Chapter Text
Concerts were not my idea of fun. i wasn’t a rock and roll type of girl. hell, the most i did for fun was sit on my couch reading books and watching movies on a friday night, eating pizza rolls, waiting for ben to stumble in drunk and ask if he can sleep on my couch to make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit in the night. ah, yes, true friendship. Ben and I have been friends for ages, since highschool, and although we’ve remained close, we couldn’t be more different. i work a regular job during the week and spend my weekends reading and doing little fun things around the house like crocheting while watching the great british bake off. Bens idea of fun has always been more…..reckless. but that’s why i’ve always loved him. and so does everyone else. don’t paint me as jealous. after five years, i’m pretty much used to the amount of attention Ben gets and how he flaunts it. He’s a tough looking guy with longer brown hair and the biggest prettiest cow eyes that make all the girls melt. he was more of a rogue in highschool, which is how we became friends. i went through a bit of a goth phase and bens first words to me were that i look ‘looked metal’ which i guess is a compliment in his world. this was of course, before he grew an extra four inches and grew out of his awkward stage. it was alarming to see ben grow into the man whore that he is today, yet, i have stuck beside him. i’ve stayed because if anything’s stupidly obvious, it’s that i’ve always been in love with my best friend. i’d given up on him ever liking me back a long time ago, but that feeling lingers, which forces me into uncomfortable scenarios. as a twenty two year old women, i should know how to drop people and move on by now, but Ben is something special, and he’s all i’ve really got in the city. Which is why when bens asks me to go somewhere with him, i’ll always say yes.
“Come on Doll, we’re gonna be late if you don’t get your ass down here!” Ben screams from down stairs.
I still can’t believe I’m actually going to a death metal show. I usually left Ben to his partying and then let him come crash after he was too drunk to stand and we’d sit and watch old re-runs of i love lucy and gillian’s island while he tried not to toss his cookies on my living room floor. What do you even wear to a death metal show?? I’m definitely not fitting this criteria, but if it’s with Ben I’m sure it’ll be fine. I put the finishing touches of mascara and lipstick on and take a good glance at myself in the mirror. I think i pulled a somewhat decent outfit together, with my more laid back style. I had a long black midi skirt and a cropped metallica tee on, black again to try and blend in. i finished it with a leather jacket and chunky docs. it was the most rockstar chic look i could come up with out of my closet full of mostly comfy warm tones. and it had to be good enough. i grabbed my purse just as Ben started yelling up again.
“Doll!!”
that stupid nickname will still never fail to give me butterflies.
“alright!! i’m here, i’m here!! cool your tits!” i stomp down the stairs in my chunky boots.
Ben gives be a once over with a cheeky smile.
“what?” i ask, trying to hide my smirk as my cheeks get hot.
“Well, I’ll be damned, a true rocker chick if i’ve seen one, and trust me ive seen plenty”
i elbow him in the side playfully as i grab my keys and we step out of the house. “yea, you’ve seen them, but they’re more than likely naked” i wink as i turn the lock.
Ben takes my taunting like a champ, giving me another heart stopping smile and laughing at my comeback. although he’s a fuckboy, he’s wears it like a badge of honor. as we start the walk to the venue, ben gets this look on his face, it’s the look he gets when he’s thinking, which can never be good with where the night is heading.
“what are you thinking about??” i ask him, almost scared of his answer. he smiles to himself before looking over at me
“i know what my goal for the night is gonna be.”
“oh?” i ask “and what’s that?”
he looks guilty as ever as he sports a wolffish grin “to get you laid missy.”
there are several things Ben and i always talk about. mostly about Ben. Bens parties, Bens friends, Bens sex life. One thing we NEVER talk about is my sex life. why? simply because it’s non existent. Bens known i’m a virgin since senior year of highschool. he didn’t give me any shit about it, he even said he wish that he’d have waited. I think Bens just been so caught up in his own little world to notice that i haven’t had time to start a social life. guys didn’t talk to me much in college cause i was always around Ben. intimidatingly handsome, tough and tumble Ben. I was fine with it i thought, until one day it hit me that i’m twenty two years old living alone and working a 9-5 and i still have my v-card. how depressing is that?? it’s not that i don’t want to have sex, i just want it with the right person at the right time. and i want them to actually find someone like me attractive rather than it just be a pity fuck. i’m confident enough in my own skin to know i’m not the usual type guys go for.
so, when Ben brings up not only my life, but my SEX life, my brain goes blank.
