung, i know you’re practically a cat, but you can’t go around eating birds like that, clearly it makes a mess.”
“you brat,” yoongi breathes out, endeared by everything about jungkook and his cheeky grin, and pulls away to swat at his shoulder. “i’m not a cat, i’m a huge and scary tiger.” he only receives a snort in return so he shelves that argument for later, pivoting to the other thought in his head instead. “where did you pick up moves like that, koo? if that’s what you do with your friends, i can’t imagine how flustered you make the people you’re actually interested in.”
yoongi’s chuckling as he says this, but jungkook strangely has gone from pink cheeked to a red so intense that yoongi has to refrain from reaching out to touch his cheek just to feel the warmth. “oh, i mean, um,” jungkook says, trailing off awkwardly, and yoongi realizes he’s embarrassed his friend, probably from reminding him of how his crush on namjoon is still just a crush.
with all the subtlety of a brick to the face, yoongi panics and pulls out a change of subject that he hopes won’t seem too out of left field. “hey, did you see straight outta compton is being shown at that cinema near your dorm? i know namjoon wanted to see it and never got around to it, why don’t you guys go check it out later?”
jungkook’s brow furrows and yoongi doesn’t know what he said that caused it, but jungkook doesn’t leave him to stew in his own thoughts for long. “are you trying to pawn me, your favorite dongsaeng, off on someone else?” the words are joking, but yoongi can’t help noticing that they also seem sad in a way he can’t place a reason for.
“i think it would be great, you two should spend time together outside of schoolwork or your dorm room, bonding and all that.” the thought of jungkook going out on what is essentially a date with namjoon is a bittersweet one, but he knows he’s right.
“i mean, it does sound like fun,” jungkook says with a sigh and a small smile, and yoongi feels proud of himself for reading things right, for giving jungkook a way to further things with namjoon. “but, you and i are going to see it together, if it ends up being good.”
“wait, wha—”
“you’re right that joon hyung and i need to hang out more, but that doesn’t mean i want to spend less time with you, and i can see it in your eyes that you wanna see the movie too.” yoongi isn’t sure what his eyes are giving away, but he hopes that’s the only subconscious thought that jungkook manages to pick out. “besides, if the movie is as good as you’re making it out to be, i’ll have fun seeing it twice.”
he’s beaming at yoongi, now, and despite wanting to argue that jungkook deserves to go on a nice date with his crush, he can’t ignore the sounds of the train pulling into the station. he tries not to think about how it's bringing yoongi closer to his meeting, but further away from the sweetest boy he’s ever met.
“good luck with your meeting yoonie-hyung,” jungkook says, laying on the aegyo thick enough that yoongi reaches out to flick his ear. this just makes jungkook burst into laughter, gently pushing yoongi towards the line of people boarding the train before turning to head back towards their campus.
—
the next day, yoongi receives a text from jungkook.
[koo (12:41 pm)]
hyung! the movie was so goooooood~ we definitely need to go see it together
yoongi picks up his phone, smiling at jungkook’s excitement.
[yoongi (12:42 pm)]
i’m glad, jungkook-ah. did you guys go anywhere else, or just to the cinema?
[koo (12:45 pm)]
nah, nowhere else, just the movie. but namjoon hyung bought me popcorn and a slushie!
he recognizes that he brought this upon himself, but yoongi is unable to help how he feels queasy at the thought of namjoon tucking jungkook under his arm, tight to his side, and staying there in the dark for the whole movie. maybe he fed jungkook popcorn, it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility, especially with how jungkook’s existence invites people to treat him like the prince he is.
he sends back a smiley face and then puts his phone face down on the table, not wanting to think about it anymore for today, not when he feels like someone’s reached into his chest and squished his still-beating heart until it became a of gloopy pile of nothing, just pulsating and painful.
—
he doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but yoongi must drift off because he wakes up just after nine that night to his phone incessantly buzzing beneath his spine.
[joon july august (9:08 pm)]
image attached
yoongi stares at the preview on his lockscreen, wiggling around to shake off the weird sensation of falling asleep directly on his phone, and swipes up to see what was sent. it takes a moment to load, but once it does, yoongi can feel himself melting, fond beyond belief.
it’s a photo of jungkook, splayed across the floor of their dorm room. he’s got pen marks all across his face and yoongi squints to find— yes, there the pen is, still in jungkook’s hand, so he must’ve tried to scratch an itch in his slumber. he’s lying on a bed of what appears to be his homework, a textbook balanced precariously on his bent knee and his shirt rucked up just enough for his bellybutton to be visible.
