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“Your testicles are rather inflamed, young man, when was the last time you masturbated?” The old doctor turned to his cupboard of herbs after dropping this bombshell on Zoro.
Zoro fought back a blush as he redressed himself. His fingers itched to go to his swords, to eliminate the source of his embarrassment. But no, it was not the doctor’s fault. It was not Nami’s fault either. She had insisted on a full physical for everyone before they left for Fishman island but Chopper had been sleeping; too tired from the reunion party the previous night. The perverted cook had then come up with the brilliant idea of visiting the doctor on this random island, and that was how Zoro had ended up naked in this doctor’s office. Yeah, it was the cook’s fault; Zoro would punch him later. But for now, he had an awkward question to answer.
“Two years and a few months,” Zoro muttered reluctantly, seating himself back down in the single chair in the room. Concerned about everyone's health during the two years separation, Luffy had ordered this doctor’s visit. Since Zoro would rather cut off his own balls than disobey captain’s orders, he had to cooperate, even if he wished to storm out.
The doctor turned back to stare at Zoro, who immediately glared back challengingly with his singular eye. “You’re a healthy young man; you need to take care of yourself. And that includes masturbating regularly.”
Zoro managed to remain stone-faced this time, giving the doctor no hint of what he was feeling. Inwardly, he was embarrassed as hell. During the two years spent under Mihawk’s tutelage, Zoro had thought of Luffy frequently. But even before that long separation... the fact of the matter was that he had not jerked off to completion ever since he had discovered his feelings for his captain. Ever since that fateful realisation, every time he tried to jerk off, Luffy’s face would pop into his mind, causing a cacophony of shame and guilt amid his lust.
As a result, to avoid dishonouring his captain, Zoro outright refused to jerk off. He either took a cold shower or squeezed his dick until his erection wilted from pain. It was, he felt, a singularly straight-forward and effective solution.
But now...it appeared as if he could not continue down this path of action.
Zoro’s silence must have unnerved the doctor. He slammed down a small tin of herbal cream on the table, with strict instructions to use it regularly.
“What happens if I don’t jerk off?” Zoro questioned the doctor at last, idly leaning back against his chair, looking as if he had nary a care in the world.
The doctor furrowed his brows and looked at Zoro with narrowed eyes. Whatever he saw on Zoro’s face must have dissuaded him from trying to suss out the source of his patient’s reluctance. Instead, he snapped, “Then you can be prepared for inflamed testicles and reduced sexual function. Over time, it might affect your stamina.”
Zoro frowned. He did not much care about sexual function, but if it ended up affecting his physical abilities... Zoro would have to prevent that. How would he serve his captain if he was weakened? He still had to become the world’s greatest swordsman.
Perhaps the doctor saw something of the difficulty that Zoro faced. He continued in a slightly calmer tone, “As long as you release your seed about once a month, it’ll be fine.”
Zoro grunted, deciding that he had heard enough. He’d figure out a way; he always did. And if he couldn’t...well, Luffy and the crew would be sad about his death but it was not as if he was irreplaceable. There were heavy hitters a-plenty in the world. If Zoro had to personally hire his own replacement for the Strawhat Pirates, he would. Idly, he wondered if his three swords would be repayment enough for his replacement.
As Zoro strode out of the doctor’s office, he vaguely registered the old doctor yelling something about a medical report. But he had a lot on his mind, so he simply waved off the man.
Luffy was the next in line for the doctor’s appointment, Zoro noted absently. His heart lurched as his captain gave him a blinding grin and a quick wave. Zoro smiled back, then jerked his head in the direction of the ship. Robin had many books. Maybe he could find a solution in one of them.
Usopp insisted on accompanying Zoro back to the ship, which was, surprisingly, berthed in the opposite direction. Maybe the remaining crew members had brought her around to the other side of the island.
They walked in companionable silence, until Zoro had a thought. Maybe Usopp could give Zoro some insight into how frequently the average man jerked off. “How frequently do you jerk off?”
Looking everywhere but at Zoro, Usopp spluttered awkwardly at first, but in the end, Zoro heard a mumbled, “Once or twice a week.”
Huh. Zoro tilted his head in consideration. Maybe the old doctor had a point after all.
Robin had eyed him with no little surprise when Zoro had asked for access to her books but she had granted it graciously enough.
