Chapter Text
It’s an odd and quiet moment on the Going Merry.
Sanji feels the gentle sway of the ship on the waves underneath his feet. The rhythmic clink of the hanging pots and pans together. He’s cleaned the same spot on the counter so many times he can see his reflection. He’s frowning.
He doesn’t always know what to do with the quiet. He’s used to the chaotic atmosphere of Baratie and the kitchen. The constant noises. The smells. The almost perpetual yelling either from someone, mostly from Zeff, and him reacting. His heart constricts when he thinks of the shitty chef. They haven’t been seeing eye to eye much at all lately.
For the first time in a long time, he’s just. Being. He feels an odd shiver go down his spine. His mind is weirdly blank. His fingers itch to chop or dice something. Filet. Stir a pot.
There was chaos and confusion when Luffy’s swordsman was attacked and is now fighting for his life but the ship is eerily soundless now.
Luffy was convinced by Usopp to get some rest. With everything going on everyone forgot about Sanji and that he was still on their ship, cleaning up after the numerous dishes he whipped up to keep his hands busy. To keep them all fed. To keep them distracted. To help them forget about their problems.
He has a problem.
He grabs his right hand with his left in an attempt to stop the sudden shaking that threatens to overtake him. The rocking of the ship seems to escalate. His head spins. He needs a cigarette. He needs air.
He passes a room and hears a faint whimper from inside. He forces himself to stop and turn. The swordsman, Zoro, and what an odd name that is, is lying on a suspended bed from the ceiling, his eyes squeezed shut, his head turning from side to side, sweat rolling down his forehead to his cheeks, his face looking red.
Sanji doesn’t care. Not really. He doesn’t know him or owe him anything. But something is ingrained in him from so long ago. Chiseled to his core. A ring of a tree. To help the weak and suffering because he’s known those two things far too well.
Keep telling yourself that.
He swallows hard and forces his eyes to look away.
Zoro releases another faint whimper. He sounds like a kicked dog and somehow it’s worse.
He follows his feet into the musty-smelling echoey room that smells like sweat and fish, hands shoved deep in his pockets.
The swordsman isn’t looking great. Maybe it’s a nightmare or an infection but he looks pained. Sanji should wake Luffy or get one of the others but he knows the importance of rest and he doesn’t think the swordsman is in any immediate danger. He recalls Zeff’s advice to talk to Zoro because he’s between two worlds and he nearly rolls his eyes. Luffy finds this man important though, and Nami too so maybe it’s not all lip service or a fool’s errand.
Sanji does the thing he hasn’t allowed himself to do since he first saw Zoro at Baratie: observe.
He takes in his cheekbones, the gentle slope of his nose, and his full lips. The awful green hair. Poor wardrobe choices. His natural smell. It all suits him. The only thing missing are those eyes.
Sanji nearly rears back just thinking of them and how intense they are when fully focused on you. Two dark floating orbs. Endless pools. Like you could easily get lost in them. Sanji shivers.
“Hey,” he hears himself say. He shakes his head a moment later. He’s being ridiculous. He should wake Luffy up. Maybe he needs a bandage change.
He’s about to leave when the whimpering and harsh breathing stop. Sanji turns. His eyes snap to the swordsman. His cheeks don’t look as flushed. His breathing looks deep and even. His eyelids aren’t fluttering. Sanji resists the urge to mommy check him with the back of his hand. He stands there like a child and stares at the man instead like he’s never seen a human being before. It must have been a bad dream or sudden discomfort then. His hand in his pocket trembles.
“Sleep well. They’re worried about you.”
Sanji doesn’t expect a response but Zoro’s face turning in his direction with his eyes still closed like he’s looking for him somehow makes Sanji pause. Sanji furrows his brows and approaches again.
“Can you–can you hear me?” He feels like a fool saying it out loud but he swears Zoro perks up from hearing it. Sanji suddenly breaks out into a cold sweat.
“Well, this is insane.” Sanji has to voice out loud the complete obvious.
The swordsman looks content and untroubled resting peacefully.
“Ok. I’m going to leave now,” Sanji inches out of the room like his footsteps could wake the sleeping swordsman up, his mind in a daze. If he sees something like a smile creep across the swordsman’s face then well, it must be Sanji’s eyes playing tricks on him in his half-exhausted state. When he looks back, Zoro’s face is smooth and impassive.
Sanji hurries out of the room without another backward glance.
Zoro still has not woken up and spirits seem to be low.
Sanji doesn’t know his place amongst these people but he knows food and how it always helps.
Luffy in particular seems to be the most melancholy out of everyone. He’s usually so animated and loud. His gestures and statements are pronounced but now. Now his eyes are downcast and his movements are sluggish like he’s moving underwater. Somehow Usopp and Nami convinced the captain to take a break from standing sentry in Zoro’s room.
