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In a bar, in the small corner of the street, are four men with drinks in their hands and cigars on the table. It’s close to midnight and Yoongi is stressing out from the silence of his friends. He taps the table with his fingernails and looks around the small group. “Are you sure?” His friend of seven years, Jin, asks. They met sometime in high school when they played on the soccer team of their school, they had always seen each other around and then one day they started talking and never stopped. “Okay, so I’m taking that as a no?” Yoongi whines and rubs his face with the palms of his hands. “It’s not a no, per se..” Jimin chimes in as he puffs out the smoke from the cigarette. “Right, but you guys aren’t excited so what's that supposed to mean?” Yoongi takes a swig of his spiked drink, takes back the ring box and puts it in his pocket. “We’re excited!” Taehyung exclaims. “The ring is nice, Hoseok is going to love anything you give him.” Jimin smiles forcefully and Jin starts to laugh. “You’ve been trying to propose to Hoseok for about… two years now?”Jin asks and Yoongi shakes his head. “Yeah, and?” He questions, not really liking this energy that his supposed best friends are giving. “You always chicken out, stop playing us and him for fucks sake! Hoseok has been with you for six years and he’s still waiting on that ring.” Yoongi groans, he just wants support. He’s too nervous to propose. “Be honest.”
The entire group asks for the ring back, they analyze it, critique it, and then give it back. They offer new ideas of what his boyfriend may like. “I mean, he’s an artist. He’s going to want something creative, maybe rose gold?” Taehyung asks. “True, true, he loves rose gold.” Yoongi ponders and gets his friends to help him out, and by the time the bar is ready to close, the group is tipsy and smells of smoke. “Got it?” Jin asks as they all stand outside the bar, waiting for their taxi to come. “We’re so excited, I’m so excited. I’m so happy for you, really.” Jin smiles and can feel himself tear up. Yoongi laughs and pushes him. “Shut up.” He says. “I'm being for real.” Jin says. The friend group gathers in a circle and lace their arms around Yoongi. Despite the critiques of all the different rings Yoongi has shown them throughout the past two years, one more ring to change and Yoongi will propose to the love of his life, Jung Hoseok.
Jesus Christ, just the thought of Hoseok makes Yoongi dizzy. The way his hair is so perfectly brown and long that it forms a mullet (it’s the curls for Yoongi), the look his boyfriend gives in the bedroom turns him on every single time, the way they paint each other's nails is truly a bonding moment too. Everything, everything that is Hoseok, Yoongi loves. He can’t get enough, and it's time to officially make it official. Yoongi has been to the jewelry store across town for two years now, he can never commit to a good ring and finally when he thinks its the best to propose, he gets so nervous, he just might throw up. Just one more ring. In the cab, Yoongi sits beside his friends and takes another look at the ring. He realizes something, his friends are wrong. This is the perfect ring because Yoongi chose it, imagined it on Hoseok’s hand. He likes the white gold and the diamonds around the band that make it look amazing, and with it on his boyfriend's hand it would look exquisite. “I like it.” He mumbles drunkenly. “Propose.” Jin says.
The cab makes its first stop, dropping off Jimin, then Taehyung, Jin, and finally Yoongi. He pays for the ride and tucks the small box into his work satchel before stumbling into the building. “Thank you.” Yoongi bows at the doorman and makes his way to the lobby where he then takes the elevator. He steps in and burps loudly, he hates doing that but he’d rather do it now than later and have Hoseok slap his arm for burping in front of him. Yoongi presses the Penthouse Button and the elevator takes him all the way to the top of the building. He exits the elevator once it opens and looks at the round table with flowers on them, he takes one of the Lilly’s out of the vase and walks to the only door on the floor, his home with Hoseok. Yoongi uses his fingerprint to unlock the door, he steps in and the lights turn on. The clock on the wall reads 2:17am and Chewy, their 65 pound golden retriever comes with his tail wagging. “Hey buddy, I missed you.” Yoongi smiles and pets the dog before the dog retires to his bed in the living room. It’s extremely late so Yoongi closes the door behind him and walks into the bathroom to take a shower. As soon as he’s done, he hides the ring box inside of his shoe and tucks them underneath the bed. He sighs and sits down on his side of the bed. “Babe?” He hears Hoseok mumble. Before Yoongi can say anything or turn around, he feels Hoseok’s arms snake around him and engulf him from behind. Yoongi smiles and places his hands on top of Hoseok that are resting above his chest. “Did you have fun?” Hoseok asks in a sleepy voice. “I did, yeah. I haven’t seen them in a while.” Hoseok smiles tiredly and pulls Yoongi down onto the bed. “You saw them last week, you see them all the time.” Hoseok smiles and gives Yoongi a kiss on the cheek. “I know, but still. They’re my homies.” Yoongi smiles and Hoseok chuckles lightly. “You’re a little tipsy.” Hoseok whispers. “Mm, just a little.” He says. “Did you have dinner?” Hoseok asks. “No, but it's fine, it's fine baby, let's go to sleep.”
Yoongi kisses Hoseok tenderly in bed and as they pull away, Hoseok frowns. “I’ll make you something to eat.” Hoseok insists. “It’s late, and you’re tired, it's okay, thank you baby you’re so sweet. I love you.” Yoongi kisses Hoseok once more and it's enough for Hoseok to let it go. They hold each other in bed and talk about their day. “I’m sleepy.” Hoseok says, drunk with slumber. “Goodnight, I love you.” Hoseok kisses Yoongi’s nose and falls into a deep slumber right in his arms.
As soon as the sun starts to rise, Yoongi and Hoseok wake up and get ready for their morning walk with Chewy. “Come here please.” Yoongi can hear his boyfriend call for Chewy, but he’s so playful and excited that he won't listen. “You have to go to him.” Yoongi says with a small laugh. “Stoooopp.” Hoseok whines as he goes over to Chewy, he puts on Chewy’s harness and leash. “He needs to learn.” Hoseok says to Yoongi softly. “Yeah, but it’s okay.” Yoongi takes Chewy and they make their way downstairs and over to the dog park that's a 30 minute walk away from home.
It’s a cloudy day, Yoongi likes it. He likes the wind blowing through his long hair, the same length as his boyfriends. He likes the way the wind blows through Hoseok’s hair too, one thing that Yoongi doesn’t see enough of is Hoseok’s forehead and god does he love it when Hoseok shows it off. Especially with this style that Hoseok has right now, Yoongi could jump his bones right now if it weren't for the setting. “What?” Hoseok asks as he takes his eyes off of Chewy, who is now running around the park with other dogs. “You.” Yoongi interlaces their hands and Hoseok smiles, getting shy. “What about me?” He questions. “You’re gorgeous.” Yoongi pulls Hoseok’s hand to bring themselves closer. Hoseok looks away and hugs his boyfriend. “Thank you.” Hoseok whispers and he has tears in his eyes when they pull apart. Yoongi, concerned, cups Hoseok’s face and wipes away his boyfriend's tears. “What’s wrong, baby?” Yoongi asks. Still keeping a close eye on Chewy, they sit down on a bench next to the gate of the park. “I don’t feel pretty these days, or handsome or hot. It’s stupid, I know.” Hoseok explains and Yoongi furrows his eyebrows and holds Hoseok’s hand.
“You are, though.” Yoongi squeezes Hoseok’s hand and takes a glance at Chewy who is sniffing another dog's bum. “You’re the most hottest, gorgeous, beautiful person I have ever met, inside and out.” Yoongi kisses Hoseok’s hands and then his lips. “You’re a jewel Hoseok, why are you thinking this way?” Hoseok clears his throat and he’s embarrassed, just a little though, only a tiny bit. “I gained like three pounds this month.” Hoseok chuckles and Yoongi laughs and rolls his eyes. “And?” Yoongi asks. “And that’s a lot, I’m just a little stressed and those three pounds are getting to me.” Hoseok laughs and he has tears in his eyes from how ridiculous it sounds. “I love those three pounds.” Yoongi says as he wipes Hoseok's tears away. “Be for real, babe. I think I’m just stressed over the gallery I’m having next week. I need two more paintings and I’ve run out of ideas.” Hoseok whimpers and grips Yoongi’s hand. “What if my followers don’t like it? What then? I’ll become a Has Been .” Hoseok sniffles and Yoongi tries his best to comfort his lover. “If you like the paintings, what does it matter what they think? You can’t make everyone happy, and as long as you finish that’s an accomplishment. Hobi, you have paintings in museums all around the world, and especially here in Seoul and Gangnam. Don’t put yourself down, you’re a hot and sexy painter, okay? You’re hot as fuck.” Yoongi chuckles and Hoseok laughs with a roll of his eyes. “I love you.” Yoongi says. “I love you too, I’m sorry.” Hoseok hugs Yoongi and his heart feels a little lighter. “Let’s get Chewy and go to a café.” Yoongi stands up with his boyfriend and they make their way over to Chewy.
As they hold hands and walk past the streets of Gangnam, Yoongi’s not worried at all. He knows that sometimes whenever Hoseok has a new gallery showing he gets nervous, gets frustrated and all, and it’s nothing new. He’s not worried because he will be right there beside him in any situation. They stop by a cafe and talk more about Hoseok’s show next weekend. “Will we arrive together or should I just go with Jungkook and Namjoon?” Hoseok asks as he gives Chewy a small piece of his croissant. “I‘ll drive us there, babe.” Yoongi nods his head yes and takes a sip of his coffee before sitting back into his chair nonchalantly. “We could get dinner with friends afterwards to celebrate.” Yoongi suggests and it lights Hoseok up. “I’d love that, yes!”
The way home is a lot faster now that they’ve had their morning coffee (and cry), but it’s not over yet. Yoongi takes Hoseok’s hand once they’re in their penthouse, and kisses him. It’s timeless, it’s memorable, it’s everything and Yoongi loves him. “Let me show you how beautiful you are.” Yoongi whispers in his boyfriend's ear as he leads him towards the bedroom. With the door closed, and the curtains drawn, Yoongi shows Hoseok his true love, his obsession with his body, his loyalty and devotion. Just as Hoseok deserves, as he should be treated. “You’re beautiful.” Yoongi mumbles against Hoseok’s plump lips as he traces his fingers over Hoseok’s curves. He kisses his birthmark on his lip, kisses every single show of skin. Yoongi kisses him endlessly and falls even more in love because Hoseok does the same thing. “I love you.” Hoseok whispers. “Forever?” Yoongi asks, and Hoseok laughs like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. With Yoongi hovering his body over Hoseok’s, their belly’s touch as they laugh along, because it is a ridiculous question. “Forever.” Hoseok responds, he runs his fingers through Yoongi’s hair and reaches his head up to kiss Yoongi. “You’re the love of my life.” Hoseok says to him, he grips Yoongi’s hair as he picks up his pace.
Like all normal couples, they bicker sometimes. It’s the night before Hoseok’s gallery show and this night feels impossible.. They don’t know how it started at all, but all Yoongi does know is that this isn’t going to get them anywhere. “I don’t appreciate you coming home late without telling me.” Hoseok says to his boyfriend, he’s trying his best to be calm and to use the tactics his therapy app told him to use (words like: appreciate, disapprove, etc.). “My client is from a different country, I had—“ Hoseok throws his phone on the bed and looks around the bedroom before finally finding his lotion. “It’s not that, just tell me. That’s it, because I get worried and it pisses me off.” Hoseok sits down at his vanity and applies his lotion while looking into the mirror. “I-okay.” Yoongi chuckles. Hoseok stops and looks over at Yoongi. “What’s so funny?” He asks. Yoongi bites his tongue and shakes his head. “Nothing.” He responds as he takes off his work suit. “No, you’re laughing, what is it?” Yoongi walks around the bedroom in just his underwear as he takes a towel out of the drawer. “You’re mad that I’m coming home at midnight, but it's okay for you to stay at your art studio until 3am, okay.” Yoongi walks into the bathroom and turns the shower head on. He looks at himself in the mirror and rubs his face with frustration, but then he remembers the ring inside of his shoe under the bed and smiles. With guilt in his chest, he opens the door to find Hoseok who was about to open it. “I’m sorry.” They both speak at the same time. “I’ll call you if I’m going to be home late.” Yoongi says as he holds Hoseok’s hand. “And I’ll try to come home early when I’m at the studio.” Hoseok sighs, a small smile on his face. “Come here.” Yoongi pulls him into the bathroom with Hoseok giggling. “I already showered!” Hoseok laughs as Yoongi kisses his neck and shoulder repeatedly. “I wanna make you wet.” Yoongi smirks and Hoseok blushes as they step into the shower after Hoseok had stripped off his clothes. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you more sweetheart.”
After their shower together, the happy couple is dressed in their warm matching pajamas that Hoseok had gotten for the two of them, they rest in bed with their legs tangled between each other. Yoongi moves hair out of Hoseok’s forehead and brushes it back. “Your hair looks good this long, your curls too.” Yoongi chuckles and Hoseok smiles shyly. “My mullet isn't bad, is it?” His boyfriend questions. “Nah, it looks so good baby.” He says softly. “Okay, cause I wanted to get a haircut this weekend.” Hoseok scoots closer and closer until their noses touch. “Don’t, let it stay this long for a bit longer.” Yoongi says, and Hoseok runs his hands through Yoongi’s long hair, it's straight but curves just a little when he tucks it back. “I love your hair too, it's so pretty.” Yoongi’s hair is a lot longer than Hoseok’s too, “I like to grip it when you go down on me.” Hoseok grips Yoongi’s hair, receiving a wince and laugh. Yoongi laughs and slightly pushes Hoseok away from him. “Ouch.” Yoongi laughs and so does Hoseok. “Aw, come on. You like it, don’t lie.” Hoseok hugs Yoongi and gives him a small kiss. “I do like it, you’re right.” They laugh again until they stay quiet again.
“My mom called me. ” Hoseok says seriously and Yoongi doesn’t know how to react to the news. “Did you answer?” Yoongi asks. “No, but I can’t stop thinking about it.” Hoseok says. “Sometimes I think about going to their house and talking things out, because I could. I could forgive them if I wanted to, if they apologized-.” Yoongi clears his throat and interrupts him. “They haven’t and they won’t.” He says. Hoseok knows this is true, his parents are complicated, and his relationship with his family is strained. “I know.” Hoseok shuts his eyes closed and wraps his arms around his beloved. “They hate that we’re together, hate the fact that we’re gay. Hate that you’re a painter, they hate almost everything you love.” Yoongi’s words feel harsh to Hoseok, but he knows this is true, his parents were shocked when Hoseok came out, even more in disbelief when he brought Yoongi home to introduce him. They could deal with Hoseok picking art as his major, but their son with a man? God forbid he find true love and happiness. Pathetic, Yoongi thinks. “I know I should be pushing you to rekindle, but the things they’ve said to you… I can’t help but be mad. I’m sorry, I just don’t want them to hurt you.” Yoongi squeezes Hoseok tight and gives him a small kiss on his forehead. “No, I know babe. I’m just…” Hoseok sniffles and wipes his tears. “I wish they could see that it's not bad. I found the man of my dreams, I have a promising career, Chewy is the cutest and we’re so happy. I wish, I wish they could love me again or understand.” Yoongi furrows his eyebrows and with his thumb, wipes the tears away from Hoseok’s cheeks. “I’m sorry. I wish they would too, wish they could look at you now.” Yoongi rubs Hoseok’s back as they talk some more.
“All I need is you.” Hoseok says to Yoongi after a while. “You have me, I’m yours.” He says back in a whisper. “I have my own family here, you, Chewy, Jungkook, Becky, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung, Jin- all of you are my family, you know?” He asks and Yoongi nods his head. “Exactly, we all love you and support you.” Yoongi says. “Yeah, that’s what a family does. And when we have kids, I’m never going to be like them.” He says. “We’ll be amazing parents, and we will support them in anything and everything. I will love them unconditionally.” Hoseok cries and hugs his boyfriend. “You’ll be the best dad, our family will be full of love. Okay?” Yoongi’s heart hurts for his boyfriend, all of this sounds great but he knows Hoseok would love to have at least some sort of relationship with his blood family. “I love you.” Hoseok mumbles into Yoongi’s chest. “I love you more Hobi.”
➳
“You look so good, babe.” Hoseok says to his boyfriend. They’re running late, but what’s better than being fabulously and fashionably late? Yoongi and Hoseok are dressed in their best suits for the art showing tonight. Fridays are always reserved for a movie night, but they reckon this is better. “Thank you.” Yoongi says shyly as he fixes Hoseok’s cuff links, his boyfriend blushes and Yoongi can’t help but feel excited for tonight. “Are you nervous?” Yoongi asks, he walks into the bedroom and quickly takes the engagement ring box from his shoe and stuffs it inside of his suit. He jogs back towards Hoseok, who is looking around the kitchen for something to eat. “Yeah, a little. I’m more hungry than nervous though.” Hoseok giggles and shuts the fridge door closed. “It’s going to be great, I can’t wait to see the collection- you haven’t let me see it.” Yoongi playfully rolls his eyes and Hoseok smiles as he links his arm with Yoongi’s. “It’s a surprise.” Hoseok whispers and gets in front of Yoongi. Hoseok is just a few inches taller than Yoongi, but when they kiss, it doesn't feel like it. “Your palms are sweaty.” Hoseok says softly. “I’m just nervous for you.” He plays off. “Mm, you’re so sweet.” Hoseok coo’s and Yoongi presses his lips against Hoseok’s cheek. “Let’s go, the driver is waiting outside.” The couple say goodbye to their dog Chewy, and leave their penthouse. They arrive at the front of the building, thank the doorman for opening the door and then they get into the black SUV. They sit in the back and hold hands. “Love you.” Yoongi whispers in his ear, he lifts their hands and kisses Hoseok’s soft palm. In return, Yoongi receives a smile and has his boyfriend rest his head on his shoulder, followed by a reassuring squeeze in his hand.
The museum looks beautiful, Hoseok’s posters are up in flags by the light poles, his name is in big font and there is a photo op right by the doors. They arrive and everyone is calling for Hoseok, his friends, the museum's director, everyone who is anyone in the art community is here tonight. Yoongi loves coming to Hoseok’s events and being his arm candy. He remembers when people finally started to catch onto Hoseok’s art, he is incredibly proud of him, proud to be here, and proud to be his. “Hoseok, Hoseok over here!” The couple head over to the photo op and stand on the mini red carpet with a backdrop behind them. They take photos together, a kiss here and there, and finally Yoongi moves out of the photo op and lets Hoseok have his moment. The camera flashes go crazy, they shred right through Hoseok when he poses by himself. Yoongi smiles from the sidelines and holds Hoseok’s phone with him. “So happy for him.” A voice says beside Yoongi, he turns and sees that it’s Jungkook who’s also watching Hoseok from the sidelines. “Hey.” Yoongi and Jungkook do their little bro hug and chat for a bit until Hoseok walks towards them. He watches as they hug and greet themselves, “Let’s go inside.” They all walk in, Yoongi’s arm linked with Hoseok’s. Yoongi is awed to say the least. There’s caterers serving appetizers, all kinds of drinks, and headphones. “Headphones?” Yoongi asks as he looks at Hoseok. “Weird.” Hoseok smirks and takes Yoongi to the start of his gallery showing. The room is dark and full of people with headphones on. “Put them on.” Hoseok says, so they do. A video being projected from across the room, appears on the wall in front of him.
The video is black and white, and it’s Yoongi that appears to be eating a bowl of cereal. “Morning sleepy head.” Hoseok is behind the camera, giggling, “Morning my love.” It’s a short video of them together, a collage of dates and experiences, and it’s endearing and sweet that it brings a small tear to Yoongi’s eyes. The lights come on and Hoseok looks shocked that Yoongi is crying. “You never cry.” Hoseok coo’s and kisses him softly. “Did you like it?” He asks. “Yes, yes I loved it.” Yoongi confirms. The night goes on with loud music, good food, and great company. Jin is chatting up Namjoon in the corner, Jungkook is chatting with Taehyung in another, Jimin is teaching Becky how to tie a cherry stem into a knot with his mouth. Hoseok is with Yoongi, talking with important people that seem to be interested in buying his paintings and wanting them to be in their museum for a limited time. It’s the best night for them, and while they always have events like these as of recent, this one feels different. Yoongi can’t stop thinking of the paintings that his boyfriend made. It was a mix of surrealism, realism, and abstract, it was all very good, but Yoongi’s favorite was the collage of them.
They all go to dinner, and everyone is extra happy, extra excited, and a little nervous for Yoongi. Tonight’s the night that Yoongi will propose to the love of his life. They arrive at the restaurant that is empty because Yoongi rented it out for the night, of course, and its full of flowers, all different kinds and they’re all just for Hoseok. “Babe!” Hoseok gasps and looks around, “Are these for me?” He asks. Yoongi smirks and shrugs his shoulders, acting nonchalant. “Yeah.” He says coolly, and Hoseok gives him a kiss on the cheek, it’s simple and normal but to Yoongi, it means the world to him. He always felt like the big guy in the relationship, despite his height against his boyfriend, people would always describe Yoongi as cold or quiet, but that’s not the Yoongi Hoseok has learned to know. It’s moments like these where the two of them really shine. “I kind of want to go home.” Hoseok whispers seductively in his ear. They’re now sitting down at the table with all of their friends as dinner is being served, their friends are laughing and dining, and it makes for the perfect time to do it. Yoongi chuckles and places his hand on Hoseok’s thigh underneath the table. “Soon, let’s celebrate you.” Yoongi says softly. Hoseok smiles and nods his head.
Throughout the dinner, Yoongi slowly realizes that maybe this isn’t the time or place to propose. Hoseok is high off his successful night, feels light because of his boyfriend and his friends and the dinner, so Yoongi doesn’t propose. No, instead he holds his boyfriend's hand and watches him shine from the sidelines. Instead, he smiles to himself because he will propose in private, like he wanted to for so long. “Ready?” He asks his boyfriend, they’re the last people to leave and Hoseok is full and happy. “Yeah, baby, let me just go to the restroom.” Hoseok says with a small yawn. Yoongi waits and finally they leave together hand in hand. “We’re just going to walk home, yeah.” Yoongi tells their driver. “You’re sure?” The man asks. “Yes, thank you for driving us.” Yoongi takes out a few hundred bills and hands it to the driver as a tip.
They watch as the car drives away, the summer night so cold and the moon shines just above them. They slowly walk home with their arms linked and Hoseok’s head on Yoongi’s shoulder. “Did you have fun tonight?” Hoseok asks. “I did, thank you for inviting me.” Yoongi says softly, to which Hoseok laughs. “You’re always invited. Even if we aren’t together in the future.” Hoseok says back, to which Yoongi stops walking and looks down at his boyfriend. Hoseok lifts his head from his boyfriend's shoulder and holds back from wanting to laugh. Yoongi raises an eyebrow and scoffs. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” He says as he continues to walk with his man. “I’m kidding.” Hoseok giggles. “You better be.” Yoongi says seriously. Hoseok sighs and stops walking, he stands in front of Yoongi and gives his pout a small kiss. “I’m just kidding, baby. Are you mad?” Hoseok moves a few strands of hair away from Yoongi’s face and gives him another chaste kiss. Yoongi looks away and shakes his head. “No, I’m not mad.” He says in a soft voice. “You’re mad.” Hoseok confirms, he feels his cheeks get red with embarrassment, he forgets that sometimes Yoongi can be sensitive to jokes like these. It’s just that Hoseok sees it as a funny thing, because that’ll never happen. Them not being together isn’t a thing, it’ll never happen ever . So he jokes about it happening. “I’m not, Seok.” Yoongi says. “Babe, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” Hoseok takes his hand and Yoongi squeezes it before letting go. “Let’s just get home.” Yoongi says as he starts to walk again. Hoseok catches up from behind and links their arms together again, resting his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Hoseok whispers. “I love you.”
