Chapter Text
“Yingxing…”
“Yes? What is it, my love?”
“There’s something I want to tell you, once this is over…”
Ever since he was born, Dan Heng knew something was strange about him. Nothing that was related to the sins of his past life, his heritage or his banishment. He didn’t know what but he knew it was something important and made him be careful over certain things. During his time in the Shackling Prison, Dan Heng would wake up nauseous on days on end. It exhausted him even more as he tried to not show it in front of others. It wasn’t until after he met the man with the beastly red eyes and a shattered sword after his banishment from the Xianzhou.
By the time he hoped to be in relative safety for a few days, his constant nausea was somehow gone and remained that way for quite some time. It continued for years before meeting Himeko, the navigator and engineer of the Astral Express. Although he knew better than to simply let his guard down even at something like the Astral Express. However, it gave him well deserved peace from the constant running around from spaceship to spaceship, from planet to planet.
It has been some time since Dan Heng joined the Astral Express, everything has been going smoothly except for the nightmares Dan Heng keeps being plagued by. Some of his past life as High Elder Dan Feng, the sinner, while most were about the man with red eyes out to kill him that he now knew as Blade from the many wanted posters he’s seen from the different planets he and the seniors of the Express were visiting.
Welt and Himeko were understanding of Dan Heng’s situation and his natural close off nature from his time as a runaway and wanderer. Being the archivist of the crew, Dan Heng could spend many hours reading just as the times in the Shackling Prison, the only times he let his mind wander. Himeko and the small conductor, Pom-Pom, have tried to give him a room of his own and while this was a kind gesture, the Vidyadhara rather not take unnecessary space when he doesn’t know how long he’ll be with them so he slept on a futon in the Archives. It was warm enough for him and let him close to books that help his mind get to work as he edited the data bank with information with updates since the last time the Astral Express was functioning.
Now in the present, Dan Heng was waking up from a well deserved sleep he had been avoiding for some time but this time, he was a lot more tired than he used to. It was unusual but it wasn’t long before the overwhelming feeling of nausea overcame him and quickly brought his hand over his mouth.
‘Why…?’ Dan Heng asked himself as he slowly stood up, using the railing to stabilize himself, ‘Ugh… Why now?’
He needed to get to the bathrooms, one of the cons of living in the archives. The bathrooms are further away compared to other rooms in the Express. The archivist prayed that the rest of the small crew was still asleep as he left the archives and walked unsteadily through the hallway towards the bathrooms. However, by the time Dan Heng was close to the door to the next car, he fell to the ground and threw up the food from the day before. One of the doors rushed open and Dan Heng didn’t like that, he didn’t want anyone to see him like this.
“...Goodness!” The voice of a concerned Himeko exclaimed, the sound of running around on the carpet of the car didn’t make Dan Heng any less ashamed that someone had to see this. He didn’t want anyone to see him vulnerable, kneeling on the floor, vomiting and coughing. “Welt! I need some help here!” Hearing the running towards him, he didn’t have any energy to look up from looking at the floor when caring hands placed themselves over his shoulders, “Everything is going to be okay, Dan Heng. Just get it all out.”
The young man tries to breathe before vomiting again as he hears what must be Welt running to them, “What happened?”
“I don’t know. I was fixing my hair when I heard something outside my room and found him like this.” Himeko explained the situation.
“... I-I… I’m-” Dan Heng tried to say something as he breathed only to be cut off by Himeko, “You don’t need to apologize, Dan Heng. Being sick is natural, no need to feel like you are a bother.”
“I-I’ve…” Dan Heng swallowed, his throat feeling like glass cut him open, “I’ve been like this…for a long time…”
“Let’s get you back to the Archives so you can lay down and get you some water.” Welt suggested, “Think you can stand?”
Dan Heng nodded as he got help to stand by Himeko as he was unsteady and exhausted, “Take your time, okay?”
