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The day was finally over. It was finally spring break. Students rushed out of classrooms, filtering through the doors to their parents and buses. Teachers were able to take a breath. To pause.
Silence.
Jonah, a student of Melissa’s, brought her a present. He was proud of his card. One he made to pop up when one opened the green construction paper. With everything happening at Abbott, his mother felt he should show appreciation for one of his favorite teachers. It also gave her the excuse to send a little treat to the faculty. Donuts were laid out on the table in the lounge that morning.
“Oh, Jonah, this is wonderful!” Melissa smiled, her red readers perched on the bridge of her nose. He grinned bashfully. A gift basket of cheeses and sweets sat in front of her. Wrapped in plastic that crinkled and turned heads as she ripped it open to grab the card. It was from his mother.
Mrs. Howell was a fine woman. She attended every event at the school, was a part of the PTA, and befriended Melissa during parent-teacher conferences. Melissa liked her because she always showed up on time. She would call and email asking if Melissa needed to speak with her. Melissa always gave her a choice.
“No, it’s up to you. Jonah is doing well in class,” she would always say. The last conference that Mrs. Howell came to was only a few weeks ago. The threat of Abbott turning charter spooked the teachers. Melissa’s focus was further eroded by drama with her sister and her hesitation with Gary. Not to mention teaching two classes at once with no aide.
-
“Are you doing okay?” Mrs. Howell asked, chatting with the teacher the night of the conference.
Melissa scoffed. “That’s a loaded question.”
They make small talk about her classes: teaching ten third graders alongside her already two students over the max second-grade class; how she and Barbara would meet after school for drinks; and how she’d actually revisited a vice that she should have never picked back up.
“Oh, wow,” Mrs. Howell frowned. “You two do so much for this school. You need a vacation.”
“I need to take my baseball bat to an old car or somethin’,” Melissa countered. They share a laugh before Melissa checks the time.
“Jonah is doing great as always. He’s going to have a wonderful time in third grade.” Melissa stands, signaling the end of the conversation. “I think he might be in my class.”
“You’re teaching two grades again next year?” Mrs. Howell furrowed her brow. Melissa’s smile is crooked before she laughs. It had to be funny. Or she just might lose her mind.
“Really? Jeez, I can’t imagine. Well, thank you,” Mrs. Howell responded. “I hope you get to take a breather soon. Spring break is just around the corner.”
“Ah, you and me both.”
Jonah was nose-deep in a book before his mother turned and grabbed his bag for them to leave. Melissa sighed, watching them as he skipped out of the door. She collects her bags, ready to head home. Barbara, as always, joined her on the walk to their cars. A girls’ night was needed; it was Melissa’s turn to cook.
“Well, that’s nice,” Barbara said, hearing of the parent's concern for them. “Glad someone cares.”
“It is.”
“Jonah was an exceptional child in my class,” Barbara recalls, her brow furrowed. The two retreated to Melissa’s, full glasses of wine poured for both of them.
“He reminds me of your Javion.”
The two smile over their shared experiences with the student. He was eager to learn. He was always reading, always asking questions.
“Did you see the email about required-“
“Yes and I’m still not going.” Melissa laughs, taking a swig of her drink.
“Do you think that’s smart? With everything…”
“I don’t care. I’m not going. We did that for ten years when we first got there, it was on them for not having those meetings since then. Quiz me if you want. I’m not goin’. I’ve got more important things to do.”
“Me too. But that was a pretty serious sign off. Even for Ava.”
Melissa thought, nodding. There was a moment between them of silence. Melissa thought back to her student. The conversation that day circling in her mind.
“You think we’ll get another year of students like them?” Melissa asked, her wine glass by her lips.
“I hope so. I’m worried about this whole charter business. Have you heard anything from your sister about it?”
Barbara’s eyes watched as Melissa went through the motions looking for an answer. Melissa sneered at the mention of Kristin Marie.
“No. I have not.”
