Work Text:
@spiderman
google how do i get verified
@cheer15nyc
Bro wait how did you get that username
reply -- @spiderman
i'm spiderman do you really think i didn't go save this minutes after i decided on my name
@cheer15nyc
OK So then why haven't you tweeted before now??
reply -- @spiderman
i've been busy and also completely forgot i saved it
@ddfrogb_
This clown is trying to say he's the real Spiderman and I can't decide if he's going for clout or just RPing
reply -- @spiderman
how about a selfie? is this how i get verified?
(photo: selfie of spiderman, on top of a skyscraper with the New York skyline in the background. he is very high up)
@ayuda_ayuda
imagine calling the real Spiderman a clown
reply -- @spiderman
i can be the real spiderman and still be a clown, let's not jump on the hate train or anything
@technogeek20
I don't buy it, that could be photoshop. Can you do something else to prove it's really you?
reply -- @spiderman
name it
@technogeek20
Oh No The Pressure, uh, as much as I wanna be like 'hey I'm at Starbucks right now come say hi', maybe you should tell a reporter that you have Twitter, that would probably be an easier way to get verified
reply -- @spiderman
i mean, i could do both. which starbucks?
@technogeek20
What The Fuck
(photo: a grinning black dude taking a selfie with Spiderman, who has put two fingered bunny ears behind the dude's head)
reply -- @spiderman
sorry I didn't take you up on the offer for coffee, it's hard to carry while swinging
@nycnews
Does Spiderman Have Twitter?
(link: to a news article, with the beginning lines, "This Thursday has been abuzz with the discovery of Spiderman's twitter account, using the handle @Spiderman, which had been saved but empty for the entirety of Spiderman's career. Evidently...")
reply -- @spiderman
is this enough to get me verified
@spiderman retweeted --
@spockspork
#VerifySpiderman
@spiderman
look at these hashtag views
(photos: a sparkling deep pink-purple skyline of New York, with the bottom reflection of mirrored glass showing Spiderman one-handedly taking the photo while sticking to the side of the building)
@_lostboys_
there's no way that's photoshop let's get this boy hashtag verified #VerifySpiderman
reply -- @spiderman
thank u for your support
@transdan
I know you're probably not going to see this since everyone and their dog is tweeting you right now, and I'm sure you don't remember but you saved my life three months ago and every single day I wake up and think about you and I think about how you told me you wanted me to keep going, and that gives me so much strength, and the fact that you help everyone is so uplifting and just wonderful and thank you...
reply -- @spiderman
i remember you daniel, and it makes me very happy to know you're alive and well.
@spiderman retweeted --
@notelmo
Spiderman Said Trans Rights
@spiderman retweeted --
@christy11
Spiderman Say Black Lives Matter?
@lollipopchild
hey @spiderman I just saw you and you were bleeding, are you okay?
reply -- @spiderman
right as rain, thanks for looking out xo
@puppicino
It's so fucking WEIRD that I can tweet literal @Spiderman and he might see it. It's like tweeting a cryptid and having bigfoot reply 'hey man thanks for the shoutout xo'
reply -- @spiderman
nice profile pic, love that dog xo
@bennyboi
Yo @Spiderman would you want a spider-sized dog
reply -- @spiderman
only if it did not harm the dog to be spider-sized
@cloverfieldrunner6
Dog sized spider @spiderman?
reply -- @spiderman
horrifying. yes.
@spiderman
thanks for the 100k followers, that's a lot. i'm beginning to think i'll never be verified though.
@spiderman retweeted --
@newyorkcitynews
Spiderman Confirms Twitter Account Is Real
(link: to a news article, with the beginning lines: "Spiderman took a quick moment with reporters this afternoon after saving dozens of lives in a broken rail disaster to confirm the question on everyone's minds...")