“excuse me, what??”
ben keeps walking and smiling away while i’m standing like a bumbling fool.
“s. e. x. babe. you are getting it tonight. don’t you think it’s time??”
i take a deep inhale of breath and try to still my beating heart. “maybe?” i answer meekly.
“oh, come on doll. you’re 22. it’s definitely time. i’m gonna find you the perfect guy tonight.”
maybe this would work? ben knew me so well, and he knows almost everybody coming to this show tonight, so it couldn’t hurt.
“i can’t stop this from happening can i?”
“nope.” he puts emphasis on the p right as we turn the final corner to the street that the venue is on. “you are gonna be so thankful i brought you here doll, this is gonna be a night to remember.”
“or one i’ll hope to forget” i mumble to myself as we make our way to the back of the long line. Ben knows the band, so our names are on the list. we get inside and i’m immediately squinting from how dark it is, my eyes can’t adjust to the atmosphere.
i spot the bar and head that way with my only thought being ‘alcohol, please make this night a quick one’ i decide to park it at the bar while ben mingles around and even heads backstage a bit. i’m content to just people watch until the openers come on. it’s an interesting crowd. i definitely chose the right color, cause almost everybody here is bathed in the color black, but also adorned with faded denim jackets with patches from bands, similar to Bens. He’s worn his since i first met him. that thing has probably seen more in these years than anyone would hope to see in a lifetime.
although the crowd seems like an undead army, everyone seems to be pretty chill and inviting. but, when the openers come on, i start eating my words. this night just got way more chaotic. i’m gonna need more booze.
thankfully ben comes and checks in while the openers are screeching about they’re pain and comparing it to hellfire. he scowers the crowd for my potential “suitors” as he calls them. the set goes by quick with lots of jumping, screaming, and cursing. and then soon, the main act would be on.
“so, Ben, who is even playing tonight?”
“ah yeah, i forgot to tell you, it’s my buddy Finns band. he’s the drummer. they’re called repugnant. run by this dude that has a chicks name or some shit. they’re pretty hardcore. would be better if their singer wasn’t such a dick though”
i had no clue what he was talking about. a guy with a chicks name? why was he a dick?
“what’s his problem?” i ask just as the crowd starts to get rowdy again.
repugnant was about to come on. Ben just shrugs my question off and orders another beer.
as they step on stage, the energy is potent and charged. a chill crawls it’s way up my spine and i have to focus on just breathing. the singer is the last one to step on stage and now i know why ben probably doesn’t like him.
he’s got an even more demanding presence than ben does, with this confidence that drips from him. before even lifting his head i can tell he’s good looking too. beautiful in fact. but it isn’t until he pushes the long blonde hair behind his ears that i see the blood dripping down his face. it’s coming from a wound at the very top of his scalp. typical, he’s too metal to go get help. he doesn’t make any announcements before the music starts. and it’s starts like an explosion.
everything can only be described as loud. except when he starts singing. he’s yelling and screeching like all the other heavy bands, but there’s something different about his tone. He’s deeper than those other guys, his voice actually has potential. And that coming from me is high praise. The more he sings and loudly strums and bangs up his guitar, the more the blood oozes down his neck. Would it be wrong to say that it was hot ? Probably. Oh well. It was so fucking hot. I don’t know how he’s still standing with all the blood loss, but he’s executing it flawlessly.
Finally after their fourth song, he introduces himself as “Mary” and goes on to announce the band members. Ben hoops and hollers for his drummer friend.
I turn around, “you weren’t joking about him having a chicks name” I say jokingly.
Ben just rolls his eyes. He really must have not liked this Mary guy. Then something dawned on me.
“Ben….”
“What’s up doll?”
“Why is he bleeding?”