“What’s your favorite meal? I’ll make it for you.” Sanji flashes Luffy his most dazzling smile, the one that lady patrons of Baratie always seem to like but Luffy isn’t paying him any mind. He’s sitting at the breakfast nook in the galley, head resting on his fist, eyes glazed over.
“Zoro’s favorite foods,” Sanji mouths along with Luffy’s morose statement. He knew it was coming but there are only so many times he can whip up rice balls. The food disappointingly hasn’t seemed to help at all. Luffy seems to know this too but is clinging to it like a lifeline. Who is Sanji to judge? He grabs the rice and seaweed as if he’s on autopilot anyway.
Luffy isn’t talking and Sanji isn’t doing well with silence lately so he makes small talk as he cooks. Luffy grunts out affirmatives here and there.
He’s not sure why he says it, his mind isn’t something he knows and trusts as well these days and he kind of blurts it out as he forms the rice balls into triangles.
“He seemed a bit better when I saw him.”
A blur of movement. Sanji blinks and then Luffy is standing in his personal space.
“What?” Luffy blurts out, eyes wide and beseeching.
Sanji pauses on the rice ball he was forming. He didn’t know the younger man could move that fast.
“He seemed to be sleeping calmly?” Sanji tries gingerly.
Luffy stares up at him. “Did you talk to him?”
Sanji doesn’t know Luffy very well but detects the hint of hope in his words.
“Yes?”
Luffy taking his arm and leading him is not what he expected at all. Sanji considers himself a man with good instincts and reactions but Luffy is completely throwing him and he’s dumbfounded.
He protests but Luffy is surprisingly strong as he practically drags Sanji the short distance to Zoro’s room. Sanji’s heart is pounding and his throat is dry.
Nami and Usopp look up in sync from their seated positions on either side of their friend’s bed, their eyes questioning.
And Zoro looks…the same? Still sleeping but his forehead is sweaty. His breathing is more labored. Sanji frowns.
Luffy releases Sanji and gestures wildly to Zoro. “Well! Say something to him!”
Everyone is watching Sanji now and normally he would love being the center of attention, especially Nami looking up at him with her beautiful blue eyes but this is different and all wrong. What happened earlier was a complete fluke. He was not supposed to open his big mouth and say anything. Who is he to poke his nose into someone else’s business? He doesn’t know these people. He heard the whimpering and was concerned is all.
“This is all a big misunderstanding,” Sanji looks between the three like he’s been caught doing something nefarious.
Sanji’s eyes can’t help but land on Zoro. The swordsman’s eyes are still closed but his face seems to turn in Sanji’s direction, his breathing more even. Nami tracks Sanji’s line of sight and looks at Zoro. She checks and fusses over the swordsman. Her eyebrows are furrowed like she’s trying to figure something out.
“He seems better? More comfortable?” She eyes Sanji.
Then the three of them are watching Sanji again until they all spit out rapid-fire questions at him that he’s not equipped to answer.
“I don’t know. He was making some noise. I checked in on him and said about four sentences. He seemed better and I left. That’s it.”
Zoro’s complexion doesn’t look as waxy and fragile. They all keep looking at their friend and then to Sanji and back again.
“Clearly he likes hearing your voice. I think you can take this shift,” Usopp stands looking pleased with himself. Then Nami and Luffy agree and lead Sanji to a chair next to the bed.
Sanji protests. “This is insane? I don’t know him?” But Zoro reacts and seems to search for Sanji as the words leave his mouth. They all catch it.
“Zeff said to talk to him because he’s caught between life and death. Maybe something is working? Would you mind staying with him for at least a little while?” Nami bats her eyelashes and damnit, Sanji is never going to say no to a woman who needs help and that lays it on thick however much of a ploy it is.
They all look so damn buoyant as they look at Zoro and back out of the room like this is their last hope to save their friend.
“Thank you!” Luffy says a little too loudly like he’s coming back to himself.
“I’m a cook and you guys will need food.” Even as it leaves Sanji’s mouth he knows it's a weak attempt to get out of it.
“We have like thirty rice balls left!” Usopp snorts, waving Sanji off. “That’s enough for a few hours.”
“A few hours?” Sanji asks, trying to ignore how Zoro’s head is turned towards him and also why that many rice balls wouldn’t keep them fed for at least two days. “Why do I have to be alone with him?”
Nami and Luffy shrug in unison. It makes Sanji’s stomach turn and his hand quakes in his pocket.
“We’ll be here if you need us. Just talk to him!” Nami sing-songs and finger waves at him before she slips out of the room. Then he’s alone with the swordsman.
“What the fuck just happened?” Sanji’s sharp question and tone are offset by how Zoro is sort of smiling at him, his eyes still closed, his expression tranquil. He’s as still as stone. A slab of marble with green hair and a goofy expression. It’s like he’s not even unconscious but playing a massive trick on them.
“What are you so happy about?” Sanji crosses his leg and glares at the swordsman while fiddling with the lighter in his pocket. “Does almost dying feel that good? It didn’t when it almost happened to me. Maybe I need to try it again,” he glowers. “It would get me out of this.”
