Chapter Text
Email to: All staffers of The Star
Hello office,
Please join me in congratulating the new members of leadership for the fall semester.
Executive Editor: Seo Changbin (formerly Senior News Editor)
Managing Editor: Lee Minho (formerly Senior Copy Editor)
Changbin and Minho have served as exceptional leaders of The Star, and I can’t wait to see what we accomplish during our time in leadership together.
Selections for senior editors will take place next weekend.
Cheers,
Bang Chan
Editor-in-Chief
Email to: All staffers of The Star
Hello office,
Please join me in congratulating the new Board of Editors for the fall semester.
Content Editors:
Senior News Editor: Kim Seungmin
Senior Arts & Culture Editor: Han Jisung
Production Editors:
Senior Photo Editor: Hwang Hyunjin
Senior Design Editor: Lee Felix
Senior Copy Editor: Yang Jeongin
They have all served The Star exceptionally well, and I look forward to seeing what we can all accomplish this semester as a newsroom.
Cheers,
Bang Chan
Editor-in-Chief
Friday, Aug. 25
boardofeditors
Channel purpose: For the members of leadership and senior editors to communicate.
lee_minho: greetings, minions. hope you all had the summer you deserve. we will be resuming the production of our humble print newspaper in the office starting Sunday, so here is a refresher on the steps of our ~ production workflow ~ (TO BE READ IN FULL, OR ELSE):
- Article is submitted by writer (likely in abysmal condition)
- Senior content editor for that section fruitlessly attempts to rehabilitate article
- Executive editor reviews and leaves lots of probably useless comments
- If it’s a front page story, editor-in-chief reads next in a TIMELY MANNER
- Copy assistant or copy deputy editor does first copy read (primarily for fact-checking since our reporters are apparently incapable of writing a single accurate thing)
- Senior content editor attempts to resolve questions and comments from previous editing rounds
- Senior copy editor does second round of copy editing to prevent us from publicly humiliating ourselves with typos and stylistic errors
- Senior content editor does QUICK final review (read: does not agonize over whether to spontaneously rewrite entire article) and marks article as ready to lay
- When all articles for a particular page are marked ready to lay, managing editor (me, extremely talented and efficient) informs senior design editor
- Design team lays articles on page in InDesign and informs senior photo editor of the # and dimensions of photos needed for each article
- After page has been designed, senior content editor or appointed deputy editor writes headlines and photo captions (without taking a billion years to do so)
- Senior copy editor, EIC and managing editor will review the full page once complete
- Once all pages have been approved, they will be sent to the publisher (deadline: 1 a.m. sharp. The managing editor will not be fielding bitchy phone calls from the publisher if we submit late because you all can’t get your act together in time)
- Profit
bang_chan: I appreciate you pinning this to the channel for future reference, but were all the editorializing comments necessary?
↳ lee_minho: editorializing where? I was being as accurate as possible based on past experience
kim_seungmin: When has a student newspaper ever made a single cent of profit? Shouldn’t our goal just be avoiding total financial ruin
↳ lee_minho: no think bigger we need to infiltrate the university’s budget committee and reappropriate all funds for The Star
↳ bang_chan: I really hope our Slack messages never get subpoenaed
han_jisung: damn did u have to write out our titles instead of just using our names? it feels so impersonal when you say “senior content editor” instead of “jisung my favorite person in this news organization and the utter light of my life”
↳ lee_minho: @bang_chan see this is what editorializing looks like
yang_jeongin: I’m not reading all that but good for you or sorry that happened I guess
↳ lee_minho: I raised you up from hell to be my copy successor and I can send you right back whence you came
Sunday, Aug. 27
triumvirate
Channel purpose: For the three members of leadership (Editor in Chief, Managing Editor, Executive Editor) to communicate.
bang_chan: Heyya, just wanted to touch base before tonight to see how you’re both feeling
lee_minho: feeling?? how odd! I thought Changbin was the office therapist
seo_changbin: Yes I am thank you
seo_changbin: We won’t really know until production actually starts for the week but fingers crossed we get enough articles to fill up the whole paper lol
lee_minho: if not we can just put in giant full-page pictures to pad it out
bang_chan: I sincerely hope that’s a joke
lee_minho: you’ll never know
bang_chan: Haha seriously though how are you feeling about the production side of things? Everything looking good?
lee_minho: prod is fine. Felix only has a couple returning design staffers so we might be a little short-staffed there until we get new hires but photo and copy are looking decent
lee_minho: my copy babies know if they tried to quit this newspaper I would track them down and curse their descendants for eight generations
seo_changbin: Or they just like working here with you and Jeongin?
lee_minho: strange
bang_chan: What about the content side?
seo_changbin: I think most of the good News writers are returning for the semester. Some of the Arts & Culture writers are a bit flakier so Jisung is a little frazzled but no more so than usual
bang_chan: Frazzled like he’s gonna need space and quiet while working or frazzled like he’s going to be singing at the top of his lungs and eating sugar packets for dinner?
seo_changbin: I guess we’ll find out in a few hours
lee_minho: Jisung is already aware that I will be monitoring his sugar packet consumption and forcing him to eat real food this semester
bang_chan: Love how well you take care of the kids ❤️
lee_minho: I’m setting rats free in your office as we speak
seo_changbin: I’m scared but I have to respect the multitasking ngl
boardofeditors
bang_chan: @channel Can’t wait to see you all tonight for the start of the first week of prod!
lee_minho: friendly reminder that as managing editor I am in charge of the playlist. anyone offering unsolicited song recs or criticisms will be defenestrated
↳ hwang_hyunjin: okay I sense I’m being threatened but someone tell me what this means?