@spideyfanbabey
The AUDACITY that @spiderman isn't verified now is just stunning
reply -- @spiderman
oh well, i tried. you all know it's me, just imagine the checkmark with your heart
@spiderman
i feel bad when i see the tweets abt 'spider-spotting' of people who were up looking for me and like ... i was taking a nap
@sylviare
it's ok!! it's fun for us no matter what. but you could send out a tweet when you go?
reply -- @spiderman
i would but there are a few problems. one, often don't have my phone. two, it's usually an emergency and it seems negligent to take a mo to send out a tweet. three, i don't want criminals to know when it's cool to do crime, you know?
@sylviare
that's fair, carry on! and don't be afraid to nap, we're just hobbyist spotters who like the adventure :)
reply -- @spiderman
you're cool, sylvia.
@spiderspot
Spiderspot of the Month!
(video: Spiderman tripping off a roof and tumbling head over heels, and yelling, "Oh, yikes, oh YIKES!" before catching a flagpole and spinning in a rapid circle, and sending off another web and sailing away.)
reply -- @spiderman
twitter was a mistake
@spiderman
i'm just kidding that video made me laugh so hard i almost aspirated on my coffee
@spiderman
if you can't laugh at yourself, like, what's the point
@spiderman
a little girl dropped her stuffed dog when i was in brooklyn earlier and i'm just carrying it around bc i can't find her again, twitter help
@delilahdrawsart
Oh!!! @spiderman, does it look like this?? my niece dropped her dog earlier today in Brooklyn, my sister just told me
(photo: a blue stuffed dog in a blonde little girl's hand)
reply -- @spiderman
i dm'ed you
@trev_more
imagine getting dm'ed by spiderman
reply -- @spiderman
check your dm's
@spiderman retweeted --
@trev_more
I JUST GOT RICK ROLLED BY SPIDERMAN
@spiderman
dog has been returned btw thanks twitter
@_pauldil28
Why the Hell does Spiderman waste his time on Twitter when he could be saving lives??
reply -- @spiderman
i could ask you the same thing, paul
@_pauldil28
I'm not a fucking superhero, you have a responsibility to this city
reply -- @spiderman
and i don't have the monopoly on helping people. anyone can do that. also it's funny that you think i spend every minute of the day saving people, paul. i have a day job.
@liloandditch
What's your day job???
reply -- @spiderman
what are you, a cop
@spiderman
just kidding. but still, not saying. that would ruin the whole secret identity thing.
@spiderman
speaking of secret identity thing, my lovely non-specific family-member just cooked me an extremely delicious meal and i might have teared up a little bit
@photography_by_hana
Oh My God the idea of someone cooking spiderman a homecooked meal just made me tear up too. i hope this family member loves him a whole lot. he deserves it
reply -- @spiderman
no they deserve a far better 'relative' than i unfortunately.
@spiderman
woof got self deprecating there. conceal don't feel, spidey.
@frankietakesnyc
Hi @Spiderman you saved my life earlier today and I'm still shaking thank you I love you so much
reply -- @spiderman
have some juice, bud. take deep breaths.
@nothing1995
is spiderman really this nice in real life
reply -- @spiderman
wait is this not real life
@spiderman
honestly how can any of it be 'real' when i wear a mask anyway. schrodinger's spider?
@morning_nyc_news
Twitter Comes Together To Show Spiderman Some Appreciation
(link: to a news article, with the beginning lines: Trending today on Twitter was six different hashtags, all relating to our recent Twitter using superhero, Spiderman. The hashtags were for showing love, spreading stories, fanart, photographs, and more. There was...)
reply -- @spiderman
turns out if you wear a mask that no one can see you cry either. thanks folks. you really didn't have to do that.
@spiderman
i was trying to sleep but i kept scrolling forever. i tried to 'like' anything i read but the thought of reply to them all is overwhelming. if you encounter someone tomorrow who is very tired please cut them some slack they might've been up all night in an emotional crisis created by twitter
@spiderman
sandwich time.
