Work Text:
“Master Tighnari! Master Tighnari!”
Sitting on a tree root, Tighnari looks up from his patrol logs to see Collei, who is running excitedly towards him. She’s got a smile on her face with the radiance of a thousand suns, like she’s about to tell him that a species of talking, magical mushrooms exist and that she’s seen them. Well, now he can’t really blame her for that, can he? He’s the one who told her about those things—the things that lurk in the forest, whether it be good or bad.
“What is it, Collei?” he asks, tilting his head slightly as he observes her hands, both of them hidden behind her back.
Collei gives him a big, proud smile, revealing a bouquet of pink flowers in her hand, held together simply by a thin piece of twine. She begins. “Thank you for taking care of me. I just thought, maybe I should give you something to show my appreciation?”
She hands him a card along with the flowers.
“Well, what’s the occasion?”
“You’ll see.” A smile.
Tighnari opens it. The corners of his lips lift up, seeing the effort that was put into it. Written on the card is Hapy Fadurs day! In squiggly handwriting. On the other side of the page, there’s a drawing of her, Tighnari, and Cyno holding hands. Amber is there too, flying above them. And of course, who would forget Baron Bunny and Culein-Anbar?
His heart swells with endearment. Her spelling, well that’s yet to improve, but he’s glad that she can make this without any help from him.
“I know I’ve only been living with you for two years, and you’re not my real dad, but…” Collei explains, fidgeting with her nails, “I, uh, didn’t really know my real dad so you and Cyno are the closest father figures to me. I wanted to give him one too! But he hasn’t visited so… maybe next time.” She smiles sheepishly. “I hope you like it?”
Gods, she’s cute. Tighnari accepts the gift, getting the scent of flowers in his nose. He closes his eyes. It smells oddly good. “Really, you didn’t have to bother, but thank you. Where did you get these flowers?”
“From a travellling merchant going to Sumeru City. I didn’t buy it though, she gave it to me for free.”
He raises a brow. “And why would she do that?”
“I don’t know.” Collei shrugs. “Maybe she’s just really nice. She said I was a good forest ranger! Ahem, even though I’m still in training..”
With a curious gait, she walks closer to him, inspecting the flowers in his hand once more.
“Do you know the name of this, Master?”
“Hmm,” Tighnari ponders for a moment, "no."
The missing knowledge makes his brain itch. There’s something about these flowers that he can’t pinpoint.
She remarks, “Really? It must be rare, then!”
They walk along their usual patrol route. Collei skips happily behind him, bunny-like in her steps. Quiet, too. She doesn’t make a lot of noise. Perhaps there’s something hardwired in her brain that prevents her from drawing attention to herself. Ever since he took her under his wing, she’s been following him around, similar to a lost puppy. He isn't bothered by it, though. Her presence is like that of his shadow.
Tighnari wants to bring her into the light.
He frowns, remembering the tragedy that is her past. It’s easy to forget that she’s been through so many terrible things. With the way she is now, no one would think that she once had a cursed power which had already killed people. Her? The forest ranger in training who wouldn’t even dare hurt a fungus? The Eleazar patient whom everyone thought was too weak to be out on patrols?
How could such a cheerful girl have a past like that?
Perhaps one of these days he should take her to see Amber. After all, Amber was the catalyst to the change in her personality. Collei and Amber rarely meet nowadays, but they still correspond in letters.
Most of the time, it’s Tighnari whom she turns to. For two years, he has taken care of her, more than he does any other patient. He’s the person who taught her how to read and write, the person who showed her how to use the bow, and the person who takes care of her when the illness is taking its toll on her body. Some particularly bad days, he stays at home to see her when she’s bedridden, soothing and easing the discomfort of hardened, scale-like skin with various herbal medicines.
He could say—that in all aspects but blood, she is his daughter.
And if anyone hurts her, he won’t forgive them. Not a chance.
The flowers smell like a mix of floral incense and Zaytun Peaches. They're being kept in a vase filled with sugar water. Might as well have it around. Its fragrance is calming, somehow.
Crickets buzz mechanically in the forest around him. It’s nighttime now, and after a long day of working as a forest ranger, he can finally take some time off for himself. Just to rest. He’s told the other rangers to rest for the night, too. They deserve it, especially Collei. She seemed to be acting strangely earlier.
He stares at the bouquet of pink flowers on his desk. For someone knowledgeable with flowers, he hasn’t seen these ones in the forests of Sumeru. Maybe once or twice, he’s seen them in encyclopaedias that he’d read in the past, back when he was a scholar under the Akademiya. Could these be from a foreign country? Perhaps that possibility is likely.
Tighnari searches through the catalogue of books on his shelf, gloved fingers flitting through each book spine. “Herbs, mushrooms, fruits, desert plants—ah, there it is,” he mumbles to himself, taking the book and putting it on his desk. The Complete Glossary of Floral Species.
As he flips through page after page, the flowers in his desk seem to call out to him. The fragrance, particularly, like a sweet perfume. He gets the urge to sneeze. Some of the pollen might’ve gotten in his nose by now. Well, it can’t be helped. He supposes it might be because of his ancestor’s traits—for him to have a keener sense of smell than the average person.
