Chapter Text
Harry stopped his fork in mid-air, the bite of birthday cake he had yet to take forgotten. Molly beamed, waving two tickets for an international portkey.
“Arthur is taking me to the Maldives this Christmas!”
A chorus of jubilation welcomed her revelation, as she planted a resounding kiss on her embarrassed husband's cheek. Harry gasped, lowering his fork and running his astonished gaze over those present, who were still congratulating Molly.
“But who will prepare Christmas dinner?”
His question caused an immediate silence. His gaze shifted towards Hermione, who immediately gnawed her lower lip with a dismayed expression. “My parents invited us to Australia. Rose hasn't seen them since last summer and..."
“Are you going to spend Christmas in Australia?” Harry snapped; his voice two octaves higher.
Ron rubbed the back of his neck, his ears were deep red.
“Mate, I'm sorry, but you can spend Christmas Eve with Ginny,” he said, struck by a sudden epiphany.
The red-haired witch blushed furiously. “Sorry, honey, Pansy and I are going to a Wiccan sabbath in the woods.”
“A lesbian sabbath,” Ron muttered, taking a sip of wine. Ginny blushed even more.
“It's not a lesbian sabbath, we celebrate the death and rebirth of nature…”
“Dancing naked around a campfire.”
“That's just part of the ritual,” she said quickly, before looking back at him with a stricken expression. “Sorry, Harry, strangers not allowed.”
“That is, penises not allowed.”
Ginny ignored Ron. “You could spend Christmas Eve at Bill and Fleur's,” she said. Bill tried to hide behind the glass while Fleur showed a surprised expression. “Of course, cherie, papa and mama would be more than happy to host you with us in Paris. They have an apartment so big they won't even notice you're there.”
“Or you could go to George and Angelina's house, I'm sure Christmas in Istanbul is wonderful”
Harry bit the inside of his cheek. Christmas had just been abolished. Mr and Mrs Weasley were going to an island paradise, Ron and Hermione to the other side of the world, and he simply couldn't leave England at that time of year, when many Aurors were on holiday for the Christmas holidays.
And above all he didn't want to do it, he wanted to continue celebrating Christmas as he had always done for the last ten years, with the succulent turkey and the Weasleys' big, crooked Christmas tree.
"I don't really want to take two international portkeys to reach Australia right around Christmas, the ports will be very crowded" said Ron suddenly. A silent communication passed between him and Hermione. She quickly nodded.
“It's true… and Rose is still so young, last time she was sick for days from the trip. We could postpone it until spring, when she will be a little older and we could find more advantageous offers for..."
"It's actually a relief," Harry blurted out quickly without thinking.
All eyes were on him. “Yeah, well, I got another Christmas Eve invitation this year and I wasn't sure how to tell you,” He lied to keep his two best friends from cancelling their trip to stay with him.
Hermione frowned. "From whom?"
Harry wet his lips, avoiding everyone's gaze. “The person I'm seeing right now invited me,” he continued to invent while a sheen of cold sweat formed on the back of his neck. He poured some wine, hoping to gain time. His heart pounded loudly in his ears. He felt like he was fifteen again and at a meeting of the Order, when he was unpleasantly the center of attention.
“I didn't know you were seeing someone,” Ron muttered, the dimple between Hermione's eyebrows deepening.
“Yes, well we've been dating for a few months, but things are already... very serious, yes, he insists that I spend Christmas Eve with him and his family. I didn't tell you because I thought I would cause you grief, but since we all have plans for Christmas this year..."
“Oh, that's wonderful, darling. Marvelous." said Mrs. Weasley, clearly relieved. Her hands stopped shaking and some colour returned to her cheeks. “And where did you meet?”
Harry gasped, avoiding Hermione's radar. “It's strange that you didn't tell us about it before,” she insinuated.
Harry swallowed dryly. Ron and Hermione had been looking after him for years, he couldn't ruin Christmas for his two best friends. Ron had been working hard for his promotion lately and Hermione hadn't had a real holiday probably since nursery.
“I thought you didn't… approve.”
“Why shouldn't we approve?”
Harry looked at the expectant faces around the table. His mouth opened but he didn't recognize his own voice as he said, "It's Draco Malfoy, I'm in a relationship with him."
Ron spat out all the wine he was drinking. His eyes were full of tears. Hermione ignored him as Ginny hit his back hard.
“You are in a relationship with Draco Malfoy. That Draco Malfoy,” Hermione repeated, and Harry could swear she wasn't believing him. He nodded quickly, playing with some crumbs scattered on the tablecloth.
“It's pretty recent,” he muttered, a drop of sweat trickling down his hairline. “But we are dynamite, we can't get away from each other.”
"You and Draco Malfoy," Hermione repeated. Harry turned to her, raising an eyebrow.