Zoro continues to quasi-grin at him. It’s unsettling. It doesn’t seem like the man’s true nature at all frankly. They’ve only known each other for about a day before he almost got himself killed but Sanji already has a pretty good handle on the swordsman.
Sanji recalls when he waited on Luffy’s table at Baratie. He initially zeroed in on and only had eyes for Nami because, well, of course, he did. She has delicate features and hands. She was wearing a cute outfit and he liked her glare.
Once he got out of his tunnel vision and his view of the world expanded he finally saw the others. Two boys with extremely over-the-top hats that wanted to eat the whole menu and another sitting on the opposite end of the booth with multiple swords wearing a put-out expression. He definitely gave “fuck off” and bored vibes but what really struck Sanji were his eyes. Dark infinite pools. Sanji felt transfixed for a moment before he somehow shook it off. Maybe it’s because the boy, a young man really, looked away completely uninterested, only demanding booze.
Sanji hasn’t felt the same way since those eyes landed on him. Finally admitting it makes him feel jittery and out of control.
Sanji’s hands start trembling so he takes them out of his pockets. He twists them together on his lap in an attempt to make them stop.
“This is your fault I think.” It’s easier blaming someone that can’t speak back but by saying it out loud it eases some of the tension that he can finally admit has been growing for a while. The past two days to be exact. Something feels looser between his shoulder blades. He rolls his head around and something cracks. A soul realignment.
Zoro’s complexion has a healthier quality to it.
Sanji swears under his breath. He normally wouldn’t and his new acquaintances probably wouldn’t approve but he lights up a cigarette anyway. They all but commanded him to stay in the room alone with him. They can deal and he needs something to settle his nerves. He makes sure to keep the smoke away from Zoro’s face, not that it will help a lot but it eases some of his apparent guilt.
He smokes and talks to Zoro feeling like a crazy person and weirdly Zoro seems to listen. In any other world, in any other life this man would never hold a captive audience to Sanji. He wouldn’t even look at him twice. In fact, he probably would stay far away from him. None of it makes any sense and Sanji knows he needs to talk to Zeff immediately if not sooner.
Luffy comes to relieve Sanji after a couple of hours. He wrinkles his nose at the cigarette smell lingering in the room.
“I know. It’s a horrible habit. Never start,” he squeezes Luffy’s shoulder as he passes him. “He seems to be doing well. He’ll wake up soon.” In actuality, Sanji has no idea but he feels validated by the huge unabashed grin on Luffy’s face and the way he nods his head in determination. Maybe a white lie in this case is ok.
Because he has a penchant for pain and feels he always has, Sanji spares one last look at the unconscious man on the bed whom he’s barely spoken two words to yet somehow he feels weirdly drawn to. Zoro doesn’t look as tranquil as before. The bags under his eyes are more pronounced.
“Hang in there. Literally,” Sanji whispers the joke, maybe to Zoro or maybe to no one.
He makes a beeline back to Baratie and Zeff. Despite their recent problems he needs to talk to him.
The dinner rush is nearly ending but it’s still chaotic in the dining area and the kitchen. After a brief search, he finds Zeff inside his tiny makeshift office sitting on a small chair at his desk, more like a catch-all for anything that isn’t kitchen related, adding up checks. Sanji doesn’t knock. They’re way past pleasantries and ceremony after all these years.
Zeff does a double-take. “Who walked over your future grave, eggplant? You look like utter shite.”
“Something is wrong with me.”
Zeff barks out a sarcastic laugh, going back to rifling through the thick stack of checks. “And it took you twenty years to finally figure that out?”
Sanji knows his eyes look crazed as he crams himself in one corner of the room directly in front of Zeff. He hasn’t buttoned up his suit jacket correctly. The buttons are off. He glares at his mentor.
“I mean, something is wrong with my brain. My hands shake and the swordsman…” Sanji has no idea how to explain it. Will Zeff even care? It’s not like they’ve left things in a good place after their blowout.
Zeff smirks and grunts, not looking up from his work. “You don’t say.”
“The one you placed sashimi on? The one that nearly died? He acts differently when I’m in the room with him and when I talk he…follows my voice and seems better?”
Zeff abruptly stops counting his checks. His attention fully snaps to Sanji enough to make Sanji nearly bump his head back on the wall. In a bigger space he would have stumbled backward.
Zeff arches a bushy brow at him. “He did what now?”
Sanji feels he’s making up a story as he explains what happened to Zeff. He leaves out the stuff about Zoro’s eyes and his unnatural gravitation towards him because he doesn’t want to be sent away to some looney bin. At least not until he can see the All Blue.
Zeff listens without interruption and strokes his long mustache braids.
“Well, it sounds like you need to visit him again. Hearing people’s voices can help bring them back from the brink like I said and he seems to react to yours.”
Sanji pulls a face. “I don’t know him at all.”
Zeff shrugs.
“You’ve never heard of this before? This doesn’t sound strange to you?”
