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There was a hushed silence among the members of the congregation, all standing with their hands clasped as the preacher's smooth voice spread over the pews.
"Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven. Amen."
"Amen." Sasha solemnly repeated, bowing his head in reprise before letting his eyes flutter back open.
"Thank you all for coming. God bless." He trained his eyes back on the preacher as he said his goodbyes, slotting a bookmark into a Bible whose cover looked worn with years of use, various annotated tabs, and sticky notes lining the dog-eared pages.
He watched the confident stride of the man as he made his way down the stage steps and to the front rows, shaking hands with old and new members of the church alike, laughing and talking his way through the crowd.
Sasha blinked when a tanned hand reached out towards him, and by instinct he reached out to take it with his own, looking up at the owner.
"Glad you could make it, Sasha."
He gulped as he returned the handshake, feeling a heat spread over his face and onto his ears.
"Thanks."
Warm brown eyes squinted happily at him before he moved on to the next group of people, greeting them happily the same way he had just done to Sasha.
Ah, right. He wasn't any different.
He cleared his throat and bent to grab his items, trying to shove down the butterflies in his abdomen and drown them in stomach acid. However, guilt was quick to replace the fluttering feeling, and he found himself missing the earlier sensation.
The truth was, he had been feeling this way about Pastor Amir for a long time, probably longer than he would care to admit.
The family he grew up in was very loving, save for their conservative nature. He had been raised with the strict belief that one day he would grow up, meet a beautiful woman, and start a family, and he stuck with that fantasy into his adult years.
But that was before. Before he first laid eyes on the man that would shatter his worldview and send him into the sexuality crisis of a lifetime. Before Amir.
He had barely moved away from his family the first time they met. It was the first time he had been away from home for so long, and he sought the comfort of something familiar, something to quell the nonstop pangs of homesickness.
He turned to the church. Beautiful gothic 16th-century architecture and intricate stained glass windows drew him in, and he found himself sitting among the empty pews on a chilly Tuesday night, head resting on his clasped hands as he begged silently for the strength to go on.
He had jumped out of his seat, narrowly stopping himself from swearing in surprise by clasping his hand over his mouth when Amir seemed to mysteriously appear out of nowhere, resting a calming hand on his shoulder.
"Ah- I'm sorry for startling you. You should've seen your face just now, you looked like a scared little owl." He chuckled. "I saw you sitting here, and thought I'd bring you this."
He stuck a steaming mug of tea into Sasha's face, staring expectantly. Sasha blinked at him, unmoving for three beats before he snapped out of it, accepting the cup with two hands, hissing slightly when it burned his fingers.
The mug was somewhat more of a novelty item; a seemingly hand-carved wooden owl with intricate etchings and big eyes.
Amir had taken his acceptance of the mug as an invitation to sit next to Sasha, their legs pressing together in disregard to either of their personal spaces.
"It's chamomile." Amir filled the silence, gesturing to the tea that Sasha was blowing on, rotating the cup in his hands every few seconds so it didn't rest on the bare skin for too long.
"Thank you." Sasha murmured hoarsely, hoping it didn't sound like he was about to cry.
Thankfully, the man didn't dwell on it, instead picking up his hands to gesture animatedly as he spoke.
"I don't recall seeing you around here before. I'm Amir."
He stuck his slender hand out to Sasha, who released a hand from the mug to shake it. The hand was warm and soft, save for a few calluses budding on his fingers, likely from holding a pencil for a prolonged period of time.
He was quick to release Amir's hand but found himself strangely missing the contact as soon as it was gone.
"Sasha." He returned, taking a good look at the other man for the first time.
He had beautiful, silky dark brown curls, big round eyes of the same color framed by long lashes, a curved nose that led to plush pink lips, and a defined jaw that was graced by a 2 week's growth of stubble.
In other words, he was extremely handsome.
Sasha felt his face heat up as he trained his eyes back on the swirling liquid, blowing lightly before taking a sip.
I mean, he wasn't gay , right? Sasha, if you have to ask yourself that question-
He didn't finish the thought, taking another sip of the honey-sweetened tea and sighing in relief, the liquid sitting warmly in his previously churning stomach.
"It's good, right? I picked an extra special blend because you looked pretty out of sorts when you walked in here."
Oh.
"How long have you been watching me for?"
"Oh, you know, since you walked in and took a seat back here. One can never be too cautious. I extend my hand to those in need, but some are more of the wanting variety."
"So this is your church." Sasha hummed, taking a chance to survey the beautifully decorated interior, made more surreal by the candlelight reflecting off of the stained glass depictions of various religious figures.
"If you're trying to call me God-ishly handsome, you could've just said that." Amir nudged Sasha in the side, a twinkle of mirth in his eye as he giggled.
Sasha felt himself grow even more red than he likely was and he took another sip to hide his face, which only made Amir cackle harder at his own joke.
"No, seriously though, I kid, yes, I am the pastor here, if that's what you were asking. I will always be here if you need me, Sasha." Amir ducked his head to meet Sasha's gaze, and his eyes looked almost painfully sincere as he reached out to place a hand on his back.
Sasha felt a shiver run up his spine, and he nodded almost too quickly, trying to play it cool.
"Alright." Amir hummed, patting his back twice before he stood up with a grunt, stretching out his arms. "I'll leave you to it. Give me a holler if you need anything!"
And with that, he was gone, leaving Sasha with a warm mug of tea and a tingling feeling imprinted onto his spine.
Sasha couldn't sleep that night, left staring holes into the ceiling of his apartment as his interaction with Amir played over and over in his mind.
It didn't help that he had forgotten to return the owl mug, so there it sat, staring at him from his desk, silently screaming: return me!
Sasha sighed and rolled over, resting his head on his arm as he tried closing his eyes for the nth time. How did he feel about Amir?
He was undoubtedly attractive, but there wasn't anything inherently wrong with finding another man good-looking. He was also funny, warm, kind, pretty, pretty, and pretty.
He was also very personal, quick to physically offer Sasha comfort even though they were strangers, and he made him feel welcome.