“This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you anything, I knew you wouldn't approve!”
Hermione parted her lips in a stunned expression.
“We are a fantastic couple, and we love each other very much!”
“This is wonderful news, dear! We are so happy for you! We need to plan a dinner before Christmas so you two can make it official in front of the whole family. We could celebrate an early Christmas!”
A look of triumph flashed across Hermione's face. “Yes, Harry, let's organize a dinner with the whole family and your boyfriend, Draco Malfoy.”
Harry swallowed a lump of sandpaper. For a second, he felt himself wavering. “That's a great idea, Molly, thanks.”
*
Harry crashed his forehead into the desk. “I'm a moron,” he muttered, hitting the wood panel with his head again. He quickly regained his composure as soon as he heard a discreet knock on the door. Wallace, his assistant, came in, carrying an enormous cup of coffee and a stack of papers.
“Shifts for the Christmas holidays,” he said, handing him the documents. Harry scanned them quickly, before realizing that she hadn't yet handed him the coffee but was standing motionless in front of his desk with a stern frown on her face. He swallowed dryly, feeling the same unpleasant cold sensation as when Hermione was angry with him.
“I'm waiting for an explanation,” she said, raising an eyebrow.
Harry just shook his head. "What are you talking about?"
She snatched the documents from his hand, then pointed to his name on the list. “You signed up for the Christmas Eve shift and for Christmas Day. I haven't seen the New Year ones yet, but I suspect I'll find you there too.”
Harry wanted to deny it, but he couldn't. She put the papers on the desk, took a marker and crossed Harry's name off the Eve shift. “I'll give you the Christmas one, but on Christmas Eve you'll have to find something to do”.
Wallace gave him one last stern look and finally handed him the coffee before leaving his office. Harry chewed out a curse word, running his hands through his hair.
He took a sip of coffee, which burned all the way to his stomach, and went down a couple of floors, entering the depths of the Ministry.
The medical examiner's office is empty. Harry didn't wait for its occupant to return from break, taking a seat inside. The environment was less sterile than Harry might have expected. Refined anatomical drawings hung on the walls, a bookcase full of bound volumes, arranged in obsessive order. A black leather sofa where he suspected the doctor spent whole nights.
The only unexpected note was a big green pillow with a labrador. As soon as she saw him appear in the doorway, Tara tapped the floor with her brown tail and then approached him for lots of cuddles.
Harry bent down on his knees, scratching her head and ears. She looked at him with adoring eyes. A small upward jerk of the dog's head signaled to Harry that Malfoy was coming. Harry turned as soon as he sensed his presence in the doorway. The long legs, dressed in the blue overalls he used for autopsies, entered his peripheral vision as he gave Tara's head a final pat and got back to his feet. Draco consulted a diary, without sparing him a glance.
Blonde hair, always perfect. The long, pale neck that flowed into the elegant line of the back. The narrow waist, the invitingly shaped buttocks, the long legs, forged by hours of running. Everything about Malfoy was athletic and refined. Malfoy was undoubtedly charming, but whatever magnetism he possessed was destroyed by the atavistic aversion Harry felt for him.
“To what do I owe the displeasure of your visit?” the former Slytherin said with only a slight drawl in his voice. Harry felt nervousness stirring in his stomach. He forced his lips to curve into what he hoped was a seductive smile and not a disgusted grimace.
"What are you doing tonight?"
Malfoy finally turned to him, his face frozen. The former Slytherin let out his breath loudly, sitting down at his desk.
“I don't have time to waste on your games, I have work to do” he replied, opening a file.
Harry bit his lower lip, forcing himself to reach over to his desk and close the distance between them. He sat on the edge, brushing Malfoy's wrist with his fingertips.
“We could have dinner together,” he said, slightly nudging Draco's fingers with the tip of his index finger and letting out his best I'm the Chosen One smile, I've defeated the most powerful evil wizard of all time and you'd be very lucky to give me a blowjob.
Harry could see the disgust rising beneath the icy sheen on Malfoy's face, like a swollen black tide. “Like a date” he added to make sure the other had understood.
Malfoy leaned back in his chair.
"It's a joke?"
Before he had time to react, Malfoy reached the door and checked the corridor. “Tell Weasley to come out, I don't have time for jokes this morning.”
Harry was about to reply, but finally let the grin on his face melt away as he approached the door. He checked that no one was nearby and then closed the wooden panel. Malfoy looked at him as if he had suddenly grown a second head.
“I need a favour,” he sighed in defeat.
"No."
Harry gasped. “You don't even know what it is!”
“The answer is still no. Close the door when you leave.”
"You owe me"
Malfoy frowned.
“And for the sake of conversation, why would I owe you?”
