Work Text:
Jeongin doesn’t know how it started.
Well, that’s kind of a lie.
He doesn’t know where it originated but remembers how a lot of people were suddenly sick and how contagious it was and still is. He can’t say if it’s more controlled now, but it’s not as much of a danger to be outside. Curious, he does a quick search on Naver. He clicks an article with an interesting title and skims through.
When people got sick, their symptoms were along the lines of losing weight, change of appetite, and usually coughing. The rest of the symptoms are a bit diverse: one person can lose a couple of their senses while another person loses color in their eyes. It’s hard to tell physically if you’re sick (minus the coughing), but getting tested always has the same results regardless of how different the experience is. In extreme cases, people’s limbs fell off from decay or their skin rotted off, exposing their flesh.
Thankfully the sickness wasn’t extremely deadly. Yeah, a lot of people died when they got infected (mostly the elderly and small children), yet some people adapted to the illness. It became part of them. There’s currently no cure. The countries around the world have created an area within their major cities where the ill now reside to avoid further infection.
Jeongin scratches his head, realizing the article said nothing about its origin. He clicks through a few articles but there’s not even a hint of how it began. However, his mind slowly reels back to the first article about how Seoul used to have two parts: Old Seoul and New Seoul. Old Seoul is mostly unreachable unless you’re issued an Undead Subject (UDS) card. He figures the government sent them out after fewer people were dying.
Sometimes, Jeongin wonders what it’s like in the...other part of Seoul. He’s never really seen anyone leave from there, or enter for that matter. Reading about its intent is one thing, but never seeing it actually being used is another. It’s mostly safe to assume that everyone lives as is now, coexisting. Usually, Jeongin tries not to think about how the world is and how much it developed while simultaneously bringing itself down.
Especially now, since he’s moving into a new apartment for university and he’s a few blocks away from an abandoned entrance to the gated off area which makes his slight anxiety of the unknown increase. As he nears his building, he notices the neon lights that decorate most of the city begin to look duller. From what he read while looking up the area, his building is one of the few that is still somewhat put together and functioning compared to the other listings he saw. Those buildings were on their last straw, held together with Elmer’s Glue and prayers.
His research is confirmed soon when he arrives at his new home. Changbin laughed at his selection of housing, but it’s not like he had much of a choice with his current financial situation as an unemployed student. There’s not much for him to carry up, barely owning items now since he sold most of his belongings in order to afford his rent at this shack of an apartment building.
Based off the emails he exchanged with his new roommate, he lives on the third floor, but he could be wrong. Seungmin stays by the car to make sure no one tries to hotwire it as Changbin and Jeongin grab as many boxes as possible. When they enter the building, there’s dirt and leaves on the concrete floor. Jeongin grimaces as he notices trash and hears faint squeaking. He hopes it’s the pipes and not rodents.
“Fuck,” Changbin mutters, adjusting his hold on the boxes in his arms. “Elevators broken.”
Jeongin curses under his breath then says, “Apartment is on the third floor I think.” Not wasting any time, he makes his way across the messy lobby and up the stairs.
“Can’t you check your emails?” Changbin shouts after him, not too far behind.
“I could, or we can start walking up these stairs.” Jeongin is already on the first level of apartments, so two more to go.
When they reach the third floor, Jeongin carefully sets down the box he has and digs his phone out of his pocket. Thankfully, he is on the third floor. He lets out a sigh of relief and looks for the keycode to get inside.
The door unlocks with ease and Jeongin opens it wide before pushing in his box with his feet. The apartment is… kind of furnished. He assumes his roommate must’ve just moved in too since there’s plastic folding chairs where a couch should be.
“Whoa, your roommate has a PS5!” Changbin gasps, dropping the box on one of the plastic chairs. “Do you know how old that game system is?!”
“No, but admire later. Let’s grab the last few things.” There’s only one box left and a few random other items, like a lamp and a coffee maker. A few things he didn’t have to sell or that didn’t sell.
Changbin mumbles something before walking out the door and down the stairs. Jeongin sees it as a moment to sit down on the second plastic chair. He knows he should be on his way down with Changbin and bringing up his stuff, but he feels so exhausted. He slept well the night before, had breakfast, and even drank coffee today… Yet his body yearns for a moment to rest. Checking the time, he figures he’ll only sit for a minute or two.
“Are you--”
Jeongin jumps in the chair, nearly falling off, and looks up to find a guy in the doorway.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I was trying to ask if you’re Jeongin?” The unknown man asks. Jeongin tries not to stare but he notices he has black hair and is dressed in a grey hoodie and jeans. The man seems to be lean and undeniably gorgeous. Jeongin was already a little thirsty from exerting himself, but this guy is drying out his mouth at a quicker pace.
“I am.” Jeongin swallows, trying to get his saliva to do its job. He can see that he has a red t-shirt on under his sweatshirt. “Who are you?”
“I’m Hyunjin, your roommate. I was the one emailing you.” Hyunjin walks in, heading to the other side of the apartment that Jeongin hasn’t explored yet. “Are you done moving in?” Hyunjin shouts into the living room from wherever he is.
Rising from the chair, Jeongin shouts back, “Uh, not yet! Stopped to take a breather! I’ll be back.”
Jeongin runs out and leaves the door open, trusting Hyunjin is okay with that, and jogs down the stairs. He doesn’t pass Changbin on the way, so he starts to wonder where he is.
When he reaches the car, he doesn’t find either Changbin or Seungmin. The car is still on and the trunk is open, so they couldn’t have gone far.
“Jeongin!”
Jeongin whips around and finds the duo near the closed entrance for Old Seoul. They’re by the corner of the gate and Seungmin has his flashlight on while Changbin waves him over. Jeongin jogs to where they’re standing and notices Seungmin has a large stick that he’s using to hold open a portion of the gate. A gust of wind passes, refreshing Jeongin and blowing some leaves into the open gate. Seungmin and Changbin shiver a little.
Changbin’s face is covered in awe as he whispers, “Someone’s been coming in and out of here.”
Seungmin drops the stick, letting the flappy end of the gate close. Turning off the flashlight, he rubs his other hand clean on his jeans, and says, “They might be smuggling stuff. These gates are kind of shitty, too. It’s like they wanted this to happen.”
Jeongin glances around, thinking back to the new military-staffed entrance that’s near his university. This one is a wire fence and weak. Anyone can hop over or crawl under. It explains how easily Seungmin was able to hold open that one portion of the gate. The other one closer to campus is thick slabs of metal welded together and set into the ground. Barbed wire encases the top of it. It was made with the intent to not be messed with.
“Who are they?” Changbin questions, eyes still wide. The three of them start walking back to Seungmin’s car.
“Smuggler wise… Anyone is possible. Who wanted this to happen? The government or your new neighbors. Or both.”
Jeongin ignores the idea of this being a conspiracy to keep his nerves at bay and grabs the last box while Changbin and Seungmin grab the lamp, coffee maker, and other stray items in the car. Before Jeongin can step away from the car, Seungmin stops him with a hand on his shoulder.
“I know how anxious you get… If you need somewhere else to stay if things get weird, you’re welcome to stay at my family’s place.”
Jeongin, ever so grateful, thanks Seungmin. He hopes he can remember that in the future. Seungmin pulls his hand away from Jeongin to grab what he can. Jeongin’s attempts at keeping a memory is like trying to hold a fistful of water. His hand is still wet, might even be pruney, but the liquid is gone.
When they reach Jeongin’s apartment, Hyunjin is still in the kitchen but now he’s making a sandwich. Sweatshirt is gone. Seungmin waves after putting down Jeongin’s stuff, Changbin gawks kind of, so Jeongin introduces them after trying to catch his breath from the stairs. He tries not to notice how well red looks on Hyunjin.
“Hyunjin, Changbin and Seungmin. Changbin and Seungmin, Hyunjin,” Jeongin gasps then grabs his water bottle that Seungmin put down and chugs from it. Maybe he should start working out again. The reason it’s fallen from his schedule is because he forgot to write it in.
Hyunjin nods in acknowledgment to them, then asks, “Do you need help bringing up all your boxes?”
“Nah. This…” Jeongin gestures to the three boxes and random items, “is it. Nothing else.”
Confusion is written on Hyunjin's face. “No bed? No… furniture? At all?”
“Eh, I sold my old one. I was more worried about finding a place to live.” Jeongin can’t read Hyunjin's face but he hopes he’s not judging him for his extremely tight budget. “It’s also easier to move when you have less stuff.”
“Then,” Hyunjin starts. Jeongin can hear the gears shifting in his brain. “Where are you going to sleep?”
Jeongin pops open the top of one of the boxes and pulls out a rolled-up sleeping bag. “In this--” Jeongin glances at Hyunjin's now perplexed face. “--For tonight. Don’t worry; I bought a mattress.”
“How long ago did you order it?”
“A while ago. I chose the delivery date to be today with high hopes but the shippers are running late.”
“If Changbin and I didn’t bug you about it nonstop, you would’ve forgotten to buy the mattress.”
“Haha, yeah…” Jeongin lightly chuckles. He feels a little guilty about his faulty memory, even if Seungmin and Changbin said it wasn’t a big deal (many times, each one being when Jeongin apologized for it).
There’s a moment where no one says a thing, the sound of the air conditioner doing its best to cool off the apartment while the front door is open.
“Well!” Seungmin claps. “We still need to drive back and it’s getting pretty late. We’ll bring food by tomorrow to celebrate, okay?”
Jeongin nods, not really recalling the conversation of having food. Or celebrating anything. “‘Kay, see you then.”
Changbin exits first, Seungmin following and politely closing the heavy door. Hyunjin continues making his sandwich in silence. Jeongin sits on the plastic folding chair, trying to catch his breath.
Maybe selling his mattress was the worst idea Jeongin has had in a while. A sleeping bag on hardwood floorboards is the most uncomfortable thing he has had to experience, and he’s had an ingrown toenail removal.
Even though his back aches and he can’t lay on his sides or stomach without his bones feeling uncomfortable, he refuses to get up. He knows his mattress is arriving sometime that day, but he doesn’t know the exact time. His phone displays that it’s 11AM. He could lay here for a few more hours, convince himself that he is comfortable and not in pain.
Jeongin falls into a rest, still awake but not quite. At least, that’s what he thought. The apartment chimes, alerting him that someone is ringing his doorbell from the lobby. Rubbing his eyes, Jeongin checks the time. 2PM. So much for the delivery guys coming on time the day of his move.
Jeongin’s mind blurs. He was in his bedroom one moment and in the lobby in the next moment and the delivery guys… Abandoned the mattress in the cramped lobby.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
How the hell is he supposed to carry this upstairs? He could’ve sworn he selected that they move it into his apartment. He quickly shuffles to the door, opening it to look outside to see no truck outside. The delivery guys might as well thrown a full cup of coffee at the door as a fuck-you.
“This is such bullshit,” Jeongin mumbles, head hanging low as he digs in his pocket to find his phone. Maybe Changbin and Seungmin can come by sooner and help him get this upstairs. Just as he’s about to slide his phone out, he smells the faintest scent of copper.
“What’s bullshit?”
Jeongin’s head snaps up to see a stranger. He has platinum blond hair and looks… a bit scrawnier than Jeongin.
“These delivery guys dropped off my mattress even though they were supposed to carry it to my apartment.”
“Oh, yeah. No one likes being over here for long. Maybe my roommate and I can help. I’ll be back.”
The unnamed person (neighbor?) disappears around the corner, feet pitter-pattering up the stairs. Jeongin’s fingers are wrapped around his phone, still wondering if he should text his friends. Then he hears more feet pitter-pattering down the stairs.
After a lot of swearing, grunting, and being yelled at from other neighbors, Jeongin and his newly acquainted building-mates (Jisung and Felix) finally deposit his mattress onto the floor. They’re all breathing heavily so Jeongin faintly waves them into the kitchen and prepares them each a glass of water. Nothing is said as they each chug the refreshment. Jeongin could feel sweat running down his back, and he could still smell the copper. Maybe they have copper pipes?
Jisung is the first to break the silence with, “Fuck those guys for ditching the mattress down there.”
“Amen,” Felix agrees.
Jeongin’s a little surprised by how mouthy Jisung is. And how much Felix swears. He just sums it up to looks can be deceiving.
Jisung fiddles with the fridge’s gadgets, listening to it sing and every other little thing Jeongin wasn’t even aware it could do (why does his fridge know Jisung’s temperature from only his fingerprint?). Jisung steps away from the kitchen, giving himself a small tour before whipping around to face Jeongin. “Are you dating Hyunjin?”
Jeongin chokes on his water. “Huh? I barely met him yesterday… He’s my roommate.”
“Oh.” Jisung looks around the kitchen again. “That would make more sense.”
“Make more sense about what?” Jeongin suddenly feels very insecure. Is he insinuating that Hyunjin wouldn’t date him? Wait, why would that matter? Jeongin doesn’t want to date Hyunjin. Or does he?
Jisung’s eyes flitter to Felix, who’s standing behind Jeongin. He turns and Felix is using his hand to cut his throat. Cut it out.
“I mean,” Jisung starts against Felix’s instructions, “Given his job and your… Situation.”
Jeongin’s heart is beating so hard it’s about to break his ribs while his hands feel clammier, making it a little hard to hold his glass of water. His throat feels tight about whatever assumptions they’re making so he says, “I have no idea what you’re trying to tell me. Unless you’re saying Hyunjin kills gay people for a living.” Jeongin looks at both their facial expressions, trying to decipher what’s happening.
Felix makes a face that reads I told you so and Why didn’t you just listen to me? Jisung is plain oh shit.
“Well…” Jisung tries again.
“He doesn’t kill people.” Felix cuts him off. “Or anything for that matter. But I do think it’s important that you ask him what he does for work. He’s also not homophobic if that is now a concern. Thanks to Ji.”
Jisung mumbles a sorry, head hanging like a sad puppy.
“We will get going though. We have dinner plans that are on the other side of town.” Felix grabs Jisung’s cup and places both glasses in the sink before he grabs Jisung’s bicep. His fingers sink in deep as Jisung repeatedly says, “Ow, ow, ow, ow.”
Felix drags him towards the door, shouting a farewell before it slams behind them. Jeongin’s still not quite sure what just happened. Other than that, he knows Hyunjin isn’t homophobic and is single. It’s not crucial information, but it does make Jeongin a little giddy. He doesn’t want to explore that right now.
That doesn’t stop his brain from filling up with every interaction between them from the day before.
By the time Seungmin and Changbin arrive, Jeongin has his room… organized to the best of his ability. An empty box sits by the end of his bed, main purpose is to hold his dirty clothes. Another turned into a mostly functioning nightstand. He has to avoid putting items heavier than twelve, maybe thirteen, books on it. His clothes are hanging in his closet. His extra boxes are stacked on top of each other in the closet. And his coffee machine is wedged between Hyunjin’s blender and his own fancy coffee machine. The essentials, Jeongin supposes.
Changbin is carrying three pizza boxes with their desired toppings and a bag of spicy garlic chicken (that Seungmin won’t be having because he has a sensitive tummy) while Seungmin is carrying soda and a…plant?
“What’s this for?” Jeongin asks with pizza in his mouth as he inspects the plant. They’re standing in the kitchen, surrounding the island that’s working as their table. Jeongin’s on his second slice, even if it makes his stomach turn and it tastes unappetizing.
“Housewarming gift.” Seungmin smiles, actual sunshine radiating off of him. “But don’t worry, it’s fake. I didn’t want you to feel burdened by the task of taking care of it or to feel guilty if it died. It’s a monstera.”
Jeongin nods, swallowing his flavorless pizza. Changbin ordered supreme for him. He could not taste a single veggie or piece of meat. “It’s beautiful. Thank you. I’ll put it next to my nightstand.”
“You mean your box?”
“Yes, my box.”
“When are you going to get real furniture?”
“I literally just got here. Are you going to buy the furniture for my bedroom?” When Jeongin says you, he points the crust of his pizza in an accusatory manner.
“No, but I think y--”
“How’s job hunting going?” Changbin interrupts in maybe the worst way. It may have been a distraction, but it’s going from one difficult topic to the another.
Jeongin can’t help the groan that he lets out. “Same as before. I apply and just wait to here back about anything at all.”
Changbin nods, not really caring for the answer, just wanted Seungmin to get off Jeongin’s back. “Is your…” He glances around Jeongin, trying to peer into the empty living room. “Roommate home?”
“I don’t believe so. Why?”
“No reason.”
“Changbin thinks he’s cute.” Seungmin explains, biting into his hawaiian pizza. “Wouldn’t shut up about him.”
Changbin doesn’t bother responding as he whacks Seungmin with his hand. Seungmin doesn’t make a sound as his jaw drops in momentary pain and clutches his bicep where Changbin hit him.
Jeongin’s chest twists as his heart begins to pick up in speed. He doesn’t have to wonder what he’s feeling--he just can’t understand why. His mood soured from learning about Changbin finding Hyunjin cute. That’s his roommate. He technically knew him first. Oh, god. He’s getting really worked up over this. Jeongin’s hands shake as he reaches for his glass of soda and chugs. It doesn’t do anything to his tastebuds, feels like carbonated water.
