Chapter Text
It has been months now, since Alma and So’lek had woken the others and i from cryosleep, the RDA was mostly gone, and the humans in the resistance were slowly learning the way of the Na’vi and how to care for the land they were living on. Within these months, the scientists have found a way to process the Land given food so that humans could eat it too. So that’s where we were now, So’lek and I hunting together. He and I had been steadily growing closer on each of our hunts, of course we didn't get to hunt together always, but I loved it when we did.
He had been so gentle with me ever since we met, not in a smothering way, but in a warm, encouraging way, having faith in me because of who my clan was and the strength I had shown. I had asked Priya,( i know, big mistake) about the weird fluttery warmth i felt inside my stomach and chest when he was near, mainly worried i was sick, and she had squealed so loudly everyone covered their ears and turned to look.
“Karu, you have a crush!!! Didn’t they teach you about that growing up?” Everyone was now watching us with interest, making my ears flatten as So’lek met my gaze across the room, his ears pricked toward our conversation, I had no doubt he could hear it clearly.
“They were more interested in mass genocide rather than teaching us healthy relationship and reproductive things, even Alma didnt teach us about this stuff.” I answered as quietly as I could, shuffling uncomfortably, my tail flicking.
Noticing this, she had grabbed my arm, called for Ri’nela, and told us to follow her to her private station room. Upon arrival, she pulled out her Ipad and began to look something up. “Did they at least teach you the names of your privates?” I nodded.
“Good.” She handed us the Ipad and pressed play, thrusting me into one of the most awkward hours of my life to date. Anqi had come to Priya’s room after we had called her to the room so that she could answer questions Priya couldn't, after the hour was up. Of Course they could only talk about human relations, and shut down completely when we asked about different kinds of sex, telling us to rent out one of the spare ipads and watch something called “porn” to learn that stuff.
I never did, but Ri’nela would share information she had found out, making a different warmth bloom when I thought about doing the things she described with So’lek. Which led me to my present day issue. Hunting with the man I have a crush on. Who, as of late, has been a lot more chatty.
“Did you have family Karu?” I crouched down, trying to ignore how close he was to me.
“I did. Mercer killed my sister A’hari. Nor loved her so much. I never did figure out if it was as a sister or mate..." I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “If she was alive, she would’ve been able to help Nor.”
“I am sorry to hear it, friend. I lost almost my whole clan in the battle of Hallelujah mountains, my sister included, so perhaps we share a bit of sadness.” I hadn't known that. I coughed to cover up the sadness I felt for him.
“We share our sadness and our wish for vengeance” i comment, startling for a second as he pushed pass me.
“Aye, that we do.” Something in his voice catches my attention and I gulp as a burning question wells up in me.
“Did you lose a mate in the war?”
Solek looks down for a moment and takes a deep breath. “In a way, I did. Her name was Ne'ili. She was everything to me. She was my intended. We wanted to wait until after the war, so that it would be even more joyous.”
“I apologize for bringing up painful memories”
“It's alright. The scars of war run deep. I do not expect you to have an easy time of it either.” He smiled at me, making my heart skip a beat.
“Thank you for telling me” I offer, not really knowing what else to say.
Solek takes another deep breath .”It is sometimes difficult to talk about these things, but it is also healthy to open up. So, thank you.”
I bite my lip “Do you think you’ll ever look for another mate?”
“Honestly? I want to, I have someone in mind, but I don't know. It feels a bit like cheating on Ne'ili, you know? I know I should move on - it's been 16 years now, after all - but I just can't imagine being with someone else.” His voice seems to be searching.
“I’m certain she would want you to be happy, but you’ll be ready when you are or you may never be.”
Solek smiles a little. “You know, I never thought of it that way before now. But you're right. I bet Ne'ili would encourage me to move on, if she could.” His gold gaze meets mine, before darting away.
“She sounds like she was a wonderful Navi. Was she a warrior as well?” Just to hear the fondness in his voice as he talked.
“Oh, she certainly could hold her own in battle. But she was much better known for being a healer and teacher. She was patient, kind and compassionate, and I always tried to model myself after her. It felt like a privilege to be her future” I stare off into the trees, sending a quiet prayer to Eywa for these two souls that were destroyed by war, my heart hurting.