Sasha couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if they were more than strangers. Meaning… friends, right? Right.
He closed his eyes, letting that white lie comfort him to sleep.
After that night, Sasha quickly realized he did not mean friends. Each time he saw Amir, whether in passing or when he directed a crowd in prayer, his palms grew clammy and his heart rate would rise. At this rate, he would end up dead with a chronic case of heart-bursting-through-chest-itis.
At first, he couldn't fathom the idea of himself having a crush- what a funny word- on the pastor of the church of all people. He had never found himself feeling this way for another man previously, so why now?
He had gone to an all-Catholic school, where they were vehemently taught that boys would like girls, and girls would like boys, and that was that. But now, Sasha was a man, and it wasn't feeling quite so black and white.
He told himself that he would stop going to the church, that he'd join a different one where he wasn't faced with agonizing over Amir's beauty each time he wanted to worship. But something drew him back each time, and he eventually stopped fighting against it, because if God didn't want Sasha to admire Amir, he wouldn't have made him so handsome.
Sasha had also become an established member of the congregation, who were all as equally welcoming as Amir. He quickly became part of the family, being invited to potlucks and bake sales, and he even had the opportunity to help out at Sunday school, teaching some of the younger children about the word of God.
Amir had pulled him aside afterward, leaning on one of the hallway walls as he tried and failed to suppress a smile.
"I think they like you. You should… come around more often, I think it'd be great for the kids."
Sasha rubbed his neck, unable to stop a blush rising to his face from Amir’s praise as he nodded humbly.
"I would be honored to." Because how could he refuse when Amir was looking at him with those big doe eyes? How could he refuse when he smiled so happily at his acceptance, clasping his hands together in excitement as he exclaimed "That's great!" How could he, when he'd probably follow Amir to the death if given the chance?
"We're going to be spending a lot more time together, you and I."
God, Sasha hoped so.
Instead of pouring out the confession that was on the tip of his tongue, he just nodded and smiled politely, pulling at his collar which suddenly became way more stifling.
…
Amir and Sasha grew closer after that, and he had the opportunity to learn more about Amir's personal life after a church event, both of them taking a break from cleaning for a moment to talk in one of the back rooms. They stood side to side, giggling over some story that was probably funny at the time, but the only thing Sasha could find himself remembering from the moment was how pretty Amir was when he was laughing. They ended up on the topic of themselves, and how they had come to be there, two foreigners ending up in some random Midwest town.
He learned that Amir had grown up in the capital of Morocco, and had once loved a wife and daughter before… Amir had trailed off then, a faraway look in his eyes before he took a shaky breath and continued. He had moved to America in his late twenties to get away from it all and turned to religion to get himself out of the dark place he was in.
“And now I’m here.” Amir shot him a small smile, eyes briefly tinged with sadness before it was blinked away as quickly as it appeared, replaced by the same gleam of mischief that Sasha had grown to love as he nudged him with his shoulder.
“Don’t let me just ramble, now. Tell me about yourself. And don’t try to tell me you’re from around here, I can recognize the northern Russian dialect from a mile away.”
Sasha hummed, impressed. “Yes, well you’re right, I grew up in Severomorsk and moved here not long before you and I met, actually.” He confessed, shyly tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “Being so far away from home is… a challenge, to say the least.”
“And to say the most?”
“Ah, well... that’s-” Amir placed a hand on Sasha’s back and his breath hitched, not going unnoticed by the other man.
“Are you alright, Sasha?”
OhGodI’mgoingtohaveaheartattack- “Yes, I-I’m fine it’s just a little chilly in here.” He lied badly, voice coming out a pitch higher than he would’ve liked. He cringed inwardly.
“Really? I would’ve thought you were used to the cold.” Amir joked, chuckling while reaching to grab Sasha’s hand, sending the already flustered man reeling.
“Your hand is so warm also… are you sure you don’t have a fever?”
“I don’t think so, I-” Amir raised the back of his hand to Sasha’s forehead, checking his temperature and tutting softly.
“Nonsense, you’re burning up. Here, little owl, let me brew you some tea.”
Sasha was too caught up on the pet name to argue, and he dazedly followed Amir to his kitchen where he immediately set a kettle to boil.
Amir pulled out two matching mugs from a large collection in a cabinet, and he hummed quietly while sifting through a drawer filled with expensive-looking teas before settling on a peppermint blend.
“Oh, right, I haven’t returned the mug you gave me yet!” Sasha smacked a palm to his forehead, remembering how it currently still sat on his apartment counter, right near the door so he could grab it before leaving, but each time he got so caught up in his excitement to see Amir that he ended up forgetting it.
“Ah, you’re right, I had almost forgotten.” He chuckled, his back turned to Sasha as he rummaged for some spoons. “You should keep it, I think it suits you better.”
“What? I couldn’t possibly accept it, it’s yours, I wouldn’t want to-”
Amir laughed, cutting off Sasha’s rambling with a shake of his head.
“What are material items in a physical world, Sasha? If anything, let it be a token of my appreciation. I’ve grown quite fond of you, I admit.”
Sasha went home with an extra spring in his step that day.
…
Autumn had brought orange-red leaves and cold rain, moisture hanging thickly with a special crisp in the air. It had been a few months since Sasha had moved there, and by far this had been his favorite season. Sometimes, when it was just right, he could close his eyes and imagine he was back in Russia during the summertime when the days became longer and the nights less bitterly cold.
Sasha stepped out of his apartment, sucking in a deep breath and letting the air fill his lungs before exhaling out a foggy cloud of vapor. He couldn't help himself from smiling before straightening his tie, spinning his keys around his finger, and walking to his car.
The church service went like any other, with Sasha's eyes glued on Amir the entire time, so spaced out that he didn't even realize it was over until a hand tapped him on his shoulder, and he found himself once again staring into beautiful brown eyes.
Huh… they have a speck of hazel in them… “Amir!”
"Sasha! Glad you could make it, my measured friend. Can I speak to you for a moment?"
Sasha nodded dumbly and followed Amir to a more separate corner from the crowd, staring at the top of his head as he walked and waited for an explanation that he never received.