[joon july august (9:12 pm)]
someone’s clearly not been sleeping enough lol
the banner for the text startles yoongi, who's staring at the photo, trying to absorb every inch of it. downloading the picture and opening up his chat with jungkook, he sends it off to the younger.
[yoongi (9:18 pm)]
a sleepy bun
he realizes upon sending the text that, despite hearing his other friends refer to jungkook as such, yoongi himself has never actually called him ‘bun’. there’s a thread of worry that he’s overstepped or made things weird, but he’s not expecting a reply anytime soon, considering the state jungkook is currently in. accepting that he’s not going to know how jungkook feels until he wakes up, whenever that may be, he looks at the photo again, curls up on his side, and tries to calm down enough to fall back to sleep.
to his surprise, it’s not even ten minutes before it’s buzzing again.
[koo (9:25 pm)]
oh shush 😛
yoongi snorts. he doesn’t know how to respond to that, but he’s saved by another message coming in a few minutes later.
[koo (9:30 pm)]
ps you only get to call me bun if you’ve bought me a bun already. soz, i don’t make the rules, i just enforce them 🤷
there’s a link attached, and when yoongi clicks on it, it brings him to some webstore’s listing for an adorable plush rabbit. it’s black with little gold and purple accents along its ears, which look floppy and soft. scrolling down a little more, yoongi sees the price is reasonable, so without a second thought, he goes through the process of adding it to his cart and placing the order. pulling up his chat with jungkook, he’s readying to send the confirmation page, but sees a message already waiting for him.
[koo (9:32)]
kidding, kidding. but like isn’t it the cutest plushie? i saw it earlier and wanted to show you 😊
deciding to refrain from sending the confirmation, yoongi just plays along, holding onto the thought of the purchase, choosing in the moment to keep it as a surprise for jungkook.
[yoongi (9:40)]
it’s super cute, bun, you’re right
he gets back a few bunny emojis in return and smiles at his phone.
—
nobody asked him to do so, but yoongi has decided that it’s his job—in the absence of common sense from either of his friends—to guide seokjin and jimin across the campus green while they’re too busy staring at seokjin’s phone screen.
tugging on jimin’s shirt to move him to the right, narrowly avoiding walking into a bench, yoongi sighs and manages to catch the tail-end of hoseok’s sentence.
“—vacation for taehyung if he doesn’t get to spend time with the people he cares about.”
it makes jimin coo, pout on his plump lips as he scrambles to take the phone from seokjin’s hand. “taetae, he’s right,” jimin whines playfully, and yoongi shifts attention just in time to guide seokjin to the left, keeping both of them from colliding with a fire hydrant. “you can’t come back home for two weeks and not spend time with us.”
“he’s right, you know,” yoongi pipes up from the back, and he hears taehyung laugh, low and soothing.
“hyung, i thought you’d checked out of the conversation!”
he lets out a scoff. “no, i’m still listening, i’m just making sure these numbskulls don’t walk into anything like the boomers they’re embodying.”
“boomers?” seokjin cries out, trying to turn around to swat at yoongi, but yoongi keeps his grip firm, continuing to guide the three of them to the dining hall.
“well, you have the same awareness of your surroundings as one, at the moment, so i don’t think i’m too far off. and don’t you sass me, mr. i-took-this-call-without-earbuds-in-public.” he says the second part to jimin, whose mouth’s hanging open, cut off before he could defend himself.
it’s hoseok’s turn to laugh, and he speaks through the lingering giggles. “yoongi hyung, we definitely need to hang out in person, you’re so much funnier like this than over text.”
any agreement gets delayed when yoongi is suddenly grabbed by the backpack, a yelp leaving his mouth as he lets go of his friends’ shirts, turning to deck his attacker in the face. he gets his arm pulled back as he twirls, but all of the fight leaves him instantly when he sees it’s jungkook.
“hyung,” he whines, drawing out the vowels in a way that’s probably annoying, but yoongi just thinks is cute. “you said you’d show me the final draft of the instrumental before you give it to me for the vocals.” he can tell his friends are rubbernecking, seokjin at least knowing what’s going on, but jimin having not yet met jungkook, and he wants to keep them out of this, at least while they’re being chatty little gossips with taehyung and hoseok.
“i’m sorry, jungkook-ah, i lost track of time. let’s head to one of the study rooms at the library, you can check out the mix and i’ll get it finalized to give you tomorrow.”
jungkook seems appeased, and with a wave from both of them at their clueless friends, they head back in the direction yoongi's just come from, basking in the warmth of the sun as they go.
