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"Please," said Rick, edging another step back away from Prime's aura of hot malice. His back hit the workbench. He was trapped. "Diane's home. You have to go."
''Tch. Diane, Diane, Diane. I'm sick of it." Prime grabbed Rick's wrist to scoff in disgust at his wedding band. His other hand balled in Rick's shirtfront. "Diane is so boring. You're over her. Just admit it."
The garage felt smaller than usual, like all the empty air had vanished in one hot rush. Rick's heart was thudding so hard, throwing itself against his ribs like it could escape and flee this moment. Prime had captivated him so easily. Rick couldn't meet the intensity in the other's eyes. This desire plagued him. Falling for himself? It was so sickening, so narcissistic, so cowardly. His shame was like tar, thick and polluting.
"She's my wife," said Rick. It was nothing, a vapid protest, but it was all he could manage just then because Prime's hand was tightening in his shirt and he could smell his sweat.
"You're such a fucking eunuch, C-137. No drinking. No smoking. Does she even suck your dick? Your Diane keeps your balls in her pocketbook. You've forgotten who we are."
"No,” said Rick, brow creased. He pushed Prime back a step; maybe he would regain control if he could just breathe. "You want me to be who dad made us. Fuck that! I'm better than that.”
"You have so much potential. You're wasting your life in suburban hell." Again Prime crowded him in, and this time he laid his hands on Rick's hips. It felt good, like they belonged there. "What are you not getting about this? We're gods, and you're playing at being a milquetoast, model-immigrant, reformed-faggot, WASP-wannabe!”
"I'm trying to be a better man," said Rick.
"You really want a life without passion?” Prime's hand crept down to fondle Rick through his slacks and he leaned in close to purr in his ear. "I know you better than you know yourself. You think no one can love you for who you are, but I already do."
Prime nosed against Rick's jaw. He was drowning, choking on a foetid taste like murky water. Prime's breath was hot on his skin. Overcome by sudden weakness, Rick grabbed him by his jacket and held on for dear life. Now he was hard, to his eternal shame, trembling while Prime traced the shape of his growing cock.
"I—“ Rick couldn't breathe with Prime sucking on his earlobe like this.
"Just say it." Prime insisted his knee between Rick's legs, giving him something to rut against.
"Please..."
"Please what?”
Like the Fool taking that last step off the cliff, Rick spoke again.
"I need you," he said. ''I need you to love me. Do you really love me?" He had become so small, so weak.
"I love you like no one else ever could.” Prime licked a stripe along Rick's fluttering pulse. "I love the darkest, sickest parts of you."
''Liar," Rick gasped, craning his head away to bare his throat to the predator tasting his skin.
''Remember the day we killed dad?" Prime put his hand on Rick's cheek, turning him back to look him in the eye.
Rick's stomach churned. ''Of course I do."
"There was so much blood. The stink was so thick you could feel it in the air like humidity. And we got So. Hard.” Prime squeezed Rick's aching cock to illustrate his point. "We couldn't get off for months without thinking about the way his brains dripped down the wall. We're the same, C-137. I felt it, too. I know your dark secrets, and I'm the only one who could ever really love you."
It wasn't fair. All Rick had ever wanted was to be loved. Prime sang to him like a siren and now it was too late; he was doomed. Rick turned his head and their lips met, warm and fumbling. Prime cupped his cheek and claimed him. Prime's tongue tasted like gin, and soon Rick was drunk on him, dizzy with desire. He threw his arms around his neck and stirred the soft hair at the nape with his fingertips. Diane had never kissed him breathless like this. It was like Prime wanted to make love with his soul. They held each other close, breath aligning.
“I want you,” Prime panted against his lips.
“Say you love me a—ahhh!” Rick groaned when Prime grasped his hair and tilted his head back.
“Ah, ah, ah,” Prime tutted. “Don’t be such a needy little bitch.”
"But I do. I need you. I—“ Rick gasped when Prime bit his neck. "You'll leave a mark!"
"Good.” Prime softly kissed the bruise he’d left behind.
"Fuck. I don't... you can't... ohhhh..." Rick had melted away before himself like chocolate in the sun. Prime know exactly how to touch him.
"Baby?" Diane's voice, calling from inside the house, cut right through his haze.
"You have to go," said Rick, now struggling to re-form himself from putty. Was he pulling Prime in or pushing him away?
"She’s—“
"Rick?"
Thinking quickly, Rick reached over and pushed the button to open the garage door. "Go," he insisted. Finally he took his hands off of the other man.
Prime stared him down. "I’m in the garage, sweetie!' he called.
"Don't you dare," Rick growled. "Get the fuck out."
"Ooh, language," Prime smirked.
"Go! Just go!"
"Fine. Coward."
Prime turned away and walked out of the garage at the same time as Diane entered from the house. She had a pickle jar in her hands. Cocking her head, she gestured after Prime's back as he walked down the driveway.
"Who's that, baby?" she asked.
