Work Text:
Sunlight shimmered on the soak rocks as the ocean rumbled beneath Ralph’s feet. The splash of water on the shore made him feel lively. He could consider himself restless. Maintaining order on the island was a difficult task, even more harsh without assistance. He brushed the overgrown bangs from falling into his eyes, gazing at the tranquil of the sunset. Ralph sighed.
The crunching of sand made it clear someone was walking towards him. Ralph shifted his gaze to see who it could’ve been. Jack. His hair flowed in the wind like flames, his freckles hid under the illuminating light. Ralph grinned when he saw the boy and his heart quivered.
He stood proudly, “I ordered everyone to sleep for you.”
Ralph was shocked by this. Jack hadn’t done acts of kindness like this before, let alone help anyone including himself. He assumed it was because of their argument from before. Ralph repressed the thoughts and replied, “Thank you.” The statement almost seemed as if it were a question, but the questioning part slowly faded away. “You told them we’re taking fire duty, right?”
Jack nodded, “Yes.” His face scrunched as he smiled.
“Let’s get going, then.” Ralph trotted near the direction of the mountain. Jack followed behind with a bright grin.
The pair chattered along the way. Jack spoke about how the boys said, ‘You’re not chief, though!’ And Ralph burst out laughing. The sounds of giggles and laughter made the conversations more pleasant. Jack would pause from laughing and gaze at Ralph as he snickered and chuckled. He just seemed so… Enlightening. His face grew hot and painted a pinkish shade of red.
Ralph perked, noticing Jack gazing at him and gave him a puzzled look, “What?” He blurted in confusion.
No. This is wrong. He shouldn’t feel this way. Jack’s father would be furious and would hate him. His eyebrows furrowed and he clutched his jaw, “Nothing. Go on.” He covered his mouth with his fist.
Ralph shrugged, not taking the cue of anger, “Okay.”
The two made their way out of the abundance of trees and noticed the fire on top streaming like a quick river. The fire almost casted out all the stars above and it surely illuminated the mountain. Taking in the sight, Ralph grinned. His hands flapped, looking as if they were just a blur. He faced Jack, his eyes squinting, “Race you to the top?”
Jack exchanged a smirk with him, “Sure.”
With that, Ralph flashed one last smile and bolted. Jack started running as well, but soon resorted to a jog. He did this not only because he was quick to be exhausted, but he wanted Ralph to win . This thought had always made him sick. Jack hated being anything below first even in simple and silly games like this. Why had he become so vulnerable like this? When he lost this race, he never felt upset. This was stupid. All of this stupid. Jack should really grow up and be a man following God’s ways. At least, that was what his father would say. The guilt behind this gaped a part of his heart and he wished wouldn’t feel this way.
Jack finally made his way to the top. Ralph nudged him with his elbow, “I win!” He chanted and laughed, “You had a good try at it, though.”
He scoffed, “What can I say, you’re a good runner.”
Ralph blushed at the compliment. He couldn’t tell if the comment had been laced with sarcasm, but it sounded sincere enough to him. He skimmed the ground for a moment. Ralph moved the bangs from his eyes once more and turned his look back to Jack. “The fire is still running. We should put it out.”
“Okay.”
Usually, this wasn’t so awkward. Like before, Jack and Ralph would have endless conversations. Each word knotted with thrill and enthusiasm, it hadn’t been this way before. Ralph stared at Jack as he threw a pile of dirt on the fire. The puffs of smoke slowly fading away. They haven’t been this quick to get the job done. Jack couldn’t have avoided speaking to Ralph, he was just talking to him not long ago. The worry made his heart sink, he never felt sympathetic to someone before. There was an urge to reach out to him and hug him. However, Ralph resisted.
“You’re quiet.” Ralph pointed out.
Jack hesitated before sitting down, “Oh. Sorry.” His face was still flushed with red.
Ralph took a seat across from him, his right foot bouncing. He bit his lip nervously, “Is there something… Wrong?”
Jack gritted his teeth in advance to reply, “Not all.”
“Okay.” He whispered under a husky breath.
His heart pounded heavily in chest. Jack despised how nervous felt. This is the most nervous he’s felt ever. Why can’t it just go away? His hands masked his face, his throat prickling. “Ralph, can I tell you something stupid?”
“What is it?”
It felt as if all eyes were on him. His father’s eyes, all the angels’ above eyes, and God’s eyes. He repressed those feelings. They weren’t here. None of them were. Why should it matter? He quickly swallowed in a breath and blurted, “I wish you were a girl, Ralph.”
Ralph’s heart fluttered and he flushed. Obviously, he was a bit lost on the saying. Why would he say something like that? Was it true that he truly liked him in that way? He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t muster up the words. He knew he had to say something. He couldn’t let himself stay silent like this, but it was hard to mutter up the words. What would he say anyway? Whatever he would say, it would’ve been silly and ridiculous. His lips pressed into a bitter and nervous smile. What else would he do?
Jack suddenly cupped Ralph’s cheeks and pressed his lips into his own. Ralph’s eyes bulged open, his heart quivering fast in his chest. He closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. This was sparking and he had never expected something like this to happen. It was wonderful. Jack broke away quickly and he frowned with shocked eyes.
“Wait! I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to do that. What the hell is wrong with me! Ralph, I’m sorry. You probably hate me for that.”
He remained silent, trying to process what had happened. Jack felt— no, he knew that he didn’t like that. He grimaced and gagged, he wanted to puke. He was extremely disgusted by his actions. He should’ve thought this through, this was wrong. He was wrong. He was sinister. What serpent tempted him to do this? What demon made him do this? He bounced back to his feet and bolted off. Ralph was still surprised, but then realized Jack was gone. He wanted to run off too, but realized he was already far gone.
“Jack! Don’t go. Please don’t go. Please. ” A gentle tear streamed his face. Why would he be crying over Jack Merridew? He never thought he would see himself crying over his friend.
He never thought he wouldn’t hear from him again.
Ralph sighed, pressing his forearm to hide his tears. When the tears had dried, he watched the stars dance in the night sky. He didn’t return to the shelters that night and stayed restless for the night.