The night was young, but Barbara was turning into a pumpkin quickly. A long day and a nice glass of wine with a friend were enough to relax her for the forthcoming break. She needed to head home anyway to help Gerald with tasks around the house before the night was over.
-
Melissa scanned the basket, excited for the artisanal cheeses to cook with that night.
“My mom said that this gift card is for you and Mrs. Howard,” Jonah said, pulling it out of the basket.
It was a two-credit gift card for ‘The Break Room.’ A new experience in town. Melissa chuckled, seeing the name. Mrs. Howell always went above and beyond for her teachers. She really took it to heart what Melissa said about beating up an old car.
“Tell your mother thank you from the two of us. And thank you for this wonderful card,” Melissa smiled, sending the child back to his seat.
She was excited to show Barbara what she’d been gifted. They were going to have fun. What could be better than throwing bottles at a wall and using crowbars and bats to beat up an old television?
When Melissa showed Barbara the letter, she looked at Melissa with concern.
“And is this legal?” she asked.
“Yes.” Melissa rolled her eyes. “It’s better than me walkin’ down the street with ol’ Betsy and banging up cars that are stupidly parked.” Melissa’s grin is lazy.
“Well, this is true.”
“Come on, Barb. It could be fun! Live a little. Plus, it’s already been paid for.” There’s a slight whine in Melissa’s voice. Barbara shoots a look, questioning if Melissa thinks she doesn’t lead a fun life before she caves and agrees to join her.
Barbara wasn’t a physical person like Melissa. She would never be caught in a fight. However, something about using a bat to destroy something always intrigued her. But she was a gentle person. A regal person. One who used words over anything and would not be seen destroying any property. (Unless it was called for.) However, she was on the Church softball team when she was younger. She could swing a bat.
-
They chose to go on Tuesday during the break. Barbara’s vacation got postponed to the summer so her daughters could join, and Melissa and Gary had no plans of going anywhere. Maybe up to the Jersey shore, but that wouldn’t be until later in the week. Melissa showed up at Barbara’s wearing black skinny jeans and her signature pink top.
“You’re wearin’ that?”
Barbara looks down at her choice of attire, brushing her hands over her nice top while a string of pearls lay delicately over her chest.
“Why? Should I not?”
“Barb, we’re about to put on like…hazmat suits and helmets,” Melissa said, a slight laugh behind her words.
“Oh. Well, let me change. Give me a minute,” Barbara said, returning to her room.
With Barbara gone, Melissa got a second with Gerald. The two of them had an ease to their conversations that most find hard to obtain. Melissa sits into her hip, joking and pulling dark humor from her arsenal as they chat about the year. Comments about Barbara that would cause her to roll her eyes.
“Are you keeping Barb in line?”
“Just pulling her further and further to the dark side.”
Gerald smirked, his head bouncing as he laughed.
“She is my wife. That’s my duty.”
A low belly laugh came from the man as he gripped the banister for balance. Melissa laughed with him, looking to see Barbara in what she considered her “gardening outfit.” Something to wear to play in the dirt. They applauded as she descended the stairs, waving to her subjects.
“You two have fun. Have her home by curfew!” Gerald jokes.
“Alright, Mr. Howard!”
The ladies run to the car together, arm in arm and giggling. A sense of youth as they walk. Melissa had never been so ready to break something and not get in trouble for it.
“Settle down, girlfriend.” Barbara's smile is soft, with warmth, as she sees Melissa grinning as though she’s just won the lottery.
“I’m just- this is going to be so fun, Barb.”
“You know you can’t bring that in with you?” Barbara quirks an eyebrow at Melissa clutching one of her metal baseball bats.
“What? I can’t-”
“It says on the website they provide everything. You’ll get a new bat to use. Save that for another time,” Barbara laughed. Melissa sighed, laying the loved bat on the backseat like a fragile, sleeping baby.