↳ yang_jeongin: he’ll throw you out the window
↳ han_jisung: sorry which part of this is friendly?!
↳ lee_minho: I’ll give you a little pat on the head before I push you out the window
↳ han_jisung: ok sounds kinda nice tbh
kim_seungmin: Sorry but are we all supposed to just grin and bear it as you’re blasting the Cats movie soundtrack while we’re trying to work?
↳ yang_jeongin: the more you express your hatred for it the more he’s going to play it
↳ lee_minho: wear some padding tonight to break your fall, Kim Seungmin
lee_felix: when are we getting our office keys??
bang_chan: Not sure what you mean? I gave you yours last week
lee_felix: oh shit
hwang_hyunjin: hahahaha did you lose it already
han_jisung: awwww lixie we can share my key!
lee_minho: check the front pocket of your backpack
seo_changbin: How could you possibly know that????
lee_minho: I have a psychic connection to my prod babies
↳ han_jisung: what about meeeeee, ur fave honorary prod editor
↳ lee_minho: idk if I can look past your core identity as a content editor. yuck
↳ bang_chan: Please don’t disparage half of the newsroom just because you’re on the production side of things! At the end of the day we’re all just one big family
↳ lee_minho: how do you type such humiliating cliches without physically recoiling
↳ bang_chan: I just really care about this organization and all my staffers!
↳ lee_minho: yuck x 100 million
lee_felix: OMG I FOUND MY KEY
yang_jeongin: damn now I feel dumb for doubting the prod psychic network
lee_minho: I hope now you’ll all think twice before trying to slip anything past me this semester. I See Everything.
hwang_hyunjin: well this has been a terrifying way to kick off the semester
seo_changbin: See you all tonight lmao
lee_minho > bang_chan
lee_minho: hello Christopher
bang_chan: Should I be scared?
lee_minho: only if you don’t comply
bang_chan: Oh?
lee_minho: since we are all in pursuit of a healthy work-life balance this semester and I know you have never encountered such a concept in your entire life, allow me to break it down for you
lee_minho: in past semesters the children have run rampant without anyone setting healthy boundaries but going forward we will be 1) enforcing a Slack curfew whereby people do not message in official channels about work things after production hours 2) evicting everyone from the office at the designated end of prod hours, and 3) wrangling Han Jisung
bang_chan: Woah okay haha yeah this makes sense
bang_chan: How exactly do you plan to wrangle Jisung?
lee_minho: I know he likes to edit articles at random times when he “feels most inspired” but I have informed him that will not translate to him sending over work for other people at those random hours so they feel obligated to do it outside of production
lee_minho: I have already discussed this with him and set up an incentive system of free food for good behavior
bang_chan: So you can enforce strict prod hours and make sure he eats regularly? Very sly, I must say
lee_minho: mhm
lee_minho: oh I forgot to say I will also be implementing another new system via a spray bottle on my desk
bang_chan: For?
lee_minho: for anyone in the office promoting undesirable lifestyle traits, i.e., sleep deprivation, neglecting academics, overworking themselves, forgetting to eat, etc.
bang_chan: That sounds a bit targeted haha
lee_minho: then I suggest you clean up your act
bang_chan: Sir yes sir
bang_chan > seo_changbin
bang_chan: Do you ever think about how authority can be so attractive on someone haha
seo_changbin: If this is your way of hitting on me I do feel the need to inform you that despite us always being together for newspaper reasons I just don’t see a future for us like that
seo_changbin: You may be my editor-in-chief but that’s all you’ll ever be I’m afraid
bang_chan: Duuude stop trolling me I’m seriousssss
seo_changbin: Yeah you are seriousssssly obsessed with your managing editor
seo_changbin: I don’t know how you’re going to get a single thing done this semester if you’re this riled up by a few light threats
bang_chan: How did you know he just threatened me??
seo_changbin: HAH so he did? You are so predictable it’s getting a little sad
bang_chan: Rude!!
seo_changbin: Don’t forget I was there to bear witness in your deputy editor days when he stormed up to the news desk as a mere copy assistant to drag you for filth over a grammatically incorrect caption
bang_chan: He’s so pretty when he’s passionate about something
seo_changbin: He’s going to be passionately digging your grave if you don’t get it together man
seo_changbin: Pretty sure he keeps a shovel in one of his desk drawers
bang_chan: Actually he has a hammer and her name is Dori Jr. after one of his cats
seo_changbin: You’re way past help I fear
Monday, Aug. 28
boardofeditors
han_jisung: ok don’t come for me this is a serious question
bang_chan: No, you can’t use the office to host a turtle race
han_jisung: that’s not what i was gonna ask!!
