Chapter Text
3:18 pm
[Gojo Satoru created a group message with 5 others!]
[Gojo Satoru changed the group name to ‘bwallerzzz’.]
Shoko: gojo wtf
Satoru: tf u mean ‘wtf’
Satoru: its a big day for our boy
Suguru: :p
Shoko: oh right
Shoko: happy prison release day criminal
Suguru: Damn
Suguru: Calling me names on my big day</3
Satoru: can’t believe you shoko</3
Utahime: You two are a fucking disease
Satoru: do you need help removing the stick up your ass 🥺🥺🥺
Utahime: Kys‼️
Nanami: Why am I here
Satoru: bc you’re invited to suguru’s Prison Release party!!!
Satoru: byob unless you’re suguru getou
Shoko: u two make me homophobic
Satoru: ok gay ass
Shoko: i cant call u what i want to, but u know what im thinking
Utahime: If you say a slur dont worry I’ll defend you❤️
Shoko: ily❤️
Utahime: ❤️
Satoru: woah woah woah
Satoru: who are YOU to be defending anyone utahime🤣🤣
Utahime: Again, I repeat
Utahime: KYS
Mei: As enjoyable as this is to watch, I’d also like to know when and where this party is
Mei: I have a feeling I know the answer to both questions, though
Satoru: oh yeah haha
Satoru: can it pls be at your big sugar baby apartment 🥺
Mei: If you stop sending that emoji as a grown ass man 🥺
Satoru: damn fine
Satoru: didn’t know 19 made me a grown ass man
Utahime: Are you fucking stupid
Mei: My answer is yes, btw
Mei: I’ll even have my sd supply the booze, as a treat for Getou<3
Suguru: Awww thanks Mei’s sugar daddy
Suguru: But genuinely thanks for letting us hang there
Mei: It’s no problem, we’re happy to have you back
Suguru: :)
STRONGEST TRIO🔛🔝
4:07 pm
Shoko: i still cant believe the best story u two agreed on was PRISON???
Satoru: what
Satoru: it works
Satoru: and it makes suguru look like a badass
Shoko: im more surprised that getou went along with this but pop off ig
Suguru: It sounds goofy in theory but hear me out
Suguru: 1. People wont bother me for more info if I say it’s a ‘legal thing’
Suguru: 2. People are way less likely to treat me differently
Shoko: fair points
Shoko: im having fun playing along anyways and ill do so as long as necessary
Suguru: Lol thank you
Shoko: how are you though?
Suguru: Honestly p good, it’s nice to finally b able to have free will lol
Suguru: No guards or nurses following me around everywhere
Shoko: sheesh thatd piss me off quick
Shoko: got you a pack of cigs and a new lighter as a gift
Shoko: did they let u smoke there?
Suguru: Fucking thankfully
Suguru: I wldve actually gone insane if I had to quit cold turkey
Satoru: i snuck some in for him too!!
Shoko: now how tf did u manage to do that
Satoru: im crafty
Shoko: yeah no shit💀
Satoru: bc of the 24/7 staff at psych hospitals, theres a lot of surveillance blind spots
Satoru: and since theyre only focused on patients, its p easy to just slip in and out🤷
Shoko: ah that makes sense
Suguru: The fence isn’t too hard to climb either
Suguru: Except that one time u fell
Satoru: ya i almost got caught that time but im fast asf
Satoru: like sonic the hedgehog sprinting away from the scene of the crime
Shoko: u are someone who is always at the scene of the crime
Satoru: nuh uh
Suguru: Dorm Toilet Overflow
Satoru: HOW DO U KNOW ABT THAT
Shoko: oopsie tehe
Satoru: SHOKO.
Suguru: LMFAOOOOO
Satoru: IN MY DEFENSE
Satoru: I NEEDED TO GET RID OF THE COKE FAST
Satoru: I DIDNT KNOW THE TOILET WAS ALREADY CLOGGED
Shoko: worked out tho bc all the shit on the floor threw them off so hard they just let u go
Suguru: And thats why u dont ‘dabble’ in drug dealing
Satoru: what if i like dabbling
Satoru: men cant have hobbies now?
Suguru: You’re fucking ridiculous
Suguru: I missed yall
Shoko: we missed u dude<3
Satoru: yeah man welcome back<3
Suguru: <3