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Graduation offered an escape back to Tokyo, where their real family was. As much as he liked the attic, he accepted Sojiro's offer to live in the house instead. Futaba was overjoyed, as were the rest of his friends and confidants. Living there taught Akira new skills as well!
— Like how to bite down on a blanket before screaming from a nightmare or how to breathe in a way that hides a panic attack.
They're fine though! Really, it's all fine.
The plan for today was to catch up with Haru, seeing as her new cafe in Kichijoji and classes had been eating up much of her free time. They had finished the tour of the cafe already and were wandering around the district, storm clouds darkening overhead.
"I know you said you were feeling better once you got out of your hometown, but you still seem exhausted, Akira," Haru said, "Did you get much sleep last night?"
"It's just me readjusting to city life, don't worry about it. Lots of…noises," Akira replied, definitely not telling her that he was up staring at the chess set again. Was it normal to still be this torn up about a death? Well, it did happen twice and both were his fault…
"It's already the end of June, though; surely you didn't forget that much in the last year?"
"What can I say? I'm a country boy at heart,"
"I can't say I believe that — oh?" Haru stopped, a peculiar look on her face. She held out a hand and Akira watched as some drops of rain fell onto it. With a low boom , the drops turned into a downfall in seconds. Haru grabbed Akira's hand and started running down the nearest alleyway seeking shelter from the sudden change in weather, the pair too far away from the covered mall. She led them down a set of stairs and it was only when the familiar notes of jazz instruments that Akira realized where she had accidentally brought them.
"Kurusu! I haven't seen you in ages — how've you been? Is Akechi doing alright?" Muhen asked. ' Fuck, does he still not know? Is he still holding out like…me?' Akira thought. They looked at the bartender, opening and closing their mouth multiple times to force out that they hadn't seen Him in over a year since He was in hiding because He was definitely not dead.
"Did you and Akechi come here back then? I love this atmosphere," Haru asked Akira, then offering her hand to Muhen, "Okumura Haru; one of Akira's friends,"
"Oh, Okumura! You opened the cafe down near the second-hand store, right? My wife loves that place,"
"I'm glad! I'm curious though, does.."
Akira's mind tuned out the rest of the conversation, his mind turning in on itself again. 'This was Our place,' it hissed, ' No one else. This was His special place and now the seal is broken. How could you?'
'Haru is still a friend, it's fine,' Akira mentally pleaded.
' A friend who She killed the father of. Haru doesn't want to hear about Him unless you want her to fall into her own pain and memories. She shouldn't have to suffer that,"
"Table 11 over by the bar area would be the spot I'd recommend for the two of you," Muhen said, breaking Akira out of their thoughts. Akira looked over at the table and saw a spectator of Him at the table, His eyes lit up when Akira pulled out the mobile chess set he bought. As Haru's hand touched the table, She disappeared, leaving the chairs as if they were never moved.
At table nine, Akira could see Him snotting while He laughed for the first time Akira had witnessed. She kept trying to apologize for it all while She just kept laughing and laughing. Another blink, and He was gone.
At table five, way in the back where the music had been muffled, Her head was gently bobbing up and down as She tried staying awake. As Akira's eyes drifted toward the stage area, more and more of Him appeared at the tables. Their gaze finally landed on the singer who stepped up to the microphone. Wait…was that —
"People come and they go… "
'I can't do this,' Akira thought, looking around the room at all of His ghosts.
'You better not let Haru know that then. She wouldn't want to comfort someone breaking down over her father's killer. So either hold it in or ruin her day,'
"Akira? Are you alright?" Haru asked, her hand grasping his arm. It was cool from the drink (when had that gotten there?) and temporarily snapped them to their senses.
"I'm-gonna-brave-the-rain-please-let-me-go," Akira managed to get out.
"What? Akira, you're clearly — "
He yanked his arm away, his arm stinging where her grip was, and all but ran for the door. 'Good,' their brain thought, 'You don't deserve to grief in His most sacred graveyard," Akira nodded in agreement, looking back at the Jazz Jin for the last time. In looking, they missed the curb and tripped onto the pavement, getting instantly soaked in the pouring rain. Despite the warm summer air, it chilled him down to the bone; eroding the floodgates he had for whenever he was outside his room.
'I could've stopped Him I should have talked to Him more or gotten Him to open up or admitted to Him earlier that I understood or knew I should've pulled Him forward before the gate closed I should've launched myself to His side I should've but — '
'But you didn't,'
He curled up in the rain, letting his tears flow freely since no one could tell the difference between them and the raindrops. Maybe everyone will walk by them, or even right through them, as just another lost soul in the middle of Tokyo. Maybe the rain was loud enough to distract everyone from the thing gasping for air on the ground — the worthless, pathetic creature that could've saved everyone if it tried harder but didn't. It was the leader of the Phantom Thieves at one point, and Phantom Thieves didn't kill. The ground opening up and erasing it from the Earth would be too much of a mercy —
The rain stopped. A shadow was hovering over it. Pink coat, auburn hair (Is it Her? No, She'd never wear pink.), an umbrella — who would step in to protect it from the rain?
