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“I’m very disappointed in you, Martin.” Peter’s arms were folded over his broad chest, and Martin couldn’t help but feel a prickle of fear shoot up his spine. “You were doing so well, and now?”
It wasn’t hard to guess what Peter was referring to. Martin had gone on his second date with Jon the previous night, and it had been lovely. More than lovely, really. It was only natural that his allegiance would be called into question— if he truly served the Lonely or some other nonsense. While Martin didn’t, he’d been playing along with whatever game Peter was playing for months now, and it had been hard to remember that it was an act at times. “I’m sorry, Peter. I’ve been looking into the Extinction like you asked, but there really isn’t much on it. I can ask Jon if there are any statements he’s come across-”
“Oh no, Martin. Don’t bring the Archivist into this any more than you already have.” The smile that Peter gave Martin was icy. “The two of you have gotten awfully close these past few weeks, haven’t you?”
“He was the one to approach me, I don’t know how he can always find me, even when I’m invisible-”
“His patron is the Eye, Martin. Of course the Archivist can see you. He’s truly a force to be reckoned with.” A small sigh. “That being said, I had hoped that you would sever your ties with him once and for all. It really is for the best, you know.”
“Jon works here, I’m not really sure how you expect me to not see him?” In all honesty, Martin didn’t want to stop seeing Jon. They finally seemed to be on the same page, and he was excited to see where they would go next.
“You did well enough avoiding him up until a few weeks ago, don’t let him distract you. He’s not your friend, Martin..” There was something about Peter’s voice that seemed to bring the temperature of the room down several degrees. “His loyalties lie with the Beholding, with knowledge and watching. He is not like us. Attachments are a liability, Martin, and I would hate to see you get held back when we’re so close to achieving our goal.
“Whatever the Archivist has said to you is just a distraction, and we can have no distractions now. He abandoned you, Martin, have you forgotten?” It was getting colder. Martin’s fingers and toes began to tingle. “Everyone you have cared for has left you, do you remember?” His blood was ice in his veins, chilling him from the inside out. “Even the Archivist has left you before, and he will do so again.” Was he crying? Martin wasn’t sure. “Do not forget that the only person you can trust is yourself. In the end, you were always alone.”
The computer screen in front of Martin was covered in frost but he couldn’t move his arms to wipe it off. His breath was coming out in shallow gasps that hung in the air like smoke, the tears on his cheeks had frozen, and his head was swimming. Alone. Martin was alone. Peter had vanished and there was no one else in the office, maybe in the whole Institute. Nobody would come to save him because nobody cared about him. His father had left him, his mother had died hating him, Tim and Sasha were gone and Jon was dead, lying on a cold hospital bed with his heart no longer beating.
He wasn’t sure how much time passed before the office door slammed open and Martin thought he could hear someone calling his name.
Something was wrong. Jon stopped in the middle of going over the notes on a Desolation statement- something about a town in Pennsylvania that was on fire- and looked up at the ceiling of the Archives, eyes narrowed. Lately he’d been having gut feelings when something was happening involving the Entities in his near vicinity, but most of the time he was too far away to do anything about them. Now, however, he was fully aware of what was happening, and where.
Martin was in trouble. He was in his office- Peter’s office- that much Jon was certain of, but his presence was dwarfed by that of the Lonely, which surrounded him. Jon rose from his chair so fast that he knocked it over, but he didn’t care. What did bother him was the fact that there were so many god damned stairs in the Institute, and Elias had never seen fit to make it usable for disabled people. His leg had been troubling him less since he’d started taking regular live statements, but that didn’t do much when he had to climb four flights of stairs and he’d forgotten his cane at home that morning. It was a good thing he didn’t need to breathe like normal humans did, it was more muscle memory than anything.
The door to the office was closed, the doorknob freezing cold. Jon thought it might be locked until he saw the cracks between the door and the frame were covered in ice. Taking a deep breath he didn’t actually need he backed up a few paces before ramming the door with his shoulder. Pain immediately blossomed up his entire left side but he didn’t care, he could deal with it later, once Martin was safe. Jon tried again, and this time he was rewarded by the door opening a fraction. He threw it open and felt like he’d walked into a freezer.
In the center of the room Martin sat at his desk, his ragged breathing visible in the air before him, tear stains frozen on his cheeks. “Martin!” He didn’t seem to notice Jon approach him, and his eyes fluttered shut. “Martin, you have to stay with me!” Jon reached out to steady Martin but his hands passed through what felt like empty air.
“Who?” Martin’s voice was a whisper.
