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Mac steps out of the cab and onto a half empty sidewalk.
She stares up at the massive apartment complex before her, trying to guess where exactly his was from the bottom.
She knew his apartment number and what the view looked like from the inside, but she never really took the time to see it from the outside.
At the same time she’s narrowing down which apartment is his, someone steps out of his building.
That was her cue to get the door before it closed or else she’d have to wait on someone else to come out.
Once successfully in the building, Mac b-lines for the elevator and presses the 8th floor when she steps in.
He was going to be annoyed that she was making an unannounced pop in, but she was using work as an excuse to see him. She’d say she was there to talk about Monday’s show when in reality she was there to check on him.
They hadn’t spoken since he landed in Nebraska for his father’s funeral.
She wanted to call and almost did maybe a hundred times since then. She even almost got a last minute flight to Lincoln. But, she somehow managed to have restraint. Deep down Mac understood he needed his space and not to be bothered by her phone calls checking in on him. That wasn’t exactly how he rolled. He just needed some alone time to process this.
Part of her, however, regretted not getting that last minute flight. But, he was back now and she was standing in front of his apartment.
Taking in a breath and letting it out slowly, Mac knocks on his door.
When he doesn’t immediately answer she starts to wonder if Charlie had been wrong about Will returning home the previous night. Maybe he was still in Nebraska.
She gives it another minute before knocking again. That’s when she hears his voice, “I’m coming!”
As soon as the door opens and she gets a look at him, she has to hold in saying that he looked terrible instead of greeting him.
Man, was that hard.
The circles under his eyes were dark, he was a little paler than usual, and he was weirdly leaning on the door in a way only someone in pain would do.
“Couldn’t wait until Monday to bug me?” He greets, a little sorely.
“Ouch, hello to you too Mr. Grumps.”
Will looks at her with a bit of annoyance, but she could’ve sworn she saw a little bit of perk in his face.
“So, did you set the newsroom on fire while I was gone? Burn down the entirety of the 25th floor?”
He’d only been gone for a single day, leaving Mac to produce Elliot instead.
Mac shrugs, “maybe, but you’ll have to find out on your own on Monday.”
She glances at the door again and how he seemed to be using it as some sort of stabilizer. Like he needed to in order to take pressure off of something.
“Are you okay?” She asks as she looks back at him.
“In what sense?”
“Just, you look like you’re about to take that door down from how hard you’re leaning on it as some sort of support.”
He shrugs, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
It was clear that he was lying.
“Will?”
“Mhm?”
“Step away from the door,” Mac insists.
“No,” he retorts a little too quickly.
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to.” He was trying hard to cover the fact that he was indeed using the door as a crutch to take pressure off an injury.
Mac raises a brow, “do it or I’ll tell everyone you took ballet in high school.”
“It was for football!”
“Will…”
He finally caves at that and limps away from the door, holding one foot slightly off the ground.
Mac notices that he had a brace around his knee that had already been previously injured from his football days.
“Oh, Will…” Her tone changes to concern, “okay that’s it,” Mac pushes her way into his apartment and forces his arm around her shoulder.
She starts to help him move toward the living room and to couch, “how the bloody hell did you get home like this?”
He could still partly walk on it but the pain was awful. So, he tries not to put too much pressure on it as he lets her guide him over to his couch.
“Oh, you know, I crawled.”
“Enough with the sarcasm,” she insists.
“Well, my sister made me get in a wheelchair when she took me to the airport. I swear it’s not that bad, I can still kind of walk on it.”
Mac helps him down onto the couch and then looks down at the brace, “did you go to the doctor?”
“In Nebraska? Please. I didn’t want to go to my sister’s doctor or the ER. We argued about it for about ten minutes before she seceded. It’s not broken, at least I don’t think it is. I’ll call my doctor on Monday. I’ll be fine,” he insists.
She just shakes her head at his stubbornness, “can I at least look at it?”
“Mac…” Will sighs.
She glares at him for a moment and he decides to not try and argue any further.
Mac squats down and pulls the brace off. His knee was purple, red, and blue and a little bit swollen.
She grimaces, “well, we won’t know if it’s broken without an x-ray, but you certainly did a number on it.”
Will shrugs, “yeah, well, I’ll be fine I’m sure.”
“And what’s the brace for?”
