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F
Year 9
The New Regime
Children, tearing away at the nearest carcass they could find — their innocence and childhoods stolen from them.
The last few pieces of infrastructure from the old world were quickly collapsing. Banks gone. Governments fallen. Stores gutted from the inside out.
The streets were dirty. Everything was colored in smudges of dirt and ash and red. The city that was once the still-living adult’s childhood were entirely burnt to ashes and rebuilt as the glimmer of metal and scaffolding of the New World’s new governing city.
It was the menacing glimmer in the distance. The foreboding star just across the horizon from the torched suburbs that everybody had fled to. The Principle. To anyone that dared to stay in there, it was where the soldiers came from.
The white and red armored, weapon-bearing soldiers.
They marched in perfect lines. But there was nothing orderly about their rule. There was no set law. No guideline. If a soldier disliked what you were doing, they were free to do anything they wanted. Hurt you. Imprison you. Send you to the construction fields. Any talkback more than likely ended in death.
The few that dared to enter The Principle were those whose purpose was to work. The currency was meaningless. It was only usable with people within the city. But it was something. And people had to provide for themselves somehow.
Even if it meant accepting The New Regime.
A few dared to enter the city. Even fewer dared to sneak in. Especially not now, on the eve of a decade under this chaos.
But, then again, there weren’t many as reckless as Yoongi.
Yoongi was only 10 when the Quell happened.
There wasn’t much that he remembered. Just the sudden smell of ash, loud bangs, and light flashing all around him. He understood that somebody grabbed him and ran him out of the city just as yelling and the stomping of feet in unison began.
Yoongi pinched his left ear, wrinkling his nose as he poked his head over the concrete walls. Even now, 9 years later, his left ear couldn’t hear quite as well as the other did. But, even now, Yoongi was still hiding away in a little corner of The Principle, nothing in his possession but a plain, muslin dress and an apron.
That and a ruby encrusted in a dagger that belonged to someone who had been important to Yoongi, but was now long forgotten.
He looked down at the potato in his hands. His stomach was screaming, pleading him to finally tear into it. Instead, Yoongi took his dagger out of its worn out leather sheath and cut off a small section.
It was more important to ration it. It wasn’t often that Yoongi could steal something more than a piece of bread from an officer. Hell, it wasn’t often that Yoongi could get anything off of them.
Yoongi carefully placed the piece into his mouth, closing his eyes as he savored the taste of it. There was just the slightest bit of salt on the skin and — even though Yoongi knew that it would only make him thirst for water he didn’t have — he let it sit in his mouth. And it was warm. Oh how Yoongi had missed having a warm meal.
It reminded Yoongi of a family that he was fairly sure he once had. Of a friend he’d played with before. Of a world that was once organized and colorful.
Yoongi fought with himself to swallow the piece. Letting go of the short moments of bliss was one of the hardest things to do. He stood up and began to walk to the “park”.
As he watched the kids eating roadkill on the streets, he couldn’t help but think that there was at least a little bit of mercy from the world for them. Anyone younger than he was when the Quell happened couldn’t have remembered the world before. They couldn’t miss something they never had.
Yoongi looked up at the massive, bronze statue that sat in the middle of the park. To call it a park was almost laughable. It was just a concrete pedestal of steps underneath the statue, elevating it so that it stood just as high as the inner city.
The inner ‘city’ wasn’t a city within the Principle. It was where the headquarters of The New Regime laid. The reason it was called a city was because it was a massive building with shops and trees and flowers all around it. It was where the officials tied to the New Regime lived, and where the soldiers came pouring out of.
Yoongi climbed up the steps, sitting down not far from the feet of the so-called ‘Great President’. President Jung Young-Dae. Ironically, under the nose of the dictator was the safest place to sit and rest. No soldiers were allowed to come up to the statue.
Yoongi closed his eyes, letting himself have a moment of peace. Up here, the air was just a little cleaner. And, up here, he didn’t have to deal with the fact that he had to start thinking about how to find a place to lay his head down for the night.
A quiet footstep walked up towards Yoongi. His entire body jumped into danger mode, his hand flying to the dagger inside his apron’s pocket.
Yoongi opened his eye to find a man in blood red armor standing in front of him. He looked young, and strangely calm but Yoongi knew that that didn’t mean anything.
The men in red were the ones who were most closely associated with the dictator. Yoongi had seen children in red, no more than the age of 12, commit the most brutal executions in the New Regime.
Yoongi’s grip on his dagger tightened, his breath becoming shallow as he waited for the man to move.
He stepped forwards, Yoongi's body immediately pushing itself back against the steps until he was at the very top platform. The man ran after him with an eerie collectedness, swiftly reaching forwards. His fingers clasped around Yoongi’s ankle, colder than the winter air around them.
A quiet scream ripped out of Yoongi’s throat as he was dragged back down the stairs, his back hitting each concrete step on his way down. He could barely think of grabbing his dagger.
They were inches away from each other, Yoongi’s ankle far past the man’s leg and his dagger at his throat. The man was tan, he was clean. His face was calm, but his eyes were frenzied, like a wildfire burning through a forest. Just his stare was enough to make Yoongi want to run far, far away from him.
Suddenly, a voice much deeper and quieter than Yoongi expected came out of the man’s lips.
“I don’t want to hurt you. Sit down.”
Yoongi pushed the flat blade of the dagger further against the man’s throat, his hand shaking as he tried to move away from him.
“Sit with me, and I will forget that you’ve just attempted to injure an officer of the Regime,” The man calmly said. It wasn’t really a deal. Nothing was with these people. It was an order. “What harm is there in sitting down.”
Yoongi pursed his lips, letting himself back down. He placed his dagger back in its sheath and sat down, consciously making the decision to ignore the fact that the officer was still holding onto his ankle and blocking his sides.
Once Yoongi sat down, the man sat down as well, still holding on tight.
“Be honest, if I let go, will you try to run,” He asked.
Yoongi quietly shook his head.
It was the honest truth, and the only option he had. Trying to run would mean certain death for him.
The man slowly let go of Yoongi’s ankle, leaning back against the steps as his eyes roamed around Yoongi’s face.
“What’s your name?”
Yoongi glanced to the side at the man. He almost thought he didn’t hear him correctly at first. Hoseok was sitting on his left side, and his voice was almost too soft to make out. It had been a long time since he’d last said his name. He wasn’t even sure if his lips remembered how to.
“Min Yoongi,” Yoongi whispered.
“Min Yoongi,” The man repeated. His face remained still as he hummed, “That’s a pretty name. It suits someone like you. How old are you, Yoongi?”
“I think I’m 19. I’m not sure anymore,” Yoongi replied. He turned his head to face the man. Yoongi carefully took in every feature of his face. There was something almost…familiar about him. The same way salt was a familiar taste to him.
The man moved closer to Yoongi, and suddenly it was all too apparent what he wanted with him. Yoongi swallowed down the lump in his throat and closed his eyes, trying to push down the urge to cry.
“I won’t hurt you,” The man stated. His hand reached up to grab Yoongi’s face, the rough material of his red gloves scratching against Yoongi’s face. “I’m just curious about you. You don’t seem to be working, you don’t have any kids with you, you clearly aren’t a prostitute — though you certainly are pretty enough to be one. Why are you here?”
Yoongi’s entire body froze as the man held his face. He could feel the disgust rise in his body as the man wiped some of the dirt off of his cheek. There wasn’t much to do once in this situation but take as much control of it as possible. Maybe make some money from it. At least enough for a small meal.
Yoongi scooted a little closer to the man, forcing his hand to move past from Yoongi’s jaw — where it could easily snap his neck — and shrugged, “I don’t have any particular reason to be here. But it’s where I am. Does it matter a lot?”
A small smirk tugged at the corner of the man’s lip, “No, it doesn’t. So long as you’re here. You can call me Hoseok.”
“I feel honored,” Yoongi smiled. The president trained the soldiers to be able to read people with just a glance, but it was just as easy for Yoongi to magnetize them. All it took was for him to feign attraction and stroke their egos, and oh did this one have an ego on him. “You look young.”
“I’m older than you,” Hoseok hummed. “By a few years, but don’t feel the need to be formal.”
Hoseok squinted his eyes at Yoongi, sizing him up and down as he stood up, “How would you like to be a part of something much bigger than yourself?”
“I don’t particularly look forward to the idea,” Yoongi replied.
Especially not if it has anything to do with President Jung was the part that Yoongi added in his head. But it didn’t matter whether or not he said it. Hoseok understood what the silent part of that sentence was.
Hoseok stood up with a sigh, wiping the dirt off of his glove with a disgusted look on his face, “You can follow me, or come back here tomorrow. You choose.”
Hoseok started to walk down the steps, his figure getting smaller and smaller as Yoongi weighed his options. Following him was definitely a no, and coming back tomorrow was definitely a no. But there was a variable that was missing in the equation.
“What happens if I don’t come back,” Yoongi called out.
Hoseok didn’t stop walking as he called back, “Then I’ll have the officers sweep the city for every homeless grifter they can find until you’re delivered at my doorstep.”
His figure disappeared in the crowd of people before Yoongi could respond.
Shit.
There was something terrifying about Hoseok that Yoongi couldn’t get out of his mind. There were a lot of terrifying things about that interaction. Too many pieces that Yoongi couldn’t make sense of as he sat in the cold darkness.
What did Hoseok want with him? Clearly it wasn’t to bust him for some sort of crime. What other reason would a red soldier have for sitting next to someone who looks as dirty and low-class as Yoongi? Why did he want Yoongi to follow him? Why would he want Yoongi to come back to the park? Why would he be willing to bluff that he’d bring down the full forces of the soldiers down on the Principle just to find Yoongi?
Who was Hoseok? How far up the ranks was he really in order to be able to say that? Was he even really high up the ranks, or was he just bluffing? But there was no need for him to bluff considering his position over Yoongi.
There were so many things that didn’t make sense. Yoongi just couldn’t get the interaction out of his mind. Hoseok was almost hauntingly terrifying. Just the thought of his hand on Yoongi’s face…the lingering feeling of his glove against Yoongi’s skin…it made Yoongi want to crawl out of his skin and throw up.