But now Zoro was cursing under his breath. His cursory search under medical books so far had yielded no results. Just as he was about to give it up, a thin booklet fell to the floor before him. On its front cover were two men holding hands.
Zoro wondered if it was a sign, then sardonically wondered which crewmate it belonged to. Robin didn’t seem the type, but hell, what did he know about her book preferences? On a whim, he smuggled out that book instead.
Most of the book was useless romantic drivel more reminiscent of the curly-brow cook’s taste in reading than not, but there were a few useful terms in there. Pete had threatened Koi with a ruined orgasm somewhere in the third chapter, although the author had chickened out of actually writing a scene on it.
But from what little Zoro had read about it...he was willing to give it the good old try.
One week later, after his inflammation had all but subsided, Zoro decided to put his plan to action. Waiting till it was late at night, Zoro snuck to the showers when he was certain that all of his fellow crewmates were asleep.
Quickly and efficiently, he stripped off his clothes and deposited it into the laundry basket. Then, deciding that he might as well scrub himself down since he was already in the shower, Zoro reached for the soap.
How long had it been since he had allowed himself to feel pleasure from his own touches? Usually, he washed himself in a perfunctory manner, as he performed most tasks in life not related to fighting. But today...Zoro absently lathered his solid, muscular body with soap, allowing himself to relax into his own touch.
His fingers around his nipples set his dick twitching, and it begun to rise half-heartedly. If it was this sensitive when he touched it, how much more sensitive would it be if Luffy was the one touching?
Luffy. His captain, his leader, master of his heart. If Zoro were a man who believed in god, he would give that lofty position to Luffy. These two years, Zoro had trained hard and he felt his own strength increase exponentially. He could be king; he was fully confident in his own abilities. To no other man would he ever be subservient; yet, he was willing to kneel to Luffy.
Thinking of Luffy’s own increased strength, Zoro shivered. Somehow, the very thought that Luffy could defeat him, could put him on his knees and make him long to stay there made him hot for his captain like nothing else did. He would be good, Zoro thought fiercely. He would obey and serve, he’d do everything and anything Luffy ordered in the bedroom.
Then, Zoro was reminded of Luffy’s erstwhile rejection and a bitter pang throbbed in his heart. Still, even if Luffy did not want Zoro sexually, Luffy liked hugs. “Captain...” Zoro was willing to give Luffy all the hugs and cuddles he wanted, even if he had to ignore his own erect dick for hours. Many a night, Luffy had snuggled up to him, flopping onto him like only a rubber dead weight could, asleep within seconds while Zoro lay awake, hard and aroused by his captain’s proximity, unwilling to take advantage of his captain, refusing to even think of touching himself. And in the deepest, darkest corner of his head, Zoro could admit to himself that he hoped. Hoped that maybe, just maybe, one day Luffy would take pity on him and offer Zoro a hand, no, even a finger would do.
By the seas, he was pathetic.
Luffy had clearly said that he had no interest in sex, yet here Zoro was, fantasizing about him in such a manner. It was dishonourable and an affront, yet it got Zoro’s blood pumping.
Fuck.
Zoro snarled as he gave in to the fantasy and reached out a finger to caress his own dick, yearning, hoping, imagining that it was Luffy instead. He barely skimmed the surface of his dick with one sole finger, even as he pinched and twisted his own nipples harshly.
His cock stirred further, rising to full mast. Gritting his teeth, Zoro teased his cock even further by continuing to touch it lightly with only one finger, tracing all the veins he could see. Soon, he was dripping like a leaky faucet and panting harshly, even as he tortured his own erection with fleeting touches, driving his own unsatisfied lust to unimaginable heights.
No one said that jerking off or orgasms had to be pleasurable. He might have to achieve completion because of circumstances beyond his control but he was not above punishing himself for his own ill-discipline.
Slowly and inexorably, Zoro brought his body to the pinnacle of pleasure. He was close. So close, that whimpers fell from his mouth uncontrollably. Zoro stuffed his own fingers into his mouth, wishing that it was Luffy’s. Then he curled his other fingers around his purplish, turgid cock harshly, and gave it a single, firm stroke. “Luffy,” Zoro breathed out reverently, and then he was coming.
Immediately, upon feeling himself tip over the edge, Zoro yanked his fingers off his cock and placed his palms on the tiles of the shower wall, watching implacably as his cock dribbled little spurts of cum pathetically onto the tiles beneath his feet. What little pleasure he felt fizzled out immediately, leaving Zoro shuddering and thrusting his hips into the air involuntarily, his body still hopelessly chasing after the pleasure that Zoro had denied it.