The disguised Vidyadhara hummed as he was transferred to Welt, who was dressed in a robe and pajamas still unlike Himeko; who was already dressed in her iconic white dress. Dan Heng had expected them to ask him more questions but they weren’t, he was surprised. It was a blur by the time the senior coaxed Dan Heng down on his futon, sigh of relief from the soft comfort of the thin mattress and the warmth from the servers in the room. Welt placed the cover over the young man with a worried look behind his glasses.
After a little while, Welt looked up at the sound of the Archives’ door opening with Himeko carrying a small tray with a glass of water, a mug of something warm (hopefully not coffee) and a bowl of soup.
“How is he?” The navigator asked as she placed the tray on the desk.
“Resting.” Welt answered as he looked at the sleeping young man before placing a hand on him, shaking him lightly, “Dan Heng, Himeko brought some things for you.” Dan Heng opened his eyes gently and slowly sat up, not wanting to get nausea again from sitting up too fast.
Himeko took the glass of water and gave it to Dan Heng, “I’ve also brought some warm tea and some soup if you can manage. Pom-Pom is cleaning up.”
After taking a few sips, Dan Heng replied hoarsely, “Thank you, Himeko. I’ll try later, I wanna make sure it passes.”
“You said you’ve been dealing with this for a long time, do you know what might cause it?” Himeko asked cautiously, “You don’t have to answer if it makes you feel uncomfortable but we want to make sure that you are okay while with us.”
Dan Heng took a moment to think before replying, “My… situation is complicated and I don’t want you to get involved in my troubles. However… “ Pausing to take a deep breath, “... I’ve woken up with nausea constantly for years now. It will always happen when I wake up in the mornings. I’ve never checked why because I don't prefer to stay in the same place for very long.”
“We understand, Dan Heng.” Welt said gently. “Thank you for letting us know.”
“I have a proposal, you can decline if you like.” Himeko stated. “We are currently on course for Herta Space Station for supply restock and special delivery for Herta. When we get there, you and I go to the medical facility and get you checked up to see if we can find out what’s wrong. How about that?”
Dan Heng nodded in agreement, “I’ve held this off for too long now, might be a good way to see if they find anything concerning.”
“Good. For now, you should be resting until we arrive and gather your strength.” Welt pointed out, standing up from the floor with his joints making sounds as he got to his feet. “If you need anything, call for me, Himeko or Pom-pom for that matter. I’m sure they’ll be happy to help.”
Dan Heng sighed but accepted this, “Very well.”
With reassuring smiles, the seniors of the Express walked out of the archives as Dan Heng layed back down. Hopefully, this nap will help get him back into shape. But Himeko and Welt seemed to care about him a lot despite the distance he kept between him and them. Maybe, he should place some trust in them too.
Herta Space Station was a common site for the Astral Express crew. They try to make frequent trips to the space station at the request of Herta, the owner of the station. From what Dan Heng has read about her from the network and Himeko, Herta was a member of the Genius Society and Emanator of Erudition. Just like he was a Scion of Permanence, as much as he tries to deny it. And also to restock some supplies that are quite useful from the space station during their travels.
Once they docked at the special railway for the intergalactic train, Himeko and Dan Heng hopped off first and after greeting some of the staff there to welcome them (Himeko doing most of the talking), the duo went their way to the Base Zone to visit one of the doctors on the station to examine Dan Heng for any abnormalities. Himeko had managed to get in contact with one of the doctors to explain the symptoms as well as a private examination, considering that most of the examinations done in the Space station are from the big machines.
As they arrived at the reception, a woman by the name of Amelia greeted them and showed them the room where they would hold the examination. The room is what you would expect from a normal examination room. Dan Heng sat down on the examination table while Himeko sat down in a chair next to it.
“So, Dan Heng…” Amelia started as she sat down on another chair, “Himeko told me you’ve been dealing with nausea for quite some time. Can you explain to me how you feel and when it usually happens?”