han_jisung: not after i was so cruelly shot down last time
han_jisung: although i do think we should get an office pet
lee_minho: we already have one. his name is Kim Seungmin
kim_seungmin: Woof
lee_minho: ick
bang_chan: Can we please refrain from using this channel for nonofficial purposes? That’s what the fun stuff channel is for
yang_jeongin: no one is going to use a channel you named “fun stuff”
yang_jeongin: that has major narc energy
lee_felix: i use it all the time!
kim_seungmin: Yeah and there’s a reason no one responds
lee_felix: :(
han_jisung: don’t be sad felix! just try sending things that are actually funny
han_jisung: anyway to all my doubters out there named christopher bang i DID actually have a question for official purposes
han_jisung: what do i do if one of my columnists mildly plagiarized their entire article
lee_minho: you send someone to assassinate them for trying to besmirch the good name of this trusted college news organization
bang_chan: What do you mean mildly?!
han_jisung: idk just some mild or maybe medium plagiarism
seo_changbin: Why are you categorizing plagiarism like hot sauces
yang_jeongin: I want to know what spicy plagiarism would be like
kim_seungmin: That sounds like the name of one of those weird bands Arts & Culture always writes about
hwang_hyunjin: didn’t I send one of my photographers to their concert for an article last semester??
han_jisung: first of all that is Offensive to me and all of arts n culture
bang_chan: Jisung and Changbin, please come to my office to discuss the columnist situation
seo_changbin: On it, boss
han_jisung: ALL OF YOU STOP OOHING AT ME LIKE IVE BEEN CALLED TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE IM GETTING WEIRD LOOKS FROM ALL THE JUNIOR STAFFERS
kim_seungmin: I like when Chan says “my office” like it’s not the size and aesthetic of a dog kennel
lee_minho: where else are we going to put our dear editor-in-chief come the full moon
hwang_hyunjin: can someone help me fix my computer?? Photoshop keeps freezing
yang_jeongin: you’re sitting like three seats over from the tech director just ask her
hwang_hyunjin: nooooooo I can’t
hwang_hyunjin: she’s still mad at me after that one time I gave the whole office computer network a virus
yang_jeongin: that was you?????
lee_felix: it’s not ur fault hyunjin!!! that email looked legit i would’ve clicked the link too
kim_seungmin: You mean the one that said you were eligible to win a free iPad?
hwang_hyunjin: yeah :( and I didn’t even win!
lee_minho: I am seeing lots of chatter here and yet zero articles have progressed through the editorial channel in the last hour...very interesting
hwang_hyunjin: Minhoooo help meeeee
lee_minho: what’s in it for me
hwang_hyunjin: your job as managing editor: tending to the emotional well-being of the production team
me: the most important production editor!!
lee_minho: false. my job description is to make sure a newspaper is produced. nowhere does it say my production editors have to be emotionally well
lee_minho: I made sure of that in the fine print
yang_jeongin: tf do you mean you’re the most important part of production???? this paper would crumble to the ground without the copy section
hwang_hyunjin: no one is looking at the stupid words to see if there’s grammar mistakes!! it’s the photos that are drawing the eye duh
lee_felix: nooo the design section is the best bc we have cute brunch dates <3
kim_seungmin: Also you literally design the entire newspaper?
lee_felix: oh ya ya that too i guess!
lee_minho: Hyunjin you know my price if you want tech help
kim_seungmin: Pretty sure the HR director just sent out another email about inappropriate workplace conduct. Maybe you should read it
lee_minho: no one needs to know if we do it in the privacy of Chan’s office
bang_chan: Please stop offering up my office as a butt-slapping location
lee_minho: what is your little broom closet even there for if not to serve my purposes
seo_changbin: If we’re airing grievances rn I wanna know why only Minho is allowed to use Chan’s minifridge
bang_chan: He filled it with pudding cups and bites anyone who tries to take them out! What am I supposed to do!
seo_changbin: We need an EIC with some BACKBONE
bang_chan: I’d like to see you try saying no to Minho when he is threatening to shut down production!!
seo_changbin: On second thought I’ll stay right where I am as executive editor
lee_felix: shut down production??!? but then how will the newspaper get made
yang_jeongin: yeah what will The Star’s one (1) reader do without us
yang_jeongin: if I knew threatening to go on strike was on the table I would’ve done it long ago to get the emotional distress compensation I’m entitled to
han_jisung: oh noooo why is my lil jeonginnie in emotional distress?
yang_jeongin: bc every time one of the content editors (Han Jisung) sends an article to copy with horrific grammatical errors I take 10 damage
han_jisung: hey hey hey woah kim seungmin is a content editor too!!
