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Izzy has been itching. Almost physically. Something has been burrowing under his skin, for months now. It nearly makes him break out in a cold sweat when he thinks about it. He’s loved, he knows that, and he’s grateful for it, both Stede and Ed dote on him daily; he smiles more now, he’s happy.
But the sex. It’s soft, it’s sweet, and yes that is something that he had yearned for once, but when it’s all he has it’s not enough. He needs balance.
He’s standing on deck one late morning, spacing out, hand absentmindedly scratching at his neck. His eyes wander over the grain of the wood of the deck, trying to find something to focus on and failing drastically.
“Izzy?” Ed calls, coming to stand by his side, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Where are you right now?”
Izzy blinks, looking up at Ed, the question confusing him. “I... I’m here, I think. Could we go to the cabin? I want to ask you something.”
“Sure, yeah, hold on. Stede, love?”
“Yes, dearest?” Stede replies, looking away from his conversation with Oluwande for a moment.
“Taking Izzy to the cabin if you need anything. Though maybe don’t need anything though,” Ed says with a wink. Oluwande makes a small gagging noise, finger pointing to his mouth. Stede hits him with a hand lightly, but nods to the two of them, smiling.
Ed reaches down to grab Izzy’s hand, pulling him across the deck, weaving their fingers together. He tries to ignore the growing panic in his chest, because this is something big, something he doesn’t know how to ask for anymore.
Once they’re inside the cabin, his hand shakes a bit where it’s held in Ed’s, who immediately notices.
“Hey, hey, whoa. Easy, baby, easy. What’s all this then?” he asks, turning Izzy around, bringing their joined hands up to his chest. “Sh, you’re alright.”
“I- I need something,” Izzy stammers, looking down at the floor, grinding the toe of his shoe against it.
Ed’s free hand comes up, tipping Izzy’s chin. “Hey, look at me now. What’s wrong?”
“I need Blackbeard.”
Ed’s face changes, almost imperceptibly, his brow quirking up just a bit. And immediately Izzy wants to take back what he said. Because he knows what this will cost Ed if he brings it back.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve. Edward, I’m sorry,” he starts, drawing back just a bit.
“No, no, it’s okay. Just breathe, precious, you’re alright.” The hand that had been holding his chin combs through the hair at his temple. “That just wasn’t what I expected.”
Izzy takes a deep breath, tries to steady himself, because this is a question he didn’t think he would have to ask. At the beginning, he thought he could get by with the sweetness, Stede’s gentle caresses and loving gaze, the softness of Ed’s hand, now, his repentance.
“That’s why you’ve been so finicky, hm?” Ed asks, pulling Izzy closer, still gentle, knowing that this, the comfort, is what Izzy needs in this moment.
“Yeah,” Izzy agrees, letting himself lean forward to press his forehead against Ed’s chest. “I do love the soft, the gentle, the things I didn’t allow myself, but fuck, Ed, I need.”
“Okay. Okay, we can talk about it. I just need to make sure that I can... give you what you need and not um. You know.”
Izzy groans, pressing further forward, doing his best to hide from the implication. “That’s why I apologized and didn’t want to ask.”
“No, I want you to ask for what you need, baby. I just need to make sure I trust myself to give you that. I don’t... I’m not Blackbeard, not in the way I used to be.”
“I know,” Izzy whispers, wrapping his arms around Ed’s back, turning his head so his ear is pressed against his chest. The two of them just breathe for a long time, centering themselves, preparing.
Stede immediately asks what happened when he comes back into the cabin that night, looking between the two of them and how they won’t really look at each other.
“What is it? The two of you clearly talked about something.”
Izzy clears his throat and settles against the back of his chair, rolling his head side to side. “I need something from him that I used to get and it’s something that the two of us need to work through. It’s nothing, love.”
“It doesn’t sound like nothing to me, darling,” Stede replies,scanning him like he does every time emotions take over him. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Izzy laughs, falling back on his old mindset for a moment, trying to shield himself from everything. “No, you can’t help with this.”