Yoongi stays quiet and continues to walk home with his boyfriend. Once they get home, Chewy runs up to the both of them. “I’m gonna shower.” Yoongi says to Hoseok after they finished petting Chewy. “Okay, I’m gonna take Chewy out for a quick pee.” Hoseok says as he opens the door again. “I’ll go with you then.” Yoongi says. “No, it’s okay. It’ll just be a few minutes.” Hoseok closes the door and Yoongi retires to the restroom. Yoongi strips out of his clothes, sets the engagement box by the sink, locks the bathroom door, and gets into the steamy shower. He’s overthinking, a little sensitive too. But a small part of him feels weird, Yoongi’s thinking of marriage and Hoseok is making jokes of breaking up. It doesn’t make sense to him anymore, Hoseok every now and then brings up a joke or comment of not being together anymore. And Yoongi hates it when they argue, Hoseok always throws the “maybe this isn’t working” card. It scares the fuck out of Yoongi, even though he knows not to take it seriously. Yoongi snaps out of his thoughts when he hears the doorknob shake. “Babe? Why’d you lock the door?” He can hear Hoseok from the other side of the door. Yoongi looks over at the engagement ring box that’s casually on the counter and quickly steps out to hide it somewhere inside the bathroom. With the water still running, Yoongi wraps a towel around his waist and opens the door. “Why’d you lock it?” Hoseok asks as soon as they make eye contact. “Why’d you say that earlier?” Yoongi asks. Hoseok’s eyes light up and he laughs. “I knew you were mad!” Hoseok chuckles and takes a step closer.
“I was just kidding, stop being mad at me please.” Hoseok whines and places a hand on Yoongi’s waist. He plays with the little knot Yoongi made to keep the towel from falling. “I don’t like that, Seok. You know this.” Yoongi sighs and Hoseok feels guilty now. “I’m sorry.” Hoseok says, cheeks maroon. “I-.” Yoongi closes his mouth and shrugs. “It’s fine.” He says. “Can I go back to my shower now?” Yoongi asks. And Hoseok fights his tears back. “I thought we were gonna have sex?” Hoseok asks. Yoongi gulps and doesn’t know what to say. “I’m tired.” He says. “Okay, um… okay, can I join your shower then?” Hoseok asks, he tugs onto Yoongi’s towel and steps closer. “Yeah.” Yoongi says softly. Hoseok steps inside the bathroom and closes the door behind him. Yoongi takes his towel off, tosses it somewhere and heads back into the shower, Hoseok following soon after. The older male watches as Hoseok soaks into the water that streams from above. “I’m sorry.” Hoseok says softly. “It’s fine, please stop apologizing.” He says back. Yoongi uses all of the products that he uses into his hair, bathes himself some more and leaves the bathroom after he’s dried himself, leaving Hoseok inside.
In bed, Yoongi lays down and opens his iPad to read all of his emails, respond to a few as well. Hoseok dries his hair with a small towel before tossing it in the clothing bin. He lays beside Yoongi and looks over at the iPad. “Whatcha doin?” He asks. “Just some last minute work.” Yoongi says softly. Hoseok sighs and takes the iPad away. “Talk to me.” He says. “Seok, c’mon.” Yoongi reaches for the iPad, but Hoseok tosses it to the far end of the bed. “Hold me.” Hoseok says softly. “Seok—'' Hoseok cuts Yoongi off with a needy kiss, and Yoongi is smitten. He can’t stay mad, he can’t. Not when he has Hoseok who loves him. Hoseok climbs onto Yoongi’s lap and wraps his arms around his neck, while Yoongi places his large hands onto Hoseok’s small waist. They kiss and kiss, until Hoseok moves his beautiful plump lips over to Yoongi’s neck. He kisses his boyfriend’s neck, licks a small spot and then sucks with his teeth sunk into his neck. Yoongi moans and straddles Hoseok’s hips, one hand now on Hoseok’s waist and the other on his butt. “I love you.” Hoseok pants as he pulls back to look into his boyfriend's eyes. “I love you and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t joke like that. I just want to see your reaction sometimes, you know? We’ve been together for so long and I feel like… me joking around like that validates that you’re not going to leave me.”
It comes as a shock to Yoongi, this sudden validity that Hoseok needs from him. As if Yoongi would leave, he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Ever. Yoongi frowns and moves up to kiss Hoseok. “Why? Why would I leave you? I’d never leave you, ever. I love you so much, I’d never.” Yoongi says softly. Hoseok sniffles, he feels silly for even thinking it, for saying it aloud. “Cause there’s no ring.” He says softly. “People always ask if I’m married. I want to say yes.” Hoseok hints at Yoongi and Yoongi’s heart races, he chuckles and kisses Hoseok again. “Don’t worry about that, let them say or ask whatever they want. I’m here, you have me. And I’m not going anywhere, I love you so much. I’m sorry for being mad.” Yoongi chuckles at the last part, and so does Hoseok. “It’s okay, I’m sorry for saying it.” Hoseok says softly. “We don’t need a ring to be together forever, you know?” Yoongi says softly. Hoseok pecks Yoongi’s cheeks and shrugs. “Yeah, but we could just go to the courthouse and get married there. I know you don’t want a big wedding, but we could at least do that and have our friends come.” Hoseok suggests and Yoongi doesn’t know what to say without spoiling the surprise. “I don’t know, babe.” Yoongi says instead. “Come on, babe. What’s… what’s holding us back? We have everything but that.” Hoseok says. Yoongi runs his hands up and down Hoseok’s sides and sighs. Hoseok flicks Yoongi’s forehead and Yoongi winces. “Ouch, what was that for?” Yoongi mumbles. “You’re sighing when I’m talking about getting married, that’s rude. Just say that you don’t want to marry me.” Hoseok says as he gets off of his boyfriend. Yoongi reaches for Hoseok’s hand, but Hoseok pulls away.
“You know, maybe I’m right.” Hoseok says tearfully. “About what?” Yoongi asks. “That we don’t work.” There it is, Yoongi hates it when Hoseok says this, a hint of rage and sadness fills Yoongi within and though he knows Hoseok is just saying this to spite him, it hurts to hear. “I shouldn’t have to beg for you to marry me. You’re lucky I even want to. Any guy would marry me in the blink of an eye.” Hoseok says to Yoongi as he gets off of the bed, Hoseok makes his way to his vanity and starts applying his lotion. Yoongi stands up from the bed and walks over to him. “Any guy?” Yoongi asks. “Yeah, any guy. The guy who lives right below us likes me, the doorman, my art collector likes me- literally anyone would want to marry me.” Hoseok says matter of factly, with attitude. “I want to marry you, too.” Yoongi says as he kneels down before Hoseok. “No you don’t, I’ve been bringing this up since we had our 2 year anniversary. We're 6 years now, almost 7 and I finally got the hint. Maybe we need a break.”
Yoongi gets up and sighs, he could fix this right now if he got down on one knee, but this isn’t the way he wants their engagement story to be, over a fight. It’s a waiting game now and Yoongi will propose when the timing is right. Hoseok finishes putting lotion on and walks back to the bed. “You’re right. We need a break.” Yoongi says softly. Hoseok’s stern face turns soft and he’s in disbelief because Yoongi would always say ‘ no we don’t need a break.’ Every single time, Hoseok would only say this to scare Yoongi. They both knew he wouldn’t mean it, but the fact that Yoongi agreed… scares him . Hoseok opens his mouth to say something, but Yoongi walks out of the room and heads over to the guest room instead. He lays down and looks up at the ceiling, they’re fine. It’s fine, just a little space for tonight should be enough . Yoongi feels the bed sink in beside him and it’s Chewy who came in to sleep. Yoongi pets him and slowly falls asleep with the golden retriever by his feet.
Yoongi wakes up in the middle of the night, he can’t sleep without Hoseok. So he stands up and walks over to the bedroom, he smiles softly when he hears his boyfriends little snores. Yoongi walks over to the restroom, takes the engagement ring that he hid and goes over to the bed. He lays down beside Hoseok, and it stirs him awake. “Baby?” Hoseok mumbles tiredly. “I’m here.” Yoongi whispers. Hoseok whimpers and wraps his arms around Yoongi, his boyfriend holds him back and kisses his cheek. “I’m sorry.” Hoseok sniffles and Yoongi pulls back. “I’m sorry too.” He says. He pecks Hoseok’s lips and then his forehead. “Don’t ever sleep anywhere else again, I want you here.” Hoseok says softly. Yoongi chuckles as they cuddle. They go under the covers and talk. “I love you, you’re the love of my life and I want to marry you, I want to call you my husband. I want you to have my last name, I want it all babe.” Yoongi says softly. Yoongi takes out the ring from his pocket and slides it into Hoseok’s hand. It’s dark, but Hoseok knows what this ring means, it’s everything he’s wanted. Hoseok gasps and engulfs Yoongi into a hug. “Will you marry me?” Yoongi says, muffled by Hoseok being on top of him. “Yes!” Hoseok laughs and kisses Yoongi repeatedly. “I love you, I love you, yes, yes.” Hoseok sniffles and Yoongi gets teary-eyed as well. “I love you more.” Yoongi figures that any engagement story is the best story.
➳
“Oh my god!” Hoseok groans, squeezes his eyes shut as his body twitches a little. Yoongi looks up at Hoseok and closes his eyes as he comes inside of his fiancé . Yoongi grips Hoseok’s hips until his fiancé collapses on top of him. Hoseok wraps his arms around Yoongi’s body as he tries to catch his breath. “I love you.” Hoseok pants out with a laugh and he looks so sexy like this, on top of Yoongi with sweat on his body, and his hair stuck to his forehead. They have a dazed look as Yoongi finally pulls out “I love you.” Yoongi says back. Hoseok cups Yoongi’s face and they start to make out a little more. Now that they’re engaged, they can’t seem to keep their hands off each other, this engagement only brought them closer, Yoongi wished he had done it a lot earlier too, they would’ve been married by now. “Round 4?” Hoseok asks as he pulls back. Yoongi laughs and Hoseok giggles along with him. “Bathroom?” Yoongi asks. “Kitchen.” Hoseok says instead, it only makes Yoongi laugh even more. “You’re crazy, we eat in there, I eat in there.” Yoongi chuckles and shakes his head. Hoseok smiles and pecks his lips. “You can eat me …” Hoseok winks, and Yoongi is sold. After they're done, they take a small bath together and then proceed to clean the kitchen before finally cooking dinner. “I think I love you even more now, if that’s even possible.” Yoongi says as he cooks the eggs. “Ever since we got engaged, I feel like my love for you has… I don’t know! It’s weird, I feel like I love you even more. I’m more connected to you. Imagine when we’re married?” Hoseok says with a smile as he grabs Yoongi’s hoodie from the closet. Yoongi’s heart skips a beat, he can only imagine what it would feel like to marry Hoseok.
Hoseok puts the hoodie on, it fits him like a mini dress, and makes his way to the kitchen again. The ramen is ready, so is the tteokbokki and the egg, along with some of their favorite snacks on the side. “Thank you.” Hoseok smiles as they settle down in the living room area, overlooking the skyline of the city. Yoongi hums in response and they put their favorite show on to catch up; The Walking Dead. As always, Hoseok loves this show but he still finds it scary, so he clings to Yoongi and their shared blanket. A little later and they find themselves in bed, this is their perfect day. “I love you.” Hoseok whispers. “I love you more.” Yoongi caresses Hoseok’s hair and places a kiss on his forehead. “Today was the best day, I want to have more days like this. Just stay home, do whatever.” Hoseok cuddles into Yoongi’s chest and gives him a kiss. “I had a great day too, babe. Yes, we should. Next weekend?” Yoongi asks. “Yes, let’s take a trip to the beach house?” Hoseok asks. “Perfect.” Yoongi responds tiredly. “Can I paint you tomorrow?” Hoseok asks. “Mmhm.” Yoongi struggles to keep his eyes open as he talks with his fiancé. “You drive tomorrow though, I want to be passenger princess.” Hoseok says with a small smile. “Whatever you want, my love.”
➳
“Sit up straight!” Hoseok yells, Yoongi laughs in his seat as he fixes his position. When Yoongi gets to pose for Hoseok, he forgets how serious and professional his fiancé is. It scared him at first, he remembers being so nervous when he posed nude for him back in college. Yoongi had a big crush on him at the time, which made him extra vulnerable. Yoongi isn't nude, but it feels like it when Hoseok stares at him like this. “Sorry.” Yoongi says. Hoseok takes out his phone and plays his favorite playlist, he ignores his fiancé and goes back to painting him. “You’re perfect, I’m jealous.” Hoseok says to his fiancé, just as he’s finishing the painting. Yoongi sits on Hoseok’s lap and watches as his fiancé paints. Art has always brought them together, it's what kept them in touch, it's how they met, and how they fell in love. Yoongi kisses Hoseok’s cheek, and this is one of those moments when he feels small. “Shut up.” Yoongi laughs, he gets up from his lap and heads over to Hoseok’s desk. While Hoseok finishes, Yoongi gets his laptop and his iPad out to go over some work for a case he has.
“Shut up!” Becky, Hoseok’s friend screams. Jungkook, Taehyung, Jin, Jimin and Namjoon all look over and notice the ring on Hoseok’s hand. Hoseok shows it off proudly as the group of friends cheer them on. “I love it!” Becky hugs Hoseok and they all toast to the two of them. “Finally.” Jin laughs. Jimin hugs Hoseok as they enter the restaurant. The booth is tight, but it fits them like a glove. Yoongi and Hoseok sit next to each other, their smiles never leaving their faces. “I just want to toast to both of you guys, I love you so much. I’m so happy for you, especially Yoongi. You have… a beautiful man by your side, he’s amazing, funny, witty-.” Jin pulls Jungkook down. Hoseok laughs and rests his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. Jungkook is drunk, and he most likely regrets never showing up to his date with Hoseok 6 years ago. Oh well, Hoseok is happy and engaged, and has the best man by his side. Yoongi clears his throat, he’s never seen Jungkook as a threat, even when he found out Hoseok and Jungkook almost dated. Of course, that was a year before they all met. “I really am happy for you guys, I love you two, seriously.” Jungkook takes a swig of his drink and offers Yoongi a small smile. “Thank you, kookie.” Hoseok says cutely.
The rest of the night is spent bar hopping, they all go out to celebrate their engagement. “I miss you.” Hoseok says drunkenly to his fiancé. “I’m right here.” Yoongi laughs. They sit at the bar, sipping on cheap beer as they watch their friends dance with strangers to music. “I miss you .” Hoseok whispers, slipping his hand to Yoongi’s thigh. Yoongi smirks and stands up, he downs his beer and takes Hoseok’s hand. “Guys, we’re gonna go.” Yoongi says. “Aw, what?”
“Really?”
“We just got here.”
“We’re just really tired, we’ll see you all at the beach house this weekend though, right?” Hoseok asks as he grabs his phone. “Yes, yes.” Namjoon says. “See you guys, drive safe.” Becky smiles and gives Hoseok a hug. “Love you guys, bye.” Jin says. Yoongi hugs everyone goodbye and heads out the door with Hoseok. It’s a warm summer night, a little bit of sticky skin, which makes for a perfect shower time with Hoseok. Yoongi hails a cab and gets in the backseat with his fiancé. “Hi, how are you?” Yoongi asks the driver. “Mm.” The driver mumbles. Hoseok eyes Yoongi and just shrugs. Yoongi gives the driver their address and soon they’re on their way. Hoseok sighs happily and rests his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. “You’re my favorite pillow.” Hoseok says with a smile. Yoongi holds Hoseok’s hand and smiles softly. “I love you, Yoongi.” Hoseok says to him in a whisper. Yoongi looks out the window and then towards the front of the car. He notices the car on the right isn’t going to stop, and before he could warn the driver and Hoseok, the next thing Yoongi knows is darkness. He can faintly hear screaming, glass shattering. Now he’s upside down, wait no, he’s flipping. The car is flipping over and over again. He can hear Hoseok’s screams right beside him, and can hear the driver grunt as the airbags pop out. His ears start to ring, and before he can open his eyes, he passes out.
Yoongi gasps for air as he wakes up. He moves his eyes around and notices the car he’s in is flipped and on fire. There's commotion, ringing in his ears, his face stings due to the fresh cuts and heat from the fire. He turns to the side and starts hyperventilating when he sees Hoseok. Yoongi can feel his mouth trying to speak, but he doesn’t. Instead, he struggles to take the seat belt off. Once he does, he falls onto the top of the car, which is now the bottom, Yoongi furrows his eyebrows and takes Hoseok’s seatbelt off of him and catches him to the best of his ability. Yoongi covers Hoseok’s face and drags him out of the car through the broken glass window. “Hoseok!” He screams as he holds him in his arms. A crowd starts to form, he can faintly hear sirens nearing, and yet no one helps. “Wake up, wake up!” Yoongi grunts as he carries his fiancé farther from the fire and car.
Yoongi’s heart stops when Hoseok opens his eyes. His fiancé takes a deep breath and grips Yoongi’s arm. “Yoongi.” Hoseok gasps as he looks around. “Thank you, thank you.” Yoongi cries as he holds Hoseok in his arms. “I love you.” Hoseok whimpers out as he looks down at his leg that has a large flesh wound. Hoseok passes out again with Yoongi on his mind and three words on the tip of his tongue.
➳
Jungkook, Becky and Namjoon all sit by Hoseok’s side. They monitor him, trying to be at the hospital every single day for the past two weeks. Jimin, Jin and Taehyung come every single day to check on both of them. Yoongi woke up from his two week coma two days ago, the doctors are saying Hoseok should be waking up any time soon now. “He’s not okay.” Jin says to Taehyung in a whisper. “He’s just worried over Hoseok.” Taehyung says back. “I know, but…” Jin sighs and rubs his eyes, they haven’t gotten much sleep these past days. “Be patient.” Taehyung insists. “Okay.”
Yoongi’s elbow had popped out when they crashed. He had a few shards of glass on his hands from breaking the window to escape. Yoongi suffered a few tiny cuts on his face, and bruising on his ribs. Hoseok, on the other hand, suffered trauma to his head. When the cars collided, his head hit the window and then again towards the seat. The doctors explain that’s why Hoseok hasn’t woken up yet, but Yoongi can’t wait any longer. He finds himself praying, finds himself crying hysterically when he wakes up from his sleep. Yoongi looks out of the window of the hospital with dull eyes, chapped lips, and a pale face. He lays in silence as his friends talk amongst themselves. “Can I see him?” Yoongi asks the nurse as soon as she walks in. “I feel better, please.” Yoongi begs. The nurse checks his vitals and looks around. “Fine, I’ll bring a wheelchair.” This is the most exciting moment Yoongi has had, his heart rate picks up on the monitor where Jin smiles and tells him to calm down. “I can walk.” Yoongi says. “Just let them wheel you there.” Jin says from the couch. “I can walk.” Yoongi says. So he sits up, winces a little but manages to get up. The nurse walks with him to Hoseok’s room. Just like Yoongi’s room, Hoseok’s room is full of flowers and gift baskets with get-well-soon cards. Yoongi sits on the corner of Hoseok’s bed and he immediately breaks down. He holds his fiancé’s hand and gives it a small squeeze. “I love you.” Yoongi says softly. “Can I have some privacy, please?” Yoongi asks, never looking away from Hoseok. All of the nurses, and friends leave the room just for him. “I’m so sorry.” Yoongi apologizes to his beloved, he leans over and kisses his forehead tenderly. He wishes and prays for him to wake up soon. The only thing that keeps Yoongi going is the fact that doctors have repeatedly confirmed his brain is active. “I’m here, baby. I love you, I love you.” These days pass by in slow motion, Yoongi was discharged from the hospital so he stays with Hoseok as long as he can. He talks to him, places lotion on his face and rolls the chapstick on his lips. “We’re getting married, take your time in waking up. I’m not rushing you, but we have a wedding to plan.” Yoongi whispers. He’s sitting on a chair right beside a sleeping Hoseok while holding his hand.
“Look over to the person on your right.” The art professor says casually. Yoongi looks over to his right and sees a pretty girl right next to him. She smiles politely and bows her head. Yoongi does the same and takes his pencil, assuming they are now partners. “Good, now switch seats with them and say hello to your new partners.” The room is full of chatter and Yoongi rolls his eyes at the professor's trick. “Hi.” Yoongi says as he switches seats. The boy next to him turns and smiles. “Hey, I’m Hoseok.” Yoongi is mesmerized, he’s never seen someone like him, someone with a smile like that, someone with the prettiest eyes. “You don’t look like you like art.” The new partner, Hoseok, says. Yoongi clears his throat and shrugs. “I like looking at art.” He says softly, they lock eyes and stare, almost staring into each other's souls. “Me too, but I like making it.” Hoseok says softly. “Sorry, what’s your name again?” Hoseok asks. “Yoongi, nice to meet you. How old are you?” Yoongi asks as he takes out his sketchbook. “Yoongi.” He says sweetly. “I’ve never heard that name before, it’s very nice.” Hoseok says with a small smile. “I’m 20, yeah.” Hoseok says after. Yoongi smiles at Hoseok’s compliment. “You’re, I'm guessing, 20?” Hoseok asks as he searches for his pencil. “21, actually.” Yoongi says softly as he hands Hoseok his pen. “So, if you don’t like creating art, why are you taking this class?” Hoseok asks. “Well, I need it to graduate, trust me I tried to find some other elective but they were all taken.” At the end of the class, Hoseok hands Yoongi a small piece of paper, on it is a portrait of Yoongi sketched out in pen. “I’m glad all the other electives were taken.” Hoseok says with a small smile on the corner of his mouth. Yoongi looks down at the paper and then looks up to watch Hoseok walk away. Funny how they ended up in the same room at the same time.
August is the hottest month of the year, but its been raining lately, the weather is windy and cloudy, making it match Yoongi’s mood. Jin and Jungkook finish making Yoongi a snack as he takes a shower. There’s loud tumbling in the bathroom that jerks Jin and Jungkook heads up. They rush over to the restroom and knock on the door. “Are you okay?” They say simultaneously. “Yoongi? I’m coming in.” Jin says as he places his hand on the door knob. Yoongi opens the door, his cuts on his face and lip look pink because of the water, the white cast on his arm looks painful. “He’s awake.” He says with a smile, he’s panting as he looks at him. “Hoseok, he’s awake, we have to go!” Yoongi pushes pass them and trips as he looks for his shoes by the door. With hope and excitement inside of them, the small group of friends travel to the hospital. Yoongi walks through the door and smiles as he sees Hoseok chatting with Becky and Namjoon. Namjoon stands up, and theres a questioning look on his face that Yoongi can’t quite decipher. Hoseok looks over at Yoongi and stares at him, Yoongi smiles and walks over to him, but the doctor stops him. “Let’s speak outside.” He says. Yoongi, confused, walks out of the room and into the hallway with everyone but Becky. “Is he okay?” Yoongi asks. “Your fiancé… it seems like he is suffering from post-traumatic amnesia.” The doctor sympathizes with Yoongi. “W-what?” Yoongi closes his eyes, and his friends are just as shocked as him. “But, but hes talking with Namjoon and Becky?” Yoongi asks the doctor. “I have examined him, asked him questions. In Hoseok’s mind, he is no longer 26 years old, he’s 20 years old and the year for him is Summer 2016 instead of 2023.”