Although, the air seems humid somehow. He opens the window, letting wind ventilate through the room.
It’s getting hot. Summer is approaching, after all.
He sheds a few layers of clothing, hoping to cool himself down. It’s hard to focus when the temperature gets this high. The words almost seem like they’re dancing on the page and doubling before his eyes. He hasn’t found what he’s looking for, either. Suppose he should just look at the pictures first before giving himself a headache trying to read all this text.
Where could it be? Tighnari has scoured almost all the viable sections, and yet he hasn’t found it. After turning the page, his ears stand on end, and warmth creeps up his face.
Surely it won’t be in the list of aphrodisiac flowers…
(Oh, how wrong he would be.)
The picture on the book shows exactly the same type of flower as the ones that Collei gave to him this morning. Apparently, it’s an extremely rare plant found in Snezhnaya, which means it’s travelled a long way to get here, and also explains why he’s never seen them in his life. Everyone knows that Tighnari’s not good with extreme temperatures.
How did the merchant keep it fresh, though? He skims a whole paragraph full of descriptions about the plant, and skips to the medicinal qualities of its flowers and leaves.
“In high temperatures, the effects of its pollen ‘activates’. It is best advised to store the flowers in a cryogenic state as to avoid unwanted effects. These effects may include the following: fever, increased perspiration, increased libido, restlessness, pain in the lower extremities, gaps in memory, and insomnia. The effects may last for up to 48 hours upon contact.
Due to limited study, and the rare nature of this plant, more research is needed. There is currently no known cure to its effects other than—”
Tiighnari pours the contents of the vase straight out of the window.
He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.
Fuck.
Of course, he did try to sleep. Maybe with enough sedatives, he could sleep it off and wake up after 48 hours without ever having to experience the effects, assuming he would still be alive by then.
Of course, that didn’t work out.
As with all aphrodisiacs, it prevents you from doing anything of value to your life until you do what it demands of you. Until you do the things that it makes you want to do. No one in Sumeru ever dreams, but sure enough he wakes up with a suspicious stain at the front of his pants and an aching need to touch himself. Fucking nocturnal emissions. It’s like he’s a teenager again. If his mind is clearer, he might be wondering about what he saw in his unconscious state to cause this reaction.
Unfortunately, all that’s left in his foggy mind is the realization that he’s so hard it almost hurts.
He reaches down to touch himself, bare hands putting firm pressure on his clothed erection. He rubs against his own palm, pathetic whimpers escaping him. This isn’t going to work.
It’s undeniably hot in the room.
He flings the blankets away with his feet. His skin feels clammy, there’s sweat on his back, and his nightshirt is sticking to him, so he takes it off, doesn’t bother to fold it.
Soon, he’s rutting against a pillow like a dog in heat, panting as he imagines it to be someone, anyone that he could fuck. Cyno, maybe? It’s not like he hasn’t thought of it before. The idea of pushing the General Mahamatra onto the mattress face first and tugging on silver-white hair, kissing his lips and leaving marks on his bronze skin. Running his fingernails on toned abs, firm as though the he's a golden statue sculpted by the gods themselves. Or perhaps it’d be the other way around. Perhaps Cyno would hold him with those lean arms as he takes Tighnari up against a tree, muffling his noises with a calloused hand when something makes the lightest rustle in the bushes. Cyno would probably even rub his tail and nip on the sensitive shell of his ear.
With this, Tighnari groans. The bed creaks below him as his knees dig against the mattress.
He’d just come, but soon enough, he’s hard again.
His mind tries its best to come up with thoughts like the ones from earlier, but it’s not enough. Doesn’t satisfy him as well as it did the first time. A frustrated mewl leaves his mouth. He rolls on his back and pulls his pants down, folding his knees slightly. The semen he’d just released earlier makes it easier for his hand to glide up and down his length.
In fear of someone seeing him like this, the doors and windows have already been closed by him before he slept. It doesn't matter how hot it may be. Archons forbid, someone like Collei may stumble upon him behaving this way. No longer would she ever respect him again.
A traitorous thought enters his brain.
But what if she was doing the same? Hasn’t she been exposed to the pollen, too? She was the one who brought it to him, after all. What if she was masturbating in her bed right now?
What would she look like with her cheeks flushed and her body wracked with unfamiliar sensations?
Collei must be feeling so strange, wondering what it is that’s making her feel that way.
Without realizing it, his hand speeds up. In the dark, his traitorous mind procures images of her. Her, with her fingers plunging in and out of herself, biting her lip in a useless attempt to silence the moans spilling out of her mouth. Her, grinding on a pillow in desperation just as he did, soaking the sheets below her with clear fluid, calling out for someone because she doesn’t know what’s happening to her. Her, breathing out his name. Her, riding him—
(By the time it occurs to him that he shouldn’t think of her this way, he’s already stained his hands with spend, along with the pure image of her in his mind.)
“Fuck, Collei…”
She thinks of him like a father.
So much for being a good father. Tighnari remembers the reason why she even gave him those flowers in the first place. She’s not to blame though. It’s not like she knew what it’d do. And she’s probably also…
“M-Master Tighnari? I need your help. I need your help! Please, wake up!”