"Akira, you're going to get sick," the person said in a quiet tone, "Come back under the awning,"
'You deserve to decay here,' the voice in its head whispered, 'She'll leave eventually,' It couldn't help but agree. As it lay there, it realized that the tears weren't disguised as raindrops anymore. That was fine, though, because eventually she would connect the dots and realize what it was grieving over, even two years later, and then she would leave.
It didn't know how much time had passed, but it was darker out, and the person was still there. Her arm must be tired from holding the umbrella. And her clothes were soaked through since she decided to sit on the ground with it. It reached forward to touch the edge of the skirt, the fabric thoroughly waterlogged.
"It'll get wet in the wash anyway," the person said, "Do you want to come back under the awning now?"
'No,' is what its brain first thought.
'...But if I don't move, she won't,' it replied, not quite sure why wanted her safe. It tried moving part of itself, a leg maybe, but everything felt numb.
"Good job, Akira! Can you try straightening out your back for me?" she encouraged. It tried focusing on something higher than what was presumably its leg and felt the whole body shift. More encouraging noises came from the person, and it felt a small trickle of joy.
"I'm going to move your arm a bit now, is that alright?" she asked. It nodded, the loose gravel scraping against its cheek, and felt its arm move up so that the end of the arm was flat on the ground. "Now, I want you to push yourself away from the Earth. You're leaving now, launching yourself into orbit," 'That's where we belong. Kilometers away from anyone who could get hurt, just another piece of space debris,'
It did as the person said, and with a force it didn't remember it had the body was lifted, water cascading off of it. With more unknown muscle groups, it joined the other person in the same position.
"My name is Haru if you don't remember," she said. 'Haru,' it thought, 'Haru, Haru, Haru — why was Haru still out here with me?' it thought (It. It?) "Do you know where we are?"
It (that...wasn't correct) looked behind her and saw a flickering neon sign reading 'Jazz Jin'. Fun name, fond memories…
Beautiful ghosts.
He felt cold again, his limbs shivering. Did…did it really just freak out in front of Haru? How long has he been out here? How long has she been out here?
'This wasn't supposed to happen,' its mind growled, 'No one wants to deal with this,'
"I'm sorry," was the first thing out of their mouth, their throat dry from crying before and the dehydration headache setting in.
"Why don't we talk out of the rain?" Haru said, rising from the ground. She offered a hand and he carefully took it, noticing how chilled he was. With a firm grip, he was pulled upward and stumbled forward. Step by step, their legs still numb, they made it to cover near the buildings and Haru put her umbrella away.
"I'm sorry you had to deal with that," Akira said, "I should've handled that better. And now you're probably gonna get sick because of me — of all people I wanted you and Futaba to never see me like that,"
"So this has happened before," she replied, "When did it start?"
"You don't have to pretend to care, especially since you know who it's about — "
"Don't tell me what I can and can't care about, Akira," There was a fire in her eyes as she leaned more into their space, "Now answer the question,"
"...December of my second year," He finally admitted, "But it's fine, really, I've been dealing with it — "
"Collapsing in the middle of the street for hours isn't dealing with it, Akira!"
"It's my fault He's dead so it's my burden to bear! I'll try to hold it in until I get home next time, I'm sorry,"
"That's not the point behind all this! We're a team, so let us help you," Haru said, pulling out her phone, "This deserves an emergency meeting; we've been ignorant of your situation for too long,"
"Don't, Haru, please! You all shouldn't have to figure out how to deal with me and…"
"And you 'don't deserve it'? Is that what you're going to say?" Haru asked. Akira nodded in response. "Do you want to get help? I'd like verbal confirmation,"
"I don't want help,"
Haru sighed and dragged a hand across her face, putting her phone away soon after. She got out her umbrella and stepped away from the wall, leaving Akira standing alone.
"I won't force you to get help, but when you finally want to move on from this ghost then give one of us a text. Futaba would be a good place to start, given what I've heard about her own Palace,"
"She's not going to want to help — this is entirely different,"
Haru looked at him, really looked at him, like the way that He used to look at him. A gaze that sunk deep to the core of their psyche.
"You can't put on a mask for every interaction and get people to react how you want. Let me know when you have a change of heart," She said before walking off into the rain. It was then that Akira understood Her original point about the Phantom Thieves as they detected the hidden meaning behind the words:
' Have a change of heart yourself or we'll force you to,'