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Jisung understood that harboring a crush on his brother's best friend might sound cliché, and it wasn't an ideal situation, especially since Jeno, his brother's best friend, felt like a true brother to him. He'd known Jeno for as long as he could remember, and Chenle would often playfully tease him about having two brothers instead of just one.
Truth be told, Chenle was right. Jeno had always been there for Jisung – helping with math homework, being his gaming partner, even attempting to teach him how to ride a bike. Growing up, Jisung hadn't developed romantic feelings for Jeno.
Yes, Jisung felt a sense of melancholy when he and his brother Jaemin relocated to Seoul for university two years ago, one which Chenle thought it was only because Jisung was the most dramatic person ever. Their visits back home became infrequent, limited to holidays and the occasional break, during which Jeno was often occupied with his own family and friends, while Jisung found himself immersed in late-night gaming sessions, only emerging from his room around 3 pm.
Yet, the sadness he experienced upon bidding farewell to Jeno never surpassed the ache of missing a cherished childhood friend. Jisung had never envisioned Jeno as more than that, considering him a valuable bonus that had enriched his life through his brother Jaemin's friendship.
As Jisung laid eyes on Jeno standing in his kitchen one summer morning, an indescribable warmth welled up in his stomach. There was something subtly different about the older boy, something elusive that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Jeno's hair, now longer, remained a glossy black, and his milky complexion was unchanged. His signature eye-smile still adorned his face. On the surface, nothing appeared different, yet Jisung couldn't ignore this distinct feeling.
Jisung had only just woken up a few minutes ago, which meant he was practically still in a drowsy half-sleep state. His intention was to grab some water and perhaps return to bed, but the sight of an unexpected guest in his kitchen interrupted his actions. Jeno, wearing that characteristic eye-smile, met his gaze and, without hesitation, approached him, affectionately ruffling his hair. Jisung found himself staring at Jeno, desperately trying to fully wake himself up and quell the warmth that seemed to radiate from deep within his belly.
"Hi, Jisung," the older boy greeted him softly, his words casting a spell over Jisung, leaving him momentarily dazed. "It's been such a long time, and look at you now – you've grown so tall."
Indeed, Jeno hadn't changed much, having already completed puberty before leaving for university. However, the past two years had brought substantial changes for Jisung. Notably, he had shot up in height, a transformation that occasionally irritated Jaemin, as Jisung seemed to have inherited all the tall genes. His once-rounded features had evolved into sharp contours after shedding his baby fat, and thanks to his dedication to swimming and dancing, his physique no longer resembled that of a twelve-year-old.
Jeno stood close, so close that all Jisung could focus on were the sparkling depths of his eyes in the early morning light. Jisung couldn't deny the sudden flutter in his stomach, an unsettling sensation that threatened to make him queasy.
"Yeah," he stammered, his response coming out more awkwardly than he'd intended. It was as though he'd temporarily forgotten how to function like a normal person.
"Leave him alone," Jisung's brother chimed in playfully from behind, his voice maintaining its characteristic soft and kind tone. "It's still way too early to be bothering the little guy." With a teasing grin, he couldn't resist giving Jisung's cheeks a playful squeeze. It seemed like his older brother had a knack for getting under his skin, saying it's his way of showing his love but Jisung hated it. (Okay, maybe this was a lie. But Jaemin would never learn about this.)
Jisung gently pushed Jaemin's hand away, noticing Jeno's amused smile as he observed the playful scene unfolding before him.
Fuck, he thinks. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
(Lee Jeno should stop smiling, seriously.)
Half an hour and a hasty breakfast with Jeno and Jaemin later, Jisung found himself alone in his room. He shut the door behind him and dialed his best friend, Chenle, in a rush, his nerves making him pace around the room anxiously. The phone rang for the third time, and Jisung's patience was wearing thin.
"This better be important as fuck or I swear to god Park Jisung I'll—" Chenle began the moment he picked up the call. Jisung glanced at his watch and noted that it was only 9 am, an ungodly hour for his best friend on a Saturday morning, given that Chenle had likely spent the entire night gaming and had only gone to bed a mere two hours ago.
"I have a crush on Jeno. I think. I don't know." Jisung whispered apprehensively. He was aware that both Jeno and Jaemin had left the house just a few minutes ago to go biking, leaving him alone in the quiet home. Yet, vocalizing his feelings felt strange, as though uttering them aloud would make them more concrete. The mere notion of liking Jeno was enough to send Jisung spiraling into full-blown panic mode.
Chenle remained silent for what felt like an eternity, prompting Jisung to check whether his friend had hung up and gone back to sleep.
"Are you ther—" He says after a minute of silence but Chenle speaks at the same time.
"So you gay panicked because you saw your hot brother's equally hot best friend, realized you loved him and decided to wake me up." Chenle sounds almost awake now, his voice sounds harsher and so done with Jisung.
"First of all, don't call Jaemin that. And it's so fucking weird. And it isn't love. It's Jeno. He is like my brother." he says the last word as if it is an insult.
"But he is not." Chenle retorts. "I can't believe you woke me up for this. Do you know how precious my sleep is? I will see you tonight."
The call fell silent, and Jisung found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror before him. He attempted to regain his composure, willing himself to return to a state of rationality. He reminded himself that finding Jeno attractive was perfectly normal. Attraction was a natural response, and it didn't necessarily hold any deeper significance. Anyone could find anyone attractive. So what? Jisung was just appreciating a friend's appearance. So? It was fine. Completely fine.
Turns out, it wasn't fucking fine.
Jaemin, after almost two years, deemed it a perfect occasion to host a movie night, particularly with the rain pouring outside—a fitting backdrop for such an event. He extended invitations to a group of his friends, naturally including Jeno among them.