Yoongi feels like his breathing has slowed down, he looks around but feels like it’s in slow motion. He can hear his heart thumping against his chest and his palms turn cold with sweat. There’s ringing in his ears and then darkness surrounds him. If it weren’t for Jin and Jungkook, Yoongi would’ve fainted and fallen to the ground, but they caught him just in time. The doctor sits down with Yoongi right outside Hoseok’s room and explains everything again in greater detail. “What you need to do, is call his parents because I’ve noticed they’re not here, okay? He’s a little scared, okay? What we want is his memory back, so next visit try to bring things that will possibly bring his memory back. Pictures, preferably.” This can’t be happening. Yoongi can hear the doctor, he knows his mouth is moving, but he’s not really listening, not really there. Jin is crying, Jungkook is too. Taehyung is on his way with Jimin, they’ll be here anytime soon. “How old were you when you met him?” The doctor asks. “21.” Yoongi responds. “And you two?” The doctor asks the friends. “22.” Jin responds. “20.” Jungkook says. They all look at Jungkook like he’s the chosen one, and Yoongi wants to break down, he can feel his skin tightening, can feel his jaw lock and his eyes water. Jin places a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder and caresses it, it’s small but it brings Yoongi back. “Let’s go in.” The doctor says.
The door opens and Yoongi walks right behind the doctor, his friends right behind. Hoseok looks over at the door and he’s smiling, like always. Yoongi smiles back, he recognized him for sure. 6, almost 7 years together, he has to have remembered him. Hoseok looks at the doctor, looks at Jin, and then at Yoongi, but his eyes lock with Jungkook. “Jungkook.” Hoseok says softly. Their eyes go wide and Jungkook walks over to Hoseok’s bed and embraces him. “Oh my god.” Jungkook whispers with tears in his eyes. “You look the same, but different… older.” Hoseok says with confusion. “Some time has passed, yeah.” Jungkook says. Yoongi watches with defeat. “You’re my fiancé, right Jungkook?” Hoseok asks. The room goes silent. “Namjoon and Becky have caught me up a bit. I’m a little surprised, not shocked though.” Hoseok says softly with a smile. Yoongi gulps and looks away. “Can everyone step outside for a minute?” Yoongi announces. Everyone looks his way and starts to get up, Hoseok looks confused when everyone actually steps out of the room.
“Hi.” Yoongi says softly. Hoseok looks at him and feels a bit awkward. “Hi, I’m sorry, do we know each other?” Hoseok says as he sits up. Yoongi feels his heart drop to his stomach and he wants to cry like a little kid. Hoseok winces and Yoongi rushes to his side. “You okay?” Yoongi asks. Hoseok takes a sharp inhale and nods his head. “Yeah, just still sore I guess.” Yoongi sits down on the chair right beside Hoseok and sighs. “I’m Yoongi.” He says softly. “Yoongi.” Hoseok repeats. “I’ve never heard that name before.” Hoseok says softly. “It’s very nice.” He says after. Yoongi feels his heart beating against his chest, Hoseok has always been kind. “Thank you.” Yoongi says. “Who are you? Are you a doctor too? Why did everyone listen to you when you asked them to leave?” Hoseok asks in confusion. Yoongi clears his throat and looks away for a second, before locking eyes with Hoseok. “I’m Min Yoongi.” He says. “I’m your fiancé and we’ve been together for 6 years. Almost 7 in a few months.” Yoongi says with might and hopes that this will sound a bell for his fiancé. Hoseok’s eyes go wide, and Yoongi notices a few healing cuts and bruises on his arms and face. “ You’re my fiancé?” Hoseok asks. “Yeah.” Yoongi says as his voice breaks.
Hoseok chuckles nervously and looks around the room. “I don’t know you.” He says. Yoongi puts his lips in a thin line and nods his head softly. “I know, I know. But I’m going to help you get your memory back and we can go back to normal.” Yoongi says with confidence as he reaches over to hold Hoseok’s hand. Hoseok slowly pulls his hand away, not knowing what to say to that. Yoongi surprises himself with his calm demeanor, but it’s taking everything in him not to break down. “I have so many questions.” Hoseok says in a soft tone. “I’m scared.” Hoseok, for some reason, feels his body relax a little and feels the need to confess how he’s feeling. “I’m here.” Yoongi’s eyes water and he hangs his head low as he grips the bed sheet. “Sorry, I’m sorry for making you feel this way, I just don’t know you. The only thing I know right now is we were in an accident.” Hoseok explains. Yoongi sniffles and wipes his tears away as he looks at Hoseok, who looks just as hurt. “What else do you know or what do you remember, where is your mind at right now?” Yoongi asks with desperation. Hoseok closes his eyes and searches his brain. “I woke up and I thought I was 20. Summer before second year of college. That’s it. When did we meet?” Hoseok asks. Yoongi’s heart breaks as he listens to the love of his life not recognize him. “We met that fall, in September.” Hoseok sighs and tries to rub his face, but the bruises hurt too much. Yoongi looks out the window and quickly wipes his tears that were threatening to fall. “My parents…” Hoseok speaks with a soft, fragile tone. “Why haven’t they come to see me?” He asks finally.
Yoongi sniffles and clears his throat. “Your family doesn’t speak to us.” He says. “They stopped all communication with us five years ago.” To this, Hoseok jerks his head back in confusion. “What? My parents? No, that’s impossible. That’s my family .” Hoseok argues. “I know, I’m sorry to tell you this, but it's true.” Hoseok scoffs and shakes his head. “You’re lying.” He says angrily. “Why would they stop talking to me?” Hoseok asks. “Why in the world would I stop talking to my own mother, are you crazy?” Hoseok’s heart rate starts to pick up on the monitor and Yoongi stands up. “Please, please calm down.” Yoongi holds Hoseok’s hand, but he yanks his hand away, scratching Yoongi’s hand in the mix. Yoongi winces and takes a step back. “We have our reasons, baby. I’ll tell you in detail when we can go home.” Yoongi sighs and sits back down on the chair he was sitting on before. “Don’t call me that.” As the monitor beeps beside them, Hoseok finally calms down. Time doesn't feel real anymore, Yoongi feels like he’s in space. “I’ll call them.” He says. “Good.”
With a lump in his throat, Yoongi calls Hoseok’s parents right then and there. He explains what's happened, and they promise to be on their way soon. “Can everyone come in now?” Hoseok asks. “Yeah.” Yoongi walks over to the door and invites everybody in. They all get to talking, Jin introduces himself, but Hoseok doesn’t recognize him, does not recognize Jimin or Taehyung either. They all try to catch up as Yoongi stands in the back of the room, with his back against the wall. He feels left out, this isn’t the way. This shouldn’t be happening at all. He watches the way Hoseok looks at Jungkook, and it brings back a few memories. He hates it, Hoseok should be looking at Yoongi the way he’s looking at Jungkook. “Are you hungry, do you need anything?” Yoongi asks his fiancé. Hoseok looks up and shakes his head. “No, thanks.” Yoongi nods his head and leaves the room, with Jin following from behind. “Are you okay?” Jin asks as he catches up to him. “Do I look okay?” Yoongi cries as he covers his face. He walks away and goes into an empty room. “I can’t… I can’t breathe.” Yoongi cries to him, he takes deep breaths but its no use, he feels alone and cold. “This can’t be happening.” He says. Jin frowns and holds Yoongi’s hand. “It’s gonna be okay, it’ll be alright. Give him time, he’s going to remember soon. It’s only a matter of time until he’s back, okay?” Yoongi shakes his head and gasps for air in between sobs. “I called his parents, they’re coming tomorrow.” He gulps and Jin’s eyes go wide. “No way.” Jin says in disbelief. Yoongi explains how Hoseok wanted them to be here, and how they both got a little loud earlier. “He’ll learn the truth when he meets them.” Jin says. “So don’t worry.” Jin comforts Yoongi and helps him calm down from the anxiety attack he was having. “Let’s get a snack and go back to Hoseok’s room.” Jin says, but Yoongi shakes his head. “I’m not hungry.” He mumbles. “Don’t care, let's go.”
They all end up leaving one by one, until Yoongi and Hoseok are the last ones in the room. Yoongi is napping on the chair thats beside Hoseok’s bed. Hoseok stares at him and tries everything in him to remember this man. Now that everyone is gone and this Yoongi person is still here, Hoseok cries. He sniffles as he sheds a few tears. Who is he? Who is this man that claims to be the love of his life?
Who am I now?
Who are these people?
What happened?
Where is my family?
When Hoseok opened his eyes, he was alone. He had looked around the room, looked down at his body to see if anything bad had happened to him. He notices his leg that’s wrapped with gauze and bandage, he wonders what happened. With trembling hands, he pushed the button that would call a nurse to his room. Once they knew he was awake, the doctors made a physical and mental examination in which they were able to determine Hoseok had Post-Traumatic Amnesia. Hearing it, Hoseok couldn’t believe it, it had to be a mistake. Everything hit him all at once and now that he’s technically alone, he lets it all out. Scared and tired, he pulls the covers over him. He cries silently and tries to think and think, yet the only thing he can think of is this man that’s sleeping.
Hoseok sniffles and removes the sheets. He wipes his tears and clears his throat, hoping Yoongi will wake up. To his dismay, he doesn’t. So, he sits up and dangles his legs over the bed. Just then, Yoongi stirs awake and tiredly watches Hoseok. The younger male lets his foot reach the floor, but his injury causes pain and makes his stance weak, Hoseok yelps and falls onto Yoongi’s lap. Hoseok gasps and looks down at his hurt leg. “Are you okay?” Yoongi asks as he holds Hoseok. “What hurts?” He asks. Hoseok moves his gaze from his leg to Yoongi’s face that’s inches away. Hoseok studies Yoongi’s face from this lower angle. “M-My leg, I’ve been in bed too long.” Hoseok says shyly. “I’m sorry.” Yoongi says. “It’s not your fault.” Hoseok says. He wonders when he wrapped his arms around Yoongi. Hoseok’s cheeks turn red and he looks away from Yoongi’s eye contact. With one arm, Yoongi carries Hoseok back to his bed. “Thanks, sorry.” Hoseok says. “Is your arm okay, what happened to it?” Hoseok asks. “My elbow popped out in the accident, and I hurt it a little more when I carried you out of the car.” Yoongi drags the chair with his working arm, closer to Hoseok’s bed. “Oh my god.” Hoseok says in disbelief.
Yoongi sits back down with his knees up to his chest. “I’m sorry.” Hoseok says with a sniffle. Yoongi looks up and notices that Hoseok is crying, he jolts up and furrows his eyebrows. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, it’s okay. Everything is going to be alright, I love you baby.” Yoongi says softly and Hoseok doesn’t know what to say. “I’m just sorry you’re going through this and now you have to deal with me and my dumb brain.” Hoseok chuckles as a tear rolls down his cheek, he lifts his hand to brush it away, but Yoongi beats him to it when Hoseok feels his soft hand on his face. Hoseok looks at him and tries again to figure him out. “I hate seeing you cry.” Yoongi explains. Not knowing what to say, Hoseok nods his head and looks around the room. There’s a knock on the door and a nurse walks in. “Hi, visiting hours are over, but if you’d like to stay, we can make a bed for you.” She says, looking at Yoongi, who looks over at Hoseok. With nervous hands, Hoseok clears his throat and waits for Yoongi to answer the question. “Uh… no, that’s okay. I’ll go home.” Yoongi says in a small voice. “Can you stay?” Hoseok asks. “Please, I don’t want to be alone.” Hoseok says. Yoongi jumps on the opportunity and tells the nurse yes instead. A few moments later, she comes back with a small cushion that’s big enough for Yoongi to sleep on. With a thin blanket covering Yoongi’s upper half of his body, and a brick- like pillow beneath his head, he stares at the ceiling. “Goodnight.” Hoseok says tiredly. “Goodnight, I love you.” Yoongi says.
Yoongi listens to Hoseok’s breathing in the dead of night, that’s the only thing that stayed the same. He looks at the boring ceiling as tears stream down his face and into his ears. Yoongi can’t wait for the day Hoseok gives him that look, the look they shared between them for 6 years. With a heavy heart and dried tears, he tosses and turns all night.
➳
“Who’s that?” Yoongi asks his friend Namjoon. They’re at a small get together at a friend's small apartment. The music from the vinyl playing booms around the room, there’s chatter surrounding the small complex, it’s dim here, but Yoongi can see Hoseok clearly from right here. “Jungkook, things didn’t work out between them this summer, but they remained friends..” Namjoon says as he places his beer on the coffee table. Yoongi clears his throat and takes a long sip of his beer before turning to face Namjoon. He's heard of him before and what happened between them. “You like him, don’t you?” Namjoon asks, interrupting Yoongi. “Nah.” Yoongi says. “Oookay.” Namjoon laughs and Yoongi takes another sip of his beer. “Why? Did he ask or something?” Yoongi asks, curious. “No, but we can all tell.” Namjoon says as he looks over at Jungkook and Hoseok who are standing in a corner. Yoongi hums and sighs as he places the beer down by his feet. “Can he tell?” He gives in and looks at Namjoon for help. “Can he tell? Can you tell? If only you could see the way Hoseok looks at you. I’ve never seen him look at anyone like that, not even Jungkook.” Namjoon smiles and stands up. “Tell him, before someone else does.”
Yoongi gasps for air as he feels himself wake up. Standing above him, is a couple he has not seen in years . “Get up.” She says with an annoyed tone. Hoseok’s mom. Yoongi rubs his eyes with his palm and sits up. The room is full, by full he means Hoseok’s parents are here. “Mr. and Mrs. Jung, it’s nice to see you again.” Yoongi says as he stands up. The nurse comes in and cleans up the small bed she had made for Yoongi only a couple of hours ago. “It’s been a while.” Hoseok’s Father says. “I called Hoseok a couple of weeks ago, and I know it was you who told him not to answer.” She spits out with spite. “For years you have been in Hoseok’s ear, those days are over.” Mr. Jung says. There it is, and here they are. They haven’t changed one bit. A year into Hoseok and Yoongi’s relationship, Hoseok came out and introduced Yoongi to his parents and it did not go well. They cussed Hoseok out, called him and Yoongi slurs, and that was just one time. A year after that, Hoseok couldn’t take it anymore, and neither could his parents, so Hoseok cut off contact with them. The results of that were amazing, Hoseok thrived in an environment that he never even knew existed, a community that was waiting for him and a home that Yoongi was in. Yoongi had tried his best to get Hoseok’s parents to understand, but it never worked and they never listened. Their words hurt, Yoongi has only supported Hoseok. When Hoseok cut contact, Yoongi begged him not to, Yoongi tried to end things with Hoseok as well, insisting that parents are everything. Yoongi closes his eyes and remembers Hoseok’s words from that night “ You’re everything to me. You say I’ll regret you, but I won’t. I love you, I’ve never felt this way before Yoongi… I’m safe with you, I’m home with you. I need you, they don’t need me… hell, they don’t want me anyway, they hate us, hate who I am, they hate who I love , and that’s where I draw the line.”
“I only supported what Hoseok wanted.” Yoongi says back. He means no disrespect, especially to the ones who raised and gave birth to Hoseok. “We love each other.” Yoongi says, Mrs. Jung cringes and Mr. Jung clicks his tongue and looks away. “Liar!” He says. “Instead of asking how he’s doing or what happened, you accuse me of things, call me names. You haven’t changed a bit, Hoseok would be-.” Yoongi’s words are cut off when Jin and Namjoon step into the room. Jin gives Yoongi a look and Yoongi knows he should bugger off before he’ll say something he’ll regret. “Who are you two?” Mrs. Jung questions. “Hoseok’s friends.” Namjoon answers. Yoongi sighs to himself and stands beside Hoseok's bed. Hoseok stirs awake, he yawns to himself and finally looks around the room. “Mom!” Hoseok says with excitement. Mr. and Mrs. Jung rush over to him. It’s a nice scene, Yoongi admits, but Yoongi knows the truth. “Can we have some privacy?” She asks. “Seok, I’ll be outside.” Yoongi says, but Hoseok is too distracted by his parents. “You guys aged..” Hoseok says sadly. Yoongi walks out of the room with his friends and breaks down for another time. “Sorry, sorry.” Yoongi cries as he wipes his tears. “Thanks for taking care of Chewy.” Yoongi says softly. “Chewy is at Tae’s place, hope that's okay. He offered to take care of him.” Jin says, he rests his hand on Yoongi’s shoulder and squeezes it.
They all sit outside the room, Namjoon brings Yoongi food, but he doesnt eat it. How can he? An hour later Yoongi wakes up from his small nap. “They’re taking him.” Jin says. “Huh?” Yoongi says drowsily. “His parents signed the discharge papers, Hoseok’s going with them- get up!” Jin yells. Yoongi gets up from his seat and stumbles into the room, Hoseok’s parents are gripping the bag of clothes Hoseok wore the night of the accident, along with his cell phone and wallet. “Seok, where are you going?” Yoongi asks worriedly. “Home.” Hoseok says as he changes into sweatpants the hospital gave him, along with a hoodie. “Home is with me.” Yoongi says desperately. “He doesn’t know you, Yoongi. How do you expect him to go somewhere with a stranger? Hoseok, son, are you ready?” Mrs. Jung says with a smile. “Seok, wait, please.” Yoongi walks over to him and takes Hoseok’s hand. “Ma, dad, give me a minute.” Hoseok says to them before he looks back at Yoongi. “They’re right… I think I’d feel safer going with them.” Hoseok says softly. “They said they’ll help me get my memory back.” Hoseok says as he sits down on the bed, still holding Yoongi’s hand. “Please.” Yoongi says sadly. “They won’t. I know them.” Yoongi squeezes Hoseok’s hand and sits beside him. “Yoongi… no, you don’t. Not like I know them.” Hoseok lets go of Yoongi’s hand and presses his lips together. “I’ll go every day.” Yoongi says. “You don’t have to.” Hoseok says back. “I have to, you’re my fiancé.” Yoongi says. “Am I though?” Hoseok asks as he turns to face Yoongi, and he doesnt know how much it hurts Yoongi. “What if I never get my memories back, what happens then?” Hoseok questions. “That-That’s not gonna happen.” Yoongi shakes his head. “It could.” Hoseok says seriously.
“It won’t.” Yoongi says again. “I’ll go every day, okay?” Yoongi asks. “If you need anything, call me. I’ll be there for you at any time.” Yoongi says. Hoseok sighs and nods his head. “Thanks.” He says softly. “Just don’t come every day … my parents are gonna think it’s weird.” Hoseok says softly as he turns around to see his parents waiting outside the door. “They know you’re gay.” Yoongi says. “Oh… that’s right, I forgot.” Hoseok says with a chuckle. “I’ll go right now, make sure everything is alright.” Yoongi says worriedly, he’s never been one to be clingy, he’s never been this worried about Hoseok before, it scares him. Yoongi’s just scared, that's it. “Dude, no.” Hoseok sighs and gets up from the bed. “I’ll be fine, I’ll call you if that's what you want.” Hoseok says. Yoongi feels stupid being this clingy, he hopes Hoseok doesn't think he’s controlling of what Hoseok does or goes, because that's not the case, he’s being protective of Hoseok from his parents. Yoongi will never forget the nasty words they said to Hoseok, he’ll never forget the day his mom slapped Hoseok, ever. “See you soon.” Yoongi says. “Okay.” Hoseok says as he walks towards the door with his fiancé. Just like that, Hoseok leaves the hospital with his parents.
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
➳
When Yoongi goes through a rough patch, he throws himself into his work. Being a lawyer requires you to be there for your client, to go over the documents and files. And that’s exactly what Yoongi has been doing since the accident. He wakes up in the bedroom, Hoseok’s side of the bed is empty. Two weeks since he’s seen his fiancé, Yoongi has consistently gone over to Hoseok’s old home to visit him, but every single time they say Hoseok’s not home.. He hasn’t received a call from Hoseok either, so he figures Hoseok just needs some space and Yoongi finally understands that it was best for him to go with his parents, but still, Yoongi is hurting. He skips breakfast, walks Chewy to the dog park by himself, stops by the cafe and dodges questions that the owner asks about Hoseok. He walks back home, gets ready for work, drops Chewy off at Taehyung’s place and goes to work for the entire day. He holds meetings with his clients, goes to the courthouse, does everything he’s supposed to. By the time it’s lunchtime, he waits by the phone and waits for Hoseok to call him like he used to during his lunchtime. He skips lunch instead and goes straight into another case. By the time it’s night, Yoongi drives over to Taehyung’s house. “Let’s eat, come on.” Taehyung says. “Yeah, come sit.” Jimin says softly. They serve Yoongi ramen, but even that he can’t eat. “I just don’t have an appetite these days.” Yoongi explains. “I know, but just finish the ramen and the side dishes.” Jimin says as he eats his own. “Please.” Taehyung adds, so Yoongi does. After the meal, he feels a little better so he leaves with Chewy.
Yoongi is on his computer researching for a case when his phone rings. He looks down at his watch that reads 1:30 am. He searches for his phone through all of his messy papers, until he finally reads who’s calling him: Seokie. His heart thumps against his chest and he answers. “Hello?” He says. “Is this my love?” Hoseok says on the other side. Yoongi’s mouth goes dry and he stands up. “Baby, oh my god- did you get- you get your memory back? Oh my god.” Yoongi says out of breath as he searches for his shoes. “Oh. Yoongi . Hi, sorry… no. I was looking through the contacts on my phone and was wondering who the "My Love” contact was. I guess I have you like that.” Hoseok says with embarrassment. Yoongi stops and stands still, his heart breaks all over again, but even then he’s happy to hear Hoseok, even if it’s by mistake. “Oh… no, that's okay. Yeah, you have me like that on your phone.” Yoongi says softly as he sits back down. “Sorry, did I wake you?” Hoseok asks on the phone, there’s busy noise coming from the back. A car honks and Yoongi can hear Hoseok gasp. “Are you okay?” Yoongi asks with concern. “Yeah… actually, I went out for a walk but I’m kind of lost right now and I don’t know how to get back home. I don’t have my parents address.” Hoseok says. “I’m on my way, your location is linked with mine.” Yoongi says as he walks out of his office. “Are you sure? It’s okay, I can just ask for directions.” Hoseok says. “I’m on my way, babe. Stay on the line.” Yoongi says, so Hoseok does.
Yoongi gets in his car and his hands tremble as he places his hands on the steering wheel, he closes his eyes as he remembers that night. He turns on the car and makes his way to Hoseok. Yoongi looks down at the phone and realizes just how far away Hoseok is from his parents house, but how close he is from their home. “Almost there.” Yoongi says on the phone. “Okay, sorry.” Hoseok says on the other line. Yoongi pulls onto the street and parks the car when he sees Hoseok sitting down on the bench. He hangs up and gets out of the car and jogs over to Hoseok. “Babe.” He says. Hoseok stays staring at the phone. “Hoseok.” Yoongi corrects himself and finally Hoseok looks up. “Hey.” Hoseok smiles as he stands up. The late summer night is cold, so Yoongi takes off his jacket and places it over Hoseok’s shoulders. “Thanks.” Hoseok says shyly, they walk over to the car and Yoongi opens the door for him. Next, he gets inside the driver's seat and sighs. “Are you okay?” Yoongi asks. “Yeah. Yeah. Sorry for making you come all this way, you were probably sleeping.” Hoseok apologizes as he cuddles into the jacket. “Aw, no it's fine. I was up, I’m always here for you.” Yoongi says with a small smile. “Let's get you home.” Yoongi says softly as he starts to drive. The car ride is silent and soon they find themselves outside of Hoseok’s parents home. “We’re here.” Yoongi says as he places his hand on Hoseok's thigh, he fell asleep just a few minutes ago. “Hm?” Hoseok stirs awake and looks over at Yoongi and then down at his thigh. “Sorry.” Yoongi says as he pulls away, he forgets. “It’s okay, I’m sure its a habit by now.” Hoseok says with red cheeks. “Yeah, old habits die hard.” Yoongi adds. Hoseok takes off his seatbelt and looks around the car. “I’ll see you soon?” Yoongi asks. “Yeah, thanks again.” Hoseok says as he steps out of the car. He bows and walks over to the house. Yoongi feels empty as he watches the love of his life walk away. He starts the car, but before he could drive away, Hoseok comes running back. “Do you… want to come in?” Hoseok asks. Yoongi turns off the car and looks at the house. “I don’t think your parents would like that.” Yoongi says. “They love you, they told me. Come in, they’re sleeping anyway.”