(Please wake up, Master. It’s getting bad again.)
The sound comes from just outside his door, making him flinch in surprise. Then, she quiets down, as though she’s ashamed to say it. “I-it’s an emergency.”
As fast as lightning, he quickly pulls his pants back up, gets his hands clean with some rag that’s lying around, throws it under the bed where no one can find it, and remembering that he’s shirtless, he grabs his clothes again and puts it back on to make himself appear somewhat decent and not at all a mess. Not at all. He clears his throat. “I-I’ll be there in a second.”
The leaves of the door are pulled back slightly for the girl in question.
Collei starts speaking, a bit hasty, a bit slurred, her eyes cast downwards. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, Master. I feel… not good. I need your help. I need… something that can help me, please .”
( I’m sorry. I keep waking up because of these… dreams.)
Tighnari knows exactly what it is she needs. But he can’t help her with that. Not really, no. It’d be wrong. He can’t do that to her.
( Can I stay here?)
"Collei, listen," Tighnari begins to explain, his hand unconsciously holding the door, as if to close it and hide away forever and send her somewhere far, to someone who's more capable of taking care of a child than him. He can’t believe it—he’s getting flustered because of what she’s insinuating. "I can't help you right now—"
"Wait!" Panic forms in her eyes that are welling with tears. Under the lamplight, she looks at him with something akin to desperation, like she's on the verge of crying. Her pupils are blown out. She takes a step forward. Her knees tremble slightly while a choked sob falls out of her little mouth, "I need you. Don-don't close the door. Please. Please let me stay here."
Tighnari could do nothing else but stare at her. The forest is silent for a while, like he's hyper focused only on the girl in front of him, and her alone. It's bad enough that he can smell her needy scent from this far, the faint scent of something on her fingers, hear her quick breathing, the way her lungs heave with air. Damn his senses for being extra sensitive.
He lets out a heavy exhale.
"I can't help you with—with this . You don't know what you're asking of me, Collei."
She keeps her eyes on the ground, wrapping her arms around herself.
"I'm sorry, Master. I know I can't be helped. I'm so— dirty. " Her lips shake as her voice quiets down to a whisper. It's a confession. And right now he's a reverend father in one of those stuffy cathedrals like the one in Monstadt, listening in on a secret which hopes to be forgiven by being divulged.
( Can you tell me what your dream was about?
I don't know, Collei answered, and that was that. )
"I'm so bad. It’s embarrassing . I have these thoughts, and I dreamed of, of—"
The sentence is cut short. Collei collapses forward suddenly.
Sometimes she'd pass out in the middle of doing something and hurt herself as she falls. Sometimes she'd even convulse; a side effect of Eleazar, perhaps—or one that's caused by the cruel procedures done on her. When it comes to that, Tighnari has to step in. The reason why her clothes cover up so much skin is precisely because of the protection it provides. Collei asked him once if she could cover up her bandages so the other Forest Rangers wouldn't worry.
Without thinking, he reaches out to catch her, and surprisingly, she's conscious.
The heart in his chest is racing.
She's looking at him with wide eyes, big and purple and so beautiful. Innocent. Her skin is slightly damp and hot to the touch. She smells like summer. Like Sumeru Roses, like the smell of dew in the morning, like everything he loves about the forest. His hands begin to sweat. All at once, he regrets ever coming close to her.
( Don't touch me!)
It all comes back to him; her cries, her nightmares, her screams, and the agonizing howls she'd make in the middle of the night, Tighnari quickly guides her back to her feet, putting some distance between them. "I thought you fainted. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have touched you without permission."
Purple eyes avert from his gaze.
"That… felt nice."
His ears twitch at the uncharacteristic words.
"Ah, f-forget it, Master." Collei curls in on herself, hiding her face away from him, away from the world. "I'm probably just, sick in the head too."
"Don't say that."
She hangs her head in shame.
"I did things you're going to be mad about, naughty things," Collei confesses in a serious tone. "I never did it before, though. I just felt… really weird."
( Tell me if you feel sick, alright? )
This habit of hers to report her symptoms to him, while it made things easier in the past, now it's just come to bite him back in the ass.
Tighnari stays quiet, unsure of what to say. In this situation, what should he do? No one ever told him how to help with this kind of thing. On top of it, he's having problems himself . Oh, to be omniscient, to be a god. If only he could tap into the knowledge from Irminsul, then maybe he'd have all the answers, but he doesn't have any big ambitions like that.
Collei's voice derails his train of thought. "Sorry. I thought—maybe you have something to make it go away?"
“I don’t know…” he mutters. The trust she places in him—Tighnari doesn't know if he should be flattered or guilty about it. She looks away, towards a tree in the distance, something that’s more worthy of her trust, probably.
"Please… I can't take it anymore, Master."
And he doesn't miss the way her thighs press together,
The way her knee trembles like she's about to fall over again. It's maddening.
How can he reject a patient in need?
(Already, there’s fault in his reasoning. How could it be possible for one who's blind to lead another blind person?)
Tighnari sighs.
"Alright, come in."
Collei swallows and follows him through the doorway.