—
yoongi needs to start paying more attention to how time manages to slip out of his hands when he’s with jungkook, he thinks to himself as he looks at the clock on his phone, realizing once again that it’s been four hours of sitting in a small room with jungkook.
despite yoongi’s continued work on the track, jungkook seems to be fighting sleep, so yoongi gently gets his attention, suggesting that jungkook just crash at his apartment since it’s closer. after receiving an easy agreement, they head out, and the walk back in the dark is peaceful, silent but not tense. jungkook points at a ridiculously large raccoon that’s making its way out of a trash bin, and yoongi laughs into the still evening air.
after dragging himself up the stairs, jungkook seems to finally give up, slouching against the wall next to yoongi’s door, eyes slipping shut like he’s prepared to fall asleep right where he’s standing. yoongi huffs out a laugh, patting jungkook on the back gently, and guiding him to the couch. the boy falls on it dramatically, and yoongi kneels down, helping him to take off his sneakers before he passes out. he disappears into the foyer, placing both pairs of shoes near the door, bag near them so he won’t lose it, then heads back to find jungkook already in dreamland, soft in sleep just like he was in the photo namjoon had sent.
it doesn’t take yoongi long to fall asleep, not after curling up in his warm bed, the image of a sleepy jungkook behind his eyelids as he drifts off.
—
yoongi wakes up to someone repeatedly poking his shoulder. turning over to gripe at whoever has decided to interrupt his sleep, he cracks his eyes open to see a wide-eyed jungkook, finger poised like he’s ready to poke again.
“wake up, i wanna go get breakfast,” he says softly, but when yoongi gives up the thought of falling back into slumber and grunts an agreement, jungkook’s volume raises as he lets out a cheer of excitement. smiling, yoongi shoos him off so he can get ready, and once he’s presentable, they head to the dining hall, jungkook already sharing some of the things that’ve happened in his life recently.
he continues talking in between bites, yoongi still too tired to do much more than nod, shake his head, or let out the occasional grunt, but it seems to appease him nonetheless. he’s zoned out a little bit when jungkook manages to catch his attention by dropping his bag on the table next to his bowl, the loud sound of books hitting the glazed wood startling yoongi out of the last bit of sleepiness he was basking in.
“i found this book at the thrift store, hyung, i think i wanna teach myself how to code and this should help me a lot.” he holds up a bright yellow book, ragged and creased with a tacky font reading “C# For Beginners” right across the center of it. “you wanna learn with me?”
consciously making sure to not look at jungkook’s face, knowing that his big pleading eyes will sway him into doing something he’ll hate, yoongi laughs. “i’ll pass, kookie, but good luck with the whole thing.” he manages to go another few minutes without needing to look at his tablemate, tucking into the last of his food while it’s still warm, but jungkook thrusting a flier under his nose makes him look up.
“how about this? i can teach you the steps, and it’ll be so much fun!” jungkook’s already pouting, eyes wide and yoongi knows he’s doomed, because he’s agreeing before he even looks at what jungkook’s inviting him to. a glance down seals his fate, his eyes landing on a lavender paper advertising some random-play k-pop girl group dance event.
as they clear up their dishes, separating to go to their respective classes, yoongi lets jungkook reassure him that he’ll make sure yoongi knows what he’s doing, that he’ll be a girl group choreo pro by the time the event actually happens. yoongi just smiles, glad that jungkook at least talked him into something that he has a chance of pulling off, the secret hidden store in his brain of choreos he’s memorized looking more appealing than ever before.
—
after trudging through the next hour-long block, yoongi heads back to his apartment, preparing to finish the song for jungkook and maybe get a little sleep in once he’s done. around the corner at the top of the stairs, his apartment in sight at long last, yoongi notices a cardboard box propped against his door. he wracks his brain to remember what he's ordered, but it isn’t until he’s inside and taking a pair of scissors to the package’s tape that he recalls the soft looking plush rabbit.
he reaches a hand in to feel it, and is glad to know that it’s just as nice as he’d hoped. leaving it on the table for the time being, yoongi smiles once more, heading to his computer to put the finishing touches on the song. it takes him a few hours, but once he’s done transforming the last of their ideas into a polished instrumental, yoongi saves the file onto a zip drive, pleased with himself as he puts the drive and the plush rabbit into his bag for safekeeping.
he’s already on his way to the cafe right across from the library when he texts jungkook to meet him there, and the thought of having two meals together in one day is just domestic enough to fill yoongi with a warm buzz that he pushes away.
he finds a table and then waits. losing himself in the book he’s been reading is easy, and it’s only when jungkook settles into the chair across from yoongi that he registers his surroundings once more.
“hey hyung, you’ve got the song?” jungkook asks, a soft smile on his face. yoongi nods, sliding it across the table. there’s a pause while jungkook yawns, and yoongi can’t help the concern he feels.