Hoseok’s eyes…they were intense and crazed in a way that nobody should be. He was crazy enough to grab a stranger’s ankle and pull them down a flight of steps, but he was calm and collected throughout the entire interaction. Even his emotions were barely there, faded into his calculated expression.
Those were the kinds of people Yoongi hated. The merciless, violent people who pretended like they were better than everyone else. It made sense why Hoseok was a part of the men in red. He was just like the dictator they worshipped.
Yoongi could only take solace in the fact that, months from now, this would all be behind him and he wouldn’t even remember Hoseok’s name.
“You came back.”
Yoongi looked down at Hoseok as he came up the stairs, his entire body still as he replied, “I’d rather not have an entire army trying to find me.”
Hoseok was dressed in nearly the exact same outfit as before. Only, this time, his glove was missing. Something about the way his tanned skin looked almost plastic against the shining, blood red of the armor was unsettling.
“You’re a smart one,” Hoseok nodded in approval. “Where did you learn your survival skills? Not everyone has the space of mind to think about rationing their potatoes, let alone actually know that it would be better to do so.”
Yoongi stared at Hoseok blankly, his jaw falling ever so slightly as he tried to figure out how Hoseok knew what he was doing. Let alone that he had food.
“Don’t be so surprised. You think that I’d take the gamble that you would come back without any insurance,” Hoseok asked quietly.
The left side. Again.
All Yoongi could see was Hoseok talking, but only a few words here and there were actually recognizable to Yoongi’s ears. For all Yoongi knew, Hoseok could have just threatened his life and he would have been none the wiser.
Thank god it was a rule that there would be no violence underneath President Jung’s statue. One of the few written ones of this new government.
“Why are you here,” Yoongi asked.
Hoseok closed his mouth, his eyes squinting in just the faintest hint of confusion, “I was just explaining that. Do you have trouble hearing, Yoongi?”
Yoongi simply looked down at the ground and nodded, tapping his finger just below his left ear.
“How did that happen,” Hoseok asked.
It didn’t sound like he truly cared. If anything, it sounded like he was just searching for more information to use against Yoongi. Once, Yoongi had heard rumors of a database kept by the Regime on all of the people that they encountered — its purpose to figure out how much of the population was still remaining after the Quell. Had Hoseok already put his name in?
Although, anyone who had left the Principle could answer that. There were only ashes left — and those who scattered like mice at the first signs of fire. Yoongi looked down at the shadow of the president. It stretched so far down that it entrenched the park.
“I’ll answer that once you answer my question. Where I can hear this time,” Yoongi replied.
Hoseok looked down at his hands for a brief moment. He sighed, stood up, and walked up the steps. Suddenly, he was sitting on the other side of Yoongi, his expression ever so slightly annoyed.
“I want you to be a star,” Hoseok stated plainly. “That’s why I’m here. The inner city is planning a celebration for the 10th anniversary of our new world. And we need people like you.”
“People like me as in…”
“The poorest of the poor. People who live or work in the Principle, but who aren’t a part of the Inner City. People who despise the rule of President Jung,” Hoseok clarified.
“I don’t—”
Yoongi looked up, his eyes finally meeting Hoseok’s. It was then that Yoongi realized that he was trapped. There was no way out of this situation that wouldn’t lead to Yoongi’s immediate death.
He was a bird who flew right into Hoseok’s cage, all because he tried too hard to fight his capture.
Hoseok pointed at the city ahead of them. For the first time, Yoongi noticed what they were building so far up above all of the despair and chaos in the streets. It was something electronic, something so familiar that Yoongi could almost envision the bright flashing colors and changing images.
“Do you remember the televisions? How the screens would light up the skies and people would watch shows,” Hoseok asked.
Something inside Yoongi’s mind flickered with the faintest hint of recognition, a memory long buried suddenly poking out through the swamp of the last decade of Yoongi’s life. He looked back at Hoseok, their faces turned towards each other as he frowned, “I’m not sure. It’s been a long time.”
“I’ll show you when you’re in the Inner City. I know there’s not a lot of them out here anymore,” Hoseok stated. “But you are going to be on those screens. They’ll be finished in less than a week. Picture your face on each and every one of those.”
Yoongi stared at the screens. But, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t even know what he looked like anymore. He knew that his hair was a bit long. He knew that he wasn’t a little kid anymore. He knew that he was unhealthily skinny and starving and that everything was dirty.
But what were his features? What color were his eyes? What was his nose shaped like? Were his lips thin?
None of that mattered when you were just trying to survive. Yoongi had never even thought about what he looked like. Let alone cared. But, now that Hoseok was calling attention to it, the idea that he even had a face felt foreign.
“Come on. Stand up. You can tell me how you lost your hearing while we’re on the train,” Hoseok ordered. He grabbed Yoongi by the wrist so hard that it felt like he could snap Yoongi’s wrist with just one wrong movement and stood up, pulling him down the stairs.
Hoseok marched down the stairs so quickly that Yoongi had to break into a run to prevent himself from falling all the way down.
Yoongi was so preoccupied with not dying that he forgot to ask what a train was.
Hoseok led Yoongi through the city, through passages Yoongi had never seen before. It was strange. He thought he knew the Principle better than anyone else. But he never could have imagined that there were so many hidden passages and underground tunnels that the New Regime used to travel around.
The passageways were heavily guarded and even more heavily mechanized. Yoongi couldn’t ever recall seeing this much technology anywhere. He didn’t even know that it existed anymore.
Why didn’t they share any of this with the Principle?
Every time Hoseok led him into a new turn or passageway, soldiers immediately surrounded them. They were all dressed in white, but they weren’t armored. No. Instead, they were wearing cleanly pressed, white suits with bigger collars than Yoongi had ever seen. There was something odd about their clothing in a way Yoongi couldn’t pinpoint.
Guns were pressed to Yoongi’s head, frenzied shouting filling the air as they tried to deal with the person who clearly didn’t belong there.
But, every single time, all Hoseok had to do was step towards the head of the soldiers and whisper something in his ear. Suddenly, everybody would back away and the soldiers would apologize for the inconvenience. Hoseok would walk Yoongi through the rest of the path with everybody saluting them — their ring fingers pressed down against their thumbs in the air.
Eventually, they reached a building that was almost made entirely of metal. It was so polished and clean that Yoongi didn’t dare to touch anything for fear of dirtying it. In front of them was what Yoongi could only describe as a massive, steel bullet with windows and seats inside of it.
The doors of the bullet opened, and soldiers marched out of it in orderly lines. When the line ended, Hoseok led Yoongi inside, his gloved hand still firmly wrapped around Yoongi’s wrist. Somebody wearing a white dress led them into a different section of the bullet.
Immediately, the room was much different than the rest of the place. It wasn’t metal. In fact, it looked to be made out of wood. It was much warmer than the rest of the bullet, and there were only a few seats. The bulk of the room was a table with a variety of glasses with amber-colored liquid in it.
Hoseok finally let go of Yoongi’s wrist and sat down on a couch. He patted the empty space next to him, a clear signal for Yoongi to sit down as well.
Yoongi followed his orders. The moment he sat down, the couch felt like heaven. It had been so long since he rested on something that wasn’t pure concrete or dirt. The very idea of softness was yet another thing that had been long forgotten.
The bullet started rocking, but Yoongi couldn’t care less about what was happening around him.
Hoseok took a sip from the amber colored liquid and asked, “Have you ever been on a train before?”
“I didn’t realize this was one,” Yoongi replied truthfully. He rested his head on the top of the couch. It was much harder than the soft cushions, but it was still so much better than anything he’d ever had.
Hoseok stared at him curiously, swirling the liquid in his glass as he asked, “So. Do you want to explain how you lost your hearing?”
Yoongi was quiet for a while as he wondered to himself whether or not it was a good idea to tell Hoseok anything more. He stared at his wrist, watching as the redness from how hard Hoseok had held onto him.
Hoseok made him uneasy, and frankly Yoongi was terrified of him. He didn’t have to look very hard to see that Hoseok was important to President Jung. And that meant that Hoseok was capable of some terrible things. No matter how caring he tried to be. Maybe his looks and fake words worked on people in the Inner City, but it certainly didn’t work on Yoongi.
But the only way to survive for now was to play the game that Hoseok wanted him to.
“It’s not much of a story. During the Quell, there was an explosion near me. And, from that point on, it was hard for me to hear out of my left ear,” Yoongi explained. He rubbed his wrist gently, looking around the room for anything that he could take and use to his advantage.
Hoseok grabbed Yoongi’s wrist, examining it with a quiet hum, “I was 13 during the Quell. I guess that was old enough for me to actually remember things about the old world. Hm. This is definitely going to bruise. Sorry about that. I had to make sure that you weren’t going to run away.”
“I have better survival skills than that,” Yoongi replied.
“I just figured that you’d realize you’re not ever going to return to the Principle again,” Hoseok shrugged. He pressed his glass against Yoongi’s wrist, the cold liquid inside shocking Yoongi’s skin.
Yoongi fell quiet as Hoseok’s words sunk in.
Wherever they were heading, he was going to die. Somehow, that thought didn’t scare Yoongi quite as much as it should have. Yoongi had been running from death for so long, imagining how it would happen, that it just felt like an inevitability that would catch up to him any day.
“Would you like a sip,” Hoseok offered.
Yoongi’s eyes shifted to the glass. It clearly wasn’t poisonous. Hoseok had been drinking from it the entire time. Yoongi could smell it on Hoseok’s breath. It was a strange scent, but it wasn’t bad. And he needed water so badly.
Hoseok let Yoongi take the glass in his hand. Yoongi took a small sip, only for a burning sensation to tear through his throat. Not only did it burn, but it was bitter. Yoongi almost immediately started coughing, the glass slipping through his hands as he tried to fight the sensation.
The glass hit the carpet with a dull thud, the contents of it spilling onto the floor. But Hoseok didn’t seem mad. In fact, he looked amused.