''Oh. New neighbor, down on Oak street, I think," he said, falsely dismissive. He turned towards the worktop, hoping she wouldn't notice the problem in his pants. "He just wanted to... uh...borrow my power drill."
"Oh, you should have told me. I made cookies; I'd have brought him some."
"He seemed kind of busy."
"Next time, then." She put her hand on his shoulder. ''Are you ok? You seem flushed."
"It sure gets hot out here," Rick said, trailing off in a stilted laugh. "So. What did you need me for?"
She offered the jar and a lopsided smile. "I need your big strong hands."
"Of course." Rick opened the jar with a bit of difficulty and kissed her forehead when he returned it.
"Are you almost done out here? Beth's gonna be up from her nap soon."
"Sure, baby. Just give me a minute to clean up, ok?'' Rick felt so shaky, like his stomach was vibrating. He needed a minute to breathe.
"Don't dawdle too much. Beth's excited to make play doh with you when she gets up."
"I won't, don't worry."
They kissed, chaste and familiar, and Diane crinkled her nose. ''Have you been drinking?"
He cupped his hand in front of his face and breathed, smelling the liquor Prime had left on his tongue. "Did I go overboard with the mouthwash? I really laid on the onions on my sandwich for lunch, so I thought..."
"Alright. Sorry. You know I just worry about you."
"I know. But you don't have to. I wouldn't put this family at risk again."
Liar, liar, pants on fire. Rick picked up a screwdriver just to give himself an excuse to avoid Diane’s eyes until she went back inside and left him all alone.
***
Rick arched, moaned, shaped by Prime’s hands like wet clay.
The shades were drawn, the bedroom door was locked. The house was quiet outside of the warm orb of sex around the two men. Rick's skin was slick with sweat already, though they had barely begun. Prime licked his navel, making his cock twitch in his trousers. Rick tangled his fingers in Prime's hair; if the other man pulled back he might die. They had never gotten this far before, but Rick had been dreaming of it, winding himself up for weeks. Every nerve was alight, each brush of Prime's fingers on his skin struck sparks.
"Your thighs are so soft. You've really got that dad bod going, C-137." Prime sank his teeth into Rick's delicate flesh, making him gasp.
"Shut up." Rick was so embarrassed to be compared to himself. Prime was cut, lean and strong and defined. Rick couldn't take his eyes off of him.
"I like it." Prime nuzzled into Rick's pubic hair. "You know we don't discriminate. Your body makes me hard."
"God, you can't say shit like that to me."
"You gonna come too soon? Praise kink bitch.”
Rick twisted and whined when Prime sucked one of his balls into his mouth. "I..." He wanted to protest, but Prime was right. "I'm gonna come the second I'm in your mouth," he confessed.
"You want me that bad?" Prime kissed the base of Rick's cock.
"I can't think about anything else.” Rick’s chest was heaving. He stared up at the familiar ceiling. He had lost himself somewhere along the way to this overpowering lust. “You've infected me. You've ruined my fucking life."
''Tell me more."
It was impossible to think with Prime licking his manhood in long, slow stripes, but Rick let his own tongue run away from him. "I want to come down your throat and make you choke on it. I want you to fuck me, I want your cock in me, I haven't been fucked in so long.”
“Pathetic.” Prime sucked the head of Rick’s cock into his mouth and turned his attention to it for a while, exploring the shape with his tongue like he was trying to memorize the feeling. Rick met Prime’s eyes, and he held them while he backed off again, letting himself drool. A strand of saliva connected the tip of Rick’s cock to Prime’s glistening lips. It broke in a single shimmer. “If you’re gonna be such a little bitch, I should just put a collar on you. Then at least you’d know who you fucking belong to.”
“Prime…” Rick whined.
Roughly, Prime forced his legs apart. “You don’t beg for her like this.”
“No, no, I—please, Prime, I—“
“Call me Rick.” Prime pushed Rick's knees up to his chest. "I want you to say my name while I fuck you like the needy slut you are."
"Rick," he said, trying it on for size. It felt odd to say his own name aloud, his tongue unused to it.
"Say it like you mean it."
Prime didn't give him a chance to practice again. He caressed Rick's hole with his hot, wet tongue, making every thought flee like dust spreading into the air. He groaned and spread his legs wider. Prime prised him open with his thumbs, thrusting his tongue in deeper. Saliva ran everywhere, making everything slick and warm in all the right places. Rick's cock was thrumming with need. He teased it, trying to gain control of his own body while Prime ate him out with fiery enthusiasm. It was a losing battle.
"Jesus fucking—Rick, you can't—I can't..." Rick moaned as he swiped his thumb over his slit, spreading a drop of precome. "Please!"
Prime slid two fingers inside of Rick beside his tongue, touching him deeper than before. There was no respite, and no relief. All Rick could think was more.
"It's not enough. I need your dick in me, please, baby, please you... " He took a shuddering breath, hand speeding up as he lost control. He needed to come. “Fuck, look what you do to me."