Harry shrugged. “Oh, the whole wizarding world does. I defeated Voldemort and saved everyone, remember?”
Malfoy watched him for a handful of seconds without blinking. "Get out."
“Come on, Malfoy. You should just pretend to be my boyfriend for the Christmas holidays. Nothing complicated, see? It's nonsense."
The former Slytherin's expression changed from surprise to suspicion in the space of a few seconds. He stood up and checked again to make sure Weasley wasn't lurking outside the door, then went back to staring at Harry as if the second head that had sprouted was also completely crazy.
"It's not a joke" Harry quickly assured him "The Weasleys are taking a second honeymoon for Christmas, Ron and Hermione intend to spend the holidays with her parents in Australia, but they want to cancel their trips for me. I told them I was going to spend Christmas Eve with my boyfriend… and your name slipped out by accident.”
“Did it slip out?” Malfoy repeated.
Harry nodded. “I needed someone they would never approve of and who I would be embarrassed to be seen with in London.”
Malfoy frowned. “And I was the most likely candidate,” he rumbled.
Harry nodded. “Oh yes, you are the best choice, I couldn't find a more suitable fake boyfriend. They were all so negatively surprised that they didn't ask me too many questions. Except for Hermione, she suspects something. That's why you have to help me."
“Potter?”
“Mh?”
“Go away,” he said again, pointing to the door.
Harry wet his lips. “There would be those speeding tickets with the Firebolt”.
"Out"
Harry sighed in defeat. “Okay, I'm leaving, but if you change your mind…”
He hurriedly closed the door as Malfoy cast a spell on him. It seemed like a firm no.
*
Ginny moved away from the edge of the ice rink, following the trail of skaters. The long scarf hung at the sides of her neck. Colorful mittens peeked out from the sleeves. Ginny was graceful and fast, she skated as confidently as she flew. Harry followed her awkwardly, hoping not to fall and end up in a photo on the front page of the Daily Prophet.
“You and Malfoy?”
Harry grimaced. A single glance in her direction stopped the lie he was about to tell. “I know you're not dating, otherwise Pansy would know and tell me,” she added.
Harry's shoulders slumped into a heartbroken pose.
“It wasn't one of my brightest ideas,” he admitted.
Ginny pursed her lips, appraising him with a penetrating gaze. “Mom believed it, Ron pretends to believe it because he really needs a vacation, even though he loves you like a brother. Hermione is Hermione."
“She will stop Ron from leaving unless she is convinced that I am happily engaged and have no intention of hanging myself in the bathroom during the holidays. She always feels responsible towards me, as if they had adopted me.”
“They adopted you when you were eleven, they're not going to stop being protective just because you just turned thirty,” she conceded, lacing her fingers behind her back. “And my parents can't wait to see you in love and happy, maybe married to a sweet boy who cooks. My mother doesn't want to see you looking so wasted all the time."
Harry frowned. "I can cook."
“Yes, but you never do. And you drink too much coffee,” she replied, giving him a light push that made him skid to the side. He closed the distance between them as the background song changed. Another old Christmas classic.
"What can I do?" he groaned, diving deeper into the scarf. His breathing made his glasses fog up for a few moments.
“Have you spoken to Malfoy yet?”
Harry nodded. Ginny wrinkled her nose a little. “I guess it didn't go well. I could ask Pansy to help you and intercede.”
“Do you think she would?”
Ginny shrugged. "I think so".
“Is Malfoy dating anyone?”
Ginny shook her head. "Not that I know. Pansy says he's very secretive about his private life, doesn't introduce people he's seeing to his closest friends or family, but she always knows if he's seeing someone and guesses with clinical precision how many days are left before Malfoy dumps the guy."
“Well, he can dump me too. He can do it painfully and blatantly if he wants, but I have to stop Ron and Hermione from cancelling that trip and to do that I need Draco Malfoy.”
He bundled himself deeper into the duvet wanting to die. At the second ring of the doorbell Harry let out a pained moan and let his messy hair peek out from the covers. He grabbed his glasses from the bedside table in time to catch the scrutinizing gaze of one of the cats.
He shuffled downstairs, wearing an old robe over his t-shirt and boxers, not even bothering to put on his shoes. He opened the door, not yet fully awake, sure it was a courier when he found himself staring into Draco Malfoy's icy gaze.
A long dark coat, very expensive looking and very soft. Perfect blonde hair. The pale face. Harry had never realized before that moment that Malfoy had lost the sharpness and thinness that had distinguished him in adolescence to become an undeniably charming man.
The former Slytherin looked at him with a long look, he looked like he was about to vomit.
“Boxer with Snitches?”
“I wasn't expecting visitors,” Harry muttered, tying his robe and taking a step back to let him into the house.