“I guess I should have warned you about that,” Hoseok chuckled. “But hey, at least you’re going to be a little more relaxed when we get to the Inner City. No questions. Go wash your face. There’s a change of clothes for you in the corner there. Hopefully it fits. It was quite difficult to measure you while you were sleeping.”
Yoongi felt disgust rise in his body again as he realized what had happened in the last 12 hours. But he shoved the feeling back down, repeating in his mind over and over again that he had to listen to Hoseok.
In the corner was a dress not much different than his own. In fact, it was nearly identical to his. The only difference was that it looked like what his first looked like when it was clean, and there was some ruffle detailing added to the bottom of it. They even added an apron and a new sheath for his dagger.
Yoongi turned around to face Hoseok and asked, “You’re letting me keep my dagger?”
“I said no questions,” Hoseok sighed. He stood up, picking up the glass from the ground. He put it down on the table as he walked over to Yoongi, his body ending up just inches away from Yoongi’s.
He was much taller than Yoongi — probably because he had the luxury of eating more than potatoes and bread and drinking water once every few days.
Hoseok reached around Yoongi’s back, untying his apron with just one hand as he added, “But I suppose that’s a fair one. You’re going to need it. But that also means that I am trusting you to not even think about using it on anyone but who you’re directed to use it on.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Yoongi quietly replied. He lifted his hands, letting Hoseok take the apron off of him. “Are you going to keep undressing me, or are you going to have some decency and turn around?”
Hoseok pulled on Yoongi’s apron with a quiet laugh, “So many questions. You can flatter yourself, but you’re not exactly what I’m looking for.”
“Oh yeah, I’m not an Inner City, fancy clothes wearing, makeup wearing, President loving, high class girl,” Yoongi nodded sarcastically. He threw his apron into Hoseok’s hands and leaned back against the wall of the train. “Every man like you that I’ve met has said that, and they all end up going home with someone from the Principle.”
“Well, every man isn’t going to be the next President,” Hoseok replied. His hand drifted up to undo the buttons on the back of Yoongi’s dress. “I’m surprised you know about all of that and not what a train is.”
Yoongi just shrugged his shoulders with a small sigh, “Well people see and people talk. There’s lots of rumors of what happens in the rich man’s land.”
Hoseok fell silent as he slipped Yoongi’s dress off. Only Yoongi’s beaten boots remained.
Men were all talk. That was what Yoongi had discovered very early on. And Hoseok didn’t seem to be much different because, as much as he could say he wasn’t attracted to Yoongi, the way his eyes roamed around Yoongi’s body said something very different.
It disgusted Yoongi and didn’t phase him all at once.
Yoongi turned himself around and put his new dress on, the sound of Hoseok’s feet retracting as he left. The fabric was soft on his skin, much higher quality than that of his old dress. It was beautiful. The apron was much heavier than his old one. Now that it was closer, Yoongi could see that there was embroidery on it.
The sheath was made to perfectly fit Yoongi’s dagger. The clothes perfectly tailored to his body. The thought of it made Yoongi’s skin crawl, like there were invisible hands on him. Even the warmth of the towel against his skin felt wrong.
People had prepared for him to be here right at this moment.
When Yoongi turned back around, Hoseok was watching him with a potato in his hand.
“You’re much too skinny. You’ll need to put on some weight before it starts,” Hoseok stated. He set the potato down on the table, pulling up a chair for Yoongi to sit in. “All we have here on the train are potatoes.”
Yoongi sat down, tearing off a small section of the potato for himself. He placed it on the table and put the rest of the potato in the pocket of his apron.
Hoseok leaned against the table, looking down at Yoongi with a curious look. He made Yoongi feel like a rat trapped in a cage. Like an oddity to be examined and studied until he figured out what made Yoongi tick.
“You don’t have to do that. You’ll get more food when we get there. This is just to hold you over, so just eat,” Hoseok prompted. He reached down into the pocket of Yoongi’s apron and pulled the potato out. “How about this? Eat the entire thing, right now, or I’ll kill everyone you love.”
“If you’ve really been following me, you’d know that I have nobody,” Yoongi replied.
It didn’t hurt anymore. Yoongi didn’t have time to let it hurt. Loneliness was just a part of survival. It was a matter of fact. People around you die and, if you’re not smart enough, you’ll be the one that goes next.
Honestly, Yoongi didn’t even remember his family anymore. There was no concept of family when you were in the Principle. The few mothers there were were those who were insane enough to take in the kids that people left on the streets. It was too easy to get separated, to be displaced, to lose people around you.
Eventually, even the romantics lost hope and realized that attachments only meant hurt in the end.
“There has to be at least one person you care about. Everybody has someone.”
Yoongi bit into the warm, unseasoned potato, and shook his head, “Maybe in the Inner City. But down there, nobody has anyone. The mothers you see in the park? They just took one of the babies people left out. They’ll abandon them once they’re old enough.”
“Were you abandoned by your family after the Quell,” Hoseok asked.
“Not really. I just don’t know what happened to them,” Yoongi replied. He took the last bite of the potato, allowing the warmth to sit in his mouth for a moment longer before he let it go.
The train rocked to a halt, a loud screech followed by a voice filling the room. Yoongi could barely understand what it was saying. The only words he heard were “Inner City”. Yoongi almost had to do a double take at the words.
They couldn’t have been that close to the Inner City when they first stepped onto the train. How was it possible that they got here so quickly in such a short time? By foot, it would take Yoongi an entire day to make it there. They couldn’t have been on the train for more than half an hour.
“Follow right behind me. We’re already running a bit late,” Hoseok sighed.
Hoseok marched towards the door, standing right in front of it as it opened up. Whatever was on the other side was far too bright for Yoongi’s eyes, and suddenly it hit him.
He was going to be one of the first people from the Principle to ever step inside the Inner City.
When Yoongi stepped outside the train, his eyes couldn’t focus on one thing. Everything was so bright. The sun was shining down brighter than Yoongi could have ever imagined.
The buildings were all in shades of gray and in architecture that was extremely familiar to the old world, but it wasn’t at all like the dirt and ash grayness of the city. Their buildings were bright, with hints of silver and metal accents. The streets were unnaturally clean. There wasn’t a hint of trash or beggars anywhere. In fact, there were more trees and flowers and grass than grifters on the streets in the Principle.
The men walking around had buzzcuts, their hair in unnaturally pale colors. The clothing was big and grand and in protruding shapes and colors. Feathers and ruffles and random straps everywhere were common.
The only thing that was recognizable from the Principle was the soldiers walking around. Only, they were all relaxed. Lounging around. They had their armor on, but their helmets and gloves were all off.
Hoseok took in a deep breath, looking relieved to finally be back where he belonged. He undid the clasp on his helmet, finally taking it off to reveal his hair. Hoseok’s hair was almost white, with just the tiniest hint of yellow in it. Even after having his helmet on, it looked like every strand was individually placed to be in a perfect, swept back look.
It made Yoongi feel just a little bit more uncomfortable.
Hoseok began walking towards the massive building ahead of them. The capitol building of the Principle. It was bigger than a castle, and somehow even more extravagant than Yoongi could have imagined. Hundreds and hundreds of people were gathered around the steps, sectioned off by ropes as they waited with boxes pointed towards something at the top.
They didn’t go around the crowd. No. Instead, Hoseok walked right through them between the ropes. All eyes fell on them as Yoongi followed Hoseok through and up the massive marble stairs. The sound of clicking surrounded them, along with flashes of light and loud cheering.
At the very top was a wooden podium, the red and white flag of the New Regime dangling from it. A man with bright green hair that towered up high above his head and a sharply cut suit smiled at Hoseok, saluting him as he walked up.
Suddenly, Hoseok grabbed Yoongi by the wrist, pulling him to stand by his side on the top of the staircase.
“Our very last candidate has returned with his champion,” The man announced with a cheery smile. His voice boomed throughout the capitol, causing the crowd to loudly scream back in response.
“Everybody meet Min Yoongi from the Principle, and his sponsor — Congressman Jung Hoseok!”
Yoongi’s head turned to Hoseok in shock, but Hoseok didn’t even look at him. He waved down at the adoring crowd with a big smile plastered on his face. But the calculated coldness in his eyes didn’t waver as he smiled.
A performer. That’s what Hoseok was.
Yoongi’s voice slipped out of his throat as he whispered, “Jung?”
Hoseok continued to smile as he replied, “Oh, did I not tell you my last name? I’m Jung Hoseok. Congressman, your sponsor, and youngest son to President Jung. Nice to meet you.”
The next hour crawled by painfully slowly.
The revelation that Hoseok wasn’t just another Inner City jerk, but the son of the dictator that left the entire fucking world as ashes, left Yoongi feeling much more disgusted and terrified than he was just a few minutes ago. Things made much more sense but, for once, Yoongi didn’t want to understand.
As soon as the crowd died down, Hoseok placed his hand on Yoongi’s lower back and pushed him up the stairs. A deep, long suppressed anger boiled up through Hoseok’s hand and, suddenly, Yoongi hoped that he’d die right then and there.
At least then, Hoseok would have to go out and find a new person to sponsor for whatever sick and twisted anniversary event the Inner City was planning and Yoongi wouldn’t have to put up with a person with President Jung’s blood in his veins acting like Yoongi was his property.
Yoongi slapped Hoseok’s hand off his body with a quiet hiss, “Fuck you. Don’t you dare touch me.”
“You don’t talk to me like that,” Hoseok murmured. He sped up, placing his hand on Yoongi’s back yet again. “We’re in public, being watched by everyone in the Inner City, and I am your sponsor. Which means that, for the rest of your time here, I control how this experience is for you. If you embarrass me on TV, it’ll just be your head rolling back down to the Principle. Got it?”
Yoongi stepped away from Hoseok, holding his head high as he walked through the doorway. Truthfully, he had no idea where he was going. But he needed to be anywhere but right next to Congressman Jung at the moment.
“We were getting along just a moment ago. Do you really hate my father so much that just learning that I’m related to him makes you hate me,” Hoseok asked frustratedly.