“It normally happens when I wake up after turning in for the night.” The young Nameless explained as much as he can. “Normally, it is just mild nausea that I wait out to pass. However, there have been times where it is very strong to the point of vomiting.”
Writing this down on paper, Amelia hummed, “I have a guess but it is a stretch. I have to do an ultrasound to make sure. However, considering the Nameless often come from different planets, it might be possible. Please remove your jacket and pull up your shirt from your stomach for me then lay down, I’ll be back shortly.”
Dan Heng did what Amelia said and gave his coat to Himeko, moving up his shirt up to his chest and laid down before the doctor walked back in. With her rolling in, was a machine that she placed next to the table and plugs it in. Amelia then got some gloves and a bottle of a light blue color.
“This is going to be pretty cold, just warning you but it is necessary.” The doctor explained as she put on the machine and poured some of the gel on Dan Heng’s stomach. Amelia wasn’t kidding when she said it was cold, it brought a chill through his spine. “Now just relax and we’ll if we find anything.” Amelia takes up the wand of the machine and moves it around his stomach.
Everything was quiet except the humming of the machine, but then a sound came out when Amelia looked in the lower part of his stomach. Dan Heng heard it clearly. It seemed Himeko heard it too. Amelia moved it carefully around and there was the sound again, loud and clear in a rhythm as well as a mass of something appearing on the screen.
“This is unexpected and expected at the same time.” Amelia pointed out, a little surprised while keeping it professional. “That is a fetus with a strong heartbeat.”
Dan Heng could only stare at the screen in shock. Vidyadhara was known for not being able to make or carry offspring, the whole reason why his race was dying. But here he was, carrying a living being in his body for years on end. Dan Heng hasn’t been involved in sexual relationships or intercourse since his banishment and even back then, his social circle was extremely limited. Could the fetus have survived from a reincarnation?
“H-How long…?” Dan Heng asked shakenly from this revelation.
“I would say 11 weeks into the first trimester from their size and development.” Amelia explained as she pointed at the different parts that she could see on the screen, “Here’s a head and what looks like hands and feet developing. Dan Heng, your pregnancy has been the cause of your nausea. However, you’ve had nausea for a long time?”
“Y-Yes, I’m from a race with a close tie to an Aeon.” Dan Heng explained, hoping that Himeko can keep it a secret.
“I see. That might explain the lack of development as the DNA of an Aeon might complicate things.” The doctor said as she tabbed the screen to stop the image. “I will print some pictures for you if you decide to keep it and prescribe some vitamin supplements that will calm the nausea that you need to take every day through the pregnancy. I will also give you a food plan of things to avoid during pregnancy.”
Dan Heng only nodded as he absorbed the information as Amelia cleaned him up. The whole time the conversation was going on felt so surreal. Everything was going so fast as by the time Dan Heng was clear headed, he was sitting somewhere that wasn’t crowded to gather his thoughts while staring at the ultrasound pictures by the time Himeko arrived.
“I got your medicine, Amelia prescribed a pretty big amount so it should last long.” The red head told him before she noticed the unusual silence that was different from the other times and sat down next to him. “I understand it is a lot to take in.”
“It is.” Dan Heng breathed out as he caressed the photos, “My people are supposed to be incapable of producing offspring but somehow, I’m pregnant which should be impossible.”
Himeko raised an eyebrow, “Then explain to me why a young man is carrying women's genitalia?” Dan Heng blushed red as he realized it.
“I-It isn’t uncommon for my kind.” The Vidyadhara explained ashamed.
Himeko hugged him gently, “No need to be embarrassed for something out of your control. I was just teasing.” After a moment, Himeko brought up a problem as Dan Heng calmed down, “Do you wanna tell Welt and Pom-Pom about the baby?”
The young Nameless nodded, “Might as well but if we get more people on the Express than the ones currently, I'd rather keep it a secret until I start showing to the point I can’t hide it anymore.”