Zeff observes him and Sanji doesn’t like it so he lights up a cigarette instead of looking at the chef.
“I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe in my travels. In all honesty, not really. Not in the grand scheme of things. It’s just random synapses firing in his brain. Neurons or something. Your voice sounds like his brother or a friend and so he reacts to it.”
Sanji takes a long drag from his cigarette and nods, somehow knowing deep down that it’s not because his voice reminds Zoro of someone. Sanji has always had good instincts and trusts them implicitly. Something is telling him that this is different.
“And what if it’s not?”
Zeff’s expression turns more serious. “What are you getting at? Spit it out already. I don’t have all night and I need to get back.”
Sanji flicks ash down to the floor which makes Zeff snarl.
“I don’t know him,” Sanji repeats. “Why me?”
Zeff chuckles bitterly and pinches his tired eyes. “Why anyone, eggplant? I think you’re looking into this too deeply. We’re all just people floating on one big rock together,” he eyes his protege but must see something on Sanji’s face that has him switching tactics. “You mentioned your hands are shaking?”
Sanji regrets mentioning it, not wanting Zeff to think he can’t handle cooking. He tries to buy time by taking a drag off his cigarette.
“Yeah, sometimes. Started happening two days ago. I can handle it.”
Zeff nods. “And you think it’s related?”
Sanji winces and Zeff nods again. They know each other too well and Zeff is reading what Sanji is telegraphing on his face. Zeff turns in his chair and rifles through a drawer crammed with overflowing papers. If this is an organizational system of some kind Sanji has no idea how he finds anything. It takes a minute but Zeff finds what he’s looking for. He swivels in his chair towards Sanji and extends a piece of yellowing paper to him.
Sanji balances the cigarette in his mouth and gingerly takes the paper.
“You can use our Den Den Mushi to call but I would do it soon. It’s been on the fritz.”
Sanji blinks at his mentor, feeling the cigarette wobble precariously from its perch in his lips.
But Zeff has turned in the chair and is back to sorting through checks.
Sanji is getting an odd feeling in his chest. A balloon inflating. His diaphragm is expanding. His heart is beating fast. Sanji reads the paper:
Ava Holding
Doctor. Metaphysical advisor. Spiritual guide. Astrologist.
“You want me to call a psychic!? What the fuck is this?”
Zeff shakes his head, focus still on the paperwork. “She’s a doctor too. A pretty good one. She’s helped me before,” he slaps his fake leg. “Helps with the phantom pain. Affordable rates.”
Sanji’s eyes bulge, barely registering that he’s dropped both the paper and his cigarette.
“Clean that shit up and call her or don’t I really don’t care. Now scram, eggplant! You’re banned from the kitchen, remember?”
Sanji is definitely not going to call but he keeps the paper anyway because Zeff kept hollering at him to pick it up and he couldn’t be bothered to throw it away. He tucked it into his suit jacket pocket that he finally fixed the buttons on.
How is someone a “doctor” and also an “astrologist” and “spiritual guide”? Don’t those things cancel each other out? How the fuck does that make any sense?
Maybe Zeff has a sicker sense of humor than Sanji realized and wanted him to laugh and be distracted from his problems? Maybe he was trying to get back at him? Well, one of the things inadvertently worked.
Things got messy with Arlong and his fishmen showing up and causing problems at Baratie. He was touched when Luffy and Usopp wanted to help. He definitely got distracted saving Luffy’s life from drowning and also feeling weirdly sad that Nami decided to leave with Arlong. Luffy’s crew really has a lot of baggage for being so new.
He tried to help Zeff clean up after the brawl in Baratie but that went horribly. All they do is get on each other’s nerves and fight.
He doesn’t understand Zeff at all. Sanji’s a “shitty” cook but he should go and pursue his dreams? All Blue is a pipe dream? Why even show concern by giving him a joke phone number for some doctor to call? Or help the swordsman? Why all the mixed messages? He hasn’t given Sanji a clear answer except he isn’t needed at Baratie anymore. It’s a tough pill to swallow.
It all churns heavy in his mind and gut. He doesn’t get much sleep at all. Almost all of his life has been spent with the shitty chef but Zeff doesn’t want him around.
Two thoughts keep Sanji up at night: He’s leaving tomorrow to start the next chapter of his life. He needs to see the All Blue if it’s the last thing he does.
His leaving has nothing to do with endless obsidian eyes.
He’s in control.
“Sometimes when I try to look ahead, all I see is back.”
But he sees something now: a way out.
He acts completely nonchalant and casual when he steps aboard the Going Merry announcing his position on the ship as their cook. Informing Luffy and not asking but liking Luffy’s whoop of delight. He also acts indifferent to seeing Zoro on the deck of the ship. Awake. Alive. Color in his cheeks. Sanji barely spares him a second glance. When did he wake up?
Zeff standing on the deck of Baratie looking up at the Going Merry as it departs like he’s waiting for him is a surprise. Maybe Zeff does care?
