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Lucifer's hair is just as golden and just as luminous as Adam remembers, all those thousands of years back in the garden. The first time he ever opened his eyes, he saw the angel, glowing as if from within, sneering down at him.
"What's wrong with it?"
And that moment forward, Adam was completely and hopelessly enamored.
Except now, his mask prevents him from feeling anything as he nuzzles his face into Lucifer's head, inhaling deeply. He doesn't need to feel anything to imagine how soft it is, he remembers as if it were yesterday. It was softer than anything he's touched, even to this day. Nothing can rival angel's hair; silken and ethereal. Adam used to be so jealous of it, not that he would admit that.
But now, Lucifer's hair smells like burnt smoke. If it weren't for his mask, he's sure his eyes would water at the sharp scent. But the sting of Lucifer's fallen scent that was once so jarring, now made his heart skip a beat. A damn, god awful Pavlovian response.
"My, clingy this time, are we now?"
Lucifer's voice breaks Adam out of his reminiscing, and he groans, squeezing his eyes shut and holding Lucifer tighter. He regrets doing so as soon as he hears a snicker. He sighs, then lifts his face from Lucifer's hair and stares at the ceiling.
It's like this every year. Adam sneaks away during the yearly extermination and seeks Lucifer out. Like a weak, hopeless moth to a hot, deadly flame.
Lucifer barely reaches his collarbones wearing his heels, a fact Adam can't help but rub in Lucifer's face now - Oh, how the tables have turned - although Lucifer only ever, infuriatingly, raises an eyebrow at his teasing. Despite Adam's insults and every attempt to belittle Lucifer, it never seems to affect him. He always hated (adored) how full of himself Lucifer was. And back then, Adam fell for the hype. Clung to his every word as Lucifer sung praise of himself. Even after everything, Lilith, Eve, the apple, Adam thinks he might, just maybe, still believe him.
They say you never get over your first love, right? Or is it that love makes you stupid? They say that, too, don't they... But Adam's not in love. As if.
"What's wrong, darling?"
God, Lucifer was so fucking annoying.
"I fucking hate you."
"Now, we both know that's a lie. It's a sin to lie, Adam."
He snorts. "Nah, I'm telling the truth."
Lucifer takes a step back, his feet together and standing tall, well, as tall as he can, and levels Adam with a look. Adam frowns and shifts under the gaze. Lucifer still knows how to make him feel small so effortlessly.
"What?"
Lucifer doesn't answer. He takes Adam's hand and leads him to sit down on the chaise. It's stupid and red and velvet and tacky. Just like the rest of the room. Adam runs his gloved hand over the fabric and watches the lines his fingertips leave behind as he drags them back and forth. Back and forth, back and forth, back and--
"Adam." Lucifer places his hand over his. Great, he's looking at him like he wants to laugh at an amusing child. He looks down at their hands and sees the ring on Lucifer's finger. Golden and taunting, just like everything else about him. Adam pulls his hand away and places it on his lap. He will not fiddle with his robes. Instead he fiddles with his own ring finger, touching at an imaginary ring that isn't there. Smooth.
"Adam."
"What? Oh my god, what?"
Lucifer leans in and walks his fingers up his arm to his shoulder, then flicks the edge of his mask. "Are you going to take this off for me?"
"Nope."
Adam is pleased to see disappointment flash through Lucifer's eyes, just for a brief moment, before being replaced with indifference. Which, okay, ouch, that hurts. But only a little.
Lucifer sighs, "Why are you being stubborn?"
"I'm not."
He spares a glance to see Lucifer observing him, calculating.
"Are you embarrassed I'll laugh? Did you forget to shave? Oh! Are you balding, perhaps?"
Adam snorts, "Wouldn't you just love for that to be the case?"
"Well, it would be rather funny!"
"Yeah, hilarious."
"Lighten up, Adam. You don't want to spend your entire visit pouting and ignoring me, do you?"
"Maybe I do. And I'm not ignoring you."
Lucifer huffs out a quiet laugh and crosses his legs. "You never cease to amuse me."
Adam frowns. Because that's all this really is, right? From day one, Lucifer saw him as an ant that he could observe and toy with, burning him with the sun through a magnifying glass. But now, Adam has clawed his way up the ranks. He wasn't "just a man" anymore, he is The man and he leads an army of exterminator angels who reign supreme over the sinners of hell. He casts his holy, cleansing light that spreads across the Pride Ring like Absalom's fire spread through the barley fields.
And Lucifer still sees him as a joke.