"It's like we've been transported back to high school," Renjun, Chenle's older cousin and one of Jaemin's close friends, uttered sentimentally upon entering Jaemin and Jisung's living room. He couldn't help but feel a wave of nostalgia as he gazed upon his friends, who had already settled into their familiar spots, reminiscent of the good old days.
Donghyuck and Mark were sitting on the floor and going through Netflix arguing on which movie to watch.
("We watched Homecoming for three times already, let's watch this one!"
"There is no way we are watching Kissing Booth again.")
While engrossed in a prolonged debate over what to watch, Jisung excused himself to the bathroom—a decision that seemed to backfire. Upon his return, he discovered the only available spot was a two-person sofa already occupied by Jeno and a thoroughly enthusiastic Renjun. As he squeezed into the limited space, he couldn't help but lock eyes with Chenle, who responded with a knowing smile and a playful wink. Of course Jisung could trust his best friend to ruin his life in the middle of a crisis. (Maybe Chenle was right and Jisung was a dramatic person.)
"We're watching Avatar," Jeno whispered softly into Jisung's ear, sending shivers down Jisung's spine as he felt the warmth of Jeno's breath on his neck. Aware of Jeno's proximity due to their seating arrangement, Jisung cautiously turned to face him, making an effort to avoid being dazzled by Jeno's ever-present eye-smile. He whispered in response, "That explains Renjun hyung's excitement." Jisung couldn't help but feel a strange sense of pride as he watched Jeno's smile widen and heard a faint snort escape him. He fought to suppress the burgeoning smile on his own lips by biting the insides of his cheek, all while ignoring the pleasant warmth that seemed to envelop his entire body.
Jisung despised the fact that he couldn't fully immerse himself in the movie. Despite facing the screen, his senses were acutely attuned to the warmth of Jeno's body pressed intimately against his. Despite the rain outside, the sweltering heat persisted, rendering the air conditioner's futile attempts useless, especially when he was in such close proximity to Jeno. The sensation of heat seemed to concentrate on his left side, igniting a burning sensation that intensified as the movie progressed.
The situation escalated during the second half of the movie when Jeno nonchalantly rested his hands on his knees. This meant that their hands were mere inches apart from Jisung's, who had initially placed his hands on his knees out of sheer awkwardness of not knowing what to do with his hands. Both of them maintained this position, their hands occupying their respective knees, yet the closeness was unnerving for Jisung. His left hand brushed lightly against Jeno's right hand, further exacerbating his internal turmoil.
With every passing moment, Jisung grew increasingly restless, yearning to take the bold step of intertwining their fingers. He envisioned the delightful sensation of playing with Jeno's elegant, elongated digits and the prospect of their hands coming together in an intimate connection.
Jisung gently tilts his head from side to side, a deliberate attempt to wrestle his racing thoughts under control, redirecting his attention to the movie unfolding on the screen. He strives to drown out the awareness of their tantalizingly close hands and the comforting warmth radiating from Jeno's body, which lingers so sweetly beside his own.
Just as he begins to regain his focus on the movie's plot, he senses Jeno's right pinky playfully toying with his own. The touch is feather-light, almost ethereal, causing Jisung to initially mistake it for a casual hand movement. However, a subtle turn of his head towards the left reveals Jeno sporting a small, enigmatic smile. Jeno doesn't avert his gaze from the screen, yet his pinky maintains its delicate connection with Jisung's, their digits entwined in an unspoken understanding that persists until the final credits roll.
As the credits roll and the movie concludes, Jeno withdraws his hand swiftly, rising from his seat to illuminate the room with the overhead lights. Jisung blinks, momentarily dazzled by the abrupt transition from darkness to brightness. The sensation of coldness pervades his body, particularly his left hand, which aches with the absence of Jeno's comforting warmth, while a subtle tingling lingers within him.
For the remainder of the evening, Jisung deliberately avoids occupying the seat next to Jeno and refrains from locking eyes with him. This self-imposed distance is a conscious choice, a measure he takes for his own emotional well-being.
Chenle's theory about the abrupt shift in Jisung's feelings toward Jeno being merely a result of pent-up frustration prompts an eye-roll from Jisung so intense it threatens to give him a headache.
"I pour out my soul to you, confiding in my best friend about the existential crisis I'm facing, and all you can come up with is 'You need to get laid'? Seriously?" Jisung nearly hurls Chenle's game controller across the room in a fit of frustration.
They find themselves gathered at Chenle's place once again, and it's becoming a recurring pattern. For some inexplicable reason, Jeno practically resides at Jisung and Jaemin's, to the point where Jisung half-jokingly speculates that Jeno might as well have moved in with them. This situation leaves Jisung confined to his room for most of the day, sweltering in the heat without the luxury of an air conditioner. As a result, he's been seeking refuge at Chenle's more frequently than usual, and that's saying something because his visits were already quite frequent to begin with.
"Listen," Chenle says, setting aside both controllers for a moment. "You've never felt like this about Jeno before, right? Maybe it's time to explore, date, or, if you're feeling daring, hook up with other people. It could help you see if what you're feeling for him is just a passing phase, not worth jeopardizing your friendship over. If these feelings persist, it might be worth taking a more serious look at them instead of being an anxious wreck about it."
"Yeah," Jisung says after a long silence. "I'm never doing that."
As Chenle firmly shakes his head in disagreement, his resolve remains unwavering. He has made up his mind; he won't resort to dating or hooking up with others to verify his feelings for Jeno, even if he's uncertain about the alternative path he should take.
Next time he sees Jeno is a Tuesday.
After an all-night gaming session with Chenle, Jisung finally stirs from his slumber well past noon, stirred by the commotion outside in his backyard. He tends to sleep with his window open, given the absence of an air conditioner in his room, but today the outside noises have reached an unbearable crescendo. Unwilling to open his eyes or move just yet, he makes a deliberate effort to lull himself back to sleep.