Liars, Yoongi thinks as he steps out of the car. They walk into the house and it looks the same as it did six years ago. Hoseok grabs snacks from the pantry and a couple of beers. They make their way upstairs and into Hoseok’s room. Again, same as how Hoseok left it. A few random boxes, but the posters of his favorite movies stayed up, his books, his paintings and drawings are all here. They sit on the rug and Hoseok turns on the small television that sits on top of a small coffee table. With the volume low, and the room dark, Yoongi takes peace in knowing Hoseok is the same despite everything. “How has it been?” Yoongi asks. “Good.” Hoseok says as he takes a sip of his beer, he turns to look at Yoongi too. “They’re treating you well?” Yoongi asks, Hoseok only laughs. “Duh.” Hoseok eats some chips and sighs. “Stop worrying about me, I’m fine, really.” Hoseok says with a small smile. “I can’t.” Yoongi says softly. Hoseok sighs and turns off the television, leaving them in total darkness. “Listen to my voice.” Hoseok says softly. Yoongi feels like his eyes are closed because of how dark it is, the black curtains blocking out the light from outside doesn’t help either. “I’m fine.” Hoseok says softly. “Tell me about me.” Hoseok says and suddenly the lamp turns on and Yoongi can see Hoseok standing by the lamp. Yoongi goes on to tell Hoseok all about… well, him. He talks about who his friends are, what he likes, what his profession is, everything. “And us?” Hoseok asks. “How long were we together for?” Hoseok asks as he cuddles into the jacket, he zips up the jacket and sips his beer. “We’ve been together for 6 years, 7 this November.” Yoongi says. “Ah..” Hoseok nods his head. “Jungkook, he… has a boyfriend?” Hoseok asks, it perks Yoongi’s ears as he takes a long swig of beer. “Yeah, they’re pretty serious.” Yoongi lies, Hoseok nods his head and he looks a little disappointed. “Why?” Yoongi asks. “Just wondering, you’re in a relationship too?” Hoseok asks. “Oop- sorry, I forgot, sorry, sorry.” Hoseok says.
Yoongi laughs and shakes his head. “Yes, I’m in a relationship. We’re in love, and we’re getting married.” Yoongi sips on his beer and smiles. Hoseok studies Yoongi’s face and nods his head. “That’s nice.” Hoseok says softly. “It is.” Yoongi says back. “I’m sorry.” Hoseok says. “I’m not.” Yoongi says as he looks into Hoseok’s eyes. “I love you.” Yoongi says sadly. Hoseok sighs and looks down at his snacks. “Tell me you love me, even if it's a lie.” Yoongi says as his eyes start to tear up. “Please.” He says in a whisper. Hoseok shakes his head and finishes his beer. “No.” He says. Yoongi clears his throat and laughs. “Yoongi.” Hoseok says clearly. Yoongi stops laughing and wipes his tears away. “Yeah? Sorry.” Yoongi says. “I want you to know that if I can’t get my memory back by the holidays, I’m starting my life over.” Hoseok says. “And if thats the case, we won’t be together or be getting married.” Hoseok bites his lip and he continues talking but Yoongi can’t hear him at all. All Yoongi can think about is how much he loves Hoseok, he pictures them getting married soon, he remembers every single detail of their relationship. “Okay?” Hoseok asks. “We’re getting married.” Yoongi says. “How can you be so sure?” Hoseok asks. “Even if you don’t get your memory back, you’ll fall in love with me. I made you fall in love with me once, I could do it again.” Yoongi says with confidence. Hoseok, awed, laughs and shakes his head. “Maybe.” Hoseok smiles. “I’m not worried.” Yoongi responds. “Whatever the case is, I want us to be friends if that doesn’t end up happening.” Hoseok says. “Okay.” Yoongi promises, though it breaks his heart. He’d rather not see Hoseok at all than to see him with someone else. Hoseok turns off the lamp and then turns on the television again. They watch the movie in silence, until Hoseok gets tired of sitting on the floor so he lays down in bed. “Want to lay down?” Hoseok asks. “Are you sure?” Yoongi asks. “Yeah.” Hoseok says. Yoongi lays down beside Hoseok and he tries everything in him not to wrap his arms around Hoseok’s waist. They watch the movie until they end up falling asleep in bed.
“Can I talk to you?” Yoongi asks Hoseok as soon as he approaches Jungkook and him. The party is loud and Namjoon is eyeing them from the couch before he gets distracted by Jin. “I’ll be back.” Hoseok says to Jungkook with a polite smile. Yoongi and Hoseok walk over to the kitchen alone together. “What’s up, are you okay?” Hoseok asks. “Yeah, are you? Looked like you needed help, he kind of put you in a corner.” Yoongi says as he takes a couple of chips. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” Hoseok says as he pours himself another alcoholic drink. “I feel like you’re kind of ignoring me.” Yoongi says. “I’m not, I’m just kind of busy with Jungkook right now.” Hoseok says. “Besides, aren’t you busy with Jin these days?” Hoseok asks. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Yoongi asks. “Means that someone told me you guys were kissing at the fountain.” Hoseok says angrily. “What?” Yoongi asks, bewildered. “I’m going home with Jungkook tonight, so I won’t be needing a ride home.” Hoseok says as he starts to walk away. Yoongi takes Hoseok’s hand and stops him from walking away. “Jin and I weren’t kissing anywhere at any time.” Yoongi says. “Don’t go with Jungkook, I’ll take you home.” Hoseok turns around and looks at Yoongi. “I get that you’re trying to look out for me, but I can take care of myself just fine.” Hoseok says and Yoongi sighs and walks after him. “See, you’re mad at me.” Yoongi says. “I’m not mad.” Hoseok says as he turns around. “Then what is it?” Yoongi questions. “Nothing.”
The following morning Yoongi wakes up around 5 in the morning, it’s still dark out, but the television is on. He looks over at Hoseok who is sleeping soundly right beside him. Yoongi gets up from the bed, he turns off the television and hovers over the bed. He leans down and kisses Hoseok’s forehead before leaving the house. He drives away with a broken heart as he remembers their talk from last night. How is everything supposed to be okay if now he has a time limit? Yoongi gets home around six in the morning, he walks Chewy to the dog park, stops by the cafe and by the time he gets home it’s 8:30 am. He only wishes Hoseok would join him. Yoongi calls Hoseok later that night, but to his defeat there’s no response.
➳
“Let’s go outside and talk, I can barely hear you.” Yoongi says. Hoseok looks over at Jungkook who is already talking to another guy in the same corner. The two of them walk out of the apartment and stand outside. “Did you or did you not kiss Jin?” Hoseok asks as he sets down his drink. “No! Why would I kiss him?” Yoongi looks confused and starts to laugh. “Someone told me.” Hoseok says as he kicks the pavement. “Well, they’re wrong.” Yoongi responds. “Okay, okay I believe you.” Hoseok says, a small smile creeping up on him, Yoongi chuckles and looks around shyly. Yoongi nods his head and hums yes. “Don’t go with him.” Yoongi says after. “He doesn’t deserve you, he’ll leave you hanging again and I don’t want you to get hurt.” Yoongi takes a step closer and Hoseok looks into his eyes. “I won’t.” Hoseok whispers, they’re only an inch apart, Yoongi reaches down and holds Hoseok’s hand by the pinky. “I like you, Seok.” Hoseok’s breath hitches and he wraps his arms around Yoongi. He swiftly places his lips onto Yoongi’s and they slowly mold into one. The autumn breeze passes right through them and Yoongi’s not sure if it’s Hoseok who gave him goosebumps or if it’s the wind. They pull apart for air, only for them to quickly go back to kissing. “I-.” Hoseok pulls back, he pants and hugs Yoongi. “I like you too.”
“You don’t think Jungkook would… you know?” Yoongi asks his friends. They’re sitting around the small table inside of Namjoon’s apartment. “Nah.” Namjoon says. “No way, he wouldn’t.” Jin chirps in. “If he did, we’d never talk to him again, same for Hoseok.” Jimin says. “Yeah, nah, he would never do that.” Taehyung says. It’s a relief knowing his friends have his back despite the circumstances. “Have you talked to him since he left the hospital?” Jin asks. “Yeah, we hung out one night… like two weeks ago. He won’t return my calls, I’m a little worried honestly.” Yoongi says as he sips on his coffee. He goes into detail about what happened that night he hung out with his fiancé, and they all encouraged him to go to his parents house. “Tell us how it goes!” Jin says as he pushes him out the door. Yoongi steps out and looks at the time, it’s early on a Saturday morning and he realizes his friends are right, he should go see him.
Yoongi gets out of his car and knocks on the door, and unfortunately for him, Mrs. Jung opens the door. “He’s not here.” She says immediately. “I just want to see him.” Yoongi says softly. “He doesn’t want to see you.” She says. “Come on, don’t you get tired of lying?” He asks and she laughs in his face. “I don’t.” She smirks. “Ma, who is it?” Yoongi hears his fiancés voice in the back and Yoongi moves around to see him. She sighs and moves out of the way. “Yoongi.” Hoseok says with a small smile. Hoseok’s dressed in baggy ripped jeans and a denim jacket to match. “Seok.” Yoongi smiles and watches as Hoseok walks down the stairs and walks towards him. “What’re you doing here?” Hoseok asks. “Just wanted to come see you, you haven’t returned my calls.” Yoongi says awkwardly. “Oh, oh yeah I’m sorry.” Hoseok shakes his head and looks down at his feet. “There’s a lot happening.” He says. “And I’m busy these days.” Hoseok says softly. “Ah, really?” Yoongi asks. “Sorry, are you going out?” He asks. “Oh, yeah, yes. Just wanted to go shopping for some new clothes.” He chuckles. “I’ll take you.” Yoongi offers. “Sure.” Hoseok says as he steps out of the house.
They spend the morning at the mall hanging out, eating snacks and shopping. Yoongi buys every little thing Hoseok wants, from clothes to shoes and bags. Hoseok feels a little shy letting Yoongi buy things for him, especially since he has his own money. “Are you sure?” Hoseok asks as he puts the clothes on the hanger. “Yes, yes. I’m your man.” Yoongi says confidently and Hoseok laughs. “What’s funny?” Yoongi asks and Hoseok smiles as he shakes his head. “My man.” Hoseok repeats. “Sorry.” Yoongi says as he walks around carrying Hoseok’s shopping bags. “No, it’s okay.” Hoseok says. “I’m ready to go, I’m super hungry… should we go eat?” Hoseok asks as he turns around to look at Yoongi. So they leave the mall together and Yoongi takes them to their favorite restaurant. “Huh.” Hoseok says as soon as the food is served. “I feel like I’ve been here before.” Hoseok mumbles. “You have, we have.” Yoongi says with a smile. Hoseok smiles and eats his favorite food that Yoongi ordered for him. After the meal, Yoongi takes Hoseok on an adventure. He takes them to the café they always go to. Yoongi takes him to every special spot they have, and it saddens Yoongi each time Hoseok has no recollection.
“Woah.” Hoseok says in awe as they walk into his art studio. “This is mine?” He asks in a small voice. “All yours. You spend most of your time here, painting, drawing, singing.” Yoongi chuckles and shrugs. Hoseok takes his own tour around the studio and he’s amazed by everything he’s ever painted. “I paint you a lot.” Hoseok says as he looks at portraits of Yoongi he painted. “You call me your muse .” Yoongi says as he looks at them. Hoseok hums and nods his head. “I can see that.” He says with a small smile. “What about… home?” Hoseok asks. “That’s our next spot.” Yoongi says. They leave the studio as the sun goes down, Yoongi drives, and drives carefully, until they reach their home. “We have an apartment here?” Hoseok asks in awe as he looks up at the tall, tall building, as they step out of the car. “Something like that.” Yoongi says. They go into the elevator and make their way all the way up to their penthouse. “No way.” Hoseok says. “This is home.” Yoongi says as he opens the door. Hoseok walks in and looks around, he is in awe. Never in his life did he think he would live somewhere as nice as this. A dog comes running up to them and Hoseok gasps as he gets on his knees. Chewy licks Hoseok’s face and whines as he jumps around, he licks Hoseok’s hands and arms and face. Yoongi smiles and Hoseok laughs and laughs. “We have a dog?!” Hoseok squeaks out. “Yeah, that’s Chewy.” Yoongi closes the door and Hoseok gets up.
“I love it here.” Hoseok says as he walks around. He snoops through the kitchen, through the living room, through Yoongi’s office, everywhere. The sun is gone and the skyline of the buildings look like stars from the large panel windows in the living room. “Welcome home.” Yoongi says with a small smile. “Where’s the bedroom?” Hoseok asks. Yoongi walks him over to the bedroom and Hoseok smiles as he lays down on the bed. “You live in a castle.” Hoseok says. “You’re a fancy lawyer, right?” Hoseok asks. “Yeah, how’d you know?” Yoongi asks. “I saw pictures in your office.” Hoseok stretches and yawns before he stands up and looks through the closet. “Yours is on the right and my clothes are on the left. Although, you do steal most of my hoodies.” Yoongi says softly. For fun, Hoseok grabs a pair of pajamas and changes into them in the bathroom. Yoongi does the same and he feels like everything’s back to normal, it feels like before and his heart breaks.
They sit on the bed for hours, looking through photo albums, through Hoseok’s personal items. “This box has all of your journals.” Yoongi says as he passes him the box. “Your recent one is on your side of the night table.” Yoongi says. “Oh, have you read them?” Hoseok asks as he looks inside the cardboard box. “No, they’re yours, they’re private.” Yoongi says softly as he takes a seat beside Hoseok. He watches from the side, watches how Hoseok reads his notes, how his jawline is so sharp, his nose is sharp and defined. Everything about Hoseok is mesmerizing. “Is it okay if I take these back home?” Hoseok asks as he closes his journal. Chewy climbs into Hoseok’s lap and cuddles into his feet. Yoongi smiles and pets the dog until he looks at hoseok. “He misses you… yeah, take them.” Yoongi says. The sun starts to set down early now that fall is approaching, and the sun hits Hoseok, highlighting all of his features. “You told me Jungkook was in a relationship, but I talked to him last night and he’s not in one?” Hoseok questions as he pets the golden retriever. Yoongi looks at hoseok and then down at his lap, he picks the corner of his sock and sighs. “I know.” He says in response. “Why’d you lie?” Hoseok chuckles nervously. “You’ve been talking to him and not me?” Yoongi asks and Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Don’t answer a question with another question, why did you say that?” He asks as Chewy groans and goes from Hoseok to Yoongi. “I was being sarcastic, why does it matter if he’s in a relationship or not?” Yoongi says. Where is this going? “It doesn’t. I was just curious.” Hoseok responds back. “It’s been two months since you’ve been out of the hospital and I’ve only seen you twice, Seok.” Yoongi complains.
“I’ve been busy, like I said. Sometimes I don’t know what to say to you, so this is me trying.” Hoseok clears his throat. “With Jungkook I’m sure.” Yoongi mumbles under his breath. One thing that keeps Yoongi going is the fact that Hoseok hasn’t taken off his engagement ring. There’s hope in Yoongi’s soul, there’s a light inside of him that will keep their love burning and brewing. “You get jealous a lot.” Hoseok observes. “I don’t like that.” Hoseok explains and Yoongi feels absolutely guilty. “I can’t help it.” Yoongi says with embarrassment. “I love you.” Yoongi says as he reaches over to hold Hoseok’s hand. Gentle as ever, soft as ever, and precious with the engagement ring sitting beautifully on his finger. Hoseok looks down at their hands and something about Yoongi’s hand feels familiar, weird. Hoseok shyly lets go and clears his throat. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Yoongi says. “No, I know. You’re just… very intimidating.” Hoseok chuckles and shrugs. Yoongi nods his head and apologizes a few times. “No, no, don't apologize.” Hoseok says as he sets the journal beside him. He sits with his legs crossed on the bed, in front of Yoongi. “I’m being mean, I’m sorry. It’s just.. it’s been a long day and my head hurts. It’s a lot, a lot of information and places.” Hoseok explains as he looks around the room. “I understand.” Yoongi says softly.
“Can I try something?” Hoseok asks softly, his cheeks turn pink. “Like what?” Yoongi asks. Hoseok clears his throat and places his hand on Yoongi’s knee as he leans forward. Hoseok looks down at Yoongi’s lips as they’re only a few inches away. Their breaths hitch. His gaze turns to Yoongi’s eyes before they close the gap between them. Hoseok leans in and places a soft, gentle kiss against Yoongi’s. Hoseok feels familiar in this position, like he’s kissed Yoongi before, multiple times. They tingle as they kiss, and Yoongi smells like home. The older male melts into the kiss and immediately places his hand gently on Hoseok’s waist. Yoongi kisses back and feels Hoseok relax when he sits in his lap. Hoseok, with his arms wrapped around Yoongi’s neck, pulls back with a pant. Yoongi catches his breath and Hoseok meets his eyes. “Take me home.” Hoseok says as he gets off of Yoongi. He walks over to the closet and changes back into his regular clothes. Yoongi sits on the bed and watches as Hoseok panics. He watches him disappear into the closet, and so Yoongi takes this opportunity to go get the car keys. He feels guilty, maybe he shouldn’t have kissed Hoseok like that, or kissed at all.
The car ride is silent and Yoongi’s sure he’s messed everything up, it’s over. It’s fucking over. They park outside of Hoseok’s home and Yoongi turns to face him. “I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have kissed. I know it made you uncomfortable and I’m sorry.” Yoongi takes Hoseok’s hand and squeezes it. Hoseok frowns and places his hand on Yoongi’s cheek before he leans in and pecks Yoongi’s lips, catching him off guard and by total surprise. “I liked it.” He whispers shyly. “I’m sorry.” Hoseok pulls away and shakes his head. “I’m not used to kissing guys.” Hoseok laughs and shrugs. “In my head, I’ve only kissed one guy. And even then I wasn’t fully out . It’s weird, I’m trying not to be so hard on myself. I was just scared, I’m sorry. I liked it. You taste familiar.” Hoseok smiles shyly as he looks down at the small box of journals by his feet. Yoongi leans over and catches Hoseok’s lips with a small kiss. “I love you.” Yoongi whispers against his lips. Hoseok chuckles and kisses back softly, all the while he tries to ignore the goosebumps he’s getting.. “I have to go now, it’s late.” Hoseok says shyly. “When can I see you?” Yoongi asks. “Tomorrow? You can hang out with me and Jungkook.” Hoseok says in a soft voice. “Invite… What are their names? Namjoon? Becky?” He asks as he tries to remember. “Okay, I’ll invite them. Can I pick you up?” Yoongi asks. “Sure.” He says as he steps out of the car with the box of journals. “Bye.” Yoongi says. “Goodnight.” Hoseok smiles as he walks towards his home.
➳
The following evening, Yoongi is standing outside Hoseok’s house with the biggest smile on his face when he sees him open the door. “Come in, I can’t find my other shoe!” Hoseok says with a laugh. Mrs. Jung watches as Yoongi walks in. “When will you leave him alone?” She asks as she walks over to him. “He doesn’t want you.” She says with a laugh. “Please, just stop.” Yoongi says. “Besides, it’s not you he wants. He wants that other guy who came by last night after you dropped him off.” She laughs and shrugs as she walks away. “Found it!” Yoongi hears Hoseok yell from the other room. Yoongi stands in the middle of the house in confusion. Who came over last night? Who is she talking about? “Did you invite your friends?” Hoseok asks as they make their way to a small bar where they’ll meet the rest of the gang. “Yoongi?” Hoseok asks. “Huh? Oh, yeah.” Yoongi drives and tries to distract himself from the many questions he has. When they arrive, Yoongi feels like he’s in outer space. Namjoon, Jin, Taehyung, Becky and Jimin all watch how Hoseok interacts with Jungkook. They’re extremely touchy in this booth. It’s a rainy night and the bar is extremely full now as the night grows longer. A few drinks and a couple games in, Yoongi feels light. Jungkook gets up to use the restroom and Yoongi follows suit. “You need to stay away from him.” Yoongi says as they enter the restroom. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jungkook says as he washes his hands. “I’m warning you.” Yoongi says. “Look, it’s up to him.” Jungkook says with a shrug as he leaves the restroom. They sit back down at the booth and Yoongi feels like throwing up.
Jungkook was a friend, a good friend and this just… sours everything. He can’t look at him anymore. Sometime later, Yoongi and Namjoon go to the bar to get a drink, when he sees Hoseok and Jungkook by a corner. They’re chatting, it seems. “I’m having deja vu.” Yoongi groans as he looks away. Namjoon looks over and immediately grabs Yoongi’s arm. “Jungkook is kissing him.” Namjoon says. Yoongi looks and immediately rushes over to them. He grabs Jungkook by the neck and pulls him back. A fight breaks out and all of his friends stand up from the booth and run over. Jungkook punches Yoongi on the mouth and Yoongi swings back, where he hits Jungkook on the eye. Hoseok was yelling and people were too when the fight broke loose. Namjoon pulls Jungkook back, while Jin holds Yoongi back. Becky takes Hoseok outside, where it finally has stopped raining. “Sorry.” Yoongi says to the owner as they all get kicked out. Hoseok is crying on the side of the street with Becky. “Seok!” Yoongi rushes over to Hoseok, who takes a step back. “Don’t.” Hoseok says. “Seok, I’m sorry. He-He was kissing you.” He says. Hoseok shakes his head and pushes Yoongi. “And?” He asks. “I can kiss whoever I want! I’m not with you, I don’t know you!” Hoseok cries and starts to walk away. Yoongi races after him and takes his hand. “You do! You know me, please remember.” Yoongi cries as his lip bleeds.
“You-You know what my journals say about you?” Hoseok cries. “They say you’re jealous, that for six years I wanted to marry you, and you didn’t. They say you get easily upset. They-They say you’re possessive!” Hoseok says. “Why do you want to marry me now ? Because you know that I can be with whoever I want and that scares you. I don’t know you now, so I don’t have to marry you. I don’t have to be with you. I don’t have to see you anymore so leave me the fuck alone . I never want to see you again. You scare me.” Hoseok cries and Becky catches up to him. “Yoongi… go home, I got him.” Yoongi watches in defeat as the love of his life walks away. With Jin beside him, he breaks down.
➳
“The journals also say that he’s the love of my life, my soulmate, my twin flame.” Hoseok says to Becky and Namjoon a few weeks later. It’s October now and it’s been a month since he’s seen Yoongi and Jungkook. “Talk to him.” Becky encourages. “He’s not doing well. He drinks a lot, buries himself with work, and does not eat well.” Becky sighs as she sits down on the floor of Hoseok’s bedroom. “He scares me.” Hoseok says to both of them. “That night was a mistake. I asked Jungkook to kiss me because I wanted to see if I felt anything.” He explains. Namjoon sips his juice and looks at him. “Did you?” He asks. “No. Not like when I kissed Yoongi.” Hoseok sighs and pulls out his phone. “He won’t stop calling me. He’ll show up at the house and I'll just tell my parents to tell him I’m not here.” Hoseok shrugs and shakes his head as he shows them the missed calls and messages. “I read our old texts… I don’t doubt that I loved him. I mean, all of our texts are really sweet and sometimes lewd.” Hoseok laughs and Namjoon groans, Becky laughs however. “See, look.” Hoseok shows them the ringing phone, it’s Yoongi calling again. “Answer.” Namjoon says. “And say what?” He asks. “Just answer.” Becky says. So he does. “Hello?” Hoseok answers.
“S-Seok. I didn’t think you’d answer.” Yoongi says out of breath.
“Me either.” Hoseok responds.
“I’m sorry.” Yoongi says softly.
Hoseok sighs and looks at his friends and shakes his head. “I miss you.” Yoongi says.
“Stop calling me, please.” Hoseok says.
“I’m sorry, I love you.”
“Goodbye.”
