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Sometimes Love is Lizards

Summary:

TK and Carlos go to Repticon, a reptile convention in Grapevine, TX.

Notes:

Pretty much what it says on the tin; Carlos agrees to accompany TK to a reptile convention and tries his hardest to keep calm.

Also there are jumping spiders in this fic (and they are totally real).

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Sleeping in was not something Carlos had ever really been able to do. The closest he ever got was when he was a teenager, and his body allowed him to sleep past 7. But otherwise, he just got up at the same time, even on days off. His mom used to tell friends, “Carlitos is up so early he wakes the rooster at our house”.

This was why, even though it was a day off, Carlos rolled over, ready to get up before six. He reached over to the other half of the bed… and it was empty.

Carlos sat up. That was unusual.

This was one of the days where his day off and TK’s lined up; and on those days, TK was never the first one up.

He wasn’t even the first one up on days where he worked and Carlos didn’t. Those days, Carlos would be up for an hour before he’d start to gently remind his husband that it was after seven, and he had an eight o’clock shift.

Carlos waited a moment to see if TK had just gone to the bathroom and if he would return to the bed. When this didn’t happen, Carlos softly got out of bed. The bedroom door was ajar; Carlos peeked out into the loft.

Someone wasn’t just up and returning to bed.

No, his husband was up and at ‘em.

Carlos tread as softly as he could. He was still out of view of the kitchen. This way, he could just listen.

TK was in the kitchen, singing softly to himself.

There were many things that Carlos had learned about his husband when they had moved in together; but nothing delighted him more than learning that TK liked to sing to himself when he was in the kitchen. It wasn’t the kind of stuff he would normally sing along to when they were in the car or when he was working out.

It was older, and nothing from the twenty-first century.

It'd be showtunes, or Carole King, sometimes Jim Croce.

Once, after catching the end of “I’ll Have to Say I Love You in a Song,” Carlos asked TK what put that in his head. TK started blushing profusely and admitted when he was in the kitchen, the music that popped into his head was favorite songs of his mother’s.

TK was at the kitchen counter, his back to Carlos. Carlos could hear TK softly singing “I Feel the Earth Move” to himself. He turned and almost jumped out of his skin. “Carlos!”

“Hi, baby,” Carlos smiled. “Good morning”.

“Good morning,” TK said, scampering over to kiss him. “How do you do that?” he asked. “I had no idea you were up”.

“I was being careful,” Carlos said, his hands rubbing up and down TK’s arms. “If you knew I was there, I knew you’d stop. I like listening to you”.

Right on cue, TK started to blush. “You’re not supposed to hear that”.

“I love hearing you sing like that,” Carlos murmured, planting kisses down the side of his husband’s face. “Are you feeling alright?”

TK nodded. “I feel great. Why?”

Carlos raised an eyebrow at him. “Because you’re up and making breakfast before six? On your day off?”

“I was just excited to get up”. TK ducked around to the coffee maker and pulled down a mug. “You’ve done this for me enough times, right?”

“Right”. Carlos nodded, following him over to the counter. “Are these…” he looked over at TK. “You made tostadas?”

TK nodded proudly. “I think they turned out better than last time”. As Carlos took a bite, TK added, “I know they aren’t as good as your mom’s, though”.

“She’s had a lot of practice,” Carlos said through a mouth full. He swallowed. “But baby, these turned out great”. So great, in fact, that Carlos couldn’t help but wonder what was up.

He wrapped his arms around his husband’s waist and pulled him closer. “Anything you want to tell me?”

“Like what?” TK said, his green eyes angelic.

“I don’t know…” Carlos shrugged. “The tostadas. The coffee. You’re up early on a day off”. He studied his husband’s face. “There’s really nothing going on here?”

“Nothing except you have a husband who loves you and is very lucky to have you,” TK said, stretching up to kiss Carlos on the cheek. Carlos took the plate and his coffee and sat down. He knew TK was up to something, but he could eat before he figured out what it was.

“Babe I was trying to think,” TK said as Carlos ate, “it being the new year and all… do we have any planned time off yet?”

“I don’t think so,” Carlos shook his head. “Just stuff we’ve talked about. Why?”

“Well,” TK said, drawing the word out into several syllables, “I saw something that’s in March in Grapevine that looks fun to go to. How far is Grapevine from here?”

