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say it like you mean it

Summary:

In which Jimin has an asshole of a dorm mate and Yoongi is the residence advisor.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

He’s not sure what he’s done to warrant this. Does the guy even remember his name? Though, Jimin supposes after being called dipshit so many times, his name could kind of slip the mind.

“I said no changes.”

“But…can one of us get a single room then, because we’re just—“

“Look kid, here’s a valuable life lesson: you aren’t going to play well with everyone in the sandbox, so learn to deal like the rest of the world.”

He should have figured the residence advisor would be as obnoxious as his bleached blonde hair suggests. It’s a mystery to Jimin how Min Yoongi, a guy who looks like he rather be sleeping all day, is supposed to help out homesick freshmen.

Nonetheless, the very next week Jimin is back at the RA’s door with a warm box of pizza in hand. Yoongi predictably rolls his eyes upon seeing the bribe. Yes, he definitely knows about Jimin’s intentions, but it doesn’t stop him from peeking into the box.

“Hawaiian?” he scoffs, “Really?”

The words sting a little more than they should, but Jimin tries hard to hide his wince, “I kind of heard it was your favourite.”

“Well, it’s kind of really not,” the asshole then has the nerve to reach in and take three slices, “either way, the answer is still no.”

The door greets Jimin’s nose and well, shit …there goes 10 dollars out of his food allowance.

 

 

Life becomes that much shittier when Jimin opens his desk drawer two weeks later to find the envelope of cash his parents gifted him with empty. Jimin really makes an effort to keep all interactions to a null, but this was money his crying parents gave him right before he moved across the country.

“Um, do you know what happened to the money in here?”

Annnnd, Jimin knew it. With irritation practically rolling off him, Jimin’s dorm mate pauses whatever game he’s playing on his phone. He glares a few seconds before the cracking of his knuckles echoes in the room. It’s an intimidation tactic, Jimin knows this, but he can’t help the tingle of dread moving down his spine. The dorm mate stands up from his bed and approaches Jimin slowly.

“Listen dickwad, I’m not sure what you’re implying, but let me ask you this,” the envelope is then ripped out of Jimin’s hand, “why would I want to touch your filthy beggar money? Who knows what I could catch from that shit?” The envelope is then torn into half, quarters and further until shreds litter the floor at Jimin’s feet. The dorm mate pointedly steps on the remains of the envelope, a smirk growing with the twist of his foot. Once satisfied with seeing the quiver in Jimin’s jaw, the dorm mate turns and exits the dorm room.

Jimin should probably start looking for a part-time job.

He also should really start listening to his gut feeling more often.

 

 

It takes three fucking idiots, two you sick fucks and one very inappropriate moment to open a door for another lesson to be learned. Now, as can be guessed, Jimin knows to knock before entering his own dorm room.

Well, that’s just great because Jimin has nowhere else to go, and yeah you better believe his phone is also dying. With that, Jimin looks at his laptop bag and prays the pillow-to-be looks comfier than it probably is.

A light kick to his stomach startles him awake. Fear courses through him and impulse makes his body curl in tightly. Jimin already apologized a million times a few hours ago, what else could his dorm mate want from him?

“Yo kid, wake up already,” a graveled voice hits Jimin’s ears, “you’re being a fire hazard.”

Jimin immediately relaxes the ball he twisted his body into and peers upwards. Not the worst Jimin could wake up to, but Yoongi is certainly not a welcome sight to see either.

“Hey, I didn’t kick you that hard,”

If Jimin’s not mistaken, that might be traces of concern in Yoongi’s voice.

“Come on, are you slow? Say something already.”

Or maybe Jimin is feeling a little too drowsy to properly read between any lines.

“I’m fine,” comes out instead of the snarky “what’s it to you?” from Jimin thoughts.

Yoongi’s gaze starts at the bottom of Jimin’s sprawled out legs and moves up until they rest on the laptop bag underneath Jimin’s head. It takes a few glances between Jimin and Jimin’s dorm room door before the figurative lightbulb flashes on.