Namjoon face-palms and Becky sighs. “It’s what he wants, Joon. We support whatever you want.” Becky says to Hoseok. They’ve always been close, Becky and Hoseok. Ever since they met, they clicked instantly and Hoseok smiled. His journals are right, Becky will always be his number one supporter.
While on a walk that same night, Yoongi appears outside of his house with flowers in his hands. Hoseok stands in front of him as he looks at him. Yoongi looks absolutely terrible. Hoseok clears his throat and cuddles into his coat. “Can we talk?” Yoongi asks. “Sure.” Hoseok says. They sit inside Yoongi’s car with the heater on and with Hoseok holding the bouquet of flowers. “I’m sorry.” Yoongi starts. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way, I’m sorry I scared you. We don’t… have to see each other after this either. I’m just really sorry.” He says with chapped lips. “I’m sorry for the things I said, too.” Hoseok says as he turns to look at him. “I’ve been really mean to you since I woke up.” He places the flowers in the seat behind him and stuffs his hands into his coat pockets. “Don’t blame Jungkook. I asked him to kiss me, I wanted to know if it was the same as kissing you.” Yoongi looks away with a clenched jaw and nods his head. “Did you like it?” He asks. “No.” Hoseok says softly. “I’m sorry, Yoongi. I shouldn’t have asked him to do that.” Yoongi shakes his head and smiles softly when he realizes Hoseok still hasn’t taken off his engagement ring. “Let's forget about that night.” Yoongi says. “Please.” Hoseok laughs and so does Yoongi.
“Will you be my boyfriend?” Yoongi asks. Hoseok laughs and shakes his head. “I’m not… looking for anything right now, I’m sorry.” He says softly. Yoongi nods his head and smiles. “It’s okay. We’ll be together soon.” He smirks. “You’re so confident.” Hoseok says. “I made you fall in love with me once, I can do it again.” Hoseok smiles and shakes his head. “Let’s go somewhere?” Yoongi asks. “Okay.” The two of them end up at the beach, it’s freezing cold and dark. Hoseok sits on the sand with Yoongi beside him and a small blanket that covers their legs. Hoseok looks out into the ocean and listens as the waves crash against the shore. The salt air runs through his hair and bones, with eyes closed, he takes a deep breath. “And if I don’t remember?” Hoseok asks. “And if I don’t fall in love with you?” He asks. “What then? Will you be okay?” Hoseok looks at Yoongi’s side profile. “Is being friends enough for you?” Hoseok asks softly. And it’s a tough question for Yoongi to answer. “It won’t happen.” Yoongi says. “But… Let’s say it does, I would leave you alone. I keep telling myself that being friends with you would be just as fine, but it can’t be. I won’t be. If I see you with someone else, I’ll literally die. I can’t even picture it in my mind either, I just… I would let you live your life without me in it. I’d move away or something.” Yoongi chuckles and it’s quiet. “That bad?” Hoseok asks in disbelief. “That bad.” Yoongi says in a whisper. Hoseok clears his throat and looks down at the shared blanket. It’s a lot to take in, but Hoseok understands to an extent. “Can you do me a favor?” Hoseok asks. “Anything.” Yoongi says as he locks eyes with him in the dark. “Apologize to Jungkook.” He says. Yoongi laughs and shakes his head. “No.” He says. Hoseok sighs. “Why? Just apologize and move on.” Hoseok says. “He kissed you, Seok. He’s been my friend for years and he kissed my man, how the hell am I supposed to forgive or apologize to him for—.” Hoseok reaches his hand underneath the blanket and interlocks his hand with Yoongi’s. “Please.” Hoseok whispers. Yoongi shuts up and nods his head. “Okay.” He whispers back.
The drive back home is nice and sandy by their feet. Yoongi drives happily with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other is interlaced with Hoseok’s. Still. “Let’s do a beach day soon. I want the sun on my face.” Hoseok says with a smile. “I think I love the beach.” Hoseok adds. “You do.” Yoongi says. “We’ll invite everyone.” Yoongi says as he pulls up to Hoseok’s home. “Thank you for tonight.” Yoongi says and he presses his lips onto Hoseok’s hand. Hoseok chuckles and lets go. “Thank you for coming here and for apologizing. I really appreciate it.” Hoseok says as he takes the bouquet of flowers with him. “I love you.” Yoongi says as Hoseok closes the door and disappears into his home.
➳
A week later Yoongi sits across the table, on the other side sits Jungkook. “I’m really sorry, Yoongi.” Jungkook says as he starts to tear up. “I only did what he asked, and I let old feelings get the best of me.” Jungkook looks down at the table and wipes his tears. As much as Yoongi is upset, he looks at Jungkook like a little brother. Yoongi reaches over and takes Jungkook’s hand. “It’s what he asked, I don’t want to bring this topic up anymore. I’m sorry too, I’m sorry for hurting you.” Yoongi says and Jungkook looks at him in disbelief. “Me too, me too. I’m sorry.” Jungkook gets up from his chair and pulls Yoongi up for a hug. “I love you, bro.” Jungkook cries and Yoongi smiles as he rubs Jungkook’s back. “I love you too, now let’s order some food and catch up.” Yoongi says as they pull apart. The two friends eat and talk for about an hour before Yoongi has to leave. “I have to pick up Seok at the studio. But I’ll see you tomorrow for beach day?” Yoongi asks as he stands up. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Hoseok was right to have Yoongi meet with Jungkook. His chest feels lighter and he’s not thinking about that night at the bar. Yoongi walks into the studio and smiles when he sees Hoseok dancing with his earphones on, while chewing on string cheese. Yoongi laughs and waves towards him. Hoseok laughs and takes Yoongi’s hand in his as he takes off one earbud and places it in Yoongi ear. They hold hands and dance around the studio together. “I love this song!” Hoseok squeals with a laugh. This is what Yoongi missed, Hoseok’s laughter, his excitement. Yoongi laughs and Hoseok does too. “I love you.” Yoongi says happily. Hoseok smiles and takes off the earbuds, he puts them back in the case and drags Yoongi over to his painting. “Me.” Yoongi says. “Yeah. I… couldn’t get you out of my mind, so I painted you.” Hoseok smiles and squeezes Yoongi’s hand. “I love it.” Yoongi smiles and turns to face him, but Hoseok was already looking at him. “Ready?” Yoongi asks. “Yeah, let me get my stuff.” Hoseok says as he grabs his backpack.
➳
“Yes, but what do you want?”
Hoseok sits comfortably on a brown leather couch in a small studio in Seoul. “I don’t know.” He says as he rubs his eyes. “Part of me wants to remember, and another part of me wants to move on. Start over.” His therapist sits across from him in a dark green suede chair with an iPad and stylus. “Why?” She asks. “There’s a lot of pressure, I think.” Hoseok rests his back against the couch and takes off his shoes. “I feel pressured to remember, to smile. To be okay with this man, who is my supposed fiancé, who loves me. I mean, I don’t know him, and yet everyone expects me to spend time with him, live with him.” Hoseok chuckles and rolls his eyes. “It’s weird, none of my friends want me to stay at my parents house. I don’t know what that’s about.” Hoseok groans and covers his face in defeat. “I don’t mind Yoongi, I really don’t.” Hoseok says. “He’s cute. Right?” Hoseok asks the therapist. “I haven’t met him.” She says. “Right, I forget that you’re my therapist and not my friend sometimes.” Hoseok laughs and so does she. “Why don’t you mind him? You just said you don’t want to be near him.” She says. Hoseok moves his hands away from his face and lets them rest on his stomach. “He makes me feel unbelievably safe.” Hoseok admits. “My body literally relaxes when he touches me. When he speaks, I can listen forever.” Hoseok says in a whisper. “He knows me more than I do myself.” Hoseok says sadly. “And that’s where my let’s move on thought comes from. I want to learn more about myself. Who am I? What did I do in my free time, what’s my favorite meal? Was there somebody before Yoongi?” Hoseok starts to tear up. “Dr. Kimmy, those brain exercises aren’t working. I can’t remember anything .”
His therapist sits up and locks her iPad. “Trust your instinct.” She says. “You relax around him, and he takes care of you. You have two options.” She says as she sets the iPad on the coffee table. “You try to recover your life. Or, you tell Yoongi that you’re done trying. That you’re going to move on.” She says. Hoseok nods his head in agreement. “I told him I’d move on by the holidays. He says we’ll fall in love by then, it’s sweet but I’m just confused.” He says with a small laugh. “Here’s some homework for you Hoseok. Spend an entire day by yourself, disconnect from technology and from friends and family. Take a day, and meet someone new. Someone who doesn’t know absolutely everything about you. Think you can do that?” Hoseok takes a small lollipop from the bowl that sits on the coffee table and pops it into his mouth. “Yes.” He says. “Okay, this concludes our session, and keep working on those memory cards and puzzles I gave you.” She says as she stands up. Hoseok shakes her hand with a smile and leaves.
Hoseok turns off his phone, stuffs it in his pants pocket and goes about his day.
It’s a cold autumn day, the leaves are crisp and the air is thin. Hoseok goes to a mall he finds along the way, he stops to get a coffee and proceeds to look around. “Looking for anything in particular?” A girl asks. “Oh, no thank you. I’m just looking.” Hoseok smiles and she bows before leaving. “Oh this looks cute.” He says to himself as he puts his coffee on the floor. He picks up the cute jacket and tries it on in front of the mirror. He smiles and turns to look at himself. “It looks great on you.” A voice says. Hoseok jumps, startled by a voice beside him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He says with a laugh. Hoseok laughs along as he turns to face them. “It’s okay.” Hoseok says as he takes off the jacket. “I’m Changkyun, you are?” He asks. Hoseok puts the jacket back in its place and smiles at Changkyun. “Hoseok, nice to meet you.” He says. “It’s nice to meet you too.” Hoseok takes a step closer to shake his hand, but he trips over his coffee cup and ends up falling onto Changkyun. The cup of coffee spills all over Changkyun’s white Nikes. “Oh my god.” Hoseok gets off of him and covers his mouth. “I’m so sorry.” He squeaks and covers his face. “I’ll buy you new shoes right now.” Hoseok says in embarrassment. The other male laughs and looks down at his shoes. “They needed color, it’s alright.” He smiles. Hoseok shakes his head. “You’re too nice, no come on. I’ll buy you a new pair, please.” Hoseok picks up the empty cup and grips it. “It’s fine really.” He says with a laugh. “Nope, we’re going to the shoe store right now.”
The two males spend the rest of the day in the mall together. It’s absolutely refreshing to meet someone who doesn’t know him. It’s even better because they get along extremely well. Changkyun is a marketing director in Seoul, he lives in Seoul, has a cat, and he hates coffee. “Wait, what?” Changkyun asks in disbelief as they start to walk towards the exit. “Yep.” Hoseok nods his head. “You’re the artist.” Changkyun covers his mouth and laughs. “I was at your showcase a few months ago. I love your art.” He says with a deep bow. Hoseok blushes and shakes his head and motions for him to stop. “Thank you.” He says softly with a smile. “I have one of your paintings in my house, it cost a fortune, but it’s beautiful.” He says. “Ah, really? Which one is it?” Hoseok asks. “It’s called The Meadow .” He says. Hoseok doesn’t remember that painting, so he plays it off. “Ah, that one.” He says as they finally exit the mall together. “It was really nice to meet you, sorry again.” Hoseok says as he glances at the new Nikes Changkyun is wearing. “Sorry for scaring you.” He says back. “Oh, I get scared easily, it’s fine.” Hoseok laughs.
“Hey, uh, can I have your number? Or actually, do you want to go to dinner with me?” He asks. Hoseok looks around and remembers the homework his therapist gave him. “Sure, when?” Hoseok smiles. “Right now.” He says. “Right now?” Hoseok asks. “Sorry, yeah you’re right it’s too early.” He laughs and so does Hoseok. “No, no. I mean, yes.” Hoseok laughs. “I don’t have anything to do.” He says. “Okay, let’s go. Did you drive here?” Changkyun asks. “I walked here, actually I’m kind of lost. I know how to go to my therapist's office from here, but I don’t know my way home.” Hoseok admits shyly. “Oh. Don’t worry, you got me.” Changkyun says with a small smile. “I’ll take you home tonight.” He says. “You’re not some serial killer, right?” Hoseok jokes and Changkyun laughs. “I'm not, swear.” He jokes along and Hoseok feels safe. He shouldn’t because Changkyun is a total stranger, but he does. He’s also really cute, skinny, and taller than him. And his car is a porsche? Hoseok’s sold.
The pair sit on a second story building that overlooks the beach. The sunset is breathtaking, the color palettes of the ocean are mesmerizing as the blue sky ombres into a pink, peachy color. Hoseok makes a note in the back of his mind that he’ll paint this later. The salt air flies past them and Hoseok shivers. “It’s a beautiful night.” Hoseok says to Changkyun as the waiter pours them a glass of wine. “I love the view.” Changkyun says as he looks at Hoseok instead of the ocean. Hoseok smiles and looks down at the menu. “What’s your favorite?” Hoseok asks as he flips through it. “I always get the steak.” Changkyun says. “Ohhh that sounds really good. I haven’t eaten all day. Just a lollipop and a sip of coffee.” Hoseok frowns with a small laugh. “Let’s order a lot?” Changkyun asks. “I could eat, I’ll eat a whole course.” He laughs. “I could too, I love food.” Hoseok laughs along. The pair spend the rest of the night together, they order anything and everything that sounds good. Hoseok can't tell if Changkyun is naturally flirty or not, but he likes it. “I’ll be back.” Changkyun excuses himself and Hoseok nods his head and looks out towards the dark night sky, with the moon illuminating the ocean. It sparkles just before him and he closes his eyes. Today was a great day. Changkyun comes back and sits down. “Are the bathrooms nice?” Hoseok asks. Changkyun laughs and nods his head. “They’re great.” He says with a smile. “Sorry, I have this weird thing about restrooms.” Hoseok says with a laugh. “It’s really nice, and clean.” Changkyun says. From the corner of his eye, Hoseok can see a group of servers come towards him. “Aw, it’s somebody’s birthday.” Hoseok smiles as he sees the waiter carrying a dessert with a beautiful candle on it. But then Hoseok realizes that they’re getting closer and closer. “Changkyun..” Hoseok says in disbelief as the waiters start to sing happy birthday to Hoseok.
Hoseok laughs and covers his mouth as he looks down at the desert and a candle. In chocolate is written Happy Birthday Hoseok . “You’re crazy!” Hoseok mouths and shakes his head. He laughs along with Changkyun before they start to sing along. The restaurant has all eyes on the pair, and when the singing is over, Hoseok blows the candle and random people clap for him. Hoseok smiles up at Changkyun and shakes his head. “Thank you.” He says to the waiters and then to Changkyun. “It’s not your birthday, right?” Changkyun asks as everyone goes back to their meals and work. “It’s not.” Hoseok laughs. “Oh thank god.” They both laugh their butts off and Hoseok’s eyes go wide as he tastes the creamy dessert. “Try it, it’s so good.” Hoseok laughs and feeds Changkyun with the spoon. “Oh that’s good .” Changkyun melts and Hoseok giggles. “Would you like for me to take a photo?” A waitress comes by and they both look at her with a blank stare. “Sure!” Hoseok smiles and fixes his hair. “Just a moment.” Hoseok says as he takes his phone out. He turns on his phone and once it’s on, his phone goes off with notifications. “You’re popular.” Changkyun chuckles. Hoseok laughs nervously, but instead of reading the notifications, he places his phone on do not disturb and hands it to the waitress. She takes a few photos of them and then hands the phone back. “Can I?” Changkyun asks. “Hm? Oh, yeah.” Hoseok smiles and hands his phone to him. Changkyun puts his number in and takes a selfie to put as the contact photo. “Let’s do this again.” He says as he hands back the phone. “I’d love to.” Hoseok smiles as he puts his phone away. “Can I take you home?” He asks. “We just had our first date and you want to take me home already?” Hoseok jokes and Changkyun smiles. “If you’ll let me.” He smirks and Hoseok smiles. “Yeah.”
“This is the address, I think.” Hoseok shows him the phone in the car and he nods his head. “Okay.” The time reads 12:45am. The ride home is so fun . They sing along to PinkPantheress and at stop lights they hold their breaths and then laugh when they can’t hold it any longer. “Can I call you?” Changkyun asks as he opens the door for Hoseok once they’re outside of his home. “Please.” Hoseok says with a small smile. “I’ll see you soon?” He asks. “Yes, come by my studio sometime, I’ll send you the address.” Hoseok smiles and starts to walk away, but instead he jogs back and hugs him. “Thank you for today.” He whispers. “I needed a good day and you gave me one.” Hoseok buries his head in the crook of Changkyun’s neck. He’s a complete stranger, Hoseok knows. But there’s something wonderful about meeting a stranger and becoming friends instantly. “I needed it too, Hoseok.” He hugs him back and rests his head on Hoseok's shoulder. They pull back a few moments later and finally say their goodbyes.
Hoseok walks inside the house and is met with worried looks from his parents and friends. “Hoseok!” Becky runs to him and hugs him. Namjoon, Jungkook and Taehyung feel like a weight has been lifted off their shoulders. “Where were you, are you crazy?” Becky sniffles and Hoseok looks confused, he hugs her back and laughs. “What’s going on? I’m fine, you guys. Ma, dad, sorry I came late.” He says. They both give him a hug after Becky. Hoseok’s mom slaps his arm and then his head. “Ow!” He rubs his head and laughs. “Call next time, you had us worried!” She says before giving him another hug. “Someone call Yoongi, tell him Hoseok’s home.” Taehyung says. Yoongi. Aw shit. Hoseok gets on the phone with Yoongi through Namjoon’s phone. “Hey, sorry. I’m home now.” Hoseok takes the phone into the bathroom by himself and listens to Yoongi.
“Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“No, no I’m fine. I was just out.” Hoseok says back.
“We were so worried about you, we had the beach day thing planned and then you totally disappeared on us.” Hoseok can hear Yoongi’s adrenaline through the phone.
“Call me next time, please. I’ll be there no matter what.” Yoongi says.
“Yoongi, I'm fine, I was out with a friend and we went out to dinner. I forgot to text, it’s okay.” Hoseok says with a small smile.
“What friend?” He asks.
“Nobody, look I'm home now so go to sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Nobody? I’ve been driving around for hours with Jin, looking for you. I was so worried baby, I thought the worst thing had happened to you.”
“Yoongi…” Hoseok sighs, he feels terrible. “I’m fine. I…I’m sorry.”
“I’ll be there in a few, love you.”
And the line ends. Hoseok walks out of the bathroom and hands the phone back to Namjoon. His parents have already retreated to their bedroom, which leaves the friends left. “You guys can go home, I’m sorry for today. I didn’t mean to worry you, get some sleep guys, really.” Hoseok hugs all of them and sends them off. Outside, he sits on the steps of his house and waits for Yoongi. Once he arrives, Hoseok stands up and Yoongi puts the car in park, leaves the door open and runs to Hoseok. Yoongi hugs his beloved and clings onto him, as if he had lost him, as if this was the last time. Hoseok rubs his back and pulls away. “I'm fine, see?” Hoseok says with a small smile. “Where were you? I-I was so worried.” Yoongi feels out of breath and he reaches down to hold both of Hoseok’s hands. “I was out with my friend. We went to dinner, and lost track of time.” Hoseok sighs and Yoongi kisses Hoseok’s hands gently. “Your phone was off.” Yoongi says. “Yeah, I… had it like that. Sorry, I should’ve texted or something.” Hoseok takes his hands back and clears his throat. “Come home with me.” Yoongi says desperately. “I’m already here, Yoongi.” Hoseok says. “You know what I mean.” Yoongi says. “I’m tired, I just want to take a shower and sleep.” Hoseok says. “Please.” Yoongi says. “I…” Hoseok looks back at the door and sighs. “I’ll tell my parents I’m leaving then.”
The car ride to Hoseok’s other home is silent. Yoongi drives with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other holds Hoseok’s hand. Hoseok looks out the window and smiles at the thought of his new friend. Yoongi looks over and notices Hoseok's smile, so he does too and he gives Hoseok’s hand a small squeeze. He turns to look at Yoongi and smiles tiredly. Once they arrive, Hoseok cuddles with Chewy for a little, he takes a shower and changes into his pajamas that Yoongi had given him. He walks out of the bathroom and laughs. “This shirt is too big for me.” He says to Yoongi. “It’s my shirt.” Yoongi smiles. “You look good in it.” Yoongi takes Hoseok’s hand and takes him to the bed. Hoseok rests his head on the pillow and sighs as he looks up at the tall ceilings. Yoongi shows Hoseok the pictures of his setup at the beach. He had hired someone to do a huge picnic in the shade for them. “It’s so beautiful.” Hoseok says as he takes the phone and swipes through the photos. “I’m sorry. I forgot today was beach day.” Hoseok hands back the phone and sighs. “We can go another day.” Yoongi says softly. “So, what friend?” Yoongi asks. Hoseok yawns and stretches. “You don’t know him.” He says as he cuddles into the pillow. “What’s his name?” Yoongi asks. “His name is nunya.” Hoseok giggles with his eyes closed and presses his lips together. “As in none of your business.” Hoseok giggles and covers his mouth to stop. Yoongi laughs and tickles Hoseok’s stomach, which makes Hoseok burst into a fit of laughter. They both tickle each other until they can’t breathe or it hurts to laugh. “Seriously, though.” Yoongi says a little after. “Changkyun. He’s very nice and a little chaotic.” Hoseok says. “He’s just a friend right? I need to meet him.” Yoongi says.
Hoseok rolls his eyes and pushes Yoongi lightly. “He’s just a friennnnd.” Hoseok laughs and Yoongi sighs in relief. “Good.” He says back. “Seok, can I ask you a question?” Hoseok nods his head. “Are you… attracted to me?” Hoseok looks into Yoongi’s eyes and clears his throat. “Why?” He asks. “Just… wondering.” Yoongi says. “You’re not exactly… my type.” Hoseok says softly, and it surprises Yoongi. “Really? What’s your type then?” Hoseok chuckles and shrugs. “Tall guys. I like long hair on a man, tattoos. You know, things like that.” Hoseok says softly as he thinks of someone, and Yoongi feels offended. “I’m tall, I have long hair.” He mumbles and Hoseok laughs. “That’s different though.” He says softly. “How? I'm your fiancé.” Yoongi says. “Because like… I don’t know. We’re practically the same height and you got a trim not that long ago.” He says softly. “But yes, I'm attracted to you. Would I let you kiss me if I didn’t think you were attractive?” Hoseok asks with a chuckle. “So I can kiss you?” Yoongi asks as he inches closer. “Be patient.” Hoseok whispers. Yoongi smiles. “Okay.”
“I think this is the first time we’ve laid down together and talked normally.” Hoseok says. “Long overdue.” Yoongi says and Hoseok smiles. “You’re a good friend.” He says softly. “I trust you more than anyone.” Hoseok admits. “Even though I just met you.” He chuckles. “Hey, can I ask you something now?” Hoseok asks as he sits up and leans against the bed frame. “Shoot.” Yoongi says. “What’s up with my parents? You guys are always bickering. It’s kind of annoying.” Hoseok chuckles, but deep down he feels that something is wrong, something must’ve happened. “I’ll tell you the truth.” Yoongi says as he sits up. And so he does go into detail about that fateful night Hoseok brought Yoongi home. Explains how they all argued, how they called them slurs and that when Yoongi finally stood up to say something, they slapped Hoseok and then him. Not long after, Hoseok would leave and never see his parents for years. “They hit you?” Hoseok gasps as he wipes the tears from his face that had fallen. “I have a tiny scar from your mother’s nail.” Yoongi turns his cheek and by his ear is a tiny scar. Hoseok places his hand gently on his cheek and caresses it. “You still stayed with me.” Hoseok whispers. “You shouldn’t have.” Hoseok sighs and Yoongi places his hand on top of Hoseok’s and leans into his touch. “I would never leave.” Yoongi says. Hoseok feels his body relax just by the simple touch of Yoongi’s fingers. A soothing sensation in Yoongi’s voice melts inside of Hoseok. He can feel himself falling for Yoongi.