Sanji tries to not see the emotion in Zeff’s eyes but it’s impossible. His tears match his own. Zeff did care. He’s going to miss him.
What am I doing?
Is it a mistake to leave everything and everyone he’s ever known behind? He doesn’t know Luffy but he believes in his spirit and wild passion.
“Sometimes when I try to look ahead, all I see is back.”
He finally sees forward now and Luffy is his answer. No more hiding.
Dark encapsulating eyes try to worm their way into his mind but Sanji futility pushes them away.
He keeps it together long enough to retreat inside and avoid everyone’s gazes.
Inside him it’s a lightning storm. Chaotic. Wild. His mind is flashing images too fast. His heart is thundering. His hands shake violently. He still has tears in his eyes. He keeps seeing Zeff’s form getting smaller on the deck. He can’t sit still. He’s nervous. He’s excited. A little voice in his head is whispering saying: This is the right path forward. They’ll finally appreciate you as a cook and they’ll help achieve your dreams but you’re forgetting something. One thing.
No, he argues with himself. He hasn’t. He convinces himself of this and his hands only stop shaking when he sets up his knives in the galley.
A clown head on a table isn’t the best companion in the world especially when it asks persistent questions. He tries to ignore him. Fishing. That’s what he’ll do to quiet his mind.
The journey to Cocoyasi Village isn’t going to be terribly long and he tries his best to avoid Zoro at all costs as he casts his line. It isn’t hard to avoid him. Like he predicted, the swordsman keeps to himself and doesn’t seek anyone out.
“Fuck off” eyes but eyes that draw you in all the same. A conundrum. Sanji shivers as he leans against the hull on the deck of the ship. Even after being trapped for 85 days on the island with Zeff with no hope of rescue he still likes looking at the ocean, his only companion during that time. Like keeping his enemy close. He enjoys the bright sunshine and his cigarette. He isn’t catching any fish yet but he enjoys the salt breeze on his face anyway.
He enjoys talking to Luffy too but when talk turns to Nami because of course it does, it’s the hot topic, Zoro has to butt in on their conversation.
The accusations and insults roll easily off both of their tongues. Like they’re riling each other up but also sizing each other up. Sanji is pleased to know he’s taller. This is the first exchange they’ve had outside of Sanji taking their order at Baratie. It’s strange. It’s thrilling. They don’t know each other and they’re arguing about someone that Sanji also doesn’t know. Him butting in again and not knowing his place. He can practically feel his pupils dilate and he’s also kind of grinning. How curious.
The bandage across Zoro’s chest soaked with blood is a huge red beacon of a conversation starter yet Sanji doesn’t mention it. It’s like Zoro is keeping his shirt open for multiple reasons. Waving a flag. It’s maddening. Something prickles up Sanji’s spine when he takes in the moss head. It’s the weirdest feeling and it’s not something he can decipher.
Usopp calls out that land is ahead.
The relief Sanji feels almost makes him feel embarrassed.
The way Nami acts as if she doesn’t want to be a part of the crew and wanting them to leave is how Zeff was. Her actions and words don’t match and Sanji doesn’t believe her at all even when Usopp and Zoro do. She’s in trouble. She’s in danger. Tattoo or not.
It all solidifies when they meet Nami’s sister Nojiko.
Hearing the tragic story of their upbringing and their mother’s death pulls at everyone’s heartstrings, Luffy especially. Sanji is surprised when Luffy excuses himself after hearing the story. He’s even more shocked when Zoro follows after him. Odd emotions rise up in Sanji like he’s fighting himself. They threaten to take over. Is he touched? Confused? Ultimately he feels…jealous. He nearly smirks at the odd reaction but his hand shaking quickly wipes away whatever mirth he felt. This isn't funny at all. The trembling in his hands has only gotten worse. He can’t be a reliable cook if this keeps up. He glances at Usopp and Nojiko but neither has noticed.
He feels for his lighter, something to keep his hand busy when his fingers brush a piece of paper inside his jacket. The clown head, Buggy, is unnervingly watching him.
“What’s with the shaking? Fell on your head as a baby?” Luckily, the others haven’t heard and Sanji doesn’t dignify the clown with a response.
It’s hard to push it all down but he does what he does best: Ignore what’s wrong, slap a smile on his face, and offer to make food and clean up. It’s easier to put on a show and pretend.
He doesn’t sleep again. He doesn’t look at Zoro. His hands continue to shake.
Maybe it’s the surging adrenaline thrumming throughout his body as they collectively storm Arlong’s compound in the morning’s early rays but Sanji feels a little better. The smiles he flashes are for the most part genuine and fighting evil fish people is kind of thrilling. It’s something to tell his future grandkids about one day.
Seeing Zoro at work in all his glory albeit wounded is riveting but he probably won’t ever tell the moss head that. The way he works his sword and moves his whole body like he’s aware of all his limbs all the time even while injured is enthralling. He’s only using one sword though and Sanji noticed he was carrying three when he first met him. What happened to the other two? Rapid-fire questions keep cropping up in his mind as he kicks one fishman after the next.