Melissa walked in, adrenaline pumping like a kid in a candy store. Barbara followed a step behind, her head down. Being out in public with Melissa Schemmenti always meant heads would turn. It had been like that for decades. Not only were they at the newest attraction in town, but they were also right next to the mall. What were the odds of her seeing Delisha Sloss walking into the Belk or the parent from her most recent conference? And to beat her problems out with a bat rather than asking for the Lord’s help in prayer? Scandalous.
She kept to herself as they approached the desk.
The teenager stared at the middle-aged women in front of them. Usually, their clients were young—college-age who just wanted to break something for fun.
“You’re in room 1G,” they said. “You have um…two baseball bats, a set of golf clubs in there to use. There are a dozen bottles, a few liquor bottles, a television set, a radio, some plates, and…” they read off of their computer, “a few random office-supply items like a keyboard and stuff.”
“Wow, how much was this room?” Melissa asked. That room sounded extravagant. She’d looked at their prices before they left the house. It wasn’t cheap. But Mrs. Howell had already requested what room and what was to be put in there.
“There is a note not to tell you how much the room was on the reservation…”
Melissa thought for a second. She could force the answer. But there was no need. She was ready to go.
“Alright, well. We’re ready.”
The two were escorted to a locker room, where they hung their bags and slipped on a jumpsuit to keep shards from sneaking into their clothes. Jewelry was removed and placed into their purses. Plastic face shields were given to them as well as helmets and gloves. They looked ready for demolition.
Melissa felt as though she would jump out of her skin. She was so excited. Usually, she had to drive all the way to the junkyard with her cousins to get to do this. Granted, that was free. But was also subject to a pretty hefty fine if caught. Barbara was as composed as ever walking into the room.
“Room is yours for the next hour. Just so youse know, there’s cameras in here, but it’s all for safety. If you have an emergency, there is a red button right here at the door, it will signal us, and we’ll come to help. Please, no throwing things at each other or anything like that. If you want to book more time or more items, see me at the front desk, and we’ll also get that situated for you. Enjoy and happy breaking!” the worker smiled.
Melissa grinned, seeing everything in the room available to her disposal. This was her Disneyworld. Barbara began to speak, noting what she saw, but she was stopped by the sound of glass shattering against the concrete wall.
“Oh-,” she gasped, looking towards the falling pieces of green.
“Come on, Barb! We only got an hour.”
Melissa’s smile as though of the devil as she handed Barbara a glass bottle. A bullseye was painted on the wall. Melissa’s throws were a little too on point for Barbara’s liking, hitting the center almost every time. Plates were thrown and bottles broke as laughter filled the room.
“Ma lady,” Melissa smiled, handing Barbara one of the baseball bats like a sword for a knight going into battle.
“Oh, I think I want this.”
Barbara walked past her, grabbing the thickest golf club in the bag. It was heavy. It could do some damage. And damage it did. While Barbara whacked the radio, Melissa swung away at the television.
She was getting it out the best way she knew how. Destruction. At least it was directed at the TV and not herself. She began listing her stressors as casually as a grocery list.
“Thirty-five students in one classroom. Gary’s…a-and Kristin Marie,” she grunted through gritted teeth. Her swings got bigger and bigger as she beat the large television. Parts flew everywhere as her face reddened. Her breathing grew heavy as she swung again and again.
Barbara enjoyed going at the radio, finally being able to let go in front of eyes she trusted. She didn’t have to clean it up later. And she didn’t have to replace it. She didn’t realize what Melissa was doing until she watched a flame of red hair run past her as Melissa grabbed a golf club. She swung with great force against the glass of the television screen. The sound echoed through the room. Barbara could hear her screams and grunts like a tennis player hitting the ball back to his opponent. And though she was loud, the buzzing of the lights that created an uneasiness in the room still filled the silence.
Melissa’s teeth sneered as sweat glimmered on her forehead. Her eyes wide. The anger in them made the green pop out and burn into the reflection of the broken shards. Suddenly Barbara’s stomach dropped. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.