His sweet words, his sweet melody’s that he hums in the car. Hoseok found it to be suffocating at first, but now he finds it endearing. Hoseok leans down and kisses Yoongi’s chapped lips. It’s not a sweet kiss, it’s dry and a little cold. But it’s the best kiss Hoseok has ever received. He pulls back and draws a heart around Yoongi’s scar. “I love you, Seok.” Yoongi says. And all Hoseok can do in return is kiss him again. Yoongi’s lips are now moist and soft, and the toothpaste tastes so good against his lips. When they have small moments like these, Hoseok can’t help but feel guilty. When he’s mad, he tells Yoongi to fuck off and to not bother him anymore, and then they end up kissing or becoming friends again. He can’t help but wonder if he’s the one that’s leading Yoongi on. Especially after his conversation with Dr. Kimmy. They pull apart and it’s silent, but not entirely awkward. Hoseok is the one that breaks the silence with his giggles that echo around the penthouse. Yoongi smiles and his heart and body is warm, it hasn’t been this loud in months. “Goodnight.”
“I love you, goodnight baby.”
But twenty seconds later, Hoseok pulls him in for a kiss. They pull back and they both share a nervous laugh because another kiss follows after that. “Goodnight.” Yoongi says happily. “Goodnight.” Hoseok says softly. “Seok.” Yoongi gasps as he feels Hoseok hug him from behind. He turns around and faces Hoseok, he wraps his arms around Hoseok’s waist as Hoseok leans up to kiss him. Whispers of “ are you sure? ” Hoseok smiles. “Yes, are you?”
“Yes.”
Making love is different from having sex, Hoseok figures. He only says this because it’s what Yoongi is doing. Yoongi holds Hoseok’s hands as they make love in the bedroom, constantly asks if he’s okay, if it feels good, if everything is alright. Yoongi’s nervous to touch Hoseok and it makes him feel good. Yoongi should feel nervous. Something in his chest explodes, Yoongi looks different like this, so beautiful, vulnerable. Only Yoongi. Hoseok only trusts Yoongi to see him like this. “I love you.” Yoongi is gentle, he starts off slow. He kisses Hoseok’s lips and body like it’s the last time. He whispers sweet nothings into his ear, and never breaks eye contact. Yoongi pants as he thrusts inside of Hoseok. He grips Yoongi’s shoulders and moans out Yoongi’s name in a mess. “Like that, like that- oh my god !” Hoseok squeals as he whimpers. “I’m gonna come.” Hoseok whines as he props himself onto his elbows. Yoongi goes faster and faster until they both reach their climax. He pants and leans down to kiss his fiancé. “I love you, Seok. I love you so much, baby.” Yoongi wipes Hoseok’s sweat before he collapses beside him. Hoseok kisses Yoongi and cuddles with him. “That was so good.” He whispers a little later. “I loved it so much.” Hoseok says shyly. “Yeah?” Yoongi asks after all this time, after all those years of confirmation. Hoseok giggles and looks up at the ceiling. “Yeah… you’re really big.” Hoseok blushes and looks over at Yoongi who’s smiling with pride.
➳
Two weeks later
“I think just… the uncertainty.” Changkyun says. “Right.” Hoseok says. He has his black joggers on with a matching sweater. They’re the only ones on the beach this late at night and a small lantern between them. Yoongi keeps blowing up Hoseok’s phone so he turns it off. How rude would it be to answer the phone while a friend is spilling his guts over his deepest, darkest fears? “It’s so nice talking to you.” Hoseok says softly. “I could listen to you talk forever.” Hoseok chuckles and turns to look at his friend. “I could say the same thing. I don’t think I’ve met anyone like you.” Changkyun smiles as he looks out onto the ocean. Hoseok smiles and pushes Changkyun. “Let’s go to my studio.” He suggests. “Will you paint me?” He asks. “Yes, yes I’ll paint you.” Hoseok laughs as his friend picks him up. The ride to Hoseok’s studio is chaotic, they’re singing to rock songs with the volume all the way up and with the windows rolled down.
“Woah.”
“Right?”
“It’s so nice.” Changkyun says as Hoseok gives him a small tour of the studio. “Restroom is over there, the kitchen is right through here and that’s it.” Hoseok laughs as he sits down in his stool. “Who’s this?” Changkyun asks. Hoseok turns his head and his smile fades as he looks over at the picture of him and Yoongi. It’s not a bad thing, but Hoseok likes to be distracted by everything. With Changkyun he can be normal. “Come.” Hoseok takes his hand and they sit down on some stools that Hoseok uses for his models (Yoongi). Hoseok goes into detail about what happened just a few months ago. He tells him about Yoongi, his friends, everyone and everything. With tears streaming down his face, Hoseok pours out his true feelings that he’s been keeping. His confusion, his fright. He can’t even talk to Yoongi about these things, and to have someone as friendly and trustworthy as Changkyun makes all the difference in the world. Changkyun holds Hoseok’s dainty hands and wipes the tears off his face. “It’s gonna be okay.” He says. “Have you gotten any memories back?” Changkyun asks. Hoseok shakes his head and blows his nose into a tissue paper. “No, nothing. I feel useless.” Hoseok cries and shakes his head. “You’re not useless Hoseok! Look around you, look at your work, look at us. We’re friends, I support you and I know you can do whatever you want.” Changkyun smiles and wipes Hoseok’s tears away again. “And Yoongi?” He asks. “I don’t know. Sometimes I like him, sometimes I don’t.” Hoseok sniffles with a laugh.
“Tell him how you really feel, because I think I know what you’re trying to say.” His friend says. “Okay.” Hoseok sniffles and they both stand up from the stools. Hoseok cries into Changkyun’s arms as they hug inside the studio. “Thank you.” Hoseok says after a while of hugging. Changkyun cups Hoseok’s cheeks and smiles. “You’re worth more than you think, stop putting yourself down.” Hoseok smiles, though his face is puffy and red from crying. “What’s going on here?” A voice calls out. Startled, the pair of men let go of each other and Hoseok looks over to see Yoongi standing by the door. “Yoongi.” Hoseok clears his throat and quickly wipes his tears, Changkyun clears his throat and looks at Yoongi. “Who are you?” Yoongi’s voice is deep and he seems irritated. “He’s my friend, remember I told you about him.” Hoseok sniffles as Yoongi walks over to them. “Changkyun, nice to meet you.” Changkyun smiles politely as Yoongi places his hand on Hoseok’s waist to pull him into his side. Yoongi nods his head. “Yoongi, I’m Hoseok’s fiancé.” He says. “Well, I’m going to get going. Paint me next time, yeah?” His friend asks and Hoseok smiles. “Tomorrow.” Hoseok says. “Deal.” Hoseok leaves Yoongi’s side and hugs Changkyun. “Thank you again, get home safe.” Hoseok says with a small smile. They say goodbye one last time until finally they’re alone.
Hoseok closes the door and walks over to Yoongi. “What’re you doing here so late?” Hoseok asks. “It’s two in the morning.” He says as he looks down at his watch. “I could ask you the same thing.” Yoongi says. “I was going to paint my friend, but we got lost in talking.” He explains. “And how did that end up with him cupping your face like he was going to kiss you?” Yoongi asks as he sits down on the stool. “He wasn’t going to kiss me.” Hoseok sits across from him and sighs. “I was telling him about my accident, my memory. Everything.” Hoseok explains as he looks into Yoongi’s eyes. “Don’t let him touch you like that.” Yoongi says softly. “You do the same thing.” Hoseok says. “That’s different.” Yoongi says. “Different because you’re the one who kisses me first.” Yoongi says in a whisper. “Can you just text me if you’re going to stay late? I get worried.” Yoongi says finally and he feels like he’s getting deja vu. Hoseok nods his head and that’s when Yoongi notices Hoseok’s been crying, he holds his hand and gives it a small kiss. “What’s wrong baby?” He asks. Hoseok shakes his head. “Nothing.” He says. “Can you take me home, please.”
“Night.” Hoseok says as he disappears back into his parents home. Yoongi knows something’s different. He feels it deep in his soul when he drives away. Hoseok gets home and looks around his childhood bedroom, same as it never was. He sits down on his bed and looks down at the engagement ring. It’s absolutely beautiful and in his old life he might’ve appreciated it more than now. He takes it off, takes a shower and goes to bed.
➳
It’s safe to say that Yoongi notices as soon as they meet up a few days later. It’s late in the night and Yoongi suggested they go out for a late night dinner. Nothing too fancy, just some hamburgers in the car with music playing in the background. “Where’s, uh… your engagement ring?” Yoongi asks as soon as they finish eating. “Oh, I must’ve forgotten it at home.” Hoseok says. “But actually, I wanted to talk to you Yoongi.” Hoseok turns off the music and clears his throat. The November air is cold and autumn is getting harsher as the day ends a lot faster now. But Yoongi is excited, their 7th year anniversary is only a few days away. Yoongi has an entire day planned, just for the two of them. “I think we should go our separate ways.” Hoseok says softly as he fiddles with his fingers. He won’t dare look into Yoongi’s eyes. “I thought about it a lot and I feel guilty that all of this is happening. You deserve someone who will give you the time of day and attention you need. The love you deserve, I’m depriving you of all of it. I’m a mess, Yoongi. I also just need… time to figure myself out, figure out what I want. Who I am, who I want to be and I don't have room for a relationship.” Hoseok sniffles as tears stream down his face and finally looks over at Yoongi, who’s looking out the windshield.
His hopes, dreams, and future are gone. Just like that, without warning. Yoongi grips the steering wheel and he feels like he can’t breathe properly. His hands tremble and he feels like throwing up the meal he just ate. “Please.” Yoongi croaks out. “Give me more time.” Yoongi blinks and his tears fly down. “I need to figure out who I am before I can commit to you, to anyone. I know we’re capable of making this happen, of this working. I knew the moment we made love. You took care of me, held me, and kissed me like I was this prize, like I was the best looking person in the whole world. I know what you’re capable of, but I just can’t right now. It’s impossible for me to commit to you right now.” Hoseok says softly. “I can help you.” Yoongi pleads and Hoseok leans over to wipe Yoongi’s tears. “You’ll find someone who will fall in love with you the moment they see you. They’ll love you and cherish you the way I never could these past few months.” Hoseok’s voice is shaky and his face is wet from crying. Yoongi reaches over and holds Hoseok’s hand. “I love you . I don’t want anyone else, I— please, Seokie.” Yoongi sniffles and Hoseok closes the gap between them with a deep kiss. It’s warm, wet, and unbelievably sad. Yoongi kisses back with want, with desire, kisses him because it’s the last time his lips will ever meet Hoseok’s. “Thank you for taking care of me.” Hoseok says as soon as they pull away. Yoongi shakes his head and squeezes his hand. “Seok, w-wait. Think about this, one more time.” He says and Hoseok cries. “Yoongi, please don’t make this any harder. It hurts me to do this, just please…” Hoseok wipes his tears. “You can have everything, the penthouse, the dog, anything. It’s yours.” Hoseok says and Yoongi looks out the window to wipe his face and to clear his throat. Never did Yoongi think it would happen like this. He never saw this coming, ever. The car ride back to Hoseok’s place is silent and hard to bear..
“I love you Hoseok, you’re the love of my life and I will always be here for you no matter what.” Yoongi says, his voice is deep and husky from crying. Hoseok frowns and hugs Yoongi one last time. “Take good care of yourself.” Hoseok whispers. “Thank you for everything.” Hoseok kisses his cheek and leaves the car, leaves his life behind, leaves Yoongi.
Back home Yoongi looks around the penthouse and now it just hurts to be in here. He cries to himself as he hugs Chewy who seems to be so happy that Yoongi is home. He lets go of the dog and goes to his bedroom and looks around, looks at the clothes Hoseok used to wear, everything they ever shared is now just his. Yoongi doesn’t know how to move on from this, doesn’t know what comes next, he does know that he will never give up his love for Hoseok. This time he’ll love him on the sidelines and watch him shine, just like always. It hurts, but he doesn’t want to be here anymore.
Days pass by, Yoongi is buried in his work, taking any case that’s available. All of his friends come by the penthouse tonight with drinks and food and comfort. “He just needs time.” Jin says as they all sit on Yoongi’s bed. Yoongi nods his head, but he’s numb. He’s been crying for so long, his tears have dried. Becky holds Yoongi’s hand from the side and cuddles into his side as they sit on the bed, their backs towards the wall. “I talked to him yesterday.” She says. “What did he say?” Jungkook asks. “He said that he was leading Yoongi on. Said that it would be better if he just started over, to get to know himself before knowing anyone else.” She explains. Yoongi nods his head, but he doubts that Hoseok was ever leading him on. He remembers those few kisses that they shared after the accident, those weren’t pitiful kisses, no. Hoseok liked him, Yoongi knows this much is true. “Look after him, yeah?” Yoongi croaks out as he looks at all of his friends. “Promise.” Jimin says. “Promise.” Taehyung says. “He’ll be fine and you will be too.” Namjoon says as he taps his knee. “Exactly.” Jin says with a sad smile. “Maybe you can focus on yourself too. Start that office that you wanted for so long.” Namjoon chimes in. “Maybe.” Yoongi says softly. “Remember when you and Hoseok broke up for a week?” Jin asks. “Yeah.” Yoongi chuckles as he remembers why they broke up, something silly over dishes or not vacuuming. “You didn’t cry, or anything because you told me that you knew he was endgame. That Hoseok would come around, and he did. And he will again this time, just give him time and I know fate and destiny will bring you two back together.” Jin says and these were the words that Yoongi needed to hear. He needed this, all of his friends here to support him. “I love you guys.” Yoongi says with a sad smile. “I don’t think Hoseok will ever come around anymore. His accident left him traumatized, scared, and confused. Please be there for him, ask him how he’s doing. Yeah? Just don’t tell me about it.” Yoongi says. “I don’t want to know anything about him anymore.” Yoongi sniffles and takes a chip to his mouth. “You don’t mean that.” Taehyung says softly. “I do. I’d rather not know anything.”
“I love him. And I’ll love him forever, from right here.”
Yoongi sleeps alone in his bed tonight, it’s really not much of sleeping because he wakes up every twenty minutes, but when he does fall asleep, he dreams of Hoseok. When he wakes up, it’s a total nightmare, it's the worst case scenario, it's the end of the world. “What do I do now?” He asks Chewy, who is laying down right beside him. “Hoseok was all I ever wanted.” Yoongi says and it hits him right then and there. “Oh, God.” He says as he stares at the pictures on the wall. “Hoseok was all I ever wanted.” Yoongi wipes his face and promises to pick himself up soon, promises that he’ll figure out his next step, his next move, his next goal. Just because Hoseok is gone, doesn’t mean the world is ending, no. It just means Yoongi will now have time to chase other dreams, and this time someone else will be on the sidelines.
➳
Hoseok looks at his parents with tears in his eyes. “I can though.” Hoseok says. “I’m leaving and I know about everything you did to us. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you Ma and Dad.” Hoseok grabs his two suitcases and drags them down the stairs of the house. “Jung Hoseok! Where are you going?” His father yells and all he can think of is getting out of here. “Away. Don’t contact me again.” Hoseok wipes his tears, puts his shoes on by the door and exits the house. In the driveway is his friend Changkyun with the getaway car. He helps Hoseok with the luggage and once they’re inside the car, Hoseok sighs. “Drive.” So he does. They drive all the way to Changkyun’s beautiful home. “Thanks for letting me stay.” Hoseok says. “I feel like I have no one.” He cries into Changkyun’s arms as they hug inside the living room couch. “You have me.” His friend responds. “Thank you.” Hoseok lets go as he blows his nose into a tissue. “In a few days, we’ll be in Europe, don’t stress about it.” His friend says with a reassuring smile. Hoseok found out that his best friend Changkyun was leaving the country for business in Europe he has as marketing director for a famous brand. Changkyun offered Hoseok to live with him in Amsterdam, and Hoseok accepted it. It’s a new start, the beginning of something new.
Two days later, Hoseok finds himself in the airport with his friend. They board the airplane and as they fly away, Hoseok says goodbye to his old life, his old persona, to Yoongi. He prays for Yoongi, prays that they’ll meet again and that Hoseok will be able to recognize him, not as a friend, but as a lover. Hoseok prays that Yoongi will forgive him, and prays that he will find someone new. The sunsets right beside him on the plane and just like that, Hoseok is a brand new person.
➳
Three months later
Yoongi looks around his new furnished house. He smiles as he watches Chewy run around the backyard. It’s the house Yoongi and Hoseok looked at three years ago. This was the house they wanted, but had settled for a penthouse. All of his friends finished with the rest of the boxes and pizza with wings had just been delivered as well. “I love it.” Jin says to Yoongi. “It’s nice, right? Two story home, huge backyard for Chewy.” He smiles for the first time in months and Jin hugs him tight. “It’s so nice, can I sleep here?” Taehyung asks and Jimin laughs and pushes him. “You’re all welcomed, whenever you want.” He smiles as he takes a slice of pizza. “There’s one person missing.” Namjoon says sadly. “Yeah.” Yoongi says. “He’s happy now though, he’s in Amsterdam.” Becky says. It comes as a surprise to Yoongi, he hadn’t heard from Hoseok since the last time he saw him. It’s been rough without him, but it’s slowly letting up. Yoongi knows his pain won’t ever go away, but he does know that what they had was real, and that’s what keeps him going.
Late into the night, Yoongi tosses and turns in his brand new bed, he can hear Chewy drinking water downstairs. He sits up and unplugs his phone from the charger on the nightstand. His finger hovers over Hoseok’s phone number. It lingers and lingers until he finally calls. What’s the worst that could happen? Yoongi looks out the French doors and opens them as he sits on a chair in the balcony. It’s high up, but he doesn’t care. It rings, rings again, rings some more.
“Hello?”
Yoongi feels his hands clam up. He clears his throat.
He hangs up and turns his phone off. This house was what Hoseok had always wanted, but now that he’s not here, Yoongi has to make the most of it. But for right now, he lays down on his bed, and cuddles into the brand new sheets he bought. And he mourns. Mourns in an empty bed the future he could’ve had, mourns the loss of a friendship, of a lover, of a soulmate. His tears leak into the pillow, and his grip on the sheets turn like crumpled paper. There’s no explaining a loss like this, almost like a death. Yoongi mourns the person he used to love, the life they had, and the person he used to be. He never saw this coming, and he’ll never be the same.
➳
Three Years Later
Yoongi wakes up in a cold sweat. He sits up and looks around his room, it’s dark and the moon is gone. “Are you okay?” The girl from the bar asks. She covers her naked body with the blanket and reaches over to hold his hand, but Yoongi leaves the bed instead. “Can you get out?” He asks. “Seriously?” She asks. “Yeah. You gotta go.” Yoongi’s eyes are droopy, but he’s awake. The beautiful woman uncovers her body and puts on her undergarments with a huff. “Call me?” She asks as she walks out of the house. “Sure.” Yoongi fakes a smile and closes the door when she leaves. 2:30 in the morning and Yoongi looks around the room. He’s alone again. As a child, Yoongi was always content with being alone. His alone time was the best time, he could read, watch a cartoon, nap, or just think. As a kid, Yoongi would draw dreamscapes on the ceiling before going to bed, but now as an adult, it’s a nightmare. You get so used to someone that when they leave, you don’t realize how much they impacted your life, habits, wants. He’s angry.
Angry at himself, at the world, at Hoseok. Yoongi groans and goes back to bed, but instead of laying down, he sits in his bed and stares into nothingness. Happy with the quietness and darkness in the room, a tear falls from his face as he starts to wonder if this is his life now. The sudden urge to change his life around starts to sink in, it’s truly now or never for Yoongi now. He hasn’t talked to his old group of friends in over a year either, except for Jin, who comes every week to check on Yoongi. As he starts to fall asleep, he thinks of a certain someone and creates another life in his head.
➳
The next two months of fall are hectic, Yoongi’s very own firm is finally moving from a small rented office to a huge building that he purchased alone. As he stands outside his growing empire in this cold weather, he can’t help but think of the few people missing in his life that would be more than proud to see him thrive. The movers carry the furniture inside, computers, everything and as soon as they’re done, Yoongi leaves the building and heads over to the bar, where he knows his friends are tonight. It’s a short walk, but when he enters and looks around for them, his heart races and his palms clam up. Yoongi walks over to their booth as soon as he spots them. Big boy steps. He stands outside of their booth and they all turn to look at him. “Yoongi.” Namjoon says with wide eyes. “What’re you doing here?” Taehyung asks. “Come, sit.” Jimin scoots over and Yoongi sits down. “I’m sorry.” Yoongi says with his head hung. Jin looks over and shakes his head. “Buy us a round and all is forgiven.” He says and everyone cheers up when Yoongi does. They embrace him on this cold fall night, they embrace his new life and the new him. “When… he left, I needed some time to myself. And I just wanted to tell you guys I’m sorry that I haven’t been around for the past three years, especially this year. I’m sorry I ignored you or yelled at you. I was going through it, but I just want to say that I love every single person here.” Yoongi clears his throat and shyly looks at all of them. Becky smiles and holds his hand from across. “We love you, and we’ll always be here for you.” Namjoon says. “Love you too.” Taehyung says. “Enough crying, let’s get drunk!” Jimin says as they all cheer with a new drink.
The next few weeks are so fun for Yoongi, he enjoys his big office overlooking the skyline of Seoul. He enjoys the company of his peers and colleagues. Yoongi also starts to enjoy his own private life. Yoongi goes home from a busy day of cases, and relaxes in his house with Chewy on the couch as he catches up on The Walking Dead. Yoongi cooks now, and as always, every Friday is movie night. He gets up and takes his phone, there’s someone he wants to call, he’s itching to know how they are, what they’re doing. Yoongi takes his food out from the oven and picks up the phone to call his friend. It rings once, twice, four times and he’s ready to give up. “Hello?” A voice comes through the phone and Yoongi smiles. “Dinner at my place?” He asks. “Okay.” She says. Half an hour later, the girl from the bar arrives with a beautiful dress on and Yoongi only wants to take it off as they dine together. As he looks at her from across the table, he can picture them in a relationship. She’s pretty, a year older than him, she’s a barista at a small cafe and she’s nice. “I’m leaving for Singapore next week.” She says and Yoongi’s hopes fall through. “Really? That’s awesome, how long will you be there?” He asks. “Ah, I’m actually moving there.” She says as she plays with her food. “Listen, Yoongi… if I weren’t already moving away, I think you and I would’ve been together and happy. But you took forever to finally realize that I liked you and wanted more.” She says sadly. “We met a year ago.” He says. “And it took you that long. I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” Sunmi says. “No, no it's okay. Let’s just enjoy our dinner.” He says softly. After a long talk and a few kisses, she leaves and Yoongi finds himself alone again.