The doors to the Capitol building slammed shut behind them, the loud cheering and clicking suddenly disappearing. The inside of the building was beautiful, but it was like a maze of gray and silver. The ceilings went higher than Yoongi could ever imagine, a large dangling light that looked like dripping water illuminating the entire room.
Just ahead, Yoongi could see an arch leading to a massive open courtyard. The end of it was completely out of sight. It was just a massive expanse of trees and benches and water. In fact, just the first room felt like a street to a city Yoongi couldn’t even begin to imagine the expanse of.
It made Yoongi sick. The idea that the people in the Inner City had all of this in just one building, while the people in the Principle couldn’t even find a place to sleep at night without fear of being eaten alive, made him want to scream.
So he did.
“My entire life for the last decade has been one struggle to survive on nothing after another because of him,” Yoongi screamed. “But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? Because you’re so comfortable up here, living with everything you could ever want while your dad claims he’s made the world so much better. Well not for me and everybody else in the Principle.”
Hoseok stood still, completely unphased by Yoongi’s screaming. In fact, nobody around them seemed to be bothered to even look at what was going on.
“I thought you were going to be the first one to not throw a tantrum,” Hoseok sighed. “Have you ever considered that there’s a reason you live so poorly, and that it’s maybe connected to your people’s refusal to be ruled by our great president? We all get what we deserve in life.”
Hoseok looked Yoongi up and down, lowering his voice as he stepped towards him, “And, word of advice, you might not want to express your anger so vocally. There are eyes everywhere. And I would quite honestly hate to have to find another champion to sponsor so soon. Do you understand me?”
Option one. Run away right now. Be free of anyone even remotely related to President Jung. Get Hoseok so far away that they could forget they ever even shared the same air But risk certain death or a life running away from soldiers.
Option two. Listen to Hoseok and try to survive for as long as possible. The only compromise would be having to pretend like he didn’t resent him and President Jung to his very core.
Yoongi wasn’t very good at running. But he wasn’t good at holding his tongue either. In a lifetime without being around other people, he never had to learn how to not express what he felt.
“Hate me all you want. I’m trying to make it a little easier for you here. Especially since you’re going to be spending the rest of your life here no matter how things turn out,” Hoseok added. He held his hand out towards Yoongi in a perfect, 90 degree angle, his eyes showing no hint of emotion. “Can I show you to your room now?”
Yoongi looked down at Hoseok’s hand. Maybe he wanted to die right about now, but he knew that he couldn’t. Not yet.
So he took Hoseok’s hand with a quiet sigh, “Fine. But my opinion doesn’t change on you or President Jung.”
“I didn’t expect it to,” Hoseok replied.
He led Yoongi through the hallway to the very left of them, the expanse of space almost making the space feel as if they were in open air. Yoongi still couldn’t shake his disgust at it all. But there was something about it that struck him with awe.
“I do hope you’ll warm up to me though,” Hoseok said as they walked. “It’ll make this experience a lot easier for the both of us.”
Yoongi glanced to the side at Hoseok and pursed his lips, “What even is this experience? All of this, and you still haven’t told me why you brought me here in the first place.”
“I was supposed to when you entered the building, but you began yelling at me. I’m your sponsor, which means I am personally choosing and paying for you to come up here. I’m in charge of everything — including your stay here and your training,” Hoseok explained. He took a turn, leading them down another series of paths. Yoongi felt like they had been walking for forever already with no end in sight. “In less than two weeks, you are going to be entering a stadium and battling against other champions sponsored from the Principle.”
Yoongi didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t even quite sure that he was processing all of that information correctly.
They walked into a deeper part of the building, the walls suddenly becoming even more expensive looking and ornate. There were portraits depicting President Jung and his family hung everywhere.
Now that Yoongi could see Hoseok right next to his father, the similarities was all too clear. Even down to the look in their eyes. President Jung really just looked like Hoseok if he were about 20 years older. None of the other kids in the painting had the resemblance to their dad as Hoseok did.
It was a little unnerving seeing both of them stare at him. Especially as Hoseok told him he was being set up to die for a celebration of the Regime’s 10th anniversary.
Yoongi was starting to get the feeling that he had made the wrong choice by following Hoseok.
Before Yoongi could respond, Hoseok suddenly cut across him, making a sharp turn towards a doorway with a pad on the door handle. The door itself was made out of what looked to be steel, a thick strip of what Yoongi assumed was the locking mechanism running through the double doors.
Hoseok placed his hand on the pad, something inside clicking open.
“This will be your bedroom for your time here. Mine is right next to yours for easy access,” Hoseok said quietly. He opened the door, revealing a room bigger than even the most successful brothel in the Principle.
Hoseok pushed Yoongi inside, forcing him to stand right in the sunlight beaming from the curtains. The floor was carpeted with something softer than Yoongi had ever felt before. A large bed stood in front of them, with pillows and blankets that looked a million times warmer and softer than the concrete slabs Yoongi was used to sleeping on.
A part of him hated it, and a part of him wished he were already sleeping on it.
There was a floor length mirror turned away from them and a closet opened to reveal the wardrobe of outfits that Yoongi could guess had been tailored to fit him along with a divider to change in. Underneath the clothes were a few pairs of shoes — none of them practical looking.
Yoongi wondered to himself why he would need clothes like that if he was just going to die.
To the side was a table and a bookshelf with a single chair in front of them. A strange, gray device hung on the wall. On the other end of the room, directly opposite, was a bathroom. But it seemed to actually be clean and not inhabited by rats and feces.
“The door will be locked with my handprint for a day or so. If you’re on your best behavior, we can change it so that you can open it as well,” Hoseok explained. He stood by the doorway, standing completely straight as he added, “You still will not be allowed to leave without my permission. If you wish to speak to me, you will use your telephone. Dial 1 to call me. Understood?”
‘Understood,” Yoongi nodded back. He walked around, examining the things on his nightstand. There was a tray, a plant nestled in a few rocks, and a clock.
Hoseok looked around at Yoongi’s room, examining it carefully as he continued, “And please don’t break anything. If you do, I will have to pay for it. And, unfortunately, being a Congressman does not pay well.”
Yoongi picked up a rock from the little plant, a scoff coming out of him as he replied, “The last job I worked, I could only afford to buy a bowl of rice if I worked for 12 hours straight.”
He turned around, throwing the rock as hard as he could. The mirror broke apart with a loud crack and spilled all over the carpeted floor. The room began to flash red, a loud, screeching noise blinking in and out of existence.
“Thank you so much for that,” Hoseok sighed. He turned around, pressing a series of buttons on the pad behind him. The room stopped flashing, and the sound immediately stopped. “I suppose I should have told you to fuck everything up instead. Now I’m gonna have to file an incident report.”
“I would have broken that even if you told me it was okay,” Yoongi laughed dryly.
Hoseok shook his head with a quiet chuckle and stepped out of the doorway, “You’re hilarious, Min Yoongi. Just rest. Some servants will come in here and clean up and fit you for dinner tonight. Whatever role you are assigned, act like it. Come with a smile please. You’ll be meeting the other champions.”
Hoseok closed the door behind him, the doors locking with a click.
Yoongi was left standing by himself in the silent room, angry and confused by the sound of his name on Hoseok’s tongue.
True to Hoseok’s word, a group of four servants came into Yoongi’s room not long later. They tore Yoongi from the spot where he had been standing. Two of them led him to the bathroom to draw him a bath while the other two began cleaning up the shards of glass on the floor.
Even though they were servants, they looked put together and nice. The clothes they wore were a million times nicer than even the nicest person in the Principle. Their hair wasn’t a natural color either, but it was definitely duller than everyone else’s. They had jewelry on and color on their eyes.
Yoongi was pushed into the bath, the servants immediately scrubbing down his entire body with all sorts of oils and soaps. His skin burned, and so did his face as they began to wash every nook and cranny of his body. It was humiliating having total strangers touch him like this. But Yoongi felt strangely…clean afterwards. He’d forgotten what his skin felt like without a layer of dirt on it.
Briefly, Yoongi wondered if Hoseok had servants to bathe him like this.
Who was Yoongi kidding? He was the son of President Jung. He probably had servants to feed him. Clothe him. Probably some just to dance around and sing for his entertainment. Maybe even one to get him off. Yoongi doubted that Hoseok did anything by himself.
Once the servants were done bathing him, they covered him in a towel and took him to the now cleaned up mirror. There was no glass left in the case, only the metal frame that it came in. But it didn’t deter them at all. Suddenly, four pairs of hands were all over Yoongi, pulling at his hair and skin and pushing fabric against him.
Yoongi could barely see the dress that he was put in. All he could feel was that it was short, and it was soft. The powder pink fabric of the dress glistened against the light. Yoongi couldn’t remember the last time he wore something with this much color on it. Yoongi also couldn’t feel it go down much further than his ass. The only reason he knew it covered his butt was because the bottom of the lace just barely hit the back of his thighs. Or maybe that was the underwear they gave him.
How was he supposed to fight in this?
Suddenly, Yoongi’s door clicked open again. The man from before with the bright green hair walked in the room with that same, plastered smile. His eyes landed on Yoongi’s body first, and then travelled up to his face.
“I see they’ve got you prepared quite well,” He laughed. The man walked closer to him, glancing at the broken mirror and the shards in a bucket. “My name is Kim Ki-Duk. I am here to give you a quick pep talk before you make your first official appearance. Do you mind if I sit?”
Before Yoongi could even answer, the servants pulled a chair out of nowhere and set it down for Ki-Duk to sit in. Yoongi could feel his eyes on his legs. Yet another Inner City creep — Yoongi was beginning to wonder if any of them had the ability to not be so creepy.
“I’m sure that Congressman Jung has explained to you why you’re here. To make this the most watchable experience for our viewers all across the city, we have been assessing your behavior to choose the best role for you. From your actions prior to your arrival, we’ve determined that you would be best suited for the sexual appeal needed for this event,” Ki-Duk explained. “Of course, you will need to gain some weight. But you already have the ability to be quite…appetizing. Depending on how well you play to these strengths, you will be able to win the people’s votes and gain advantages later on. Now, I’ve got a few more champions to run to. So I wish you the best of luck. Congressman Jung will guide you well.”