"Adam, you're much too in your own head." Lucifer's hand cups his cheek and turns his head so they're facing each other. "You're not here for much longer, stop sulking and talk to me?"
"Do we have to talk?"
"Well, no, we don't have to talk. We could just--"
Adam hates that he doesn't think, he just acts. He pulls Lucifer close and holds him again, burying his face back into his hair. For just this short moment, once a year, he can get this out of his system so afterwards he can resume pushing that yawning, gaping hole in his heart into a little box and cast it to the corner of his mind's attic. Right now, he can hold the angel he stupidly fell for way back then, and just indulge in the feeling of the lithe frame against his own. Lucifer's hands slowly slide around Adam's waist, up along his sides and then to his back where they rest and hold him gently in return. He thinks back to the garden, back to when he was alone with nothing but the company of Lucifer, who was always telling him grand stories of this and that, nothing Adam really understood or could keep up with, but the riveting ways Lucifer would paint pictures with his words captured every ounce of Adam's attention. He remembers how his mouth always tasted of fresh apples when they kissed. And every time they kissed, Adam felt dizzy and elated, and Lucifer always smirked at him with an expression that said I know something you don't. An expression that made Adam curious back then and makes him want to punch the wall today.
Lucifer was always one step ahead, wasn't he? Well, not anymore. No, now they have their own roles, their own paths. And did Adam still love Lucifer? Hah! He never loved Lucifer, he was naive, is all.
But.
Here they were.
Again.
"I really, really hate you."
"You've said."
"Yeah, bears repeating."
"Do you hold everyone you hate? Or am I a special exception?"
Adam holds the back of Lucifer's head and leans back, so he can look him in the eyes. "Just you."
Lucifer smirks. Adam frowns. "You know, I've never forgiven you. For anything you've done."
"Oh? And here I thought we weren't going to talk."
"Piss off, Lucifer."
"Still bitter, then?"
"You've taken--"
"--everything from me. Yes, darling, we go over this every year. Get a new script, one might get bored with--"
Adam grabs a fistful of Lucifer's hair and slams his head against the wall. The pain that flashes across Lucifer's face should feel good but it just makes him... sad? Nah, it can't be sadness. It doesn't matter what it is because Lucifer is smiling again.
Lucifer recovers quickly, like he always does, and laughs, "It's going to be one of these visits, huh? You're in a mood tonight! Are you going to try and beat me? Or kiss me? Both? You know I'm into some peculiar dynamics. The other night, Lilith and I--"
"Don't talk about her!"
Adam's chest is rising and falling much too quickly and Lucifer is giving him the I know something you don't look again and it takes all of Adam's willpower not to slam his skull into the wall once again.
Instead, he takes a few deep breathes and lets go of Lucifer's hair. He stands and starts to pace. "Don't talk about her."
"Still a sore spot for you, then?"
"You're such a fucking dick."
Adam runs his hand over his horn in exasperation. Sure, he was upset when Lilith left him, how could he not have been? She was the first human he met! And she was so beautiful, her hair the same shade as Lucifer's, albeit a little more red tinted. But he was devastated when he found out who Lilith ended up with. The betrayal Adam felt after Lucifer fell was nothing compared to the heartbreak that crippled him when he learned Lucifer took a queen.
He didn't know following Lucifer had been an option! He didn't know he had options! Adam didn't know anything until he bit into the golden apple many, many years later.
When Lucifer married Lilith, Adam felt confused, betrayed. But worst of all, Adam felt a soul crushing loneliness that has never gone away to this present day.
"It's been thousands of years, Adam, I would think you could move on from that break up by now! Besides, you got remarried!"
"Yeah, and look how that went!"
"I thought it went swimmingly!"
"You know, God ripped out one of my ribs to make her."
"I saw that. Do you still have the scar?"
Adam ignores him. "Have you ever had your chest sliced open? Have you ever had fingers pierce through muscles and tendons to snap one of your ribs off? Can you even understand the pain I went through for her creation?"
"The Bible states that God put you into a deep slumber for that, you know! Isn't that funny?"
"Lucifer."
"How is Eve doing these days? Still a submissive, perfect wife for you?"
"She's dead."
"Oh, whoops?"
Adam closes his eyes and counts to five, then opens them. "I don't know why I even visit you every year. You just piss me off."
"You can leave at any time, Adam."
"Do you even care that I visit you?"
"My doors are never locked."
"But you never visited me! You just stopped!"
Lucifer's eyes go wide and then he laughs. "What, just waltz into heaven? Are you insane?"