Nearly half an hour later, conceding defeat to wakefulness, he resigns himself to sitting up in bed, striving to fully rouse himself. The lingering exhaustion from a night spent berating Chenle over Discord for his poor aim makes him contemplate the idea of returning to slumber. However, the growling protest of his stomach squashes that thought. Jisung decides to go down the stairs and beg to Jaemin for some much-needed sustenance.
As he descends the stairs, Jisung is greeted by a familiar sight that evokes memories from a few years ago. In the backyard, some of Jaemin's friends are gathered, taking full advantage of the pool's refreshing waters. Jaemin himself isn't particularly fond of swimming or getting wet, but he relishes the atmosphere around the pool—listening to music, engaging in lively conversations with his friends. It's a common occurrence for Jaemin to extend invitations to his friends for these poolside gatherings, a tradition dating back to the summers before they all embarked on their university journeys.
Renjun and Donghyuck, in stark contrast to Jaemin, had an insatiable love for swimming, and it wasn't unusual to find them practically living in the pool. Mark, on the other hand, was a soul who discovered his own unique way to enjoy the pool's ambiance. As for Jeno, despite being polar opposites in many respects, he and Jaemin formed an inseparable duo. Jeno took delight in tossing Mark into the water, engaging in playful "drownings" with Donghyuck, splashing water in Renjun's direction as he attempted to simply bask in the aquatic serenity, and engaging in post-swim conversations with Jaemin.
As fate would have it, Jisung finds himself unexpectedly encountering a dripping-wet Jeno, fresh from the pool. Jeno's soaked, ebony hair drapes gracefully over his face, enhancing his already striking features. His ever-present, infectious smile graces his face as he playfully greets Jisung.
"Looks like you've finally decided to join the world of the living," Jisung quips with a grin, though he's well aware of Jeno's considerable appeal. Strangely, being soaked seems to accentuate Jeno's attractiveness even further. The older boy sports a casually draped towel over his shoulders, a futile attempt to conceal his chiseled torso, and Jisung can't help but steal a lingering glance. Jeno boasts skin as smooth as fresh cream, devoid of any excess, rendering him a sculpted masterpiece.
An irresistible urge to reach out and touch him sends a subtle itch coursing through Jisung's hand. He soon realizes he's been staring a bit too long, prompting him to lift his head, cheeks ablaze, and gulp audibly, struggling to regain his composure.
"Yeah," Jisung finally manages to utter after an uncomfortably protracted silence, and he silently chastises himself for his momentary lapse. He could practically hear the inner voice calling him a creep. Determined to divert his embarrassment, he deliberately avoids making eye contact with Jeno, but his resolve crumbles when he realizes that Jeno remains standing right in front of him, unfazed by Jisung's embarrassing display.
Jeno's eyes still glisten with that signature sparkle—honestly, they always seem to shine—but this time, it carries a different quality, a unique sensation that Jisung can't quite place. Overwhelmed by embarrassment, he can't bring himself to dwell on those mesmerizing eyes any longer. Instead, he decides it's time to make a move, but Jeno acts swiftly, seizing the opportunity to ruffle Jisung's hair just as he had done a few days earlier.
"So adorable," he hears Jeno murmur softly, causing Jisung's heart to flutter uncontrollably. Determined to distract himself from the sudden surge of emotions, Jisung heads toward the backyard in search of Jaemin, hoping to secure a meal. His hand instinctively finds its way to his chest, a subtle attempt to steady his racing heart.
It takes him two days to text Chenle.
emo
help!!!
big head
what
did jeno breath your way?
emo
haha
help
big head
hopeless
emo
i think
your idea might not be that bad
big head
my ideas are never bad
emo
yeah
no
big head
so
you want someone to
*wink* *wink*
hook up
emo
no
never ever text *wink**wink* again
and
hang out maybe?
idk
big head
ignoring that
and
yangyang is throwing a party
emo
wtf didnt he come back 2 days ago or smt
big head
it's yangyang
emo
ur right
As it turns out, Yangyang's circle of friends included Jaemin, which inevitably meant that Jeno was part of the mix too.
"Great," Jisung thinks, a sarcastic edge to his internal monologue. "I'll just try to forget about Jeno while he's strutting around like a whole feast."
Unfortunately for Jisung, Jeno was decked out in his snug, jet-black jeans paired with an unbuttoned shirt that left little to the imagination. Even from across the room at Yangyang's house, Jisung could catch glimpses of Jeno's flawless, porcelain skin. He nervously swallows hard, gathering the courage to approach them with Jaemin by his side. He makes a conscious effort to avert his gaze from Jeno, well aware of the way his heart tends to react when Jeno is in sight.
"Yo! This is my first time seeing Jisung at a party," Mark exclaims with evident excitement as Jisung approaches the group. From Mark's tone and the empty glasses before them, it's clear they've already indulged in a few drinks. Mark extends a fist for a friendly bump, to which Jisung responds with a warm smile, while Jaemin beside him starts emitting incomprehensible sounds of approval.
"Our baby Jisung has grown up, and now he can join his hyungs for a drink at parties," Jaemin says with his customary playful tone. Laughter erupts among the others as Jaemin continues to emit his peculiar sounds while showering Jisung with hugs and kisses. Jisung is well aware of Jaemin's penchant for babying him, and even his brother's friends are in on the joke. However, it does feel somewhat peculiar to be on the receiving end of such treatment at a party, especially with Jeno watching. He playfully nudges Jaemin away, a familiar response that has become their routine.