“I’m honored you share her memory with me,” I say quietly.
“It is nice to be able to speak openly about Ne'ili. I still find it difficult to talk to those who were once my clan about her, but perhaps that is because they knew both of us, and they see the pain in my heart.”
“I can understand,” I answer, thinking about how only Nor ever brought up Aha’ri.
Solek smiles softly again “Ne'ili was very kind to newcomers or outsiders, so she probably would have liked you. I certainly do!” He has a gleam in his eyes, one that suggests he was teasing me.
“I would’ve loved to share stories with her” I say wistfully, ignoring the warmth in my chest at his look.
“She would have liked that as well. She would have loved telling you about our culture, or the legends of our people. She knew them inside and out.” He sighed softly into the air.
“Did you have any surviving family?” I switch the subject, not wanting him to dwell on the soul of Ne’ili for too long. She deserves her peace.
Solek's smile fades a bit “No, the RDA destroyed them all, It is one thing that pains me most, because it deprives me of the solace that a family would bring.”
“We can be your new family as we have no one as well. We can bring each other comfort. In any way you wish.” I offer.
Solek is taken by surprise and blushes softly “Ah...that would please me. I did not expect you to be so...forward.” his voice was a steeped growl.
“I do not mean to make you uncomfortable.” I said immediately.
“I am not uncomfortable at all, friend. It is...refreshing, to be honest. Nowadays these things are always so complicated, awkward and...uncertain.”
“I cannot fully compare to what you’ve gone through as I have had no future mate, and I barely have the memories of my clan. I have wanted children but I do not know if I can conceive” I admit.
Solek takes one of my hands in both of his, “Friend, I have been alone for years. I have grieved, and mourned, and tried to move on but my heart was still empty, my life, meaningless and gray. The thought that you are willing to share your life with me, and that we might grow close like this...well, it fills me with hope that I never imagined to feel again.”
I squeeze his hands gently in response “I am honored you allow me to enter your heart.”
Solek squeezes back, looking relieved for some odd reason. “I have known you only a few months, but you have done more to heal my wounded heart than I have done for myself in years. I want you to know, you are welcomed in my heart.”
I press my forehead against his. “Thank you.” Hoping against hope that he means what i think he means.
Solek smiles again, running his hand through my hair while pressing his forehead against mine as well. “You need not thank me. You have brought me happiness I had all but abandoned hope for.”
“Come. Let us talk about happier things.” I say, embarrassed by the words. “What is your favorite food?”
Solek chuckles and thinks silently for a moment. “That may be a hard question to answer. I enjoy the food of my mother and father's clan, but I am partial to the dishes of Ne'ili's mother's clan as well. When pressed to pick one, I would say I prefer the simple flavors of the meat and grain dishes of my mother's clan. What about you?”
“I love the fruit and meat skewers of the Aranhe clan. An Aranhe elder taught me a recipe my mother taught him.”
Solek laughs. “I believe we are both partial to the foods of a people familiar enough to trust, yet unfamiliar enough to bring fresh flavors beyond what we know. Do the Aranhe include fruit in their meat skewers? Or are the skewers and fruit separate dishes?”
“They are combined.” I almost drool at the memory.
“May i have that recipe?”
“Of course! I have a friend in the Aranhe. His name is Eetu. He taught me how to ride an Ikran, maybe he could give me different recipes to try.”
Solek is taken by surprise “I did not know Navi from other clans would be so open! Many Navi can be quite proud of their ancestral traditions, so to hear of an Aranhe teaching an outsider their way is...uncommon, certainly. You mention Eetu as a friend - does that mean you have stayed within his clan before? Longer than what you’ve told us?”
“I have. Eetuwa and Nafika loved the Navi of my clan and took me in after you saved me from the humans. Eetu showed me how to fish from an Ikran as well”
“The water was always Ne'ili's place of peace. She would spend hours floating in the waters around our clan's lands. It brings back fond memories thinking back to her...calm and at ease with the world. I would not have asked, but...are you similar to her in liking the lakes?”
“I do. It’s quiet in the water. I would often use the polluted water at the sites to surprise attack AMPs.” He laughs hearing this.
“Cunning woman.” So’lek nods approvingly, and I know I'm imagining the sweeping of his eyes over my body.