yang_jeongin: well the problem with news articles isn’t copy errors; it’s the antagonizing comments left by Kim Seungmin
seo_changbin: They can’t hurt you if you just delete them 💪
kim_seungmin: I know you keep telling yourself that but do you ever actually believe it?
seo_changbin: That’s none of your business, fiend
Tuesday, Aug. 29
boardofeditors
hwang_hyunjin: why did Minho just try to waterboard me for saying I got three hours of sleep last night?! I was just being honest and vulnerable
lee_minho: calm down, drama queen. it was just a light spray of water
han_jisung: lee minho has commenced an open season on night owls this semester bc he is a hater
yang_jeongin: can’t relate to your problems bc we in copy all like to maintain a healthy sleep schedule
hwang_hyunjin: why am I being punished for saying true facts about my life??
lee_minho: because you heathens insist on glorifying terrible habits in front of impressionable young staffers who want to grow up to be you one day and think that going to bed at 6 a.m. and eating frosting for dinner is the path that will take them there
han_jisung: frosting slander unprovoked
hwang_hyunjin: then why isn’t Chan constantly under attack???? he is the #1 perpetrator of bad habits in this newsroom
lee_minho: he has already been dealt with
han_jisung: yo someone check chan’s office i think he might be dead
kim_seungmin: Unfortunately not
bang_chan: Woah woah what do you mean unfortunately haha
lee_minho: Kim Seungmin has an unquenchable thirst for power
hwang_hyunjin: it’s true I’ve seen him spinning around in Chan’s chair with his hands steepled like a movie villain
lee_felix: damn i thought that was just bc chan’s chair is comfy
bang_chan: Wait when have you all just been sitting in my chair?
yang_jeongin: well it’s free whenever you’re sitting over by Minho’s desk twirling your hair or whatever you do
han_jisung: speaking of chairs i move that we remove all our boring office chairs and get beanbags instead
seo_changbin: Those can’t possibly be good for posture
han_jisung: ok ergonomic beanbag chairs then
kim_seungmin: Exactly what kind of budget do you think we’re working with?
bang_chan: Even if we had the money (we do not) I think we would have other financial priorities hahaha, sorry Jisung
lee_felix: rip the beanbags i was rooting for them too
lee_minho added yang_jeongin, lee_felix, and hwang_hyunjin to a private channel.
prodsquad
Channel purpose: For the editors of the production sections (Copy, Design, Photo) to communicate with the head of production (Managing Editor).
lee_minho: hello my prod children. this channel is for us to discuss any production things (comments, questions, concerns, complaints, etc) without the interference of content editors
hwang_hyunjin: oh yay! permission to complain about the content sections?
lee_minho: permission granted
hwang_hyunjin: I pulled a stock photo of the career center from our photo archives to run online with news’ story about...the career center...and the deputy news editor assigned to it slacked me to ask if I could send a photo assistant out to take “more creative shots”
hwang_hyunjin: what am I, made of photo assistants?? does she think photo assistants grow on trees???
lee_felix: oh but it would be cool if they did
yang_jeongin: this is a newspaper. what do we need creative pics for??
lee_minho: Kim Seungmin’s news deputies attempt to compensate for what they lack in competence with mountains of audacity
lee_minho: shall I have a friendly chat with them to set them on the right path?
hwang_hyunjin: as much as I know you’re looking for an opportunity to start a cold war with Seungmin...no lol
hwang_hyunjin: it’s fine! I gave her a sob story about how all my photo assistants have the bubonic plague and can’t take more photos of the career center
hwang_hyunjin: she asked to interview them for a story on that but by the time she has tracked them all down the career center story will have run and it’ll be too late
yang_jeongin: surely there was a more sensible way to approach this
hwang_hyunjin: no I don’t think so ❤️
lee_felix: i don’t have any complaints rn but look at this graphic one of my design assistants made!!
lee_felix: [1 image attached]
yang_jeongin: why is that the literal ugliest thing I’ve ever seen
hwang_hyunjin: oh ummm interesting
lee_minho: I love it. let’s run it on the front page tomorrow
lee_felix: LOL i don’t think it would go with any of the stories???
lee_minho: I don’t see how that’s relevant? it should have its own photo box across all columns at the very top of A1
hwang_hyunjin: I will QUIT if we run that on any page of The Star but especially the front page
lee_minho: legally you can’t do that because by becoming a prod editor you’ve entered a verbal contract under which you’re mine forever
lee_felix: cool
hwang_hyunjin: ?!