Ben gets another nasty look on his face before turning away without answering my question. I have a sinking suspicion that either Ben has something to do with Mary’s nasty gash, or he doesn’t care enough to give two fucks.
I set aside my worries as another song starts up and Mary keeps singing although the blood is now starting to ooze down the front of his “repugnant” band tshirt. The set continues and I can’t help but enjoy myself. I’d never been into this kind of music before but something about Mary’s energy sucked me in. Before I knew it the show had ended and they were marching offstage.
after the show Ben was able to get us, along with a couple more of his friends, backstage. Perks of being charming and knowing too many people. While Ben greats his drummer buddy I look arpund the room for any familiar faces.
The lighting is dim, and the back room of the grungy venue isn’t any better than the main space. There’s one presence that does draw me in; Mary. He’s sitting in the corner of the room with a rag to his bloody head and a beer, trying to do his best at thanking people for coming.
I make my way over to him and wait until a lot of the group has dispersed before grabbing a beer out of the cooler next to him.
“That’s a lot of gore there Mary” I try to play it cool, even while approaching the handsome man makes my skin itch and heart speed up.
He has a hoarse chuckle and clinks his drink to mine. “That’s a clever turn of fraise.”
I chuckle along at his retort and we drink together. “Dude, what actually happened? I was convinced you were gonna bleed out up there. I’m surprised you did so well, I would’ve fainted”
“well thanks, yea I wasn’t expecting this tonight. Some asshole tripped me backstage earlier. My head got cut up pretty bad by some broken glass” he winces as he takes another drink while looking me over fully.
There was something in his eyes, surprise? Something that told me he didn’t mind me being there, talking to him.
Although he has a rag, he’s not doing much damage control rather just making a bigger mess.
“Look, I know we just met, but could I help you out there?” Looking down at himself, he sighs in defeat and hands over the washcloth.
“Sure, but first a proper introduction. Whats your name?” He seems genuinely interested in getting to know me and hearing my answer, which is something I’m definitely not used to.
“I’m Dahlia.”
“Like…. That murder case? The black dahlia?”
I role my eyes at the morbidity that instantly came to his mind. Metalheads. “No, gore, like the flower. Although, that case was named after the flower.”
He perks up at the gruesome nickname I’d given him. And then his smirk rapidly vanishes when I start pressing the rag to his wounded head and then go all around his eyes, nose and mouth. being this close lets me study his whole face.
He’s an understated kind of beautiful, with strong cheek bones and piercing green eyes. And his nose with a little cleft goes perfect with his roses cupids bow. I inspect my work. He’s not totally blood free, but definitely a massive improvement. “There.” He opens his eyes and looks straight into mine. I had never felt my cheeks heat so fast. Something about him was driving me crazy.
I hand him back the bloody rag and his hand lingers in mine.
“How come I’ve never seen you here before?”
The dreaded question I was avoiding. I avert my eyes to his studded doc martens before looking back up again. His hand still isn’t out of mine and I’m standing much closer than I was initially.
“This isn’t my usual scene. I’d never been here until tonight. I’m here because a friend begged me to come.”
He looked me up and down again. “Well you fooled me, although I would’ve definitely remembered if you’d been here before.”
He has a little flirty smirk.
Is that what’s happening? Is he flirting with me? I smile at the floor trying to tame my blushing cheeks. The room had grown crowded and the after party had begun. Mary seemed to want to hide from the crowd.
He holds fast to my hand and asks, “hey, I’m gonna get some fresh air, you wanna come with?”
I shake my head yes. How could I say no to him?
Since the sun has set, the chill in the air became more of a bite and I had to wrap my leather jacket tighter around me to try and preserve warmth.
It’s only once we’ve fully rounded the building corner that I see Ben locking lips with some girl, who seems really fucking drunk.
“Shit….” I mumble beneath my breath which catches Bens attention.
He looks up and sees me standing there with Mary.
“Hey Doll, I was just about to say I’m about to head home. Do you need me to walk you home safe?”
I got the message he was trying to send loud and clear and this was one of the primary reasons I never went out with Ben.