@spiderman
yes i can't cope with emotions it's sandwich time baybeeee
@ninjaturgles10
when did spiderman get so relatable
reply -- @spiderman
am i cool now? i've never been cool before
@samsamsam
i highly doubt that
reply -- @spiderman
somewhere, my high school bully is laughing and he doesn't know why
@ryanhills4
It's oddly uplifting to know that even Spiderman was bullied in highschool
reply -- @spiderman
i'm glad there's some good from it, i guess
@spiderman
this twitter has already gotten away from me and it's only been a couple months.
@spiderman
i'm not sure what my intent was when i logged on, actually. to connect with you? to waste time?
@spider_fan_man
I thought it was to get verified?
reply -- @spiderman
o ya
@spiderman
#verifyspiderman
@spiderman
man that started trending fast... hmm...
@spiderman
#stopcrime
@leohamato
Shit @Spiderman are you alright??? That explosion was crazy and no one saw you leave
reply -- @spiderman
still alive, thanks fam
@spiderman
google how to treat burns lmao
@spiderman
I'M KIDDING OMG
@spiderman
... mostly. thanks for those serious responses in the replies, they helped, ty
@stilllovesedwardcullen
Did you not go to the hospital @spiderman???
reply -- @spiderman
health insurance??? in this economy???
@spiderman
missed the fireworks bc i was sleepin but i heard y'all put my face (mask) in and that's pretty cool
@spiderman
ok since y'all notice when i disappear i don't want you to worry -- i can't tweet for a bit, i'll be back in like... a month. maybe.
@longlivespiders_
A MONTH?? I don't think I can live that long without your tweets!!!
reply -- @spiderman
lmao sorry fam it was phone bill or food this month and i like eating
@spiderman retweeted --
@spiderspot
Spiderspot of the Month!
(video: Spiderman shouting from a rooftop, "Be gay, don't do crimes!")
reply -- @spiderman
i regret to inform you that this must have been a cosplayer bc i do not remember doing this. however, that being said: be gay, don't do crimes
@greyheranatomy
I like how Spiderman said 'i do not remember doing this' as if there are things he might have done without remembering.
reply -- @spiderman
listen man, sometimes the nights get really long, and i see things on spiderspot that must've been me bc i was there, but i sure don't remember it. that's usually about when i take a nap
@spiderman retweeted --
@study_bud
hashtag let spiderman nap
@spiderman
so thanks to the tons of people who offered to pay my phone bill btw, i didn't end up taking any of you up on it bc i couldn't think how i would without exposing my identity or whatever. but my friend lent me the money and it's cool now
@jillybelly
i wish i was spiderman's friend...
reply -- @spiderman
you don't know, maybe i am.
reply -- @spiderman
no wait, i have a better answer. we are friends, aren't we?
@flowerpots_4
spiderman too pure, too good for this world
reply -- @spiderman
now i'm craving cinnamon rolls. mmmm.
@everythingchanges91
go get one? @spiderman
reply -- @spiderman
money. have one for me.
@jaseandmatt
you should open a patreon fam
reply -- @spiderman
a what
@spiderman
hey support me on patreon. anything donated beyond what i need to survive will be given to charity.
(link: Spiderman's Patreon)
@tron9000
I'm so happy to live in a world where I can witness Spiderman getting a Patreon and it's the most successful Patreon in three days.
reply -- @spiderman
nice place we live with some nice people. first charity is gonna be the trevor project. thanks everyone.
@spiderman
what do i gotta do to get verified now. i just hit a million followers.
@spiderman retweeted --
@lovespider_
#VERIFYSPIDERMAN ALREADY!!!
@artcrit_82
Hey @Spiderman are you okay?
reply -- @spiderman
this tweet freaked me out bc i haven't been hurt today so i started patting myself down like 'wait what do they know that i don't'.
@artcrit_82
You screamed 'OH FUCK' when swinging by my place earlier
reply -- @spiderman
i.... dropped my croissant
@spiderman
i regret replying to that tweet now, i've exposed myself.