➳
Yoongi looks up from the papers on his desk and tries to read his secretary’s face. “There’s a client that’s here to see you.” She says. Yoongi looks around the room and lifts an eyebrow. “I’m busy, they can go to one of our other lawyers. Give them… Johnny, he’s great.” Yoongi goes back to his paperwork and his secretary leaves. A few moments later, she comes back. “They insist on you taking their case, sir.” Yoongi rolls his eyes. “I’m going to fire you one of these days.” Yoongi says to her. “You can’t, sir, I’m one of the best people here and you need good looking people at reception anyway.” She smiles and Yoongi laughs. “Okay, send them in.” Yoongi says with a hand motion. He logs into his computer and starts a new sheet for this client. The door opens from the right corner of his office and his heart drops when he sees someone he didn’t expect to see on a Thursday afternoon. Hoseok. He watches as Hoseok strides over to the desk. He looks different, older, like he knows something Yoongi doesn’t. “Hi.” Hoseok says as he sits down. “Hey.” Yoongi says breathlessly. His chest tightens and his skin burns. “Sorry for telling your secretary that I had to see you, you must have a lot of clients waiting to meet you.” Hoseok’s dressed in black pants, a dark blue suede jacket and a white shirt underneath. He looks stronger, confident. Yoongi looks over at his computer and clears his throat. “It’s fine. How can I help you?” He says, keeping it strictly business. But it’s almost impossible to keep a straight face, he feels like fainting and throwing up. His Hoseok is right here in front of him, his hands feel clammy and he has a million questions. Hoseok examines Yoongi, his demeanor, his black suit, his undercut mullet that he likes. “I was in a car accident back in Amsterdam a few weeks ago. The car is totaled, but the person who hit me insists that I hit his car. His lawyer served me with papers to pay their medical expenses and pay for the car.” Yoongi types everything into the computer in silence, but his heart wrenches when he hears about Hoseok’s accident. He remembers the last accident they were in and its consequences.
“I don’t usually take cases like these, but I’ll take it.” Yoongi says. “Thank you, Yoongi.” Hoseok sighs and smiles. Yoongi reads over the paperwork Hoseok handed him and he has so many questions, but he holds himself back. “My secretary will call you soon to schedule a meeting with me, just stay in town and we’ll see what we can do for you.” Yoongi stands up and buttons his blazer. Hoseok stands up and smiles. “Okay, thank you Yoongi. I appreciate it.” Hoseok says softly. “Yeah.” Yoongi says awkwardly. “Have a good day. Lucia!” Yoongi calls out. Lucia walks into the room and smiles. “Sir?” She asks. “Get me the car downstairs.” Yoongi says as he walks out of his office, leaving Hoseok behind. Lucia walks side by side with Yoongi. As they head towards the elevators, Yoongi watches Hoseok rush towards the elevator. “Sunmi called earlier, she said thank you for the flowers.” Lucia says as she reads her notes. Yoongi’s cheeks go red and Hoseok looks around the elevator. “Can you…” Yoongi looks at Hoseok and presses his lips together. “Never mind.” They all exit the elevator and the doormen open the doors for all three of them. The valet opens the car door for Yoongi. “Lucia, can you get a taxi for him, please? Thank you, I gotta go.” Yoongi drives off and Hoseok stands on the sidewalk with Lucia.
Lucia looks up at Hoseok and smiles softly. “He looks great.” Hoseok says in a soft exhale. “That was a fast meeting.” She says to him. “He usually never takes a case like yours either, you must be special.” Lucia says as she gets out a phone to call a cab. “I hope so.” Hoseok says as he watches the car Yoongi was in, drive away “Anyway, the cab will be here soon, what’s the address?” She asks. Hoseok pulls out his phone and shows her the address to his best friend's house.
Yoongi gets home swiftly and rushes to the restroom as soon as he unlocks the door. He drops to the toilet and leans over it as he gags and throws up water from earlier. Yoongi pants and wipes his mouth with a towel that had been hanging from the side of the wall. The male pants and undoes his tie as he hyperventilates. Hoseok. He’s here, he’s back. Hoseok in Korea . Hoseok in his office. Hoseok in front of him. Yoongi passes out on the bathroom floor a moment later.
➳
“Wake up!” Yoongi feels cold water on his face and he instantly jumps back to life. He spits the water that spills into his mouth and looks around frantically. “Get up.” It’s Jin. “B-ut.” Yoongi puts his hand on the toilet and tries his hardest to stand up, but instead he falls back down. Jin groans to himself as he carries Yoongi to the bedroom. Just an hour later, Yoongi is awake and responsive when he finally sits up and asks what had happened. “Hoseok happened.” Jin responds. “He’s at Jungkook’s place right now.” Jin says and Yoongi’s hand starts to shake. His hand slithers towards the nightstand’s knob, and when he pulls it, a flask of moonshine is sitting inside. He grabs it, pulls it toward his lips and moans as he nods his head. “How long have you had that?” Jin asks. Yoongi shakes his head and shrugs as he keeps drinking it. “A while... I fill it up sometimes.” Yoongi says as he plops back down onto the bed. “Why me?” He asks himself. “Any other lawyer could’ve done it.” Yoongi feels like crying, it shouldn’t hurt this much. But he pictures Hoseok’s face in his mind and puts his guard up. Their love died young and Yoongi couldn’t bear witness.
The two talk for a couple hours until Jin clicks his tongue and looks around the room with a thought on the tip of his tongue. “I wonder why he’s back now.” Jin says. “I mean, it’s nice to see him, but the way he left was just really abrupt and… rude. We took care of him, held him, even fed him. And for him to leave like that?” Jin rants and Yoongi finally takes the last sip of his alcohol drink. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” He says in a gentle tone. “I’m in charge of his case, but I’ll have others run it for me.” He says softly. “But other than that, I’ll see you soon?” Yoongi asks as he sets the flask back in its drawer. “Is this your way of telling me to leave?” Jin laughs and Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Yes, now leave!”
➳
“Jung Hoseok?” Hoseok looks up from his phone and directs his attention over to the woman in front of him. Last night Hoseok had barely gotten any sleep, despite the fact that he went to bed early with his friend Jungkook. When he first arrived, he couldn’t wait to see Yoongi. It had been years since they’ve seen or spoken to each other, and now that he sits in the lobby area of his firm, he can’t wait to see him again today. “That’s me.” Hoseok stands up and follows the woman, who leads him deeper inside the firm. They walk past Yoongi’s office and Hoseok feels confused, but keeps going anyway. The receptionist opens the door for Hoseok. “Hoseok, come in.” A man says, and so he does. It’s a huge room, there’s a white board, a long table with chairs for meetings. “I’ll be in charge of your case. My name is Johnny.” He says as he sorts through the papers Lucia had given him earlier this morning. “I thought Yoongi was my lawyer..?” Hoseok asks as he sits down. “He is, yeah. Still is, he’s the one in charge so we’ll see him sometimes, but for the most part, I’ll be the one doing the hands on work. Don’t worry, he’ll stop by after this meeting to overlook everything. Let’s get started, shall we?” Hoseok feels disappointed, but overlooks this because this case needs to be done and over with.
After a good two hours of reviewing the case, the meeting comes to an end without Yoongi ever showing up. “See you tomorrow.” Hoseok says with a polite smile as he exits one of the many conference rooms. He decides to explore the office, he walks past many others, until finally he finds the kitchen. Hoseok smiles as he walks over to the break area, it’s nice and clean here and there’s baskets and baskets of snacks. His heart stops when he sees Yoongi sitting down on one of the tables, eating a small candy bar. He walks over to him and sits down in front of him with the biggest smile on his face. “Hi.” Hoseok says softly. He examines Yoongi’s surprised face, the way he locks his phone and then shyly looks away from him. “Hoseok.” Yoongi says breathlessly. Yoongi clears his throat and drinks his cup of water. “You didn’t come to the meeting today…” Hoseok says as he looks down at Yoongi’s hands. They’re veiny, nice and long fingers. “Yeah, I left it up to Johnny.” Yoongi looks anywhere else besides Hoseok and it bothers him. “I was really looking forward to working with you in my case.” Hoseok says. “Well, I’ll still look after your case and make sure everything goes correctly and according to plan.” Yoongi drinks the rest of his water and clears his throat again. Hoseok figures he does that when he’s nervous. “Thank you. Sorry, I feel like…” Hoseok scrunches his nose and looks away. “Like you don’t want me here.” He admits. Yoongi turns to look at him and immediately shakes his head. “It’s not that, you’re my client. I’ll help you.” Yoongi and Hoseok finally make eye contact and Hoseok makes sure to lock him in. “Just your client?” Hoseok asks. “I feel like we’re a little more than strangers.” Hoseok says.
Yoongi chuckles and slowly shakes his head. “What are we then? Because we’re not friends, we’re not in a relationship.” He says coldly, and it takes Hoseok by surprise. “I thought we’d always be friends at least.” Hoseok says as he feels his cheeks get hot. Yoongi looks down at his shoes and stops himself from saying anything when a group of his employees come in for their lunch. They bow to Yoongi and wait for him to say something. “Enjoy your lunch.” Yoongi says to the small group as he stands up and leaves. Hoseok follows him, calls for his name until finally Yoongi turns around. “What?” Yoongi asks obnoxiously. Hoseok’s taken aback. “We’re not done talking.” Hoseok says. “I think we are.” Yoongi continues his walk to his office and Hoseok still follows him in and closes the door behind him. The skyline of the city is absolutely gorgeous and it reminds Hoseok of their shared penthouse years ago. “What, Hoseok? What do you want?” Yoongi rubs his mouth and stands feet apart from him. “To fix this.” Hoseok says softly. Yoongi laughs in his face, it’s a cold bitter laugh that Hoseok has never heard in his life before. Hoseok has seen the side of Yoongi that’s caring, loving, and kind. This is a side he never even knew existed. “What’s there to fix?” He asks. “You left me . Remember?” Yoongi looks away and shakes his head. “I don’t blame you, I’d leave me too.” Yoongi clears his throat. “I didn’t have a choice.” Hoseok says. “You took care of me after my accident, I didn’t know who you were, who anyone was. And- and when you took me in, I was falling in love with you. I was falling in love with a man for what felt like the first time in my life and I was scared .” Hoseok cries in front of Yoongi, and shares his pride in front of him. Yoongi’s heart drops when he sees Hoseok cry in front of him. It takes everything in him not to reach out. “I was scared and I was holding you back. So I left. But now I know. ” Hoseok says. “I know you.” He repeats. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Yoongi chokes back a sob as he turns his body towards the skyline. He feels Hoseok’s arms slither around his waist from behind. Feels Hoseok’s chin resting on his left shoulder. “I know you. I miss you.” Hoseok whispers. “I love you.” Hoseok confesses. Yoongi’s heart rate picks up, he hasn’t heard those words in years. More than four years. “You’re confused.” Yoongi pulls away and turns around. “You’re just lonely.” Yoongi spits back. “You don’t love me. You never have.” Yoongi takes a few steps back. “Yoongi, Yoongi please . After my accident in Amsterdam… I remember everything.” Hoseok wipes his tears and Yoongi almost faints. He leans against his desk and catches himself just in time. “I remember how we met, how we got engaged, how we made love, I remember it all. It’s me.” Hoseok pleads. “It’s me and I’m here begging you to take me back, to listen to me. I know I did you wrong, I was selfish and mean and condescending.” Hoseok cries and Yoongi’s left confused. He moves away from Hoseok as best as he can. “You’re lying.” He says back, his chest feels tight again, he feels weak and cold, and feels as if he might throw up. “I’m not, I swear.” Hoseok cries and Yoongi takes a step back. “Get out.” He says. Hoseok stops crying and is startled by his words. “I’m not leaving.” Hoseok says as he wipes his tears. “I’m never leaving you ever again.” Yoongi gasps and looks anywhere else. “I remember you proposed to me under the sheets after an argument we had. You put the ring on my finger before I even said yes.” Hoseok laughs as tears continue to roll down his face. “And we made love.” He says softly as he places his hands onto his chest. “You wear your best apology, but I was there to watch you leave.”
Yoongi looks into Hoseok’s eyes, and it’s the last thing he sees before he faints and falls onto the floor. While unconscious, Hoseok lifts him up and takes him over to one of the lounge chairs. He stares at him and cries as he recognizes what he’s done. He calls for Lucia, who panics and later on gets a cold towel and water for Yoongi. He starts to slowly come to as Hoseok pats his forehead with the wet cloth. “I’m here.” Hoseok says softly. Lucia leaves the room and Yoongi finally opens his eyes. “It’s okay.” Hoseok says and Yoongi feels safe. He sits up and groans softly. “I’ll take you home.” Hoseok says. “No.” Yoongi moves away from him and though he trips over to his desk, he’d rather be there than with him. “Please.” Hoseok says. “I’m done talking about this.” Yoongi says as he takes a sip of his water bottle. “But Yoongi, I remember . I have most of my memories back.” Hoseok says. “That’s amazing Hoseok, but it has nothing to do with me anymore.” Yoongi says matter of factly. Hoseok’s eyes are shot and so are Yoongi’s. “You don’t mean that.” Hoseok says with snot running down his nose. Yoongi looks down at his feet and nods his head. “I do.” He says as he leaves his office.
A car picks Yoongi up from work, and drops him off at home. He spends the rest of the day locked away in his room with Chewy. Yoongi closes his eyes and remembers all of their good times, every laugh and smile, every dinner they ever had, and every smile they shared. But that was three years ago, and though Yoongi is completely in love with him, the trauma brings him back to the accident. And though it’s not Hoseok’s fault, Yoongi can’t help but think about that fateful night in the car.
“You knew and didn’t tell me?” Yoongi asks Jin, who stopped by. “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you. It had to be him, I just didn’t think he’d tell you so soon.” Jin says as he takes a piece of cheese from the charcuterie board Yoongi had made for the two of them. “Thanks for the heads up, I guess.” Yoongi complains. “What are you gonna do? He’s here for you .” Jin says. “I don’t know… I don’t know, I think it’s best if we never see each other again. I was doing just fine until he showed up.” Yoongi says as he downs his glass of wine. “This year has been so healing for you, your firm, Sunmi happened. Like?” Jin says softly with a yawn after. “Listen to what he has to say, what he wants exactly.” Jin says. “He wants to get back together.” Yoongi says. “I can’t say hello to him without risking another goodbye.” The night is young, but Jin leaves an hour after their talk, and Yoongi retreats to the bathroom to shower. It’s a tough night. To sleep will take a million years because his eyes are shot wide open. No toss or turn will help him sleep either. The thought of Hoseok, makes Yoongi’s heart race. He looked so good with that haircut, he’s slim and his jawline is killer. His sweet voice that Yoongi had yearned for so long is back, and yet Yoongi would rather suffer.
A month passed by since he last saw Hoseok. Yoongi sits in his office with Sunmi on the speaker. “I miss you.” She says softly. “I know we said we weren’t going to do anything, but I just wanted to tell you that.” She says sweetly. There’s a knock at the door and it’s Lucia with Hoseok behind her. “Come in.” He says. They walk in and Yoongi takes her off speakerphone. Hoseok sits down and Lucia closes the door behind her. “I miss you too.” Yoongi says as he stands up with the phone to his ear. “I'll call you back, I have a client right now, sorry.” Yoongi says goodbye and hangs up. “How can I help you?” Yoongi asks as he logs into his computer. Hoseok looks over at Yoongi’s phone and then back at him with a stern look. “Who was that?” Hoseok asks. “A friend.” Yoongi says. “Friends don’t talk like that.” Hoseok says softly. “Why do you care again?” Yoongi asks as he looks at Hoseok. “Because I love you, and I miss you.” Hoseok says softly. Yoongi feels butterflies swarm around his stomach just by saying " I love you. ” Yoongi laughs and shakes his head. “You left three years ago with another man and I’m wrong for having a friend?” Yoongi clicks his tongue and smiles with a sigh. “He needed me, and I left.” Hoseok says. “ I needed you, and you left.” Yoongi says. “I’m sorry.” Hoseok’s face scrunches up and he starts to tear up. Yoongi’s stern face softens as guilt rushes up towards his chest. “Hoseok… come on. Don’t do that.” Yoongi grabs the tissue box and hands it over to him. “I shouldn’t have left. We would be married and living together by now.” Hoseok wipes his tears and sniffles. “It’s me, baby.” Hoseok says after. “Baby it’s me. From before, please.” Hoseok pleads and Yoongi frowns. “Stop.” He says in a whisper. “Please just… let’s not make this any harder.” Yoongi says. Hoseok looks away and he’s hurt. It’s quiet now. “I’m not giving up.” Hoseok says. “Hoseok, let’s just talk about your case. Okay?”
➳
Yoongi walks into the bar at the corner of the street, the one he used to go to all the time with friends. He takes his jacket off, hangs it on the hanger and makes his way to their signature booth. It’s loud in here, somewhat dark and you can see the rain pattering against the windows. There’s people laughing, talking loudly, and faint music booms in the background as he strides over. “Hey.” Yoongi smiles as he sits beside Taehyung. Next to Taehyung is Jimin. Across is Jin and Jungkook. “Hey!” Namjoon says with the biggest smile, Namjoon sits down beside Yoongi and across from him sits Hoseok. “Brought the goods.” Namjoon says as he sets down the trays of pizza and fries. They all dig in, namjoon and hoseok make trips back and forth to the bar to get drinks as well. “Here.” Hoseok says as he hands Yoongi a cup of his favorite whiskey. Yoongi looks up from his conversation with Jungkook. “Thanks.” He says softly as he admires the way Hoseok looks tonight. “How have you been?” Hoseok asks. “I saw you two weeks ago.” Yoongi chuckles and Hoseok smiles and then shrugs. “Feels like forever.” Hoseok says as he sits back down. “I’m good, you?” Yoongi asks as he takes a sip. “Better now that you’re here.” Hoseok takes a sip of his drink and Yoongi looks down at his drink. There’s that flirtatious Hoseok that Yoongi remembers so well. “You look good.” Hoseok says. Yoongi watches as Namjoon leaves, leaving Hoseok and Yoongi alone at the end of the table, of course their other friends are sitting beside them, but still. “You too.”
Yoongi drinks the rest of his whiskey and Hoseok smiles. “Really?” He asks and Yoongi nods his head. “Yeah, you look great.” Yoongi says as he stands up. “Where are you going?” Hoseok asks. “Just getting another drink at the bar.” Yoongi says as he makes his way out of the booth. Hoseok stands up and follows him to the bar, leaving their friends behind at the booth. They sit down beside each other at the bar as Yoongi orders two drinks. The bartender makes their drinks and Yoongi takes out his phone to respond to a few texts. “Hey, what’s your name? You’re hot.” A drunk man comes up to Yoongi and tries to flirt with him. “Yoongi.” He says with a small smile, meeting someone new could take his mind off Hoseok for sure. This is a great solution. “Wanna dance?” He asks. “I’m his fiancé.” Hoseok says to the man standing before him. Hoseok laces their fingers together. “Oh shit, I'm sorry.” He says and Yoongi’s about to say something but the man ends up leaving. The bartender sets their drinks down in front of them, but all Yoongi can think or feel are Hoseok’s cold dainty fingers that he loved so much. Hoseok looks down at their hands and scoots closer. Yoongi clears his throat and pulls away, leaving Hoseok flushed. Yoongi turns back to the bar and rests his elbows on top of the bar counter. “Sorry, I just didn’t want him to bother you.” Hoseok says as he takes a sip of his drink. “It’s fine.” Yoongi says after.
“Are we okay?” Hoseok asks as he rests his elbow on the bar and places his cheek against the palm of his hand. “Yep.” Yoongi says. That guy was cute. “Can we talk?” Hoseok asks. “We’re talking right now, aren’t we?” Yoongi says. “You’re my fiancé right?” Yoongi asks and Hoseok’s face lights up. “I can be, baby.” Hoseok scoots closer and takes Yoongi’s hand in his. “You’re my fiancé tonight, are you gonna leave me tonight with another man? Or is that tomorrow? Or are you going to crucify me tonight because I get jealous?” Hoseok has always, even before they became a couple, been on the right side of Yoongi’s life. To him, Yoongi has always been the kindest man, he’s such a gentleman, he’s beautiful and Yoongi has always treated Hoseok like the most important person in the world. So to be on his wrong side, makes Hoseok crazy. Yoongi has never been this petty with him before, never been this stubborn and Hoseok feels like crying as he listens to Yoongi’s rant. Hoseok grips Yoongi’s hand and brings it up to his lips. He places a gentle kiss and Yoongi’s demeanor changes. “I won’t do any of that.” Hoseok promises. Yoongi lets go of Hoseok’s hand and looks away. “I love you.” Hoseok says to him. “I love you, Yoongi. You’re the love of my life.” Hoseok frowns and chases Yoongi’s gaze. “Tell me you love me.” Hoseok says as he moves Yoongi’s face to look into his eyes. “Even if it’s a lie.” Hoseok says and Yoongi’s eyes start to tear up. “I can’t.” Yoongi says softly. “You can.” Hoseok says softly.
“Guys! Come watch Jungkook chug this whole pint!” Taehyung yells out. Yoongi looks over and takes this opportunity to leave. He almost said it just now, if it weren’t for Taehyung to interrupt them. The pair make their way over and the night is somewhat of a blur from here. They all drink, laugh along and eat all of the food together. The night goes on, even as Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jin all sit in a cab on their way to Yoongi’s home. “I got him.” Hoseok says as the cab stops in front of Yoongi’s house. “You sure?” Jin asks. “Yeah, I’ll take him from here.” Hoseok says softly. Yoongi drunkenly walks inside the house with Hoseok behind him. Chewy comes running to them, but goes absolutely feral when he meets Hoseok. Hoseok sits down on the ground and pets and cuddles with Chewy. Yoongi smiles drunkenly and makes his way over to the kitchen to sober up. Hoseok tears up as he looks around the house. He walks over to Yoongi and wraps his arms around him from behind. “It’s the house that we wanted.” Hoseok says in awe. Yoongi turns around and Hoseok presses his lips against Yoongi’s. “I love you.” Hoseok says as he pulls back. Yoongi stares at Hoseok for a while, until he cups his face and kisses him back. They stumble around the kitchen before Hoseok starts to pant. “Bedroom.” He demands. Yoongi nods his head and leads Hoseok over to the bedroom. Hoseok pushes Yoongi onto the bed and crawls on top of him. “Let me show you how beautiful you are.” Hoseok whispers.
And he does. With the door closed, and the curtains drawn, Hoseok shows Yoongi his true love, his obsession with his body, his loyalty and devotion. Just as Yoongi deserves, as he should be treated. “You’re beautiful.” Hoseok mumbles against Yoongi’s plump lips as he traces his fingers over Yoongi’s curves. They get lost in the moment, Yoongi and Hoseok are mesmerized by their electric touches, and as they strip their clothes off, Yoongi admires the view in front of him. It’s been so long since he and Hoseok had been intimate. Yoongi didn’t think he would ever get to see Hoseok this way. But now that he is, he remembers how magical it was, remembers everything, every hand placement. “Are you sure?” Yoongi asks Hoseok, but he’s in a daze, they both are. “Yes.” Hoseok says back with a kiss. As Hoseok rides Yoongi and Yoongi grips his touch on Hoseok’s waist, Hoseok confesses his love for him. “I love you.” Hoseok says and Yoongi almost stops, but instead Hoseok leans down and kisses Yoongi tenderly as his hips do the work below him. “You’re drunk.” Hoseok smiles as he pants between kisses. “ Harder baby.” Hoseok says as he leans back, his hands resting on Yoongi’s thighs. Yoongi thrusts up into Hoseok and they both soon reach their climax. Hoseok’s moans are music to Yoongi ears. The way Hoseok screams Yoongi’s name sends shivers down his spine. Hoseok moves out and Yoongi pulls out. Hoseok collapses beside Yoongi and immediately cuddles into his side. Yoongi kisses Hoseok’s forehead and wraps his arms around him. “I love you.” Hoseok says before he kisses Yoongi again. “I love you.” He repeats. They try to stay up and talk, but Yoongi falls asleep just ten minutes after. Hoseok smiles to himself as he sleeps in Yoongi’s arms for the night.