Rick could sense Prime's reluctance to stop, but he slowed anyway until he was giving a last few caresses and pulling away. Prime sat back on his haunches and busied himself with his fly. His chin was covered in saliva, his skin was mottled pink from exertion. “You look good, baby. Turn over. Get that ass up in the air for me.”
''Thank you," Rick groaned.
He got tangled in the sheets turning onto his stomach. Prime knelt behind him, ran his hand up his spine. Rick shivered; the room suddenly felt so cold with Prime's warm hand on his skin. He felt the hot head of his cock nestle against his hole. He spat and wet his dick.
"Bite the pillow, baby," Prime soothed him. "It's going all the way in."
Rick closed his eyes and tried to breathe through his nose. He wrapped his arms around the pillow. "Do it. Put your cock in me."
''Ooh, that's right. Beg for it."
Pushing back against Prime, Rick moaned. The touches just on the edge of satisfaction were driving him insane. "Please, I need it.".
"More." Prime rubbed the head back and forth over Rick's hole.
"Stop teasing.” Rick's hips twisted. ''I need you to fuck me as hard as you can.''
“That's it. Good little slut."
Then Prime was inside him in one long, searing stretch, and Rick keened like a madman the whole time. Everything was slick with saliva. The sensation was overwhelming and Rick quickly forgot about everything but Prime's cock inside of him, splitting him in two. It hurt so good. Prime clutched him by the hair and pushed his face down into the bed.
"Take a deep breath, C-137," Prime seethed. "Does it smell like her?”
Rick sobbed once into the sheets. "Yes."
"Do you like getting fucked like a little bitch in your marital bed?" Rick wailed, and Prime tightened his grip. He put more power into the roll of his hips. "Tonight when she's sleeping right here you'll remember how you were for me.”
"Please,” Rick begged. "I'm sorry." He didn't even know what he meant, but he said it over and over. I'm sorry, he sobbed with the familiar scent of roses all around him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
"Useless coward," said Prime. “Fuck you C-137.”
''Fuck me!" Rick answered.
"That all you're good for? Is that it, baby?" Prime's hands were rough on Rick’s body while he held him down and fucked him hard. “You’re pathetic. But you feel. So. Good around my cock.”
“Don’t stop!”
“I’ll never stop." Prime's breaths were quick and choppy, in time with his thrusting. He held Rick down to the bed, hands braced on his back. "God, it's better than I thought it'd be."
"It is! Oh, Rick, yes yes yes yes yes..."
There was no going back from here. Choirs were singing inside of him, holy music filling his soul. It felt so good, the stretch too much, the angle perfect for his prostate. He felt used and dirty and loved and ecstatic. More, he begged. More, more! Prime snarled and wrapped his hand around Rick's throat. The squeeze rapidly focused Rick's attention, made it diamond sharp. He arched and pushed back against Prime. Harder! Deeper! It was like he had never been touched before, like he was a virgin born anew. His thighs quaked.
"I know, baby," said Prime, and he squeezed Rick's throat harder. "Fucking your wife doesn't compare, does it, you little maricón? You need a big strong man."
"Yes!" Rick managed to gasp.
Prime released his neck and stroked his side. "You like how your own fat cock feels inside you?"
"Yes!"
“So good for me, such a perfect slut. You know how to really take it, baby."
“I’ll take it all for you!" He could feel every inch, in and out.
"I know you will.“ Prime pushed his fingers into Rick's mouth to toy with his tongue. "You're my pretty little plaything. C-137. My toy."
"Mmn!" Rick drooled around Prime's fingers.
This was everything he wanted deep down in his heart. He needed this obsessive heat. He felt more wanted than he ever had before. What Prime could give him, no one else could. The pleasure he was fucking into him was incomparable. Clumsy, he reached between his legs to jerk himself off. He felt his body tighten around Prime, heard him groan in pleasure.
"I'm gonna watch my come drip out of your abused little hole," said Prime.
“Ohh, yes, yes, come in me!" Rick was eager to feel it. He imagined Prime's cock thickening and pulsing inside of him, filling him until it all spilled over and dripped down his balls. The thought was inspiring: Rick could feel the inevitability of his approaching orgasm.
"You want that?" Prime gripped him by the hair and pulled his head back, making him cry out sharply. "You needy bitch, you better beg me."
"Please, Rick I need it so bad. I wanna feel it..." Rick trailed off in a whine. He fisted his dick faster. ''I'm so close!"
''That's right, baby. Show me. Show daddy how you do it." Prime sounded wolfish, greedy.
“I'm....hnnnn...so close!”
"I said now!” Prime growled, thrusting sharply to drive home his point.
“I’m—“
Rick's back arched, his body tightened. His balls drew up tight; the moment of ecstasy arrived. He gasped and twitched his way through a climax that wouldn't stop. He had dissolved at the edges and now lay helpless in the grip of it. All the air went out of him like oxygen consumed by a sudden blaze. He spilled onto the sheets in strong pulses. It left him shaking, spent.