@spiderman
i am a simple spider, i laughed at every single reply that had the iconic vine in it
@moonenthusiastcris
Spidey be that friend you can tell the same joke to over and over and they laugh each time like it's new
reply -- @spiderman
please don't reveal my secret identity cris
@spiderman
if i told you it was my birthday @twitter would you verify me
@spiderman
thanks for all the birthday wishes. it's not my birthday tho, i just said 'if i told you'
@spiderman
that would be an amateur secret identity mistake
@_calamari_
now we know the 364 days of the year that it MIGHT be spidey's birthday
reply -- @spiderman
good optimism. still not verified however.
@freedomfor
I love that spiderman's patreon just says 'i'm spiderman' and it's a selfie of him and that's IT we are fools for this spider i love him so much
reply -- @spiderman
i love you too maria i'm glad you like my minimalistic profile created by sheer indecision
@spiderman
at this point i feel like i want the idea of getting verified more than i actually want to get verified
@dontlookatme
we gonna be poppin the biggest bottles when spidey gets verified
reply -- @spiderman
don't curse me like that
@spiderman
wait
@spiderman
what's that... little blue checkmark...
@spiderman
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
@spiderman
suck on THAT, crime! i'm one VERIFIED SPIDER BAYBEEEEE
@spiderman
i take it back the idea of being verified is NOTHING compared to the real thing
@spiderman
only took six months and almost five million followers!!!
@spiderman
i'm gonna go do a backflip off a skyscraper brb
@spiderman
i'm thinking burgers
@spiderman
i consistently feel terrible every single time i use the money from the patreon but i have gotten so many messages abt how you guys wanna increase my quality of life so
@spiderman
i'm trying to force myself to genuinely consider what i want and get it
@spiderman
in the interest of transparency, so far with the patreon money i've paid for: rent, utilities, health insurance, and a heated blanket. i'm doing groceries today. let's get this bread.
@spiderman
Oh My God How Am I Going To Do My Income Taxes
@spiderman
no you don't understand i'm legitimately having a crisis here how i am gonna do them without revealing myself aaaaa
@fitzb
Lawyer here: if you set up a not-for-profit organization, we could possibly find a way to insure your anonymity.
reply -- @spiderman
bless your lawyer heart. how do i do that?
@fitzb
Myself and others in this thread would be happy to assist.
reply -- @spiderman
i'll shoot you a DM
@spiderman
this just in -- i won't have to commit tax fraud!
@spiderman
thanks to my new friends with the Spiderman Support Team for setting up the not-for-profit. all of which are wonderful people who i now have a groupchat with. i've never had a groupchat before, you guys. this is kinda the best day of my life.
@hannaheverett
I've gotten a lot of questions since I joined the Spiderman Support Team, and yes, Spidey does send memes to the groupchat. Usually at about four in the morning.
reply -- @spiderman
sorry i keep weird hours.
@spiderman
friend: who are you texting
me: just some friends
friend: you don't have any other friends than me
me, sweating: they're from work
@spiderman
i stg if that's the tweet that exposes me to my friend, i'm gonna be pissed. if you had a conversation with your friend recently that went like that please just let them live their life and don't accuse them of being spiderman
@spiderman
i don't know if you can tell but i get extremely antsy the moment i started even vaguely hinting at my life, completely convinced it's going to be the thing to expose me
@keithkoganekinnie
was that you @spiderman at the denny's on fifth or was that a cosplayer
reply -- @spiderman
god i wish that were me. cosplayer.
@insomnia_king
Why do you wish that were you? @spiderman
reply -- @spiderman
i spent the entire night getting covered in slime. i hate slime
@spiderman
y'all ever tired to wash off slime? it doesn't. it just gets slimier.
@spiderman
i hate being alive.
@roses_arent_red
Is that existential humor or a legit cry for help @Spiderman?
reply -- @spiderman
lmao it's been a long night, nap time
@spiderman
oh my god i didn't think i've ever say this but i like my day job. i like doing things that aren't getting the shit kicked out of me. i know i am totally covered by the patreon and the support group but honestly i'm keeping hours at my day job bc like
@spiderman
if this was the only thing i did, i don't think i could do it for very long
@spiderman
plus wth would i tell my family. yeah i'm not working but i inexplicably have money to support myself. no big.