“I'm coming to the Weasleys' dinner,” he began. Harry's eyebrows shot up. “If… you will come with me to Malfoy Manor on Christmas Eve.”
Harry lost his voice in the depths of surprise as Malfoy turned and headed for the door again. “Why did you decide to help me?”
He grimaced a little. “It doesn't concern you,” he replied. He was about to leave when Harry grabbed his arm.
“No one will believe it if you continue to look at me with contempt.”
Malfoy narrowed his gaze a little, focusing first on Harry's hand on his arm and then back on his face.
“You're supposed to be in love with me, remember?”
"In love with you?" the former Slytherin repeated as if the words had lost all meaning.
“Madly in love would be better.”
Malfoy shook his head. “May Merlin help us,” he whispered, before leaving.
*
“How did you convince him?” Harry asked, while Pansy brightened up the fireplace a little. The witch stood up, wearing a yoga outfit that hugged her thin, curvy body. For a moment she said nothing, as if unsure how to respond.
“It wasn't hard,” she said finally, leaning on the counter to steal a couple of popcorns from the decorations Ginny was making. “I simply told him that nothing would shock his parents more than seeing you at their Pureblood Christmas party.”
Harry frowned. “So, he wants to use me as a weapon to hurt his parents. What a wonderful Christmas Eve, I'm almost reconsidering the option of hanging myself in the bathroom" he grumbled.
Ginny smiled, shaking her head slightly at Pansy's silent question.
“Have you already decided on a story to tell?”
“What kind of story?”
Pansy shrugged. “The story of how you fell in love. Honey, anyone who knows you will think it's one of the signs of the apocalypse."
Harry looked at her without blinking. “I haven't thought about it,” he admitted. “Did he look at me and discover that his contempt for me was actually admiration and love?”
Pansy burst out laughing as Ginny speared another popcorn ferociously.
“You'll need a better story than this,” she declared seriously.
Harry began to have doubts about his brilliant plan.
*
“It's the Weasleys' Christmas brunch on Sunday.”
Draco raised both eyebrows. “You told me about dinner.”
Harry shook his head. “The Weasleys have very tight pre-Christmas schedules. The holiday season officially opens with the Christmas brunch that brings the whole family together. There are various events throughout December,” Harry continued, as the colour completely drained from Malfoy's face.
Harry let him wallow in fear before curling his lips into a wicked smile. “We should only attend brunch. During the next few weeks everyone will be too busy organizing their respective trips"
Draco said nothing. Tara watched him from her pillow with adoring love.
“So…” Harry exhaled, all pragmatism. “How did you fall in love with me?”
A grimace full of disgust distorted Draco's facial features. “A momentary loss of sanity?”
Harry's smile deepened. “You could say we worked on a case together and started talking. We discovered that we have many things in common" he proposed. If only it had been possible Malfoy would have turned almost blue with disgust.
“Like what?”
Harry shrugged. “We are both human beings, even if I still have some doubts about you.”
“You're not funny,” he replied, pouring himself some brandy. Harry followed his movements, letting his gaze slide along the long line of his back and then focusing on his buttocks. Malfoy had the annoying ability to choose clothes and colours that highlighted the elegant shape of his body and his complexion.
“Sex”
The former Slytherin turned to him, one eyebrow raised.
“We had amazing sex and from there…”
Malfoy exhaled in annoyance. “You can't base a relationship on sex. You can have the best sex of your life, but if you spend the evening in silence, without anything in common, the relationship doesn't work."
“Are you speaking from experience?”
“It's none of your business,” Malfoy replied quickly, taking a sip of brandy.
“Okay, I'll figure something out,” Harry said, not wanting to start an argument with the world's worst fake boyfriend. Malfoy continued to look at him suspiciously.
“Will you improvise?”
He shrugged, leaning down to pat Tara's head before pulling on his jacket. “It wouldn't be the first time,” he replied with a cheeky smile.
Malfoy didn't respond, simply escorting him to the door of his apartment, a large loft in the centre of Diagon Alley. For a second Harry was sure he detected a shred of concern beneath his mask of coldness and contempt.
“How do you know I won't back out at the last moment?”
“Pansy gave me a little clue”
Malfoy frowned.
"Pansy said it would be a huge scandal if you showed up at your parents' party with me. And you've always had a slightly wicked sense of humor."
“I take that as a compliment,” Malfoy replied, putting one hand in his pocket as he opened the apartment door with the other. Tara craned her neck to smell a gust of cooler air from outside and retreated.
“You should practice one thing before Sunday,” he said, tucking his scarf around his neck.
“What do you mean?”
"Are you in love with me. You should start calling me Harry.”
Draco looked like he was about to throw up. Harry smiled.
“I'm sure everything will be fine,” he said.