“I don’t know, I thought it would help or something.”
Mac sighs and shakes her head. “Just stay there, don’t move.” She then gets back up and walks toward his kitchen.
Opening his freezer, she sees a bunch of frozen meals and luckily he had an actual ice pack.
Upon returning with said ice pack that was wrapped in one of his kitchen rags, Mac places it right on his knee which makes him grimace and wince.
“That’ll take the swelling down. In the meantime, you need to just stay here and rest. I think it might be best that I stay here too and make sure you don’t fall and hurt something else.”
“Oh no, no, no, no,” he immediately protests. “You absolutely do not need to stay here.
She had to admit, she was slightly offended at his insistence that she not stay there with him. Then again, the last time they stayed in the same apartment together was almost six years ago.
“Will, I am not letting you stay here by yourself limping around this giant fucking apartment only for you to fall and actually break something. When I help you into bed later, I’ll sleep right here on the couch.”
He wanted to protest again, in fact, he almost did. He knew better than to argue though, he hardly ever won an argument when they were together. And he hardly won them now.
Will lets out a sigh, “fine. Fine you can stay here and help me out a little, but I’d like for it to be noted that I’m not completely incapacitated here, I can handle myself almost completely.”
Mac just shrugs as she takes a seat on the loveseat adjacent to the couch. “It’s noted.”
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An hour after Mac arrived, they were still seated in his living room, eating sandwiches from a diner just a few blocks over from his apartment.
Mac was eating a turkey and provolone sandwich while Will was eating a reuben. They sat in silence while they ate and watched Remember the Titans. Another favorite of Will’s that had to do with football.
She enjoyed the movie and in all honesty, she was just glad it wasn’t Rudy again for the millionth time.
About ten minutes after the movie ended, Will looks over at Mac. He had a question burning in his mind.
“So, tell me, why exactly did you come here tonight anyway?” He asks.
They could’ve talked on Monday. She could’ve called. It wasn’t like they were strangers to being on the phone with each other for several hours at a time. And yet, she came to his apartment unannounced instead.
Mac doesn’t hesitate, as if she already had the answer to his question prepared. Because she did. “I just wanted to make sure we were set for Monday. Maybe throw around a few things for the broadcast. Make sure you’re still up to date on everything going on around the nation and world.”
“And you didn’t call because?”
She shrugs, “I thought in person would be nicer. Besides, you’ve been gone since Thursday after the show.”
Will nods, pretending he believes her. “Right… right.”
He gives it a beat of silence. Just to make her sweat a little. She hadn’t done much lying to him since well… a time he didn’t like to think about.
“So, what’s the real reason you came?” He follows up.
Mac doesn’t answer for a moment. She didn’t know how to explain to him that she’d come all the way over here just to check on him. Calling was something a friend would do. Leaving a message was something a friend would do. Coming over unannounced to check in and then promptly inviting herself to stay and take care of him due to his injury wasn’t something a friend would do. Well, maybe. She could maybe see Sloan doing it for her. But their past, shared history, and existing grey area of relationship made it different.
“I almost flew to Nebraska,” she blurts out.
Okay. That wasn’t really what she wanted to say. But, she wasn’t really thinking and it came out before her brain could catch the words before they flew off her lips.
“What?” His brows raise instantly.
“I almost bought a last minute ticket and I almost got on a plane to Lincoln.”
“Why would you do that? You barely knew my father.”
It wasn’t exactly clicking for Will.
“For you, you idiot. Because I care about you and you have a tendency of shutting everyone else out when you’re especially upset.”
Mac closes her eyes for a moment and rubs her temple. She did and yet did not want to do this. She wanted him to actually understand that she loved him and cared so very deeply about him. She knew he was aware that she never stopped loving him, but she wanted him to actually see that. At the same time, she didn’t want to argue about their relationship again. About her stupid mistakes. It was all very tiring at this point.
Will could see the stress written across her face. He was understanding now where this conversation had gone. Why she had come there in the first place.
“Mackenzie…” His voice softened as he said her name.
And Mac could feel her heart almost jump out of her chest.
“Can we just…” she opens her eyes and stares down at the floor.
She only gives it another moment before standing.
“Look, I’m going to make a run back to my apartment. Gather a few things for the night so I don’t have to sleep in these clothes. Will you be okay here for about twenty or so minutes while I’m gone?”