“are you sleeping enough, koo?”
“i—” jungkook cuts off to yawn once more, chuckling at the irony of his timing. “i’m fine, just tired from spending the last few days working on the promotional materials for a show i’m going to be doing this summer.” he rubs the inner corners of his eyes, wiping away the tiredness, and sighs. “give me a moment, i need to go get food.”
yoongi watches as he goes to the counter, sleepily ordering his food, then fumbling with his wallet, cheeks so pink yoongi can tell from their table halfway across the room. it’s sweet, he’s always sweet, but watching jungkook shyly interact with people like this is endearing.
he gets back to the table, food in hand, then digs in his pocket to pull out a crumpled piece of paper. yoongi takes it and flattens it out on the table in front of him, reading it over and humming in approval. “looks nice, kookie. are you nervous?”
“not really, it’s not like i haven’t performed for larger crowds before.” he takes a bite of chicken, chewing as he reaches out to take the flier back. “this will be nothing compared to that competition i signed up for when i was fifteen. i think the crowd was about three thousand people?”
“whoa, that’s impressive for a fifteen year old.” he has to pause, his brain suddenly trying to reconcile the talented and outgoing performer in front of him with the person who just stuttered through ordering a soda and rice. “how do you do it, koo?”
jungkook looks confused. “how do i sing? well, i mean—”
“no, no, like. how do you step out of your comfort zone and try new things like it's the easiest thing in the world?” jungkook doesn’t seem less confused, so yoongi keeps going, hoping he’ll properly articulate his question by the time he finishes rambling. “like, jungkookie, i know you. i’ve watched you make a phonecall and have to decompress after you hung up. there was that time you let a whole tray of iced coffee spill on you just to avoid it spilling on someone else, who you still apologized to anyway. but then you turn around and you’re so full of confidence, so willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want.”
jungkook opens his mouth like he’s going to speak, but ends up closing it without saying anything. “koo, the few times i’ve performed, it was hell. i enjoyed myself in the end, but despite music being everything to me, it was just so difficult with the lights beating down, the crowd looming in the darkness, judging me without knowing me. i can’t even begin to imagine how i’d be able to help front a protest, or get up in front of three thousand people, or anything else you do with such ease. just,” he takes the breath he’s been denying himself while he got all of that out. “how do you manage it without breaking down?”
the silence drags on and yoongi can’t help the nerves he’s feeling, afraid he’s fumbled things in a way that can’t be fixed, but eventually jungkook speaks up, clearly having spent a moment piecing his thoughts together. “i guess it’s because when i’m onstage or in front of a crowd of any sort, i’m at an advantage? i think?” he seems to need yoongi’s agreement, and at his nod of encouragement, jungkook continues. “it’s easier because i know they’re not being forced to listen to me, that they’re choosing to hear what i have to say, and suddenly it’s no longer scary.”
yoongi doesn’t know why he’d assumed a more complicated answer, but when jungkook finishes his sentence, letting silence fall once more, he’s able to acknowledge that it all makes sense.
unsure of what to say, now that jungkook’s exposed a part of himself, yoongi rushes to come up with something else to talk about, but jungkook cuts him off. “it also helps that, if all else fails, i can picture them in their underwear and how they’d be even more embarrassed than i feel in that moment, and it’s impossible not to laugh at how silly it all is.” he smiles wide, and yoongi can’t help but turn his lips up in return.
“cute,” he says, noting the light flush that almost instantly appears on jungkook’s cheeks. “oh! i almost forgot, i have something for you.” jungkook cocks his head, and yoongi unzips his bag, pulling out the plushie and placing it upright on the table between them. “a cute bun for a cute bun.”
jungkook lets out what can only be called a squeal, reaching out immediately to bring the rabbit close to his chest. arms wrapped around the plushie, jungkook looks up, directly into yoongi's eyes, and smiles, cheeks still a pretty pink. “thank you, hyung, i love it.”
yoongi has to look away, nodding in response. he hopes jungkook can’t tell that he’s panicking, that he doesn’t know how, inside of yoongi, he’s hurrying to stuff it all back into its box, all of the soft and sweet emotions that were just knocked loose at jungkook’s happiness. it takes him longer than normal, but he thinks he’s managed it, repeating to himself that he needs to come off as calm and cool, placid as a lake on a warm summer day, when jungkook calls his name and—
he looks up in response, their eyes meeting again, and he’s pretty sure there’s nothing he can do to stop the box from shooting off the shelf in his mind, the hinges bursting open and letting all of his emotions spill onto the floor and—
yoongi sits there, stunned, as he realizes maybe these feelings are a bit too big for a simple muse.