“So you have a crush on Hyunjin.” Jeongin states, unintentionally placing his empty glass aggressively on the counter top. Hopefully neither of them noticed that.
“I just… think he’s cute.” Changbin definitely noticed.
“He wants his number.” Seungmin reveals, no longer rubbing his arm or in pain it seems. Jeongin doesn’t think he noticed.
“Maybe--if you’re cool with it.” Changbin puts his hands up in defense. Don’t kill me just yet.
“Cool with what?” Hyunjin asks, dirty bowl and empty glass in hand as he strides into the kitchen. The three of them stare at Hyunjin, wondering how much he heard. Seungmin elbows Changbin.
“Ow--uh, with us being here…? You know, since…We’re a little loud and we don’t want Jeongin getting kicked out on his second day.” Changbin lies on the spot. Seungmin rolls his eyes; Jeongin’s stomach is knotting itself, getting rolled out by a bulldozer, and attempting to stitch itself back together. Hyunjin stares at them for a moment, then at their pizza boxes. Changbin finished his and is making his way through the spicy garlic chicken, Seungmin has one slice left, and Jeongin has more than three-fourths of the box left. Seungmin and Changbin have learned to stop commenting on his loss of appetite.
“Noise isn’t a problem for me unless I’m asleep.” Hyunjin responds before filling up his water and returning to his bedroom.
“You’re a fucking pussy, you know that?” Seungmin whispers after they hear the click of Hyunjin’s bedroom door.
“Yes, I do actually. You are what you eat.” Changbin replies, not even bothering to whisper.
“Shut the hell up.” Seungmin pushes Changbin, making him stumble a bit and laugh. “Sorry that Changbin wants to fuck your roommate.” Seungmin whispers again.
“It’s fine--” Jeongin starts. Changbin’s face breaks into a grand smile. “I think. I don’t know--” He frowns a little. “Actually, don’t follow through with it if you’re thinking about it. Don’t ruin this living space for me.” Full frown.
Changbin mumbles, “Okay.” His head hangs as he chews on his chicken leg, acting like he got reprimanded for doing something he wasn’t supposed to. Seungmin rolls his eyes once again, biting into his last slice. Jeongin concludes he’ll save the rest of his pizza and offer it to Hyunjin.
The door closes hard after Changbin and Seungmin leave. Seungmin doesn’t have a heavy hand, the door itself is heavy. Jeongin’s still in the kitchen, breaking down the boxes with Hyunjin on his mind. The trash is mostly full, motivating Jeongin to change the trash. How thin are the walls? Hyunjin must’ve heard a good chunk of the conversation. Jeongin places his pizza box in the fridge. He seen some ziplock bags in the cabinet, but they’re Hyunjin’s. He’s not going to use them without asking.
Jeongin’s moving the plastic monstera around his room, trying to figure out where it looks best. It’s hard for it to compliment his room when it’s mostly cardboard and a small pile of books. Maybe if he stacks the books in this way it will look more artsy, more tasteful. He tries it, but the books fall over. Hm. Maybe if he stacks them instead it'll work.
There’s a knock at his door. Jeongin mumbles some sort of acknowledgment, focused on redecorating his corner. He turns to face the door when he hears it creak open.
“Hey.” Hyunjin peeks his head in, now wearing glasses. “Wanted to let you know you can use my tupperware for your leftovers. I don’t want the pizza box blocking off storage in the fridge.”
“Oh. Okay, cool. Are you sure?” Jeongin has guilt in his gut from earlier, from his friends. He’s a little surprised Hyunjin is acting like things are fine. Maybe he's trying to make up for the fake assumption Changbin made about him by being a rude roommate.
“Yeah. What’s mine is yours.” Hyunjin smiles.
Jeongin does too, infected by Hyunjin’s generosity. Hyunjin is about to exit when Jeongin says, “Wait!”
Hyunjin’s eyebrows rise, the door opening more and visibly waiting. Jeongin almost loses momentum.
“I’m sorry… for earlier. My friends.”
Hyunjin nods, his smile returning to his face. “It’s fine, Changbin’s not my type anyway.” Then he shrugs and leaves, the door clicking shut after his departure.
Tension that Jeongin didn't know he had in his shoulders eases away, letting him slouch and resume his redecorating. Then like being struck by lightning, the thought of Hyunjin's type haunts him. He tries to shake the persistent thought away; it doesn’t matter. Changbin doesn’t stand a chance.
Jeongin’s memory used to be… A lot better than it is right now. School has gotten tougher only because he forgets assignments and due dates. Along with which lecture hall is where and professors names… But it’s not a big deal! People forget small things like that all the time. He assumes it’s from being stressed about school and trying to find a job. So to help him do better in school, he writes down everything that seems like it would be important (which is everything) in his planner. If only he could stop forgetting where he put his planner…
He’s already checked his room three or more times (he lost count after making a mess to then clean his room again). It’s possible it’s somewhere else in the apartment, so exiting his room, Jeongin makes his way into the living room.
Hyunjin told him before that there are a few random things in a bin that’s free for all. AKA things Hyunjin bought or found and probably won’t use. Jeongin walks past the couch… They have a couch now… When did that happen exactly..? Know what, it doesn’t matter. Neither does the news that’s playing right now, saying something about new symptoms and memory loss. Jeongin tunes it out as he locates the bin and rummages through it. No planner, but there are a fuck-ton of pens, highlighters, post-it notes. Post-its will make do for now.
Jeongin is about to return to his room to reorganize his schedule when he pauses to watch the newscaster. She’s still listing off new symptoms which seem similar to a cold. Hyunjin is nowhere near the TV. Jeongin is pretty sure he left actually, so he switches off the TV, because the electricity bill was a little scary last time. He rather Hyunjin be upset with him than fainting at the sight of the bill.
With post-it notes in hand, Jeongin returns to his room. His laptop open (screen went dark from being left unattended), old notebook that halfway filled with notes from a year ago and notes from a couple months ago, and his phone that’s blowing up with texts from Changbin.
Binnie: It’s been months since I seen Hyunjin. Is he still beautiful as ever?
Jeongin groans, hiding his phone under his covers. He thought Changbin was over this. And that Seungmin would’ve bullied him enough to shut up, but this is Changbin and Seungmin--Jeongin knew it wouldn’t miraculously happen.
Jeongin had even told Changbin about Hyunjin’s disinterest, but he supposes Changbin missed the “dis-” part. Whatever, whatever, whatever. This schedule won’t organize itself.
What was Jeongin thinking when he decided to move out on his own, have a job, and go to school without laying some ground rules for himself? He feels stretched thin--a rubberband about to snap--by looking at his bank account and what he has to pay off by the end of the semester. When he first started off, he had a job and felt mildly secure. Until he realized he can’t afford his rent anymore if he also wants groceries.
Jeongin can’t ask his parents for help--they completely shunned him when he argued that he wanted to live on his own, that he’s an adult. Seungmin used to reassure him, telling him that they’ll regret it and open the doors for him once he’s done with school. But Seungmin didn’t hear what they said to Jeongin. He also doesn’t know about the times Jeongin looked up his parents’ landline in the phonebook and a completely different family was on the other end of the line. He tried the address that he had scrawled in the back of his phonecase for safe keeping. The Yang nameplate was gone. They uprooted and disappeared. Now the Jung’s live in Jeongin’s childhood home, sitting in his bedroom, painting over the walls that Jeongin and his brothers decorated with crayons when they were younger. Did the Yangs even exist?
There’s a knock at Jeongin’s bedroom door, bringing him back to his current four wall enclosure. It has yet to feel like a home; it’s missing something. Then he realizes his cheeks are damp, wiping the wetness away as he mumbles, “Come in.”
“Hey, I tried texting you b-- are you okay?” Hyunjin had peeked only his head in, but now the door is wide.
“Yes. No. Probably not.” Jeongin hiccups, god he hates when he does that. He sniffles.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Hyunjin hovers, not wanting to pry but also wanting to make sure Jeongin won’t sob when the door closes.
“Maybe, not really. Family stuff.”
Hyunjin nods, sitting on the edge of the bed and waits for any sign of objection from Jeongin. Truthfully, Jeongin almost shoos him out. Changbin pining over Hyunjin has Jeongin’s chest turning in twists. It’s not fair to push Hyunjin away because of Changbin’s crush, and maybe Jeongin’s own feelings towards Hyunjin that he is still attempting to understanding.
Jeongin sighs and sniffles again, nose clogged. “My parents didn’t like that I wanted to be independent. They cut me off and disappeared off the face of the earth. I’m drowning in responsibilities and I’m overwhelmed.” He takes a deep breath, staring hard at the ceiling. “I think that mainly sums it up.”
Suddenly, a chill washes down his spine. Jeongin visibly shivers and when he looks back at Hyunjin, Hyunjin is already staring at him.
“Are you cold?”
Jeongin nods. Hyunjin excuses himself, leaving Jeongin alone again. When Hyunjin returns, a grey hoodie--probably the exact one that Hyunjin was wearing when they met--is drapped over his forearm. He situates himself in the exact spot he was at before he left. Hyunjin places the sweater between them.
Some part of Jeongin wants to refuse it; some part of Jeongin wants to rub his face in it, inhaling the scent as much as he can, only smelling Hyunjin.
Mildly alarmed by his own thoughts, Jeongin settles on wearing the hoodie. It warms him a little; Jeongin can’t tell if it’s because he’s wearing more clothing or if it’s because it belongs to Hyunjin. Probably both.
“I’m sorry your family abandoned you. A family should never do that, especially if they claim to love their son.”
Jeongin feels his throat constrict before he reminds himself to breathe and clear his throat. “I appreciate you and everything you have done for me, but I think I’d rather accept that they never loved me so it’s easier to process this.”
Hyunjin’s mouth closes, hands clasped. It’s quiet, awkwardly so. Maybe Jeongin shouldn’t have said that.
“I’m sorry--I -- It’s hard to accept sympathy in regards to this…situation.” Jeongin explains, silence hanging between them. It’s difficult communicating what his home life was like. He can’t even hold a firm image of it in his head. There are misty faces and foggy voices, from a man and a woman--his parents, he assumes--and they are incredibly angry. At him, his brothers, each other--who knows? Jeongin can’t even tell if he misses them or just having a place to call home.
Seungmin’s words of reassurance were from a different time. When all the wounds were fresh and bleeding still. Now they’re bruised scars that Jeongin’s attempting to ignore, but that’s hard to do when he lives in an apartment with sharp corners.
“I also have some… familial issues.” Hyunjin breaks the silence. Jeongin glances up from picking at his fingers to see that Hyunjin was also watching his fingers. Jeongin immediately stops. Possibly embarrassed, Hyunjin’s attention redirects as he adjusts himself on the bed. “My parents are divorced; my dad wants me to be exactly like him, even though it was my mom that raised me. He expects me to have this hard interior and exterior when… I don’t. Probably never will.”
Jeongin nods, sniffling. Stupid fucking snot. He almost wipes his nose on the hoodie sleeve, but stops since this isn’t his.
“I can’t relate to you and can’t offer words that will repair the damage left by your family, but I can be here for you.”
Jeongin nods again, throat constricting once more. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.” Jeongin wipes his face with the hoodie sleeves, avoiding rubbing his nose. “Now, what did you originally come in here for?”
“Oh!” Hyunjin shouts, complete mood shift as he brightens Jeongin’s space. “I brought home some food from work. There were tacos trucks and I figured you hadn’t eaten yet.”
Jeongin holds back the groan he wants to release at the idea of food, but says, “What kind of tacos?”
“I got steak and chicken. Wasn’t sure which you would like best. I could cut them and we can have them in halves?”
“That works.”
Hyunjin smiles, rising from the bed and departing the room. Not a second passes but his head peeks in from the hall, doorframe cutting him off at the neck. “Well? Get up and come to the kitchen.”
Jeongin scoffs, following Hyunjin out his room. Classes, Changbin, and family all left behind in the bundles of his sheets.
It is 4 AM. The heating is on, but Jeongin is freezing.
A few minutes ago he woke up with a shiver running all the way through his body. The comforter he was using to cover himself wasn’t helping. And now, as he stares at the thermostat pad, it shines the time and that it is 29C. Why is he so fucking cold when the apartment is so fucking warm?
Maybe he’s getting sick, he thinks as he walks back to the bathroom. Jeongin goes to key in the code to the medicine cabinet but is shocked when he’s met with his own reflection. Hyunjin must’ve gotten the new tech reflective surface installed the other day. Jeongin continues to eye his face. He knows he’s thin naturally, but he looks more gaunt than usual. He’s paler, cheekbones are sticking out just a little. Yeah, he really is sick. His eyes even have a weird tint to them, but he ignores it since it’s early and he’s probably imagining it. Some eye drops can easily fix that.
Whatever. Not his main concern right now. Keying in the code for the cabinet, it slides open and the items go in rotation on a belt. Some of the new gadgets Hyunjin is getting installed feel so out of place in their apartment. What does he do in order to afford all this?
Jeongin finds the cold medicine and takes the recommended amount. Hopefully it’s just a cold. He’s already falling behind in classes, he can’t flunk. He decides to take the medicine back to his room with him for when he has to take more. On the way back, he passes Hyunjin’s room. The door is open, the neon lights of night life pouring into Hyunjin’s room and filling it with red and blue hues. Purple pools on Hyunjin’s bare back, black hair pulled back into a loose pony.
Jeongin stares, enraptured by the beauty of it all. He watches as Hyunjin’s back rises and falls with each inhale and exhale. Something draws Jeongin toward Hyunjin’s sleeping figure. Jeongin doesn’t realize what he’s doing until his fingers brush Hyunjin’s shoulder, his roommate stirring under his touch.
Immediately retreating to the hall, Jeongin’s hands shake as he quietly hides in his room. What’s gotten into him lately?
Oddly enough, Jeongin realizes he’s not cold for once this early morning, late evening. The shame of being in Hyunjin’s room is balancing out his temp. Lifting his three blankets and sheet, Jeongin crawls into bed and hopes that the medicine takes care of the rest of his cold.
Jeongin is sitting on the couch in the living room and eating a bowl of corn flakes when Hyunjin wakes up. The cereal is bland yet crunchy to him as he listens to the television playing a cartoon he hasn’t seen before and to Hyunjin's footsteps leading into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” Jeongin mumbles, fiddling with his cereal.
“Morning.” Hyunjin's voice travels over with the bird song. “I heard you get up last night.”
Jeongin involuntarily audibly gulps, corn flakes going down rough. He coughs, throat a bit sore. Hyunjin’s slippers slap against the floor as he leaves the kitchen and joins him on the couch.
“You okay?” Hyunjin’s knee brushes his. Both of them sitting with their legs crossed. After Hyunjin gets comfortable, their knees stay touching. Jeongin fights the urge to move away with the shame of last night tickling the back of his mind.
“Yeah, wrong pipe.” Jeongin scoops up more flavorless cereal and chews until it’s mush.
“I don’t know about you, but it was too hot. I’m thinking about changing the temp in here. Is that okay?” Hyunjin asks before shoveling cereal into into his mouth. Corn flakes. Jeongin can’t remember if it was his box or Hyunjin’s. Doesn’t really matter since Hyunjin constantly reminds him what’s mine is yours.
“I’m cool with it. I think I’m catching a cold or something. I was freezing last night and the heat did nothing for me.”
Hyunjin hums. He reaches toward the coffee table and types in a channel number. The news is back on. It’s rerun of what played roughly around when Jeongin initially woke up. It’s reporting on the recent ID updates (which Jeongin has to do), random crimes that have occurred, the new park being built, and reminding civilians that fall under Undead qualifications to apply for UDS cards or update the ones they already have. Jeongin can’t really understand why Hyunjin would rather watch this than morning cartoons. Which somehow reminds him…
“Hyunjin, what exactly do you do for work?”
Hyunjin remains silent until Jeongin turns his head toward him. Hyunjin’s eyes dart from Jeongin’s hands to the TV.
“It’s… hard to explain. My dad got me the job.” Hyunjin finally responds, a spoonful of flakes going into his mouth.
“Oh, you work for your dad? Is it a family business?” Jeongin asks while he discreetly looks down at his hands that are currently holding his bowl. There’s nothing strange going on. No marks. They are a bit boney, but that’s normal. Oh shit, Jeongin thinks, this cereal might’ve been off limits. Or the bowl was. One of the two. Or worse, he knows what he did last night… Nothing too crazy. But still strange behavior for your roommate to be doing at odd hours of the night.
Hyunjin winces. “Not really. Again, it’s hard to explain.” The sounds of the TV and of Hyunjin’s spoon in his almost empty bowl fill the space between them. “What do you do for work?”
Hyunjin’s question makes Jeongin’s head hurt and back ache from the realization of his current situation. “I’m in between jobs at the moment. Though, I did put in applications and I’m waiting to hear back from a few. I was able to save up a little before moving, so I’m living off that right now.”
Hyunjin nods then places his bowl on their coffee table. He turns down the volume of the TV to the point where it’s barely audible. “I think I want to quit my job.”