“Is this the reason you wanted a room change?”

Jimin doesn’t really know what to say. He wants to verbally vomit all of his dorm mate issues, but he’s scared of the possibility that Yoongi will shrug him off again. To be honest, Jimin really doesn’t want this nice streak, or whatever it is in the RA to end just yet.

So, Jimin says nothing.

A few more seconds pass and Yoongi lets out a large sigh with a follow me in succession. Jimin not-so-gracefully scrambles after him.

Yoongi’s room is…neat. The floor is clean, the one bed is done and, wait a second, RAs have couches in their rooms?

“That’s because the admins think RAs should be everyone’s free therapist or something,” is what Yoongi says after Jimin stares at the couch for too long, “but for now, it’ll serve as a bed for your sexiled ass. Get some rest, kid.” And Yoongi leaves Jimin alone in the dark.

The couch is comfy enough for Jimin to gulp down what’s left of his pride to ask again and again to borrow it for a night. Yoongi must think that his dorm mate is a sex fiend, when really some nights the cold stares and cutting words hit Jimin too deeply.

 

 

The day before an important exam, Jimin regrets deciding to cram in his dorm room rather than the library. His dorm mate arrives earlier than usual and immediately turns his focus onto the textbook and notes scattered across Jimin’s desk. Jimin doesn’t really remember much after that, but he can’t help but fall asleep recalling the words dumbass, why do you even try, retard, and you’re such a failure rather than the content he just reviewed.

Two weeks later, Jimin gets that exam back, and what he should have done was recycle that pile of tree waste so it could serve a better purpose. Instead, the papers reaches the hands of his dorm mate and further ruins his life.

“I knew it, you really are a dumbass!”

Jimin manages to grab the exam back and bolt out of the dorm room before he can hear anymore. He runs down the hallway, around the corner and collides into someone. Jimin braces his hands against that someone’s chest, papers crinkling under his fingers. Before Jimin can pull away completely, it’s Yoongi’s hands that grab onto his wrists. The exam that’s marked up in red comes into clear view and Jimin can only squeeze his eyes shut.

“That prof’s a bitch,”

That sure makes Jimin open his eyes back up.

“And Art History is a bitch of a course to take anyways.” Yoongi looks as casual as ever while flipping through Jimin’s disaster of an exam.

“—Hey, Park Jimin, you better not zone out on me!” Jimin flinches at the tone, but forces himself to meet Yoongi’s eyes, “I asked you if you were free Tuesday or Thursday evenings.”

“Both,” Jimin spits out before really thinking or, even more importantly, asking why.

“Tuesdays at 7 then, I’m gonna show you how to make that hag to think twice about who she fails.”

So Tuesday rolls around and Jimin finds himself nearly sweating under Yoongi’s drill sergeant ways of tutoring him. Yoongi especially likes the punishment of flicking Jimin’s forehead hard if he gets three wrong answers in a row. However, to make up for it, Yoongi offers a gummy smile whenever Jimin gets three answers right. It’s weird how that smile does encourage Jimin a little.

 

 

More weeks go by, and Jimin finds himself sleeping on Yoongi’s couch at least three nights a week. Each time, Jimin hears Yoongi arrive earlier and earlier from his rounds. He thinks he hears feet shuffle towards him each time, but they only double back a second later. One night, it’s like Jimin can feel Yoongi’s gaze burning onto the back of his neck.

“Should I—Should I stop coming?” Jimin asks one morning to Yoongi’s sleeping form. The RA is nearly one with the wall his bed is pushed up against. It also feels like Yoongi’s body is trying to be as far away from Jimin as possible. The implications make Jimin sigh out something heavy and loosen his clenched fists. He spins on his feet and leaves the dorm just like he’s done so many, or maybe, too many times before.

 

 

“Where do you even go?”