Prime pulled out and Rick moaned out his objection to his sudden emptiness, but he needn't have worried. He was pushed onto his back. Prime looked good though Rick's blurred vision, soft and anointed by lamplight. While Rick watched him, he spit and rubbed it on his dick, and before Rick had collected himself he pushed back inside. He pushed Rick's knees up to his chest and then he was fucking his overly sensitive hole, breath shaking as he chased his own peak.
"Yeah, daddy, " Rick said, and oh, the thrill! He reached out weakly to touch Prime's hand where his fingers were biting into his flesh. "You're giving it to me so good."
"Ooh, C-137. I like that." Prime laid his head back and groaned. ''Fuck, you feel so good. I'm close, baby."
“Come inside me." Rick begged, and squeezed Prime's hand. He rushed on in a low tone. "Make me yours, Rick."
Prime moaned in triumph and bore down as hard as he could. Rick felt the glide turn slick. Heat filled him, squelched out of him with obscene, wet sounds. Prime fucked him through it, breath heaving. It was a glorious sight, the bare honesty of Prime's ecstatic expression. Rick wondered if his brow knit like that, too, when he came. Did his lips part that prettily? Did his eyes light up that way?
Satisfied, Rick laid his head back and gazed up at the ceiling, floating on contentment like a calm sea. Prime slowed, stopped, chased his breath. When he had caught it, he pulled out, stopping to take a long appreciative look at Rick's dripping hole. He laid down beside Rick and heaved a contented sigh of his own. They found each others' hands and laced their fingers together as naturally as if they'd done it thousands of times. Prime laid his cheek on Rick's chest. Rick smiled and glanced his fingertips over Prime's damp hair and smiled.
"I love you, baby," Prime murmured.
"I love you," Rick answered. "I know we get so sleepy. You can close your eyes for a while."
"When will she be back?"
"Couple of hours. Don't worry." Rick felt such warmth unfolding inside him. "I want to watch you sleep."
Prime snorted. "You're so gay," he said, voice slow and stretched like taffy.
“What? Me? Never." Rick kissed the crown of his head. "Sleep."
''Fine," Prime yawned. He snuggled in tighter and Rick felt the tension go out of him. “Just five minutes.”
While Prime slept Rick watched the shadows creep across the wall as the afternoon wilted and passed. He was utterly at peace with Prime in his arms. This was so right, this love affair consuming them both. Destiny had come for him wearing his own face. Here, in the quiet he knew with utter assurance that he had found his soulmate. He would only be able to steal moments with the man he loved, so he made himself memorize this feeling so that this moment would keep him warm at night.
Later, when it was evening-dim, Rick saw headlights at the end of the neighborhood. It was time. He nudged Prime's shoulder.
"Wake up, baby," he murmured.
"Hnn..." Prime tried to slap his hand away.
"Come on. Grab your clothes.”
''Fuck, did I really fall asleep?” Prime ran his hand down his face and groaned.
"Yeah. Now it's time to go home." Rick nudged Prime to sit up. He picked Prime's portal gun off of the nightstand and turned it to the preset simply labeled 'home.'
“Yeah, ok.” Prime had his clothes in a bundle in his arms. He teetered to his feet. "Kiss," he grunted, making a beckoning gesture.
Smiling, Rick stood and indulged him. His lips were so soft and warm. Rick let the kiss linger. Then, with great reluctance, he stepped back and shot a portal in the air with Prime’s portal gun.
"Sunday morning?" Prime asked, taking the device back.
"Yeah. I'll see you then."
Prime smiled blearily. "Sunday, then."
Prime left, and when the green light faded Rick was alone. He bent wearily and stepped into his pants. He was already stripping the bed when he heard the front door open. There was spunk all over the sheets; he needed to get them in the wash.
***
The guilt was making him sick.
Prime helped. Prime held him and kissed him. They fucked in the car on country roads at night, they fucked in a bar bathroom on Zenub Alpha, they fucked in the house. Prime whispered filth and love to him in a neverending stream, enthralling him more and more each day. He was losing himself, and he knew it, but he didn’t want it to ever stop.
Now Rick was standing over the workbench, looking down at the page of slapdash equations he had spent all day on under Prime’s hands-on mentorship. His lover was draped over him like a cloak, kissing his ear while he stared down at the numbers.
“You’re so close, baby,” Prime hummed to him. He ran his hand down his stomach and worked his fingertips under the waistband of Rick’s pants.
“You’re distracting me,” Rick said, fighting to keep his voice even.
“I’m inspiring you.” Prime’s breath was hot on Rick’s neck. He popped his fly open. “Focus. You can do it.”
Prime knew exactly how he liked to be touched, and he teased him hard with gradual strokes. Rick let his head hang, gasping at every pulse of desire that echoed through him. “Stop,” he said, and laid his hand on Prime’s wrist.