Wednesday, Aug. 30
lee_minho > han_jisung
lee_minho: where should we order food from tonight
han_jisung: ??? it’s wednesday
lee_minho: I didn’t know you’d learned how to read calendars! shall we throw a party in your honor?
han_jisung: first of all, rude. second of all, like...ya
han_jisung: in my defense we only ever order food in the office on thursdays!! how was i, a humble editor, supposed to know any other day was an option!
lee_minho: times change
han_jisung: suspicious
han_jisung: why r u asking me anyway?? you know way more restaurants than i do
lee_minho: well I would ask Changbin but he takes it way too seriously and I don’t like to give him the illusion of authority in this organization
han_jisung: u guys are literally on the same level of authority as managing and exec
lee_minho: in theory yes but in practice absolutely not
lee_minho: anyway I figured as A&C editor you would be able to accurately assess the culinary inclinations of the newsroom
han_jisung: u write a restaurant review one time as a freshman and suddenly ur expected to be the voice of the people…
han_jisung: wait a second i just saw that chan said in the boe channel he hasnt eaten all day
han_jisung: did u ask for my help with a hidden agenda of finding out what one christopher bang likes to eat?!
lee_minho is now offline.
han_jisung: damn ok then
han_jisung: can we order chicken tho
food
Channel purpose: For in-office staffers to give their food orders on Thursday production nights.
lee_minho: as tonight is our first official print night, we will be ordering food. here’s the menu: [link]. send me your orders by 7 p.m. or starve
↳ bang_chan: ??? It’s Wednesday tho?
↳ lee_minho: it’s truly wild how many people in this newsroom are only just learning how to read calendars and feel the need to share. first! official! print! night! we start laying print pages for A&C on Wednesday! we’re getting food! send me your order or STARVE
↳ bang_chan: Lol okay then! I don’t need anything though
↳ lee_minho: let me rephrase: send me your order or I will go on strike
↳ bang_chan: Hahahahaha very funny
han_jisung: why is there no chicken on this menu
yang_jeongin: can we get mcdonald’s instead
kim_seungmin: Finally, a reason to enjoy an A&C print night
↳ han_jisung: hey WOAH
↳ han_jisung: i’ll have you know we have a LOT of good articles for tonight
↳ kim_seungmin: No one wants to read another rant about a movie no one else has seen
↳ han_jisung: shooting me would hurt less
↳ hwang_hyunjin: just do what I do and don’t read them @kim_seungmin
↳ han_jisung: wow......................................
↳ han_jisung: @lee_minho help i’m being bullied
↳ lee_minho: stop bullying Jisung he has work to do
↳ han_jisung: ok not the rousing defense i was hoping for
triumvirate
bang_chan: Minho, Changbin tells me you’re watching lizard videos and refusing to review pages?
lee_minho: Changbin is a snitch and his sins will be rectified accordingly
lee_minho: but yes that’s correct. and it’s your fault
seo_changbin: Changbin is deeply fearful
bang_chan: How is it my fault?? I didn’t send you any lizard videos!
lee_minho: you should know your wrongdoing
bang_chan: ?!
bang_chan: Can you just tell me? Or like...review pages?
lee_minho: no and no
seo_changbin: He’s mad that you haven’t sent your dinner order
lee_minho: haven’t you heard what happens to snitches, Seo Changbin?
seo_changbin: Please I have a family
lee_minho: I’ll send them an email informing them of your demise
lee_minho: I’ll even publish a beautiful obituary for you in The Star because I’m nice like that
bang_chan: Ok ok just order me a burger please! Please stop threatening Changbin and go look at the pages
lee_minho: dealing with you is like herding cats
bang_chan: Is that a bad thing?
bang_chan: Minho?
seo_changbin > lee_minho
seo_changbin: You’ve secretly reviewed the pages already, haven’t you?
lee_minho: what do you take me for, some kind of slacker?
seo_changbin: Of course not. I know how hard you work at seeming like you’re not working hard
lee_minho: it’s not too late for me to cancel your dinner order
seo_changbin: DON’T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT
han_jisung added kim_seungmin, hwang_hyunjin, lee_felix, and yang_jeongin to a private channel.
nosupervision
Channel purpose: Chaos.
han_jisung: hello everyone we needed a channel free of tyranny
lee_felix: is anyone else kinda scared minho is going to sense the existence of this channel with his psychic prod powers
hwang_hyunjin: yes
yang_jeongin: yes
han_jisung: yes
kim_seungmin: Not really
lee_felix: ok word carry on
yang_jeongin: why is Chan having a meltdown in the distance while I’m trying to copy edit things
hwang_hyunjin: that’s Chan shrieking??? I thought someone let a bird into the office again
han_jisung: that was ONE time and it was an accident
lee_felix: why is he yelling tho
kim_seungmin: There was pineapple on his burger
yang_jeongin: is he allergic or something? why is this a national crisis
lee_felix: no he just really hates it LOL
han_jisung: i’m pretty sure minho ordered the pineapple on purpose to obscure the fact that he made us all order food tn so chan would eat dinner
kim_seungmin: Yes, and also for revenge after Chan said he wasn’t going to order anything
hwang_hyunjin: is food warfare something we all have to watch out for this semester???
yang_jeongin: Minho will never let you guess his next move
bang_chan > lee_minho
bang_chan: Thanks for dinner
lee_minho: ?
bang_chan: I guess I was hungrier than I realized haha
lee_minho: okay?
bang_chan: You’re secretly kind of a softie aren’t you
lee_minho: ???
