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Jisung stared at the text message sent by his boyfriend. It was late at night, the streetlights had turned on, and Jisung was sitting on a bench in a random park. His phone illuminated his tan face as he read it.
I’m coming to pick you up, don’t be mad… I love you <3
So, of course, he was mad! He’d been waiting on Minho for hours to meet him. Minho didn’t even care to type out a simple excuse for being late. This has been going on for weeks now. Every time Jisung had to stay out late to work on something for a project, Minho showed up late. They have been together for 3 years now, and it seems like Minho is getting more careless with their relationship. Jisung is deep in thought when he sees headlights pulling up to him.
“Baby, I’m sorry!” Minho stuck his head out the window, waving to Jisung. He knew Jisung was mad at him, but he didn’t seem bothered. His face was lit up with a wide grin, and his eyes were identical to a moon’s crescent. Jisung grimaced at the sight, making his way to the passenger seat of the black car.
“If you’re sorry maybe you could, I don’t know, stop being late every time?” Jisung glared at Minho with fierce eyes. “And don’t look so happy to make me mad.” Minho laughed at Jisung. Jisung wasn’t joking, though. It’s happened too much and Jisung is sick of it. Every time he tells Minho about something that bothers him, he gets him laughing in his face instead. It made him feel stupid for even saying anything.
Jisung knows, though, that he made a promise to Minho. When they had first gotten together, Jisung swore he would always stay beside Minho and help him grow as a person. Minho never made him any promises, he said he’d be too likely to even forget he made it. That was the first time Jisung could feel a knife stab into his chest. Every time Minho couldn’t match up Jisung’s feelings, laughed off his words, or made him feel less of a person; Jisung could feel the knife cut deeper and deeper, twisting around and plunging him farther into misery. Minho didn’t know this, no matter how many times Jisung tried to bring it up, it was pushed aside for a different time.
Before he knew it, they had made it back to their apartment. He stepped out before Minho, feeling the gravel crunch under his sneakers as he rushed to get inside the apartment. Once he made it inside, he sighed in relief.
“It’s cold out, huh?” He could hear Minho shuffling behind him. Jisung rolled his eyes at the question, the answer was so obvious.
“If you knew that, you shouldn’t have left me out there.”
“I know, I know.” Minho sighed, “I’ve been busy these past few weeks, I swear I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”
Minho moved past Jisung in a swift motion, making his way to the kitchen to prepare dinner for them. Jisung watched as he did so, still angry. He went to their bedroom to prepare his pajamas, but he noticed something. Their bed was made? Minho had left before Jisung this morning, and Jisung hadn’t made it himself, he was in a rush to leave. Maybe Minho came back, but it's still weird. Shrugging it off, Jisung continued with his nightly routine, preparing his pajamas and heading into the shower.
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Jisung came out of the shower, drying his hair with a towel. The food was sitting on the kitchen counter. He wasn’t hungry, so he ignored it and went to look for Minho. He wasn’t in the living room, he wasn’t in their bedroom, he wasn’t washing clothes. His shoes are still at the door, and so is his coat, so where could he be?
Jisung was about to shout for the other before he heard talking coming from the balcony. He knew it had to be Minho, but there was a different voice as well. He made his way to the balcony door, seeing it was slightly cracked. He almost opened it and asked for Minho, before he heard the strange voice on the other end. Minho had speaker mode on, a habit he picked up from Jisung.
“Does Jisung know?” The woman asked, “When will you tell him, Minho?” Her voice was sweet, but to Jisung it stung like poison. Know what? What was Minho hiding? The more Jisung thought of what he heard, the more his head seemed to spiral. This must be why Minho is late more often, was he cheating on Jisung? Jisung, who promised to stay by his side?
He rushed away from the door, sliding it all the way shut on accident. He could Minho call for him as he ran to their bedroom, locking the door. He could feel tears well up in his eyes. His mouth quivered as he tried to hold in his sobs but to no avail. He didn’t care if Minho heard him, he doesn’t care anymore. He heard that people can fall out of love instantaneously, he didn’t know it would happen to him one day. Once he stood up, he looked around the room through blurry tears. Photos of them are plastered on the walls. He ripped each one off, screaming and crying as memories flooded his head.
Minho pounded on the door, asking Jisung to come out. Jisung tried to ignore it, but Minho’s voice flooded his head as he continued. Sniffling, he unlocked the bedroom door, opening it up to Minho.
“Are you okay–”
“Are you cheating on me, Minho?”