“Martin, it’s me, Jon. Listen to my voice, alright? Stay with me.” It was hard to keep his tone neutral, but something inside Jon was telling him that it was the right thing to do. He reached out again, placing his hands over where Martin’s own intangible ones rested on his knees. “I’m here, Martin. I’m here for you. I love you.”
The room seemed to grow a bit warmer, and Jon was able to feel Martin’s hands under his own. The most important thing right now was to get Martin out of here, get him somewhere safe, and the only place Jon could think of was the Archives. They were his, and his alone; a place of power for the Archivist. Since Martin was someone precious to Jon- the most precious thing in the universe- the Archives would no doubt protect him.
“You left.” It was not a question, and it was not referring to this morning when they’d parted at the Institute’s entrance.
“I came back, Martin.” Jon cupped Martin’s tear-streaked cheeks in his hands. “I came back because I love you. I’ll always come for you.”
“How can I be sure of that?”
“Look at me, Martin.” Jon’s throat felt tight and his own eyes had grown damp. “Look at me and tell me what you see.”
It felt wrong to compel him- especially after he’d specifically asked Jon not to- but desperate times, desperate measures.
The distant look in Martin’s eyes began to clear, and his lips started to tremble. “I see you, Jon…” he took a shaky breath. “I see you.” The spell seemed to be broken all at once, and Martin buried his face in Jon’s chest, sobbing.
Jon stroked his back gently and placed a kiss to the top of his head. “I’m here, Martin.”
“I- Peter-” Martin gasped, but couldn’t get the words out.
“I know what he did.” Jon took a deep breath. “Let’s get you out of here. Can you stand?”
With Jon’s help Martin slowly rose to his feet, swaying unsteadily but managing to stay upright, which was a relief. Jon wasn’t sure he could pick Martin up if he needed to- the Beholding didn’t exactly seem like the kind of patron to bestow super-strength.
The trip back to the Archives was an odd one, and Jon was grateful that it was after closing time because it meant the Institute was practically abandoned, nobody would see them. Martin held onto his hand like a lifeline, and he made sure to not let go as they descended down flight after flight of stairs. When they arrived Jon led Martin to the break room, with its beaten-up sofa and blanket rolled up on one end, and Martin sat down upon it.
“What can I do for you, Martin?” Jon asked, still holding both of Martin’s hands with his own scarred ones. “How can I help you?”
“Stay.” It was such a simple request that Jon wanted to laugh.
“I’m not leaving you again, Martin. I’ll always come for you, no matter where you are.” He began to wipe at Martin’s cheeks with the sleeve of his jumper. “Peter Lukas will pay for what he did to you. He had no right to hurt you.”
“He won’t be happy,” Martin sniffled. “He really did seem disappointed in me.”
“Good, let him be disappointed, I’m not letting you out of my sight.” Jon sat down next to Martin and pulled him into a hug. “You can work down here again, do your assistant duties from one of the Archives’ computers. Or you can bring the one you were using and we can set it up on one of the desks.”
“Why?”
“Because he can’t do anything in the Archives,” Jon couldn’t help but smile wickedly. “This is my domain; he has no power in this place.”
Martin sniffled and buried his face in Jon’s shoulder. “Don’t leave me. Can we just stay like this for a bit?” As much as Jon wanted to storm back up those stairs and hurt Peter- he hadn’t figured out the specifics, but it would be painful- he couldn’t just leave Martin alone after what had just happened.
He placed a kiss on Martin's forehead. “For as long as you like.”
The clock on Jon’s phone told him that several hours had passed before Martin had fallen asleep, wrapped in Jon’s arms. Still, he stayed there, not letting Martin go, because the last thing he wanted was for Martin to wake up alone. Instead Jon tried to think of what to do next, how to protect Martin best from the Lonely’s cold grip while still ensuring that Peter would be properly punished.
In the end he ended up pulling off a ring that he’d started wearing on his thumb and sliding it onto one of Martin’s fingers. It was a strange coincidence that Martin’s hands were larger than Jon’s, and it had ended up fitting Martin’s ring finger. Still, Jon placed it on the right hand, as this was not the time for proposals. Besides, he could do a much better job in the future.
By the time Martin actually woke up Jon’s muscles were cramping from staying mostly still for so long. “Sleep well?” Jon asked, his voice gentle.
Martin looked blearily up at him, not quite awake, and smiled softly. “Yeah, I think I did.” He blinked several times before glancing around, taking in their surroundings. His expression became distant, no doubt as he recalled the events that had happened earlier. “Wait, where?”
“We’re still in the Archives, Martin.” Jon shifted into a more comfortable position now that Martin was awake. “You fell asleep a little bit after we got here.”
“You’re still here.”
“You asked me to stay.” There was nothing more to add.