Once Amir decided it was a good place to stop, far enough from prying ears, he leaned into Sasha, cupping a hand around his mouth as he whispered.
"I'm having a little gathering at my house later this week, would you like to come?"
Sasha quirked an eyebrow. "Isn't this your house?"
Amir waved a hand in dismissal, shrugging his shoulders. "Hey, what do you know? How convenient, looks like you already know the address. Are you coming?"
"Uh… I‐"
"-There's going to be dancing. And music!"
He looked side to side before continuing.
"And some nice things to sip on."
"Is that why you were whispering?" Sasha quirked an eyebrow as he replied drily.
"I have a reputation to uphold! Plus, I'm pretty sure those kids over there are trying to listen and I don't want them telling everyone and their mother."
The group of kids (who were, in fact, listening) scrambled away after realizing they had been caught eavesdropping on the adults.
"What's the party for, anyways?"
"Ah, we have one every year. It's something nice for the community, and I wanted to personally invite you! Don't… go spreading the news either though, I don't want the police to show up… again."
Amir looked up at Sasha, begging him to go with big round eyes and a slight pout on his full lips.
Sasha chewed at his bottom lip, trying to come up with a reason not to go to the party where he'd inevitably drunkenly embarrass himself in front of the man he was hopelessly smitten with but…
"I'll go." His mouth unhelpfully supplied, curling into a smile that he hoped looked genuine enough as his mind flashed with everything that could go wrong. He could let something slip and reveal his feelings, or he might get too close to Amir, the lines he stuck to so strongly getting blurred by liquor. Or he could just make a giant fool of himself, more than he already was for falling in love with the local pastor.
And yet, none of that mattered when Amir’s face lit up and he smiled so brightly that it could have rivaled the sun.
“When is it?”
“Next week on Monday.” Amir cleared his throat and offered a wry smile. “I wouldn’t particularly enjoy preaching with a hangover, you see, and I doubt anyone would enjoy going to the service with one either.”
If the average outcome of that party left everyone with a hangover, it became clear why Amir didn’t want word to get out, especially not to the police.
“So I’ll see you there? At 11PM?”
“I won't miss it.”
Sasha was so screwed.
…
The days went by almost too fast for Sasha’s liking, until he found himself in front of his mirror, looking at his outfit for the fifth time that night.
Was he too dressed up? Was it not enough? He shrugged on an overcoat that he’d taken off and put back on what felt like 100 times already, and he smoothed his hair into its usual updo- half up and half down. The perfect mix of casual and… classy? He sighed, rubbing his chin.
He took his hair out of the elastic band and looked at his reflection once more. He nodded, leaving the band on his wrist before slipping out his door, letting the night air cool off his nervous sweat.
He planned to scope out the crowd before going in, hoping to get an idea of what the dress code was. He regretted not asking Amir for more details, but he had already felt like he was parroting off more questions than was appropriate.
Sasha exhaled slowly and shakily once he pulled into the parking lot, already bustling with people who had shown up at the same time as him, or who were meeting up with their church friends. There were too many cars in the parking lot for it to be still considered a "small" gathering, and he mentally shook a fist at Amir.
It definitely came as a shock to see even some of the more conservative people who were regulars at the church pulling up in fancier short dresses and dress shirts buttoned so low there probably wasn't even a point to button it at all.
Definitely no overcoat. He tossed it to his passenger seat and loosened his tie, hoping that his outfit would be somewhat appropriate for the theme.
He took a deep breath before pushing out of his car door, nodding politely and exchanging greetings with a younger pair of girls he recognized as regular churchgoers, both definitely less modestly dressed than he was used to.
“Hey Sasha! Are you ready to have some fun?” Tayane grinned, looping an arm around her girlfriend's shoulders and slapping him on the back so hard it knocked the breath out of his lungs for a second.
“Oh please, by 'fun' you mean ‘getting shit faced drunk.’” Klara snorted, reaching up to link fingers with Tayane.
For a moment Sasha felt a pang of jealousy. Not out of feelings for one of the girls, but of what they had, their confidence, and openness in their relationship, even though it was something a few people still didn't agree with.
“Same thing.” Tayane shrugged, leading the group through the interior and to the lobby, which was completely transformed with balloons, streamers, and an almost suspicious amount of confetti.
They heard the music pulsing from within the main room and wasted no time before pushing the large double doors open, immediately faced with a scene that definitely wasn’t church-appropriate.
The pews had been moved to the side, allowing for a huge area in the middle that was currently filled with a sea of bodies dancing, and drinking, and Sasha was pretty sure he saw a select few people’s bodies way too close to each other.
The room was dark, barely lit by a few generously placed strobe lights and the kind of lights you would see shining from karaoke machines, both doing little to aid in visibility.
Yep, those were definitely the children's karaoke machines.
Sasha couldn’t lie to himself though, Amir definitely knew how to throw a party. Speaking of which, where was he?
He scanned the crowd, eyes flitting uninterestedly over it until he saw Amir, lit up by a strobe light as he laughed, holding a cup of, well, something, and talking to a group of people whose faces weren't all too important to Sasha.
Tayane’s eyes tracked Sasha’s gaze and she gasped, nudging Klara and whispering something in her ear that they both giggled at.
“No way, you’ve totally got the hots for Amir!”
“Klara, shh!”
“Oh. Sorry. But you do, don’t you?”
Sasha blushed, a denial getting caught in his throat as he looked up again to see that Amir had disappeared from where he had just seen him.
“He does!”
Already too far in to deny it, Sasha tilted his head to the floor, shaking it side to side.
“Okay… maybe-”
“-I’m glad you all could make it!” Amir appeared out of nowhere, making Sasha jump. He mentally thanked the Lord that he hadn’t continued talking, having been just two seconds from confessing his love for Amir.
He hadn’t even had any alcohol yet, and the night had almost been a disaster.
“Thanks,” The girls giggled behind him, one of them nudging Sasha forward and making him stumble mere inches from Amir’s face, both of them turning wide-eyed in shock.