"Hey, Sung!" Jisung hears Chenle's voice from his side. The Chinese friend extends a drink toward him as he greets the others. Jisung gratefully accepts the drink from Chenle, well aware he'll need a few of these to endure being around the alluring presence of Jeno.
Luckily, Chenle is always on hand with more drinks when needed, which helps Jisung relax gradually. He starts to settle into the rhythm of the gathering, engaging in conversations with Jaemin's friends. Along the way, he seems to have forgotten his original motive for being here, engrossed in the lively banter.
Chenle occasionally nudges him as a reminder of why he came, but Jisung easily brushes off the prompts, enjoying the moment and the company of familiar faces.
Engaged in an animated conversation with Renjun about a parallel universe theory, Jisung suddenly senses a hand resting on his shoulder. He swivels around to identify the source and is met with the beaming visage of his high school friend, Yuna. Their eyes lock, and she greets him with a warm, heartfelt hug.
"I can't believe I've run into Park Jisung at a party!" she exclaims cheerfully, extending her greetings to Jisung's friends and concluding with a friendly fist bump with Chenle. She then turns her attention back to Jisung.
"Wanna hit the dance floor?" Yuna proposes with a grin.
Jisung is on the verge of declining the offer and suggesting that Yuna join them, but a sharp elbow from Chenle on his side serves as a swift reminder of his mission for the day. He opts to nod instead, extending his hand to Yuna's waist, guiding her away from the group.
"Hey, would you like a drink first?" Jisung proposes as he notices a slow song playing. He and Yuna have known each other for three years, having attended the same high school. She's a laid-back person, but Jisung can't help but feel a tad awkward about dancing to a slow song.
Thankfully, Yuna readily agrees, and they find a spot on one of the sofas that Yangyang had moved aside to create space. They settle in with their drinks, eager to catch up on the month they've spent apart. Jisung earnestly attempts to focus on Yuna's conversation, but the intensity of the burning gazes on his back makes it a formidable challenge.
Unable to resist the temptation any longer, he glances over his shoulder to identify the source of this lingering, fiery attention. His eyes lock onto Jeno's, and it's the first time all summer that he's seen the older boy without a smile. Jeno clings to his drink, appearing to listen to Donghyuck's entertaining story, but his unwavering gaze remains fixed on Jisung. There's no trace of a smile or a shift in his gaze when their eyes connect. The older looks deep in thought.
Jisung's unease prompts him to muster an awkward, small smile in Jeno's direction, but instead of receiving Jeno's signature grin, the older boy simply turns his head, offering a faint smile to Donghyuck, who's eagerly awaiting a response to whatever he had been saying. Jisung refocuses his attention on Yuna, who's sharing her enthusiasm about the university she'll be attending in September.
A few minutes pass, and the sensation of the intense gaze on his back returns, but this time Jisung resists the urge to turn around and confront it.
Yangyang extends an invitation for everyone to join him on the "dance floor," which, in reality, is just his living room with furniture pushed to the sides to make space. Jisung finds himself dancing to the beat of some song with Yuna. They attempt to sustain their conversation, but the room is stiflingly crowded and hot, despite the air conditioner doing its best to combat the heat. The booming EDM music chosen by Yangyang drowns out any attempt at conversation, and even when their bodies are pressed together so closely, their words get lost in the noisy ambiance.
"Hey!" Yuna shouts into his ear over the blaring music, having danced for a while. "I spotted my friends! Is it okay if I head over to them?" Jisung nods in agreement, quickly downing a shot of his drink.
"I'll text you!" he adds, offering Yuna a friendly smile. She reciprocates the smile before making her way to her friends. Left alone in the midst of the dancing crowd, Jisung begins to feel somewhat awkward. He attempts to navigate to the edge of the crowd by gently pushing through people, but his progress is abruptly halted by the sensation of strong hands grasping his waist. The hands' owner is positioned behind him, so Jisung can't immediately identify the person. He struggles to break free from the unexpected hold but eventually resigns himself to turning around to see who it is.
To his astonishment, Jisung finds himself face to face with Jeno. The older boy is in close proximity due to the bustling dance floor, and beneath the glistening glow of Yangyang's cheap party lights, Jeno appears to radiate. The firm grip of Jeno's hands on his waist remains unyielding, as does the intensity of Jeno's penetrating gaze.
Feeling somewhat lost in this unexpected scenario, Jisung emits an awkward chuckle, unsure of how to navigate the situation. He patiently awaits Jeno's next move or words, uncertain of what to do next.
"Are you alright?" Jisung inquires, his concern mounting as Jeno remains unresponsive. The situation feels oddly intimate, surrounded by a haze of intoxicated university students, their gaze locked in an unspoken connection. Jisung can't help but perceive the warmth emanating from Jeno's hands, a sensation that seems to sear through his body.
In response, Jeno counters with a question of his own. "Feel like dancing?" It's an unexpected proposition that catches Jisung off guard. He grapples with the awkwardness of declining Jeno's offer, yet he's also apprehensive about whether he can muster the courage to dance with Jeno in this particular scenario.
Moments later, despite his initial reservations, Jisung finds himself dancing in the midst of a bustling crowd with Jeno. It's as if the music courses through Jeno's veins, and Jisung does his best to follow his lead. Normally, Jisung would proudly declare himself a good dancer — in fact, it was how he initially connected with Yuna, both being members of the same dance club. However, in this moment, his body is pressed closely against Jeno's, and every fiber of his being seems acutely aware of the proximity.
His mind feels muddled, and he's barely functioning. The intoxicated crowd only serves to push them closer together, making it even harder for Jisung to concentrate. Meanwhile, Jeno's powerful arms glide skillfully around his body, while Jisung grapples with what to do with his own. Eventually, he settles for wrapping his arms around Jeno's torso, hoping he isn't making any missteps in this strangely intimate dance.