bang_chan: Our newsroom tsundere :) so cute
lee_minho: if you approach me to do any aegyo right now I will kill myself in front of you and forever alter the course of your life
bang_chan: Damn ok then tough crowd hahaha
Thursday, Aug. 31
boardofeditors
lee_felix: does anyone know how to fix the printer
lee_felix: i’m trying to print pages and it’s not working :((((
yang_jeongin: have you tried asking the printer nicely
lee_felix: yes and i think it made her angrier
lee_minho: the printer can smell fear
hwang_hyunjin: is that true??
hwang_hyunjin: that can’t be true
seo_changbin: It definitely can
lee_felix: that does explain why it was working for minho earlier
han_jisung: we have a printer??? i thought we just had a fax machine
kim_seungmin: Since when do we have a fax machine?
han_jisung: idk it just turned on one day and now we get random faxes in the middle of the night
lee_minho: how would you know unless you’re in the office in the middle of the night, something you are absolutely not supposed to be doing?
han_jisung: uhhhhhhhh
han_jisung: my spidey senses just tingle from far away when we receive a fax
lee_felix: what kind of faxes are we receiving tho
han_jisung: mostly spam about like winning a free cruise to hawaii but we also got some hate mail by fax the other day which was kinda fun
bang_chan: Jisung, why didn’t you report that to me?
han_jisung: i reported it to minho!! we burned it in a ceremonial fire
lee_minho: it was very touching
hwang_hyunjin: but what did it say?????
lee_minho: it said they were jealous of us because we can actually string a sentence together without incident unlike them
han_jisung: lmao it actually saidjnr;lf,d cx.
yang_jeongin: did Jisung just get raptured
kim_seungmin: Minho wrestled Jisung’s laptop out of his hands
seo_changbin: Damn now we’ll never know what our haters think
lee_minho: back to work, minions
lee_felix: wait but the printer is still broken
lee_minho: no she’s not I fixed her
lee_felix: omg how?!
hwang_hyunjin: he threatened her in a really sweet voice
hwang_hyunjin: it was honestly very scary
hwang_hyunjin: but effective
triumvirate
bang_chan: Hate mail?
lee_minho: that doesn’t sound like the name of the A1 story I told you to read???
bang_chan: You should report stuff like that to me and Changbin!
seo_changbin: Hey now don’t drag me into this
lee_minho: there is nothing to report
bang_chan: That's not really a sufficient explanation
lee_minho: it was a rant written by a barely literate lunatic sent by fax in the wee hours of the morning. if they wanted us to actually heed it they could’ve sent a letter to the editor by mail or email like a normal person
bang_chan: Sure, but you don’t need to deal with these things alone. We’re supposed to be a team, remember?
lee_minho: k and you’re supposed to be reading the A1 story so we can move it along to copy and yet...here you are...lecturing me about nonsense...
bang_chan: I’m not lecturing! I’m just saying you can rely on us when stuff like this happens and we can help
lee_minho: I don’t need help, but if I agree to personally inform you of all hateful comments posthaste in future, can we move on and do our jobs? need I remind you that our deadline is in a mere few hours????
seo_changbin: Is now a good time to ask when the food is arriving?
lee_minho: deadline! mere hours!!!!!!!!!!!
seo_changbin: I work better on a full stomach
lee_minho: will you work better when I dangle you out the window by one ankle
seo_changbin: Those windows definitely haven’t been opened since the 1960s
lee_minho: that’s what Dori is for
seo_changbin: Your cat can open windows?!
lee_minho: I’m talking about my hammer, obviously
seo_changbin: Oh, obviously
bang_chan: I’m gonna shut myself in my office right now to read the A1 story
bang_chan: Please don’t defenestrate Changbin while I’m gone lol
lee_minho: you can’t make such extreme demands of me
nosupervision
han_jisung: guys chan’s door is closed and minho went to fill up his water so we’re officially unsupervised?!
lee_felix: well changbin is still here!
yang_jeongin: Changbin has no control over this newsroom. we’re basically lawless now
han_jisung: what do we do with our two minutes of freedom?????
han_jisung: we could finally get a pet!!!
kim_seungmin: How are you going to catch a rat in two minutes?
hwang_hyunjin: we are NOT getting a pet rat
kim_seungmin: Well I’m not sure any other animals are available in the vicinity on short notice
han_jisung: we need to find a cat somehow bc there’s no way minho will say no to that
han_jisung: and there’s no way chan will say no to minho!
han_jisung: so we’d be in business
lee_felix: ok i’ll keep an eye out for any stray cats wandering through the office
hwang_hyunjin: Minho is back btw
yang_jeongin: wow we really squandered our freedom
editorial
Channel purpose: To inform other editors when an article is ready to move to the next step in the editorial process (typical steps: 1st Senior Editor read → Executive Editor read (then EIC read for certain articles) → 1st Copy read → 2nd Senior Editor read → 2nd Copy read → Ready to lay on page).
kim_seungmin: Peace rally piece is ready for exec @seo_changbin
↳ han_jisung: lol why did changbin react to this with the shrimp emoji
↳ seo_changbin: Shrimp brings me inner peace
↳ han_jisung: fair enough ig
yang_jeongin: library article sucked but second copy read is done @kim_seungmin
↳ kim_seungmin: Nowhere did I ask for your personal thoughts about this piece
↳ yang_jeongin: yeah I generously gave them for free
seo_changbin: Scholarship piece for 1st copy @yang_jeongin
bang_chan: Student gov story is ready for 1st copy @yang_jeongin
↳ bang_chan: @lee_minho Aren’t you proud?