"In the garden! You would always visit me! We'd spend hours together! Then you fell and you could only visit me when God wasn't looking, which was like, never."
"You were busy naming all the plants and animals, doing human duties for God," Lucifer waves his hand dismissively.
"Then when Lilith left me and went to you, I never saw you again."
"I was busy, as were you, Adam."
"I just thought-- I just figured, I missed-- Ugh!" He gestures largely then crosses his arms, giving up.
Lucifer stands and once again cups his cheek but Adam slaps his hand away. He should leave now, he should. But he really doesn't want to. He wants to lay under the stars with Lucifer back in the garden, which he's still banned from by the way, and talk about the constellations and the meaning of dreams and whatever else bullshit they used to talk about.
"Adam, is it really that difficult for you to admit that you missed me?"
"I see you once a year now, I don't miss you."
Lucifer sits on the chaise again and pats the spot next to him. Adam reluctantly listens and sits down.
"Now, Adam. You are the leader of the extermination and God's right hand man. What is there to still be angry about? This was thousands of years ago. You've got your whole... Rockstar persona going on, and I have Hell to rule. We are both very busy, successful men, are we not?"
"I guess."
"Mhmm, and we know that the past is all water under the bridge."
"Is it?"
"Of course it is! I'm not angry about anything. In fact, I forgive you, even!"
"Why would you--"
"We were both destined for different things, Adam."
"I don't believe in destiny."
"But it fits your story so well."
Adam studies Lucifer's stupid, perfect face. He knows he's being jerked around like a ragdoll. He knows the game too well. The yearning for reciprocation is gnawing at his chest and it physically hurts. He presses his hand to his robes, right over the insignia, and wills the pain to go away. He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"Yeah, I guess we were. Too bad, huh? We woulda' made a hell of a team."
Lucifer's smirk lessens for a split second, and Adam may have seen genuine emotion. Maybe. But probably not.
"Perhaps..." Lucifer places his hands on his own knees and drums his fingers. "Perhaps. But at the time, you were so young and inept. And just a human, which wasn't that impressive."
Adam can't help but slouch a little at that.
Lucifer continues, "I suppose I should have paid my little human friend more attention back then, huh?"
Adam looks away with a grimace, "Ever the flatterer."
"Hmm? Come now, Adam, I can admit that I was a little dismissive of your needs. See? No more need to sulk."
Adam rolls his eyes, "Would you like a medal?"
Lucifer laughs, "Oh, I forget how pleasant you are! Such a refreshing surprise every year when you visit. You are so entertaining. I do love myself a good performer, after all."
"...Yeah?" He knows Lucifer is mocking him, but Adam isn't strong enough to care. He clings to Lucifer's affirmations in desperation, even if they're false.
"Of course, you know me! I love a good show and you, my friend, put on a damn good show! The guitar? You get better at it every year, don't you?"
"I guess..." Adam can feel himself blushing and he's glad he kept his mask on. He rubs the back of his neck and glances at Lucifer.
"And you're ruthless! You cut those sinners down with no remorse. When did you go from that scrawny, bumbling human to this?" Lucifer motions to Adam and then looks him up and down, gaining a glimmer to his eye, "I guess we would make a good team. But alas, you're on the wrong side." Lucifer winks at him.
"If you think I'm going to leave Heaven after all this and work for you, you're delusional." He can't help but smirk at their banter. It doesn't take much for Lucifer to have him crawling back to him like a starving dog, does it? He is pathetic.
"I wouldn't ask that of you, Adam. I know where you stand as you know where I stand. Again, destined for different paths and all that."
There's a short silence that falls between them.
"Hey, Luci?"
"Resorting back to old nicknames, are we?" Lucifer nudges Adam's foot with his own. "What is it, Adam?"
Adam leans over and gently touches Lucifer's chin, turning his head so that they are face to face. He pauses, waiting for permission.
"Well, Adam? Go on."
Adam presses his mouth to Lucifer's. Kissing through the mask is always an odd sensation, like there is a layer of static between them. But he can feel the curve of Lucifer's lips against his own and though he can't taste him, it's satisfying enough. When he pulls away, Lucifer's smile is soft but still sly.
The ringing of a clock tower striking midnight rings out and the booms of fireworks rumble in the distance. Adam sighs. "Time to go."
"I will see you next year, correct, Adam?"
"What do you think, asshole?"
"I'll be waiting, then."
Adam stands up and doesn't look back as he opens the doors to the balcony, spreads his wings, and takes off into the red, glowing sky.