“Very well.” The inventor agreed. “However, when you get through your second trimester, whenever the baby starts growing again, you won’t be allowed to join expeditions until they’re born. Do we have a deal?”
Dan Heng sighed reluctantly, “Yes, much to my dismay but it is necessary.”
“Good. We’ll also prepare your room for the baby, I’m not allowing you to sleep on the floor through the whole pregnancy. It’ll hurt your back.”
Dan Heng shook his head with a small smile on his face. Even if he didn’t know Himeko for long, her compassion is endless. He can’t forget the many times she and Pom-Pom have tried to get him to move into the guest room at this point. Maybe he should stay for some time, at least until the baby is born. However long that might be.
Ever since finding out about the fetus growing in his stomach, Dan Heng decided to write the weeks down to keep track of any changes in a journal. So far, the baby hasn’t grown a bit during that time. However, the nausea or morning sickness has become controllable thanks to the vitamin supplements he takes. Himeko and Pom-Pom also installed a small mini fridge for snacks that he’s been craving and to provide no need to walk to the kitchen to get them, considering they now had another member on the Express. March 7th.
She was found drifting in the galaxy in strange ice. Dan Heng remembered it clearly when he managed to chip the ice away and told her a bit about his past when she was recovering, having no memory of who she was or what happened to her. Ever since, March has been a member of the crew in her own way. Her love for taking photos has helped a bit with data bank in some areas but it was nice with the pink haired girl around to bring in positive energy around them.
A lot happened after that. Their latest supply restock visit to Herta Space Station ended with a new Nameless joining them, Stelle. A girl carrying a Stellaron inside her. Dan Heng and March had found her while looking for injured during an Antimatter Legion attack, unconscious with amnesia, much like March when she was rescued those months ago. Stelle was very welcomed into the crew and the three young Nameless (Even though Dan Heng knew he was older than everyone because of his origins) became close friends ever since.
The adventure on Jarilo-VI was exhausting but it was a good learning experience for Stelle and a happier end for the frozen planet thanks to her. Dan Heng was working hard on the amount of info that was needed to be cataloged into the data bank, keeping in mind that he needed to take care of himself for his baby’s sake as well.
However, when he woke up from yet another nightmare, Dan Heng got news they needed to change course for the Xianzhou Luofu, his homeland. He has dreaded this day for a long time. Although he wasn’t allowed on the Luofu, the Vidyadhara needed to help his friends when he reviewed the message from Kafka, one of the Stellaron Hunters, and saw that the woman was asking for help to free the very man that had hunted Dan Heng down for so many years, Blade.
Despite knowing the consequences of breaching his banishment verdict, Dan Heng needed to make sure his friends were safe. But he wasn’t expecting to have his powers and true form forcefully brought out to the surface again, thanks to Blade stabbing him in the chest. He had to use his tremendous power to defend himself from a young boy that was skilled with a sword. Jing Yuan having had this planned didn’t help either, no matter how much the general has done for him in the past.
Something came out of it, Dan Heng was told a few details of Dan Feng’s sentence before he was reborn. A flawed Exuviation charm, a ritual to force a rebirth beyond their time. That would explain much why he retained much of Dan Feng’s power and also, it also explained why he was pregnant more clearly. The flawed charm had allowed the fetus to be able to be born. And it seemed like Jing Yuan didn't know about the baby either.
Once the stellaron crisis was finally over and Jing Yuan was on the way to recovery, Dan Heng returned to the Express after having a meeting with Bailu. He had gotten a soft spot for the next High Elder after that. He had gotten a text from Stelle that she was gonna help March after they separated which was a good thing, he was exhausted from all of this. By the time he was aboard the Express once again, Dan Heng met with a relieved Himeko.
“Welcome back.” The red haired woman greeted with a gentle smile.
“I’m back…” Dan Heng replied before he swayed, feeling dizzy but Himeko was quick to hold him steady. He had to remind himself to not hit her with his horns considering he’s still in his original form.