“No,” came the answer. Prime shook him off and rolled the head between his fingers. “Quit fucking around.” He let his lips brush his skin. “We both know you can do this.”
“I…” Rick shuddered, swallowed.
“I did it. Alone.”
“Fuck you.”
“Come on, C-137,” Prime cooed. “You could shred General Relativity in your fingers if you wanted to. You’re the Infinite Rick. You’re so close.”
Rick’s eyes were blurring, his legs shaking as he tried his hardest to do what he was told. While he whimpered and twitched, his mind followed grooves he had been wearing for weeks. It felt like drifting down and down through the rabbit hole to Wonderland, floating helpless in the midst of overwhelming strangeness. Through the haze of sex, the mystery still unfolded itself all around him, calling to him. The mathematics of the universe sang to him the music of the spheres. It drowned out the sound of his own shaking breaths. He closed his eyes and let his thoughts drift. He rode the irresistible wave of pleasure that Prime was stroking into his skin.
There it was.
Floating towards him on a gentle tide and glowing golden; the Answer! The mathematical twist that stood between him and the future! The fruit of his ambition! He reached out and snatched up his pen. He could feel Prime’s eyes following the equations that he was barely managing to scrawl fast enough.
“Carry the three…add a two…” Rick muttered to himself. He felt true mania overcome him. “I got it!”
“Yes!”
“I fucking got it!”
Prime gripped him just the way he liked and pushed his head down onto the table. Rick moaned, overwhelmed by the sudden fierce frenzy. He had been so close already, and the orgasm building inside of him already felt immense.
“That’s right, baby, come for me,” Prime seethed.
“I—“
“Rick?” Diane’s voice carried from inside the house.
Panic set in, but Prime held Rick down. He didn’t let up a bit, driving ecstasy into Rick’s willing body. Rick’s eyes darted up, and he could see that there was fire inside of his lover now.
“No,” he begged.
“Out here, sugar!” Prime called back. He lowered his voice and looked down. “Better hurry up, baby.”
“I—“
Prime pulled out his last trick, and he wrung an orgasm out of Rick that felt profound in its bluntness. It gripped him and squeezed the air out of his lungs. His muscles tightened, his mind emptied. His seed flowed over Prime’s hand and turned everything slick. Rick was left shaking, blinded by a clear white glow.
Just before the door opened, Rick collapsed to the floor. He pushed himself into the corner where the cabinets formed an L, hiding himself from view. He couldn’t catch his breath as he struggled to stuff himself back in his pants—quietly, quietly. The squeaky hinge heralded his wife’s arrival, and from this angle Rick could only barely see the corner of his Prime’s false smile.
“Rick? I heard shouting,” said Diane.
Prime stepped around the cabinets and out of Rick’s sight. “Sorry,” he said, “I dropped something on my toe.”
“Are you ok?”
From here, out of sight, Rick heard something different in Diane’s voice. She sounded so weary. When he looked at her, he always saw her glowing with an inner light. Now he wondered if that was at all accurate. Maybe he was missing dark circles and split ends. Maybe he was lying to himself. His stomach churned sickly. Inside he felt huge, like he contained multitudes. He had just defeated all the laws of space time. The ignominy of his current situation felt profound in the face of it. While his soul hummed with ambitious pride, he also held himself tightly and shuddered in his shame. He had to bite down on his tongue hard to keep in a sob.
"I'd be better if I got a little kiss," Prime wheedled, and Rick's blood turned icy.
There was a pause, a quiet that went on for too many heartbeats.
"Rick," Diane giggled, and Rick could practically hear her blush. "Beth could come out here."
"C;mon, sugar, let loose."
"I..." again she laughed, a beautiful lilting sound. "What's gotten into you?"
"I'm just having a good day. But ok. We’ll pick this back up tonight."
Rick heard a swat, and Diane squealed happily.
"Alright, you dirty bear. I'll hold you to that." There was an audible kiss. "I'm so glad you're doing better. You really stepped up again for me and Beth."
"I love you both. You both deserve better than that guy who 1 used to be."
Once again guilt boiled in Rick's gut, acid rising up his esophagus. Why was Prime torturing him? He closed his eyes and tried to breathe steadily. This wasn't right, none of this was right. And yet, when he put his hand to his chest to feel his racing heart, he knew with certainty that he wasn't ready to stop.
***
Rick sat across the table from his lover and wondered where, exactly, he had gone wrong. These things were easier to think about now that his brain had been lubricated by two glasses of Prime’s very fine alien whiskey. It was getting late, but Diane wasn’t coming home tonight, so Rick had decided he could have a little drink. Just one. Well, just a few. He wasn't really falling off the wagon. He was just relaxing this one time. Relaxing and losing himself in thought.
“What happened with your Diane?” Rick asked. He tipped the last mouthful of liquor into his mouth and crunched on an ice cube. “You never talk about her.”
“Why would I? She’s boring as fuck.” Prime topped off his rocks glass. Rick wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted more, but since he had it now he would be drinking it.