Sasha couldn’t help himself, eyes flicking to Amir’s slightly parted lips, able to hear the way he sucked in a breath of air to speak and able to smell the expensive cologne dabbed onto his neck.
And as quickly as it happened, his eyes flicked back up, apologizing rushedly to Amir, and looking back over his shoulder to shoot a glare at the girls who had rapidly vacated, spotting Klara holding out two thumbs up to him on the dance floor.
He turned back to Amir, smiling sheepishly at him.
“What’s wrong, Sasha? Can’t handle your liquor? Or did you just want to be this close to me?”
Amir grinned mischievously, and Sasha could smell the whiskey on his breath.
“I actually haven’t had anything to drink… yet.”
“Oh dear, why are you holding back? Here, follow me, I’ll show you where I keep the good stuff.”
Amir grabbed his hand, pulling him along so he had no choice but to follow him as he made his way through the crowd with ease.
They walked past the table covered in various liquors, past lines of people who were all in varying states of soberness, and to a small back room, covered in storage containers where Amir dug for a few moments before supplying an aged-looking whiskey bottle, likely what he had been drinking earlier.
“Ah, here we go.”
He brandished the bottle to Sasha, clearly proud of his find before unceremoniously popping off the lid, handing it to him.
He pulled out an unsuspecting plastic cup from a different container, grabbing the bottle back from Sasha to pour him a good amount of liquid.
“You’ve never tasted whiskey like this, I'll tell you that.”
Sasha hummed, taking a sip, the smoky taste quickly spreading on his tongue and down his throat, leaving a warm burn in its wake.
Amir chuckled, filling his own cup back up as he observed Sasha’s reaction.
“You like it?”
I like you. “Yes, it tastes wonderful, thank you, Amir. But I have to ask, why did you bring me specifically to have some?”
His curious brain got the better of him, trying to assign some possible meaning to Amir’s generosity, and couldn’t help but ask why.
“Because…” Amir wet his lips, the movement of his tongue mesmerizing Sasha as he looked to the side, pausing to think for a moment.
“...maybe I wanted to be alone with you.”
Sasha’s face flushed, and his mouth parted in surprise, heart caught in his throat as he waited for Amir to elaborate further, something that never came.
“Amir, I- you-”
“Shh, dear Sasha, listen to that.”
He stopped to listen over his own thumping heartbeat, hearing smooth electric guitar and soft drums filling the air between them.
“Do you want to dance?”
Amir had a twinkle in his eye, and Sasha just couldn’t say no, returning the grin the pastor had on his face and setting his cup on the floor, Amir doing the same.
Amir initiated the contact, holding out his hand for Sasha to take, bowing in his middle, and asking for Sasha’s hand in a dance dramatically.
Sasha giggled, taking it and pulling Amir’s hand to his waist in a moment of confidence. And Amir left it there, moving his other hand to interlock with Sasha’s as they began to sway slowly to the music.
His eyes lidded, tilting his chin down slightly to look into Amir’s eyes, whose face was way too sultry for his own good.
They spun to the slow rock song, eyes locked in a challenge as if the first to look away would lose.
There wasn’t much room to spin in the small storage closet, but they managed, having to hold their bodies close, close enough where they were sharing body heat, close enough that it would just take one lean in and their lips would be pressed together…
Sasha looked at Amir’s lips again, and he smirked, following his gaze.
“You like what you see?”
Sasha inhaled sharply, eyes flicking back up to meet Amir’s. But his eyes were trained onto Sasha’s lips, before looking through his eyelashes back up at him.
He sucked in a shaky breath. The song crescendoed.
And suddenly they were kissing , hot and breathy and tasting like whiskey. Sasha grabbed at Amir’s shirt, and Amir ran his hand up from Sasha’s waist to the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair as he kissed deeper, licking at his lips for access that was quickly granted.
Sasha whined as the tongue tangled with his own, pulling Amir closer to him by his shirt until their bodies were flush, gasping when he felt the half-hard dick pressing into his thigh.
They parted for air, chests heaving as their foreheads pressed together, breathing in the same air as they both came to terms with what just happened.
“Sasha, I-”
“Amir, I-”
They both giggled, Amir looking up and Sasha looking down, both scanning the other’s face to gauge how they were feeling.
Well, not like Sasha couldn’t gauge how Amir was feeling, as he either had a banana in his pocket or was really excited to just have kissed Sasha.
Now it was Amir’s turn to blush, looking to the side as he chuckled awkwardly.
“Amir.” Sasha whispered, gambling everything in this one moment. Amir turned back to him, face beautifully embarrassed.
Sasha raised his hand to grab Amir’s chin, pulling him into another kiss that was softer but still filled with the same amount of passion as the earlier one. He let himself relax when Amir kissed back, leaning into Sasha and wrapping his arms around his waist.
And Amir used that to push their hips together, making Sasha moan into the kiss as their legs slotted together.
Oh God, this was really happening.
Sasha felt his blood start to rush south, and goosebumps raised along his back as Amir kissed down his jaw and started to mouth along his neck, hot and hungry.
Insecurity reared its ugly head, and Sasha reached out to grab onto Amir’s shoulder, temporarily stopping him in his ministrations.
"I've never… been with a man before," He whispered, fingers tensing in Amir's shirt as he waited for the other to say something, anything to help ease the uncertainty churning in his stomach.
"But you want this, don't you?" Amir’s grin was lazy, and seductive as he rolled his hips forward, earning a groan from Sasha.
He nodded, chewing on his bottom lip as he screwed his eyes shut, letting his head loll back to the ceiling.
"Say it, say you want this, little owl, and it's all yours."
"I want it, I-I want you, Amir, I really do."
"You beg so prettily," Amir cooed, brushing a stray hair from Sasha's face. "Alright then, follow my lead. Don't think, just feel."
Sasha nodded in determination, focusing on clearing his mind as Amir dove in to kiss him again, and with the skillful mouth on his, he found that emptying his brain was a non-issue.
Amir licked at his bottom lip, and Sasha didn't have to be told twice to open up, letting the other trace out his mouth with his tongue. He couldn't help but inhale sharply when Amir slid his hands under the hem of his shirt, fingers feather-light against his skin before two palms splayed out across his torso.