Jimin is about to leave his dorm for Yoongi’s again when his dorm mate unexpectedly corners him. Perhaps today Jimin needed more than one verbal beat down for existing? “Come on, it’s not like you have any friends. I bet your parents can barely stand your ugly face.”

Jimin thinks of Yoongi and wonders if they’re something like friends. He knows Yoongi has them though; he’s seen him walk with them around campus. Yoongi may be as lazy as can be, but he’s got a charismatic air around him that’s attractive. Maybe that’s how he got to be an RA.

Thinking of Yoongi allows Jimin to muster enough balls to shove his snarling dorm mate away. He squeezes by enough to make it out the door and down the hall.

Knock after knock goes unanswered. Jimin thinks he must be waiting a while because he can feel condensation on the door from his pants. Really, where the fuck was Yoongi? Jimin could really use a lazy grin and some droopy eyes right about now.

“Wha—“ comes from behind Jimin, “Jesus, what the fuck happened to you?” Over Jimin’s shoulder, Yoongi is looking a good mix of confused and embarrassed. Jimin figures the embarrassment is due to the new plush comforter hidden poorly behind Yoongi’s back and an equally plush pillow in one of his hands.

Jimin snaps around to shoot Yoongi a grin and replies, “nothing, I’m glad you’re finally here,” because Jimin is.

“Planning to squat again?”

Jimin snickers because the arm holding onto the new bedding flops to Yoongi’s side, almost as if he accepts that he’s been caught.

“Well, I heard there was a room upgrade,” and whoa, Jimin surprises Yoongi and himself with that teasing response. Now, Jimin finds that Yoongi looks good a shade redder and that he should maybe take more risks with what he says.

 

 

The extra blanket and pillow are a godsend to the overall quality of Jimin’s sleeping habits. He falls asleep quicker than he ever has before and actually stays asleep throughout the night. However, one night, a chill wakes him. He hears the rustling of paper coming from Yoongi’s desk as usual. One peek and Jimin sees shadows of Yoongi form folded over his desk along his pen whizzing across pages. When the pen pauses, Jimin snaps his eyes shut.

Yoongi’s sigh echoes in the room shortly before Jimin can hear Yoongi’s chair moving against the carpeted floor. The familiar shuffling feet come closer and closer to Jimin and they have yet to scurried away. Another pause and Jimin has this overwhelming desire to open his eyes.

“Jeez, what am I going to do with you?” then Jimin’s blanket get tugged further up to rest back on his shoulders.

What do you want to do with me? Jimin wants to ask.

He really wants to, but there’s this touch of warmth against his lips. Jimin snaps his eyes open again because, did Yoongi just..? And, yes he did because Jimin’s sight is filled with only Yoongi and man, look at those eyelashes.

When Yoongi pulls away and meets Jimin’s gaze, there’s an unmistakable panic, “shit,” Yoongi mutters, “shit, you’re awake, I—sorry, I—fucking hell—” before Jimin can say anything, Yoongi clamps a hand over his mouth with his eyes pleading, “No, please just…go back to sleep. ”

Jimin is so close to saying something, to add anything to make whatever is happening more realistic, but Jimin’s body betrays him and obeys Yoongi’s command.

The next day, Jimin thinks that maybe Yoongi was hoping that if Jimin fell asleep, he would forget about the kiss. Because maybe Yoongi doesn’t like him that way, maybe Yoongi’s regretting it and maybe Yoongi saw someone else instead of Jimin in that moment. Jimin wants to think the best of the situation but, Yoongi looks so tense whenever they are in the same hallway and actively avoids making eye contact.

 

 

A week later and Jimin’s dorm mate doesn’t miss how his presence has increased in their room. He takes the opportunity to let Jimin know just how much of a burden his existence brings to the world. The words get harsher and crueler but, Jimin can’t bring himself in front of the RA’s door. Yoongi has done enough for Jimin and Jimin isn’t about to be the one to bring him more unnecessary grief.