He just nods, “yeah.. yeah, sure.” He watches as she starts to walk away from the living room.
“Mac…”
She only shakes her head, “not now? okay?”
Will doesn’t reply to that. He just lets her be and watches as she leaves. And honest to God, part of him was afraid she wouldn’t come back.
Mac wasn’t expecting to silently cry in the back of the cab that drove her back to her apartment.
She was just overwhelmed with how simple and yet overly complicated her relationship with Will felt.
The one step forward, two steps back dance they’d been doing for the past two years was hard to deal with.
Honestly, it was amazing she’d made it this long. But if Mac was good at one thing, it was not giving up.
When she returns to his apartment, she walks in carrying a small overnight bag over her shoulder.
The apartment was dimly lit, the only light coming from the living room and the city lights outside through the bare and large window.
As she stood in the foyer for another moment she realized just how big the place was. And it made her wonder if having a big place with no one to share it with made him lonely.
Mac finally steps into the living room, where Will was watching MSNBC with the volume on low.
“Ahem,” she clears her throat and steps into view, “I’m, uh, going to get ready for bed and then I’ll help you to your room and whatever else you need.”
Will looks up at her, “can we talk?”
She considers briefly but then shakes her head. “No. Not now. Maybe tomorrow.”
“Can I ask why?”
He shouldn’t have pushed, but he just wanted to know.
Mac looks down at the floor and shakes her head, “because I can’t do this right now, okay?”
Will just nods, “okay. Alright, that’s fine. Uh, I’ll be here watching MSNBC until you’re ready.”
“Okay.”
With that, she exits for the bathroom.
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Will manages to sleep for a few hours, but at some point during the night he’s awakened by the pain.
His knee was throbbing and it made him question why he refused going to the doctor when his sister offered to take him.
He reaches over to the bedside table and grabs the bottle of Tylenol off of it. While doing that, he glances at the bright green numbers from the digital clock that read 2:20 AM.
After about ten minutes of tossing and turning, waiting on the Tylenol to kick in, Will gives up.
He tosses the sheet off of himself and carefully gets out of bed.
The pain hit him immediately as he put just a little pressure on his knee.
However, he manages to limp his way out of his room and toward the living room.
His initial plan was just to check on Mac since she insisted on staying. He figured she was passed out on the couch.
When he slowly enters the living room though, he sees the light of the tv screen lighting up the room as it played silently.
“I guess I should’ve figured you’d be awake,” Will comments as he glances at Mac, who was sitting upright wrapped up under a blanket on the couch.
Mac looks up at him and immediately springs up from the couch, “what are you doing out of bed?” She lightly scolds.
He shrugs, “the Tylenol hasn’t kicked in yet and I couldn’t go back to sleep.”
She helps him to the couch and they take a seat next to each other, but keep their distance.
“Couldn’t sleep either?” Will asks and glances for a moment at the tv, which to no surprise was playing MSNBC.
Mac just shrugs, “I haven’t slept through the night in five years.”
That sent an immediate strike through his chest. His heart ached as he was reminded that she’d run to a war zone after breaking up.
“Right…” Is all he can muster.
They sit in an awkward silence for a few minutes after that.
Will reaches over next to the couch and turns on the lamp that was on the table.
He then turns and grabs the remote he had realized was between them and turns off the tv.
“Hey!”
“Hey what?” Will asks as he sets the remote back down.
“I was watching that,” Mac complains.
He turns back to her, “can we talk?”
“About anything except for our relationship, sure,” she immediately retorts.
“I don’t get it,” he begins. “You’re the one always willing and eager to talk about us and now you’re adamant we don’t talk about it at all.”
Mac turns toward him, “and I don’t get what it will take for you to understand that you can trust me.”
“Who says I don’t?” Will turns now too.
She scoffs, “you certainly don’t act like it.”
“Well, we’re certainly not in the same place we were two years ago.”
“But we haven’t improved otherwise.”
“I didn’t say that.”
Mac sighs, not even wanting to carry this conversation on any further. It seemed pointless. That was why she didn’t want to have it in the first place.
“Mackenzie…” he reaches out for her hand. “You have to know that I do care about you.”
That wasn’t hard to admit. Will cared about her, he cared about her well-being. He wanted the best for her despite how that part of him that wasn’t sure he could let her back in romantically still existed within him.