"You are doing good." Jeno whispers into his ear and suddenly his whole body is on fire. He feels like burning in Jeno's arms, Jeno sets everywhere on fire with his touches. His hands never go down his waist —which is a shame, Jisung kinda wishes they did— but he can't help but feel hot and tight down there. Older's hot breath on his neck suddenly makes him want more so he pushes himself against Jeno without even noticing -Jisung blames the alcohol. He moans quietly with satisfaction when he feels Jeno pushing himself back to him. He feels Jeno's hands back on his waist, this time his hands go lower than his waist, almost on Jisung's ass, pulling Jisung closer to himself, which Jisung didn't think it was possible, it feels so sweet, making his pants go even tighter.
"Please," he whispers to Jeno with need. He doesn't know what he is asking for, just hoping that Jeno knows what he needs. Older's grip on his back go even stronger, almost strong enough to have bruises later but Jisung doesn't mind. He feels like only Jeno can end this fire he started.
"Please what?" Jeno asks in a stern, sultry way. His voice is lower than usual which makes Jisung shudder in Jeno's arms. "I'm not even doing anything." His voice is so low and his breath is so warm on his neck that Jisung feels his legs going weak but he feels safe in Jeno's arms. The older is already pulling him strongly again. Jisung feels his crotch touching Jeno's with every pull. The older is still making them move along the music, the friction is making Jisung go crazy and it looks like Jeno knows and enjoys this.
"Anything. Please." Jisung breathes back in a hurry. He pushes himself against Jeno, trying to catch more friction and more of Jeno.
Older's hands go up to his head, playing with the hair on his nape. His touches are suddenly a lot softer, which makes Jisung angry for some reason. Jeno is not giving him what he wants. He tries to push himself harder against Jeno but this time older stops him, brings one of his hands from the back of Jisung's head to his face. Caresses softly. His eyes are really soft. Nothing like when he was talking to Yuna or nothing like when they started to dance. His gaze was soft and different.
"Later," he says softly. His voice is almost back to normal. "You are drunk now." Jisung doesn't like what he hears but he can never say no to Jeno. Not when he is looking at him like this. He still grumbles in disappointment when Jeno moves couple of steps back and takes his hands off of him.
The next morning—or rather, noon—Jisung jolts awake and lets out a scream into his pillow. In this groggy state, he wishes he could've been either too drunk to remember anything or sober enough to not have acted on impulse. Unfortunately, Jisung finds himself in the painful middle ground of being drunk enough to indulge in such actions and sober enough to vividly recall them the next day.
Later that day, Chenle mercilessly teases him about the previous night's events. As Jisung takes a sip of his coke, he's nearly propelled into a fit of laughter as he hears the story recounted.
"So you almost came while dancing with Jeno hyung?" He snorts as Jisung hits his head with a pillow continiously.
"I was totally wasted!" Jisung tries to mount a defense. "And it's not even remotely humorous, okay?" he insists, though deep down, he acknowledges the comical aspect of the situation. In fact, it's downright hilarious. What's equally amusing is the fact that he fled to Chenle's place the moment Jaemin informed him of Jeno's impending visit. He simply isn't prepared to confront Jeno just yet, and he's unsure if he ever will be.
"But hold on a sec. Isn't this a positive sign?" Jisung halts his pillow-assault and directs his attention toward Chenle, urging him to elaborate. "I mean, it's clear he's into you too! You know he doesn't act like this with just anyone."
Chenle makes a valid point. It certainly seems that way, but Jisung can't help but wonder if Jeno might have transformed into a playboy over the last couple of years, someone who casually hooks up with his best friend's little brother. (Deep down, he knows this isn't true. Jeno is a good guy.)
"You're always overanalyzing everything," Chenle observes as he detects the gears turning in his best friend's mind. "Sometimes, you just need to go with the flow."
For Jisung, it's not like he has many other options.
Their parents come back from holiday next day which he is grafeful for because his friends —read: especially Jeno— stop coming to their house or offering hang out for a bit so that they could catch up with their parents. This also gives Jisung enough time to think about Jeno and especially their so called dance which for the most of time resulted Jisung masturbating in his room or sometimes in the shower, trying not to moan Jeno's name.
Jisung doesn't magically stumble upon a solution for how to navigate his feelings around Jeno, but he has managed to quell the panic that once accompanied every thought of it. Yes, he's accepted it—he does have feelings for Jeno.
His newfound composure is put to the test when Jeno extends an invitation for all of them to attend a sleepover at his place. With his parents out of town and his older sister on a romantic getaway with her boyfriend, Jeno seizes the opportunity to host his friends.
Jisung and Jaemin go with beers although Jeno told them not to bring anything. "There could be nothing wrong with more beers." Jaemin says as they grab some from the supermarket.
Jeno greets everyone with a warm smile upon their arrival. Jisung feels bashful about locking eyes with him, but Jeno carries himself with an air of indifference, as if their past interactions were of no consequence. Jisung finds himself caught in a state of uncertainty, unsure if this new demeanor is for the better or worse. He grapples with his thoughts, ultimately choosing to disregard the situation entirely, including Jeno. Instead, he engages with the group, making a conscious effort not to single out Jeno. This proves to be a challenging task, particularly because Jeno's smile remains ever-present, and his presence exerts a substantial weight beside Jisung. It becomes even more challenging when Jeno's hand casually lands on Jisung's knee during their movie in the darkened room. His hot hand plays around the hem of his short, pulling it a little bit higher and making circles on his skin with his fingers. Jisung tries to ignore him hopelessly because he really doesn't know how to respond to his touch yet he can't help but look at Jeno when older's hand travel up and down on his short slowly. He wants more of his little touches and he wants more of Jeno.