“About a three hour drive”. Carlos answered. “Maybe more…” He looked at TK. “And what’s in Grapevine in March?” From his husband’s face, Carlos knew that TK was trying to choose his next words carefully. It was clearly something he really wanted, but he was worried that Carlos was going to say no (which gave Carlos an idea of what it was).

“It’s… like an exhibit,” TK started. “Where stuff will be on display that we wouldn’t get to see normally and we could go check it out and stuff”.

“Uh huh”. Carlos took another bite of his tostada. “And… what would be on display?”

“Likedifferentkindsofreptiles”. TK’s words came out so quickly that they ran together; but Carlos picked out the one he was waiting for.

Carlos swallowed. “So, reptiles? I wonder why it’s in Grapevine. Do they get more reptiles than other places do?”

“No, babe, it’s only in Grapevine this year”. TK told him. “It moves around”.

Carlos’s eyebrows furrowed as he talked. “TK, is this an exhibit or a convention?”

“Aren’t those the same thing?” TK said breezily. “Babe, do you want some orange juice? I forgot to ask you”.

“I would love some orange juice,” Carlos said as TK bounded over to the kitchen counter. When he returned to the table, Carlos added, “And there’s a key difference between an exhibit and a convention. An exhibit, they want to show you things. A convention, they want to show you things that they can sell you”.

“This wouldn’t be like that!” TK insisted. He was still standing and started to sway back and forth. Carlos rued the day he told TK how cute he thought that was.

“Here,” TK said, producing his phone and handing it to Carlos. “Just read about it, please?” Carlos took the phone and started scrolling down the page. If this was get-up-before-six-on-a day-off-go-to-all-this effort worthy, this was something TK really wanted to do. Before he had even finished reading, Carlos knew he was going to a lizard convention.

Cause as much as TK liked to say that Carlos was a control freak, they both knew that TK got his way a lot more than often than he didn’t.

Even though Carlos’s eyes were on his phone, he could feel his husband’s eyes on him. “Babe, I’m not going to read it faster with you watching me”

“I wasn’t watching you!” TK shook his head vehemently. Carlos fixed his husband with his best stare until TK finally blinked.

“Okay, maybe a little,” TK hedged. “But it sounds cool, right?”

Not to Carlos, it didn’t. It sounded like walking on his knees through the gates of hell with no shoes on.

“It’s still a couple months away,” Carlos nodded. “I’ll put in for the days off at work tomorrow”. TK’s whole face lit up. If he had a tail, he would be wagging it nonstop.

“You are the best!” TK said, jumping into his husband’s lap and covering him with kisses. “And I looked up Grapevine,” TK added between kisses. “It looks pretty cool. If you don’t want to go to the convention, there’s parks, LegoLand, escape rooms—”

“Baby”. Carlos kissed his husband’s nose. “Remember that I’m the one who grew up in Texas? I’ve been to Grapevine before. I’m going to be by your side all day”.

“You are?” TK bounced happily.

“You bet”. Carlos cupped his husband’s face in his hands. “There’s no way you’re being cut loose in a lizard convention by yourself”.

“Reptile convention, babe,” TK corrected. “They call it Repticon for a reason”.

“Of course they do,” Carlos nodded. “So they can sell you lots and lots of reptiles”. He meant it as a joke, but he could tell that the mere prospect of having a home full of reptiles made his husband excited.

“Baby”. Carlos put his hands over TK’s and squeezed them gently. “Going to this does not mean that we are bringing anything new home other than a couple T-shirts. I need you to know that going in. Okay?”

“I know that, Carlos,” TK said, his lopsided grin huge.

“You do?” Carlos said, not completely convinced. “Can you promise me that we’re doing this for fun, not for shopping reasons?”

“Shopping can be fun though, babe,” TK grinned. The look on his husband’s face told him that he wasn’t going to get a smile out of him this way. “Fine”. TK sighed dramatically. “I promise that this trip is for fun, not to bring home new friends”.

Thank you,” Carlos said. Even though TK was in his lap, Carlos still pulled him closer and kissed him.

“Although,” TK said as he slung his arms around Carlos’s neck, “you’ll have to break it to Lou. He was hoping to have a new playmate around”.

“You talked about this with Lou before you brought it up to me?” Carlos asked.

“We discussed it”. TK nodded. “We agreed that we wanted to be respectful of your feelings. Lou worries about you”.

“Well, I appreciate that, baby,” Carlos purred as he kissed TK’s neck.