“What for?” Jeongin isn’t nosey by nature, but any chance he gets to learn more about Hyunjin, he’ll take it.
“I don’t think I’m cut out for it. A lot of my coworkers are colder than me. It’s hard trying to connect with them. Let alone understand them.” Hyunjin relaxes further into the couch, arm stretching out behind Jeongin. If Jeongin were to lean back, his head would fall into Hyunjin’s forearm. He could bend his wrist, fingers would slide right into Jeongin’s hair. Would Hyunjin cradle his skull? Play with his hair? Or pull away?
“Is connecting with them important for the job? Or just you?” Jeongin also places his bowl on the table since it didn’t really have flavor to begin with. He should really see a doctor, or go to urgent care at the very least. He hasn’t been able to taste anything for a while now.
Bowl no longer his concern, Jeongin gets more comfortable on the couch. He turns his body toward Hyunjin, his knee overlapping Hyunjin’s. He thinks he should scooch back then he remembers the armrest is behind him and that Hyunjin intentionally sat this close to him.
“I think both. And I was never really connected to either. My dad set it up for me and insisted that it’s something I needed to do.”
“But you disagree with that?”
Hyunjin nods. “Heavily.”
“Then I support your decision on quitting.”
Hyunjin’s head falls a little and loose bangs that aren’t secured dance as he chuckles. “I need a new job with exact or better pay if you want me to keep feeding you.”
Jeongin takes a moment to process what Hyunjin said. He really wants to reach out and touch his hair. He is so certain Hyunjin uses a high end brand so that his hair is glossy always and silky smooth. Then Hyunjin’s words settle in completely.
“Feeding me? Wait. That’s not-- Hold on. I can pay for my own food. I am paying for my own food. Mostly.”
“I know you can and do. Don’t take this the wrong way. What’s mine is yours.” Hyunjin reminds Jeongin, squeezing his knee. His hand lingers a little too long, thumb rubbing his skin. Then he gets up like nothing happened. Taking both bowls from the coffee table to the kitchen.
Jeongin’s head hurts more. Instead of being freezing, a heat spreads through him. Starting at his knee.
Riiiing. Riiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiiing.
Jeongin’s phone is ringing and buzzing under his back, spine receiving a minimassage. Though, his phone is also digging further into his ribs. His room’s brightness was already bothering him now this--he yanks his phone out from behind him--person or telemarketer needs his dire attention. He presses the green button.
“Hello! Is this Yang Jeongin?”
“This is he.” Jeongin rubs his eyes then immediately pinching his brow bone because the sun shining into his room is giving him a headache. He blinks his eyes open to…realize he is not in his room but the living room. When did he get here? Why did he fall asleep here when he has a literal bed? “To whom am I speaking with?”
“This is Minho from Corner of Curiosities. I looked over your application yesterday and was seeing if you’re still interested in working with us.”
Jeongin sits up straight. “Y-Yes,” he pauses to pull his phone away from his face to cough then brings it back. “I’m still interested! When am I able to interview?”
“Our store manager is in today and tomorrow from eleven AM to four PM.”
Jeongin glances down at himself. He’s in week old pajamas. He might’ve showered last night or three weeks ago, he can’t tell. He pulls his phone away again to see that it’s barely ten AM. So it’d take him an hour or so to get ready and about forty-five minutes to get to where Corner of Curiosities is. He’d arrive there somewhere around twelve or one.
“I can come in today. Around one o’clock? One fifteen?”
“One fifteen works. We look forward to meeting you, Yang Jeongin.”
Jeongin’s head feels like it weighs a ton, resting his head against the shower wall. The water is opening his pores and sinuses from sitting on the highest setting. He thinks about how the second he’s out the shower, the heat will be gone. He needs to finish washing his hair. And face. And body. All he got done so far was brushing his teeth and that happened before he got under the scorching hot water.
With force and a little internal coaxing, Jeongin lathers his skin with his bodywash. There’s not much, so he has to ration until his next paycheck which will probably be in three weeks from now. After scrubbing his filth away, he moves onto his hair and face. He does them at the same time in order to speedrun his shower a little.
When he steps out the shower is when he sees that Hyunjin left him a little post-it note that might’ve been there for weeks. However, the humidity from the shower made the note fall from its place on the wall and it now rests on the floor. A small puddle tries to ruin it, but Jeongin snatches it up.
Please don’t use all the hot water ;; I need some to wash dishes and shower - Hyunjin
Well, Jeongin hopes he didn’t use all the hot water.
Jeongin impulsively applied to Corner of Curiosities without really knowing what they do or sell. From their reviews and online photos, it’s a bookstore without books for the most part. One of the newer bookstores. They don’t sell many hardcovers or paperbacks, focused on a panel longer yet thinner than his phone. Based off the photos, the actual text projects itself from little beams on the side of the panel. Jeongin wasn’t really aware there were people that like these sorts of things. Call him old fashioned, but he likes a pre-loved book; all hardcovers and paperbacks are welcome.
Jeongin wasn’t sure what to envision upon meeting Minho. His brain refused to conjure up an image of someone, a blob coming to mind. Minho in person was pretty welcoming, but mainly reserved. They didn’t speak for long as Minho called over the hiring manager.
Jeongin caught the name--Chan--but after that, he noticed a flock of birds hanging from the ceiling from fishing wire. It seems so out of place in a store focused on tech items. He believes they’re corvids, specifically magpies and ravens. If Jeongin remembers correctly, corvids are pretty knowledgable. Specifically magpies. Chan’s mouth is moving, but Jeongin can’t hear a thing as he stares at the birds. It almost looks like the magpie is flapping it’s wings, yet Jeongin knows that the bird is completely still.
“How does that sound, Jeongin? Sixteen per hour?”
“Y-Yeah, that sounds great actually.” Jeongin swallows, throat dry as his neck tenses. He zoned out in the middle of Chan talking and didn’t even catch a majority of the interview. Was Chan asking him questions? Did he even respond to them? Looking down, Jeongin has a filled out questionnaire along with his ID and other documents sitting on the table. When did he take those out his pocket?
“Okay! Looks like you’re set to start later this week. We’re just going to need you to download this app…”
Chan’s voice fades out again as Jeongin looks to where the magpie is flying to. Its destination is a painting of sunrise, shining with gold flakes so that it glows when physical light catches it. Some part of Jeongin wants to find something similar for Hyunjin.
“And your schedule is set! See you soon!” Chan rises from his chair, heading somewhere behind a pillar and the counter, probably to the back office.
Jeongin directs the last of his attention span to his phone to see his schedule. Onboarding then a set four day week. He’s part-time. Gathering his things into his pockets, Jeongin zips up his coat and bears the outside cold that is still somehow worse than his internal temperature. His phone dings and vibrates in his hand, a text from Hyunjin pops up.
Hyunjin hyung: I brought home some wings and kimbap and there’s enough for you
Jeonginnie: Thank you for feeding me hyung but you didn’t have to. Sorry if I used all the hot water btw
Jeongin has guilt swishing around in him. He hasn’t really been eating. Though, he does eat whatever Hyunjin offers him. It’s wrong to refuse free food in Jeongin’s situation. Hell, it feels wrong to refuse food from Hyunjin in general. He can’t recall the last time his stomach growled.
Hyunjin hyung: Nonsense. You need to eat. And what do you mean about the hot water
Hyunjin hyung: Also where are you? I’m surprised you’re not rotting in bed
Jeongin’s brain swishes as he waits at his bus stop reading the texts.
Jeonginnie: The post it note? About the hot water? That was in the bathroom?
Jeonginnie: And I just finished a job interview. Now I’LL be able to buy myself food
Jeonginnie: And you too if you get hungry
Hyunjin hyung: OH!! That note is from two weeks ago lol
Hyunjin hyung: But I liked buying you food :(
Hyunjin hyung: Tho I do like the idea of you buying me food… we can take turns. How does that sound?
Jeonginnie: Sounds good to me
Hyunjin: Okay see you soon <3
Jeongin doesn’t know how to respond to the heart emoticon. He’s used to Changbin and Seungmin sending them, but that’s different. He knows what it means to receive it from them, his friends. Receiving it from Hyunjin feels like… flirting. Is this flirting? Is that what's happening right now?
Jeongin shakes his head. Doesn’t matter. There’s kimbap at home he has to worry about. Then he sees a boba place across the street from his bus stop. According to the bus times, he has about fifteen-ish minutes until it arrives. Then he checks his app for the boba place, finding out he has enough points to order two drinks. Jeongin wastes no time running across the street and ordering two boba teas. One chocolate and one brown sugar. Hopefully, Hyunjin likes one of these flavors.
Jeongin’s finger hovers over the text messages box in the group chat with Changbin and Seungmin. They both stop texting the group if Jeongin doesn’t participate and it’s been…some time since then. He scratches his neck, wondering if they’d be upset by his absence or happy about the news of a job.
Jeonginnie: Sooo guess who’s not unemployed now…
Jeongin places his phone on the kitchen counter, hands holding on to the back of his neck as he anticipates a response. Unfortunately, it’s his day off. He’s officially been at Corner of Curiosities for a full work week of four days. He wanted to wait until it felt a bit more settled before announcing things to his best friends, not wanting to get their hopes up.
However, it’s been ten minutes now and still no response. Jeongin is about to eat his fist, throw it up, and eat it again. Maybe he should distract himself until there’s a response. Deep cleaning the apartment could definitely kill some time. He could start with the fridge.
It’s hard to judge based off of smell what is actually expired and what isn’t. Jeongin’s sense of smell isn’t functioning like it should, sniffing the cheese that doesn’t expire for another couple of weeks. It looks fine; smells horrid. Jeongin tries to hold back the gag that tickles the back of his throat. Maybe he’ll work around the smelling part for now and read the best by and expiration dates.
Jeongin places Hyunjin’s groceries on the counter. Jeongin hasn’t bought his own in a while; Hyunjin buys his random snacks and drinks every now and then, but most of the items in the fridge belong to Hyunjin. Or the both of them by Hyunjin’s definition.
Once everything is cleared out, Jeongin realizes Hyunjin only has kimchi, a sip of milk left, a singular can of mango juice, a pack of cheese, and leftovers from…somewhere. Hyunjin dated it, letting Jeongin know it’s from the day before and is worth saving.
Jeongin is spraying down the shelves with soapy water in a spray bottle when his phone finally dings, a new text on his phone. Placing the bottle on the floor and taking off his gloves, Jeongin slides his phone out his pocket.
Kim Seungmin: Yay!! I’m so proud!!
Jeongin grins, about to text back when his phone dings again.
Binnie: We should go out to celebrate! Our treat
The three of them go back and forth, formulating plans to hang out. Changbin offered to pick them all up in order to spend more time together and catch up. Hotpot at the new place downtown. Yay, how exciting. Jeongin is looking forward to some aspects. Mainly to see his friends and probably watch them eat. Jeongin adds it to his phone’s calendar. Then an alarm on his phone to make a physical reminder later on after he finishes cleaning.
Jeongin slides his phone back in his pocket, focus redirecting to the fridge in front of him. The spray in the fridge dried, so he pulls on his gloves, picks up the bottle and sprays again. He becomes so engrossed in scrubbing down the build up of grime. He has to ask when Hyunjin moved in because this is absolutely disgusting. Hyunjin might’ve not even be aware of how bad this was. The further he reaches in, the more rancid the smell is--like something rotted in the back and exploded and seeped into the crevices of the shelves and wall.
When he retreats from the fridge, getting fresh air into his lungs, he wipes his forehead with his forearm. Whatever was in the fridge got on his gloves.
Something lands on the island counter behind him, making him jump and whip around. Hyunjin’s standing there, bags of groceries on the counter beside the items Jeongin pulled out. Hyunjin removes his red scarf and coat, asking, “Did something spoil?”
Jeongin’s breathing is labored, his heartbeat irregular. “Not that I’m aware of. Just got bored and decided to do it. Looks like it needed to get done too.”
“Thank you. I never got around to it when I first moved in.” Departs from the kitchen momentarily, discarding his outerwear in his bedroom.
“Yeah,” Jeongin starts when he sees Hyunjin’s hair peek around the corner, the rest of him following in suit. “I can tell. Do you not smell that?”
“Smell what?” Hyunjin walks up to where Jeongin is standing, in his personal space as his hand holds on to Jeongin’s shoulder, anchoring him as he leans in to try and get a wiff of what Jeongin’s talking about.
Hyunjin goes further in, deeply inhaling the fridge’s scent. Then he pulls back, hand sliding down Jeongin’s back to his waist then his hip. Hyunjin frowns, shaking his head.
“Nothing?”
“Nothing. Maybe you cleaned and aired it out well enough.”
Maybe.
Jeongin strains his neck to glance at the island counter, making Hyunjin turn to look as well.
“Do you need help putting everything in the fridge?” Part of Jeongin wants to slide his own hand to rest on Hyunjin’s hip, but he’s still wearing his dirty gloves and he doesn’t want to ruin Hyunjin’s clothes.
“No, but I don’t mind if you do. So yes, help me.” Hyunjin smiles, squeezing Jeongin’s hip then departing to the bags. Jeongin’s side that Hyunjin was leaning into and his hip harvest the warmth, blood circulating through his body.
Jeongin discards his gloves after making sure the shelves were dry and they fall into a comfortable silence as they manuver through the kitchen, working together to stock up the fridge. Jeongin can’t help but smile at the realization of how domestic this is, how natural everything is with Hyunjin.
As Jeongin empties the bags and condenses them, he can’t help but wish he could walk over to Hyunjin and…
Jeongin shakes his head, blushing at the idea that didn’t completely formulate. He glances up at Hyunjin’s clothed back as he organizes the contents in the fridge, muscles moving under the fabric. Jeongin wishes he could run his hands along the expanse of his back, feeling his smooth skin and the bumps of his spine.
Hyunjin turns around, grabbing more items and catching Jeongin’s heavy stare. He smiles before saying, “What?”
Jeongin mumbles, “Nothing.” He can’t believe he got caught staring. His face feels like it’s on fire.
“You sure? Your cheeks are all red. Do you have a fever?” Hyunjin comes closer, back of his hand pressing to Jeongin’s forehead to check his temperature.
“Stop--no, I don’t have a fever.” Jeongin tries swatting away Hyunjin’s hand, but it still makes contact with his forehead, then his neck.
“Hm, looks like you’re right.” Hyunjin pinches his cheek. “Just a blushing cutie.”
If he thought his face was on fire before, now his whole body is as he feels his face melt off. Jeongin instinctually covers his face from Hyunjin, groaning, “Please.”
“Please what?” Hyunjin giggles, enjoying the way Jeongin is crumbling as he teasingly tugs on Jeongin’s earlobe.
“Stop, please.” Jeongin has enough willpower to grab Hyunjin’s hand and hold it away from his face. Hyunjin lets him hold his hand; Jeongin doesn’t drop it. Hyunjin pauses, eyebrows twitching in confusion before smoothing out.
“Only because you asked nicely.” Hyunjin begins to pull away, but Jeongin tightens his grasp on Hyunjin.
“I only meant for right now. I--I’m just--everything feels so--” Jeongin’s stumbling over his words, trying to properly communicate the jumble of words in his brain.
Hyunjin lets out a breahy chuckle, gently tugging on his earlobe again with his free hand. “It’s a lot?”
Jeongin takes a deep breath. “Yes.”
“Don’t worry then.” Hyunjin’s other hand joins their clasped ones, squeezing Jeongin’s hand that’s covering his own. “Let’s finish putting away the groceries then we can watch a movie, yeah?”
Jeongin nods, even though it was mainly Hyunjin putting them away. He doesn’t think he could ever reject spending more time with Hyunjin.
“So, what exactly is your job?” Seungmin asks, adding beef and pork to the boiling soup.
Jeongin’s sipping water, unable to answer at the moment as he watches Changbin assort his plate by what he wants to put in first, second, third, and fourth. There’s a method to his madness that Jeongin doesn’t really understand, but respects and adores about Changbin anyway.
“A digital book store. I don’t know if you heard about those new reader tablets--”
“The weird panel things?”
“Yeah, those. We also sell normal books and actual tablets to read on, but our main selling point are those.”
“So you work at a funky book store.”
Jeongin pauses, thinking. “Yes, I do.”
“Do you like your coworkers?” Changbin asks, adding in his veggies to the broth. Seungmin adds in more meat and tofu in alongside Changbin’s additions.
“They’re fine for the most part. Minho’s not so bad after breaking past his shell and Chan’s pretty chill. Both of them are really caring and sweet.” Jeongin explains, thinking back to how both check in with him constantly, offering him food and drinks to make sure he’s well. He always fumbles when they ask why he’s so gaunt.
“That’s good,” Changbin says before slurping up broth.
“Happy for you, Innie,” Seungmin chirps, picking up beef and pork in one swoop and eating it.
Jeongin’s chopsticks remain untouched in their package and sit beside the duck spoon the server set the table with. Changbin and Seungmin don’t seem to notice or mind. The broth swirls and darkens as his friends eat.
