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It’s been a lot lately. The mental and emotional stress is showing in your every movement: your hesitant smiles, unfocused gaze, and sluggish body language. When you least expect it, especially in your happiest moments, it decides to hit you all at once.
You feel like the universe has something against you and you’re proven correct every single time. For some reason, all your problems decided to explode on you within a week. You were doing so well but everyone and everything seems to hate you.
All you wanted was for the world to stop for a moment to let you scream and cry, expressing your sadness, anger, and exhaustion. You thought you were doing well in hiding what you feel on the inside but nothing passes by Dan Heng.
When it comes to you, he is always observant. Stoic and kind, he shows his affection and concern in his own ways. Noticing your diminishing energy, he reminded you.
“I’ll be looking through the data bank. If you need me, just knock.”
The Astral Express Crew just decided which planet to go to next and he is off to get some information about the new environment. Anyone who knew him, they’d know that the second half of his words are for you. The crew can only do so much to keep you comfortable and happy. Dan Heng is the only one you could show your vulnerable side to.
A few hours later, Dan Heng hears a knock and he lets you in. Not saying a word, he slides the door close behind you. You can only give him a weak smile and that was the only answer he needed. With no hesitation, he gently holds your hand and leads you to his bed.
You both sat down with Dan Heng’s back against the wall and with you between his legs, body facing toward him. Then, he wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you close and his other hand gently held your head, pushing your face to his shoulder.
Shaking, you wrap your arms around his back and the dam broke.
You can almost hear Dan Heng let out a sigh of relief, finally seeing you let it all go for a moment. You try to muffle your cries but your trembling body and hiccups betrayed you. All these negative emotions built up so quickly and the pain you feel wasn’t surprising. It was suffocating. The ache continues to squeeze the air out of your lungs.
Your head pounds while you listen to your heartbeat. There’s a light ringing in your ears and you can feel the world circle around you. It never gets easier. No matter how many times, the pain remains the same or worsens.
You were no stranger to moments like this. But this time, you’re in someone’s warm embrace. The calm beating of his heart and his comforting scent covers you like a blanket. The slender fingers slowly running through your hair, and his protective arm on your back… it helps a lot.
You don’t know how much time has passed. Your heart slowly calms, the pounding in your head decreases, and your cries die down. You took deep breaths, in and out, getting yourself together.
“Better?”
“Yes but let me use your shoulder a bit longer. I look ugly.”
You can hear him roll his eyes at your dramatic words but he stayed silent, letting you take your time. Several minutes later, you finally remove your face from his damped shoulder and you were greeted with gentle eyes and a warm hand holding your cheek, touching you as if you’d shatter.
The both of you stared at each other for a while, his thumb brushing under your eyes to wipe away any excess tears and his occupied arm pulling you closer.
“Thank you.”
“It’s not something you should thank me for. It’s only natural.”
Meaning, he didn’t feel obligated to do all of this. He will always rush to your side every time you feel down. He will be your pillar as you are his. The two of you had come so far to get to this point, and he would be damned if he kept his eyes off you for even a second.
“Who knew our Dan Heng was a smooth talker?” You let out a laugh as he pokes your sides.
With another stare, you gently shook your head. It was a silent question if you want to talk about it and he replies by placing a soft kiss on your forehead. He doesn’t mind if you’ll tell him or not. Your comfort is his priority.
As long as he’s able to hold you in his arms, to hug you, to feel you, to support you, to love you with his entire being, then that’s all that matters.
As long as you’re breathing and smiling, as long as you always come home to him, he’d do anything for you.
Anything to give you the happiness and love you deserve.