He’s telling me ‘hey doll, can you go home alone, cause I really want to go bang this chick at my place and threes a crowd’ I take it with a grain of salt. I’ve grown used to his behavior.
“yea Ben, I’ll be fine.”
Only then does he fully register who I’m standing next to, who I’m with.
“What are you doing with him?” Ben says it almost in a mocking tone.
I roll my eyes, just wishing he would leave already. Drunk Ben is not my preferred company.
“Why do you care Ben?”
He scoffs then rolls his eyes back at me. “Come on Melony,” he puts his arm around the drunk girls shoulder.
She is arguably stunning with long black hair and a stunning body con dress, but that doesn’t conceal her blood shot eyes or stumbling feet. “Let’s get out of here.”
When Ben and Melony make their exit I sigh and slump against the crumbly brick wall. Mary pulls out a carton of cigarettes and his lighter from a backpocket.
“Looks like I’m not the only one having a rough night.” His lights one and the cherry burns red as he inhaled deeply.
“I’m sorry about that. Ben can be an asshole. Especially when he’s been drinking.”
He chuckles a bit. “You don’t have to tell me twice. Mr. Wonderful there is the reason I have these lovely gashes across my head now.”
I feel my stomach sink like a rock as the mortification sets in.
“Oh my god, Ben fucking tripped you?? Shit, Mary I’m so sorry, he’s such a dick….”
He cuts off my rambling, “no, no, none of that. You have nothing to apologize for. Plus Ben and I go way back, his dislike of me is nothing new.”
Although his words make me feel less guilty, I still feel like shit knowing Ben did this to him. I take a long drink from my beer and sink to the gravel, leaning against the brick. Mary joins my on the ground, scooting closer than he was standing.
“Why did he call you doll?”
he takes a deep drag of the cigarette between his lips, which emphasizes his strong cupid’s bow.
“it’s sort of a nickname. he’s known me since highschool, but he’s the only one who calls me that.” he offers me a puff and i take it, letting the smoke hit my lungs and spread to my toes.
“highschool, huh? so what , are y’all dating?”
i have to hold back my burst of laughter. “Ben and me? No. Never. Ben would never let that happen. Plus didn’t you see him locking lips with ‘Melony’ or whatever her name was”
he takes another drag of the cigarette and holds it between his teeth. “Oh I saw. Pretty embarrassing for him. She’s been around the block a few times. I thought Ben had higher standards”
I laugh at his attempt to make me feel better. For a brooding tough metal guy, he sure is kind. And funny, which is always a plus.
“You know, if it’s any consolation, I’m glad you came tonight.” And he’s sweet.
“You don’t have to consol me. I’m just embarrassed by his antics. If anything I should be consoling you. You’re the one who may need stitches.”
He shrugs me off. “I’m not saying it out of pity, I’m saying it because no pretty girl should be treated that way, even by just a friend.”
I have to blink and relive the moment to make sure I hear him right. I’m pretty sure Mary just called me pretty. I steal the cigarette from his mouth and take a puff from it, trying to hide my flustered expression. We sit in silence, listening only to the sound of traffic drive by and the low pulse coming from the after party we left behind.
After we finish our drinks and the shared cigarette Mary gruffly stands up and gives me his hands,
“come on doll”.
I take them graciously and he helps pull me up from the wall. The nickname I usually hated sounded good coming from his s lips. His sounded like admiration rather than some silly joke.
“Well, thank you for everything. I’m sorry again about Ben. I really did enjoy the show.” I try to wrap up the moment swiftly so I can get away from this embarrassing night and leave it all behind.
But he won’t let go of my hands, and he starts rubbing calming circles into my palms.
“Listen, I can’t let you walk home alone. I know you told Ben you’d be fine, but I’m not letting it happen. Plus, you’re the only decent company here.”
His words never fail to warm my cheeks.
“Let me just go and grab my stuff and tell the guys I’m headed out.”
I smile at his gesture and nod agreeing that the only good part about the night was meeting Mary. “Okay. I don’t live too far.”
“Neither do I.” He says with a wink as he rounds the corner and enters the party once again. I’m frozen by his words. Was he suggesting………oh no.