Two months passed by way too quickly for Carlos’s liking. He blinked twice, and it was Saturday, the 23rd of March. And they had left the comfort of their loft before eight in the morning to drive two hundred and eleven miles to attend a reptile convention.

As the date got closer, part of Carlos was hoping for a way out; that the convention center would need to close for a harmless reason (since he had been inside his home when it started to burn down, he wouldn’t wish that on anybody) or that there would be an uprising of the reptiles and they would all escape.

But there wasn’t a lizard uprising, and TK insisted they leave as soon as they could, and then promptly fell back asleep before they were even out of Austin.

Carlos, ever the vigilant driver, was watching the road, and looking at his husband in the passenger seat out of the corner of his eye. The idea of self-driving cars terrified Carlos, but it would mean that he could watch his baby sleep and not have to worry about crashing the car (or worry as much. He’d still worry. His brain had never quite figured out how to turn that part off).

“TK, we’re here,” Carlos said loudly as he made the turn into the parking lot of the convention center. TK murmured softly in response. Carlos had parked the car and TK still hadn’t moved; he had slunk down so his head was leaning on the side of the seat. “Baby,” Carlos gently shook his shoulder. “If you want to do this, you’re going to need to get out of the car”.

Still nothing.

Carlos was almost jealous that he could fall so deeply asleep in something that was moving.

The movie they had watched the night before gave Carlos an idea. He unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned over so his breath tickled TK’s ear. “Look out the window, princess,” he said breathily. “And welcome to Genovia”.

TK’s eyes open with a dreamy smile. “I knew you loved that movie”.

“Remember I’m the one that has sisters?” Carlos chuckled. “I had seen it before. It surprised me you wanted to watch that movie”.

“Anne Hathaway doesn’t miss”. TK yawned as he unbuckled his seatbelt. “I would’ve given her the Oscar then”. He blinked. “That drive didn’t feel that long”.

“That’s because you passed out before we were outside of the Austin city limits,” Carlos told him. “We didn’t have to leave so early”.

“But cause we did,” TK smiled, “now we can be here longer!”

“We’ve got all the time in the world, baby,” Carlos said, briefly cupping his husband’s face with one hand. “But wait a second, okay? This lot is busy”.

“You’re just saying that because you want to get the door for me,” TK teased. Normally, he liked when Carlos did this, but he couldn’t believe they were actually here. He didn’t want to wait.

TK threw the car door open as Carlos was putting away his phone. “TK—” Carlos called. He saw TK standing right outside the car. Then he looked down for one second, a car went by way too fast, and his husband was not standing there anymore.

“TK!” Carlos exclaimed. He opened his door as fast as he could and raced around to the other side of the car… where TK was kneeling down, tying his shoe.

“TK,” Carlos panted, hugging his husband to him as he stood up. “Oh, thank God”.

“Babe,” TK squeaked until Carlos released him. “You’ve gotta pace yourself. I didn’t think not waiting for you to open the door warranted a you’re-trying-to-gently-crush-my-ribs hug?”

“Oh, no?” Carlos raised an eyebrow at him. “How close did that car get to you just now?”

“Not super close”. TK lied. His husband didn’t move or even blink. “Okay, it missed my foot by that much,” TK admitted, holding his fingers about an inch apart. “But I’m fine,” TK added as he got his backpack out of the car. “And we’re here to have fun, right?”

“Uh huh,” Carlos said as he interlocked his own fingers with TK’s as they walked towards the building. “Although I clearly should have clipped a leash to your backpack. Or put you in a harness”.

“Well, now you know that for next time,” TK grinned. “Then again,” he added flirtatiously, “if you had your heart set on making it happen today… I wouldn’t be opposed”.


“Where do you want to start?” Carlos asked. They were inside, had checked in, and were surrounded by people heading every which way, weaving around the different tables and booths. Carlos saw many carriers and cages on top of every single one, and was secretly telling himself it’s okay, they’re locked up, they’re locked up.

“I don’t know,” TK said, trying to take in everything at once. “Babe, you pick”.

“You want me to pick?” Carlos said, surprised.

“Yeah”. Tk nodded, then cast a sideways look at his husband as his grin got wider. “Unless your pick would be to throw me over your shoulder, get in the car and not stop driving until we’re safely back home”.