They broke away for breath, and Amir snaked his hands higher, making Sasha's shirt ride up at the sides.
"I always wondered how your beautiful body would feel under my hands," He murmured, half to himself. "This is better than I could've ever imagined…"
And before Sasha could puzzle over the implications of that, Amir rolled his hips again with more urgency, chasing friction that was too dulled by thick fabric to do anything except make them both more desperate for it.
Sasha didn't realize they were moving until his back hit the wall of containers, and he was too dazed to care, eyes squeezed shut as Amir's pleased hum buzzed right into his mouth and reverberated across his body.
Their hips rutted together in a messy rhythm as Amir explored Sasha's pale skin, the buttons on his shirt straining to keep the fabric together as it bunched up under his arms, Amir's hands well up to his chest now.
Sasha shivered as Amir's thumbs ran over his nipples, squeezing at the flesh of his pecs greedily. They broke apart, and Sasha’s chest heaved into Amir’s touch as he looked past the stark contrast of large tanned hands kneading into his skin and down to where their crotches were flush, both straining uncomfortably against the fabric.
His gaze flew to the door, which had been extremely open the entire time, in which any passerby who had gotten curious enough to poke their heads in the small closet would’ve seen an all too vulnerable display from the both of them.
“Amir,” He gasped softly, gaze tearing away from the door to get the attention of the all too occupied priest who was using his newly freed mouth to kiss down Sasha’s chest, taking the small bud in between his lips and teasing it with his tongue.
Sasha moaned at the sight, hands flying to Amir’s shoulders to get him to focus on their current dilemma. This movement unbunched his shirt from under his arms, and it unfurled, cutting off Amir’s access to his new infatuation.
Amir pouted, pulling away from Sasha’s chest to look at him dazedly, his eyes unfocused and lips shiny with spit, a confused “Hm?” coming from him as he followed Sasha’s gaze to the door.
He blinked once, then his eyes opened almost comically wide as realization dawned on him, before returning to his collected self, smirking while giving him bedroom eyes that were way too arousing for Sasha’s wellbeing.
“Afraid of being caught, Sasha?”
“You aren’t?” Sasha raised a brow, bewildered.
“Not if you know how to be quiet.”
“Amir, please.” He begged, eyebrows threading together as he shook the other’s shoulders gently.
“Alright, Sasha. Let's do this the right way. Follow me, I’ll take you to my room.” Amir smoothed a hand through his hair and adjusted his pants so his boner wasn’t as painfully obvious. Sasha quickly did the same, wiping out the wrinkles in his shirt and pulling at his waistband, breath hitching in his throat at the slight friction the fabric caused.
Act naturally. He took a deep breath and put on his most nonchalant face as he followed Amir back out into the crowd, avoiding the eyes of everyone, especially Tayane and Klara’s because he knew exactly what it seemed like.
Thankfully, no one stopped them or paid them much mind, only continued to dance with an occasional person calling out a greeting to them as they passed.
Finally, they made it out to the foyer and down a hallway, passing the kitchen where they had shared a cup of tea and to a modest bedroom sparsely decorated by a few picture frames lining the walls.
He saw a younger Amir, smiling brightly at what appeared to be a ribbon-cutting ceremony, holding a large pair of scissors in front of the church. His eyes flicked to Amir’s bedside, where there lay a picture frame of Amir and a beautiful woman, joined at the hip at a wedding reception, staring into each other's eyes, love radiating from the picture itself.
Sasha felt like he was intruding on Amir’s privacy and looked away.
Amir shut the door behind him, clicking the lock before snaking his arms around Sasha's sides, using muscle memory to deftly loosen his tie and undo his buttons while running his lips across the back of his neck.
Sasha shivered, torn between leaning forward into his hands or backward to his mouth so he stood still, letting Amir undress him button by button until he reached the last one, leaving the tie hanging loosely around his neck as his shirt dropped to the floor.
He was spun around and pushed so his back collided with the sheets, the fabric cool against his bare skin as Amir's knee pressed into the mattress between his legs, looming over Sasha as he hastily undid his own shirt with less grace than he had with his.
Sasha pulled at Amir's loosened shirt, unable to hide his impatience as he joined their lips once again, high on the taste of Amir's mouth.
Amir caught himself with his hands on either side of Sasha's head, knee slotting up in between the Russian's legs to alleviate some of the pressure rising.
A muffled groan came from Sasha's throat as he rutted towards the contact, too exhilarated to be embarrassed at his own actions as he chased the pleasure.
But suddenly Amir removed his thigh, backing up with one last chaste kiss on his parted lips before he pulled at Sasha's belt, fingers shaking in his eagerness. Sasha helped move along the action, hooking his fingers under his waistband and sliding his pants down his thighs once the belt was unbuckled, wrestling the pants off his ankles along with his shoes and socks.
Sasha felt bare, vulnerable under Amir's gaze as more skin was exposed to him, the only things stopping him from being completely naked being his boxers and the tie that neither of them had bothered to remove.
He waited for Amir to make the next move and the priest took note of it, recognizing that Sasha was in unfamiliar territory.
"How do you want it, dearest?"
Sasha blushed, turning his head to the side as he huffed, unable to believe he actually had to voice his desires; it felt too embarrassing a task to bear.
He also wondered, what did he want? He was in the position of his dreams, and now all the possibilities swam in front of him, he just had to say something.
He had dreamt about having Amir on top of him and below him alike, dreams of the pastor underneath him and clinging onto his chest as he fucked him in just the right way, head tossed back and moaning as Sasha kissed his neck. But, he had also dreamt of Amir's smaller frame behind him, hand sliding down his spine to rest on the back of his throat while he pounded the life out of him, tsking and calling him dirty for wanting him in this way as Sasha sobbed in pleasure.
Sasha's dick throbbed. Okay, now he definitely knew which of the two he was more interested in at the moment.
"I want you to… fuck me, Amir." He mumbled, slowly raising his pleading eyes to meet Amir's and tugging at his shirt with his hand.