“Izzy,” Ed warns, and for a moment his tone is different, like it was, and he feels for a moment like there’s cotton between his ears, heartbeat hammering.
Stede looks between them again and then nods. “Ah, so it’s that then, is it? Well that I can certainly help with.”
“Can you?” Ed asks, mood changing in a second.
“Of course I can. You know I would never let either of you hurt the other, so, Israel, if it’s alright with you, while the two of you find your footing again, I can sit in? Make sure things don’t go too far?”
Izzy stares at him for a long moment, brows scrunched together. “I don’t think you’d like the things that Ed used to do to me, annwyl. It’s not... what you’re used to.”
“If it’s something that Ed feels unsteady doing again, I think I can guess, love,” Stede replies, and Izzy supposes that yes, he can guess.
“I’m fine with it,” Ed says, looking to Stede gratefully. “I know that Izzy needs that kind of thing from me and I hate that I haven’t been able to give it to him. Iz?”
“Yeah,” Izzy replies, nodding stiffly. “Yeah, that should be fine.”
“Perfect. If you’d like to start now, by all means. You can go about it how you used to, and if there’s a moment where it looks to be too much, I’ll stop you.”
Izzy swallows and looks to Ed. He does want this, more than he’s able to express, really. Finding his courage, he stands and walks over to Ed, sitting his glass of whiskey on the table as he goes. When he reaches him, he carefully gets to his knees, hands placed against his thighs, head tipped down.
“Captain.”
“Fuck,” Ed groans, reaching out to weave his fingers through Izzy’s hair, tugging it so Izzy looks up at him, the delicious sting from the force of it instantly making Izzy go pliant.
Ed doesn’t look like Blackbeard,not here in their quarters, not in his robe, but there’s a specific glint in his eyes that Izzy knows all too well. This is his captain, the man he serves, and he’s going to get what he needs.
“I’ve missed having you here like this, Izzy. Always so good when you’re on your knees for me.”
“Yes, Captain. For you.”
Ed scans Izzy’s face, turning his head this way and that. “Tell me what you want.”
Izzy swallows roughly, holding Ed’s gaze. “Your knife. Want your knife.”
Ed loses color in his face at Izzy’s admission, and he knows exactly where his mind has gone. Firelight flickering behind Ed, blood on Izzy’s mouth, scissors taking his toe. But he keeps looking at Ed, nods just a bit.
“Need to trust you again, sir. Need to know you won’t hurt me with it.”
“I won’t hurt you,” Ed replies, nails scratching lightly against the back of Izzy’s head. “Just that? Or do you want something else, too?”
“Fuck me, please, sir. Like you used to,” Izzy says, putting a glint in his own eyes, knowing that Ed can see exactly what he sees, hears what he hears.
“Alright then. Robe off, to the bed,” Blackbeard orders, and Izzy obeys right away, shucking his robe and tossing it over the back of his chair, lying down on the bed, legs spread to the side.
He watches, heavy lidded and dazed, as Ed walks over to his leathers, pulling his knife from its sheath. He stares at it for long moments, looking at his reflection in the blade.
Stede stands, comes over to Edward and places a hand on his chest, thumb soothing over his pectoral. “Tell me how this goes, love.”
Ed clears his throat. “He wants me to hold the blade at his neck while I fuck him, a bit of added danger. We’ve done it before. I can give him this.”
Stede hums and extends up, pressing a kiss to Ed’s cheek. “I’ll be right here. I won’t let anything happen to either of you.”
Ed nods and makes his way over. Izzy can see how he goes back and forth between the soft Ed that Izzy has been seeing and his captain, and he knows how much of a struggle this is for Ed, so when he crawls over Izzy, legs straddling his hips, he pulls him down for a kiss.
“I trust you,” he whispers, and he sees the change in Ed’s eyes, back to Blackbeard, back to taunting, back to his captain.
“You shouldn’t,” Ed says, tone dark, eyes even darker. He reaches up and just places the blade beside Izzy’s head, heavy and present on the mattress beside him. He slaps the inside of Izzy’s thigh, the sharp sound ringing out. “Wider, come on, you know better.”