“Are you married?”
“Fuck no.”
“Were you married?”
“You think I agreed to marry someone?”
Rick shrugged one shoulder. “I did. Aren’t we both The Infinite Rick?”
“We’re not the same person. Obviously. It’s more like…” Prime looked down at his glass, examining the amber liquid in the light. “It’s like quantum entanglement. We’re linked together by the silent laws of the cosmos, but we’re billions of miles apart dealing with local conditions in the meantime.”
Rick liked that. He imagined a light inside of him glowing, and far far away Prime shining just the same.
"Ok, fair, but..." Rick drank from his glass to steady his breath. "You have a Diane."
"I went out with Diane for a while. She's cute; even I can admit that. But then she got pregnant, and no thanks. Not for me."
“I thought so, too. I nearly drank myself to death while she was pregnant.” Rick sighed, leaned back in his chair. He nudged listlessly at his glass. He couldn’t meet Prime’s eyes. “Then I was in the delivery room when Beth was born and…everything changed.”
“Ugh, what sentimental bullshit.” Prime drained the dregs from his glass. Rick watched his Adam’s apple bob, and it made him feel warm inside.
“Don’t tell me what I feel.” Rick had meant to sound stern, but his mouth had gone dry. He put his glass to his lips again. He needed to calm down.
“You’re a sociopath, C-137. Maybe you convinced yourself that you felt some kind of golden moment when your white-bread wife pushed out your obnoxious daughter, but we both know better.”
“You know what? Fuck you. You can’t talk to me like that in my own fucking house.” Shame suffused him. The angrier he grew, the more he wanted Prime to throw him down on the table and ravish him. His lungs felt outside of his control.
"It's not 'your house,' though, is it?" Prime's voice grew viper soft, and his eyes glinted with hard mischief. "It's Diane's house. If it weren't for her inheritance you'd still be living in that one bedroom on Clearwater."
"I’m not fucking around. You need to—“
"Please, fucking spare me the theatrics. Boohoo, I feel emasculated. Too planetary, C-137.”
"You're the one who brought it up!"
"Shh, keep your voice down." Prime smiled like a shark. "Beth is sleeping."
''Fuck you," Rick snapped. "Just...just fuck you."
"So eloquent. You really got me right in the feels." Prime laid his palm on his chest in mock pain.
''NASA's gonna call me back any day now. I can fucking provide for my family."
"NASA is below you. You're a god, C-137. I'm getting pretty tired of explaining it to you." Prime got up and rounded the table to perch on its edge right beside Rick. He reached out and caressed Rick's cheek. "You have so much potential, baby.”
Despite himself, Rick leaned into the touch. "Why do you see something that I don't? I don't want to be a god. I just want—“
"Bullshit." Prime ran the pad of his thumb over Rick's cheekbone. "You're hungry for more, I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me."
“I’m just horny; it’s not that deep.”
Rick had to remind himself of that over and over throughout his days. It was bad enough that he was cheating, but in his clearer moments he reassured himself that it was only for the sex. Prime was bringing the spark back to his life, and Rick understood why; he just couldn’t live without dick, that was all, and now that he was getting dick then things would fall back into place with Diane. It wasn’t his fault he was too queer for marriage. He just needed it out of his system so that he could be a better husband to her. He would be the Rick she deserved. He tried not to think about the taste of whiskey in his mouth.
“You sing a different tune between the sheets, baby.”
“A guy will say anything when his balls need emptying.”
“You keep thinking you can lie to me the way you lie to yourself.” Suddenly Prime’s grip on his jaw grew cruel. “I’m not gonna wait around forever for you to get your head out of your ass, C-137.”
Rick reached out and put his arms around Prime’s neck and pulled him close. “Don’t be like that, baby,” he said. Their lips slotted together, easy as breathing. Prime grabbed his hair and tilted his head back. The pain was exquisite.
“I mean it. Someday I’m gonna leave you if you won’t get your shit together and come with me.”
Headlights flickered in through the front window as a car pulled into the driveway. Rick’s eyes widened. Diane was supposed to be at her sister’s all night, but apparently she was back early.
“Go,” he said, pleading with Prime already. “Please, baby, you have to go.”
“You know what? Fuck you, too,” said Prime. He pushed away from Rick in disgust and stood up.
“It’s not like that.” Rick rose to his feet too quickly. His stomach shifted. His legs swayed beneath him. Fuck, he was too drunk. “I don’t want you to—but she—fuck, I’m gonna puke.” He slapped his hand over his mouth.
“Hope she makes you clean it up, dickbag,” Prime muttered. He took out his portal gun and, in an instant, he was gone.
Rick doubled in on himself and vomited in sick heaves. The door to the garage opened before his stomach was empty, and he heard Diane’s heels tak, tak across the floor until she was at his side.
“Baby?” she asked, hurrying to his side.