↳ lee_minho: are you expecting a head pat for doing your job???
↳ bang_chan: Are you offering?
↳ lee_minho: one sec I’m trying to see how to block someone on Slack
han_jisung: coffee article for exec @seo_changbin
↳ seo_changbin: Wtf? There’s no article called that on the schedule
↳ han_jisung: true just keeping u on ur toes
yang_jeongin: alumni article for 2nd senior @kim_seungmin
↳ kim_seungmin: No opinion on this one?
↳ yang_jeongin: my copy assistant who read it said you must be really desperate for content if you’re running stories this dull
↳ kim_seungmin: K
boardofeditors
han_jisung: lmao why is hyunjin’s instagram bio “born to slay, forced to work in a student newsroom”
hwang_hyunjin: because it’s true obviously
kim_seungmin: You applied and interviewed to work here
hwang_hyunjin: I don’t see how that’s relevant?
seo_changbin: Hyunjin was definitely born to slay that’s undeniable
↳ yang_jeongin: your pathological need to simp for Hyunjin is excruciating to watch
↳ seo_changbin: And?
bang_chan: Jisung, why are you on Instagram when you haven’t finished writing the headline for the A&C cover story?
han_jisung: an artist gets their inspiration from many sources
kim_seungmin: He has also watched at least 20 minutes of the Bee Movie
bang_chan: And what does that have to do with the cover story about campus theater?
han_jisung: none of ur business
lee_minho: Jisung <3
han_jisung: how do you make a heart so threatening?!
lee_minho: if you finish the headline I’ll give you six skittles
kim_seungmin: That’s a terrible incentive
han_jisung: no no wait let the man speak
nosupervision
lee_felix: is the paper submitted yet??
hwang_hyunjin: idk it’s so quiet over by Minho’s desk
kim_seungmin: He and Chan are looking through the last few pages before submitting
lee_felix: but it’s past deadline!!!
han_jisung: yeah we’re always past deadline lmao. ask anyone from the board of eds last semester
hwang_hyunjin: then what were all of Minho’s threats for?!
kim_seungmin: The goal is always to be less late
yang_jeongin: I had barely any time to look over the headlines on pages A1 and A2 so I hope they’re fine :(
hwang_hyunjin: don’t be saaaad Jeongin I’m sure you did the best job that anyone has done ever
yang_jeongin: or I missed some critical errors and ruined the reputation of The Star
kim_seungmin: Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t ruin the reputation of an organization that no one has respect for anyway
hwang_hyunjin: LOL was that supposed to be comforting?!
yang_jeongin: I actually do feel comforted thx
kim_seungmin: Yw
han_jisung: oh there’s cheering i think we did it!
hwang_hyunjin: thank god
lee_felix: tonight was so stressful!! i’m glad it’s over lol but i’m excited to see the paper tomorrow
Friday, Sept. 1
triumvirate
bang_chan: Gonna go check to see if the paper has been delivered to the newsstands yet hahaha I’ll report back
lee_minho: go to bed, old man. I’m up anyway for class. I’ll check for the paper
bang_chan: You have class on Friday morning??? That’s terrible
lee_minho: yeah one of my dance classes is only offered MWF at 8 a.m. soooo
bang_chan: Shouldn’t have kept you in the office so late lol, my bad
lee_minho: it was our first paper so obviouslyyyy we had to celebrate. nothing to do with you, really
bang_chan: Ah yeah true but still! You must be so tired
lee_minho: at least I went to bed at all, something I guarantee you did not do
bang_chan: I’m working on it! Can’t fall asleep until I know the paper made it haha
lee_minho: [1 image attached]
lee_minho: the paper made it. go to sleep
bang_chan: Okay, thank you for checking the newsstand! Call me if there’s anything urgently wrong with it haha
lee_minho: what kind of TV newsroom drama are you living in? just sleep, you weirdo
bang_chan: On it!
boardofeditors
lee_minho: [1 image attached]
lee_minho: happy first paper. see you all in the office later for the postmortem
hwang_hyunjin: translation for those of us who don’t speak french??
yang_jeongin: pretty sure that’s Latin
hwang_hyunjin: wait I just googled it?!?!!? what do you mean an examination of a dead body????
bang_chan: PoMo is what we call our adviser meeting! JYP comes to the office and we go through the paper with him and hear his feedback on it
lee_minho: Christopher
bang_chan: Jeez okay I’m going!! Goodnight hahaha
lee_minho: now that he’s gone: pomo is literally the worst thing ever invented and I am thrilled to have you all suffering alongside me
hwang_hyunjin: can I skip it?