Zoro clutching his chest makes Sanji’s heart constrict painfully in his chest. Zoro mistakes his concern for criticism. Then it’s back to their back-and-forth banter and insults. A hot-button issue seems to be Luffy and Sanji accuses Zoro of screwing around. The swordsman is quick to retort that Sanji doesn’t know what Luffy needs.
A flare of sudden jealousy licks through Sanji. He thinks of how Luffy and Zoro excused themselves last night. His thoughts don’t seem like his own these days.
Sanji files it all away for further inspection later, emotions flooding and threatening to take over him again but it’s easier this time somehow. Probably from the excess adrenaline from the battle flowing through his veins.
They somehow both don’t notice that they’re systematically and quickly taking down all the baddies together one by one like they’re in some sort of competition. Daring and pushing each other to their limits. Sanji’s whole being feels odd when Zoro’s full gaze is on him. Like he’s light and weighs nothing at all. Buggy makes a lewd comment that snaps him out of it.
Sanji’s lost to a haze of battle. When the one that looks like a stingray insults Nami it’s goodnight for the fishy. No one insults a lady and one that he’s friends with. Well, sort of.
Arlong’s long reign of terror finally comes to an end. His pagoda crumbling down is a sight to see. Sanji’s so relieved to see Nami alive and well and wearing the chore boy’s hat no less that he outstretches his eager arms to her but. Nope. That’s a no-go on a hug. He tries to hide his disappointment. They barely know each other. Of course, she wouldn’t go to him and instead goes to her friends. It still stings. He also was responsible for her rescue and taking down the enemies. Sanji: forgotten about once again.
He sets his feelings aside. Where is Luffy?
The building collapses in a deafening crunch.
They wait on bated breath until they see Luffy’s arm miraculously shoot out of the rubble. His statement that Nami is their friend makes them all laugh with sheer and utter relief. And wait, is that everyone? Sanji sees Zoro smile from the corner of his eye and woah. His insides jump and flip like he’s on a ship in a storm or on some carnival ride. He’s weightless. Their eyes meet for a moment. They aren’t sniping at each other. They aren’t even speaking. Something feels very large and charged in the air. They’re just gazing at one another. Usopp whoops and hollers, accidentally knocking into Zoro who looks away from Sanji, breaking the moment.
They get swept up in the celebrations with the Cocoyasi Village citizens. Sanji is asked if he can honor them by preparing a meal. Of course, he immediately agrees without thinking. He will never turn down cooking for someone in need.
Thankfully his hands don’t shake when he cuts and slices ingredients with ease. His mind zeroes in and focuses on the task at hand. Everything else melts away. He creates a beautiful shellfish paella. It sets a fire inside him. He feels marginally better.
The sun is gone but the multiple fires going in the village make the scenery more wholesome and cozy. The fire dancing and playing off of everything it’s romantic. Sanji sighs. He’s always been this huge dreamer and romantic at heart. Along with it a flirt. Maybe it was all the time spent alone thinking of recipes and wanting someone to share them with. Just to talk about cooking with someone and share his passion. This would be an excellent night to relax on the beach and share a meal with someone who cared for him. Feeding each other bites. Sipping wine. Sitting close and watching the stars and waves. He can’t think of anything better.
He’s pulled out of his daydream when a line forms for his paella. The villagers asked if they could help serve his food but Sanji declined. He wanted to see people’s faces as they smelled it. Took it in. When he was on the line in the kitchen at Baratie it was something he missed: seeing people’s reactions. Witnessing their first bites.
He tries subtly flirting with Nojiko but it doesn’t go well. He’s still riding the high of their victory and his smiles are easy and effortless regardless of being brushed off.
When Zoro approaches the front of the line wanting seconds well. Sanji is tickled and doesn’t hide it. Their banter is lighter this time. Maybe it’s the rich smells in the air. All the fires going. The laughter. The infectious and collective good mood. Zoro passive-aggressively dances around that he likes Sanji’s cooking but that he needs his strength because he saved Sanji from the fishmen. Then Sanji counters that he actually saved Zoro. Then things get a bit weird and unpredictable. Sanji can’t stop smiling even when Zoro mentions that Sanji doesn’t use his hands when fighting. Sanji makes the huge mistake of mentioning that Zoro needs three swords to fight.
Huge faux pas. Too soon.
Except.
Zoro kind of blankly stares at Sanji for a couple of beats before raising an eyebrow and leaving. He almost seemed, dare Sanji think, amused.
Huh.
Isn’t this where Zoro punches him? Extracts his revenge? But Zoro is gone.
That almost seemed like progress. Like they can trade jabs and be cordial about it. Friendly.
The fun and games and merriment are short-lived after Usopp tells his tall tales because the Marines show up.