Her alarm tickled something Pavlovian in him; he had to fix it, whatever she was upset about. It was his job to put her at ease. He tried to straighten up and sat heavily back into his seat instead. There was puke on his pants, on his socks, all over the floor. His hand was shaking when he wiped his mouth on the back of his wrist.
“Fuck,” he said. He had to get himself together. “Diane, I’m so—“
She stepped up to his side again in two short, businesslike strides. He thought for a moment that she was going to slap him, but she reached past him instead and plucked his glass up from the table. Eyes ablaze, she held it to her nose.
“Whiskey?” she demanded, her voice low and quivering with anger. “Whiskey, Rick?”
“I can explain.” He had nothing, but he had to try. His mind went whirling, looking for any kind of excuse, any lie that could make this better.
“You’re drunk! No, you’re wasted!” She slammed the glass back down and took a fuming step back. “With Beth in the house!”
"It's fine, she's asleep.” Rick wasn't prepared for the browbeating she was warming up to. His head was aching, his throat raw from the stomach acid he had just brought up.
"What if she woke up? What if she needed to go to the hospital?" Diane's voice was turning shrill, taut with panic. She put her hand to her forehead. "Have you even checked on her?"
"It's fine. Don't worry, Diane. You're worked up about nothing." It sounded lame even to him, but it was all he had.
"About nothing?! Nothing?! You're an alcoholic, Rick, and you—“
"It's just one drink, ok? Jesus. I'm an adult, Diane, I can—“
"You threw up on the kitchen floor! That's not ‘one drink!’ Look at the bottle—“ Diane turned her attention and froze. Suddenly the color drained from her face. "There are two glasses."
Oh shit.
“Why are there two glasses, Rick?"
Rick's drunken brain spun out of control, not catching on anything. What lie could he even tell? He gaped at her, and as his silence stretched out he watched her heart crumble to dust in her chest.
"It's not like that, baby," he said, voice pale. He had just tried to placate Prime the same way. He was a traitor on all sides, and a traitor to himself. He was worthless.
"Then what's it like?" She watched him, trying to hold back her tears. He could feel seconds passing, grains of sand through the hourglass slowly burying him. "Fine, you know what? I'm not doing this."
Diane stepped past him, careful of the mess on the floor. He rose again to follow her, unsteady on his feet. "Baby, please."
"No. Nuh uh. I'm taking Beth and going back to my sister's."
"You don't have to—“
"Use the time to think about what you really want, here."
They arrived at Beth's door. In the light from the hallway he could see her, blissful in her dreams. Her fluffy blonde hair was fanned out across the pillow, her arms around her beloved teddy. Rick had betrayed her, most of all, and he felt sick all over again. He only had himself to blame, here. It wasn’t just his own life he was ruining. Watching his wife gently wake his daughter from sleep, eavesdropping on this tender moment—it was too much. He turned away and, with shame at his back like wind in his sails, he went back to the kitchen. There was a mess to clean up.
***
It had been weeks since that night, and Rick was unraveling. Prime hadn't shown his face since Rick kicked him out, and Diane hadn't so much as smiled at him. Trying to hold onto both of them had cost Rick so dearly. He grasped them both like a fistful of water, and now he was watching it all trickle out between his fingers. He was bereft. He was lonely. He was merely counting down his heartbeats until he lost everything.
It was 2:43 in the morning, and once again Rick was lying awake in the belly of his bedroom, listening to the familiar sound of his wife's slumbering breaths. Guilt sat sour in his stomach. Finally, he was on the edge of sleep. Moment by moment he let the greyness permeate him, let it smother his thoughts gradually.
Then came a crash from the living room, a thunk and rattle of furniture disturbed. Rick's eyes flew open, his mind focused sharply. Before his conscious mind caught up, he rolled smoothly out of bed in nothing but his boxers and stalked from their room, heart in his throat. A burglar? Or something worse?
At the corner at the end of the hall, Rick nearly ran face first into Prime. The man slumped to the side immediately, shoulder to the wall, sinking into himself. He looked long at Rick through hazy, empty eyes. The air was thick between them, full of their quiet breaths. Prime belched, his chest tightened. He gagged but nothing came up.
Rick was released from the spell suddenly. He tried to backpedal, but Prime lunged forward and snatched him up by the arm. The man’s long fingers were powerful, and he held Rick so tightly. Momentum carried them together, and Rick’s back hit the wall. Prime’s breath smelled of something not quite familiar, something sweet and smoky layered beneath the sharp stink of scotch. His eyes had turned luminous, aglow in the dark like moonstones.
“You can’t be here,” said Rick. He was trapped, pinned by Prime’s wild gaze. He could barely move enough to keep breath in his lungs.
“Come with me. Come with me.” Prime clasped Rick’s face between his hands. He smoothed the rough pad of his thumb over his cheek. The touch felt so tender despite his obvious intoxication, like his body could be trusted to touch Rick gently without thought.
“I can’t,” said Rick.