“How’s school?”
Jeongin doesn’t catch who asked him the question, a little zoned out as he watched the broth.
“It’s…school.” When was the last time Jeongin was actually in class? On campus even?
“You don’t sound so sure.” Changbin comments, food in mouth hole.
“It’s because I’m not, to be honest.” Jeongin drinks his water again. “How has the gym been? Your arms look…”
Jeongin doesn’t finish his sentence as Changbin flexes his arms as he chews.
“Bigger.”
Seungmin seems to notice as well, eyes bouncing back from hotpot to Changbin’s biceps to the front door of the restaurant to Changbin’s pecs. Jeongin registers something he didn’t notice before about the pair in front of him.
“Wanna touch?” Changbin offers, arm turning towards Jeongin for easy access.
“No, thanks. I’m good.”
Changbin doesn’t hesitate to turn towards Seungmin, who’s hesitant hand reaches out to grope the muscles on his bicep then his shoulder muscles.
“Impressive,” Seungmin mumbles. The comment makes Changbin grin.
Their waiter stops by, asking if there’s anything else they need. Seungmin asks for more meat and veggies. The waiter glances at Jeongin, eyes questioning if he needs anything. Jeongin awkwardly smiles in return, picking at his cuticles and averting his gaze. The waiter hovers at their table for a moment before departing.
They fall back into conversation, Changbin updating them about his gym routine and Seungmin complaining about home life and about his studies. Jeongin contributes, sharing silly interactions with customers and how Minho begs Chan to let them have a bookstore cat because they absolutely need one. However, sometimes he pauses in storytelling, accidentally making eye contact with their waiter who seems to be glaring at their table. Their waiter shifts between typing something on their phone to whispering to another employee, possibly their manager.
Jeongin doesn’t have a reason to be nervous. He’s not acting inappropriate or causing a disturbance. No one at the table is. Eventually Seungmin and Changbin catch on, also glancing at the waiter behind them. That seems to put them off, the three of them watch as the waiter scurries behind the back kitchen doors out of shame.
“What was that about?” Seungmin wonders, unintentionally stabbing his tofu with his chopsticks.
Jeongin shrugs, rubbing his cardigan covered arms. The weaving in the cardigan calms him, drying his palms and grounding him. He can’t tell if he was imagining the way the waiter seemed bothered with him in particular, or if it was the three of them. Jeongin tries to focus back in on the conversation, but now his brain swims at what he could’ve done that upset the waiter to the point they’d glare at him from across the restaurant.
Jeongin feels like he’s an example in a scenario as to why you shouldn’t walk home alone late at night. Even with all the colorful fluorescent lights in the city and the millions of surveillance cameras, the crime rate is as high as Jeongin’s anxiety.
To make it even better, to his left he can hear peculiar wet noises then a loud crunch. At first, he thought a couple was being indecent. But why would there be a loud crunch? After a quick glance out of curiosity, he finds two persons hunched over a body. The lights hang above them, giving Jeongin a poor view of what they are doing while being wedged into the alleyway.
They’re undead. They’re eating the skin and meat off of a corpse.
Jeongin assumes they don’t hear him because he’s stopped and is just staring. He knows he shouldn’t since it might bring more attention to what’s happening but he’s so… Enthralled by it. He notices his mouth is watering and he’s unintentionally taking steps towards them, being pulled in from the copper smell. It’s not until he accidentally steps in a puddle that they stop their actions and whip around to gawk at him.
Jeongin’s jaw drops. It’s Jisung and Felix from his apartment building. His neighbors. He knows them. He isn’t scared of them. Should he be? Should he be running and alerting someone of the dead body?
Then Felix is waving Jeongin over. And Jeongin steps toward the two of them. His sneakers sink into the puddles that slowly grow darker as Jeongin reaches them. The smell of iron surrounds them in the alley. He notices that their coats are missing. How are they not cold in this weather?
“Want a bite?” Felix offers him a… Jeongin can’t even tell what it is. His eyes flicker past Felix and he sees a mauled body. Skin ripped from the face, eyeballs gone. The jaw is slacked open but there’s no tongue so there are bloody white teeth shining admist the darkness. A majority of the corpse’s bicep is gone. The bicep might be what Felix is offering to him. Jisung seems to be… going at the ribs. Another cracking noise, followed by slurping.
Without thinking, Jeongin grabs the meat. Felix pulls his hands back, licking something from his fingers. Jeongin then realizes how dark the lower portion of Felix’s face is. A sign above them flashes, shining off the crimson. Felix continues to suck on his own fingers and watch Jeongin.
Jeongin holds the meat between three fingers as he smells it. It’s so enticing. Like somehow this singular piece will wash away his worries. For the first time in a long time, his stomach growls. His chills grow stronger, spreading rapidly down his limbs.
“Is this your first?”
Jeongin’s head snaps up. “Huh?”
“Have you eaten before? Or is this your first?”
“I’ve… I don’t want to eat this.” Jeongin works against everything in his body screaming at him to eat this corpse. He grabs Felix’s bloody wrist and places the piece of bicep in his palm. “I’m not…this. I’m human.”
Jisung sounds like he chokes on something then starts laughing. Jeongin watches Jisung’s shoulders shake. He mumbles something, mouth full of meat.
“Be nice or shut up,” Felix retorts. Jisung grumbles, more crunching and slurping. “Jisung hasn’t eaten in over a month. Ignore him. But do you really think you’re human, Jeongin? How long have you been sick? How long has food been repulsive?”
Jeongin wipes his fingers clean on his black jeans, aware they’ll stain. He wants to avoid tasting anything from this corpse.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jeongin lies. He doesn’t want it to be true. It can’t be, right? He’s just…he has the flu. Or a cold. He’s not…
Jisung stands, face equally as messy as Felix’s. Jeongin glances at the corpse and realizes that Jisung was breaking off the ribbones and… Slurping them?
“Did you ever ask Hyunjin what he does for work?”
“Yes, but… I’ll see you guys later. I can’t-- I need to go home.” Jeongin never got a clear answer from Hyunjin. They don't need to know that. He also doesn't need to be near something that's begging for him to rip it into shreds with his teeth and fingers.
The run in with Felix and Jisung leaves Jeongin starving. It’s not like he hasn’t tried eating as of late, because he has, but nothing satisfies his appetite. The corpse’s open ribcage is tattooed in his brain even though it was poorly lit in the alley. The smell wrapped itself around his nose hairs, clogging his senses. His stomach hurts more than ever as it tries to fold in and eat itself. Being exhausted and hungry makes him accidentally bump into the walls while trying to make it up his stupid staircase. Why can’t the elevator be fixed?
Opening his front door, a new smell breaks past the barrier that the corpse set up. It’s not as strong, but it’s there. Jeongin sniffs. It’s coming from the kitchen.
Jeongin trips over his own feet while shedding his layers. Bag and coat ditched by the front door before he falls into the kitchen entryway. Moments like this, Jeongin is appreciative of the building being so run down or else the apartment would wake up and ask if he’s okay, which would result in Hyunjin waking up. The thought makes Jeongin groan; the last person he wants to see right now is Hyunjin. He can’t let Hyunjin see him like this.
He doesn’t bother with the lights; not even sure if they’re working right now. The street lights are decent enough even if they’re flickering. He palms at the fridge door, struggling to form a grip then rips it open. There’s a waft of unpleasant odors coming from the fresh fruit and vegetables that Hyunjin must’ve recently bought. Then there’s an indescribable scent that seeps from the back of the shelf. His hands reach in, mindlessly pulling out the contents blocking him from the mystery item in the back.
When Jeongin pulls it out, his mouth is watering. In his hands is raw beef steak, fresh from the market. This is Hyunjin’s.
What’s mine is yours.
Hyunjin’s voice rings in his mind as his unstable fingers rip the top off of the container to expose the red sustenance. Pulling it out of its protective wrap, he shoves as much of it into his mouth. The taste electrifies his tongue and sets off fireworks in his head. Tingles spread all over his skin as he bites into it, ripping a large portion off and chewing with his mouth open. Once Jeongin is done chewing and swallows, he bites off another chunk.
This goes on until he’s licking leftover blood off his fingers, the bone, and from the container. He can feel his own drool drying on his neck, and in his peripheral vision, he can see stains on his white shirt. Before shame and disgust can begin to wash over him, Jeongin catches another heavenly scent pouring out from the shelving in front of him and in a split second, he’s ransacking the fridge to find whatever he’s smelling.
Within seconds, he has his fingers on raw lamb. Fingers covered in blood, Jeongin is unable to get a firm grip on the lid and container. So he throws it on the ground. The glass that was holding the meat shatters across the floor as the meat mostly remains plopped on the linoleum. Jeongin doesn’t give a second thought as he crouches down to the floor and begins scooping as much as he can into his mouth. A few glass shards catch his fingers and lips but he gives no mind to it and eats and eats and eats and eats.
Jeongin is about to start licking the blood off the linoleum floor when he hears a throat clearing. Looking up, he sees Hyunjin in his nightwear. He’s squinting down at Jeongin, who has the spotlight thanks to the fridge.
For a quarter of a second, Jeongin thinks about running to Hyunjin and curling his fingers into his hyung’s skull then bashing it in to get to his brain. The left side of his brain is still functioning though; it holds him back. His heart lightly thumps in his chest after the thought passes. Instead Jeongin looks down at his hands and the blood on the linoleum.
Hyunjin sighs, the sound of his slippers sliding on the floor signaling that he’s walking away. Jeongin continues examining his hands and realizes his mouth... It doesn’t hurt. The broken container on the floor reminds him of the glass that’s probably in his mouth. There are pieces of glass sticking to his hands and he has cuts all along his fingers. His once white shirt is now covered in varying shades of red and pink. Jeongin notices he’s no longer hungry.
When Hyunjin returns, he has a first aid kit along with what looks like wipes. Jeongin is pulled up by his shoulders and he leans against their island. He watches as Hyunjin pops open the first aid and rummages around a bit. Jeongin zones out, thinking about how the wounds on his hands and face don’t hurt. He felt them, but there was no sting to it. Not even now as Hyunjin picks out rice sized pieces of glass, not even when he gently wipes down each wound.
Even if it doesn’t hurt, Jeongin still bleeds and that’s why Hyunjin applies hydrogen peroxide to his wound and--okay, wow. He felt the sting of that. However, it’s not like how he remembers peroxide felt on an injury. Jeongin tries not to think about how sick he is and just watches as Hyunjin applies gauze to small cuts then wraps around an adhesive tape to hold it close together. Maybe Jeongin should be in a hospital to get stitches, but they both know that’s not a good idea. Hyunjin doesn’t have to ask and Jeongin is no longer confused. The telltale signs all add up at this point.
Jeongin’s eyes tingle a little, a wet streak trails down his cheek. Carefully, he wipes it away with an uncovered appendage. As Hyunjin takes care of Jeongin’s other hand, the younger realizes the mess he made. The glass covering their small, ugly and already dirty kitchen. The blood that Jeongin didn’t lick up is pooling in the cracks of the linoleum. Now that his hunger subsided, he’s disgusted with himself.
Once Hyunjin finishes with his hand, he moves onto his face. There are fewer shards hiding in the crevices of the wounds, so Hyunjin is quickly done with picking Jeongin clean and is carefully wiping his neck, chin, cheeks, and mouth. Jeongin sticks out his tongue just in case a few shards slipped by, but Hyunjin let’s him know he’s all good.
Packing everything into the first aid kit, Hyunjin pauses to stare at Jeongin for a moment. Jeongin can’t tell what Hyunjin’s thinking, but him staring alone makes his eyes water. Hyunjin sighs. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
They both walk to the bathroom and Jeongin strips down until he’s bare before stepping into their old tub. Jeongin is so thankful their medicine cabinet glows like the rest of the city or they’d be tripping over their own feet to settle down. Jeongin props himself up in the corner, curling up out of habit to cover himself, and uses the wall of the tub as support. Hyunjin turns on the water, light splashes hitting both men, adjusting the temperatures until it is warm and then searches the bathroom for a washcloth and soap.
The water slowly rises to Jeongin’s shins and Hyunjin guides his hands out the way to avoid them from getting wet. Jeongin doesn’t have to think to hard to know that Hyunjin is using his own soap to cleanse him. Jeongin’s new body wash is still in a bag in his room.
Hyunjin turns off the water then cups his hand and gently rinses off Jeongin. His hands run over Jeongin’s chest, rinsing away the day’s sweat and Jeongin’s meal. Hyunjin pauses his actions to grab the washcloth and wets it and rubs it against the bar of soap, making it bubbly. The sudsy cloth goes straight to Jeongin’s neck where most of the mess is. The scent travels to his nose… Something flowery he can’t figure out, but it’s definitely Hyunjin’s.
Jeongin can’t help the way his eyelids threaten to close as Hyunjin thoroughly cleans him. It puts Jeongin at ease, reminding him of when he was a child and the brief moments of being taken care of. His emotions start balling up in his chest, pulling his chest tight. Part of him doesn’t want to give into the comfort Hyunjin offers. Not when Jeongin knows there’s something he’s hiding.
Jeongin stares at Hyunjin, watching as he now washes his biceps. Does he want to know what Hyunjin’s hiding? Why it bothers Felix and Jisung? The thoughts slip away from him as Hyunjin continues with his ministrations. Jeongin’s eyes begin to flutter, fighting to keep his eyes open and Hyunjin catches him drifting off a couple times but doesn’t say anything. Jeongin feels like such a liability. When did Hyunjin take up the responsibility of cleaning after Jeongin? When did Jeongin become such a mess?
“You always were.” Hyunjin whispers.
“Huh?”Jeongin opens his eyes. Fuck, he already nodded off. Hyunjin had moved Jeongin’s arm out the way, putting it around his shoulders. It forces Jeongin to be closer to him as Hyunjin holds up his opposite arm and washes.
“You were already a mess, but tonight... It was an accident. It happens.” Hyunjin pauses his ministrations and looks up at Jeongin. “Were you falling asleep?”
“No.” Jeongin ignores the fact that Hyunjin called him a mess. It may be true but an argument is not needed right now while Hyunjin gives Jeongin a bath.
Hyunjin raises an eyebrow.
Jeongin sighs, “Yeah, I was. I had a…difficult day then I maxed out in the kitchen. I’m really tired.”
There’s a bit of silence for a moment before Hyunjin speaks again. “You can sleep. I’ll finish cleaning you up and carry you to bed.”
“You can’t do that.” Jeongin tries not to think about how his chest is tightening and how close their faces are. A small part of Jeongin wants to push Hyunjin away, insist on taking care of himself. Another wants the complete opposite.
“Why not?”
“You just… You can’t. It doesn’t feel right. It puts things off balance again.” Jeongin tries to reason.
“Off balance? Was anything balanced between us to begin with?” Hyunjin murmurs, wiping across Jeongin’s collar bones.
“I guess not…”
“Then rest.”
Jeongin rolls his eyes as he lets his eyes close. It’s hard for him to completely doze off since it’s uncomfortable for him to lean his head back. He also can’t slide too far down or else he’ll risk falling under the water. He’s about to protest again when he feels Hyunjin push his head onto his shoulder, making him stiffen a little.
“It’s fine. Just sleep.”
Jeongin obliges, relaxing into Hyunjin. Flowery bodywash breaking away the haunting scents from earlier. Jeongin’s head rests on his shoulder, but he swears he can hear his heartbeat.
Jeongin wakes up in a clean shirt and what he hopes is fresh underwear. He doesn’t really care if Hyunjin seen his dick; Hyunjin seeing him ravage on raw meat in their kitchen was his rock bottom. It can’t get any lower than that for him.
His room is dark, letting him know it’s still night. Or he slept the next day away. Jeongin sits up in his bed, realizing this is the first time in a long while he hasn’t woken up starving. Raw meat must really be the aid to his hunger. The thought of it kind of makes him lightheaded, but it’s not like he can do anything about it really. Especially since there hasn’t been a report of a cure after turning. At least, not one that’s being given out to the general public.
Jeongin runs his fingers into his hair, gripping the strands. He can’t deny it longer, can’t deny what’s happening to him. Or what has already happened to him. He has to talk to Changbin and Seungmin…but he has to get a few things figured out. The sound of the bathroom door opening and closing down the hall lets him know that Hyunjin is home.
Rising out of bed, Jeongin slips on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Will the chill ever subside? Jeongin shakes his head and exits his room. He checks the common rooms to discover that Hyunjin’s using the bathroom. Jeongin decides to wait in the kitchen that is ominously dark. Then realizes that their street lights had gone out and that there’s moonlight lighting half the kitchen.
Jeongin eyes adjust to the dark and he examines the floor, almost spotless after his feasting. He has to remember to thank Hyunjin. Or should he tell him to piss off? Jeongin can’t quite gather how he’s supposed to feel towards him. There’s a lack of negativity. Hyunjin makes his dying heart pump blood through his system. Hyunjin makes him warm. Hyunjin keeps him human.