“And the FUCKING-,” Melissa screamed. No sentences were finished. Barbara barely knew what she was yelling about. There was so little context. She hadn’t even realized she was just standing, watching her friend. She’d paused everything like a statue. She couldn’t take her eyes off the woman. She thought they were coming here for fun and laughing and throwing things at a wall together—a fun way to relieve their stress of the year.
“I’m losing it,” Melissa whispered. “Gary, Abbott, Kristin Marie,” she listed. A hit to the glass bottles with every word. She didn’t even notice the hot tears that streamed down her face. Barbara had never heard the woman speak like this. And Melissa could yell. She could scream, and she was someone to be frightened of. But this? This was different. Barbara’s breath hitched, finally making out the words she heard. They grew louder and faster, her list becoming a string of apologies and profanities.
“We’re gonna lose Abbott. I’m going to lose Abbott. I can’t lose Abbott. To fucking Legendary Chater.”
“No, we’re not,” Barbara said calmly. No use. Melissa couldn’t hear her.
“I need- I’m old. Why would he love me? There’s nothing to love except used parts,” she said, her breath hot. “Joe…fucked me up for the rest of you. I can’t trust- I won’t,” she said.
All of the thoughts in her mind swirled together. They were eating her alive. She was scratching for help inside a coffin, her fingers bleeding against the wood as they poured shovel after shovel of dirt on top. She was kicking and fighting for her life under the waves of a vast ocean that crashed over her. She just wanted to breathe. God, she just wanted air. She needed it. She couldn’t.
“Melissa-“
“Come on Barb! We’re having fun! This is fun-“
A hearty laugh bellowed from the woman. Maybe if she lied to herself she would make it through the rest of the hour. Maybe if she tricked herself that everything was fine and nothing was real, then everything would be fine, and nothing was real . Her makeup had been smeared and her laughs soon turned into sobs. Melissa’s mind betrayed her, reminding her of things of the past. The last brick of Jenga that was pulled, hindering the structure. Faster than it was built it toppled to the ground.
“I promised you-” Melissa screamed. Her throat burned. It shredded. “I promised I would…I can’t - I’m sorry. Nonna, I’m-”
Her knees burned. They ached. They bruised. She could hear the thud of them hitting the concrete. The metal golf club clanked onto the floor as Melissa fell to the ground. She ripped off her mask and threw it across the room as she cupped her face into her hands. Everything was in slow motion. Sounds distorted around her. As though her head was under water, her cries and Barbara’s voice muffled and muted.
Barbara cautiously approached the woman. Her heart was pounding. She had just stood and watched this woman explode. A ticking time bomb that was bound to go off, and the red numbers finally hit zero. She’d never been so scared for Melissa. She knew that Melissa was going through a lot. A lot of self-depreciation. A lot of useless help from her sister. Guilt. Ugly guilt. The school had started to lose its fight. There was probably more that even she didn’t know about.
“Oh my God,” Barbara mutters to herself, wrapping her arms around her friend. Melissa’s hand reached to grab Barbara’s arm. It clung. She could feel Melissa’s nails digging into the meat of her arm, even with the heavy gloves. Melissa wanted to bite down on something. She needed something to dull whatever was happening in her mind. A sedative. She wanted to continue to pound at the television. And throw the bottles against the wall. And to fall into a deep hole where no one could find her, not even Barbara.
She wanted her legs to move. To work. To run away. But she stayed. Barbara helped her stay.
Tears fled Barbara’s eyes as she whispered words into Melissa’s ear. Melissa couldn’t hear them. She didn’t know what Barbara was saying. But she could feel the rumble in Barbara’s chest that pressed against her back.
“It’s fine, we’re fine. No one is hurt…,” Barbara said, one of the workers rushing in.
“Are you sure?” They inched towards the women.
“Please-...she’ll be okay. I’ve got her. We just…need a minute.”
They still had 15 minutes of their time in the room. And they were going to use it. The worker nodded and left the room, shutting the door behind them.