“Like fuck you fucking can’t,” Prime slurred. His brow furrowed. “You can do anything you want. Fucking…fucking coward!”
“Keep your voice down,” Rick hissed. “I told you already, I—“
“Shut up.”
Prime crowded in, pressing his chest to Rick’s. There was a momentary struggle and then Prime’s tongue was in Rick’s mouth and there was nothing he could do but cling to his lover like a rock against the crushing force of the tide. Everything else faded away. Rick’s world shrank. Desperately he clutched at Prime. He couldn’t get him close enough. His clothes were rough in Rick’s fists. The moment felt so real, much more than his regular, boring life ever had. He was flushed with heat. Their kiss was everything he had ever needed, it was his own completion made manifest. He wanted to die.
"Tell me you love me," Prime said, his breath hot against Rick's teeth.
"I...”
"Say it. Say it, you faithless piece of shit." Prime’s fingers bit into Rick's arms.
"I love you. I do. I—“
“Daddy?” Beth’s tiny voice came from behind Prime. She sounded so frightened.
No! Rick struggled to break free but Prime held tight and roughly took his lips again. Rick's heart dropped heavily to weigh down his diaphragm. Tears burned his eyes. Prime kissed him with such ferocity. Rick's empty mind flooded with panic. He pushed as hard as he could and sent Prime staggering back. The man's eyes flashed with fury; Rick had never felt such terror. Looking into his own eyes, Rick realized that Prime had been telling him the truth all along; they both had the same sickness deep inside of them. He saw the madness coiled inside of him.
Prime stepped forward again, drew back his hand and slapped Rick as hard as he could. Beth wailed a piercing screech. Rick's face felt hot and numb all at once. His lip was swelling already. He turned to gather his daughter in his arms, and shushed her as gently as he could while his mind spun out of control completely.
"Fuck you," Prime spat.
"What..." Diane's voice joined them in the cramped hallway.
Rick didn't want to look up, but his eyes followed Beth as she ran to her mother's side. Diane was pale in the darkness, like the faint gloaming of a ghost. Even in the dark he could see how stricken she was.
Prime sneered at her. “You want him? You can have him. I quit."
"Wait!" Prime was already turning away, but Rick grabbed at his sleeve.
"I told you to make a choice, C-137. I told you I wouldn't wait forever."
Possessed by a spirit of desperation, Rick clung to his lover. He had thought his heart was already broken, but now he could see the foolishness of his naivete. He had never felt such pain. “You can't leave me!"
"Too late."
"I'm going to call the police," Diane said. Rick scarcely heard her.
"Don't bother. I'm leaving," said Prime.
With both hands, Rick pulled Prime closer. He kissed him with all the passion of his fear. Prime's tongue was sweet and bitter, and so warm and soft. For a moment Prime pressed back into it. Time hung suspended.
And then it was over. Prime pulled away. Rick recognized the quiet, muted pain in his lover's eyes. He could feel Prime’s ardor and his anguish.
"Please," Rick begged, desires carried on his breathy whisper.
“You will regret this. I promise."
"Please," Rick tried again.
"Goodbye," said Prime.
"Yes, I'm at 425 Elm street," Diane was saying into the phone, somewhere far away. "There's an intruder in my house."
Rick fell back against the wall when Prime conjured his portal. He was too cowardly to follow his lover through. Prime was gone. Rick had lost him. He collapsed in on himself to cry. His whole body shook with it.
It didn't matter to Rick how long he had lost himself in his weeping until he had cried every last tear from his broken heart. When he turned his face up to regard his wife, he lost control all over again. She was splotchy; she had been crying, too. The wrath on her face stunned him into a silence that stretched slowly to swallow his heartbeats. She threw a duffel bag at him.
"Get out,” she said.
So he did.
***
For two weeks Rick had been sleeping on a park bench. The bar had become his second home, and whiskey was the mana from heaven sustaining his life. He stank. His patchy beard was coming in. His guts were churning all day every day. Most of his clothes now had vomit on them. Yet he knew he hadn't even begun to punish himself enough.
Now, drunk and miserable, he stood on his own doorstep and knocked on the front door. Diane would take him back. She had to. He would do it right this time, he would get sober and lick her boots every day until she trusted him again. Then they would have their happily ever after. He was so sure of it.
After three rings of the doorbell, still no one had answered, although the car was in the driveway. He tried the knob and it turned. He felt vague unease, barely seen below a thick layer of drunkenness. Still, this was what he had come for. He let himself in. No time to chicken out now.
"Diane?" he called, her name heavy on his drunken tongue like a mouthful of marbles. "Diane?"
The bedrooms were empty. The kitchen was silent. He could almost hear his own heartbeat below the hum of the refrigerator. Rick's sense of dread slowly bloomed, the petals thick, the scent cloying. He opened the door to the garage, just in time to see Prime’s back one last time as he disappeared through the portal.
Rick, said Diane, eyes gone wide. Beth frowned. Her lips parted to ask a question that never came.