@spiderman
i'm tired so
@spideyspideyspideyspidey
I'm worried about Spiderman... anyone else worried about Spiderman
reply -- @spiderman
whoops sorry i shall return to the witty replies
@ace_delia
Hey @SpiderMan you said a while ago that you didn't know why you started the twitter, and i think it WAS to connect with us, and part of that is providing us with an (as honest as you can be) honest picture of yourself so we can love you for you. So don't think you gotta hide behind your humor, we want to hear from you!
reply -- @spiderman
thanks delia but if i didn't hide behind my humor then i would've been dead long before now! i do appreciate the sentiment though
@spiderman
i don't actually know if my friend is aware that spiderman's twitter exists and i'm too afraid to ask bc that might tip them off, but also i need to know if they're reading it so i can tweet about them bc they're the best and they make me laugh so hard
@spiderman
hopefully this is vague enough: they have found something that makes me laugh and has gone to great lengths to surprise me with this thing and get me to laugh at random times
@harv_princey
i'd like to personally thank spider's friend for being wonderful. i'm just so... RELIEVED that someone cares about him, the 'real' him or whatever
reply -- @spiderman
yeah fam i'm good, i've got some amazing people who love me. no worries.
@spiderman
that's kinda, uh, the whole point of the secret identity thing, you know? i don't want them ever to be hurt bc of me
@spiderman
it's not bc i wanna be mysterious, or to avoid accountability, it's for them. all of this, it's for them.
@jackspecticstan
Who else thinks Spidey's friend has recognized he's been down lately and was making him laugh on purpose? *raises hand*
reply -- @spiderman
very likely. i'm lucky to have them.
@spiderman
also shoutout to the spiderman support groupchat who has been doing something similar. i have so many spider memes saved on my phone rn it's a serious threat to my secret identity lmao
@spiderman
twitter help i found a dog
@l_is_for_lesbian
pic of the dog?? @spiderman
reply -- @spiderman
right sorry i'm tired, here you go
(photo: spidey taking a selfie with a curly red labradoodle in his lap)
@spiderman
no leads on this dog so uhhhhhhh i guess i gotta bring it home
@spiderman
i regret showing the pic on twitter bc now i'm like... someone is gonna see the Real Me with the dog and figure it out when i take him out to pee.
@spiderman
or her? i think maybe her.
@engineeringbitch
Walk the dog in your Spiderman uniform? @Spiderman
reply -- @spiderman
while entirely tempting, my fear then would be that someone would know the block-radius of where i live
@spiderman
thankfully the situation was resolved before i needed to think of a solution! thanks to twitter for getting word out and helping me find the dog's owner. y'all are great.
@arabicbabe_
Reading SpiderMan's tweets about the lengths he goes to preserve his identity and the mental gymnastics he does when worrying about has got me thinking like a secret superhero all the time now.
reply -- @spiderman
sorry for the second hand anxiety lmao
@spiderman retweeted --
@fitzb
A lot of you have been sending us tweets in concern for Spiderman who has been silent on Twitter for over a week, and I can confirm that he messaged the groupchat this morning, no harm.
@spiderman
no harm except for this SWEET, SWEET FLU
@spiderman
oooh nooooooooooooo
@doctorwhom
what???? what @spiderman omg don't leave us hanging
reply -- @spiderman
i fucked up!
@spiderman
after all that angsting over not revealing myself, it's the STUPID FLU TWEET THAT GETS ME
@spiderman
turns out if your best friend spends two days trying to rehydrate you after you puke your guts out, they tend to take notice when Spiderman tweets shortly after that he had the fucking flu
@spiderman
Oh My God i was so out of it i didn't even think i'm such an idiot
@melody_crows
Holy shit!! how did they react?
reply -- @spiderman
like a mcfreakin champ, that's how. they're not like, 100% surprised, but they still said they'd support me and all that good stuff. understood my reasons for keeping it secret and vowed to do the same. everything's coming up milhouse
@spiderman
i actually kinda can't overstate how much this is a weight off my shoulders rn
@spiderman
like i know you all noticed but i was in a really shitty place mentally and this was incredibly freeing, and i kinda feel normal again, for once.