The short, sharp tumble down into the abyss of despair from his previous high was a jarring shock to his body. Gasping for air, Zoro felt raw and wrung-out, his body still half-crazed with arousal. But the pressure that had been building up in his balls was gone, and he felt lighter in an infinitesimal way. As attuned as Zoro was to his body, he knew that this would help him maintain peak physical condition.
Huh. The old doctor was right, Zoro thought as he turned on the cold water. Jerking off at least once a month appeared to be essential. Still, shame and guilt curdled in him at the thought that he had basically used Luffy for his own pleasure. Fuck. How could he still look his captain in the eye tomorrow?
The next day, outside of mealtimes, Zoro avoided Luffy the entire day. Even during meals, he made sure to sit as far away from Luffy as possible and avoided his captain’s eyes with a vengeance.
The problem was, Zoro was about as subtle as a brick to the head, so everyone noticed. Right after lunch, Nami cornered him and hissed at him in exasperation. “Luffy’s been mopey the whole day. Fix the problem, or I’m doubling your debt.”
Zoro glared after Nami’s retreating back but did not object. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Luffy sad. So, even though he’d rather pull his teeth out, Zoro braced himself as if for a fight, before striding over to Luffy, who was sitting in his typical spot on the figurehead. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see all his crewmates disappearing from the deck, until there were only two of them left.
“We need to talk,” Zoro bit out through gritted teeth.
“Zoro’s the one who has been avoiding me,” Luffy said sulkily, not deigning to turn around.
Hearing the grumpiness in Luffy’s voice was like a punch to the gut. He’d done the last thing he’d ever want to do; he’d hurt Luffy. Zoro sighed and leaned against the railing near the figurehead, looking up to see the sitting silhouette of his captain. “I know. Sorry about that, Captain. I did something wrong and I haven’t had the guts to face up to my mistake.” Sour, curdled shame sat roiling in his stomach as he admitted his weakness to his captain.
Finally, Luffy turned to squint at Zoro. Something on Zoro’s face must have convinced him of the severity of the situation, because Luffy nodded once then jumped down to land right in front of Zoro. “Tell me,” Luffy ordered with a serious demeanour.
“I jerked off last night thinking of you,” Zoro told Luffy bluntly as he met his captain’s gaze head-on. Taking a deep breath, he offered, “I can commit hara-kiri, if you want.”
It was the most abject, sincere apology Zoro could offer. Cutting open his stomach with his own sword, offering penance to Luffy with his life and blood.
Luffy blinked once, then twice, then scratched his nose and pouted. “No. I don’t want Zoro dead.”
He reached forward to pinch Zoro’s cheek and pull it wide. “The reason why you’ve decided to do this...it’s because of what the old doctor said?”
Zoro flushed as Luffy released his cheek and looked away shamefacedly. “He told you?”
Luffy waved a hand dismissively, “Zoro left without taking his medical report, the doctor gave it to me.”
"Aye." Zoro exhaled and closed his eye. There was something freeing about confessing his sins and throwing himself on his captain’s judgement. Then he opened his one good eye again, and folded his arms patiently, prepared to wait as long as he had to for his captain’s sentence.
Luffy started ticking off points on his fingers. “Zoro need to jerk off once a month for health reasons. Zoro thinks of me when jerking off. Zoro feels guilty, because...he did it without my permission?”
Inclining his head, Zoro corrected, “Against your expressed wishes. You’ve said before, you’ve no interest in sex.”
Luffy hopped onto the railing and wiggled around, trying to find a comfortable position to sit. Beside him, Zoro tensed, ready to leap after his idiotic captain should the man show any sign of falling overboard.
“The solution’s simple. Next month, Zoro will come to me to ask for permission," Luffy smacked his right fist into his left palm and beamed at Zoro.
There were a thousand and one things wrong with that logic, but the heat spreading through Zoro’s lower belly stilled his tongue.
Zoro’s face burned, until he was so red that he resembled a tomato. He shivered at the thought of having to seek his captain’s permission to pleasure himself. To seek Luffy’s permission. To jerk himself off with Luffy’s blessing.
In the end, in the face of that smile, there was only one thing he could say to Luffy’s order.
“Aye, Captain.”