Ki-Duk stood up, the servants turning their attention to him. They saluted to him as he quickly ran out, their ring fingers pressed down to their thumbs again.
The pep talk only left Yoongi with more questions and less information that made sense. Sure. Gladiator fighting made sense. The sponsoring sort of made sense. But what kind of fight to the death needed a sexual appeal?
Yoongi turned to one of the servants that was pulling on his hair and asked, “Excuse me. How are people going to vote? And how are they going to know how well I am seducing people if they aren’t watching us at the dinner?”
“There’s going to be several televised events,” He explained. “This televised event is the first of many leading up to the games. There will also be several promotional events, like photoshoots. My name is Kim Seokjin. I’ll be your hairstylist for all of them. When something is televised, it means that people are seeing it on their televisions at home while it’s happening here.”
“How did you—”
Seokjin smiled at him, brushing a piece of hair out of Yoongi’s face with a comb, “None of the other champions knew what a television was either. Apparently they don’t have them in the Principle.”
Yoongi thought of the construction that Hoseok had pointed out to him. The realization of what Hoseok meant suddenly hit Yoongi.
“Do you want to see how you look,” Seokjin asked.
It seemed that people in the Inner City had a habit of doing things before they got a response. Seokjin held out a mirror, holding it up to Yoongi’s face. And, somehow, just the sight of himself felt like a punch in the gut.
At first, Yoongi didn’t recognize himself. But, as his eyes darted around his face, he began to realize that the person in the mirror was him. And he looked beautiful. There was gold on his face, just the slightest bit of something shimmering on his eyes.
Glitter.
It was called glitter.
His skin was pale. Much paler than he’d expected. His cheeks were flushed pink and full despite how underweight he was. His eyes and hair were dark brown. His skin glowed. His lips were pink as well and just as full as his cheeks. There was something on his lips that made it look as if they were coated in water.
Yoongi almost looked…inhuman.
The room beeped again, this time much higher pitched and less mechanic than earlier. The servants began to rush to clean up. Seokjin set the mirror down, smiling at Yoongi as him and the rest of them exited.
“Wait,” Yoongi called out behind them. “Where are you going?”
As they left, Hoseok stepped in. Only now, he wasn’t wearing armor. Gone was the helmet and glossy padding. His hair was still swept back, a red vest layered over a perfectly white collared shirt sitting snug on his body with a matching pair of red slacks and a heavy red trench coat over it all. An emotionless expression sat on his face as he made eye contact with Yoongi.
Yoongi was almost taken aback. It was so jarring to see Hoseok out of the armor, and it was even more shocking for Yoongi to find that Hoseok was actually quite handsome like this. He looked powerful. It wasn’t hard to believe that he was extremely important to the Regime.
Something hot boiled in the pit of Yoongi’s stomach as Hoseok stepped closer, his dress shoes sinking into the carpet as he walked. Yoongi found himself backing away from him instinctually.
“This is a different route than I thought they’d go for you. Though I suppose the angered rebel was already taken,” Hoseok commented. His eyes drifted down to Yoongi’s body, examining the outfit closely. “I see they’re committed to making it seem more like something people would wear in the Principle. I would’ve hoped they’d give you shoes though.”
The back of Yoongi’s knees hit the bed, causing him to fall down onto the bed. His body immediately sunk into it. Yoongi felt like he was laying on a pile of feathers.
Hoseok looked around the room, his eyes finding something on the floor. He picked it up off the ground and walked towards Yoongi. It was a pair of champagne colored, chunky shoes. Yoongi had never seen a shoe like it. It wasn’t a flat, or a sneaker, or the heels he’d seen his stylists wearing.
The bed fought to keep Yoongi down as he sat up to grab the shoes. But, instead of giving them over, Hoseok got down on his knees and grabbed Yoongi by the ankle. He wasn’t nearly as rough this time around. It would look bad to have a red ring around Yoongi’s ankle.
Yoongi watched as Hoseok carefully slipped each shoe on. His eyes were trained to Yoongi feet, never straying up further than his ankle. Hoseok buckled each shoe quickly and stood up, brushing invisible dust off of his knees.
“You look nice,” Hoseok added.
Yoongi stood up only to find that Hoseok wasn’t actually much taller than him without the boots. He looked Hoseok up and down again, ignoring the lump in his throat as he replied, “You look nice too. I think I like this better than when you’re wearing your armor.”
Hoseok grabbed Yoongi’s wrist, the slightest hint of a smile appearing on his face as he nodded, “I’ll be honest, I like it better too. The armor gets heavy after a while. Walk with me. I’m curious about what Ki-Duk told you.”
They walked out of Yoongi’s room together, the hallways almost looking foreign. Yoongi honestly didn’t know why he expected to step out and be back in the Principle again. But, now that it was clear that he wasn’t, something in his heart ached and swelled with sadness for his home.
The Principle didn’t treat him well by any means. But it was all he knew. If there was a place Yoongi was going to die, he had always envisioned it to be in the Principle after fighting as hard as he could to make a life for himself.
“When did he leave,” Hoseok asked.
Yoongi looked up at him with a quiet hum, “Maybe 10 minutes ago? It wasn’t that long ago actually.”
“So he came to you right after me,” Hoseok noted as they walked back down the hallway they entered from. “What exactly did he say to you?”
“Um…he told me that they’ve been observing me. And that they chose me to be the sex appeal,” Yoongi added. He couldn’t help but laugh at the idea. Not just that they’d need sex appeal for a death match, but that they’d choose him of all people to do it. “Oh, and he said I’m appetizing. As if I were food.”
Hoseok pursed his lips, his eyes staying trained on their path ahead as he replied, “Oh I’m sure he’d like to eat you. Don’t tell anybody that I told you this, but he has a tendency to be creepy. And you’re much prettier than the other champions.”
“Should I be worried,” Yoongi asked.
Hoseok brought Yoongi’s wrist up to their faces, his fingers tightening around it as he shook his head, “It’s fine. I’ll watch out for you. Just stick by me while you’re here.”
“I thought I had no choice in that,” Yoongi smiled.
The first flashes of light alerted them of their proximity to the dinner. Hoseok’s hand let go of Yoongi’s wrist, and his face snapped back to its quiet, emotionless expression. It happened so fast, Yoongi would have missed the change if he blinked.
They stood behind another pair. The man in front of them wore white instead of red, and the woman next to him wore a suit that looked like fire itself. Suddenly, it dawned on Yoongi that that was another champion. And, from the sharp edges of her clothing, that was the one that got the angered rebel route.
People held their boxes up to Hoseok and Yoongi, the light nearly blinding him as they screamed for their attention. Some of them had stands that their boxes rested on, wires that protruded from the box sitting on the floor.
They walked through a doorway, being greeted by eight small, circular tables in front of a large stage. This room was more grand than anything else Yoongi had seen. There were more of the dripping lights on the ceiling, a large one hanging above them. Around the edges of the room were more people with mounted boxes and what Yoongi assumed were servants.
A man in a white suit held his hand out. Hoseok shrugged off his trench coat, leaving his casual suit revealed. The man took it away, and a woman wearing another white suit walked up to them and prompt walked away.
Hoseok began to follow her, dragging Yoongi along with him by the wrist.
They were shown to one of the circular tables, Hoseok’s name written on a placard in the middle of a decoration of red and white flowers more beautiful than anything Yoongi had ever seen.
Hoseok leaned against the arm of his chair, moving closer to Yoongi as he whispered, “The cameras and the public are watching. Don’t ever let your guard down around them.”
“You’ll have no problem with that,” Yoongi replied. “My guard is never down when I’m around people. I find that that’s true especially when I’m with the man who took me from my home to put me in a game of certain death.”
Hoseok stared at Yoongi for a long moment.
If he was about to say something, Yoongi would never know what it was. The whole room suddenly became quiet, the lights dimming as two figures appeared on the stage.
“Please welcome, your great leaders, President Jung and the First Lady of the New World Regime.”
Looking around at the entire room, Yoongi could see the faces of the other champions. And they looked just as angry and disgusted as he felt. It was a shared feeling amongst all of them. Especially as they all made eye contact.
Conversely, Hoseok and the other sponsors looked more than happy to see him. Their eyes were all fixed on them, a hint of pride in their eyes as they stood up and saluted him.
Yoongi could barely hear the President speak through the haze of his shared anger. But, judging from the champions that seemed to be listening, it wasn’t anything of value to them. Likely just more and more empty words about how he has transformed the world and made it better than ever.
The woman that had been in front of them stood up, all eyes suddenly on her. She grabbed her plate on the table and screamed, “Your New World isn’t any better than the old one you deranged fuck.”
She threw her plate at the President, causing a communal gasp from everyone watching. Soldiers ran out of the back rooms and dragged her away, her sponsor panickedly trying to get her to calm down as she continued screaming at him incoherently.
Hoseok glanced back at Yoongi, placing his hand on Yoongi’s knee to draw his attention away from the woman as he whispered, “That’s why I told you to be careful. The sex appeal doesn’t really work when you’re bruised and cut up.”
“Who knows. Some people might be into that,” Yoongi whispered back.
“Do you think people would still be into you with a bullet through your head,” Hoseok retorted. “She said less than you did. And with your track record of throwing things…”
“Point taken,” Yoongi replied.
A voice cut across the chaos, echoing through the room with a deep timbre, “Take that as an example. Dissenters will not be tolerated. But, for the other champions, there is good news. That is one less champion you will have to face. Your odds of survival have just increased.”
“You all know why you are here. We have arranged a special celebration for the ten year anniversary of our great, New World,” President Jung announced. “My children and wife have each hand-picked one of you to represent us in the arena. In less than two week’s time, you will all go face to face to fight for your lives. The winner will represent the best of the people. Hence why the amount of your fellow citizens that support you will change your odds in the arena. So win the public’s heart, and win the battle. For the winner will be allowed to stay with us and rise above the scum that is the Principle. Now, please. Enjoy your dinner.”