Minho stared at Jisung, shocked. Jisung expected Minho to fess up to him, but he didn’t. Once again, he was met with laughter. Minho was laughing at him. Really? He must feel no shame at all. Jisung bit his lips, trying to hold back from screaming at his boyfriend.
“You’ve misunderstood, baby, I would never cheat on you,” Minho laughed again, “I know you’re angry from earlier… but that was my friend.” Minho looked amused. It infuriated Jisung, he couldn’t hold back his anger anymore. He knew he had to break his promise. It was stupid anyways, he shouldn’t have made it in the first place. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it.
“I– I misunderstood?” Jisung choked on his words, trying not to break down again. He pushed Minho back with his finger, yelling at him. “What are you hiding from me, why are you talking with some girl about me, why have you been more careless every day?!”
“Honey…”
“Don’t call me that!” Minho’s eyes widened, his forehead creasing from surprise. Jisung was furious this time, he wouldn’t listen to him.
“You’ve never shared your feeling with me! Have you ever cared about how I felt, you always laugh off anything I tell you!”
“No, I just– I try to–”
“Just then! You were laughing at me just then, too!” Jisung could feel his body begin to shake from his overwhelming emotions, but he just couldn’t stop. Tears and snot were flowing down, he was sure he looks like a mess.
“We’ve been together for three years but not once have you ever made me feel loved! I made a promise to you, but you couldn’t even do the same for me! I don’t even know why I’ve loved you for so long, am I just trying to kill myself?”
Minho stared at Jisung. He was speechless. He tried to grab onto Jisung’s shoulder, but his hands were pushed away. Everything he tried to say, he was interrupted. There was no stopping Jisung this time, he knew it.
“I can’t do this anymore, I’m done– we’re done.” Jisung pushed Minho away one last time and ran back into the bedroom. He changed his clothes and packed his bags, he couldn’t stay here anymore. He knew he should hear Minho out, maybe he is misunderstanding, maybe he was being reckless. Finished packing, he moved towards the door to put his shoes and coat on, before feeling slender hands wrap around his wrist.
Minho stared at Jisung with tears in his eyes. His lips quivered the same as Jisungs, and silent, choked sobs spilled out his mouth. His hands tightened, making Jisung wince in pain. Seeing he hurt him, he loosed his grip and apologized quickly, before clearing his throat.
“Please, please don’t leave me, I love you so much I can’t let you go, Jisung… will you listen to me?” Minho rushed his words, trying his best not to get interrupted. Jisung, however, didn't care. “There's something I can't tell you, but I’ll change, I swear, I’ll open up to you and make a hundred promises, just–” Minho choked on his sobs once more, “stay.” Jisung felt the knife in his heart plunge the deepest it could’ve, and he wanted to pull it out, this was the only way.
“Every time I was with you I just felt alone– I needed you, Minho, but you were never there. Get off me.” Jisung pulled his wrist out of Minho’s big hands, turning away and grabbing his coat. “I can’t do this anymore. Whatever you can't tell me about doesn't matter, I’m breaking up with you.” After saying those words, Jisung left the apartment, leaving only memories behind him. He knows he had misunderstood the conversation between the girl and Minho, that Minho must have been planning something, but there was no use of those sweet gestures that could’ve been given years ago. Though Jisung made a promise, there was no use in keeping it anymore.
Minho sat at the door. He could hear his breath echo in his ears and Jisung’s voice rung in his head. He should’ve opened up to Jisung, should’ve listened to him. He told Jisung he couldn't make any promises, but he did in secret. He promised that he would do everything he can to keep Jisung by his side. Every time Jisung made a complaint, Minho tried to fix it without him knowing. The only person that’s made him happy, he lost. He lost Jisung because he couldn’t deal with his feelings… because he didn’t know how to tell him the burden he's been holding on to since before he met him. It was all his fault.
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Jisung sat at the small Café, talking with his best friend, Kim Seungmin. It’s been 5 years since he broke up with Minho, and he’s been trying to live his best life. Even though he still has dreams about them together, he ignores them. He did what he had to, and he wasn’t willing to go back. Seungmin waved for a waiter to serve them after deciding what they wanted to eat. Jisung folds the menus, putting them at the edge of the table.
“How may I help you?” Jisung recognizes the voice. He looks up with furrowed eyebrows and is met with a sorrowful sight. His ex-boyfriend, Lee Minho, is serving them. He stares at the older but gets no recognition from him. Has he forgotten about Jisung? Jisung can feel his heartache at the sight of his old lover. Seungmin asks if he’s okay, but he brushes him off. He makes eye contact with Minho, and Minho smiles, plunging another knife into his old wound.