"What was that, sweet owl?"
Sasha was going to lose his damn mind.
"You heard me." He challenged, pushing the fistful he had of Amir's shirt against his chest as if to hand the reins to him, gaze steady and unbreaking into the other's eyes.
"My, how eager you are for someone who says he's never done this. Have you ever had anything up here before?" Amir teased, pressing the pad of his finger over Sasha's hole, grin widening when he squirmed at his touch.
"Just m-my fingers…" Sasha screwed his eyes shut, attempting to close his thighs to hide from Amir's scrutiny but finding himself unable to by hands forcing his legs wider.
"Don't hide from me, gorgeous. So naughty, fingering this pretty hole of yours." Amir kissed down his thigh, leaving a few lingering hickeys on the pale skin.
"What did you think of while touching yourself, hm? Did you think of me? Did you pretend they were my fingers stretching you out, wishing for something bigger, something that you could feel deep inside?"
Sasha moaned at his words, nodding his head quickly in agreement, not just because Amir was asking, but because it was true . More often than not he'd wake up from one of his dreams painfully hard, and sometimes, when the dreams were particularly detailed, he would need something more than just stroking himself to get off.
Amir had reached the base of his thighs at this point, his lips ghosting along the outline of Sasha's dick and his hot breath sending jolts up his spine.
He fought against himself to not rut towards his face, keeping his hips pinned to the bed as Amir hooked his fingers under the waistband of his boxers, dragging them down inch by inch until his dick bobbed out. Sasha sighed in relief as the pressure dissipated, finally free from the restrictive material as Amir slid them down his legs, the slender fingers of his other hand coming to wrap around his girth and give him some much-needed friction.
"Fuck yes, Amir, keep touching me, please please," Sasha whined pathetically, so pent up it damn near hurt.
Amir hummed, swiping a thumb through the precum beading from his tip and smearing it around the sensitive head, making Sasha writhe under him.
"What a shame… you have such a beautiful cock and you don't even want to use it. Don't worry, dear, I intend to put it to work next time."
The tease of there being a 'next time' went right over Sasha’s head as he instead focused on Amir calling his dick pretty, filled with a juvenile sort of giddiness that he liked what he saw.
And Sasha knew that he wasn't by any means average, possessing an impressive girth with a length that couldn't be scoffed at, but it meant all the more to be complimented by Amir.
He moaned a slurred apology as Amir began to stroke him slowly, clearly taking his time with Sasha.
Amir spat into the palm of his right hand, using the moisture to slick Sasha up from the base to tip. As good as it felt, Sasha was a little bit puzzled as to why Amir was focusing on his dick and not his own if he was going to be the one doing the fucking.
His questions were quickly answered when Amir bent down, flattening his tongue against Sasha's hole while stroking him rhythmically, rotating his wrist each time he reached the tip.
"Oh God…" Sasha half sobbed, fists clenching in the sheets. "Amir, fuck, don't-" He trailed off in a whine as Amir prodded his tongue against the opening, applying pressure until it pushed in slowly.
Oh… That's new. Sasha groaned as Amir drove the wet muscle deeper, feeling his insides slowly give way to allow it to pass through.
He squirmed, trying to pull away from the strange sensation but Amir just chased him, leaning forward and placing his free hand on Sasha's thigh, thumb spreading his cheeks open so he could place his lips flush to the hole.
Sasha panted as Amir flicked his tongue, legs tensing at each stroke and skillful lick. He couldn't believe he was in this situation with Amir; he was sure that this was just another perverse dream of his that he'd atone for later. It was better to ask forgiveness than permission, anyway.
"Amir!" He gasped as the Moroccan pulled away to spit on his hole before diving back in, his opening now thoroughly slick. "T-that's not necessary, I-I think that's enough."
Amir pulled off him slowly, the tip of his nose brushing against Sasha's skin as he crawled over his shivering body. Sasha whined into a heated kiss from Amir; knowing the tongue that was licking into his mouth had just been inside him felt so dirty, but he kissed back because it was Amir and he was hopelessly smitten.
A trail of saliva broke between them as they separated briefly, and Sasha licked his lips, smirking at Amir with lidded eyes as his chest heaved. He knew he must've made quite the sight, hair fanned out across the mattress beneath him and spit-slicked lips with a reddened face, the red blush trailing down to his neck and chest that were littered with marks and decorated with a wrinkled tie.
Sasha took it to his advantage, provocatively running his hand down his chest and spreading his legs open.
"Please, Amir," — he whispered, boring his eyes into the other's soul — "just take me already."
Amir inhaled sharply, murmuring a prayer under his breath as he reached towards his nightstand drawer with shaky hands, knocking over his picture frame and a pile of trinkets in his haste to dig for a condom.
"Sasha, love, I don't have any lube so I'll have to use my saliva. Is that alright? The last thing I want to do is hurt you."
Amir brushed the back of his hand over Sasha's cheek, making his heart leap helplessly in his chest as he nodded, willing to take anything he had to offer.
"Alright," Amir breathed, shrugging off his unbuttoned shirt and pulling at his belt so he could slide off his bottoms.
Sasha gulped as Amir's dick was revealed, the size a bit bigger than he had anticipated, making him wonder if it would fit in a place so small. His tip was an angry pink, and Amir swore as he wrapped a hand around the base, trying to calm himself down so he could roll on the condom.
A part of Sasha felt pride that he had such an effect on Amir, and he watched in rapt attention as he slid on the rubber, spitting on his hand and sliding it over his length.
He licked at his index finger, circling it around Sasha's rim and pressing it in shallowly to gauge how tight he still was. Sasha moaned softly at the feeling of how he still squeezed around the digit, making himself even more skeptical of Amir fitting inside him.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” Amir slid another finger in and stretched Sasha open, making his dick jolt and a strangled whine fall from his throat as his hair untucked from behind his ear and fell over his eye, the blonde not caring to brush it back.
“I’m ready, so ready, God, I need you…” Sasha tossed his head back, unable to look Amir in the eyes as he begged pathetically, legs shaking as the fingers retracted from inside him.