Waiters poured out of the same back rooms that the soldiers came from, holding trays with food on them. One stopped at Yoongi and Hoseok’s table, setting down a plate of short ribs, kimchi, and rice in front of them.
The sight and smell of it was so familiar. Something struck through the inside of Yoongi’s heart as he realized where he knew this from.
Yoongi felt something wet slip down his face as he stared at his food. In the distance, he could hear another champion begin to cry along with him.
“Are you okay? If you don’t want this, you can ask for something else,” Hoseok whispered. He placed his hand on the small of Yoongi’s back. His hand was nearly big enough to read the end of it. It was so strangely comforting. Yoongi wondered if his family used to do the same to comfort him when he was a child.
Yoongi gently wiped the tear off of his cheek and shook his head, “No. I’m fine. It’s just…I haven’t seen meat or rice or kimchi in such a long time. It…reminds me of something from back then.”
“This is called kalbi. You probably ate it all the time when you were younger,” Hoseok explained. “Try it.”
Yoongi grabbed his chopsticks, gingerly picking up the piece of meat. He tore off just a bit with his teeth. The flavors and warmth of the kalbi hit his tongue all at once. It tasted like home, like seasonings long forgotten. And, suddenly, Yoongi was hungry in a way he hadn’t been in a long time.
Before he could even process that he was eating something that wasn’t stale bread or boiled potatoes, his entire plate was gone. Hoseok hadn’t even touched his food. He just stared at Yoongi in curiosity.
“You have a little something right there,” Hoseok smiled. “Here, let me get it.”
Hoseok grabbed Yoongi’s face, gently wiping something off the corner of Yoongi’s lip with his napkin. Only when Yoongi actually looked over to Hoseok did he realize. Hoseok was smiling. Like, genuinely smiling. Not just that little hint of amusement that he usually gave.
Something in Yoongi’s heart jumped, and he didn’t know why.
“You have a really nice smile,” Yoongi found himself breathing out.
Hoseok’s entire body shifted back, his posture becoming stiff for just a moment. It was like just the mere call for attention to him snapped him back into his usual self. His smile faded into a pensive expression, and he sat back into his seat.
“Here,” Hoseok murmured. He cleared his throat as he picked up his plate. “I’m not really hungry. You can have the rest of it.”
Yoongi looked down at Hoseok’s plate. It was completely untouched, and Hoseok was most definitely lying about not being hungry. As much as Yoongi didn’t like Hoseok, he didn’t want to deprive him of food. That was going just as low as Hoseok and his family did.
A servant took away Yoongi’s empty plate, letting Hoseok set it down in front of Yoongi.
“Do you like the roses,” Hoseok asked.
Yoongi cocked his head in confusion, hesitantly laughing as he responded, “I’m probably going to sound really silly if this is something obvious, but I don’t know what that is.”
Hoseok looked away at the flowers for a moment, thinking to himself. He slowly reached out, grabbing one of the white ones. He slowly twisted it in his hand, observing each petal with a strange devotion.
“You’ve forgotten a lot of things, haven’t you,” Hoseok finally sighed. Yoongi didn’t bother to respond. Hoseok already knew the answer to that. “Yoongi, I’m going to be honest. I don’t think you’re likely to win. So do you mind if, instead of training you, I show you things? Like roses and real parks and televisions and cameras?”
Hoseok held the flower out to Yoongi as an offering.
Not a flower.
A white rose.
With no clear reason why, against all better judgement, Yoongi took the rose in his hand and nodded.
Hoseok stared at Yoongi in silence for the rest of the night, even as they walked back in the bitter cold midnight.
Yoongi couldn’t remember the last time he slept in a bed. Let alone one so warm and soft that laying in it felt like one long hug. So, when he was awoken by a shifting of weight in the mattress, he could barely open his eyes to see who the intruder was.
But Yoongi didn’t really need to look to know who it was. There was really only one person who had access to his room who would come this early in the morning.
When Yoongi finally opened his eyes, he found Hoseok sitting on the edge of the bed and watching him sleep. He was so groggy that, at first, he didn’t notice how different Hoseok looked. It took a few minutes of staring at each other for him to realize that Hoseok wasn’t in a suit or armor.
In fact, it looked like he just crawled out of bed. His hair was a little messy, falling in his eyes. He wore just a white t-shirt and a pair of cargo pants, a silver chain hanging around his neck. There were eye bags underneath his sleepy eyes, but they didn’t lack in their usual intensity.
“Good morning,” Hoseok said. His voice was raspy, a little deeper than usual.
It was strange, experiencing him like this. Imperfect. Yoongi wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it to be honest.
Well, Yoongi knew how he felt right now.
“Why are you here,” Yoongi pouted. “Go back to bed. You don’t even have enough sleep.”
“Well that was because I was up all night. I heard from a little birdie that you knocked out as soon as you hit the bed,” Hoseok retorted. He leaned in towards Yoongi, grabbing the edge of the blanket by Yoongi’s face. “Get up sleepyhead. I’ve got a day off today, so I planned some things for us.”
Yoongi slapped Hoseok’s arm away from the blanket and rolled over to turn away from him, “How about instead, you go sleep and only come back when you’re not tired anymore.”
The bed shifted again as Hoseok took his weight off. His footsteps grew quiet as he silently retreated. Once he couldn’t hear Hoseok anymore, Yoongi fully closed his eyes again, satisfied with his victory.
Until Hoseok sat back down, only on the other side of the bed this time. He pulled Yoongi’s blanket down, the cold air instantly waking Yoongi up. The fact that he was still wearing his dress from last night;s dinner didn’t help either.
“You’re a bitch,” Yoongi groaned.
He began to roll over again, only for Hoseok to jump at him. The entire bed jumped as Hoseok swiftly pinned Yoongi down on all sides. His hands grabbed onto Yoongi’s shoulders, his callouses scratching Yoongi’s skin in a way that reminded Yoongi of the unpolished stone he used to sleep on.
Their faces were just inches from each other, their bodies not much farther apart.
“You’re a little nightmare,” Hoseok replied.
“Awww…how cute. You really dream of me,” Yoongi sarcastically shot back.
Hoseok practically flew backwards, his face bright red as he scrambled to get himself away from Yoongi. He tried to hide his face by turning away. But it was too late. Yoongi already caught a glimpse of the mortified look on his face.
Yoongi’s own face grew hot as he thought about what that meant. He finally sat up against the headboard, clearing his throat as he deflected the conversation.
“I’ll go get ready.”
“Sounds good, I’ll be right outside,” Hoseok replied quickly.
Hoseok stood up and practically sprinted to the door, leaving Yoongi in the room by himself.
As Yoongi got up and changed out of his dress, he couldn’t help but smile to himself. There was a funny feeling in his chest that just didn’t go away. It was warm, and it hurt a little. But it felt nice in a strange way.
Yoongi put on one of the outfits marked with a label that said ‘casual wear’. It was a pair of gray, cargo pants that sort of looked like Hoseok’s and sat very low on his hips. Along with it was a white sweater that looked like it had been bulldozed by a pack of hungry children. Yoongi could have sworn that he’d seen people living in the Principle with sweaters with less holes than this.
There was a collar that was mostly intact, but one side barely even hung onto Yoongi’s shoulder. The rest of it could basically be described as a patch of fabric and some loosely tied together strings hanging onto Yoongi’s waist. But maybe that was just the way the Inner City thought people from the Principle dressed.
Struggling to survive chic. (The chic came from a pearl necklace with some silver stars in it and a pair of the same kind of chunky shoes as last night).
Yoongi stepped out of his room to find Hoseok standing off to the side, leaning against a wall and staring hard at the floor.
Hoseok looked over at Yoongi, his eyes immediately finding the entire exposed shoulder. He cocked an eyebrow in confusion at it, looking to Yoongi as if he had an answer.
“Hey,” Hoseok began. “Good morning. Haven’t seen you in a while,”
Yoongi pursed his lips to stop himself from laughing at Hoseok’s pathetic attempt to erase the beginning of the morning and walked up to him. He placed a hand on Hoseok’s shoulder and smiled, “Good morning. Care to tell me what you dreamt about last night?”
Hoseok’s face turned bright red again, but this time he didn’t turn away. Instead, he looked down at Yoongi’s hand on his shoulder and replied, “Taxes. I was dreaming about taxes.”
“I don’t know what taxes are, but it sure doesn’t sound like something to be embarrassed about,” Yoongi teased.
Hoseok shook his head, his face dead serious as he said, “Oh no. Taxes are quite scandalous things. Something about filing papers and paying the government that gets me up in a cold sweat every night.”
“Sounds fun. You should show me sometime,” Yoongi laughed.
“Maybe I will. But today, I’ve got some other things planned,” Hoseok chuckled, that ghost of a smile lighting up his eyes for a brief moment.
It was strange. For a moment there, Yoongi forgot who Hoseok was. He forgot where he was. Everything about that exchange felt so…normal in a way Yoongi never knew things could be. Hoseok wasn’t the son of a dictator that ruined Yoongi’s life. Hoseok wasn’t the man that ruined Yoongi’s life by bringing him here to die.
For a moment, Hoseok was less than the stuffy Inner City, rich people. And Yoongi was more than the scraping the streets for scraps of food people. They were just normal. They were two people that liked each other’s company about as much as they hated it.
The revelation that Hoseok was just as real of a person as Yoongi didn’t come until they sat on a bench at the park Yoongi saw when they first walked in.
Calling it a park was a little bit of a disgrace. It was practically a forest, and it was beautiful. There was a pond and a little river that ran through it, small wooden bridges connecting the pieces of land. There were pathways to walk along. Trees and flowers and grass everywhere.
Most of all, there were animals. Cute, fuzzy little things that looked clean and healthy and fat. Nothing like the dirty scavengers that existed down in the Principle.
They sat down on one of the benches underneath a tree with pink flowers when their feet got tired. The flowers were just beginning to bloom on it, a few petals here and there falling down onto Yoongi and Hoseok’s heads.
“You can lean on me if you’re still tired,” Was what Hoseok told Yoongi.