Once inside, she plops down on his bed, her feet swinging restlessly below her. He doesn't know what to do. Should he tell her? Perhaps he should—
"Can you do that again?" Collei asks suddenly. She’s picking at her fingernails.
"Sorry, what?"
"Hold me."
( She's ranting on about this and that and the man in her dreams. He's listening idly to her troubles as he sharpens the tip of an arrow. She's ranting on about something again and he lets her spill her anger out in the pieces of broken twigs she throws into the campfire.
I hate when people touch me, except sometimes I feel jealous of other people, you know?
He replies, I don’t know actually, sarcasm lacing each word and maybe it isn't the correct response but he tries.
Well, she starts and she's scratching her head for answers, for words, for memories that could describe what she means to say. Memories that don't belong to her, memories that belong to her, memories that she isn't sure actually happened. Y'know, um, stuff like when mothers hold their children?
Like hugs? He asks and feels a sort of sorrow for this girl, a sort of pity for this girl, for her—who's so terrified of something so intrinsically human that she craves.
Like hugs, she repeats.)
Without moving too close, he places his arms around her back and her shoulders. If he moves any closer, she would surely feel the bulge in his pants.
Collei frowns. "Not like that, Master. Like this." Then, she stands up and leans her whole body against his, effectively wrapping him in a hug. She rests her head against his chest, saying, "You smell really nice. What incense is this?”
Tighnari becomes petrified in place. His hands land on her shoulders, attempting to push her off. "Collei, you should—"
He lets out an unintentional groan as she brushes up against his lower half.
"Why? What's wr—"
Flustered, it takes all of his effort to pull away from Collei. Changing the subject, he stammers and finds it hard to speak the right words, "I-I'm sick, okay? You might catch it too.”
"Oh."
“A-anyway, you can sleep here. I'll sleep in one of the trees," Tighnari says before turning to walk away. Somewhere far, somewhere he wouldn't be able to feel her presence, somewhere where he wouldn't be bothered by the mere sight of her. He's losing himself. She's getting under his skin and digging up all these rising feelings that he's never felt for her before.
Before he could, however, a hand suddenly grabs ahold of his wrist.
Her palms are moist with cold sweat. "But you've always stayed with me when I was sick. Master, why are you leaving?"
(The truth is an ugly, wretched thing. He can't answer, because I might not be able to control myself, because I might do bad things to you, because I don't want to hurt you. )
"The truth is," Tighnari pinches the bridge of his nose. "I don't have a cure, okay?"
Collei purses her lips.
He’s thrown a rock into a still pond. The water ripples and ripples and destroys the image reflected on the clear surface.
"But you're sick too," she says in protest, ignoring his words. "and… and you can't stay out there! It's dangerous!"
Suffice to say, Collei does have a point.
Her palm stays enclosed around his wrist.
Stay. And so Tighnari does. He turns on the dim lamp on his desk because she can't sleep in the dark. He helps her into bed and sits beside her in silence. Because she needs him. Because she told him so.
“You know, Master.” Collei whispers, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
“Hm?”
She hides her face suddenly. “Um, nothing…”
“You can say it.” Tighnari lifts up the corners of his lips, even if she can’t see. “I won’t judge you.”
“Really?’
“Really.”
“Then…” She lays her head on his shoulder. “I feel better just being with you.”
The night is serene. Birds sleep in the canopy of the forest outside. So why can't they? She yawns, a weary little sound.
Tighnari kisses her on the forehead.
“Me too.”
It comes in waves.
Here he is again, waking up for what probably is the fifth time this night, drenched in sweat and come. There’s a pressure in his lower half again. Only, there’s a warm body next to him this time.
Is she asleep? With the keen senses of a fox, he listens to the sound of her breathing. Sure enough, it’s even, which means that he was right. She is sleeping.
He just has to be careful.
Oh Archons, he’s turning into a madman.
Turning to his side so that he’s facing away from her, he sneaks a hand inside his pants and begins to stroke himself. The action relieves the pressure, but only a little. He tries to chase it anyway, setting a faster rhythm. Labored breaths mix in with the sound of crickets buzzing outside.
He’s nearly delirious from it all, forgetting that Collei is right next to him.
It’s hot and it’s humid. His shirt is sticking to his skin. He wants to take it off. He wants to fuck something. He wants to get Collei out of here and be a good father.
Jerking off next to her isn’t really exactly the way.
Suddenly, she mumbles something, causing him to freeze in place. His heart is racing. His mouth is dry. All his movements cease as he tries to listen to what she’s saying.
She writhes against the sheets, and cries out, a distressed noise
“Please… I need you…” She moans languidly, making his erection throb. “Please… help me! Make it go away.”
He’s so fucked up.
He takes his hands out of his pants. Sits up. She’s probably having a nightmare and he’s doing this. His brows furrow in concern even if his need is betraying him. “Hey, hey, Collei, wake up.”
The tear tracks are evident on her face.
Suddenly, Collei’s eyes open. She blinks at him slowly. Her chest moves up and down in rapid breaths, as though she’d just come home from running along a whole patrol route. There’s something in her eyes that he can’t identify. Exhaustion perhaps? Or is it something else? “Master…”
Tighnari kisses her forehead. It’s the only kiss she can accept. “Hush, now.” Affection blooms in his words. A gentle tone as to not startle her. “It’s alright. I’m here.”