He sits silently for a moment, thinking. “May I ask you a slightly awkward question?”
“Of course” I tilt my head at him.
So'lek hesitates a second, before asking “Do you ever...miss touch?”
I nod solemnly. “Always. I miss the feeling of being close with someone”
So'lek smiles sadly. “I understand. If I can be honest, I also miss the touch of another in a...deeper way, if that makes sense. I have felt this way for years. I wish I had someone who...well. Who would want to hold my hand, or hug, or…”
I swallow, praying that I'm reading the signs right. ”That can be me if you wish it to be” I extend my hand to him. So'lek takes my hand gingerly, as though not wanting to be inappropriate with the physical contact. With time, he relaxes. I pull So'lek’s hand to my chest, placing it over my heart. “I will be whatever you need me to be. You can set the pace. We will go as slow as you need.” I close my eyes, waiting for him to reject me.
So'lek smiles softly, and lays the palm of his left hand over mine, interweaving his fingers with mine. “I am not sure where to go from here, friend. I have not been this close to anyone but Ne'ili in a very long time. But I must admit...I am pleased by this.”
I smiled up at So'lek “thank you. I hope she would’ve approved of me.”
Solek laughs softly and shakes his head “Friend, you need not worry. Ne'ili was the most kind-hearted person I have ever known. She knew no hate, and she did not see the world with the anger and resentment that so many of us do. She would have welcomed you with open arms.” Solek waves his hand and chuckles softly.
I gulp. “May I kiss you?” His eyes widen and I immediately step back, releasing his hand and apologizing.
So'lek smiles softly “Friend, I do not think either one of us is at fault. We are simply exploring a new path, a path that is strange and exciting. It is natural to make mistakes, but I assure you, it is perfectly alright. We are not hurting anyone in this conversation.”
“Then-” I stop myself, he nods encouragingly. I take a deep breath. “Then make those mistakes with me?” I lightly brush my tail against Solek’s cheek then flick it away.
So'lek blushes and smiles nervously upon feeling the soft brush of my tail against his cheek, and at the words. “Ah, that is a very...interesting gesture. May I ask, why the tail flick?”
“It is how the young Na’vi in my clan would greet the males or females they were interested in.” I admit shyly.
So'lek laughs softly and blushes even more, smiling widely “I have never in my life thought I would see such a beautiful custom - and have it used upon me by a beautiful female. I must admit, I am quite intrigued by such affection!”
I rumble fondly, reaching out to tug gently on a stray braid, then sprint away laughing trying to distract from my racing heart.
So'lek blinks in surprise, but cannot help but laugh as well as the braid tickles slightly as it is teased. He shakes his head, wiping his mouth, but still smiles. “You've got such a playful streak in your heart. It is admirable after all you’ve been through”
I race up the nearest tree “always”
So'lek laughs as he climbs after me, slowly but steadily, watching as I dangle above him “You are very agile. I must admit, I am glad we have this opportunity to play.”
I swing upside down by my legs “you should always take time to play darling man”
So'lek is clearly taken a little bit by surprise at being called "darling man", but this time he just chuckles softly “I have not played in many years, but you are right. It is good to release these burdens and relax. It feels much better to laugh than to dwell on pain and sorrow.”
“And how do you feel about music?” I ask mock haughtily.
So'lek smiles fully “I enjoy music! Ne'ili would sing to me, sometimes, late at night where she thought I would not hear her. Or when she was worried about me, in the midst of battle. Music is so relaxing, as though it can wipe away pain and sorrow with a few notes.” His smile turns wistful.
“I remember the lullabies from my mother. I remember the harmonies rather than the words but they still sing in my heart "I confess, dropping down to his branch.
“My mother had her own special lullabies as well. I can still hear them as though she were singing them in my ears right now. I always preferred her singing to music played on instruments- there was a sense of calm in it that no other music ever came close to capturing.” He climbs down a vine and I follow, my heart thudding in my chest at what I was about to do.
He and I rest at the base of the tree and I extend my hands to him as I start to hum. I can hear his breath catch and I smile inwardly, hum, and he takes my hands, delicately, always so careful to be gentle with me. I slowly start to sway with him as I continue to hum.