Yoongi was pretty sure that was how he ended up resting his head on Hoseok’s shoulder for hours.
Hoseok began pointing things out to Yoongi, naming them and telling him what they were. Lily pads. Cherry blossom trees. Peonies. Ducks. Azaleas. Lotuses. Orchids. Things Yoongi must have known once upon a time. But it didn’t upset him. Not when the rumbling of Hoseok’s voice was so relaxing.
And there was that strange feeling again. That weird, warm feeling that filled Yoongi’s chest despite the cold air around them. That smile that came to Yoongi’s face because Hoseok looked so content with explaining everything to him.
There was a lot of extra space on the bench. At any point, Yoongi could have moved away. But he found himself not wanting to move even a muscle.
Hoseok’s body was just as warm as Yoongi’s. His heart beat at the same pace. His hair wasn’t always perfectly combed back. He could get embarrassed easier than Yoongi could. He didn’t always have the same, robotic facial expression. He was the son of the worst man in the world, and he didn’t seem to care too much about the fact that Yoongi probably wouldn’t survive the games, but he cared enough to at least want to show Yoongi these little things.
“I would sit here forever if I could. Spend the rest of my life time exploring this place,” Hoseok admitted.
Yoongi looked down at the duck in the pond underneath them with a long sigh, “I could too. It’d be a lot less impressive though.”
“Down in the Principle, you guys don’t have a lot of nature, do you,” Hoseok asked.
“We don’t have a lot of anything,” Yoongi replied. “Except concrete and ash and starving people. But, in a way, it’s better than up here. They don’t lie and hide the worst parts of themselves. Everyone is too busy trying to make it through the next hour.”
Hoseok stayed silent.
Yoongi turned his head up to face him, only to find that Hoseok was already staring at him, “Like…Mr. Kim for example. He puts on a big face and talks a lot. But it really just hides the fact that he’s a creep who likes looking at people much younger than him. You’re a bit creepy too, but you hide it by trying to seem respectful.”
“I don’t mean to be,” Hoseok frowned. “I know I stare a lot, but I don’t mean it to be on your body or anything. Most of the time I’m not thinking anything. I swear.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind. At least you’re not over twice my age,” Yoongi shrugged. He watched as a petal from the cherry blossom tree landed right in front of their feet. “Was there anything else you had planned today? Or can we sit here for a little longer?”
Hoseok placed his hand on Yoongi’s head, his fingers gently running through Yoongi’s hair as he sighed, “I’m not in a rush. We can take the long way out of here, and then wander our way out of here and towards the lake.”
It took them another two hours before they made it to the lake between the detours through the park and the kitchen for food to bring and their rooms to get clothes to swim in. Yoongi wasn’t even aware that there were clothes made specifically to be in the water in.
They left the capitol building in Hoseok’s car. Yoongi quickly found that he actually could remember what a car was, but Hoseok’s looked more like a military truck than the ones he remembered. It probably was a military truck by the looks of the weapons and boxes of questionable items stored in the back.
It didn’t take long for them to reach an unpaved forest. Hoseok said it was one of the only unpaved areas left of the Inner City.
They took their things from the car and walked down to the lake through a well worn out dirt path. The water was already visible from where they had parked. But Yoongi couldn’t see the dock until they were further into the dirt path.
Hoseok set their basket of things down onto the wooden dock and commented, “This thing’s one of the only things left from the old world that’s fully intact. It’s been here for 30 years now.”
“So, it’s older than both of us,” Yoongi hummed. He looked down at the wood underneath his feet in awe. There was so much more that he wanted to know about it. But Yoongi was fine with just being a part of its history for now. “Do you want me to get the food out?”
“Not yet. You should get in the water first,” Hoseok replied.
He walked to the edge of the dock and slipped his shirt off. Yoongi didn’t know if he meant to, but he was definitely showing off his muscles. They weren’t big per se, but they were quite impressive, and Yoongi just knew that Hoseok could pick him up and throw him if needed.
Yoongi looked over the edge of the dock at the crystal blue water, his reflection staring back at him as he asked, “Is there something in there that’s going to eat me?”
“Jump in and find out,” Hoseok chuckled.
Normally, Yoongi wouldn’t trust a response like that. But he wanted to know what this was about so badly, and Hoseok clearly wasn’t going to tell him. So Yoongi took his clothes off, his swimsuit already on underneath. He carefully folded them up as Hoseok laid a blanket out on the dock.
Hoseok walked over to Yoongi, placing a hand on the strap of his swimsuit top, “They’re giving you a lot of knitted and lacy stuff. It looks good on you.”
“Thanks,” Yoongi smiled. He stood in front of Hoseok, looking up to him as he asked, “Is now a good time to tell you that I have no idea how to swim and the only time I’ve ever been in a body of water is when the servants gave me a bath?”
“It’s okay. I’ll jump in with you, and you can just hold on to me,” Hoseok said reassuringly. “Come on.”
Yoongi followed Hoseok to the edge of the dock. But it was abundantly clear that Hoseok had a lot more experience than him in being here. The moment Hoseok got to the edge, he jumped right in, disappearing into the water.
For a moment, Yoongi thought Hoseok died. But his head came back up past the water with that real smile on his face again. Hoseok swam back towards Yoongi, placing his hands on the dock to anchor him as he gestured for Yoongi to come into the water with him.
“No thank you. I wouldn’t like to die before I have to, and I don’t have the balls to just jump in like that,” Yoongi pouted.
“Yes you do,” Hoseok gently coaxed. He reached his hand out to Yoongi, closing his hand around Yoongi’s wrist. “It’s not that bad. You can do it, Yoongi.”
“Um actually, no I can’t,” Yoongi replied.
Hoseok let out an exaggerated sigh and shook his head.
A hand wrapped around Yoongi’s other wrist and, suddenly, Yoongi was going face first into the water.
The first thing Yoongi felt was cold, the next betrayal, and finally the realization that he can’t actually swim. He opened his eyes to the best of his ability, but everything was blurry. Hoseok’s hands weren’t around his wrists anymore. In fact, Yoongi didn’t even know where Hoseok went.
But then, Yoongi saw a figure with white blond hair swim towards him. He felt Hoseok’s arms around his body for just a moment, pulling him in and directing him to grab on, before his head came up, and he was in the air again.
Yoongi held onto Hoseok’s back like his life depended on it, gasping for breath as he yelled, “DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN YOU LITTLE BITCH.”
Hoseok looked up at Yoongi, grinning nearly ear to ear as he laughed, “Are you kidding me? I think that was the most fun I’ve ever had.”
At first, Yoongi couldn’t process that Hoseok was laughing. But, in the blink of an eye, all of the anger left Yoongi’s body. He started laughing with Hoseok, smiling as he thought about what just happened.
Yoongi didn’t know a laugh could be that contagious.
Hoseok’s grip around Yoongi’s body tightened, his laugh turning into a soft smile as he watched Yoongi, “I’m sorry, but that was so cute. You really have never been in the water before, have you?”
“No,” Yoongi replied. He felt his cheeks flush pink in embarrassment as he hid his face in Hoseok’s neck. “You’re really cruel.”
“I know,” Hoseok hummed.
“Please don’t let me go.”
“I’d never.”
Yoongi couldn’t get the day before out of his mind. Even the mere act of laying down on his bed made Yoongi think of their time on the dock.
He could feel the skin of Hoseok’s back against his body as they swam in the lake together, his warm body keeping Yoongi from freezing in the water. Hoseok never let go of Yoongi once. Even as they went back up to rest on the blanket, Hoseok kept his arm over Yoongi’s shoulder.
They laid there for what felt like hours, Yoongi’s head on Hoseok’s stomach and Hoseok’s t-shirt hanging on Yoongi’s body. In all that time, they didn’t say a word to each other. But it wasn’t awkward. In fact, it was quite comforting.
Yoongi was so used to spending time by himself. It was like he was back in the Principle again, watching the skies pass by. But now, he wasn’t all alone.
On the drive back, Yoongi remembered watching the wind whip through Hoseok’s hair. In his heart, it was still a bit strange to find himself enjoying spending time with Hoseok. But, the moment that they stepped back into the Capitol and that emotionless expression returned to Hoseok’s face, Yoongi remembered why it was off-putting.
It was strange to miss somebody who was still there. But gone was the happy and real version of Hoseok that Yoongi liked, and back was the cold, reserved, “perfect” Congressman Jung.
Congressman Jung let go of Yoongi’s wrist, but Yoongi found himself with the feeling that Hoseok didn’t want to just yet.
Something about that made Yoongi feel warm inside. It was the first time in a long time that he felt like he had a friend who truly cared about him. And it was the first time for as long as Yoongi could remember that he had a friend who he knew wouldn’t disappear forever the moment they parted ways.
Yoongi was pulled out of bed by a click at his door. He sat up, secretly hoping that a familiar face stepped through the door.
But, instead, it was his servants. They wheeled a tray of food right next to his bed. There was a bowl of stew in front of him that smelled of kimchi and a bowl of steamed eggs. The servants immediately dispersed, three of them going into the bathroom (probably to draw another bath) while one — Seokjin — stayed behind at Yoongi’s closet.
Yoongi took his bowl of eggs, his tray shifting just enough to reveal a folded up piece of paper underneath.
“Read it,” Seokjin called out. He wasn’t facing Yoongi, but Yoongi could hear the smile in his voice. “Congressman Jung stopped us on our way here just to put it there. He said you might enjoy the…morale boost before today’s events.”
Yoongi stared at the piece of paper, gently unfolding it to reveal a letter hand-written by Hoseok. His handwriting was quite blocky with rough corners on them.
I hope you’re not too tired from yesterday — the servants should be bringing you kimchi jjigae at my request. Please tell me when you see me today if they did. I have some duties to attend to, so we unfortunately will not be able to go on another adventure.
I’m writing this to let you know that you’re doing very well so far. The public seems to like you even more after the broadcasts this morning documenting our little escapades. Everyone enjoys a little bit of a scandal. They’re more likely to vote for you if they believe that something scandalous might happen between us — it’d be a shame to cut that story short.