“Not at all”. Carlos shook his head. “I’d throw you over my shoulder, put you in the car, stop for coffee, and then not stop until we were home”.

“Gotcha,” TK giggled, kissing Carlos’s hand — that was holding on to his own like they were in Titanic and TK was the one on the door. “I knew you’d have a plan”.

“Well, you have to be prepared,” Carlos murmured, having to actively stop himself from running his free hand through TK’s hair. Carlos was a little more comfortable with displays of affection in public than he used to be, but they were in a crowded indoor place in an unfamiliar city. He didn’t want to take any chances.

“How about this way?” Carlos suggested, pointing to the aisle to TK’s right.

TK’s lopsided grin got even bigger. “As you wish, baby”. TK led the way as they started down an aisle with tables adorning them on either side.

TK stopped at one with a banner that read, “Regal Reptiles”.

“Hi,” TK said brightly. “I’m TK. This is Carlos”. Carlos just smiled and nodded at the woman at the table.

“Hi TK, Carlos”. She smiled. “I’m Darcy. Thanks for stopping by. What are you looking for?”

“Well, we have a bearded dragon,” TK explained, extracting his hand from Carlos’s grip and moving closer to the table. “And I saw your sign said that you specialize in different types of dragons?” He bent down to peer into a cage. “Who’s this guy?”

“That is a black dragon monitor lizard,” Darcy answered. “Do you want to hold him?”

“I’d love to,” TK eagerly nodded. Carlos watched as Darcy handed TK a very long, wiggly lizard with a long, skinny tail. “Buddy, you are a handsome fella, aren’t you?” TK murmured as he put the lizard on his shoulder and started stroking it.

It didn’t stop wiggling the entire time.

“This guy’s actually kind of small for this kind of monitor,” Darcy told TK. “He’s only about three feet long. They can grow to be over eight feet long”.

Oh, dear God Carlos said to himself. Eight feet of lizard. That was the stuff of nightmares. But even though this lizard was much more skinny and wiggly than the bearded dragon taking up residence in their loft, Carlos thought of the first time he brought Lou II home and the first thing TK did was put him on his shoulder like he was a newborn baby.

As Carlos watched TK and Darcy have an animated discussion about the different lizards, Carlos couldn’t help but smile. TK had such a natural gift with people. Not that Carlos wasn’t used to talking to people as well; he needed to for his job, and he genuinely loved helping people out. But he didn’t have the… whatever it was that his husband did. His husband could make a genuine connection with anybody and make them feel at ease.

It made Carlos think of a story that he had heard a few years before when TK’s mother was around. When she was there during the early days of the pandemic, she told Carlos about how when TK was three or four, they called him “the little mayor” because when he went for walks in the city with his parents, there was no one that TK didn’t want to stop and talk to.

(Also, thinking of this stopped Carlos from jumping in because he could see his husband was having a ball, but also, his husband was currently kissing the stomach of a lizard).

“Thanks for letting me hold him,” TK said as he handed the black dragon back to Darcy. “What’s in this one?”

“We’ve got some baby bearded dragons too,” Darcy said, motioning for TK to come over to the side of the table. “Did Lou look like this?” TK’s mouth dropped and his face lit up like a kid at Disneyland watching the fireworks for the first time.

“They’re so tiny!” TK squealed as he cradled the small lizard in his arms as its claws scrambled up and down his arm. He looked back at Carlos. “Babe, why wasn’t Lou this small when we got him?”

“When I picked him up, they didn’t have any baby ones”. Carlos answered. He was grateful TK was distracted enough not to poke holes in this answer; Carlos always stressed how important honesty was, but honestly, Carlos made damn sure that any lizard he brought home was big enough that it wasn’t going to crawl onto his shoulder undetected. He had specifically asked the guy at the store for any scaly thing he purchased to be full grown.

“Oh, you are too precious,” TK cooed at the lizard that was no bigger than his hand. “Oh, they’re perfect”.

“And they’re only sixty-five dollars”. Darcy said brightly.

Uh oh.

TK turned towards Carlos, hugging the baby bearded dragon, still twisting in his hands. “Babe, I know we—”

“Remember outside, when you told me to pace myself?” Carlos said softly. “You need to follow your own advice. TK, this is the first table. We’ve got a lot more to see,” he added.

“Fine”. TK sighed dramatically and handed the baby bearded back to Darcy. “But we can come back?” he said hopefully to Carlos.