Melissa babbled apologies, still on the ground, grabbing onto Barbara. Because Barbara was her lifesaver that had been thrown into the ocean, keeping her afloat. The waves were still too big, pushing her under the water again and again, but at least she didn’t have to work so hard. She worked so hard.
“It’s okay,” Barbara’s voice shook. “Oh, God, give me strength,” she whispered, trying to slow her heart rate. Melissa’s sobs echoed in the room. Barbara flinched every time.
“Mel, it’s okay. I’m here. I promise you I’m here. I’m right here.”
For a second, Barbara wished that she could release in this way. This visceral reaction to everything tumbling down. It was still falling for her. She’d not hit the ground yet.
“Please don’t-,” Melissa gasped, feeling Barbara move. She wasn’t leaving. She just needed to change the weight on her knees.
“I’m not. I’m here. I’m not leaving. Shh.”
Her arms wrapped tighter around the woman. The grip and grit in Melissa’s throat suffocated her more than when she cried. She was trying hard to pull herself together.
This wasn’t how the day was supposed to go. She thought she was going to have fun. She was going to have a fun girls' day. And they would get ice cream later and maybe even get their nails done after breaking everything they could. She didn’t expect to break herself in the process.
“Breathe,” Barbara hummed. She’d ripped her gloves off at this point, her mask on the floor next to her. Melissa needed a skin-to-skin connection. Melissa needed…she needed…
“Breathe,” Barbara repeated, “that’s it.”
Melissa’s eyes locked with Barbara’s as she turned to wrap her arms around Barbara’s waist.
“It’s going to be okay. I promise.” Barbara didn’t try to hide the lump in her throat. She didn’t try to stop herself from shedding a tear or two. The adrenaline pumping through her body made her want to run. She was ready to run. To split. And Melissa was going with her.
But she sat on the floor, on top of pieces of broken plastic and glass, holding her friend.
-
The next Monday morning came too quickly. Neither of them left their houses the rest of the break. Even their new plans were abandoned.
“Sooo,” Janine smiled, walking into the packed room of teachers. “How was everyone’s break? Did you do anything?” She turned to Melissa. Melissa thought for a second before responding the only way she knew how.
“Oh, I took a break, alright.”
She chuckled, staring at her coffee cup as it faded the more she thought about her response. Janine didn’t notice, walking and sitting where she normally sat while Jacob explained what he and Zach did that week.
Barbara walked in and eyed the woman. They’d not spoken much since that day. Barbara would text and ask if Melissa wanted to chat on the phone—every night like clockwork. But Melissa would kindly say no and turn back over in the bed where she lay for many hours each day. Gary would bring her food in bed. He never forced her to eat. But it was strange that she was only eating here and there. She liked the comfort of his arms wrapped around her, similar to how Barbara’s wrapped around her that day.
“Morning,” Barbara said, sitting in her chair.
“Hey.”
Melissa glanced at Barbara, eyes pleading. Don’t ask me about it. Don’t force me, please. I’m not ready.
Barbara just nods her head. She would go about their day as usual. Talking about what she saw on TV last night. If Melissa still was coming over for Tacos on Tuesday. How Gary was doing.
Melissa thought her breath of fresh air would come from having the week away from her students. Away from the building and all that came with it. But she didn’t take a full breath that filled her lungs so much that she could feel the stretch in her muscles until she watched her students walk into the classroom at 7:30 that morning. It almost brought tears to her eyes to see her little eagles skipping and bouncing into the room.
“Breathe,” she whispered to herself. She eyed Barbara, who had stepped out of her room to glance at Melissa one last time before the bell rang. Melissa’s smile was gentle. Calm. It wasn’t fake. It wasn’t for show. She was genuinely happy to be back after a long week of hiding.
Barbara enters her room with a nod and a smile before shutting the door. One last moment alone.
“Alright, kiddos, let’s see what we have on the board for today!”