➳
The following morning, Hoseok wakes up alone in bed. He smiles from last night's activities. He walks over to the closet and looks for something to wear. “I could put my clothes here.” Hoseok says happily as he finds a hoodie and sweatpants that belong to his man. Hoseok walks over to the bathroom and runs himself a hot bath. “And my toothbrush can be beside his.” He smiles to himself as he relaxes with the hot water. “And soon we’ll get married and have kids.” Hoseok blushes to himself as he dreams over the future. As soon as he finishes, he dresses up and walks out of the bedroom. Chewy runs up to him and Hoseok smiles as he calls out for Yoongi. “Hey.” Yoongi says. He’s dressed in his suit for the work day, and his long hair is slicked back to where you could see his undercut. Hoseok smiles cheeky and cutely skips over to Yoongi. “Morning.” Hoseok says sweetly. Yoongi pours his hot coffee into his mug and reads the news on his phone. Hoseok stands beside Yoongi and takes his mug into his hand and sips on it. He makes a sour face and shakes his head while sticking out his tongue. “Ugh! How can you like dark coffee?” He asks. Yoongi ignores him and goes back to his reading on his phone. “You have to go.” Yoongi says and Hoseok peeks his eyebrows up. “Hm?” He hums questionably. “Can you get out?” He asks. “What? You want me to leave?” Hoseok asks. “Yeah.”
Hoseok furrows his eyebrows and snatches Yoongi’s phone. Yoongi looks at him and Hoseok puts the phone in his pocket. “I’m not going anywhere.” He says sternly. “You can’t just treat me like a one night stand.” Hoseok’s eyes start to fill up with tears as he remembers last night's events. “Hoseok… give me back the phone.” Yoongi is getting deja vu, he remembers how Hoseok used to do this with his iPad too. “No.” He says. “Fine, stay here.” Yoongi says as he walks out of the kitchen. “Where are you going?” Hoseok follows him and Yoongi turns around, frustrated. “To work. Do whatever you want Hoseok, just leave me alone.” Yoongi grabs his keys, his satchel and then leaves the house. Hoseok frowns as he watches Yoongi leave and for the first time ever, he feels like a little kid. Hoseok just wants Yoongi to feel the same, to love him, he wants to go back to how things were before the accident. Hoseok looks around the house and smiles when he sees Chewy who’s itching to go outside. He walks over to the glass doors and slides it open for Chewy to go running outside. The male walks outside as well and sits down on one of the lounge chairs.
Yoongi spends the day at the firm. No, literally, he attends work but he’s not fully there. Not when flashbacks of last night come to him in a blur. He doesn’t even know how he got here actually. The thought of Hoseok floats around his brain as he entertains the idea of them being together. Yoongi sighs and tries to focus, but he just can’t. Hoseok’s curves and hips that he missed so much, he finds it annoying, how much he wants to see him like that again. Yoongi finds it annoying how captivating and magnetic Hoseok has always been. Yoongi knows it's not Hoseok’s fault for leaving, for losing his memory, for deciding this wasn’t the life he wanted. “Sir?” Yoongi snaps out of his daze, he was so zoned into his daydreaming and thinking that he wasn’t expecting complete silence when he looked up from his computer. “Yes?” Yoongi asks softly. Lucia opens the door fully and in, steps a client after her. Yoongi takes this man’s case and offers him legal consultation, and though he has been out of it, Yoongi never plays around with his clients.
It doesn’t come as a surprise to Yoongi when the next client he sees is Hoseok. This time Yoongi actually shows up to the meeting with Johnny and Hoseok. Lucia accompanies them as well to take his notes. There’s a glow in Hoseok’s skin when they see each other, and though they fought this morning, Yoongi can’t remember why anymore. “Hey.” Yoongi says as he sits next to him. “Hi.” Hoseok smiles shyly. Johnny turns off the lights and presents his PowerPoint presentation. “I missed you.” Hoseok whispers as they both face the screen. “I missed you too.” Yoongi’s palms rest on his knees but they itch to hold Hoseok’s. “Really?” Hoseok asks as he continues his gaze towards the presentation. “Yeah.” Yoongi responds and Hoseok tries so hard to hide his smiles. “I’m sorry about this morning.” Yoongi looks down at his lap and shakes his head, Hoseok turns his head and stares worriedly at Yoongi. “No, no. It’s okay, I’m sorry too.” Johnny feels nervous when Yoongi hangs his head low because he thinks he’s not presenting well, which makes him start to sweat. Yoongi looks at Hoseok and nods his head. They share a small smile, but Yoongi looks down at his hand, his fingers tapping his knee. “I can… be cordial. Friendly.” Yoongi says, and this is his way of compromising. But Hoseok sees this as the start of something new, at this point he will take anything he can get from Yoongi, friendly or not. “Me too.” Hoseok says, but something in him feels relaxed. Yoongi pays attention to the presentation. “We have two options, settle this privately with their lawyer, or we go to court.” Johnny says as he wipes the sweat off of his upper lip. “Let’s try to settle this, if they don’t budge, we’ll take them to court.” Yoongi listens and nods his head in response, Hoseok turns to look at him and worriedly hiccups. It’s the cutest thing ever and Yoongi doesn’t know what to do with himself. “Lucia will schedule a phone call with them, and from there we can see what our next step will be. Continue with the presentation.” Yoongi says to johnny. Although they’re all in the room, Yoongi can barely hear him. The only thing that’s present is the burning flame that he feels on his fingertips as he slowly reaches out and holds Hoseok’s pinky with his own. Hoseok gasps and looks down at their hands. They try so hard to hide their smiles, but it’s hard when a tingling sensation interrupts their meeting.
➳
“He knows me, but he’d rather just lie.” Hoseok says to his friend, Changkyun, who is helping him move into Hoseok’s new studio home. “You sure you don’t want to stay with me? And why do you say that?” He asks his friend. “Nah, I’m fine here.” Hoseok says as he looks around his little home, to him this is just temporary. “So how is he?” This isn’t a hard topic to talk about with Changkyun, even though they were together at one point, it didn’t work out and Changkyun was okay with it. Besides, he has a girlfriend back home in Amsterdam. “Good, he has a house now… the one we talked about getting. He has a successful firm, he had always wanted to open his own firm and finally he did. I’m so proud of him, he’s achieved everything he has wanted.” Hoseok sniffles and shakes his head as he swallows his cry. Changkyun rubs his back and smiles. “It’s going to work out.” He insists and now Hoseok feels like an asshole. “Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.” Hoseok clears his throat and makes his way to the kitchen where he takes a glass of cold water and chugs it. “It’s fine, we were friends first and besides, I’m always going to be here for you. The same way you were with me when I asked you to come with me to Amsterdam.” Changkyun keeps his distance and smiles when Hoseok begins to relax. “Thank you.” Hoseok sighs in relief. “Love you.” Hoseok says as he hugs his friend. “I do too, but I gotta go now. My flight leaves in an hour and I haven’t checked in on my phone yet.” Changkyun laughs and Hoseok slaps his arm. “Okay, well thank you, thank you for helping me move in and settling down here.” Hoseok says as he walks his friend over to the door.
“It’s no biggie. All right, I’ll see you soon.” And just like that his friend is gone and Hoseok is all alone in a new city with nothing but an empty cup in his hand. He lays down on the floor with a blanket over him and a small pillow underneath his bed. Nightmares of that fateful night come to life in his head as he sleeps. The screams, the car flips, everything. And when he wakes up in a cold sweat, he pants and wishes Yoongi was here. He can only think of how Yoongi had to endure all of this trauma by himself, with no one to help or no one to talk to about it. A guilt rises in his chest as he sits up. “I’m sorry.” Hoseok whispers to himself. He falls asleep not too long after, but it’s the same dream, except this time it’s his car accident in Amsterdam. It was a lovely night, he had gone out to dinner with friends, got a coffee after. But the drive home was weird, Hoseok was alone in his new car and something felt off. He had a sickening feeling in his stomach and as he pressed on the grass through the green light, a car came out of nowhere and hit the left side of the car. He hit his head and in the moment of impact, Yoongi’s face flashed before him until everything went dark.
➳
“Hey.” Yoongi says in front of him. “Hi.” Hoseok smiles cooly. They both happen to find each other at the old coffee shop they used to walk to every morning with Chewy. “What’re you doing here?” Yoongi asks as he waits by the kiosk for his coffee. Hoseok chuckles as he waits beside Yoongi for his own drink. “I remembered this place, so I came to see if it was still here, luckily it is.” Hoseok says with a small smile. Summer is almost over, and Fall is just around the corner too. “We used to come here every morning with Chewy.” Hoseok says to Yoongi and his friend smiles and nods his head. “Seems like forever ago.” Yoongi says as he looks at his receipt. “Order for Yoongi! Order for Hoseok!” The barista yells out. “Oh my gosh, you guys are back.” The barista smiles as she gives Yoongi the drinks. “Are you guys married now? I haven’t seen you guys here together in years.” She smiles as she gives Yoongi a tray for the drinks. “Oh, we’re not-.” Hoseok says, but he’s interrupted by Yoongi. “We are, thank you so much.” Yoongi says as he leaves a 10 dollar bill in the tipping jar. Hoseok blushes, takes his drink and walks out of the coffee shop with Yoongi. “There you are! The shops around here are so cute, let’s go to the park, there’s one nearby.” A girl with long black hair and porcelain skin says. She’s gorgeous and she’s talking to Yoongi. “Sunmi, this is Hoseok.” Yoongi says as he hands her the coffee cup. “Hi.” She smiles politely as she takes the coffee. “Nice to meet you.” Hoseok says politely. “We gotta get going, but I’ll see you tomorrow at the office?” Yoongi asks, but Hoseok is dazed, who is this girl? “Huh? Oh. Yeah, okay.” Hoseok says softly as he watches how Sunmi links her arm with Yoongi’s. He watches them leave, watches how Sunmi looks back and smirks as she holds Yoongi’s hand. Hoseok clicks his tongue, tastes his coffee and goes home.
➳
“This is the last time I’m asking Sean.” Yoongi says sternly. Johnny, Yoongi, and Hoseok sit patiently and anxiously in the middle of the night talking to Sean, who is the lawyer of that loser who is suing Hoseok. “Hold on.” Sean says and the line goes quiet. Johnny taps paces back and forth, Hoseok taps his foot in his seat and Yoongi seems to be perfectly fine. “Yeah, no. That’s not gonna work.” Sean says on speakerphone. “Okay. We’ll see you in Amsterdam.” Yoongi says aggressively as he hangs up. “What just happened?” Hoseok asks. “They denied the settlement. We’re going to court, so get your bags packed soon, we’re going to Amsterdam.” Yoongi says with a sigh. “Johnny, you can go home, its fine.” Yoongi says softly and Hoseok thanks Johnny for his help. “You too. I’m just going to stay here and make a few phone calls.” Yoongi says as he stands up. “I’ll get us food.” Hoseok says instead. The two of them spend time together at the firm. It’s nice, it’s freezing outside with the October winds. The warm lights seem to feel like home for the two of them, and they both remember when they would spend nights like this in Yoongi’s office in their old penthouse. Yoongi gets in contact with a colleague of his from university, who connects him with a lawyer from Amsterdam, who will then teach Yoongi how their judicial court system works. “I can go first and when we figure everything out, you can come.” Yoongi says as he looks on the computer to book his flight to Amsterdam that departs one week from now. “I’m coming too, Yoongs.” Hoseok says and Yoongi adds another seat.
They sit down together in the lounge the firm has. The pizza was just delivered, and the firm is mostly dark, except for this very room. The two of them are laughing, sharing a can of soda with two straws, and a bag of chips beside them. “An article came out about us.” Yoongi says as he hands Hoseok his phone. Hoseok chuckles and looks down at the phone, the headline reads; Cutthroat Lawyer Min Yoongi, & Modern Artist Jung Hoseok seen together at law firm . The article dives into a biography of their relationship, how they met, and it all leads to one big question: what happened between them? Will we ever see another Jung Hoseok painting? Hoseok laughs and shakes his head, he had forgotten about this part of his life, clearly so had Yoongi because this article is so dramatic and tiny bit invasive. “They’re bringing up our history.” Hoseok says as he gives back the phone. “Yeah, but we’re not listening.” Yoongi says and Hoseok nods his head. “True. Nice to know though.” Hoseok adds. “Eh, I don’t appreciate articles like these, even when we were together, I didn’t like them poking into our business.” Yoongi admits and Hoseok is shocked partially. “I didn’t mind, I liked the attention because it brought attention to my work, to my paintings. And we were always being invited to a gala, a museum opening, press events, etcetera.” Hoseok says. “We loved going.” Hoseok says, and he’s a little confused. “I’m more of a private person.” Yoongi says as he finishes his slice of pizza. “ You loved going, I loved watching you shine.” They both go quiet and Hoseok clears his throat. “I miss it.” He says. Yoongi nods his head and smiles. “Who was that girl, by the way?” Hoseok asks as he changes the subject. Yoongi smiles and shrugs. “A friend.” He says. Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Do you like her?” He asks. “Not anymore.” Yoongi confesses. “I used to, but we could never find the right time to be together.” Yoongi says and Hoseok feels… sad, and bad for Yoongi. “Kind of like us.” Yoongi adds.
Hoseok sighs and takes a bite of his now cold pizza. “We should get going.” Yoongi says and Hoseok nods his head. “I’ll drive you, come on.” The two of them pack their things and get going just a few moments later. Hoseok gives him his address and Yoongi is appalled by where Hoseok lives, its in a bad side of town. Lots of crime, drugs and weirdos hang around here. “Nope.” Yoongi says as they enter Hoseok’s studio. “Pack your clothes.” Yoongi says. “Hm? What, why?” Hoseok asks with a small laugh. “Come live with me.” Yoongi says and Hoseok turns around to look at him, shocked. “No, no way.” Hoseok laughs and so does Yoongi. “Yes, come on, I’ll help you. You’re not staying here, and I have an extra room at home.” They argue a little over this, but Hoseok gives in when Yoongi holds his hand to convince him, and that's all he needed. “Give me the keys, I’ll bring the car back around, you shouldn’t be in this town.” Yoongi says and Hoseok laughs. Yoongi gets the car and Hoseok enters the car with two bags and a backpack. Yoongi helps him and finally they are in the car. The drive home is nice, they spend it chatting away,, despite it being two in the morning. Once they arrive, Yoongi helps Hoseok settle in and it's so nice to see Hoseok like this. It brings back old memories and old feelings for Yoongi, but are they old? Or did they never fade away? After they take separate showers, they find themselves on the living room floor with cans of beer all while The Walking Dead plays on the television. Hoseok jumps and scoots closer to Yoongi, who is not scared at all. “You okay?” Yoongi asks. “Yeah, it’s just been so long since I’ve seen your show.” Hoseok says with a nervous laugh. “ My show? This was our show.” Yoongi laughs and so does Hoseok. “ You liked this show, I liked The Flash.” Hoseok says and Yoongi is surprised. They turn back to the show and this time Hoseok jumps and hides his face on the crook of Yoongi’s neck. “Turn it off.” Hoseok says anxiously. Yoongi immediately turns it off and looks down to see Hoseok clinging onto him.
“Sorry.” Hoseok says softly. “It scares me a lot more now.” Hoseok says as he pulls back. “It’s okay, are you okay?” Yoongi asks as one hand rests on Hoseok’s back. “A little.” He says softly. And Yoongi looks into Hoseok’s star-like eyes. The room is dim and dark, silent and there are four brown eyes who never saw this coming. Yoongi blinks and so does Hoseok, their hearts are beating a mile a minute, Yoongi’s palms are sweaty and clammy. Yoongi leans in and gently presses his lips on Hoseok’s. Their hands tremble as they hold each other, Hoseok kisses back softly and its all in slow motion. But Yoongi pulls back and moves away. “Baby.” Hoseok whispers as he looks at him. “It’s okay.” Hoseok says as he scoots closer. “It’s not.” Yoongi says. “It took you five minutes to end it, I still remember that night in the car.” Hoseok frowns and shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” He says again. “I watched you leave.” Yoongi says. “I’m sorry.” Hoseok says as he holds his hand. “That wasn’t me.” Hoseok says as he places Yoongi’s hand on his chest. “Do you feel that?” Hoseok asks. Yoongi feels Hoseok’s fast heart rate against the palm of his hand. “This is me. The me that loves you, that wants to touch you, kiss you, hold you. That wasn’t me.” Hoseok cups Yoongi’s cheeks and he’s finally calmed down. “I love you.” Hoseok says. And Yoongi closes the gap between them with a needy kiss. “It wasn’t you.” Yoongi says with acceptance. They kiss on the floor of the living room, and it's all they have ever wanted.
➳
The following week is absolutely hectic, Yoongi spends his week in Amsterdam with Lucia, Johnny and Hoseok. They go over everything, every single paperwork, every angle of every camera footage from Hoseok’s car accident. And while they have dinner together with the team, they secretly hold hands underneath the table. It feels brand new for Yoongi, he feels like a teenager again, feels exactly the same as when they first met, except this time Yoongi knows how this is going to end. They stay in separate hotel rooms, but Yoongi sneaks over to Hoseok’s room in the middle of the night. It’s now November and it’s incredibly cold here. They lay in bed together, staring into each other’s eyes. “Are you nervous?” Hoseok asks his friend. Yoongi chuckles and shakes his head. “Nope.” He says with a smile. “Nothing scares you Min Yoongi.” Hoseok says with a smile and Yoongi smiles along too. Even though Hoseok is wrong, Yoongi’s fear is losing this again. They’ve kissed here and there, held hands in secret, but they don't know what this is yet. Yoongi fixes Hoseok’s hair and leans in for a kiss. Hoseok and Yoongi smile into the kiss and Hoseok uses the opportunity to cuddle with him. “I love you.” Hoseok says with a small smile.
Morning arrives and Yoongi is dressed in his best suit for today’s court day. Hoseok’s Amsterdam lawyer is here in the lobby of the hotel too. Lucia, Johnny, Yoongi and Johnny make their way to the court in a cab. This whole week they had a mock trial, trained Hoseok on what to say when he testifies, trained him in the press just in case news reporters happen to be there. Despite this not being a huge case, Hoseok is still seen as a public figure on social media and in the art community. They arrive in front of the court and they are all shocked by the amount of people and news outlets that happen to be here. The crew gets out of the car, but Hoseok and Yoongi stay inside of the car. “Take a deep breath.” Yoongi says to Hoseok as he holds and squeezes his hands. “Okay.” Hoseok says after. “What if we don’t win?” Hoseok asks nervously. Yoongi smiles at Hoseok’s face. “Baby, I’m your lawyer, that won’t happen.” Yoongi nods his head and Hoseok wraps his arms around Yoongi’s waist. “ Kiss me.” Yoongi says to him in a whisper. Hoseok’s heart beats fast and he leans up to kiss him with his soft lips. Yoongi kisses back and then kisses Hoseok’s hands. “Let’s go.” The walk inside is crazy, everyone wants to talk to the two of them. The paparazzi shout out their names, and the flashes of the cameras go crazy when Yoongi holds Hoseok’s hand and leads up the stairs and into the courtroom. The session starts, and so do the opening arguments. The prosecution presents their case in front of the jury and those who are inside the courtroom. And as Hoseok sits silent beside Yoongi, he feels like smiling, even though he was advised not to. For years Yoongi has watched Hoseok be a star, has watched him from the sidelines and has cheered him on at every single event. But now as Hoseok watches Yoongi defend him in court, he watches him shine as he argues with the other lawyers. His Yoongi is so well-spoken, quick-witted and great at arguing. Hoseok stares at him in awe, this is where Yoongi shines. And Hoseok feels incredibly lucky to witness greatness in front of him.
“We, the jury, find Jung Hoseok not guilty of crashing into John Paytas car. Therefore, find John Paytas guilty of faking an injury, and forging medical bills.” Hoseok pants as he holds Yoongi’s hand and Johnny’s hand as they sit while hearing the verdict. The judge ends the session and they all stand up to hug each other. “Oh my god!” Hoseok cries as he hugs Yoongi. “We did it.” Yoongi says with a smile as they pull away, and Yoongi fights the urge to kiss him. They leave the courthouse together, where Yoongi gives a statement to all of the news stations. “Jung Hoseok was found innocent in this trial and justice was brought forth. We thank his fans and friends for their support and kindness, thank you.” Hoseok stands proudly beside him and randomly proceeds to get in front of the mic. Yoongi laughs and moves aside. “Thank you so much for your support, this is all possible to Min Yoongi.” Hoseok smiles and turns to look at him. “I love you, thank you.” Hoseok says to the mic and to the loud crowd in front of him. And just like that, they all leave back to the hotel, where they all celebrate in Hoseok’s room with champagne and food. “Told you it would be alright.” Yoongi says to Hoseok with a smile. “I love you.” Hoseok says to him with a smile. “I love you more.” Yoongi says for the first time since last. Hoseok melts and takes his hand. “Lets go to your room.” Hoseok whispers and they sneak out. “Say it again.” Hoseok says cheekily. “I love you.” Yoongi says with a smile. “Again.” Hoseok demands as they make their way to the bed. “I love you so much.” Yoongi says as he kisses Hoseok. “I love you, I love you.” Hoseok drops the champagne on the floor and jumps into Yoongi’s arms. “I love you.” Hoseok whispers as he’s underneath Yoongi as they lay in bed. “I love you.” Yoongi repeats. The clock ticks and they find themselves undressing themselves, whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears. Yoongi is mesmerized by the way his man looks, he traces every curve as they make love. And when they pick up their pace, Hoseok holds onto Yoongi, scratches his back and moans into his ear, just for him to hear.
➳
“I never want this to end.”
“It won’t.”
“I’m scared.”
“Don’t be, you have me.”
Hoseok and Yoongi hold hands in front of their friends and some family. “What if I fall?” Hoseok asks in a whisper. “You won’t, baby.” Yoongi whispers.
“I do.”
“I do.”
The judge pronounces them married and their friends cheer for them as they step down and make their way through the aisle. It’s their wedding day, exactly two months from when they were in Amsterdam. When they arrived from Amsterdam, they decided not to wait any longer. What was the point of dating all over again if they both already knew what they wanted and what dating again would lead to. Hoseok wears a different engagement ring this time, but still has the original one back at home. It’s the perfect day, with the perfect company. Chewy walks behind them and Hoseok and Yoongi laugh as Chewy barks. “I love you.” Yoongi says in a whisper. “I love you, more.” Hoseok smiles.
They lay on the beach in the middle of the night, with their tuxedos still partly on, Yoongi recites his vows to Hoseok. “Hoseok, my love.” He starts and Hoseok turns his head to look at him, they hold hands on top of the sand and giggle. “You’re the love of my life, the light in my dark tunnel. When I met you that summer, I knew I had found my soulmate. Your laugh, your smile, your hair, your fashion, the way you eat, the way you speak and cry make me love you even more. I want to share every single night with you, I want to hold onto our memories, the way they held onto us when we forgot. You make me a better man, and I will love and cherish you for the rest of my life.” Now that they’re alone in their rented beach house for the next month, Hoseok and Yoongi feel more connected than ever. If you had told Hoseok and Yoongi two months ago that they would be married today, they would have laughed it off. But now that it’s real, they both know this is for real, this is for life. “Wait, who are you?” Hoseok asks and Yoongi laughs and slaps Hoseok’s chest. “Your husband.” He says with a smile and Hoseok giggles. “I love that, I’m saying that forever. My husband.” Hoseok says with a smile. “Min Yoongi, you are the love of my life. My soulmate, my everything. I remember when we first met, when we first kissed, and when we first made love, we were so nervous, all of those, but as I stand in front of you, I’m not nervous. I’m excited for this chapter of our lives, I’m excited for us. I’m excited and happy that we get to have this chance. I will love you and cherish you for the rest of my life. I want every single summer with you, every holiday, every midnight. I love you, baby.”
“You know, I like that you’re the jealous type. If you weren’t, I’d be a little concerned.”
Yoongi laughs and nods his head. “You can get pretty jealous too.” He says as he cuddles in bed with his husband. “I do not.” Hoseok says with a laugh. “Yes you do, admit it.” Yoongi says as he pecks Hoseok’s lips. “Okayyy, I do. I want everyone to know you’re mine.” He admits it easily. “I’m yours.” Yoongi confirms with a kiss. “I’m yours, too.”