The bathroom door opens and Hyunjin’s slippers drag across the floor as he makes his way into the hall. Jeongin listens to him messing with something in the living room before his slippers grow louder. Jeongin has his back turned, looking out the windows when Hyunjin sees him and says: “Oh, you’re awake.”
Jeongin takes a deep breath, pushing his freezing hands into his pockets. There’s a receipt in here. He quickly pulls it out and checks the info. Hyunjin’s name is printed on the top portion of the receipt. Of course Hyunjin left him his sweater to wear.
“What do you do for work, Hyunjin? And why does it bother Felix and Jisung so much?” Jeongin’s able to get everything out without stuttering. He turns around, facing Hyunjin. He still stands in the dark, face indecipherable.
Hyunjin sighs, tucking a lock of his hair behind his ear and enters the kitchen more. The moonlight catches his face. Jeongin can’t help but notice how pretty he looks in this light.
“I… make UDS cards. One of my managers wants me to work in the field as a hunter. My dad used to be a hunter and originally wanted me to do it as well.”
Jeongin’s not entirely familiar with the world of the undead, but he’s heard rumors before about how the undead were slowly killed off once they reached a point of no return. When every last bit of human left in them was gone. All they did was eat and attack and turn others.
“I met Felix and Jisung as my neighbors first. A few weeks after I had moved in here, a colleague dropped off their case files on my desk. To not only make their cards, but to send them further up in the company, to the hunters. Something about them being a danger to others. I… I couldn’t do it. They’re a few months younger than me…They were already my neighbors. My job wanted them gone because I live here.”
Jeongin sniffles, blinking to keep his eyes clear as he listens to Hyunjin. He can’t bring himself to look at him any longer so he stares at the wall above their kitchen sink.
“So I destroyed all their files. Everything. As far as anyone is concerned, they miraculously turned back overnight.”
Jeongin clears his throat. “How did they…find out what you did for work?”
“They saw me in my suit with my name tag. It says KorDead: Hwang Hyunjin. I told them what I do, but that doesn’t mean anything. I still work there.”
Jeongin doesn’t say anything, processing the information. If Hyunjin wanted him dead, he would’ve done so. Jeongin wishes he could hate Hyunjin like Felix and Jisung seem to. Maybe this would be easier to deal with. If he hated Hyunjin, he could eat him. Right? He could become like Felix and Jisung. However, he’s already like them and something deep in him wants to sink his teeth into Hyunjin. Though it doesn’t come from hate and doesn't come from his hunger.
Taking a deep breath, Jeongin asks, “Do you hate us?”
“I don’t hate you, Jeongin.”
Jeongin leans his head back, the cold window keeping him grounded in reality as he closes his eyes. Hyunjin doesn’t hate him.
“Just me or the undead?”
“Both. I never hated you or the undead.”
Jeongin’s eyes remain closed as Hyunjin’s slippers shuffle closer.
“Do you hate me?” Hyunjin whispers. His fingers pull at Jeongin’s wrist at the opening of the hoodie pocket. His hand slips out a little. Jeongin’s throat constricts as his chest tautens itself. Hyunjin’s index finger reaches into his palm, so Jeongin squeezes it.
“I couldn’t if I tried.” Jeongin whispers in return, voice threatening to crack. Jeongin feels Hyunjin raise his hand and presses a kiss to his knuckles. The gesture breaks Jeongin, tears seeping past his closed eyelids.
Maybe Hyunjin has always had a sixth sense for Jeongin because he frees his other hand to guide Jeongin into a hug. Jeongin’s head fits easily into the crook of Hyunjin’s neck as arms wrap around Jeongin’s waist and shoulders, forcing his ever persistent chill to shrink away.
Jeongin holds onto Hyunjin and his tears dampen Hyunjin’s t-shirt. His shoulders shake in Hyunjin’s grasp. Everything that he’s been hiding deep in himself crawling it’s way out in the form of tears.
Hyunjin doesn’t say anything as he rubs Jeongin’s back with one hand and the other cradling his skull. It makes Jeongin cry harder, pulling Hyunjin as close as possible. Hyunjin doesn’t hate him. He doesn’t hate Hyunjin. And this is the warmest Jeongin has felt in months.
Jeongin clicks through the bookmarked tabs on his laptop, finally finding the one that directs him to his school portal. He opens his online report card and gasps lightly. He can’t even reel his mind back to when he started missing classes, much less doing poorly in his schoolwork. His highest graded class is at a C-. Jeongin can’t guess why that’s high and the rest are so low, D’s threatening to turn into F’s. The professor might not be grading assignments or some shit.
If Jeongin was still passionate about school, this wouldn’t be the current state of his grades. However, his illness--sickness--virus--becoming undead, it’s fallen apart. Slipped between his fingers like sand in an open palm. It’s not like he wanted to do engineering anyway. If anything, it feels freeing to click Withdraw from all. Though, the page buffers so it forces him to withdraw from each course individually. Jeongin is lucky that his semester is still within the withdrawal period or else he would’ve fucked himself over more. Wouldn’t have mattered much.
As he’s removing the courses, the front door slams open, followed by a curse, is slammed shut, and there are footsteps being made towards Jeongin. Something heavy is dropped on to the coffee table, dragging Jeongin’s attention away from his laptop. It’s wrapped in white deli paper, staining itself red. Hyunjin’s breathing heavy, ripping off his red scarf and peeling off his coat. Jeongin doesn’t even have to ask what is it based off the smell. It’s similar to the other night when he came across Felix and Jisung, but richer, fresher. It waters his mouth.
Jeongin’s holding himself back, eyes darting from the wrapped meat to Hyunjin. “Where did you get this?”
“I know a guy who knows a better guy that works at the hospital that knows another guy that does favors like this.” Hyunjin gestures to the meat. The red spot on the paper grows, bit by bit. It threatens to pool on the table if they don’t do something about it. “Eat.”
“What?” Jeongin stops ogling the meat, wiping drool from the corner of this mouth. “I’m not--I mean, I’m fine. I don’t need that.”
Hyunjin crouches, hand resting on Jeongin’s knee. “Yes, you do, actually. You haven’t seen what happens to people when they don’t eat. I don’t want that happening to you.” Hyunjin sees the undead as people still?
Jeongin slides his laptop off his lap, putting the screen at half mast. The idea of rotting skin and flesh sliding off his bones flashes in his mind for half a second. Would his eyes lose color, drained from life like in the Naver articles? “Do I want to know what happens?”
“Maybe not right before you eat.”
“Good point.” Jeongin rubs his hands on his jean covered thighs, his fingers brushing Hyunjin’s. It makes his skin tingle.
“Let’s do this in the kitchen for an easier clean up.” Hyunjin snatches up the meat, leaving a crimson oval on the cheap hardwood table. That might never come out. Hyunjin stands, extending a hand to Jeongin. Blood is all over his palm and fingers; he doesn’t seem to mind the mess. Jeongin slides his hand into Hyunjin’s.
Jeongin is on the floor again, ripping the wrapping off while licking his fingers clean. Hyunjin went back to the living room, scrubbing away at the coffee table. Jeongin sinks his teeth into whatever this is (might be a slab of someone’s back). Blood pools around his mouth before he slurps it down and rips off the chunk, chewing loudly as his stomach growls. The meat oozes, red ribbons cascading down Jeongin’s arm and staining his clothes. Flavors explode in his mouth; this is the best thing he’s tasted in months.
Tears start forming in his eyes as he forces his fingers into the muscle to rip it apart. He brings his right hand--holding the smaller piece of the two--to his mouth, sucking blood from it like he’s simply sucking juice from a lemon, an orange. An orange Hyunjin offered him. The tears roll down his cheeks, adding some saltiness to the preexisting flavor. Jeongin doesn’t pause as the tears continue to fall, knowing if he stops, he’ll be hungry longer. His stomach isn’t turning in disgust, but he can feel part of him screaming to stop this, push it away and deny it all happening to him still.
Jeongin rips the bigger piece in his left hand into smaller bits, shoveling them both into his mouth to chew and suck on while he breaks down the meat into mouthfuls. The tears don’t stop as he continues to eat.
It’s not until he’s cupping the quickly coagulating blood and slurping it down that he realizes Hyunjin is watching him from the kitchen entrance. He’s relaxed against the doorframe, head resting on his own shoulder. Jeongin doesn’t think he looks alarmed, but why is he standing there? Why is he staring?
“Do I scare you?” Jeongin asks. He knows what he looks like: sitting on the kitchen floor, a thick crimson streak running down from his mouth to his lap, a dried puddle waiting at the end of it. His arms covered in red ribbons, crust drying under his nails. He’s not crying anymore, but he wouldn’t be shocked if his eyes match the mess on him.
Hyunjin strides over to him, gently lowering himself to Jeongin’s level. “You could never scare me, Jeonginnie.” His hand twitches, running up Jeongin’s arm, shoulder, neck, then rests on his sticky cheek. “You look beautiful like this.”
“I’m sick--I’m considered undead.”
“But you still have feelings. You’re human still. I feel your heartbeat--” his other hand slides to Jeongin’s meakly pumping heart. “--You’re still alive. You’re still you.”
It beats because of you.
Jeongin resists the urge to nuzzle into Hyunjin’s hand--to spread the mess--before pulling away to glance down at the trash. “I’m done, by the way. We need to clean.”
Jeongin looks into Hyunjin’s eyes, something unfamiliar twisting in his irises. He looks like he wants to say something, then mumbles, “Okay,” before rising to his feet and turning back into the living room. He retrieves his cleaning supplies and Jeongin peels himself off the floor.
Jeongin’s clothes are stuck in different shapes. The puddle in his lap still drips, so he undresses in the kitchen to avoid creating a trail. He pulls off his ruined shirt to find Hyunjin staring at him again. Being caught causes Hyunjin to jump into action, removing the trash from the floor then sponging up the mess Jeongin left behind.
“Don’t worry about helping, I’ll take care of it. Just head to the tub.” Hyunjin wrings out the sponge in his bucket, bloody soap water pouring into the bucket.
Jeongin acknowledges Hyunjin with a sound of agreeement, giving up on both clothing items and balling them up as he pushes them deep into the trash bin. Jeongin decides to keep the underwear even if it’s stained. No one will see his bloody crotch and immediately assume he ate human flesh.
Trekking to the bathroom, Jeongin sets up the shower head and temperature, warm water pouring through the head. He sheds his underwear and steps in under the water, rinsing away evidence of his dinner. Using the palm of his hand, he wipes away what he can. It flakes off and dissolves with the help of water, turning the water pooling his feet pink. Once Jeongin is certain most of the blood has been scrubbed away, he reaches out to find soap, finding Hyunjin’s.
Jeongin’s mind replays his first mess in the kitchen, Hyunjin helping him, bathing him. Then it replays this afternoon’s events. Jeongin thinks about Hyunjin in the kitchen right now, cleaning up after him. Jeongin’s grateful for Hyunjin, but wants to bang his head into a wall because he should be out there helping him.
Jeongin is about to shut off the water and go out into the kitchen to clean up his own mess when Hyunjin enters the bathroom. Upon seeing Jeongin bare, Hyunjin pauses, eyes connecting with Jeongin’s.
Jeongin nods, giving permission and jerks his head to invite him in. Hyunjin strips himself of his clothes, his bareness surprising Jeongin for a moment even though he knew what was coming. His heart rate picks up as Hyunjin steps in the tub and they’re eye to eye.
“You could’ve waited for me.”
“I’m sorry.” Jeongin apologizes, guilty from not helping Hyunjin. Guilty from not waiting, for causing a mess to begin with. For being sick.
“Huh?” Hyunjin asks, grabbing the soap sliding out of Jeongin’s hands. He lathers his hands then starts rubbing soap on to Jeongin’s chest, fingers brushing over his nipples on accident. Jeongin’s mouth slacks briefly before he closes his mouth shut. He resists the temptation to lean into Hyunjin.
“I should’ve helped you…clean.” Hyunjin’s hands travel to his biceps, sudds forming with each wipe.
“You could’ve, but I told you not to worry about it. Plus, there’s always next time.”
Next time, meaning Hyunjin will continue to feed him; will continue to clean after him; will continue to wash him. Something brushes Jeongin’s leg, but he chooses to ignore it.
“Why are you washing me?” Jeongin asks as Hyunjin turns him around to clean his back, chills running down Jeongin’s spine as Hyunjin’s hands graze close to his butt before traveling back up. His hands spread down his biceps again, rubbing into the skin.
“Because,” Hyunjin pauses. It’s only a moment, but Jeongin whips around, startling Hyunjin a little.
“Because?” Jeongin asks, Hyunjin avoiding his gaze. Jeongin gently holds his shoulders as he tries to find his line of sight. “Tell me, hyung.”
Hyunjin’s eyes soften, softly ruffling Jeongin’s hair as his fingers rest at the nape of his neck. Hyunjin looks so pretty, he always does. His eyebrows slant in a way that makes him look sad.
“I care about you…I.. I like you, Innie.”
Jeongin moves Hyunjin’s arms, placing them around his neck then tucks a stray strand of Hyunjin’s hair behind his ear. Now Jeongin can understand the way Hyunjin has been staring at him. Adoration; care; endearment. Always has been that way.
Resting his hands on the junction of Hyunjin’s elbows, he softly says, “I like you, too, Hyunjin.”
They stare at one another while the water beats down Jeongin’s back. Jeongin desperately wants to lean in, to press his lips to Hyunjin’s, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He sees Hyunjin’s eyes also flicker to his lips, hesitant.
“I’m scared I’ll bite.” Jeongin explains. “And I’m not sure how I got sick.”
“Oh.” Is all Hyunjin says. Not at the bite--that’s expected--but the realization of Jeongin’s health condition. A bite is one of many ways to pass it, blood consumption is another, sexually is another. Jeongin can’t recall that far back to know which it was in his case. He doesn’t want to pass what he has to Hyunjin. Can you spread this virus through a kiss? Through spit?
Hyunjin doesn’t move away, locking his arms behind Jeongin’s neck as he leans in, pressing his lips to Jeongin’s collarbone. He holds himself there, pressing his affection into Jeongin’s skin so that he’ll remember it tomorrow, next week, next month. Hyunjin then rests his head on Jeongin’s shoulder. Jeongin instinctively places his arms around Hyunjin’s waist. They stay like that, water beating down Jeongin’s back as they waste their hot water.
Seungmin holds on to Jeongin’s coat, looking down at his phone as Jeongin leads them home from the bus stop. Seungmin wanted to check out Jeongin’s job, Jeongin wanted to see his best friends, so he invited Seungmin to meet him at work and for Changbin to meet up with them at his apartment. Jeongin gave Seungmin a small tour of his small work space. (“This is where our store cat would rest, if we had one,” Minho had shown both of them a wonderful stack of books that did look like a comfy bed for a pretty feline.)
Seungmin purchased a book and funky bookmark. Jeongin didn’t catch what book he chose; probably someone’s autobiography, nonfiction, or manga. Jeongin is confused by Seungmin’s taste most times, but he doesn’t question it. Seungmin accidentally tugs a little aggressively, stumbling over his own feet. Jeongin peeks over his shoulder to see Seungmin’s eyes glued to his phone still. He guesses Seungmin’s reading manga or texting someone, possibly Changbin.
They round the last corner, Jeongin using his phone flashlight to ignite the way to his building. Leaves and snow crunch under their shoes. Jeongin’s hair whips in different directions as they walk up the steps leading into the lobby.
The door is difficult to crack, hinges freezing and refusing to budge. Though, Jeongin pulls with extra force and it budges, much to his surprise. Normally, the door wouldn’t be able open, resulting in him and Seungmin either trying to open it themselves or waiting until someone else arrived to let them in.
Seeing Felix and Jisung again is a bit jarring, especially when Jeongin still recalls them being bloody in a dank alley. Maybe he should’ve caught on to the way the air had copper in it, but he didn’t. Jeongin is stepping into his building’s lobby, Seungmin still following closely behind him. Jeongin pauses and Seungmin walks straight into his back.
“Oh, hey,” Jeongin attempts at being casual. He can’t tell if it’s working; he feels like a deer caught in front of headlights. “Felix, Jisung meet Seungmin--” Jeongin gestures behind him to a confused and freezing Seungmin, who’s still partially outside and exposed to the elements-- “one of my best friends. Seungmin meet Jisung and Felix, my neighbors.”
“Hi!”
“It’s nice to meet you!”
Jeongin knows that they can smell Seungmin. He’s been able to figure out why his nose is so sensitive, the distinction between individual people in crowds. He never seen anyone make note of the copper or iron scent in articles--which means no undead person has written an article before. All written by those unaffected.
Seungmin’s polite, waving, and saying a small, “Hello.”
Jisung glances at Felix then Seungmin before settling on Jeongin. “We were going across town for dinner. Did you want to join us later?”
Jeongin moves into the lobby more, saving Seungmin from freezing to death as he processes the question.
“No, I’m good. I ate earlier actually.” Jeongin declines the offer, Seungmin looking at him in surprise before regaining composure. This is news to him.
“Yeah, I could smell it in our place,” Jisung laughs.
Felix rolls his eyes. “Just let us know if you ever want to come with us for dinner sometime.”