And for a second, he forgets their shared illness. The calmness takes him away from it all. Like he’s in the middle of a storm without knowing.
Half-lidded eyes stare up at him. Violet and dark, like shards of amethysts being swallowed up by a vortex.
Something electric buzzes in his chest. He wonders if he's only imagining the lust in her eyes.
She looks enticing like this. When her bangs are sticking to her forehead. When her messy green hair is splayed out on his pillow. When her hands reach for his shirt and tries to pull him closer until their faces are nearly touching. He’s letting his guard down.
"Collei?" he asks, breath hitching at her bold move.
And here is an even bolder move: a kiss from her.
It's clear that she's desperate and out of her mind. To tell you the truth, he's a little bit desperate and a little bit out of his mind either, so no wonder he pushes against her lips and kisses her harder. And this is his second mistake.
She tastes like frozen sugar on a hot day. It's all he's ever wanted. All he's ever needed.
"I feel… weird," Collei says, tinged with a bit of embarrassment after their kiss. She's barely coherent. “It doesn’t hurt, but it’s weird.”
"Where?"
"D-down here," she admits. Her eyes flicker over between her thighs. Knees slightly folding. It's as though she's begging for his help.
Tighnari kneels between her spread legs. From here, he can smell her arousal. A mix of honey and feminine musk that makes his mouth water. And maybe he's really lost it. He takes in the sight of her white panties. It has a dark spot right at the crotch. She needs this just as much as he does.
"I'll just have to kiss it better, then."
And when she answers please , it's all the confirmation he needs. His hands wander to her still-clothed core, pressing his thumb against her clit in circular motions.
"Oh—!" She whimpers.
Taking that as a sign to keep going, he places his lips on the inside of her thighs first, peppering it with small kisses, feather light.
It makes her giggle.
"I-it tickles!"
He chuckles, and kisses her cunt teasingly before pulling down her panties and gripping her thighs to stabilize himself as he gets his first taste of her. Fuck, she's incedible.
And incredibly wet.
He shouldn't be turned on by this, but all his conviction is betraying him. He eats her out, lapping up her slick as though it’s nectar to a butterfly. She sighs. He feels her hands behind his head, pushing his face closer to her pussy. He lets out a grunt and sticks his tongue out. She's warm inside.
"Mmm…!" The hand in his hair grips tighter. It should be a mess by now, too, but he couldn't care less. It feels good. It feels right. The way she ruffles it every time he makes her squeal, as if she's saying thank you, thank you. Collei asks in between heavy breaths, "Can I… touch your ears?"
And what kind of question is that? It's cute that she thinks she needs his permission for everything. He looks up at her, ceasing for a moment. There's slick on his chin and a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Go ahead."
And then he returns to what he was doing.
Tighnari tries to add a finger into her, pushing it in and out, surprised when it offers no resistance whatsoever. So he was right. She must've played with herself beforehand. Naughty girl, he thinks, but doesn't say it out loud. He doesn't want to embarrass her further. And besides, if she knew what he was up to, she'd probably never speak to him again.
Small hands find their way towards his ears. They're folded back. Collei hasn't played with his ears before, he realizes as she rubs the back of them with curious touches. She glides her nimble fingers along his fur, ruffling it. The soothing touch makes him purr.
And apparently, the vibrations makes her whimper as well.
He puts another finger inside of her. This time, there's more resistance. He wiggles his fingers, until she keens loudly like a wounded animal. Immediately, he stops and asks, "Does it… hurt?"
"N-no. It feels good, like really good."
Seeing her reaction, he's compelled to do it again and again. She moans as he sucks on her nub and curls his fingers against that spot she reacts to, until her thighs are trembling and her back is arching off the bed.
It leaves him with her juices coating the majority of his face. He licks it off his lips.
Still, he needs more.
So he's decided.
Stripping off his pants, he takes in the sight of her drenched entrance, the curls of dark hair surrounding it, the way it's slightly puffy due to her arousal. It's hard not to stare, but he tries to avert his eyes in fear of making her conscious.
Eating her out got him all worked up. His tail is swishing back and forth as he tries to control himself and get his composure back. He won't fuck her, but he has to do something about the uncomfortable pressure between his legs.
So he settles for second best.
Coming down from her high, she's still trying to catch her breath when, without warning, he lifts up her legs, placing them on his shoulders. He guides himself in between her spread legs, dragging his cock on her little pearl, at the same time, slicking himself up.
Then, he gently pushes her knees together. Settles himself between her soft thighs. And oh Celestia , he never knew she'd feel this good.
A noise of surprise escapes her lips at the sight of his cockhead flushed between her thighs. "Master, you're—"
The sentence is cut off by a frustrated whine as his length brushes against her clit again. Tighnari rocks his hips faster, his cock now dripping with strings of pre-come."Oh, Collei—Collei." He grunts. "You're so good, fuck."
He thrusts back and forth between her thighs, length swiftly gliding against smooth skin. The sheets must be all messed up by now. She appears so perfect beneath him like this.