As he gazes at Jeno, a sense of déjà vu washes over him. Jeno appears to be engrossed in the movie, sporting a small, knowing smirk on his soft lips. Jisung swallows hard and attempts to redirect his focus to the film. Yet, throughout the movie, Jeno's hand continues to tease his skin. Occasionally, it ventures higher, eliciting an anticipatory hitch in Jisung's breath, though it never progresses beyond that.
Three hours later, he finds himself alone in his room, a result of the sleeping arrangements. Typically, Jeno and Jaemin would share Jeno's room, while Jisung bunked down in Jeno's parents' bed with Donghyuck and Renjun. However, this time Jaemin argued that he was too tall to comfortably share that bed, leaving Jisung to stand alone in Jeno's room, feeling unsure of what to do next.
Jeno takes it upon himself to ensure everyone's comfort, providing pillows and lightweight blankets for Chenle and Mark, who are sleeping in the living room downstairs. He inquires if the trio on the other side of the floor needs anything before returning to his own room with a smile gracing his lips. Mark had once mentioned that it's unsettling when Jeno doesn't smile with his eyes, but Jisung respectfully disagrees; he finds Jeno's smile endearing no matter how it manifests.
As Jeno opens his closet in search of sleepwear, he turns to Jisung with a question. "Are you comfortable sharing a bed?" Normally, Jeno prefers to sleep in just his boxers during the summer, citing a tendency to get easily overheated. However, he seems considerate enough to look for something lighter tonight. Jisung is grateful for this gesture, as he already anticipates that sleeping next to Jeno will be a challenge, and he can't fathom sharing a bed with an almost-naked Jeno.
"Yeah," Jisung responds, turning his back to Jeno to give him some privacy while he changes. The uncertainty of how to act or what to say when he's around Jeno weighs heavily on him. The last three days haven't provided enough clarity on how he should behave with Jeno. Whenever he reflects on their recent encounter, it tends to end with him taking care of a certain personal matter. Furthermore, Jeno's peculiar behavior, oscillating between touchy and aloof, only adds to the confusion.
Minutes later, they both climb into bed, and an overwhelming awkwardness settles in the room. It's not their first time sharing a bed—having grown up together, they've shared sleeping spaces countless times. However, it's the first time Jisung has felt this level of discomfort in Jeno's presence.
Jeno's bed is typically designed for one person, so they find themselves lying closely beside each other. Every slight shift Jeno makes on the bed, every breath he takes, is palpable to Jisung. In the darkened room, they both remain awake, the only sounds being the rhythm of their breathing.
Jisung exhales audibly and turns onto his side, as he's always been more comfortable sleeping this way, avoiding the discomfort of lying on his back.
"Having trouble sleeping?" Jeno's voice, though still softer than usual, lacks the sultriness of their encounter at Yangyang's party. It carries a soothing quality that Jisung finds oddly reassuring.
He hums softly in response, the tension from earlier dissipating as drowsiness begins to settle in. A gentle chuckle escapes Jeno's lips as his hand finds its way to Jisung's hair, its caress further lulling Jisung into relaxation. It's as if Jeno's touch has the power to melt his worries away.
Jisung contemplates how Chenle would tease him mercilessly if he were to witness this scene. He struggles to explain Jeno's inexplicable hold over him. The simplest gestures from Jeno, like the way he gazes at Jisung or the warmth of his smile, have a profound impact on him. It's not that Jisung enjoys feeling this way; rather, he's apprehensive about losing himself to the magnetic pull of Jeno's presence.
"Need anything else?" Jeno's kind inquiry receives a quick refusal from Jisung. However, the older continues to ask more questions, his concern evident as he tries to ensure Jisung's comfort. "More pillows, perhaps? Or how about some hugs?" Jisung detects a playful tone in Jeno's voice, even though he's feeling rather sleepy. He opens his eyes slowly, gazing at Jeno, who returns his look with a sweet, affectionate expression.
Jeno is unpredictable, and while it often leaves him baffled, Jisung finds that he quite likes it. Jeno's hand, initially caressing his hair, ventures a little further down to cup and gently stroke Jisung's face. The sensation is so soothing that Jisung contemplates closing his eyes and surrendering to Jeno's touch, but he can't bear to miss the intense way Jeno is studying him. Jeno's thumb moves from his cheek to his lips, each touch delicate and unhurried, and a sudden yearning overtakes Jisung, leaving him craving more of this intimate connection.
"You promised," Jisung whispers, not fully comprehending the words that escape his lips until he witnesses the flicker of confusion crossing Jeno's face. "At the dance," he clarifies when it becomes apparent that his initial words have left the older boy puzzled. "You said later."
Jeno appears surprised, perhaps believing that Jisung had forgotten their intimate exchange. Jisung feels a certain shyness discussing this matter so closely with Jeno, but he takes solace in the room's dim lighting, allowing him to conceal his blushing cheeks in the shadows. Fortunately, it seems that Jeno finally comprehends his intention, as Jisung observes the soft look in his eyes transitioning into a playful glint.
"So you want me?" He inquires, his voice dipped in the same low, sultry tone he used during their dance, sending shivers down Jisung's spine. Jisung responds with a shy nod, hardly able to fathom what is about to transpire in the next few moments. Yet, Jeno remains still, neither advancing nor retracting his hands.
"You need to use your words with me, Jisung," Jeno asserts with unwavering authority, prompting Jisung to nod once more before swiftly correcting himself.