Jeongin mumbles something along the lines of I will as the four of them manuver out of each other’s ways, Jeongin and Seungmin heading toward the stairs and Felix and Jisung out the door.
Jeongin and Seungmin travel up the stairs in silence for the most part until they reach his door, Jeongin keying in the code. He opens the door to the apartment being well lit. Building management finally did something about their lights.
“When did Changbin say he’ll be here?” Jeongin hears Seungmin fumbling with his coat pockets as they enter the apartment. They slide off their shoes, leaving them in the designated shoe corner.
Hyunjin’s in the living room, a drama playing on the TV, but he pauses it to look over at Jeongin. They hold eye contact as Jeongin directs himself to his bedroom, waving hello in acknowledgment as he disappears down the hall. Jeongin doesn’t miss Hyunjin returning the wave.
Jeongin enters his room, lighting itself based on a sensory switch that he’s going to have to find later and disable so he can control when the light turns on.
“Around five thirty, more or le--whoa.” Seungmin stops in Jeongin’s doorway, amazed by the lack of cardboard box furniture. The plastic monstera Seungmin gifted him now sits on an actual nightstand with a functioning drawer and shelf for his books, or whatever else he wants to throw down there.
Jeongin sheds his layers, throwing it on his designated clothes chair that only holds his outerwear. He gestures for Seungmin to do the same, who’s still looking around the room to see every bit of it, so Jeongin helps him remove his layers and places it on top of his own.
“I like what you did with your room--it actually looks like a room now.” Seungmin sits on his bed, staring at a small painting on the wall of a fox and a ferret meeting in the snow. “That’s a cute painting.”
“Thank you. Hyunjin made it for me.”
Seungmin nods, then seems to process what Jeongin said. “I didn’t realize you guys were close like that.”
Like that. What does that mean?
“Can you elaborate?” Jeongin sits down, facing Seungmin. His mind flashes back to when Hyunjin eavesdropped the last time Seungmin and Changbin were over, but that was on accident. At least that’s what Jeongin chooses to believe.
“Like, gifting each other paintings of two cute animals close.”
“That’s not any clearer.”
Seungmin turns to see that the bedroom door is still open, so when he turns back to Jeongin he whispers, “Are you guys sleeping together?”
“No. I wouldn’t tell you anyhow.”
“Would you tell Changbin?”
“Hell no.”
“Okay, I’m satisfied with that response.”
Jeongin pauses, considers what he’s about to say.
“Are you and Changbin sleeping together?”
Seungmin’s eyes widen, eyebrows disappearing into his bangs. If he would’ve kept a straight face, Jeongin would’ve believed whatever he told him. His face relaxes, shoulders slacking as he rubs his socked feet together.
“No.” He doesn’t even try hiding the disappointment in his voice. It may have been unnecessary to ask Seungmin about him and Changbin like that.
“Does he know how you feel?” Jeongin presses on regardless.
“I don’t know. It’s not like I make it obvious--” Jeongin begs to differ. “--but it doesn’t really matter. He’s currently rambling about some girl named Minnie that he sees at the gym from time to time. Funny thing is, I’m pretty sure I met her girlfriend.”
Jeongin chuckles, crossing his legs as he gets more comfortable on his bed. Seungmin does the same as he leans back to lay with his arms spread out, staring at the ceiling.
“As long as he’s not talking about Hyunjin, I’m cool with it. Sorry he’s distracted by a lesbian though.” Jeongin comments, picking at his thumb nail as he studies Seungmin’s face.
“It’s whatever. I try not to think about it too much, knowing it’ll make me go insane every time we hang out or talk or even glance at each other.” Seungmin licks his lips, thinking. “Sometimes I feel like it’s just him and I in a room, when we fall into a steady rhythm with whatever we’re doing. Like we’re the only ones that exist. Shining like mirrorballs.”
Jeongin nods, understanding exactly what he means. For Seungmin and Changbin; for him and Hyunjin. It’s almost like Seungmin reached into his subconscious and found his feelings buried beneath his every day thoughts.
“Whatever. I’m going to stop talking about this or else I won’t shut up. So why a fox and a ferret?”
Upon Changbin’s arrival, Jeongin and Seungmin relocate to the kitchen to situate themselves at the island counter with two pizza boxes and a box of wings. They adapted to Jeongin’s diet, no longer getting him his own box. Hyunjin must’ve retired to his room since the TV is off and his bedroom door is closed.
Jeongin watches Seungmin and Changbin’s interactions, Seungmin seeming to be more vulnerable after expressing his feelings. Jeongin can’t tell who’s leaning more into the other. They’ve always been attentive with one another, care in their every move. Jeongin understands Seungmin’s dilemma as the night wears on.
“Oh, I met Jeongin’s neighbors.”
“You have neighbors? Other people live here?” Changbin gapes at Jeongin, who balls up a napkin and throws it at Changbin’s forehead instead of responding. Changbin grumbles about dongsaengs needing to respect hyungs more.
“Their names were Felix and Jisung. They invited him to dinner.”
Jeongin’s neck tenses. He should’ve expected where this was going.
“I’m sorry, Innie, I would’ve brought you your favorite had I known.” Changbin apologizes. Both of them haven’t quite figured it out, but Jeongin can’t blame them. They’re not him--they are not in his body experiencing the revolting taste of anything he attempts to eat. They don’t crave to rip someone’s arm off, to bite into the bone and muscle. To hear the crunch as his teeth and nails alone rip a human body to pieces.
“Nah, it’s…it’s okay.” Jeongin reassures. There’s an awkward silence as they both try to figure out what’s going on with him--it’s almost as if Jeongin can see the gears turning in their heads. Jeongin needs to grease their gears in order for them to understand.
“I don’t know how much you guys read about the virus from a few years back,” Jeongin starts, slowly introducing the topic to them. “But the symptoms are quite interesting.”
They both make a face of confusion, somewhat of interest. Jeongin continues, explaining the lack of appetite, the memory loss, weight loss, every symptom he has (even the copper smell). He watches the gears shift, the grease smoothing out the bumps and malfunctions. Seungmin looks to Changbin, Changbin looks to Seungmin. They don’t say anything as they think.
“That would explain a lot actually.” Seungmin says, taking a bite out of his pizza.
“And I may know who got you sick. Can’t guarantee it’s from this situation, but it’s possible.” Changbin shares, moving his empty box of wings to the side of the counter where their trash resides.
“Go on.” Jeongin encourages.
“Do you remember Beomgyu’s house party? From before you moved here?”
Jeongin barely does. He was drinking, maybe smoking something he probably shouldn’t have been.
“I think so? Was there a fight?” Changbin and Seungmin nodded. “Okay, who was fighting?”
“You and some dude named Seunghun.”
“Me?”
“It wasn’t anything serious, I think you guys bumped into each other and he was already pissed about something. I left you alone for a second and when I turned around, his nose was bleeding and your knuckles were bleeding… Did he bite you?”
It easily connects in Jeongin’s head--whether Seunghun’s blood got in his knuckles or even his mouth--he knows how he got sick. And he wants to fight Seunghun again, this time with a reason to make his nose bleed.
“No, he didn’t bite me.” Jeongin wouldn’t mind biting him, tearing his head off. “Have you heard anything about him?
“Not really, he’s more of Beomgyu’s friend of a friend. I don’t see him around often.”
“But you have seen him.”
“Yeah, but he’s usually wearing a mask, has sunglasses, and wears a beanie. Completely covered.”
Jeongin nods. Seunghun might be doing worse than he is, so he’ll accept that as is.
Seungmin glances out the kitchen and into the hall. “Does Hyunjin know?”
Jeongin nods again. “He might’ve known before me, honestly. Or the same time I did.”
“How would he know before you?”
Jeongin thinks, figuring out a way to word it without revealing too much. “He has… a trained eye.”
Seungmin eyebrow raises in question, but doesn’t ask anything. Neither does Changbin, looking between the two. Jeongin is thankful they don’t ask; the less they know the better. Even if they might’ve assume the worst and think Hyunjin’s a KorDead hunter. They might not want to know anything about the world that Jeongin is now part of.
Jeongin yanks down a clean T-shirt over his head, hair still wet from a brief shower to clean off his work filth. It was a short day, only working a few hours to help with restocking some tablets that came in. It was slow enough that Chan sent him home, saying he’ll probably close up early since there was minimal foot traffic.
Jeongin didn’t mind one bit. Hyunjin had asked him if he wanted to watch a movie in the living room the day before. Jeongin had to decline at first, their schedules not lining up the way they needed it to. When Chan gave him the OK to go home, he texted Hyunjin as fast as possible, asking if he was still free and at home.
Hyunjin prepared some snacks. Popcorn for himself and… Hyunjin acquired something for him to eat, his text hinting at it. Jeongin’s not sure what the movie is about either, all he knows is that Hyunjin loves it and wants Jeongin to watch it with him.
Jeongin exits his room, heading towards the living room where it’s mostly dark minus the TV illuminating the couch covered in Hyunjin and Jeongin’s blankets. He can hear and smell the popcorn from the kitchen along with other sounds. A knife cutting into something as it connects with the cutting board. The knife slicing subsides, other noises replacing it.
Jeongin finds a spot on the couch, sliding under the blankets. He steals Hyunjin’s as he pulls both over him and up to his chin to block the chill that hangs in their apartment, that resides under Jeongin’s skin.
Hyunjin’s slippers announce his arrival as he crosses the hall from the kitchen to the living room, presenting the bowl of popcorn on the table along with… what looks like a bowl of chopped fingers. Jeongin then notices the two cups of water on the table
“You took my blanket.” Hyunjin complains, hands on his hips as he stares down at Jeongin.
“I was cold.”
“You’re always cold.” Hyunjin lifts up the other side of the blankets, sliding in next to Jeongin. His body heat rolls off him in waves, especially when his hand creeps its way on to Jeongin’s clothed thigh. The hand is gone too soon while the heat lingers; Hyunjin leans forward to select the movie on the table. Jeongin watches as his fingers dance across the surface, buttons lighting up under his touch.
“I wasn’t sure if you were hungry--I don’t know how your appetite works.” Hyunjin explains as he sits back, arms rubbing against Jeongin’s.
“I was wondering… Are those fingers? In a bowl?”
“Hah, yeah.” Hyunjin scratches his neck briefly before turning his head towards Jeongin, studying his face. “I didn’t want you to feel left out or feel obligated to eat the popcorn.”
Jeongin can’t resist the smile that sneaks on to his face. “Thank you, I appreciate it. I don’t think I’m hungry, but I’ll try them.”
Jeongin breaks from his blanket barrier, grabbing the bowl and inspecting his selection. They all mildly look the same; removed from a hand with a clean cut, no nail polish, blood pooling at the bottom of the bowl. It does smell inviting, watering his mouth as the scent curls in his nose.
The crunch of the bone under his molars is a sensation he doesn’t know he could’ve ever prepared himself for, but it means very little to him. Once he’s done chewing it all goes down the same.
Blood trickles down his fingers and wrist and he goes to lick it up on instinct. He happens to look over at Hyunjin. He’s watching him intently. It breaks Jeongin from his moment a little.
“What? Do I have blood on my face or something?”
Hyunjin scoffs, “No, um. It’s interesting. Watching you eat.”
Jeongin doesn’t really know what to say, mind completely blank. Well, except for one thought: “Did you… want to try it?”
Hyunjin hesitates, hand raising and pausing midair before it falls.
Jeongin drops the finger in the bowl and extends his still wet hand for Hyunjin. “Taste.”
This time Hyunjin doesn’t hesitate as he leans in, lapping up the mess from Jeongin’s fingers, palm, and wrist. Hyunjin’s eyes flutter open with a heavy gaze, appearing like he’s feeding from Jeongin directly.
Jeongin’s mouth dries up, lips opening and closing as he tries to conjure a sentence--a word--something to say.
“Uh,” He starts, an attempt to get the ball rolling. “Would you, uh…”
Hyunjin leans back, some spit and leftover blood pooling around the corners of his mouth. “That wasn’t so bad.”
“Would you ever try it? Eating someone? Someone not infected?”
Hyunjin continues to hold Jeongin’s spit covered hand, intertwining their fingers. “I hadn’t considered it before, but the way you lose yourself in it… As if it’s the first thing you ate in months and satisfies every craving you had--” In a sense, that is literally what happened with Jeongin. “--You’re not put off by it, for obvious reasons. It just doesn’t seem horrifying. You make it seem normal. So, maybe. Not today, but maybe.”
Jeongin nods, squeezing Hyunjin’s hand and he squeezes back. “They do taste good, by the way. The fingers.”
Hyunjin laughs, head falling into Jeongin’s shoulder. The chill in him is nonexistent with Hyunjin by his side, his heart erratic in his chest. Jeongin giggles along with him, his laugh contagious.
Hyunjin’s laughter and Jeongin’s giggles die down, sitting comfortably side by side. If the TV wasn’t bright as hell, Jeongin would try to rest his head on Hyunjin’s and let himself doze off.
“I’m going to press play,” Hyunjin announces, leaving Jeongin’s side for a moment to press a button on the tabletop and to grab his popcorn. He finds his place with Jeongin again, fitting together and filling each other’s gaps. Jeongin’s almost sad that they’re not holding hands when Hyunjin’s hand reappears on Jeongin’s thigh again. They drum a mindless beat as the movie begins. Their conversation floats in Jeongin’s head, pinging from side to side.
Jeongin rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet with his hands in his pockets, scanning to see if there’s a familiar head of hair anywhere on the platform. He’s off from work and offered to meet Hyunjin at the train station and they could go home together. Jeongin never really had to take the train that Hyunjin rides, so he’s a bit clueless on which side he’s stepping off of and wondering if he’s even at the right terminal.
In the distance, he catches a glimpse of Hyunjin. He’s messing with something in his work bag, not paying attention to what’s going on around him. Jeongin gets a pep in his step, advancing toward him until another figure appears.
The man touches Hyunjin’s shoulder, startling him. Confusion is on his features as they talk about something, Hyunjin waving his hand no. Jeongin can’t hear them, many meters separating them on the platform.
Hyunjin tries to depart from the stranger, but he insists, following after him. Hyunjin’s back to Jeongin as he distances himself from the man. Jeongin calls out Hyunjin’s name, but most of it gets lost in the noise of the crowd.
Even if Hyunjin can’t hear him, his legs lead him toward Jeongin as he redirects himself and spots him, Jeongin. Relief washes over his face as he picks up his pace. The man’s head bobs over Hyunjin’s shoulder, still on his tail until he notices Jeongin as well.
Hyunjin reaches Jeongin before the man can reach Hyunjin again. Hyunjin wraps himself around Jeongin, cold fingers on cold neck. Jeongin’s hands go to Hyunjin’s scalp and his waist, holding him in place of a vocal greeting.
When they part, Hyunjin holds his hand, tugging him to exit the platform. Hyunjin avoids looking back.
“Who was that? A coworker?” Jeongin glances behind them; the man halts his movements, watching them intently as other civilians pass between them.
“I don’t know. If he works with me, I have never seen him before. He kept asking me personal questions, if I needed a ride home.” Hyunjin explains, voice mostly leveled. Jeongin would’ve believed he was fine if he didn’t notice Hyunjin wiping his eyes with his free hand.
As they approach the door that connects to the restrooms and ticketing booths, Jeongin knows they’ll be gone from sight from the stranger. He looks back, searching the crowd again to find his face. Jeongin finds it, stares him down as he pulls Hyunjin into the warmth of the building.
Jeongin leads them into the family restroom that’s hidden away in a corner, locking the door behind them as the tears on Hyunjin’s face become more apparent under the fluorescent lighting. Hyunjin’s red cheeks shine as he instinctively attempts to cover his face from Jeongin.
Jeongin doesn’t stop him, instead embracing Hyunjin and petting the back of his head. Hyunjin is mostly silent, sniffling and burrowing further into Jeongin.
Jeongin is aware of the heat brewing in him; this time from anger and not from adoration. Though, his touch remains gentle, caressing Hyunjin and reminding him he’s safe.
“He’s gone, it’s over.”
“He was so fucking insistent,” Hyunjin mumbles into Jeongin’s coat, voice full of emotion. “He wouldn’t--” Hyunjin pulls back, still in Jeongin’s arms as he wipes away his tears and breathes in deeply. “He wouldn’t listen. He was so fucking stupid. He smelled so bad.”
Jeongin laughs, Hyunjin clutches the chest of Jeongin’s coat to anchor himself. “Annoying, ugly, and smelly--he never stood a chance.”
“Never would and never will. God,” Hyunjin blinks, eyes sensitive from the cold outside and now the heater blowing aggressively in this family restroom.
Jeongin wants to comfort him more, not exactly sure how. He settles for rubbing Hyunjin’s cheek with his thumb, hoping it grounds him.
“I’m glad you were here. I would’ve been fine for the most part, but it feels better knowing I’m not alone right now.” Hyunjin tells him.
Jeongin can’t agree that Hyunjin would’ve been fine; not from the way the man looked like he was hunting down prey. It makes the settling anger in Jeongin act up again, his other hand twitching and gripping Hyunjin’s coat a little aggressively before he realizes what he’s doing.