"You don't know how long I've wanted this," he says in the dark and perhaps means it more than he should. The words spill out like slime, slippery on his tongue, and just as murky. "You torture me, Collei. More than anything, knowing I can't have you."
"Master…" She gasps. "I didn't know you—"
"I'll have to teach you a lot of things." A grunt falls out of his mouth. "Do you know why you're so wet?" He whispers in her ear, breath moist with condensation. "It's because your body is readying itself for me."
It's easy to slip in and out between her smooth thighs, to pretend the warmth around him is her insides. This is all he's getting, because he can't ruin her further.
Tighnari finishes with a groan, shooting out thick ribbons of semen on the front of her dress. That's going to be tough to wash out in the morning. She'd have to wear his clothes tomorrow.
The sound of their panting fills the room. She's silent, and he can't bring himself to say anything. Perhaps it's done now. His eyes flick to see her condition, and oh.
Collei looks so ravishing.
She's staring right at him, and he averts his eyes.
"The dress, I'm sorry," he starts.
"H-huh?" Collei looks down at herself, and blushes, "Oh, it's fine, I can clean this up."
Tighnari shakes his head, motioning for her to sit up. "No. Here, I'll help you get it off. It's dirty."
Once it's off, Tighnari can't help but steal a glance at her naked chest.
(Madness has to end, but when two people are mad, they feed into each other's delusions. Folie a deux.)
"Why does it feel so… weird? It's itching." Collei reaches down and to his surprise, rubs herself, closing her eyes. Just witnessing it makes him hard again. "It won't go away. I need—I need something inside."
He crawls closer, attempting to pleasure her with his fingers, but she grabs his wrist before he can do so. "Hm?"
Collei looks at him pleadingly. "No, I need you. "
"Huh?"
"Y'know, like in those b-biology textbooks—"
Oh. So that's what it is. What light novels has she been reading?
Tighnari replies, laughing a little, "Collei, I can't do that to you. "
"Why not?" A frown graces her face, and he nearly gives in, nearly , but he should be coming back to his senses by now. "You said, earlier…"
"No." He tries to smile at her in a kind manner while making her understand. "That would be crossing a line."
She pouted. "Haven't we crossed it already?"
His fingers reach behind her ear to tuck a stray strand of green hair. Then he traces her jawline, and down her neck, until his fingertips feel a band of cloth. He pulls off the bandages, and underneath it is scaly, hardened skin. Collei keeps it covered with her hair most of the time.
Tighnari knows every part of her that's afflicted with Eleazar. He can map out the traces of the disease on Collei's body like he can map out the rainforest, but this is the first time he's really touched her, for no other reason than just to feel . There are no herbs on his hand nor ointments on her skin, and she isn't unconscious, a heavy body being carried in his arms.
Right now, she's awake and alive and so lovely .
Tighnari tilts his head, lips closing in on her neck. How badly he wanted to kiss her, how badly he wanted to have her for himself. Now she's the thorn on his side that keeps on growing and wrapping around him.
"Have we?" He asks in a whisper.
Collei crawls to his lap, her bare pussy making contact with his thigh. She draws out each word, as though she's pleading, "Master, come on. I need you."
( Look, Master! I did it!)
"I know you do." Tighnari says, matter of factly, trying to clear his head of any more malicious thoughts, but all seems to be failing. "You need me because I'm your—"
"Please, Master just f-fuck me, please."
(He forgets to scold her both for the interruption and the cursing. But she isn't asking, is she? She's begging for it.)
It sends something carnal stirring in his gut. He swears underneath his breath.
Though lacking in basic literacy and painfully naive at times, this Collei isn't the same girl that was brought to him two years ago.
"I'm sorry…! I shouldn't have said—"
He pushes her down onto the bed, trailing his hands down her body, her sides. Fingertips graze against the rosebuds on her chest. They harden under his touch. Her breasts have gotten fuller, her hips—wider. She stares up at him with a surprised gaze.
In all his time spent tending to other things, he hadn't noticed that a magnificent flower had bloomed in his garden.
His voice drops to a rasp. "You can be so needy sometimes."
Collei squirms underneath him.
"Maybe I'll have to lecture you later," He kisses her neck, fighting the urge to bite down, then whispers into her ear. "But you'd rather listen to me like this, right?"
“I’m sorry,” she breathes out. And he wonders if it’s just an instinct of hers or if she’s genuinely sorry for taking him apart. Skinning him until his deepest, most primitive desires are uncovered. Turning him into this mad beast without reason. And fuck, he’s exhausted having to reject her advances.
"Collei," Tighnari says sternly, looking into her eyes now, "How many times have I told you not to apologize for pointless things?"
She cowers. "S-sorry—oh."
This time, he laughs, and gives her a peck on the lips. "It's okay."
Tighnari draws back, leaving some space between them. His shirt is thrown carelessly, to join the other discarded clothes on the floor. Now they're equal. She's laid bare before him, and the opposite goes. Just as nature had intended them to be.
A moment of clarity passes over Tighnari. She's so small, as though he can break her if he isn't careful enough. He kisses her neck. Trailing his lips over scaly skin, he takes a moment to admire her. To focus on her wholly. To make her feel loved.
