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You can’t believe it! The day you have dreamed of since you were a little kid is finally coming true.
You are finally marrying Mr. Clean, the love of your life.
The yin to your yang, the peanut butter to your jelly—you get the idea.
He had proposed to you at your favorite restaurant, and you had picked everything for the wedding along with him, from the decor to the dress to his suit, which he promised to wear.
Now you are finally getting married to the love of your life—your favorite person, Mr. Clean.
“Are you ready, sweetheart?” Your father asks.
"Yeah, dad, I’m ready." You answer.
"I just can't believe it; my little baby is getting married." He stops to wipe a tear with a cloth.
"You know, I'll tell you we didn't like Mr. Clean at first, but I think we've finally come around," he says as he takes your arm.
And you two make your way to the aisle. As you are making it to the aisle, you see your beautiful decor, but you stop dead in your tracks when you see him.
He’s, he’s
Mr. Clean, the man you're going to marry—the love of your life—is wearing all white.
He didn’t even change his outfit; he’s still in his bright white t-shirt and white jeans.
This morning, you had told him to wear a suit; you even went with him to pick out the suit, but he hadn’t even listened to that.
How stupid could he be? He was really too busy with his thousands of cleaning products to even wear a suit.
“Why are you wearing white?” You ask, heartbroken.
“Because I’m Mr. Clean, that’s why,” he argued.
“Why are you wearing white?" He asked.
“Because it’s our wedding." You shout.
“We’re getting married, and you don’t even have the decency to wear a different outfit.” You cry.
“Does anyone have any objections? Speak now, or forever. Hold your peace." The ordained minister announces, but suddenly C-3P0, in his golden-bodied glory, stands up.
“I do object." C-3p0 yells
C-3p0 walks into the aisle as Gandalf magics a suit onto him.
C-3p0 takes his blaster and shoots Mr. Clean
Mr. Clean screams as he turns into a magic eraser.
Gandalf puts a spell on the blaster to turn anyone who gets shot with it into a Mr. Clean magic eraser.
As C-3p0 takes Mr. Cleans place, the ceremony continues.
Your dad finishes walking you down the aisle as he takes his spot next to you.
“Do you C-3P0 take Reader as your lawfully wedded spouse?”
The ordained minister asks, “I do." C-3p0 answers.
“Do you, Reader, take C-3p0 to be your lawfully wedded spouse?” The minister asks.
“I do.” You say happily that you’re finally getting your happily ever after.
“If anyone objects to these two being together, speak now or forever and hold your peace."
The minister sighs, but then Darth Vader bursts through the doors, his cape fluttering like a roar, his hard breathing only becoming louder once his breathing becomes his usual volume.
He struts to a spot next to C-3P0. "I’d never miss my droids wedding." Darth Vader declared
"Okay…" The minister paused.
“Any other objections?" The minister said he paused for a second, then turned to you and C-3p0 and said
“You may now kiss each other,” and with that, you married the love of your life that was standing right in front of you all along.
C-3p0.