Jimin is alone in the dorm when there’s a knock. Yoongi looks so uncomfortable, just standing out in the hall, awkwardly scratching his jaw with his eyes moving all about.

“Can I—“ Yoongi mumbles out and then stares directly into Jimin’s eyes. The pause is as heavy as the gaze when finally, “I need to use your bathroom,” comes out.

Yoongi blushes because they both know that’s a load of crap, but Jimin opens his door a little more and Yoongi easily slides in. Without a word, Yoongi walks across the room and vanishes into bathroom.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Jimin still has the door open when he whips around to see his dorm mate. A shove pushes Jimin further into the room and the door slams shut with an audible bang. The dorm mate looks especially irate and all Jimin can think is please not now, Yoongi is right there.

“Ah, sorry I was—“

“Blocking the door like the little shit you are.”

Jimin knows he has to try to calm his dorm mate down, but odds are definitely against him, “Yeah, sorry about that, but I actually have—“

“Shut up,” The dorm mate spits out, “What makes you think I want to listen to a word you say?”

Jimin glances to the bathroom door while biting his lip. How much sound would be blocked off?

“N-nothing, but before you say anything else, just know that—“

“Oh, now Jimin decides he can talk back?” No, Jimin hasn’t but he really doesn’t want Yoongi to know about this—“Well, say something fuckface!” Great, now his dorm mate has taken to yelling.

Jimin approaches the dorm mate with arms cautiously raised, “Please don’t yell, Yoongi… he’s right—“

“Yoongi?” The dorm mate wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion before a knowing smirk replaces it, “Ohhh, that’s right. I haven’t seen you run off to your little RA lately. What, has he dropped your worthless ass like everyone else in your life? Really, Jimin, do everyone a favour and get lost already.”

Jimin can’t seem to find anymore words. God, he knows Yoongi has probably dropped by to say he never meant to kiss Jimin and that he doesn’t even like him all that much, but hearing his dorm mate say those words just hurts so much more. There are tears building but Jimin is trying his hardest to not show them to his dorm mate. He fails because now his dorm mate is laughing in- between his insults.

A bang forces the dorm mate to choke on his Jimin-trashing monologue. Jimin is frozen solid as the red faced Yoongi stomps over to him. He is then shoved out of his room with the door slammed shut once again. Jimin can only stare at the wall opposite to him while wiping his tears, trying to collect some sort of bearing. A series of shouts, notably all from Yoongi, can be heard from within his dorm. It goes on for a few more minutes before Jimin sees the flustered Yoongi again. Yoongi doesn’t say or do anything besides gripping Jimin’s arm and dragging him down the hallway.

When inside Yoongi’s room, the air feels so dense and Jimin thinks he might start crying again. Yoongi’s basically pacing a hole in his floor and casting rapid glances to the stationary Jimin. Yoongi lets out something like a growl and approaches Jimin with large strides.

“I—“ Yoongi pauses while searching his face, “I don’t even know where to start Jimin.”

And Jimin doesn’t either. What does Yoongi what to hear anyways?

“Has he…has he been saying that shit to you all this time?” Yoongi hands then come to Jimin’s cheeks with the slightest tremble, “Why didn’t you—Fuck, Jimin, why didn’t you say something?” Thumbs brush away any remaining tear tracts that Jimin must have missed earlier. God, he wasn’t expecting Yoongi to be like this.

The silence between them is large, which means Yoongi is waiting for Jimin to reply.

“Y-you said no changes, so I thoug—“

“No, god damn it, you didn’t,” Yoongi grasps Jimin’s face in a tighter grip, “Jimin, you can’t actually think it’s okay for that scumbag to—to just say that, right? Having a horny roommate is a normal thing and all but this though, this asshole…Jimin, it’s been three months!” Yoongi licks his lips as he continues to search, “why didn’t you tell me?”