"We'll take it slow," he says, positioning himself above her while his hands cup her cheeks with a gentleness only conjured by a pure affection. Frowns, and perhaps she doesn't see it in the dim light. "I don't want to hurt you."
Collei wraps her legs around his waist, feet intertwining just above the base of his tail.
"I trust you."
There's fondness in her gaze. And the way she says it so earnestly makes him want to cradle her in his arms and stop all of this madness. But this is what she's asking for, right?
His cock is dripping pre-come on her stomach. When he guides himself to her entrance, he shuts his eyelids to be wholly immersed in the sensations. In the way she clings to him tighter. In the way her breath hitches as it enters her.
Pushing slowly, inch by inch, he fills her up.
And the only thing on his mind now is how warm she is. How tight and heavenly. It's like she's made for him, their parts fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. Like the hexagons making up a beehive, however nonsensical and wrong it sounds.
(Rationality is a vase emptied by the window.)
Suddenly, she makes a little noise. He grunts, opening his eyes to check on her.
Collei's mouth is open in a breathless gasp, but she scrunches her face suddenly, knits her brows, causing him to stop. To ask, "A-are you alright?"
"Yeah." She breathes heavily, chest rising up and down. "Keep going."
Trusting in her words, Tighnari draws back once he's fully sheathed inside her. Pushes back in, slowly. Tentative movements, as gentle as he can manage. He places his hands beside her head to keep from falling on top of her. Then hides his face in the crook of her neck.
Collei rolls her hips in time with his. It encourages him to move faster, his thrusts knocking little moans out of her. He's panting now, like an animal, but never before has he experienced something as intense, as pleasant, as incomparable as this.
This is how life is meant to go. People, animals, even plants, are born, they feed and grow, they reproduce, and then they die. As a forest watcher, Tighnari has seen this cycle take its course countless times. He'd just never anticipated that she'd come into his life and be one flesh with him this way.
Their bodies, tangling together in the way that nature intended. She's soft and pliant in his arms. Perfect with all her imperfections.
It's like he's melting into her. Their breaths are mixing. She clenches around him at times, voice going a higher pitch than usual. Rhythmic. The noises she makes are a melody he could listen to for the rest of his life.
There's heat coiling in his lower abdomen. All of his nerves are set on fire, as though she's liquefying his brain into mush.
Oxytocin. It's the rush of it that he feels.
Through the haze of pleasure, he senses the foreboding urge to release inside her. Flustered, his ears fold back as he stammers, "I-I'm close."
Tighnari tries to pull away from her, but before he could, she locks him in with her feet hooked behind his back. It's her turn to whisper into his ear this time.
"Do it inside, Master. It's okay." Collei pauses to sigh, her moist breath tickling the fur surrounding his ear. She flushes a shade of red, looking every bit so attractive, so ravishing. "Because I… Because I want it too."
Hearing that, is the final shove he needed to plant his seed inside of her.
As he comes, he groans out her name and buries himself in one last time, grinding against her most vulnerable parts. She comes too, a long moan leaving her lips. Toes curling, she spasms periodically around his length.
A full shudder goes through him. He's done it now.
He'd have to give her something to drink tomorrow.
She was an intrinsically secretive child; Collei trusted no one back then. No one but Amber. The only reason why he even knew she already had her periods was because of one particularly bad day for her illness, wherein she left a blotch of red on his bedsheets.
Being her teacher, Tighnari got one of his biology textbooks out and explained to her the purpose of the bleeding. She seemed to know already that it happened once a month. Perhaps she thought it was something that just happens. It was clear however, with how she listened so intently, that no one had told her these things before. That was an awkward day for the two of them. How time goes by so fast.
And now she's probably going to leave another blotch of red on his bedsheets for a completely different reason.
Dazed, Collei embraces him, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. And Tighnari can feel the teardrops of his student leaving wet trails on his skin. She asks in a small voice, "Can I be with you forever?"
The sun is up.
Tighnari doesn't remember much of what happened since then, but he knows that usually, he isn't supposed to be in the same bed as his student, and she isn't supposed to be undressed like she is, either.
"Collei…?"
She's facing away from him. There's a void in his chest threatening to overcome the morning light that usually gives him energy. He reaches out to touch Collei's shoulder, but decides otherwise.
He can't bring himself to say anything other than sorry, sorry, sorry.
Collei stays silent. Or perhaps she's asleep, and honestly it would be better for both of them if she is.
And so Tighnari gets up, doesn't look at her, and starts his day with a sinking feeling in his stomach, like he's about to throw up.
He spends his days away from her on long patrols. Perhaps it's unfair to send her away with the other forest rangers most of the time, but it's for the best. He isn't really avoiding her, per se—it's just that he's become busy out of his own making.
So when Collei gets the chance to catch him doing research alone in his house, well, it's hard to avoid her with a half-baked excuse. She isn't the brightest student out there, but she isn't stupid either.
"Yes, what is it? I'm busy." Thank Archons he didn't stammer through that line.
Collei steps inside, after waiting at the doorway for so long. He won't tell her how anxious he'd been all that time when she stood outside his door.