“Let’s sit down, you’ve been through a lot from what I heard from Welt.” Himeko told him. So, the old man filled her in on things while they were busy in Luofu. Himeko guided Dan Heng to slowly sit down on one of the couches, the relief of finally not being on his feet right when he sat down was a bliss. “Where did you get that outfit?”
“It’s a long story, Himeko.” Dan Heng told her as he tried to not fall asleep sitting up.
Himeko’s gaze softened, “Take your time. You’re Dan Heng to us, no matter what. I know the baby will feel the same. You are what is gonna be their parent, not your past life. Don’t forget that.”
“I won’t, I just hope they can be born soon so I can finally meet them.” The archivist said longingly, placing a hand on his stomach and stroking it. He felt his pointed ears wiggle as he heard the familiar footsteps of Pom-Pom coming to them, carrying a small tray with a cup of tea.
“Here! We thought you might need some!” Pom-Pom pointed out as Dan Heng accepted the cup.
“Thank you, Pom-Pom.” The dragon thanked them, relishing the warmth from the cup.
This is where he belonged. This is his home together with the Express crew as a Nameless, this small family that has taken care of him despite the mistakes and sins following him from his past. Dan Heng wants to show the same kind of love the Express has given him to his child. Despite never expecting this pregnancy and having to handle the sins of his past life, Dan Heng felt a love for his unborn and having his banishment revoked has helped a lot when it comes to raising this child. He finally felt safe.
After the visit to Penacony, the rest of the Nameless started to notice changes in Dan Heng. He was practically glowing and was out of the archives more often for some reason. Let’s not forget he’s often seen in his Vidyadhara appearance than his human form around the Express. When Stelle and March asked him about it, Dan Heng only said that he was getting used to it. The two girls were completely clueless of the sudden change. There were times they couldn’t find him on the Express when they were looking for him.
Welt and Himeko weren’t that worried. Changes like this must be a good sign, Dan Heng has even told them the morning sickness was gone now when they asked about how much of his vitamins were left so they could refill them.
Himeko was in the control room when her phone vibrated to life a couple of times as she did her casual check up on the systems. Checking it, a series of messages from Dan Heng appeared on the screen.
Dan Heng:
Come to my room when you have the time
Bring Mr Yang with you
There’s something I need to show you
Worry started to storm in her head, Himeko knew he wouldn’t message this if it wasn’t serious. Never the case, Himeko found Welt easily. He was in his own room drawing something, ever the geek as always. Seeing Himeko’s face when she opened the door, Welt knew immediately that something was going on.
The duo walked over to the next car, where Dan Heng’s room was located. He had been using it the past couple of days because he was complaining about back pain recently.
When they arrived, Himeko knocked lightly before a muffled, “Come in!” was heard through the door and the two walked inside.
Dan Heng’s room used to be empty ever since he joined the Nameless, but now you can hardly recognize it. It was renovated to host not only Dan Heng but the baby as well. The same elevated floor was done in the room to keep the water like effects that Dan Heng admitted was very calming. The bed and crib was on the elevated floor with enough distance. A desk and computer was on the other side where Dan Heng was currently working with a couple of bookcases. They had made it so he could still log and organize the data bank when he had the energy. The changing table and other baby necessities close to the door. Everything was in green and blues in calm shades that fit Dan Heng’s personality and a few lotus shaped lamps were placed around the room. As well some baby toys that were stocked and put away until the time was right.
Making sure the door was closed, Welt makes the first move, “You wanted to show us something?”
After a deep breath, Dan Heng nodded and slowly stood up from his desk chair. The seniors of the Express looked in surprise when he pulled up his shirt. There was a noticeable curve lower down his normally flat stomach and a smile on Dan Heng’s face as he took down his shirt again, placing a hand on his stomach.
“Dan Heng…” Himeko breathed out as she went to hug him.