Yoongi moves his arms so he’s gripping Jimin’s torso tightly and yeah, Jimin’s definitely sobbing out apologies onto Yoongi’s shoulder. He should probably stop his crying soon though, because Yoongi’s shirt looked kind of nice and he probably doesn’t want it covered in snot. However, with the way Yoongi is holding him in a vice grip, Jimin accepts to stay there and let the built up emotions flow out of him.

What feels like an hour later has them both staring up to the ceiling from Yoongi’s couch. Their bodies have a few feet between them but Yoongi hasn’t let go of one of Jimin’s hands for whatever reason.

“I like you.”

Oh, maybe that’s why.

“I like it when you smile all the damn time and try so hard at everything. So, if you think for a second that your miserable asshole of dorm mate is worth shit, I’ll—I’ll kiss you until you change your mind or something.”

They’re not really looking at each other but Jimin knows Yoongi is probably red all over. The hand holding his is a little warmer and the grip is a little tighter. It feels nice, really nice and it makes Jimin think of Yoongi kissing him again. Jimin really wants Yoongi to do that. Like all the time would be nice, but right now would be especially great.

But Yoongi doesn’t kiss him. Instead they sit in silence for a few short minutes. Yoongi eventually lets go of Jimin’s hand and tells him to get some sleep.

“Okay,” Jimin whispers when, no, not okay because Jimin still wants more of Yoongi right now. Nonetheless, Jimin figures he shouldn’t reckon with forces like Yoongi’s lingering anger and guilt.

The next day Jimin wakes to a tidy and Yoongi-free room. Next to him on the coffee table is a pen ready and uncapped along with a room change request form.

 

 

From that moment on, Jimin’s now ex-dorm mate vanishes from his life. They never cross paths around campus and, although his stuff is still in their dorm, he certainly isn’t sleeping there. Jimin can’t seem to care enough to wonder where he has gone off to though. What Jimin does care about is how Yoongi has become just as absent.

Jimin’s new roommate moves in and Jimin thinks that he’s a swell guy equipped with a quiet and respectable disposition. He’s everything a decent dorm mate calls for and yup, that’s relief sinking in. Don’t get Jimin wrong, that relief is nice and all that, but Jimin still feels off-kilter.

“So…” his roommate’s voice interrupts a regular session of them sharing popcorn and binge watching an anime that isn’t that good, “how do you know Yoongi? High school or something?”

Jimin chokes on his popcorn cause what? “Y-Yoongi? Like, the residence advisor?”

His roommate eyes him critically, “Well yeah, who else?” Jimin glances around the room, begging for a life line. His eyes land on the magical girl on the laptop screen, and he’ll be damned if she isn’t mocking him with her ridiculous fighting pose and starry eyes. Right, thanks for nothing Sailor Moon wannabe.

“Uh, well, he helped me out earlier this year with school work and stuff,” Jimin somehow manages to get out and he’s proud about how close to the truth it is. Besides, his roommate doesn’t need to know exactly what the “and stuff” entitles.

“…and that’s it?” his roommate straightens up to make sure Jimin sees his raised eyebrow. Jimin shrugs because he doesn’t really understand what the purpose of this conversation is, unless his roommate is really another asshole who wants to push Jimin’s buttons. “I mean, word is Yoongi pulled a lot of strings to get me in here and for you to stay. Since I barely know the guy, I thought he was doing you a big favour.”

A part of Jimin wants this conversation to end because, if it wasn’t obvious, talking about Yoongi isn’t making Jimin feel too swell. However, another larger part of him is yearning for any related information regarding Yoongi, so Jimin bites.

“Favour?”

“You told me you were the one who requested the room change, right?” His roommate motions to the room, “then, why weren’t you the one who changed dorms?”

A questioning pause hangs, but it’s only there for dramatic effect. Both of them know Jimin is fully aware of what he thought was an administrative slip.

“Whatever the reason, your old dorm mate got the boot and Yoongi screened anybody eligible to take up his place. So, maybe you should go thank him since, by the looks of it, you didn’t know about any of this.”