Sanji finds himself next to Zoro who unsheathes his sword. Sanji feels a weird thrill go through him. He hasn’t met these Marines but he notices the odd tension and look Luffy gets when he locks eyes with a young Marine with glasses.
Sanji remembers Zoro saying he doesn’t know what Luffy needs. The young cadet only has eyes for Luffy. Sanji knows the look because he’s felt it too many times before. When the cadet disobeys the vice admiral by not taking in Luffy it solidifies for Sanji that something is going on with his captain and a Marine of all people. Forbidden love. Maybe this night is romantic?
This night is throwing him for a complete loop for many reasons.
Did Sanji hear Luffy say: “Grandpa”? Wait, what?
The fight between the vice admiral and Luffy commences but the Marines retreat soon after. It has to do with something about Luffy’s relationship with the vice admiral.
When Luffy corrects his grandpa by saying: “I have my friends” and Garp leaves, the party re-commences.
Some of the villagers are wary but Usopp and Luffy convince them the Marines won’t return.
When Zoro snatches a bottle of rum and heads off down towards the beach, Sanji feels this pull in his chest like his body is compelled to follow. Nami and Nojiko are deep in conversation. They need to catch up. Luffy and Usopp are talking to some of the villagers. Everyone is distracted. Sanji the outsider once again.
Sanji follows his feet down to the beach, his heart racing. He feels sweat on the back of his neck and his lower back. He’s never done anything as reckless as this except, well, join Luffy’s crew on a whim without even being formally invited. He guesses that’s the most impulsive thing next to this.
The moon is big and full. There are a million stars out and reflect off the smooth inky surface of the water. It reminds him of Zoro’s eyes.
“Hey.” Sanji’s startled out of his thoughts by a familiar voice. Zoro is sitting in the sand, hand wrapped around the neck of the rum bottle, head craned towards him. “Your footsteps are really loud. Not sure if you were trying to be subtle or not?”
Sanji’s frozen in place. He didn’t even think of a reason why he would be on the same beach at the exact same time as him. He used to be good at this. Impressing people. Being the front of the house when needed. Putting on a show. Dazzling guests.
His mind is blank. He scrambles for a moment before smiling. It feels fake.
“No, I wasn’t. It’s a beautiful night. Thought I’d get some air.”
“And follow me?” Zoro’s tone isn’t accusatory, not exactly but it makes Sanji wince anyway. And there’s that eyebrow raised again from the swordsman. He looks unimpressed. Sanji still can’t move. His hands are buried deep in his pockets and he shrugs helplessly.
“Do you ever tell the truth or are you like Usopp?” This is the longest they’ve ever talked to each other and it’s all wrong. Not that Sanji knows how it’s supposed to be right.
Sanji closes his eyes for a beat, craning his face upwards before opening them again and shaking his head. He exhales long and slow.
“Let’s start over. Hi, I’m Sanji. I was your waiter once at a shitty restaurant and now I’m the shitty cook for your crew. I felt bad about what I said about your swords and thought I’d ask if you’re ok.” At least it sounds genuine even though his voice is thin and is breaking. He tries for a genuine smile but it feels weak. He’s weirdly nervous.
Zoro is still watching him from over his shoulder. His profile is bathed in moonlight. It makes his cheekbones look even more pronounced. Sanji swallows hard.
It feels like an eternity before Zoro sighs softly and rolls his eyes.
“Hi. I’m Zoro and the first mate. I–I really don’t know what else to say but I wasn’t put out by the comment. We were kind of–” Zoro seems to search for the word and Sanji is finally able to use his legs again. He takes slow tentative steps towards Zoro, like approaching a tiger out in the wild.
“Taking the piss? Bantering?”
Zoro nods. “Yeah.”
Sanji doesn’t know the protocol here at all. They’re kind of just looking at each other. Zoro isn’t telling him to leave or yelling so Sanji takes it as a good sign.
Zoro holds up the rum bottle to Sanji.
“Temporary truce?”
Sanji blinks. The smile on his face feels huge.
“Sure. I don’t know what the fuck that means though.”
When Zoro smiles it’s enough to make the whole world shake and tilt on its axis.
“Me either.”
Sanji sits gingerly next to Zoro leaving ample space between them because he again has no idea how to proceed and is flying by the seat of his pants.
Zoro uncorks the bottle with his teeth and Sanji swallows hard watching him. He forces his eyes to look away. Staring isn’t polite. And they’re friends or comrades or enemies on a temporary truce. Some precarious thing started. His mind reels when he tries to name it. But Zoro looks so much younger, his age when he isn’t scowling or glaring. His posture is open and he holds himself casually. Bathed in moonlight he looks so different. Alive. Approachable. Vulnerable. Not a sword-fighting machine that wants to murder the world.
Zoro tilts his head back taking a huge pull from the bottle. Sanji can’t not look at how his full lips wrap around the rim of the bottle and how his Adam’s apple works. It should be illegal.