“They’re finally growing again.” Dan Heng pointed out, feeling overwhelmed.
“I’m so happy for you!” Himeko exclaimed as she broke the hug and placed her hands on his shoulders. “Are you feeling alright?”
“Yes, besides the back pain I’m okay.” The former High Elder explained as they sat down on the couch and armchair in the room. “It’s normal though so I can’t complain. With me starting to show, I’m in my second trimester and going into third in a few weeks.”
“That’s good news at the very least.” Welt pointed out. “However, now that we know that the baby is being healthy and growing at a steady rate, we need to plan out when and where you give birth when it is time. I can hardly imagine it is good for you or your child to be born on the Express without medical aid just in case something were to happen.”
Himeko nodded in agreement, “We need to have plans prepared but the decisions are yours, Dan Heng. Where do you want to be when giving birth?”
“The first thing that comes to mind is being on the Luofu…” Dan Heng answered with uncertainty, “However, it comes with some risks. Especially if the word reaches the Perceptors that a Vidyadhara, the Imbibitor Lunae to be exact, is pregnant with a child. As well taking Dan Feng’s sins into account, the Perceptors will try everything to get my baby as their puppet.”
“And knowing the situation concerning Bailu, the exchange with the Preceptors isn't going to be pleasant.” Welt noted worryingly.
Dan Heng nodded, “However, I’m planning on contacting Jing Yuan and tell him about all of this.”
“Are you sure, Dan Heng?” Himeko asked. “This is a sensitive topic considering your ties to him.”
“It’s my best option, besides he needs to know about this.” The archivist pointed out, looking down at his bump, “This child deserves to know about their origin and the culture of the place of my birth. I’m not running away now.”
“Very well. This is your decision at the end of the day.” Himeko said, understanding the young man’s decision. “Are you planning on telling the girls about this?”
Dan Heng chuckled slightly, “I let them figure it out on their own. It’s not like I’m hiding it at this point.”
“They aren’t gonna be happy being in the dark about this.” The animator stated with a small laugh. “Especially March.”
“Knowing her, March won’t be mad for long.” Dan Heng pointed out. “While Stelle is more understanding than anything from what I know since she joined us.”
Himeko nodded, enjoying the conversation, “We should leave you be so you can sort out stuff with General Jing Yuan. Want anything?”
Dan Heng shook his head and took out his phone to type to the Luofu general, “I’m good for now. If I crave anything, I’ll let you know.”
With that the two older Nameless left the room, letting the Imbibitor Lunae be alone in the room with his thoughts. He was staring at the chatroom with him and Jing Yuan, Dan Heng hasn’t contacted him since asking if he was okay after helping protect Bailu against the assassins. The general had given the Vidyadhara his number if Dan Heng had any questions regarding Dan Feng or the High Cloud Quintet in the future. Thinking through what he wanted to say, Dan Heng started typing:
Jing Yuan:
Dan Heng:
General
Do you have a moment for a video call?
Preferably with Bailu
Jing Yuan:
Yes
I should be available in a few days for a check up
with Lady Bailu
Is something the matter?
Dan Heng:
There’s something I need to discuss with you
It’s something concerning the past
Jing Yuan:
I see
Something important you can’t say in a text
I take it?
Dan Heng:
It’s hard to explain in text alone
I rather not cause a misunderstanding
Nor let someone being able to read this in the future
It concerns Dan Feng
Jing Yuan:
I understand
I’ll inform Lady Bailu about this
Dan Heng:
Thank you, General
I believe you’ll understand once the video call is on
Dan Heng sighed in relief. It might take a few days but at least he’ll be able to converse with both Jing Yuan and Bailu about his pregnancy and the need to have the birth secret as much as possible. He didn’t want anything to happen to his baby. Dan Heng felt something moving in his stomach, it was sudden but he knew what it was and placed a hand on the bump.
“I promise.” The soon to be parent whispered, “I’ll protect you, no matter what.”