“Is there a different route you can take home? I don’t want you to be scared of coming and leaving here.”
“Not that I know of. Maybe someone from work can give me a lift, or I should look into renting a car. I still have my license.” Hyunjin plays with the elastic band peaking out of Jeongin’s coat, considering his commute options. “Can we go home? I want to be somewhere warm and cozy.”
“This bathroom is warm,” Jeongin jokes.
Hyunjin hits his shoulder, causing Jeongin to laugh. He obligues, detaching himself from Hyunjin and unlocking the bathroom door.
Hyunjin faces the wall, wearing only a tank top and shorts. His room is the warmest and he sleeps with thick blankets. When Jeongin curls into him, he’s wearing his sweatpants and Hyunjin’s sweater. Jeongin’s hand finds Hyunin’s, bunching up the ends of his tank.
Jeongin doesn’t break his grip; instead, he holds Hyunjin’s wrist as he rubs his thumb along the expanse of Hyunjin’s hand. Under the light pressure he feels his bones and joints, tight with tension but slowly letting up with each swipe of Jeongin’s thumb.
Jeongin listens to Hyunjin’s breathing patterns as it evens out. He assumes he’s asleep until Hyunjin pushes further into him, tugging on his arm. Hyunjin wants him as close as possible, to block out anything that may harm him. To soften the blow of the world.
Jeongin holds him, his nose rubbing against the back of Hyunjin’s neck. A shudder passes through Hyunjin then his breathing evens out once more and remains leveled, letting Jeongin know he fell asleep. He soon follows in suit, head resting against Hyunjin’s.
Jeongin swears to himself and will promise to anyone else that ends up finding out about this that he didn’t plan it. He swears on his undead life that he did this by accident. It was all by chance.
He was on his bus, heading home. It takes the same route every time, unless there’s an accident or construction, but today wasn’t one of those days--same old classic route.
The same stranger from the train station boards the bus. Jeongin recognizes him right away. Nothing about him is outlandish to make him stand out in a crowd, other than he’s wearing the exact same thing he had been wearing at the train: a wool coat, hoodie, jeans. He’s not homeless--it’s all clean, fresh. His hair is washed, Jeongin can smell the bodywash and shampoo on him as he passes. But there is something sour about him.
Jeongin should go home, ignore this man. If he ignores him, it’ll be the end of it all. He’ll be gone.
But what if he found Jeongin? What if he planned this, intending to follow Jeongin home? To find Hyunjin?
Jeongin’s grip on the stanchion tightens, knuckles white at the idea of this man, this stranger trying to find his way to Hyunjin. To bother and harm him.
Jeongin intentionally misses his stop, letting it go further into the city. Closer to where neon lights are brighter but the alleys are darker from how high the buildings stretch.
When the area is mostly unrecognizable, Jeongin requests the bus to stop, choosing to exit at the front of the bus. In the corner of his eye, he sees the man exit from the back. Jeongin hops off, choosing to make careful twists and turns, leading them both further into the dark. Jeongin doesn’t check behind him, listening for the other set of feet and paying attention to that sour scent.
There’s a broken sign that advertises a hair salon, pointing to the alley, indicating that there was a backdoor entrance. Attached to the sign was another that read Closed for business. Jeongin takes a sharp turn into the alley.
The man follows in, his shoes dragging on the gravel from the black pavement. He even lets out a deep chuckle, like he trapped Jeongin in this unfamiliar corner. Jeongin had already reached the end of the alley, cut off by a crosslinked fence. He grips on to it.
“You and your little boyfriend look so adorable. Such a shame he’s not with you.”
Jeongin is still listening to his shoes on the ground, crunching with each step. Jeongin waits, unresponsive.
“I could make a lot of use out of the both of you. I know some people who pay really good money to watch you guys get eaten alive.”
The man yanks Jeongin’s shoulder, forcing him to look at him. He even gets a punch in, Jeongin’s lip receiving a cut from the ring on his finger. Jeongin feels the same anger from the train station bubbling in him.
“What? You’re not gonna fight back? It’s so boring when you guys don’t even try.”
He smiles, then Jeongin sees it. His teeth are rotten, plaque eroding the enamel. Jeongin falls to his knees, gagging from the smell and sight of it. It makes the man laugh.
“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna eat ya. Someone else wants to. They paid me to find some pretty boys.”
Jeongin’s stomach turns. Instead of cowering away from the man, he lurches at the man’s legs, ripping the fabric of his jeans. He almost gets away from Jeongin’s grip, completely caught off guard as he says no, no, no over and over again. Jeongin bites into his thigh, causing the man to topple over onto his side.
He yells out in agony, attempting to stop the blood from pumping out of his thigh. How were Jisung and Felix able to do this? Did they snap their victims’ necks?
Jeongin chokes him, ripping the collar of his hoodie as he bites at his collarbone and rids him of skin from that spot. The man tries fighting back against Jeongin, bloody fingers scratching at Jeongin’s grip on his neck. Jeongin brings his head off the ground then forcefully bangs it on the concrete.
Jeongin hears a crunch.
The man’s hands twitch, but they still move against Jeongin’s grip. Jeongin does it again, harder. The crunch sounds softer, wetter. The man’s hands loosen from Jeongin, falling to his sides as his eyes stare blankly at the cross linked fence.
Jeongin wastes no time removing the hoodie and wool coat, exposing his torso. The man is so sickeningly thin, bones pressing against his skin, begging to escape. Jeongin tears at him, ripping off the skin and feeding on it. He slurps the strips like they’re thick noodles. He chokes, forgetting to chew.
Jeongin doesn’t care for bones, breaking them away and tossing them somewhere into the alley. He finds the man’s heart and bites into it, blood squirting in different directions and dirtying himself more. It doesn’t stop him, nothing will at this point.
Jeongin takes a bite of everything, minus the skeletal system that he discarded. He hates the hard crunch, he wants something softer, gooey. He yanks out the man’s liver and feeds on it before moving on to the next thing he can get his hands on.
His vision begins to shake a little, stomach still turning from the smell of the man’s breath. It’s so dark, he’s colder now and a mess. There’s a strange man laying in front of him, missing his organs and surrounded by his white bones. Blood pools from behind his skull and his thigh. Fighting back the nausea, Jeongin moves on to his limbs to feed.
Maybe he should have listened to his stomach and paid attention to the way his eyes shook, because after finishing off the second bicep--still one thigh remaining unharmed--his stomach lurched.
Jeongin jerks away, mouthing salivating as he feels the rush of everything he just consumed running out his mouth, finding purchase right next to the man’s head. Viscera flies out of his mouth in chunks, splattering across the pavement.
When his body finally calms down, shudders still running through him, Jeongin has half a mind to fumble for his phone. His fingers are covered in the man’s blood, coating his phone in the mess. He tries cleaning them on his pants but it doesn’t help much. He finds Hyunjin’s contact, pressing the button to call.
“Hey! Are you almost home?” Hyunjin immediately answers. Of course he’s waiting for Jeongin.
Jeongin wants to hit himself but he doesn’t, rubbing his hands on the man’s clothing that isn’t destroyed--ridding himself of his mistake.
“Hyung, I fucked up.” Jeongin’s voice is strained, probably from vomiting. “I-I don’t know where I am. I need your help. I’m cold--I-I--”
Jeongin can hear Hyunjin moving on the other side of the line, rushing to dress himself. “Send me your location, I’m on my way.”
“I’m-- I don’t think I’m too far from home--” Jeongin hunches over, groaning. His mouth starts salivating again, stomach rejecting its contents. “I ate too much, I think.”
“Send me your location.” Hyunjin reminds him, apartment door slamming in the background.
Jeongin does as he’s instructed, screen barely visible from all the bloody thumbprints, but he is still able to let Hyunjin know where he is.
“Please don’t end the call, I’m alone in an alley with a corpse.”
Hyunjin is quiet on the other end of the line and it sends Jeongin’s mind into overdrive. This is it--this is what scares him off. This was the final straw.
“You ate a random person? On the street?”
“Um,” Jeongin glances at the dead body, his vomit mixing with the blood. “Not necessarily.”
“You’re not too far. I’ll be there in fifteen.”
“Okay.” Jeongin’s body temperature confuses him, cold but sweaty under his clothes. He’ll need a new coat, he should’ve taken it off, but when did he have the opportunity for it?
When Hyunjin rounds the corner and spots Jeongin, Jeongin wants to crawl to him and beg for forgiveness. As Hyunjin grows closer, Jeongin is about to start crying, pleading for Hyunjin to not be upset with him. He’s not a monster, he promises.
Jeongin’s on his knees, fingers clasped around the edges of Hyunjin’s open coat. He’s still in his pj’s, wearing Jeongin’s sweatpants. Hyunjin studies his face, hand caressing his still sticky cheeks. His thumb brushes the bust in his lip, blending in with the gore that decorates his face.
“I’m sorry, hyung. I really-- I don’t know what got into me--” Jeongin chokes out, tears threatening to spill. “He followed me-- I didn’t think he would, but he did--he--he--”
Though, Hyunjin sees the mess. He smells the blood and vomit. He sees the stranger’s face, staring too long.
“Is that…?” Hyunjin’s eyes dart from body to Jeongin then back to the body. He comes back to Jeongin, kneeling to be eye level. “Did he hurt you? Is that the man from the train?”
Jeongin nods, tears making his face more wet. They run into Hyunjin’s hands that continue to hold him.
“He told me someone paid him to-to find pretty boys. That someone wanted to eat us.”
“Us specifically?”
“N-no, just anyone. I think.” Jeongin’s shoulders shake--from crying, the cold, vomiting--he can’t tell. “I’m sorry. I was still so angry from when he bothered you. I lured him here to do something. I didn’t think I--”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Hyunjin reassures him, brushing away the tears from his cheeks. “We’ll just go home and get cleaned up, like we usually do.”
“And just leave him here? What if they figure out it’s me? Won’t something happen?”
“He’s a smuggler, they’ll sum it up to him finding the wrong prey. Countless bodies are found in alleyways. What do you think KorDead will do?”
Jeongin immediately thinks back to when he found Felix and Jisung that one time. Then back to when Hyunjin threw out their files to avoid them getting hurt. If they zero in on Jeongin, Hyunjin will destroy the file. Or pay someone to get rid of it.
Jeongin gulps then nods. “Okay, we’ll go home.”
Hyunjin pats his cheeks, standing and leaving his hands out for Jeongin to lift himself up with assistance. Jeongin’s knees are weak, his stomach feeling mostly normal. He feels so goddamn heavy.
Hyunjin intertwines their fingers, never minding the horror. They make their way out of the alley then to the street.
“We may need to look into you getting a muzzle.”
“Hyung.” Jeongin groans. “Not the time for jokes.” Though, he did have to admit it was a bit funny. And it helped alleviate some stress about his previous situation.
“After that, it’s more like a precaution. How does my sweet baby have the power to do that?”
Jeongin can feel the swarm of blood rushing through him, rushing to his face to make him blush. Thing is, he can feel it all over this time--it’s crowding him in.
“I’m your baby?” Jeongin mumbles, head hanging, the stranger mostly gone from his mind. He doesn't have a mask with him so he keeps his head low to avoid being spotted with remains on his face. And to also hide the way his lips are twitching, smile teasing his lips.
“I’m yours and you're mine… Right?” Hyunjin steps falter, turning toward Jeongin for confirmation.
Jeongin looks up--people witnessing his face be damned--and sees the hesitation in Hyunjin’s features.
“Right. We belong to each other.” Jeongin kisses the back of Hyunjin’s hand, blood from Jeongin’s busted lip sealing their fate in the form of a kiss mark.
Jeongin doesn't miss the way Hyunjin's face turns red, now his head hanging to hide as they resume walking. He holds Jeongin's hand with both of his own for the rest of the walk home.
“Hold still.” Hyunjin reminds him, holding Jeongin’s jaw firm in his grasp.
Jeongin breathes hard through his nose, not even bothering to respond after being scolded so many times by Hyunjin in one sitting.
Hyunjin cleans the wound on his lip once more, the peroxide stinging Jeongin. He grips the island counter.
Hyunjin brought out their first aid kit and needles, thinking he’d have to sew Jeongin’s lip from how intense the bottom portion of Jeongin’s face was. After cleaning off the remains, Jeongin only had a small cut. Both of them let out a sigh of relief; Jeongin didn’t have the heart to break it to Hyunjin that he has a fear of needles.
“Call out of work tomorrow. Maybe don't talk either.”
Jeongin frowns, reopening the wound.
“No facial expressions actually. Be a stone and be quiet.” Hyunjin pats dry what will scab over. Then impulsively leans in, kissing Jeongin’s cheek.
“Let’s go get ready for bed, Innie.”
Jeongin’s holding his phone, scrolling through his schedule for the next week. His hours are never too crazy, with the shop opening at ten and closing at six. It’s usually him and Chan, him and Minho, or Chan and Minho. On Fridays and Saturdays, it’s the three of them. Minho still begs for a store cat, saying it’ll boost moral and bring an increase of customers. Chan looks closer and closer to folding, letting Minho adopt a cat.
That’s just his right hand holding his phone though. His left hand is running through Hyunjin’s hair while he watches TV. Jeongin isn’t really paying attention to it, only wanted to be in Hyunjin’s company.
Hyunjin’s head rests in his lap, a puddle of heat formed below his head that powerhouses the rest of Jeongin’s body.
Jeongin loses focus on his schedule, wondering if he read anything in any articles about the heat regulation in the bodies of those with the virus. He doesn’t believe he’s seen any mention about his everlasting chill either.
“Jeonginnie.”
Jeongin snaps out of his thoughts, putting his phone aside to see Hyunjin looking up at him. His eyes are so gentle, lips in a light pout. Hyunjin’s hands reach for Jeongin’s hand that’s playing with his hair, playing with his fingers.
“I think…” Hyunjin licks his lips, Jeongin follows the movement before refocusing on his eyes. “I want to try…it.”
Jeongin’s brows pinch together in confusion. “It?”
“Eating…human meat.”
It finally clicks for Jeongin, fingers wrapping around Hyunjin’s own hands. “Oh. Did you, um--do we have anything?”
Hyunjin nods, rising from his laying position and moving Jeongin’s hand aside. Jeongin misses his close proximity as he clicks a few buttons on the table top and departs from the couch. “I got something earlier. I don’t know how long it lasts. I don’t really know anything and I get scared about asking the guy a question.”
“To be fair…I’m just as clueless,” Jeongin reassures Hyunjin, watching him depart to his room for a moment to return with a glass tupperware container, much like the one Jeongin destroyed some time ago.
The container is halfway full with blood, sloshing around as Hyunjin brings it closer and sits next to Jeongin. They should do this in the kitchen or the floor at the very least. They both know this, but neither suggest it.
“Would you mind taking the first bite?” Hyunjin asks as he opens the container, lid popping open and the rich scent rolling out. Jeongin mumbles a form of acknowledgment. Hyunjin slides him the container.
Jeongin is about to reach in and pick up the slab of meat that’s been diced up into small biteable chunks when he pauses to remove his sweater. He’s ruined enough of his clothes and he adores this sweatshirt. He’d rather not have it stained and trashed.
Sweater removed and tossed aside, Jeongin gingerly picks up the first piece. Coagulated blood hangs from it, dripping as he brings it to his lips. He catches Hyunjin watching him like always. Once it’s in his mouth, he chews and extends his hand to test his boundaries. Hyunjin’s eyes follow the blood coated fingers approach him and opens his mouth when they’re close enough.
When Hyunjin’s lips close around Jeongin’s fingers and suck, Jeongin’s mouth slacks in a silent gasp.
Jeongin has felt his lips in fleeting moments. He wishes with everything in him that he knew more about how his infection spreads and how it doesn’t. Part of him craves to smear blood across Hyunjin and lick it off, make Hyunjin whimper and beg. Another more powerful part of Jeongin wants Hyunjin to kiss him after he feeds, them exchanging blood between each and every kiss. Covering each other in a tangible form of adoration, of love. Desirable even when frightening.
Jeongin pulls his fingers free, picking up another piece to feed to Hyunjin. His love is breathing heavy from his nose as his lips wrap around the meat, sucking on its juices. Jeongin lightly taps it in, Hyunjin kissing his fingertips. Hyunjin chews it, glancing down to find another piece. Jeongin’s hand falls to rest on the side of his neck while he watches Hyunjin swallow.
“What do you think?”
“It’s definitely something new. Tastes like uncooked veal.” Hyunjin’s hand is red, holding a considerably larger piece. He sinks his teeth into it, ripping it halfway down the middle, and chews. He holds it out to Jeongin, who leans in and does the same. With the meat still in his mouth, Jeongin grips Hyunjin’s wrist, bringing his bloody hand to his mouth. Jeongin holds a steady gaze with Hyunjin as he licks from the palm to his fingers, sucking them into his mouth.
“Innie,” Hyunjin’s voice sounds so faint, already strung out. His words are barely above a whisper. “You’re making a mess.”