“Yes, we can come back”. Carlos nodded, hoping to God that they wouldn’t.

Because sixty-five dollars was a hard price for Carlos to pitch that they were too expensive.


The next couple tables, TK looked at but didn’t stop. Carlos was much happier with this; holding hands and just floating along, far enough away from the creepy crawlies in cages; this was the level of the reptile convention he could do.

It came to an end far too quickly; when TK stopped at a table with a banner that read “Slither Circus”.

“Babe!” TK said excitedly as he dove at the table. “Look at that snake! Hi,” TK said to the guy at the table. Carlos stayed rooted to the spot. He didn’t usually use cliches, but why, oh why did it have to be snakes (or frankly, reptiles… in general).

“Oh, he’s friendly,” TK giggled as the snake made itself comfortable. Carlos could hardly tell if the snake was coiling himself around TK, or the other way around. “His skin is so pretty. You know it, too, don’t you?” He gasped and looked enthusiastically at Carlos. “Babe, did you see that? He just nodded at me!”

Carlos hadn’t seen it, but he nodded along. “I did, that’s… something. I didn’t know that snakes could nod”.

“It’s the breed,” the guy at the table interjected. “He’s a spider ball python, and they’re born with a neurological disorder”.

“Aww, poor guy,” TK said, his eyes wide.

“Oh, he’s okay,” the guy added. “It happens with all of them. It makes their head move more than you would see with other snakes, but it doesn’t harm them. They call it the ‘spider wobble’. How much a snake has it varies from snake to snake”.

“He’s got it a lot,” TK said, rocking back and forth on his heels as he held the snake. “But he’s proud of it. He makes it work”.

“They’re good snakes for beginners,” the guy added. “They’re good with people. Very chill”.

“Did you hear that, babe?” TK turned to Carlos, beaming. “These guys are cool. They love people”.

Carlos was about to respond when he noticed the price tag on the tank. “Is this right?”

“Oh, yeah”. The guy nodded.

Carlos turned to TK. “TK, did you see this? This snake is nine hundred dollars”.

“That’s just this one,” TK protested, bumping another tank with his elbow. “Look at this one. It’s only three hundred and fifty”.

“Yes. Only”. Carlos sighed. “Only a three-hundred-and-fifty-dollar snake”. He cast a long look at his husband. He really hoped he didn’t have to drag him away from every table.

Thankfully, his husband seemed to get this. “Thanks for letting me hold him,” TK said as he unfurled himself from the snake. He cast a hopeful look at Carlos. “We’ll come back?”

“We’ll come back”. Carlos said, linking his arm through TK’s to gently guide him away from the snakes.


After they had seen the rhino iguanas (which TK insisted was just trying to hug him, although from his vantage point Carlos felt that the iguana was trying to gnaw on him) the cherry foot tortoise (that’s all they needed, a pet that would outlive them both) they came upon a table that had Carlos’s worse nightmare; the alligator lizards.

Shades of Lou I.

Carlos actually felt like he was having war flashbacks. TK saw his face and cooed, “It’s okay, it’s okay, we’re okay,” gently dragging his husband along to turn the corner. “Are you alright?” TK asked, interlocking his fingers with Carlos’s.

“I’m fine”. Carlos chuckled. “I was just… surprised. I didn’t think anyone else would have those things as pets”.

“It takes all kinds,” TK murmured. He would prefer to attack his husband with kisses, but PDA in public made Carlos very uncomfortable, so he kissed his hand instead. “You know baby, they have a table with coffee here and stuff,” TK added. “I would understand if you want to take a break”.

“A break?” Carlos repeated suspiciously. “Have you been waiting for me to step away so you can get something?”

“Of course not!” TK exclaimed, batting his how-are-they-so-long eyelashes and looking hurt at the suggestion.

But Carlos was very familiar with the TK pout. But he couldn’t wrap his arms around his husband’s waist in public, so he pulled him closer by his backpack strap. “Really?” he asked softly. “Cause even if you got one of the snakes that are only $150, rest assured, baby. There’s nowhere you could hide it on your person that I couldn’t find it”.

“I think that came out a lot hotter than you meant it to,” TK said, beaming at him. “And it wasn’t anything like that,” TK added. “But what I wanted to do next is something I think you’d want to stay away from”.

“Try me”. Carlos said, unblinking (he kept to himself that Carlos felt that way about every single thing they’d seen today, right down to the guy selling freeze-dried ice cream).