After a few seconds Martin asked, somewhat nervously, “What are you going to do about Peter?”
“I told you, I’m going to make him pay.” His legs were full of pins and needles as Jon got to his feet. “Not just for what he did to you, but the others he fed to the Lonely. He needs to be stopped.”
For a few seconds it looked like Martin might try to stop him, then he closed his eyes, resigned. “He does.”
Jon knelt down in front of Martin and grasped his right hand, the one with the ring on it. “I’ll come back, I promise.” Jon tapped the ring Martin was now wearing. “If you feel like you’re losing yourself, or you start to doubt, just look at your hand. Remember what flower I have tattooed over my heart, what it means, and who it’s for.”
Taking a deep breath, Martin nodded. “Just... be quick alright?”
“As quick as possible.” Jon bent down and kissed Martin, their lips meeting for only a few seconds before he straightened back up. “See you soon.”
The climb back up to Elias’ office for the second time in a day hurt quite a bit, and Jon knew that he’d need to take a live statement today. He hoped it would be Peter’s. That would be quite filling. He had to rely on the stair rail more than he would have liked, and it took around ten minutes, but he at least made it without having to stop. The office was no longer full of fog or frost, but it was still colder than the rest of the Institute. Taking a deep breath of frigid air, Jon closed his eyes and tried to See.
“I know you’re here, Peter.” It was trying to catch water with his bare hands, the man was right in front of him and yet just out of reach. “Too afraid to show your face? You’d rather hide than be caught by me?”
“Of course.” Peter’s voice was quiet, and Jon had to strain to hear it. “I prefer for people to not see me. To not notice I’m here.”
“Well, that’s too bad.” Jon focused in on where the voice had come from, and he began to make out Peter’s shape within the fog. “I can see you, and you will pay for what you did to Martin.”
Clearly sensing that Jon meant to do him harm, Peter seemed to be trying to escape, his form blurring at the edges. “I don’t think that’s really necessary. If you wanted to make a complaint about how I’m running the Institute, or a suggestion on how to improve-”
“A ‘complaint?’” Now that Jon had spotted Peter it was impossible to unSee him, despite the man’s attempts to disappear. Now it was just a matter of focusing on him, like one could do with photo-editing software. Peter became gradually clearer, more solid, until he was fully present in the room, at least to Jon. “A ‘suggestion?’ As someone who recently had a failed intervention I can tell you firsthand that ‘suggestions for improvement’ don’t always have the intended result.”
“Fine,” Peter scoffed, huffing in annoyance. “I was trying to be diplomatic-”
“I think we’re far beyond diplomacy, Peter,” Jon took a painful step forwards, and was pleased to see Peter take one back. “You touched something that wasn’t yours.”
“Martin doesn’t belong to you.”
“Martin doesn’t belong to anyone.” The idea was ludicrous. “He’s his own person and can make his own decisions.”
“What do you want , Archivist?”
“I want you to regret ever accepting Elias’ offer to take over for him. First however?” Jon couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “I want you to tell me your story.” The look of horror on Peter’s face was wonderful. So many of Jon’s victims were unaware of the Entities, and their fear was somewhat dampened by the fact that they could not comprehend what was happening to them. Peter, however? He’d known all his life about the Fears, and he was far too aware of what Jon could do to him. Jon wanted to save that fear in a bottle to drink on special occasions.
“No, I’m not saying anything else to you.” It was kind of entertaining to see Peter fight the compulsion, but the outcome was already determined.
“Statement of Peter Lukas,” Peter’s body was rigid, his muscles straining. “ Taken from subject on September 5th, 2018.”
“I’m... Not... Saying... Another... Word...”
“ Statement begins. ”
Jon wished it was satisfying to see Peter Lukas tell him of his lonely childhood, of captaining a ship where the crew didn’t know each other’s name. It was in a way, the statement was nourishing, making his leg hurt less and the hunger that had started to claw at his stomach fade. However Jon did not care about Peter’s life story, he did not care about the man before him except for the fact that Peter had hurt Martin. Jon just needed to eat before doing anything strenuous.
When he’d finished giving his life story Jon had just one more question to ask. “Why did you hurt Martin? Why did you do that to him? ”
“He was so promising, you know?” Peter seemed slightly more relaxed after already saying so much. “After losing his mother, losing you, he was just so alone he seemed like the perfect fit for the Lonely.”
“He’s not alone anymore, though.”
“Right, you just had to come back and ruin everything.” Peter sighed. “I don’t know why I’m surprised, to be honest, I’ve always been alone. I guess I’m just disappointed.”
“You made him suffer just because you were disappointed?” As frustrating as it was to hear, Jon wasn’t surprised.