“I don’t care if you don’t.” Jeongin looks over Hyunjin; there’s blood smeared on his face, neck, and wrist that Jeongin’s holding on to. “Please, Jinnie. Tell me you want this, too. If you don’t, we can finish eating and clean up.”
“I do, but we can’t kiss--”
“On the lips.” Jeongin scoots closer, moving the tupperware to the table. “We can still do other things.”
Hyunjin nods, eyelids heavy as he looks over Jeongin. “You’re too clean for my liking. Take off your shirt and lay down.”
Jeongin obliges, flat on his back with his legs on either side of Hyunjin. The shirt forgotten somewhere on the floor. Hyunjin reaches into the tupperware, pulling out a piece. He leans over Jeongin, free hand pressing into the cushion next to his head, and teases the meat around Jeongin’s lips. Hyunjin coats Jeongin’s chin and makes multiple lines on his neck. Jeongin can feel it dripping down the sides, ruining their couch.
Hyunjin brings it back to his mouth and lets him eat it, chewing and swallowing as Hyunjin makes his way down. He kisses the trail he made for himself, licking and sucking Jeongin’s skin. Jeongin was feeling the beginning stages of arousal from watching and feeling Hyunjin suck his fingers moments ago, but now it’s stronger, coiling in his lower abdomen with each swipe from Hyunjin’s tongue.
Jeongin’s eyes fight to stay open as Hyunjin kisses down his neck and across his collarbones, sucking gently before biting his shoulder. Jeongin’s legs jerk from instinct, gripping Hyunjin hard as his teeth hold Jeongin’s skin and muscles. The coils in him tighten as Hyunjin fidgets above him, unintentionally rubbing against his crotch and starting a flame. Jeongin can feel Hyunjin through his pj shorts.
Hyunjin releases Jeongin, pulling back and he looks crazed with red on his face and eyes blown. God, it only makes Jeongin want to kiss him more, but he can’t. Instead, he grips Hyunjin’s waist and raises his hips ever so slightly, rubbing himself against Hyunjin.
“Innie,” Hyunjin gasps, bloodied hand falling to his shoulder to steady himself. “You’re making this harder.”
He returns the action, grinding down on Jeongin. With the sting of the bite and the sight of Hyunjin on him, he can feel himself filling out his briefs more. Hyunjin readjusts himself, their cocks now rubbing together.
Jeongin whines, wanting Hyunjin closer, wants to bite--
No. No, no, no. He has to behave.
Jeongin’s brought out of his small predicament when Hyunjin circles his left nipple with blood from the tupperware container. They find each other’s eyes as he leans down, tongue flicking the bud. Jeongin inhales through his teeth, hips jerking as his grip tightens. Hyunjin whimpers into his skin before he bites and sucks Jeongin’s red skin. Hyunjin’s other hand reaches Jeongin’s abandoned nipple and plays with it, twisting and flicking it.
“Hyung,” Jeongin chokes out, eyes closing as he continues to grind his hips against Hyunjin. He can feel him--every inch. He knows Hyunjin would feel great in him; knows he’d feel great if Jeongin were in him. He needs him, every piece, every drop. Jeongin needs him in him. He needs to bite--
Jeongin, scared of his own thoughts, brings his forearm to his mouth and bites. He can feel himself breaking his skin to satisfy the craving, the itch. He moans when he tastes iron, rutting against Hyunjin, but it’s not quite enough.
When Hyunjin pulls off, there’s no movement. Jeongin pulls his arm back and opens his eyes to see Hyunjin sitting in his lap still, eyes wide with concern. Jeongin glances at his broken skin, red filling in the gaps his teeth left.
Both of their lengths are still hard as they breathe heavily in sync. Hyunjin’s head peeks out the side of his shorts, sitting comfortably by his thigh as precum dribbles out of him and stains Jeongin’s sweatpants.
Hyunjin takes a deep breath, chest shuddering. “Can I kiss you?”
Virus be damned.
“Please.”
Jeongin has felt Hyunjin’s lips before, literally felt them on his nipple moments ago, on his neck, his collarbones, and his fingers. None of them compare to the way they feel on his lips. Softer against his own. Hyunjin briefly pulls back, but Jeongin yanks him back in, fingers ripping his shirt as he keeps pulling and pulling him closer, inevitably ridding Hyunjin of his ruined shirt.
Hyunjin is forced to depart, tossing his shirt aside before diving back in. Jeongin’s mouth is open, licking Hyunjin’s top lip and teeth then brings him closer. His fingers dig into Hyunjin’s ribs, making him groan in painful pleasure as Hyunjin’s hips jerk. Hyunjin closes his lips around Jeongin’s tongue, holding it between his lips, and sucks. The sensation emits a low moan from Jeongin, hips never parting or stopping in movement.
Hyunjin releases Jeongin’s tongue, his own going in to lick Jeongin’s teeth, finding each crevice and making himself known. Blood mixes in with their saliva as tongues twist on one another, grazing the roof of Jeongin’s mouth.
“Wanna see you, feel you,” Jeongin mumbles against Hyunjin’s lips, desperately ignoring the itch. His hands travel lower to Hyunjin’s ass, clawing at his shorts that are already taut against his cheeks.
“I wanna see you too, baby.” Hyunjin kisses down his neck again, the red turning pink. He moans into Jeongin’s flesh as Jeongin presses their bottoms together if they can even be any closer. Jeongin can hear him panting, thrusting to feel more friction.
Jeongin can’t at the pet name, not anticipating it at all as a whimper crawls out of him. “Hyung, please, I-” He juts his hips harder, brain turning to mush.
Hyunjin gasps, hips returning the action before he finally rises, kicking off his shorts. Jeongin looks down at himself, a wet spot formed on his sweats from his length. He kicks them off too before Hyunjin rejoins him on the couch, easily slotting in against him like before. Like he always has.
Hyunjin is his, all his. And he is Hyunjin’s, all his.
They let out a uniform sigh as their cocks make skin-to-skin contact. Hyunjin rests one arm on the back of the couch as he spoons a handful from the tupperware, slicking up both their cocks and painting themselves red.
Jeongin can’t pull his eyes away from it, the way Hyunjin’s red fingers barely wrap around the both of them. With a shaking hand, Jeongin wraps around the other side to hold them together. Their precum and the blood are unbelievably sticky, with brief moments of their cocks sticking together as they thrust into their fists, chasing their close orgasms. Their moans and whines overpower the sounds of their thrusts, filling their apartment with their noises.
The coil in Jeongin is so tight, the itch so unbearably strong. He whips his other unmarked arm around, teeth in his skin again, biting as he feels Hyunjin spurt across his chest. He can hear Hyunjin gasping, hips jerking a few times but whimpering from Jeongin’s tight grasp as he continues to thrust.
Jeongin finally reaches his climax, cum joining the mess on his abdomen. The coil loosens itself until it disappears. Jeongin releases his arm from his teeth and Hyunjin’s cock from his hold.
Jeongin’s energy is mostly nonexistent, but he sees Hyunjin has propped himself against the back of the couch, panting heavily. Probably just as lightheaded as Jeongin.
Jeongin pulls Hyunjin’s arm down, making him fall into his chest. The cum and blood will stick them together like glue.
Hyunjin nuzzles into him, head slotting next to Jeongin’s. Jeongin’s struggling to breathe, his arms are bleeding, but he needs Hyunjin to touch him--he needs him as close as possible. He needs him under his skin. He needs to bite him, mark him, eat him. Jeongin can’t--so he holds him until his back pops and massages out the tension from his shoulders. He smells his skin, taking in what he can of him.
“We need to shower. And clean. And maybe get a new couch.” Hyunjin mumbles against Jeongin’s ear, barely audible as his fingers find Jeongin’s scalp and he plays with the strands.
“We will, I promise. We will.”
Hyunjin hums, about to fall asleep on top of Jeongin. They can’t fall asleep like this here, bloody and sticky. He can’t carry them both to the bathroom right now though, so maybe they will fall asleep like this and regret it when they wake up stuck together.
The water in the tub is pink around them, with bubbles swirling around them. They had washed themselves, now relaxing in the murky water. Jeongin’s arms stopped burning a while ago from the water and soap getting into his wounds. He’s marked up, thanks to Hyunjin and himself.
Jeongin leans his head back against Hyunjin’s shoulder, the older’s hand rubbing against his chest and thighs. It’s supposed to be soothing, but Jeongin can feel the familiar stirs in him. The itch isn’t as strong, so it’s Jeongin and his want, his pull, his yearning for Hyunjin. It doesn’t help that Hyunjin’s kissing along the column of his neck, hand dangerously close to his still sensitive length.
Jeongin whines, head turning to rub his nose against Hyunjin’s neck, kissing the skin. He holds back the itch. He can’t get enough of Hyunjin--can’t get close enough to him without needing more to settle him. Hyunjin’s hand grazes his length, twitching under the water.
“Hyung.” Jeongin whimpers against Hyunjin’s neck.
“Do you want me to stop?” Hyunjin whispers, hands retreating to appropriate places, waiting for Jeongin’s response.
Jeongin shakes his head, “No. Need you.”
Hyunjin takes in a sharp breath, turning to kiss Jeongin’s lips before settling under the water. They’ll be prunes by the time Hyunjin’s done with Jeongin. It doesn’t matter--Jeongin believes he deserves this, no matter how much he wants to rip Hyunjin apart.
Hyunjin’s hands grope his chest and thigh, the one on his thigh massaging the muscle as it inches closer and closer yet avoiding where Jeongin needs attention most. The hand on his chest does the same, dancing around his nipples and kneading into the muscle. It makes Jeongin squirm, the water in the tub sloshing side to side as he tries to lean more into Hyunjin, into his touch.
Jeongin eases down a little, gasping lightly when Hyunjin pinches his nipple, twisting it. His other hand deeper into the water, grazing Jeongin’s length, toying with his head and foreskin. Jeongin feels Hyunjin’s fingers run along his length, not entirely grasping it while his other hand continues to torture his bud.
Jeongin likes Hyunjin’s juxtaposition of soft and aggressive touches, keeping him guessing as he gives him what he craves so deeply.
When Hyunjin’s fingers wrap around Jeongin, he also resumes assaulting his neck, switching between biting and licking the marks to kissing and sucking. It makes Jeongin’s toes curl; Hyunjin’s index and thumb circle his head as he gingerly jerks him off. Jeongin can feel Hyunjin pressing into his back so he attempts snaking his hand around, but Hyunjin stops him, using the hand that was holding his chest.
“N-Not yet. Just you right now. Worry about me later.” Hyunjin tells him, working Jeongin’s arm back to his front. He continues moving his hand along Jeongin, pulling shuddering breaths out of him. “Wanna make you feel good, baby. Wanted to do this for so long.”
“Hyung needs to feel good too,” Jeongin whines yet complies as he settles, body shaking lightly.
“I will--later,” Hyunjin whispers into his skin, never letting up.
“Wanna taste you--” Double meaning in Jeongin’s words--only one acceptable. When they kissed for the first time, Jeongin had his blood in his mouth as he had kissed Hyunjin. The virus is already swirling in Hyunjin’s body, changing him as they fool around in the tub. Jeongin could bite him right now, but it wouldn’t be the same untainted human meat they shared earlier.
“You will, baby, promise.”
Jeongin whimpers, feeling precum drip out of him and mixing in with the water. He’ll never get tired of hearing Hyunjin call him baby; of feeling him; being in his embrace. He’d destroy anyone that even thinks of taking Hyunjin away from him.
Jeongin jumps out of his thoughts, moaning as Hyunjin’s other hand finds his balls, fondling them. His other hand increases its rhythm ever so slightly, keeping the hot coils in Jeongin burning.
Hyunjin’s index presses into the head of Jeongin’s cock, emitting a long, high moan. Hyunjin presses a little harder, rubbing the slit with the pad of his finger. His other hand comes up to continue jerking off Jeongin. It hurts, but with Hyunjin’s face in his neck and the pleasure from his hand going up and down, it doesn’t matter. Hyunjin could stick needles in him and it’d still feel good.
Jeongin’s hips buck into Hyunjin’s hands when Hyunjin switches from his index finger to his pinky, it being able to slide with more ease into the slit from its size. Hyunjin works his other hand with more speed, encouraged by Jeongin unable to hold back his hips.
“So pretty.” Hyunjin bites into him, tightening his grip. Jeongin can feel tears daring to fall from his eyes so he closes them, water gathering at his lashes.
There’s a loss of contact from his head, almost causing Jeongin to beg for Hyunjin to continue pulling at the slit, maybe even beg for him to stretch it--then he feels his touch skittering deeper, past the softness of his inner thighs to where his hole is.
Now Jeongin is crying--he wants it, needs Hyunjin so much. In him, around him, with him. For them to fuse and never part.
Jeongin doesn’t have the energy to hold on longer as Hyunjin teases his rim, daring to enter as he presses against the muscle, and as he pulls at Jeongin’s cock.
“C-close, Hyunjinnie hyung. Can’t hold it.”
“S’okay, let it go.”
Jeongin does as instructed, cum spilling out of him into their already bath water. It’s so much, Hyunjin milking it out of him with each tug. Jeongin was already sensitive from earlier. With another orgasm under his belt, Hyunjin’s touch is way too overwhelming.
But Jeongin remembers.
“Hyung’s turn,” Jeongin slurs, pulling himself out of Hyunjin’s grasp (and immediately missing it). He steadies himself by holding on to the tub walls.
“You want to taste me, right?” Hyunjin asks, beginning to rise out of the water. His pale thighs glimmer before Jeongin, inviting him to kiss the flesh and grope it with much more strength than Hyunjin was using moments ago. Jeongin’s itch convinces him to bite, but he restrains himself by only nibbling.
“Innie, wait--don’t do that. I’ll cum in your hair if you don’t stop,” Hyunjin sounds too breathy, so light. Jeongin listens to him, pulling away for a brief second. Hyunjin holds the back of Jeongin’s head and his length. “I’ll cum in your mouth, okay?”
“Okay.” Jeongin opens his mouth, cock just barely touching his lips. He dares to extend his tongue to lap at the slit. Hyunjin’s hand in his hair tightens at the sensation, causing Jeongin to close his eyes, and then he quickly pumps himself.
Hyunjin’s cum arrives in spurts, shooting into Jeongin’s mouth and onto his cheeks. Some on his nose, his lashes. He swallows what's on his tongue before wrapping his mouth around Hyunjin’s head, grip holding on for dear life in his hair, and sucks. Jeongin feels Hyunjin’s thighs quivering under his hands.
Jeongin is about to start licking Hyunjin into oversensitivity when Hyunjin pushes him off, lowering himself into the water. Hyunjin wipes up the excess cum on Jeongin’s face and feeds it to him, Jeongin licking his fingers clean. Then Jeongin feels Hyunjin’s lips on his, open-mouthed as their tongues slither against each other and swap Hyunjin’s cum between their mouths.
Jeongin brings Hyunjin chest to chest with him, hands going low as he holds Hyunjin’s cheeks, squeezing. He’s about to move his lips along his chin, jaw, neck, and chest when he feels the ache in him. The tiredness. Yet part of him isn’t fulfilled, and might never be.
Instead, Jeongin presses on kiss to Hyunjin’s equally tired lips. He looks over his hyung, his so sleepy hyung. Hyunjin looks like he’s about to fall asleep sitting up.
“Do you think we need to get cleaned again? We’re in bloody, cummy bath water.”
“Tomorrow. Sleep.” Hyunjin moves Jeongin’s hands higher to rest on his lower back then he rubs his eyes. “My room.”
Jeongin laughs, kissing Hyunjin one more time on his lips. “Okay, your room.”
Jeongin types in the URL Hyunjin sent him. They’re sitting in Hyunjin’s room; Jeongin is on the bed using his laptop while Hyunjin is at his desk and typing on the same website.
They’re both applying for Undead Subject cards.
Hyunjin had waited to suggest they apply, waiting a few months to make sure the man Jeongin attacked wasn’t ever connected to him. CCTV was down in the area near the out-of-business hair salon. It worked in Jeongin’s favor. Hyunjin had found a new job at a law firm, finally being able to quit KorDead. Hyunjin only listened to his dad yell at him a few times before he learned to ignore the calls.
The application process is pretty simple, only asking for basic information and an emergency contact.
“I’m putting you down as my contact,” Hyunjin says, hidden behind Jeongin’s laptop screen.
“Same.”
Usually, Jeongin would be stuck between putting Seungmin or Changbin, or both of them. He’d even consider Minho. But given the turn of his fate after emailing Hyunjin about the apartment and moving in, it’d always be Hyunjin.
Jeongin glances at the scars on his forearms, fingers running along them. Then to his shoulder where Hyunjin had bit him, teeth dug so deep he could’ve ripped off his skin. Hyunjin’s hunger and desire matched Jeongin’s when the virus settled in, and made itself home. It made them bare their teeth at each other, attempting to rip each other apart only to stitch the other back together, mixing up their pieces. Hyunjin with part of Jeongin; Jeongin with part of Hyunjin.
Jeongin wouldn’t trade it for anything else.