“Shh, don’t fret, my dear. Turn over, that’s it, on your knees and elbows, it'll be easier this way."
Sasha rested his head in his arms as he looked back at Amir, nerves making a chill run up his spine as he was spread open for the other, hands shamelessly kneading at his ass.
"So pretty…" Amir murmured absent-mindedly, digging his fingers into Sasha's firm muscle. "You, I mean. Well, your ass too, God has favorites I suppose." Amir giggled as he spread his cheeks open, slicking some spit across his opening once more before lining up his dick.
Sasha took a deep breath and focused on relaxing his muscles, knowing it was going to be a tight fit. His heart rate increased as he felt the blunt head pressing against him, meeting slight resistance before it pushed in shallowly.
They moaned in unison, Amir at the vice-like grip he had around him and Sasha at the feeling of being penetrated for the first time by something other than his own fingers.
He panted into the mattress, head hanging heavy as shameful whines fell from his bitten lips.
"Sl-slow down, дорогой," He gasped, reaching a hand back to rest on his rear self-soothingly.
"Sorry, sorry," Amir cooed, placing a hand over Sasha's carefully. "I don't have much self control right now, dearest, I've wanted you for so long…" He confessed, grip tightening in his.
"I mean, can you blame me? God, have you seen yourself?" He curved his spine to lean over Sasha’s ear, voice low and a bit strained. "I lusted for you, Sasha, needed you. And I know that makes me a sinner, a bad, bad man, but I can't help myself, when I see you I just-"
Sasha turned his head and locked lips with Amir, cutting off his passionate confession with his own, in a way.
Amir used the kiss to distract Sasha from the initial discomfort so he could press in slowly, swallowing the soft whimpers with his tongue and rubbing circles into the back of his hand.
And finally, he bottomed out. Sasha pulled away to heave in stuttering breaths, fingers indenting in his skin as his head spun, making him woozy with pleasure.
"How are you feeling? Is it alright?" Amir worried, running his hands down Sasha’s sides to calm some of the tension building on his back.
"It's good, so good, just, ah- just give me a moment."
He rested his forehead against the mattress and breathed out slowly before rocking his hips back experimentally, a soft sigh leaving his lips at the slight friction.
Amir was affected too, his breath hitching and his fingers digging into Sasha's muscle.
"Take all the time you need." He murmured, voice slightly strained as he focused on keeping it steady to hide his excitement.
When he got comfortable with rocking back and forth, he attempted a thrust, pulling forward until Amir was halfway buried in him then sliding back. He felt the air get fucked out of his lungs as he exhaled sharply, hand curling in the sheets.
"You can… start moving now." He whispered breathily, looking back over his shoulder and nodding in confirmation.
Amir bit at his lower lip as he pulled out until only the tip remained inside before starting a slow drag in and out, stopping halfway each time.
A low moan buzzed from Sasha's throat and his eyes fell closed, hand falling from his ass back onto the mattress for support.
His back arched, spine curving comfortably towards the mattress. "Deeper." He encouraged, shoving his face into the linen sheets to muffle his embarrassing noises.
Amir slid in until his pelvis was flush with Sasha's skin, sighing softly in satisfaction before speeding up and pulling the Russian back to meet his thrusts by his waist.
"O-oh да, yes, that's it, fuck me," He whined, his usual filter having left long ago along with his shame.
He sped up, slapping sounds quickly filling the small room and bouncing off the walls. "So fucking perfect, habibi, my sweetheart, my darling Sasha." Amir murmured praises ceaselessly, deep and low into Sasha's ears and straight to his dick, making it twitch at the attention.
Sasha sobbed out a moan, reaching a hand underneath his body to stroke himself and to collect the precum threatening to leak from his tip to save whatever cleanliness remained on the sweat-dirtied sheets.
Amir groaned as Sasha tightened around him from the pleasure at both sides. “You feeling good? Tell me, Sasha, was this what you imagined me doing to you e-each time you saw me preaching up there? Every time you closed your pretty little eyes, what were you imagining?"
His whole body shuddered as he felt himself growing closer to his peak with each touch, stroke, and thrust. A broken moan was the only thing that left his mouth as he turned his face to the side to get more air.
"Well, Sasha?"
"M-more, gimme more, go harder."
He was in his own world, eyes rolling to the back of his head as Amir granted his request, fucking him with abandon as he grew close to his orgasm.
"God, Sasha, you're something else." He panted, a bead of sweat trailing down his forehead. "You're so gorgeous, my own little angel, yet you beg like such a whore."
“ Yesyesyes, I-I can't help it, I need it, o-oh дерьмо, please…”
“You need it? Huh? Tell me you need me, say it.”
“I-I, oh God, yes, I need you Amir only you- hic- can make me feel like this!” He sobbed, tears beading on his pretty eyelashes.
“There you are, sweetheart, was that so hard? No other man could fulfill you the way I can, I've ruined you for anyone else.”
Amir leaned down to pepper light kisses across his neck, then dragged his tongue along it, making Sasha shudder.
“Are you crying, dear? Aww, honey, you've gotten so sloppy for me, such a mess…”
Sasha whimpered, nodding and stroking himself faster at Amir’s harsh words. He hadn't known he had a thing for degradation, but it was never too late to learn something new.
"That's it, keep touching yourself sweetheart, come undone, just like that."
"Amir! I'm guh-gonna come, please, don't stop, dontstopdontstop I'm-!"
Sasha all but sobbed as he spilled over his fist, legs shaking as he pulsed one, two, three times, cumming ropes onto Amir's bed.
Amir's nails dug into Sasha's skin, moaning shakily as his hips bucked into the tight heat, losing his pace but still focusing on thrusting hard. Sasha's moans climbed in pitch as the sensitivity got to him, and he reached his hand back to reach for Amir, beckoning him to link their fingers.
He smiled at the unexpectedly cute display, squeezing his hand to let him know that he had him, that he was there.
"I've got you, Sasha, I-I’m close, just hold on."
Sasha squeezed his hand as Amir filled up the condom, thrusting a few more times before he finished, pulling him as close as possible.