“I believed that if I advised Martin of his allegiance he would remember his priorities. Which was a mistake, I’ll admit. I hadn’t been expecting you to be so protective of him, after he pushed you away for months.”
“I love him.” It felt so natural to say the words aloud. “I would never give up on him, even if he wanted nothing to do with me.”
“You’re quite obsessed with him, aren’t you, Archivist?” There was an accusatory tone to Peter’s voice. “Did you get attached to Martin just because he’s the last of your assistants who’s alive?”
“Shut up.”
“Have I touched a nerve?” That earned a chuckle from Peter. “Aren’t you afraid that you’re making a mistake, jumping into a relationship without truly knowing each other? From what Elias told me you used to despise him.”
“I’ve changed. We both have.”
“Has he? Are you sure? Or did you just never take the time to understand him?”
“I know him better than you think I do,” Jon clenched his hands into fists. “Better than you do, in any case. I know him well enough to understand he’s brilliant. Brilliant enough to trick you.”
“What?” That got Peter’s attention.
“You never once doubted his allegiance before I approached him? Before that failed intervention?” It was Jon’s turn to laugh, a sound that was harsh to his own ears. “Martin, the man who tricked Elias into getting arrested?”
“What are you getting at?”
“I was never on your side, Peter.” Jon turned around to see Martin in the doorway, leaning against the frame, his face still pale. “Maybe at first, yeah. I’d lost everything, and it seemed like working for you was a good way to get killed.”
“Martin…” It hurt to hear him talk about dying so nonchalantly.
“Then, well, then Jon came back, and things changed.” Despite his pallor, Martin’s gaze was determined. “I had to keep your attention on me so you wouldn’t do anything to him. I would do whatever you asked of me, say what you wanted to hear. If that meant losing Jon to protect him, I was fine with that.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do, I have all along.” Martin took a deep breath. “Then, well, I’ll admit I got distracted, for a good reason. It was impossible to keep up the facade of serving the Lonely and work on building a relationship with Jon at the same time. I knew I had to choose one, and I picked the man I love.”
“You do serve the Lonely, though.”
“Not anymore,” Martin walked over to where Jon stood and wrapped an arm around him. “Had things been different, maybe, but you can’t be in love and worship loneliness at the same time.”
Peter glared at Jon. “This is your fault!”
“I think not. As I said, Martin doesn’t belong to anyone.” Jon copied the man he loved and hugged him back. “He’s his own person and can make his own decisions. Did make his own decisions.”
“Nobody made me do anything; I chose this. I chose to be happy.”
The temperature dropped to the point where Jon’s breath clouded in front of him, almost indistinguishable from the fog that had begun to thicken. “You chose wrong.”
Static began to fill the air, and Jon felt his grip on Martin loosen, as though he were becoming less solid. Gritting his teeth Jon glared at Peter. Who did this pathetic man think he was? “I thought I told you that you would pay for what you did, and you thought you’d try again?”
Jon wasn’t sure what exactly he was trying to do, how it was possible to hurt Peter, he just was so angry he had to do something. “I See you, Peter Lukas, and I will always See you. I will spare your life today, but for the rest of it you will always be Watched. You will never be able to hide from my gaze, even if you retreat into the Lonely.”
The meaning of Jon’s words seemed to be sinking in, and Peter’s face grew ashen.
“You will never truly be alone again. That is my punishment for you.”
Leaving Peter to his fate, Jon led Martin out of the office and back down into the Archives. For the first flight of stairs neither of them said anything, each somewhat leaning on the other for support. On the next landing, Martin spoke up. “What now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Elias is in jail, Peter doesn’t seem like he’ll be capable of running the Institute anymore…” Martin trailed off, as though unsure of what to say next.
“Well, if Peter resigns, I’m not sure Elias had planned for someone else to take over. My best guess is that the role will pass on to the person directly below him, like his assistant.”
There was silence for a few seconds. “Me?”
“Can you think of anyone else? Would Elias trust any other Avatars to run his precious Institute for him?”
“You know what,” Martin squeezed Jon’s hand, “that is a problem for future-Martin.”
“Sounds good to me.” Jon squeezed back.
“So what’s next for us?”
“Well, I believe there’s a poetry night at a cafe next week, if you’re interested in that kind of thing.” Jon couldn’t help but smile mischievously.
“I thought you hated poetry?”
“I love you, and I should take an interest in things you’re passionate about as well as support you.”
“God, when did you become such a sap?” Martin chuckled, holding the door to the Archives open for Jon to enter.
“Depends. Is that a yes for next week?”
“It’s a yes, silly.”
“It’s a date, then.”