@spiderman
huge, enormous shoutout to my best friend M, i couldn't do any of this without you
@spiderman
M, after reading that tweet: oh honey i know
@saturnsrings
consider me the first fucking member of the M Fanclub
reply -- @spiderman
second member, i knew them first
@xanderhelps
petition for M to get twitter????
reply -- @spiderman
they don't think that's a great idea bc they don't wanna risk my identity, but they're willing to tweet through this account. watch out for any tweets signed with M, that's 100% them
@spiderman
Hey twitter. Spidey is still super crashed from being sick, so i'm forcing him to sleep now. ask me stuff and i might answer. -m
@skullydidnowrong
Spiderman said that you weren't completely surprised, what tipped you off?
reply -- @spiderman
Oh man, well, I've known Spidey for a long time. When your best friend suddenly starts vanishing and being totally flaky, you do notice. I didn't exactly think 'superhero' but I can't say I discounted it either. -m
@carriearts
hey m can you tell us a fun fact about @spiderman?
reply -- @spiderman
I'm trying to think of something but it all seems like it could somehow be used against him lmao. he's a nerd? -m
@doglover_223
hi M it's nice to meet you!! can you give him a hug for us pleaseee? @spiderman
reply -- @spiderman
he just woke up and I gave him a hug for you. he said: oof. -m
@spiderman
ok M is going home now say byeeee
@spiderman
i'm still sleeby
@spiderman
apparently when M was reading all your tweets they saw someone suggest a weighted blanket, so now i have one of those. thank you whoever suggested that, it's awesome.
@spiderman
unspecified family-member was over and asked me if i got the blanket bc i enjoy the struggle
reply -- @spiderman
(yes. i do)
@hellogoodbye_09
aren't you worried about unspecified family-member seeing these tweets and figuring you out? @spiderman
reply -- @spiderman
if unspecified family-member even knows what twitter is, i'll eat my suit
@spiderman
me: hey unspecified family member do you know what twitter is?
ufm: twitter?
me: yeah
ufm: never heard of it. is it contagious?
my suit is safe
@localnycidiot
so @spiderman why can't you be more specific if they're not on twitter?
reply -- @spiderman
i'm not censoring them to avoid having them find me, i'm doing it to protect them.
@linguistic00competence
here's a spiderspot -- @spiderman laid on this roof for an hour. i was about to call an ambulance. (photo)
reply -- @spiderman
M saw this tweet and texted it to me directly with angry emojis. twitter has turned against me.
@sophiedamson
ok @spiderman so why were you lying on the roof then??
reply -- @spiderman
I'M SLEEBY!!!!
@spiderman retweeted --
@sandsoftime
As a member of the Spiderman Support Group, I can say that Spiderman is in fact fine, despite any rooftop laying about he was up to this weekend
@spiderman
what's a gunshot wound between friends anyway
@spiderman
me, tweeting that, and immediately my phone blows up from both M and the Support groupchat: oh right i miss it when it was just me tweeting nonsense into the void and no one could call me out on it
@spiderman
can there be like, less crime right now. i'm super tired.
@spiderman
geez!!! i said less, not more
@spiderman
oh whoops
@abundanceofkath
I get like a pavlovian response to tweets like that @spiderman what's wrong???
reply -- @spiderman
hmm. i think i may need a doctor.
@spiderman
wow sorry for the radio silence following that truly ominous tweet, but huge shoutout to @doctorreid in the replies who helped me out immensely and i am still alive, as you gathered from various tweets from my support group. always check with them if i'm silent here! M is in the groupchat now and is
@spiderman
legs on the ground for those folks. she came by and checked up on me following the wonderful homemade facetime surgery doctor reid talked me through
@spiderman
woof urgh i gave a pronoun for M, you've all seen it now so i won't bother deleteing. that's what i get for tweeting while exhausted. anyway, M uses she/her, but would like you all to know that gender is a social construct anyway.