Sanji isn’t through being thrown for a loop tonight it seems. After Zoro wipes his mouth with the back of his hand he practically shoves the large bottle at Sanji who keeps looking at it like he’s never seen rum before.
“You don’t drink?” A casual question from Zoro.
“I don’t normally share them intimately with someone I barely know.” The words are right at the tip of Sanji’s tongue but he doesn’t let them escape. He takes the bottle and takes a generous pull from it to keep the words inside. He can’t decide if he likes that he feels Zoro’s eyes on him. Watching him. It’s unnerving but thrilling.
Touching the bottle where Zoro’s lips just were is so intimate that it has Sanji’s face heating up.
The drink is strong and it burns as it travels down his throat to his stomach.
“Shit,” Sanji exclaims, his eyes watering as he passes the bottle back to Zoro. It has more of a kick than he normally likes. He likes to sip on his drinks and feel the buzz creep up on him. The rum is a kick to the gut.
Zoro chuckles. A deep reverberation in his chest.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure this was from Arlong’s personal stash.”
“We definitely need to drink it then.”
Zoro looks at Sanji then. They do their weird gazing thing. It’s like he can hear the cogs turning in Zoro’s head like he’s assessing him. Seeing Sanji for the first time. Because maybe he is.
“That’s what I was thinking too.” Zoro hasn’t looked away.
It suddenly occurs to Sanji that this is the most romantic thing he’s done in a very long time. Maybe ever in his whole life. Sharing a bottle on a deserted moonlit beach after a huge victory. The thought is looming and the idea is swirling around in his head like the rum is inside him. He’s losing it but this is also nice. Sitting next to someone and talking like they’re two normal people. Being seen and not forgotten about. That captive audience he didn’t think he’d ever get.
“What’s funny?” Zoro takes another pull from the bottle. Sanji guesses he wasn’t hiding his amused face as well as he thought. He shakes his head and draws his knees up to his chest.
“I thought maybe I was intruding. Didn’t think you wanted company.” He’s also completely lost control of his mouth apparently.
Zoro huffs out a sarcastic little laugh and shakes his head slightly. He looks…uneasy? It gets Sanji’s heart pumping faster. He didn’t think Zoro ever got uncomfortable. He’s always so calm and collected or wants to be alone. Zoro takes another drink, a smaller one this time. He thinks of how he took a drag from his cigarette when he was talking to Zeff to buy himself time. It feels a lot like that.
“I actually wanted to thank you,” Zoro looks at Sanji. “Luffy said you helped bring me back.”
Sanji waits for more but Zoro doesn’t offer anything else. He’s fiddling with the label of the bottle and pointedly looking everywhere other than Sanji’s face.
Sanji is completely struck speechless again. Zoro looks the definition of apprehensive like admitting it took a lot. The silence stretches. Zoro looks at Sanji again. It’s bad because Zoro’s eyes are huge and dark and beautiful like the night sky and like the glittering ocean. Sanji gets even more lost. He can’t breathe.
“Are you having a stroke?” General concern in the swordsman’s tone.
“No,” Sanji blurts out, which makes Zoro blink and jerk back.
“I–was just. Am confused because I didn’t really do anything, man. I talked to you for a little bit. I helped Zeff put on the sashimi. That’s about it.” Sanji’s sweating now. It’s pooling on his lower back. Zoro, thankfully, passes the bottle back to Sanji who drinks from it greedily and as if it will help him at all.
“But why would you do that for me? We don’t know each other and I thought…” Zoro trails off. The unspoken “you hated me” hangs in the air.
This is all leading and funneling to very dangerous territory that Sanji isn’t sure he can come back from. Like walking into a minefield. Once they head down this path things will be set in motion and cannot be undone. He’s dizzy and his head feels completely disconnected from his body. Time both speeds up and slows down. He gets tunnel vision and Zoro fills up his whole world. Zoro is also closer to him now or maybe he always was.
Zoro is looking at him again. Looking for something but Sanji is adrift on the night sky. The endless onyx ocean.
The only thing tethering him to this mortal plane is gripping a bottle of rum in his hand and then Zoro is closer, in his personal space, and tugging the bottle loose from Sanji’s weak grip. Their fingers brush and Sanji doesn’t hide the weird inhale of air he takes. He swears he sees Zoro’s cheeks heat up in the moonlight.
They’re looking at each other again. Close. Too close. Sanji opens his mouth maybe to just make noise or to say or do something–
“Oi! We’re going to set off fireworks!” Luffy’s sudden booming voice from far away and behind them.
They both jerk back. Sanji is immediately annoyed for reasons he cannot begin to parse out or understand.
Zoro recovers first and dusts sand off himself as he stands.
“I better go. He’s going to blow himself up for sure.”
Sanji nods faintly as he watches Zoro saunter off.
He doesn’t move for what feels like a long time. Needing to process what happened but he’s having a hard time coming to terms with it but he knows two things for sure.
There is something more than a temporary truce going on between them.
His hands are no longer shaking.