“Okay”. TK started. “Cause I don’t know if you saw this when we were looking at this online, but they… they sort of have… bug tables… here”.

That, Carlos wasn’t expecting.

“Bug tables?” Carlos repeated. “There’s… no chance you just meant ‘big’ tables, is there?”

“Well, I mean, they do have those too,” TK nodded. “The freeze dried ice cream guy’s table is massive. But they have vendors here with different bugs. And I heard about this guy who builds different enclosures for jumping spiders, and I… kind of wanted to check it out”.

Carlos couldn’t see himself, but he knew that he had visibly paled. He absolutely hated spiders. The only thing he hated more than spiders was the fact that he hated spiders. He was a grownup, a cop, and it wasn’t like he was unaware of his physique; and yet he had the memory of the month before when he climbed up onto his sister’s dining room table without thinking as his four-year-old nephew took a spider outside and his seven-year-old niece patted his arm and told him it was okay (their mother, Carlos’s sister, was beside herself laughing so much she could barely stand up).

“But we don’t have to,” TK said quickly, rubbing his hands up and down his husband’s arms. He desperately wanted to kiss Carlos, but figured that would just freak him out more because they were in public. “It was just an idea. We can take a break, though. If you want”.

Carlos blinked. “No. It’s okay”. He swallowed. “You want to see them”.

“Yes, I do”. TK admitted. “But I don’t want to scar my amazing husband for life, so we don’t have to”.

“Tell you what”. Carlos took a hold of both backpack straps to make the distance between him and his husband nonexistent. “Can you promise, absolutely swear to me that nothing with the words “jumping” or “spider” in its name is coming home with us?”

“Does that rule out the snakes we saw earlier?” TK asked. “They had spiders in their name, too”.

Carlos groaned. “Tyler Kennedy…”

“Okay, okay,” TK said with a grin. “Sheesh. I really don’t think is full name worthy”.

“To keep anything even remotely spider adjacent from joining us in the car later, it absolutely is,” Carlos replied. “I will three-name you if I have to. And,” he added, “don’t think I haven’t noticed you haven’t agreed yet”.

TK just grinned at Carlos and started to sway back and forth. “I promise that nothing that can jump or spider I will buy in your absence. Even though,” he smiled mischievously, “if we wanted to pretend later that there was a snake on my body and you had to find it, I think we could explore that”.

Carlos hugged his husband to him and smiled when he felt TK rest his head on Carlos’s shoulder for a moment. Carlos really loved this goofball so much, he would give him the world.

“I’m going to go use the bathroom,” Carlos said, squeezing TK’s shoulder gently. “I’ll be right back”.

“Take your time,” TK said with a smile. He watched as Carlos weaved his way through crowds of people to the restroom.

When Carlos came out of the bathroom, he found the guy selling coffee. He was a little surprised to see that they had boba tea as well, but he got one for TK. With a cup in each hand, Carlos scanned the crowd for his husband.

He found him in front of a table, predictably in the front, leaning over the table — did something just JUMP off his shoulder?

Carlos did a double take. There were people in between them, and his eyes could be playing tricks on them. But it looked like there was a flash of a something that was near his hand on his shoulder, and then it… wasn’t.

“Carlos!” TK spotted his husband and waved excitedly. “You should see these things go! Their little butts, and their abs go up and down like crazy!”

Carlos wondered if his husband was still talking about spiders; Carlos had never really thought of a spider as having abs. Or a butt.

He mostly thought of spiders as terrifying when all they could do was use their many legs to scuttle up walls and across the ceiling. Having the ability to jump made them too powerful.

“TK, I got you boba,” Carlos called, rooted to the spot where he was still standing a few feet away.

“You did?” TK smiled.

“Yep”. Carlos nodded. “But you have to come get it over here”. TK rolled his eyes but nodded. He turned and said something to the guy at the spider table before turning and joining Carlos.

“Hi, baby,” TK said. His smile dropped when Carlos took a step back as he got closer. “What’s wrong?”

“There aren’t any more spiders on you, are there?” Carlos asked, concerned.

“Is that what this is?” TK asked. “Babe. You don’t have to worry. I put them all back”.

“Them all?” Carlos repeated. “How many did you pick up?”