Timidly, she says, "Sorry, I won't take long, Master. I just want to talk to you about…" Her nails are chipped, she fidgets with them. "Uhm, about something ."
Tighnari's ears perk up.
"You hate me now, don't you?"
( Why don't you hate me? She says bitterly. She'd been lying in her bed for days. I'm just a burden. You should send me away to the Akademiya. I might be more useful there. They could learn from me and—
Collei, he says seriously, and kneels beside her bed, I will never hate you. You belong here now, I can't send you away to them.
Her lip trembles.
She curls up and hides under the blankets. Tighnari frowns deeply at the condition of his patient, sad and hopeless and sick and there's nothing he can do for her this time.)
"What?" He quickly shakes his head, tumbles out of the stupor. "I would never."
"But I'm a bad girl, aren't I?" Collei asks in a tone like she wants to hide away from the world in one of her tree hollows again, "Doing things I'm not supposed to …"
"Is this about the other night?" Tighnari sighs in exasperation.
She nods.
"Don't blame yourself. It's… not your fault."
"Why shouldn't I?" Collei pauses, then forlornly she says, "You can't even look at me, Master. Maybe I should just, leave? I'm disgusting, I'm…"
" No , you're not."
All this self deprecating talk. He knows best of all that this is the layers of her cheery facade all peeled back. The rotten core that exists within her. It's the truth that isn't masked by the adoration she has for Amber. There's no mimicry of a happy persona that shines as bright as the sun; it's all clouds, dampened joy, shadows as dark as the Abyss.
Still, Tighnari finds that he couldn't love her any less for it.
(But not like that.
He still feels disgusted by the actions he made that night. Whatever he did to her, it must not have been good. He'd never be able to forgive himself.)
Collei's arms are tightly wound around herself, her shoulders shaking as she looks down and airs out a forced laugh. "Sorry you had to see that, Master. I'm the worst girl in Teyvat. It's clear you regret—"
He gets up from his seat. "Collei, if there's anyone who should be sorry, it's me."
(I shouldn't have done that to you.)
She looks up at him with wide eyes. "What do you mean?"
So she still doesn't know—she thinks it's her fault for behaving that way. Tighnari owes her an explanation, at least.
“It’s because of a plant, a kind of pollen specifically." Tighnari starts, and grimaces. "The ones with an aphrodisiac effect. I remember studying it beforehand, but that was it. I don't remember anything else. I saw you in the morning and your condition was…" He shook his head. "I should’ve known better. That night, I shouldn't have allowed you to come here because I knew what would happen and yet—"
"But Master, I was the one who asked for your help." Collei stands her ground. "It's true! I remember everything."
This leaves Tighnari stumped, rendered speechless in front of her.
"I was the one who kissed you first. I kept bothering you even when you said there was no cure. You wanted me to go away but still I—I did things that, that—"
She sways slightly on her feet. Breaths come and go out of her chest in shallow exhales.
"You're hyperventilating." He furrows his brows in worry while inspecting her. "Collei, it's alright, just count with me okay?"
Collei nods, teary eyes looking up at him.
"Alright." Tighnari takes a deep breath. "Breathe in. One, two, three four, five. Hold—one, two, three." And he starts to release the air in his lungs. "Then exhale, one, two, three, four, five. Good girl, okay let's repeat it…"
A smile tugs on Tighnari's lips when he sees her following along to the instructions.
After Collei has calmed down, he sits her down on the bed and turns on the ceiling fan, settling beside her gently.
"Are you better now?" he asks.
She makes a small hum of agreement.
The silence is jarring this time.
A somber tone flows through his speech. "If I make you uncomfortable, we can arrange for you to move to Aaru village. There, you won't have to see me anymore, and Candace will take care of you. Cyno might visit more frequently too, that's near his post after a—"
"No!"
Like a feral cat, she pounces on him with a crushing hug.
The startling embrace makes the fur on his tail stand up.
"I don't want to go." She sobs, shaking her head. "Master, please I'm sorry. Just don't send me away! I love you, Master. I thought—I thought—"
( You don't have to do anything. I'd love you still.)
She lets go of him, wipes her tears and mumbles indignantly. "Stupid me, thinking that there's someone out there who'd be able to love a girl like me."
He's left there to wonder. The rainforest halts to a standstill, as though all the animals and insects and trees are intent on listening in on their conversation. Tighnari is hurting her, he knows. It's all a mistake. If he can just say what he means to say—the things he's been keeping for so long, perhaps the damage could be less severe. Perhaps she wouldn't be crying anymore.
" I can."
"Huh?"
He's a log of wood with the bark chipping and falling off, until the interior is revealed.
Tighnari pulls her toward him, and softly kisses the top of her head.
"I can. I love you, Collei."
And oh, how liberating it is to say, how freeing. The vines wrapped around his heart loosen a bit in order to make space for her.
Collei's face brightens, like the sun after an eclipse has passed. No longer does she hold the deep frown she had earlier, and yet she cries, as though a dam had broken, as though all the mixed feelings escaped her body in the form of heart-rending wails. "You're lying."
"How could I lie to you?" Tighnari sighs. "Gods, If only you knew what you do to me."