@spiderman
i'm going to bed goodnight
@concruncher62
aw! i wanted to spidespot tonight. :-( @spiderman gnight....
reply -- @spiderman
i lied i got up and went out anyway. where you at i'll come wave
@spiderman retweeted
@concruncher62
this is the best night of my entire life
(photo: spiderman upside down waving in a window frame)
@spiderman retweeted
@doctorreid
Following my slight fame with Spiderman, we've created something called the Spidernetwork. It's a collection of specialized human beings that Spiderman can call upon during moments of trial, like doctors but also firefighters, lawyers, builders, really anything that requires special knowledge. DM me if you're willing to pass a security check to join the crew.
@spiderman
anyone asking if your skill is worth joining, yes. i've needed information from anything from architects to sewer maintenance. you never know what's gonna come up in my line of work.
@spiderman
i just slept. so much.
@spiderman
you don't understand. i haven't slept that long without being unconcious in like. omg so long.
@lakesidelife
@spiderman omg that doesn't sound healthy???
reply -- @spiderman
what about my life made you think i'm in any way healthy hahaha
@spiderman
someone give me tv show suggestions
@spiderman
and then i spent seventeen hours watching new girl instead of sleeping. twitter is truly the most dangerous foe i face.
@youcouldntspellitanyway
lol @spiderman did you hear they're making a cartoon about you?
reply -- @spiderman
i did hear actually, they reached out through the spidernetwork and i gave them the go ahead. i figured what was the worst that could happen? then i immediately came up with a hundred worse case scenarios. but whatever, for the kids
@brandon_cave
reading @spiderman tweet makes me think that's what anxiety sounds like
reply -- @spiderman
ding ding ding
@catskitten72
you have anxiety too??? and you're a superhero? wow i didn't get out of bed this morning
reply -- @spiderman
mental illness is not a competition don't worry. i struggle in different ways, just like anyone with anxiety does. it varies between people. it doesn't make anyone's suffering any less
@june_bug_
do you see a therapist @spiderman
reply -- @spiderman
in this economy
@westernsoulxx
isn't that what the patreon is for?
reply -- @spiderman
ok but consider this, secret identity
@hanzo_main
didn't you set up the Spidernetwork recently? isn't there a therapist in there you could use?
reply -- @spiderman
ok consider this then, secret identity and anxiety over revealing my secret identity
@kpopsavedme
you could attend therapy as spiderman and not even talk abt your real self
reply -- @spiderman
i mean, read that back to yourself and think about if that sounds healthy lmao
@spiderman
for the record, i've said for years that he should go to therapy - m
@spiderman
obv there's a lot abt spidey's life y'all don't know and i'll just say that any problems he has didn't start w putting a suit on - m
@spiderman
not helped by the suit, of course. and now it's made harder by it to get any therapy. if i could possibly convince him that it would be safe to be open with a therapist, but no one in the world can make that guarantee - m
@spiderman
it's a leap of faith. and i say that not just to spidey but to all the people who have been following this conversation with their heart in their throat -m
@spiderman
thanks m. but it's fine. back to your regularly scheduled shenanigans
@coffinup99
the shenanigans are scheduled?? and here i am, being shenaniganned all wily nily
reply -- @spiderman
that's really the best kind, carry on
@spiderman
psa missing person alert (attached photo)
@spiderman
thanks for the lookouts. we were able to find her body and return her to her family for a proper burial. i appreciate the help as always.
@spiderman
i'm tired
@spiderman
i did see the signs you put up today as i swung around, it made my little spider heart beat faster. you are all too kind as always.
@spiderman
thank you for real. i'm really glad i've got this connection. i'm really glad you're all here
@spiderman
i'm not going anywhere and neither are you xox