“Not more than six”. TK said as he took a step closer. “You should see the enclosures this guys makes for them though,” TK said as he took a drink of the boba. “They’re like the size of shoeboxes, but they’re all differently themed. Like there’s one that’s Alice in Wonderland themed, and one that’s Pirates of the Caribbean themed, and one that’s The Notebook themed. It’s pretty cool”. Carlos was still stuck on the fact that his husband had held six of these nature-defying spiders; although he did wonder how a spider’s house could be The Notebook themed.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Carlos said. His eyes raked up and down TK’s clothes. “You’re sure all the spiders got back in their houses?”

“Yes, baby, I’m positive,” TK grinned, leaning into Carlos’s side. “So I guess you don’t want to hear about the death-feigning beetles either?”

“The… what?” Carlos asked.

“Oh, they’re the coolest,” TK explained, bouncing on his toes. “They’re these beetles, and you think they’re just regular bugs, but if they feel like they’re in danger, they roll onto their backs and pretend that they’re dead! Because their main predators are spiders, and they like to eat them when they’re still alive versus when they’re dead”.

“Is that right?” Carlos nodded. Something more scary than bugs; bugs who can act, apparently. “Was the table with the beetles next to the one with the spiders?”

“Yeah”. TK nodded. “I thought that was poor planning, too”. He slurped up the last of his boba and looked over Carlos’s shoulder. “Wanna keep going?”

“Sure”. Carlos nodded. “You lead the way”. He followed TK to a booth with a banner that read, “Sometimes Love is Lizards”.

This time, when TK lifted up a mack snow leopard gecko like it was The Lion King, Carlos was just grateful that it wasn’t a spider.

Or even worse, a spider who could jump.

“Baby, look,” Carlos said as TK handed the gecko back. He nudged TK and pointed to a basket on the table full of stickers.

TK’s face lit up. He was someone who loved him some stickers, and had a collection od reusable water bottles partially so he’d have a place to put stickers. “Can I take more than one?” TK asked the girl at the table.

“Of course,” she smiled. As TK sifted through the stickers, Carlos took the empty cup out of his hand and went to find a recycling can. When he got back, TK eagerly grabbed his husband’s arm. “Babe! Guess what!”

“What?” Carlos asked, praying to every god and then some that the next words out of his husband’s mouth wouldn’t be “I adopted a gecko while you were away for two seconds”.

“Well, this is Bridget,” TK started, indicating the girl behind the table, “and she actually lives in Austin too, like we do”.

“Uh huh,” Carlos nodded, still unsure exactly where this was headed.

“TK was telling me about your bearded dragon,” Bridget added, “and I actually have bearded dragons as pets too. In addition to the geckos, and the iguana”.

“Babe, Bridget lives in a four-floor walkup,” TK chimed in, “and she has twelve reptiles for pets. Twelve? Can you believe?”

“I really can’t”. Carlos shook his head. And he really didn’t want TK getting ideas.

“Oh, unclench,” TK said, taking Carlos’s hand. “I’m not pitching you. We’re just setting up a playdate”.

“Playdate?” Carlos repeated. “For…”

“Lou and Bridget’s beardies,” TK finished. “She has three”. He turned back to the table. “I’ll text you next week, we can set something up?”

“Sounds great”. Bridget nodded. “And you have my Insta handle?”

“Yeah”. TK nodded. To Carlos he said, “She has pictures of all her pets on her Instagram”.

“Cool”. Carlos said as he gently steered TK away from the table.

“It is?” TK said as they passed more tables. “You’d be cool with Lou having a social life?”

“We’d go to Bridget’s place, right?” Carlos clarified.

“Yeah”. TK smiled. “I figure her bringing them to our house wouldn’t go over well”.

“You figured correctly”. Carlos reached up and lightly scratched TK’s scalp. It was brief, but TK half closed his eyes and looked like he was going to start purring.

“What do you want to do now?” Carlos asked.

“Can we get some freeze-dried ice cream?” TK asked.

“Baby, I’ll buy you anything that isn’t a spider”. Carlos said as he put his arm around TK’s shoulders.

“So, does that mean the gila monster is on the table?” TK asked hopefully.

Even though there were still people around, Carlos leaned over and kissed his husband’s impossibly perfect hairline twice. “It does not”.

“Fine”. TK sighed dramatically. “What about one of those pink hoodies?”

“Now that I’ll buy”. Carlos said as he kissed TK’s hand, tightly holding on to his own.

Notes:

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