His roommate is right, Jimin didn’t know about it and it makes Jimin so much more confused than before. If Yoongi went through such great lengths to ensure Jimin stayed within his dorm, which means Yoongi would still be his residence advisor, then why hasn’t he approached Jimin in so long?

And that is the question replaying in his head when he’s knocking on Yoongi’s door 20 minutes later. He blocks the peep hole with his hand because, well, he’s thinking it might increase his chances for Yoongi to open the door.

“Why the fuck are you blocking the--oh,” Yoongi's graveled voice finishes in a whisper upon seeing Jimin waiting beyond his door frame.

The buzzing from the fluorescent lights of the hallway becomes louder with each second before Jimin says; “can I use your bathroom?” like the fucking pro that he is.

Yoongi’s only response is to bite his lip and look to the floor before moving slowly to the side. Jimin inches by him and just as he touches the door handle to the bathroom, his brain juices decide they’ve had enough of Jimin’s shit. So, now he’s facing Yoongi who is awkwardly standing in the middle of the room. One foot moves in front of the other and this repeats until Jimin’s right in Yoongi’s space.

“I lied, I don’t need to use your bathroom,” Jimin finds himself admitting, though Yoongi probably already knew that.

“Then why are you here?” Yoongi asks with his chin raised a little high, almost daring Jimin to do something. Which okay, chill out Yoongi, Jimin has already made it this far on a self-dare and he’s going to continue even if it kills him. Nice and easy does it, Jimin. Nice and easy.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

Or to the point, that works too.

Surprised is written across Yoongi’s face at first before it turns sour, “Avoiding? Why do you think I’m avoiding you?”

“I-I haven’t seen you since before…you know.” Jimin finds himself nervously gripping his forearm behind his back, “and I was wondering why.”

Yoongi sighs before rubbing a hand down his face. His hands then move to his hips, like a mother ready to scold, “I wasn’t avoiding, I was waiting.”

“Waiting?”

“Yes, Jimin, waiting.”

“For?”

“For you, you dumbass.”

“Waiting for me for what?”

Yoongi’s jaw unhinges before he looks to the ceiling. It appears like he’s muttering a prayer, then his eyes glare down at Jimin hard, “I was waiting for a fucking reply Jimin. I thought…I know you were in a tough situation and needed somewhere to go with that…that asswipe being around, but I thought you at least considered me decent enough to reject me properly.”

Oh.

Oh.

Jimin is a mixed bag of shock, embarrassed and exasperated because, oh god, he never told Yoongi that he liked him, that he wanted to be near him all the time and that he sure as hell wanted to try that kissing thing again.

“S-sorry, I thought I—“

“See, was that so hard? Now that’s settled, why don’t you go back to your dorm and sleep? It’s late.”

Yoongi goes to turn away from Jimin, but Jimin is kind of pissed off from being cut off for the nth time during his college life and latches onto Yoongi’s shoulders. He pulls and aims until their lips connect in a harsh (and painful) manner. Yoongi shoulders do tense under his grip for a moment before they loosen right up. Yoongi is awfully quick on the uptake because Jimin feels fingers grip the back of his shirt tightly all while pulling their bodies closer together.

“Explain,” is what Yoongi pants after they decide to come up for air, “For the love of god, explain.”

“I, uh, I like you a lot,” Jimin stutters out, “sorry I didn’t say it sooner?”

Yoongi is obviously trying to fight a smile and you little shit and fuck you very much Park Jimin are a few words murmured in between many pecks.

The night, Jimin doesn't sleep on the couch but rather on Yoongi's double bed with Yoongi and his warmth pressed against his back.

Notes:

First BTS post. Woot.
ps: hurting jimin is too easy, waee.
pss: Editted, because I realized the italics disappeared ;~;
psss: I have an ask.fm, swing by and say hi, request prompts, or anything else really.