"Yes." His voice is so tiny that he is not sure if Jeno actualy caught it but just seconds later Jeno's face come closer to his and their noses touch lightly before Jeno tilts his head slightly to left. Next thing Jisung knows is Jeno's soft but warm lips against his own and it's a lot different than what Jisung had imagined before —yes, of course he had imagined kissing Jeno. He holds back a moan when Jeno's hand on his nape pulls him closer, he is still embarrassed about the moan he let go when they were just dancing so he doesn't want to add on to that list but he is hopeless when Jeno starts sucking his bottom lip roughly. He hears Jeno hum when he hears his low moan and his tongue makes his way to Jisung's mouth. Jeno leads the interaction so smoothly while Jisung is just melting away.
Jisung feels his whole body on fire and his hands find themselves on Jeno's waist as if he could stop this fire but the fire only grows. Jisung wishes Jeno didn't spend two minutes trying to find a thin tshirt and just slept as he usually did. He ignores the fabric and puts his hands under Jeno's tshirt, his hands travelling older's milky skin, trying to touch everywhere. He feels Jeno's hands mirroring his own actions but his hands are more stable than Jisung's. Jisung feels warmth pooling down in his stomach and suddenly his shorts are getting tighter every second which makes Jisung go impatient under Jeno's touch. He wants more, he needs more.
Almost as if Jeno reads his mind, he pushes his his knee against Jisung's crotch, creating the right amount of fraction Jisung needs at the moment which makes him moan again into the kiss. Jeno parts their lips and Jisung whines with the lack of his lips against his own but Jeno compensates this with moving his lips.
He first starts giving kisses to random places on Jisung's face and shuts Jisung up with a small kiss when he whines again for more and then he starts kissing his cheek and his neck. Jisung's neck is sensitive so he can't help but let out a moan —at this point he is really shy because it is the first time he moaned this much when they didn't even do much— but then that's it, Jeno suddenly moves back. His hands are still on his body and his knee is pushing sweetly against his crotch but he isn't kissing him anymore which makes Jisung whine again. He wants more of his touches and kisses.
"Want more?" Jeno asks him, his voice is again really low and firm, it almost makes him shiver with want but Jisung's mind is fuzzy so it takes time for him to fully register what Jeno's asking him so he just nods again. "Words, baby."
Jisung trembles with the use of the pet name, his friends would always call him pet names but Jeno would only use his name. "Yes, yes, please." It's embarrassing that Jisung got so hard quickly but it's Jeno's effect on him. Jeno gives him a hard chuckle and moves closer to Jisung once again. Finally, he thinks as he closes his eyes waiting for a kiss. Jeno parted their lips not long ago but Jisung already wants him back. He pushes himself against Jeno's knee for more sweet fraction and it feels so good. He wants to touch himself but also doesn't want to move his hands from Jeno's body.
Jeno's hands make their way down and Jisung gets excited with expectation but older's strong hands grab his hips and stop his small movements againts him which makes younger whine again and honestly Jisung didn't know he was such a whiner. "Please what?" Jeno asks his voice is lower than before but this time it has a playful touch that Jisung can't name. "What do you want me to do, baby?"
Jeno's face is so close to Jisung's face like they are seconds away from kissing, their noses are touching and older's breath is licking and burning Jisung's s kin lightly. Jisung's lips are itching to touch his lips again. Jisung whimpers against his lips, he doesn't know how to answer the older his mind is empty and he can't find answers.
"Just... Please. Anything. Please, hyung I need it." Jeno smiles against his lips and one of his hands move up from his hips to his cheek he is caressing Jisung's cheek softly. His touch on his cheek and his look is so soft that Jisung almost forgets he is super horny but his hard on is too painful to forget at this moment. Jisung starts moving his hips again, taking advantage of Jeno's hand on his cheek but then older's other hand stops him once again.
"Are you that needy, baby? You are just gonna take anything, hm? Anything I give you." Jeno speaks in a way that gives him goosebumps.
"Yes, hyung. Please." It's painful to feel older speaking to his lips but not being able to touch him. Then Jeno moves his hand on his hip to his back, allowing him to move freely against older's knee, and pulls younger to himself then meets their lips once again. This time his kiss is rough and harsh different then their previous kisses which Jisung decides he likes both of them. Jeno pulls his head back and looks at him with a look that Jisung can't name. Pushes the hair on his forehead.
"Is this okay, Jisung?" Jisung notices the lack of pet name and immediately misses it, he stops himself from whining again. His voice is almost normal and his eyes lost their playful glint almost completely which is a shame, honestly. He is now looking at him with a slight worry. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to." He adds when Jisung doesn't reply back to him.
"It's okay. I'm just..." Jeno looks more at ease and looks at him to continue. "I'm hard." He says. Saying it out loud makes Jisung feel a bit shy and insecure about himself. Jeno chuckles and Jisung is happy to see his eye smile.
"Okay, baby," Jeno says. His eyes are full of that playful glint once again but his voice is still on the softer side. Jisung is happy to hear the pet name again. "Tell me what you like and we are gonna do that, okay?"
"I like that." Jisung says shyly. He is know he didn't provide a clear explanation when he sees Jeno raising his eyebrows. "I'm fine with anything but I like it when you call me baby."
Jeno smirks at him and whispers back. "Okay." Jeno pulls back and removes his tshirt with one move which leaves Jisung speechless just like the day he had seen Jeno at their house after he left the pool. The older has well-defined abs which Jisung can't help but want to touch. "It's hot. Do you want me to remove yours too?" Jisung nods as his eyes doesn't leave Jeno's body which is really embarrassing considering the fact that he had seen considerable amount of abs in his life —he was in dance club and swimming club, he had seen enough abs actually— it was the Jeno effect. Jeno helps Jisung to remove his tshirt easily and then suddenly they are skin to skin, Jisung feels Jeno's hot skin more than ever.
Jisung's breath trembles when he joins their lips back together. Jeno's hands are roaming on his body and he lets out a small moan when he feels older's finger playing with his right nipple.