lee_minho: no and also go back to sleep
hwang_hyunjin: that I can certainly do bye y’all
triumvirate
seo_changbin: Hooray newspaper!
seo_changbin: How late were you guys in the office? I left at like 3 I think
lee_minho: til 5
seo_changbin: Wow I missed a whole party huh
lee_minho: you didn’t miss much. we were just too lazy to leave
seo_changbin > bang_chan
seo_changbin: So were you just staring longingly at him the entire time after we left or what
boardofeditors
han_jisung: WE MADE A NEWSPAPER
han_jisung: pomo is the worst i had to go last semester and it was brutal
seo_changbin: Hopefully we didn’t screw anything up too bad
han_jisung: yo don’t jinx us like that
kim_seungmin: Lol we accidentally ran the same photo twice on A4
lee_felix: oops
yang_jeongin: could be worse ig
lee_minho: it was a bold and deliberate aesthetic choice
kim_seungmin: Sounds very believable
bang_chan > seo_changbin
bang_chan: Yeah basically
bang_chan: We were just chilling talking about the paper and whatever. Time just passed really quickly haha. I feel bad I kept him up so late when he had early class
seo_changbin: If there’s only thing I know for sure about Lee Minho it’s that others cannot influence his decisions
bang_chan: True I guess lol
seo_changbin: Hilarious to think of you pining after your crush in the Star office. It’s probably the least romantic place in the entire world
bang_chan: What do you mean! It has a unique charm to it
seo_changbin: There’s literally mold growing from the ceilings
bang_chan: Ah yeah I’ve tried reporting that to the university but they said there isn’t room in the budget for de-molding the office
seo_changbin: Very charming
boardofeditors
bang_chan: @han_jisung Where are you? We’re about to get started with PoMo
han_jisung: sorry i’m late it’s because i didn’t want to come
han_jisung: but i’ll be there in one (1) minute
kim_seungmin: You’re missing invaluable small talk about how JYP joined a dance class for old people. He’s asking Minho for dance tips
han_jisung: god i’m so sad to be missing that
bang_chan: Okay just a quick note as we begin: Please contain any reactions you may have to this channel. It’s really not worth picking an argument with him if he says something you disagree with
lee_minho: yeah and some of you (@seo_changbin) need to work on your poker face
seo_changbin: It’s not MY fault that I’m so honest and vulnerable in my expression
kim_seungmin: You look at him like he just killed your entire family
seo_changbin: At least I’m not laughing at him like you are!
han_jisung: guys guys let’s focus on what’s important here
han_jisung: did he just question the existence of hurricanes
lee_felix: i have no idea what he’s even saying omg
hwang_hyunjin: no compliments for the A1 photos??? this is offensive to me personally
yang_jeongin: why does it sound like he didn’t actually read any of these stories?
lee_minho: no shot he read any of them
kim_seungmin: He really says things just to say things doesn’t he
han_jisung: is this how i sound when i don’t do my readings for class
hwang_hyunjin: no you’re def better at bullshitting
yang_jeongin: did he really just say “lotta news on this one” and then turn the page
lee_minho: he’s sending his very deep and specific thoughts about our hard work on this paper via telepathic communication. sorry you all aren’t advanced enough to hear it
bang_chan: Hahahahaha
lee_felix: at least he hasn’t said anything mean about the design
lee_felix: i think anyway? idk half the time i have no clue what he’s saying
han_jisung: oh god not a story about when he was a college student
han_jisung: no one wants to hear what it was like back in medieval times
seo_changbin: Good thing Chan is so composed when JYP asks him questions about our editorial choices because the rest of us would absolutely crack under the pressure
han_jisung: kim seungmin would laugh in his face
lee_minho: and then we’d have to muzzle him to avoid our funding getting cut
hwang_hyunjin: Seungmin can’t be tamed we should let him unleash his true feelings
lee_minho: then we’ll have to start selling your organs to pay for newspaper production costs
hwang_hyunjin: SURELY THERE ARE OTHER WAYS???
han_jisung: felix looks like his soul has vacated his body lmaoooo his face is so perplexed
yang_jeongin: jyp asking if we submitted the pages on time to the publisher and Minho saying “pretty much” is sending me
seo_changbin: What are we gonna do, be honest?
han_jisung: minho’s poker face is scary but his ears are so red
bang_chan: Cute hahahaha
hwang_hyunjin: did Minho just stab Chan with a pencil
bang_chan: He missed!
lee_minho: I won’t next time
yang_jeongin: damn
seo_changbin: Is it finally over?!
han_jisung: chan’s life?
seo_changbin: No, PoMo
han_jisung: oh idk i wasn’t listening
kim_seungmin: He seems like he’s wrapping up so just stare at him until he feels unwelcome
bang_chan: Lol
lee_minho: adequate job making a newspaper this week, everyone
hwang_hyunjin: stop I’m tearing up
kim_seungmin: Are you actually
hwang_hyunjin: I could be if Minho keeps saying borderline nice things!
bang_chan: Excellent work this week, team! Very very proud of you all
lee_minho: eugh