He was content to stay like that for a while, closing his eyes as his chest's heaving became less dramatic. But Amir had a different idea, pulling out slowly with a soft moan and sliding the condom off into the waste bin.
Sasha rolled over on his back to the side of the bed that wasn't cum stained and watched Amir as he made his way around the room, coming back with a box of wipes to clean him off.
He felt his eyes grow heavy as Amir ran the damp sheet over his body, stroking over his hair with the other hand.
He blinked wearily, satisfaction weighing down his limbs as he leaned against a soft pillow, making it all the more difficult not to fall asleep right on Amir's bed.
And then he was being pulled to stand, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he realized Amir probably didn't want him to stay, was probably ashamed he let this happen.
Sasha felt dumb. He pulled his stupid tie off and took a step to where his clothes lay in a heap on the floor, ready to do the walk of shame to his car and drive back home.
"Where are you going?" Amir asked, catching Sasha's hand and pulling him back, kissing him on the cheek. "I just want to change the sheets real quick, how else are we going to sleep? U-unless you want to leave…?"
He saw the insecurity and worry in Amir's eyes reflecting the feelings he had inside, and his heart skipped a beat.
"No!" He said almost way too quickly, clearing his throat as his ears turned red. "N-no, I'd like to stay, if you'd let me."
Amir smiled earnestly at him. He was quick to replace the sheets, gingerly taking his place on the bed and beckoning Sasha to lay next to him.
"Oh! What about the party?"
"They'll sort themselves out, they all know where they live, as long as they can tell it to an Uber they'll be okay. Now, what are you waiting for? Come lay next to me, sweetheart."
He shyly climbed on the bed as if they hadn't just had sex on it and laid next to Amir, biting back a smile.
"Someone's happy."
Sasha grinned and turned to the ceiling, putting a hand on his cheek as he tried and failed to suppress the glee on his face.
Amir giggled and placed his hand over Sasha's, pulling him into a deep kiss and swallowing his smug expression.
The kiss unintentionally grew deeper, a tangle of tongues that left them both breathless and blushing.
"Okay, no more of that, or I fear we may have to change the sheets again."
Sasha giggled and nodded, pulling Amir closer to him by looping his arms around his waist. His face was buried in between his pecs, and his voice came out muffled as he sighed contently. "I could die a happy man."
He rolled his eyes amusedly as he buried his face in Amir's soft hair, letting his fingers trace along tanned skin until sleep took him in.
…
Sasha woke up the next morning feeling more content than normal. He tried to stretch but was unable to due to a firm grip around one of his arms, a heavy weight on it.
He hummed sleepily, peeking open an eye and being met by Amir's calm, sleeping face resting on his shoulder.
The memories of their night together hit him like a freight train, and his face turned red as he remembered all the embarrassing things he had said and done under the influence of pleasure.
But at least Amir didn't seem to mind, seemingly not put off in the slightest if the way he was wrapped around Sasha's right side was any indication.
Sasha closed his eyes, wrapping his left arm halfway around Amir's body. He felt more comfortable than he had in months, having long missed the warmth of another body next to him.
He let Amir's soft breathing lull him back to sleep, and his dreams were a soothing haze of nothingness.
He woke up again a few hours later, feeling a little bit colder than he had earlier.
He turned to his side, a little sad when he saw an empty bed next to him, the sheets still warm with the remnants of body heat.
A sigh left him as he sat up under the blanket. It was nice while it lasted, he supposed. At least Amir left a change of clothes for him, that was nice.
He shrugged on clothes that were almost too small for him; it was a miracle they didn't tear at the seams, honestly, and he had just finished pulling on the shirt when the door opened up, revealing a very pleased Amir.
"Oh! You're awake! You were still dead asleep when I left, I was hoping to be done before you woke."
He walked into the room brandishing a plate that was fully decorated by an extravagant breakfast. Sasha gaped at him, having fully expected Amir to be done with him at this point.
He felt a little bad for assuming the worst of Amir, but he didn't want to get his hopes up for some whirlwind romance to happen.
But Amir was apparently very good at whirlwind romancing if the heap of warm foods he brought Sasha was any indication.
Sasha shut his shock-opened mouth with a snap of his teeth, taking the tray from Amir as he handed it over and set it on his lap.
"I-I can't possibly accept this, this is too much, I-"
His stomach rumbled and he blushed, hoping Amir didn't hear that.
"Are you sure you really want to deny it? I don't think your stomach would agree with that."
Sasha begrudgingly grabbed a fork, face red as he muttered something about how he was always making such a fool out of himself.
Amir sat down on the bed next to him, hand resting casually on Sasha's leg as he watched him bring the first forkful to his mouth.
He immediately caved, scarfing down a few mouthfuls before stooping to offer Amir some sheepishly, he was the one who cooked it, after all.
He took the fork from Sasha, taking a bite and humming appreciatively at the taste. They traded the utensil back and forth a few passes before Amir broke the silence again, turning to Sasha with an unreadable look on his face.
"What am I to you, Sasha?"
Sasha blinked a few times, surprised at the sudden question.
"I, well… you are…" He thought for a few moments. A friend wasn't right, not anymore, but neither was boyfriend, so he felt stuck. He tried a different approach, choosing his words carefully.
"I… really like you, Amir. Not just because of, well, all this-" He gestured to his body and the plate. "-but for you."
He licked his lips nervously, searching Amir’s face. His eyes were slightly widened in surprise, and he had a faint blush on his cheeks.
“I-I well, I…” Amir stammered, suddenly unable to find any words, an uncharacteristic shyness coming over him.
“Well… I like you too,” He grinned, feeling like he was in primary school again and he had just handed a pretty girl some flowers.
Sasha grabbed his hand and squeezed, unable to believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. “Am I still dreaming?” He whispered, almost inaudibly.
“Would I do this in your dreams?” Amir leaned in and pressed their lips together, cradling Sasha’s face gently.
They pulled apart briefly, and Sasha grinned at Amir.
“Probably.” His voice was lazy and he smiled into another deep kiss, wrapping his arms around Amir's waist and finally feeling like he belonged.