"Hyung, please," He is painfully hard and just touching Jeno's thigh isn't enough anymore.
"So needy." Jeno says in a low voice but he still lowers Jisung's shorts and underwear which makes Jisung avert his eyes with shyness.
Jeno puts his rough but warm hands around him and Jisung has to bite his lips to stop himself from moaning loudly. He feels better now that he is not in his tight and uncomfortable underwear. Jeno moves his hands quickly around Jisung who is holding himself back from moaning loudly.
He comes few minutes later to Jeno's hand who kisses him again, this time it's sweet and loving. Jisung loses himself to the kiss savoring Jeno's taste.
"Uh, hyung." He says awkwardly after he comes down from his orgasm. "Do you need..?" Jisung points at Jeno who sits on his bed looking at Jisung fondly, his hand needs to clean his hand —Jisung feels kinda sorry— but also Jisung realises that he didn't do anything to... to... help Jeno. This night was all about him and with this realization he feels bad.
"No, it's fine. Are you okay?" His features suddenly look a lot softer than before he is almost back to his puppy-like aura. He nods as an answer. Jeno leaves the bed for a minute to clean his hands and Jisung fixes his underwear and shorts. Jisung feels awkward when Jeno comes back from the bathroom, he feels his face on fire and doesn't know where to look or what to say to older.
"We need to talk about this." Jeno says as he lays next to Jisung, holding younger's hand over the thin blanket. They are both not wearing any tshirts and Jisung doesn't think they will.
"Later," Jisung murmurs as he closes his eyes, he knows he is running away from having a proper talk with Jeno but honestly he is too tired to have that kind of conversation and he knows that he has tomorrow.
Later does not come anytime soon. After that... unforgettable night they spent together, Jisung can't seem to find the right opportunity to talk with Jeno. The morning following their intimate encounter was filled with awkward glances, stifled giggles in the bed, and a rapid retreat downstairs upon hearing Renjun's breakfast call. Since then, they've hardly had a moment alone. It's as though their friends have made it their personal mission to keep them from having any private time, always finding ways to occupy their attention or pull them into various activities.
To make matters worse, when Jisung later discusses the situation with Chenle, providing just enough information without delving into the explicit details (which both of them are grateful for), he begins to feel a wave of insecurity washing over him regarding everything that transpired.
"What if he thinks this is something normal?" Jisung frets aloud, his anxiety ringing in his voice. He could almost sense Chenle rolling his eyes through the phone.
"Come on, Jisung, you're overthinking this," Chenle responds with a trace of weariness, clearly exasperated by his best friend's doubts. "You've known Jeno for years. You know he's not that kind of person, especially not with his best friend's brother—especially not with you."
"People change," Jisung mutters, his fear kept low, barely audible.
"You can't just avoid it," Chenle advises earnestly. "In fact, you shouldn't."
A week passes, and Jisung finds himself returning home from Chenle's, finally anticipating some solitude and rest. This past week has been a constant headache, with him obsessing over every move and doing his best to steer clear of any encounters with Jeno. Tonight, his parents have a date night planned, and Jaemin is supposed to be out with some friends. So when he walks into the living room and discovers Jeno seated there in the dim light, it's enough to make him feel like he might faint.
"What are you doing here?" Jisung gasps, his breath catching from the shock.
"You've been avoiding me, Jisung. I'm here to talk," Jeno states, still looking as handsome as ever, but his trademark eye-smile is conspicuously absent, and his once-sparkling eyes seem dull.
"I wasn't avoiding you," Jisung mumbles quietly as he kicks off his shoes and moves towards Jeno. He settles on the sofa across from him.
Jeno arches an eyebrow but refrains from commenting on Jisung's words, choosing instead to fix his gaze on Jisung with unwavering determination.
"You're not talking or walking away until I'm done," Jeno insists, his tone firm and unwavering. Before Jisung can even react, Jeno begins to speak again. "I really like you, Jisung."
Jisung's eyes widen in surprise, and he opens his mouth to respond, but Jeno silences him with a gentle gesture. "You don't have to do anything with me," Jeno continues, his voice filled with sincerity. "I'm sorry if you felt like you were forced into something with me, but you really don't have to. I apologize for making you uncomfortable. If you're not okay with it, I won't come to your house to see Jaemin. You won't even have to see me. But you have to talk to me and tell me what you want me to do."
Jeno's desperation is palpable, and for a few moments, Jisung is left unsure about how to respond. This unexpected conversation catches him off guard, especially after spending the entire day at Chenle's place, contemplating his feelings.
"Hyung," Jisung begins cautiously, choosing his words carefully. "I was just scared. I don't know what this means. I don't know what anything means. I don't know what I'll do or what's going to happen." Jeno watches him intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hope. "But I do know one thing," Jisung continues, his voice filled with sincerity. "I really, really like you too."
Jisung's gaze falls to the floor, and inexplicably, the carpet becomes incredibly fascinating. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Jeno rising from his seat and drawing nearer. Then, to Jisung's surprise, Jeno kneels down in front of him, gently cupping Jisung's face to lift it.
The sparkle has returned to Jeno's eyes, and he's grinning with the same warmth and radiance as ever. Unconsciously, Jisung's lips curl into a matching smile. Jeno begins planting sweet kisses all over Jisung's face.
Amid the gentle stream of kisses, Jeno's voice flows, soft and velvety. "You worried me a lot," he confesses, before momentarily pausing in his ministrations to gaze at Jisung. His eyes are filled with an intensity that suggests he's trying to etch every contour of Jisung's face into his memory.
"I was wondering how I'd go on without seeing that adorable mix of confusion and frustration on your face," he adds, his voice laden with affection.
With a smile that radiates warmth, Jisung leans in, their lips meeting in a sweet and tender kiss.