Mac only lets him hold her hand for a few moments before pulling it away.
And that made another pang hit his chest.
“That’s not…” she shakes her head. “It’s not enough,” she looks back up at him as she says it. “It just isn’t.”
“Mac…”
“Will…” Mac does everything in her power to keep her tears in. “I fell in love with you the day you brought me flowers when I had been sick with the flu for several days. I didn’t realize it then that I was really in love with you. But, I fell in love with you that day and I have loved you ever since. I thought about you every single night in Peshawar, in Islamabad, in every place we moved to. I wrote down every single thing I wanted to tell you but couldn’t. And I’ve thought about you every single day that I’ve been back in The States.”
She pauses for a moment to gather herself, to keep the tears at bay. “It hurts me that you don’t see that everything I’ve done since coming here was for you. Or maybe you do see that, and you just don’t care. I understand more than I can explain to you that I royally fucked up. Everyone we work with knows that I royally fucked up. Hell, I’m sure half the country knows I’ve fucked up with the morning show reporting it and whatever the hell TMI has ran. So I don’t understand why you still can’t trust that I’m not going anywhere. And frankly, I don’t know how else to prove to you that I’m sorry.”
Will doesn’t immediately say anything.
It felt like for a moment that his brain had malfunctioned.
She’d just laid it all out very plainly to him. She had done everything right that she absolutely could. Everything else, the reason they weren’t together, was him.
He only wished it hadn’t taken all of this to make it click.
All words were failing him.
His brain was scrambling for the right words. The perfect words.
But he comes up short.
And it felt like ten minutes had passed when it had only been ten seconds.
Will acts on impulse, pushing his brain that was too slow to come up with anything aside.
He reaches out, grabs her by the nape of the neck, and pulls her lips down to his.
Their lips meet in a kiss for only a few seconds.
Mac pulls away first and stares at him wide-eyed for a moment. A kiss was the last thing she expected.
But for just this moment in time, she lets go of the thoughts in her head. How a kiss wouldn’t just make this all better. How she wanted to actually hear from him that he forgave her. All of that was out of the window.
Mac grabs his hand and pulls him toward her, then brings the same hand to the nape of his neck as they meet in another kiss.
This kiss lasts a few seconds longer than the previous.
She pulls her lips away again, but stays close.
Mac presses her forehead against Will’s and lets out a breath, “kissing me won’t fix this, you know.”
She feels him take her hand again as he says, “I know.”
And then he pulls away just a bit and looks in her eyes for a moment. “I love you. I forgive you. And I’m really sorry for hurting you. It won’t ever happen again, not a chance in hell.”
Mac laughs a happy and quiet laugh. She squeezes his hand, “I know.”
She leans forward kisses him again, this time harder and a little more passionately.
The two lay on the couch together a few minutes later. Mac was careful to not touch his bad knee as she laid her head on his chest. Thankfully, it was the knee opposite to where she was laying.
Will had his arm around her and a finger tracing up and down her side as they laid there quietly.
“You know, I never got to say it earlier, but thank you for coming over to check on me.”
Mac shifts so that she can look at him, “I was worried about you the entire time you were gone.”
He shrugs, “it was what it was. My sisters were helpful in their ways. Hurting this damn knee hurt worse than the funeral I think.”
She kisses his chest, “I’m sorry about that too.”
“Eh…” He shrugs, “I’ll be fine.”
“I know, but we’re going to the doctor on Monday to at least get you some crutches.”
“Okay,” he agrees even though he didn’t exactly want to be going around the newsroom in crutches.
Mac then starts to push herself off his chest and back upright.
“Hey, where are you going?” Will complains.
“Up so we can get you back into bed. Sleeping here is just going to fuck up your back too.”
“Well, why don’t you just put me out to pasture and let me rot?”
Mac gets up from the couch, “Billy…”
He really had his ways of complaining.
“Alright,” he sits up, “alright.”
Mac meets him halfway as he starts to stand and puts his arm around her shoulder.
She holds on to him tightly as they walk away from the couch.
And as they’re making their way to his bedroom, Will stops for just a moment and presses a kiss to the side of her head.
He doesn’t say a word. And she doesn’t either.
Mac just smiles and continues helping him toward his room.