Izzy complies, relaxing his hips, legs spreading as far as they can. Ed hums as he looks down, eyes roving over Izzy, one hand coming over to spread his cunt. He’s already wet, it seems to be something that happens immediately whenever Ed is like this, so he just throws his head back against the pillows, moaning as Ed gathers his slick and presses in.
And it’s so easy to slip back into his role, the person he was, still is. He shivers, and it takes Ed a moment to start fucking him with his fingers, giving him exactly what he needs. He presses down onto his pelvis,holding him still, the wet sounds of him filling the room along with his moans.
“You always take it like such a good whore, Iz,” Ed says, head dipping down so he can press his forehead to his temple. “Tell me.”
“Yes, Captain. ‘M your whore, yours.”
“Yes you are. You’re gonna be a good boy and take my cock, yeah?”
“Yes,” Izzy gasps, nodding his head, eyes rolling back. “Yes, please.”
All of this talk is softer than it used to be, but Ed’s fingers are still fucking him, drawing his orgasm forward. And then he stops, pulling them out just before he’s able to come.
“Please, Captain, fuck, please,” he whines, hips shifting,searching some friction, anything.
“Ah ah ah,” Ed warns, reaching up to pick up the knife beside Izzy’s head, pressing the flat of it against Izzy’s throat, the cold metal sending a jolt up his spine. “You haven’t forgotten the rules, you’re not that stupid. You come on my cock, and that’s it. Understand?”
Izzy nods as much as he can, breathing harshly. “Yes. Yes, Blackbeard, yes.”
Scissors. Fire. Black greasepaint. Blood. He focuses on Ed’s eyes and watches as they stay steady, not a flicker of pain, not a flicker of malice. The blade does not press into his throat any harder, and Izzy knows then that they’re stable. He trusts Ed. He won’t hurt him. It’s all behind them.
“Good boy,” Ed praises, nipping at his jaw, reaching down with his free hand to guide his cock into Izzy.
It doesn’t take long, not for Izzy. Ed pounds into him, and he can vaguely hear him granting permission. Izzy comes, back arching up into Ed’s chest, neck against the blade. Ed moves with him, pressure staying steady, and it’s everything.
“Thank you, sir,” Izzy stutters out. “Please, come in me.”
Ed moves the knife away from Izzy’s neck, leaning forward to press kisses to it, whispering praise and thanks and every possible thing that runs through his brain as he comes. Izzy reaches up and curls his hands around Ed’s skull, nails running lightly over his scalp, flipping their roles for a moment.
“Thank you, Edward, you gave me exactly what I needed. Thank you,” he whispers, one hand drifting down to dance along his spine. “Come on, let go. It’s alright.”
Ed does, a soft cry leaving him as he gets his arms under Izzy’s back, holding him close as he does his best to breathe. Izzy stays with him through it all, whispering to him, comforting him, thanking him. It takes a few long moments for Ed to settle fully, but when he does, he pulls out of Izzy and reaches for the knife again, keeping it pointed away as he hands it out to Stede, who takes it and then joins them in bed.
“Are you both alright?” He asks, soothing a hand up Ed’s back as the other reaches for Izzy’s hand. “I didn’t see anything that gave me pause.”
“I’ve never felt better,” Izzy replies, reaching down to grab Ed’s chin and tilt his face up, looking in his eyes. “How do you feel, cariad?”
“I did it,” Ed whispers, sounding triumphant. “I didn’t hurt you.”
“No, treasure, you didn’t. I knew you wouldn’t. Thank you.”
“Thank you, Izzy, thank you for letting us have this again. I love you so much.”
“I love you, Edward. Just rest, now. We have all the time in the world.”
Ed nods, ducking his head into Izzy’s chest again, turning to press his ear over his heart, breathing steadily as he falls asleep. Izzy kisses his forehead, his own eyes falling closed as he drifts off himself, listening to the sound of Ed’s breathing and Stede standing to move about the room.
There’s no fire. There’s no blood. Just the lapping of the waves against the hull and his steady heart.