P.S.
I can’t wait to see what you’re wearing for the interviews today. Keep everything I’ve said in mind. There will surely be questions about it.
“You know, Congressman Jung’s taken quite a liking to you,” Seokjin noted. “It’s not often that he’ll let someone touch him. Especially not for nearly as long as you two apparently were. Excuse my language, but he must really want to get inside of you.”
Yoongi carefully placed the letter in his bedside cabinet with a long sigh, “I know he does. But I think I’d rather die than spend a night with him.”
“I think he’d die to spend a night with you. Who could blame him, with how they’re dressing you up,” Seokjin replied. He walked over to the bed and stood behind the nightstand. “I’ve seen your outfits for all of the upcoming events. You might as well be wearing a towel.”
Yoongi swallowed a spoonful of his kimchi stew, letting the warmth and the flavor sit in his mouth for a moment before he went back in for another bite. He really didn’t want to think any more about being a scandal or a sex symbol. The only thing Yoongi wanted from Hoseok was the friend he had yesterday.
Why couldn’t it be that simple?
Maybe, in another universe, the old world was just the world, and Yoongi and Hoseok spent hours and hours sitting at that dock together. Maybe they’d be lovers then. But, above all, they’d be two friends living in perfect moments together — with not a care in the world about who they had to be.
Seokjin sat down on the bed, his eyes curious as he asked, “What do you think of Congressman Jung?”
Yoongi looked down at the blankets, pursing his lips as he shrugged, “I don’t know. I really liked him yesterday. He’s really sweet and caring and funny when it’s just us. And he’s a great friend. But I really, really hate him when he goes back to being the important Capitol man. It’s like all of the things that make me think I like him go away, and everything I hate about this world solidifies into him.”
“I must be honest, it’s a little jarring to hear the words sweet and caring and funny being used to describe him,” Seokjin smiled. He pushed the food towards Yoongi and patted his leg through the blanket sympathetically. “However you move forward with him, be careful.”
“Congressman Jung is very good at getting what he wants.”
Yoongi walked into the “set” room with Seokjin’s words on his mind. He stood with the other champions, waiting quietly for some sort of direction as he thought about what Seokjin had told him. It was troubling to say the least.
Most of the other champions had their sponsors with them. The only two that didn’t were what Yoongi soon learned was the queen’s champion and him. Everyone else looked much more elegant than he did. Their dresses were all floor length and flowy. Those not in dresses were in a much more casual looking version of a suit.
Yoongi was left in a dress that really just looked like a bunch of straps tied to Yoongi’s body. It covered his chest well enough, but the entire back all the way down to his butt was open because of the fact that the dress tied at the top. Bits of Yoongi’s waist were exposed, the skirt was just bouncy and short enough to reveal his ass as he walked, and a slit ran all the way up to his hip.
At least they gave him pretty underwear to supplement any sort of coverage.
“At this rate, I fear you’re going to end the week naked.”
Yoongi turned around to find Hoseok walking up to him. He wore the same suit as before, only this time in black, and his white shirt switched out for a pinstriped one. Yoongi couldn’t help but notice that, despite being perfectly put together, he still looked tired.
“I fear that I won’t even last a week,” Yoongi replied.
Hoseok walked up to him, immediately wrapping his hand around Yoongi’s bare waist. Suddenly, they were turning around, Hoseok’s back to the rest of the champions and sponsors.
His tired, cold expression melted away for a moment, a small smile coming to his face as he asked, “What did you have for breakfast?”
“Kimchi jjigae and egg,” Yoongi replied quietly. “What did you have for breakfast?”
“Paperwork and delegations,” Hoseok sighed. He looked down at Yoongi’s dress, wrinkling his nose in disapproval. “Do you want me to tell your stylists to tone it down? As much as I appreciate how bewitching you look, I’m sure this must be uncomfortable.”
Yoongi placed a hand on Hoseok’s arm and replied, “Could you? I feel really pretty but…I think this is as far as I really want to go.”
“Of course,” Hoseok smiled.
A loud, crackling noise filled the room, and the number 1 was called. The champions looked around at each other confusedly. But the sponsors seemed to understand what was going on. One of Hoseok’s siblings walked over to the queen’s champion and tapped them on the shoulder, pointing them towards a door in the corner of the room.
The moment the door was opened, the sound of cheering and music filled the room. Yoongi stepped to the side craning his neck to see what was on the other side.
Hoseok pulled him back just as someone on the other side closed the door, the music abruptly disappearing.
“Come, sit over here with me, You’re number 7, so you’ll be there last one interviewed,” Hoseok said. Yoongi followed him to the couch, sitting down right next to him. They had a full view of the room and the other champions. Hoseok’s face was blank as he watched his siblings. “Have you had a chance to learn their names yet?”
Yoongi shook his head, his eyes following Hoseok’s line of sight to one of his siblings. A girl who looked a little bit younger than Hoseok. But she was definitely still grown. Her face carried the same expression as Hoseok’s did.
Actually, all of their faces did. It was like they were all dolls, made in an assembly line with one set face.
“That’s my youngest sister, Na-ra. She’s actually your age. She doesn’t remember a lot about the world before either,” Hoseok sighed. He leaned back against the edge of the couch, turning his head to face Yoongi. “But she’s a lot different from you. Na-ra’s a lot more reserved. She’s the head of our military, so she has to be.”
Hoseok looked over at the next one, another girl who seemed to be much older than the both of them, “That’s my oldest sister, Ha-Yoon. She’s like, ten years older than us. By the time we were born, she was already helping lead the rebellion. She doesn’t do much around here anymore. She just walks the Capitol with her wife, wandering the markets together.”
The crackling noise came back, calling for champion number 2. Na-ra and her champion left together, the room filling with music and cheering for a brief moment once again. The champion before them didn’t return.
Hoseok lifted his hand, pointing to a pair that looked almost exactly the same, “Those two are Ju-won and Il-sung. They’re my older brothers, and they’re identical twins. Ju-won always wears red, and Il-sun always wears white. But you can start to tell after a while who’s who. They’re the heads of our scientific endeavors.”
Their attention shifted to a man in a colorful suit, the entire back panel cut out of it and filled with what looked like blades. It looked terrifying, and intriguing at the same time. Yoongi could really see the Capitol’s tendency for cutouts in his outfit.
The blades made Yoongi think of his dagger, tucked away in the same drawer as Hoseok’s letter.
“Over there is Seo-jun. Also an older brother. He’s more of the creative type. He designs all of the statues, buildings, and especially the games,” Hoseok explained. “There’s also Seon-ho. That’s the oldest of my brothers. His champion was the one that attacked the president, so he’s not participating anymore. He controls everything that the public sees about us.”
The voice called in the next champion, and then the next, and then the next as they sat together. Time seemed to barely crawl along. It didn’t help that Hoseok wasn’t saying much. The moment he stopped introducing his siblings, he closed off again.
Yoongi kept on trying to start up the conversation again, but nothing worked. By the time champion six was called and they were left alone in the room, Yoongi had entirely given up on trying to force even a conversation out of Hoseok. And, to be honest, it made Yoongi a little upset. Like Hoseok, his one friend here, was ignoring him.
“Champion 7.”
Hoseok looked up at a box in the corner of the ceiling with a quiet sigh. He stood up, offering Yoongi his hand.
“That’s you.”
Hoseok led Yoongi to the door, opening it for him.
Finally, Yoongi could see what was on the other side. It was a stage so brightly lit that Yoongi’s eyes had trouble focusing on one thing. There was a pit in the stage with musicians, playing a triumphant melody. People were sitting in the crowds behind the large boxes — cameras, Yoongi had to tell himself — that were fixated on Yoongi and Hoseok.
On a raised platform on the stage sat Ki-Duk in a white armchair, a desk in front of him with something in front of him. Opposite of his chair was a small couch, much like the one Yoongi and Hoseok had been sitting on in the room.
Hoseok was handed something by a crew member. It was black and circular at the top, with a handle at the bottom. A box sat in the middle of it with a logo that read “Capitol Exclusives”.
“Make sure you speak into the microphone,” Hoseok whispered as he waved to the people.
Yoongi almost didn’t catch his voice over the thunderous roar of the crowd. They walked to their couch together, waving and smiling at the people who seemed to like them. Yoongi tried to ignore the ones that looked mad that he was there, in front of them.
This time, Yoongi was much more prepared for what they wanted from him.
Yoongi put a little bounce in his step, swaying his hips and arms as he walked. They approached the platform quickly. It gave Yoongi the opportune moment to quickly turn his hips, letting the skirt of his dress swing.
There was an slight uproar in the crowd, and Hoseok looked almost proud of Yoongi.They sat down together, their bodies pressed shoulder to shoulder.
The audience and the music quieted down, giving Ki-Duk the time to scream into his microphone, “I promised you that we saved the best for last! You know them, you love them, and you’ve certainly heard about them. My name is Ki-Duk, and here for the very last interview of the day; Congressman Jung and Min Yoongi!”
Hoseok turned to the audience and began waving again, Yoongi following suit.
“Now, we’d like to get to know you, Yoongi. Let’s start off easy. Introduce yourself, your name, your age, what part of the Principle you’re from,” Ki-Duk smiled.
Yoongi looked at Ki-Duk, forcing a smile on his face as he replied, “My name is Min Yoongi. I’m currently 19, and I was living in the Central Principle when Congressman found me.”
“Speaking of Congressman Jung. How have you been enjoying your time here thus far? It seems that you’ve become well acquainted with the park and, especially, a particular person,” Ki-Duk asked.
It was clear to even Yoongi that this was a trap set specifically to get him to say something wrong. But Yoongi had no idea what was wrong in this instance. He knew he couldn’t say anything that remotely implied that he and Hoseok were closer than they should be. But, again, Yoongi didn’t know how close they should be.
Hoseok watched as Yoongi thought of what to say, his face expressionless but his eyes soft as he looked at him. It was hard to say that he looked like he wanted to burn the entire world down again.
“I’ve really loved the time I’ve spent here so far,” Yoongi lied. He kept his eyes on Ki-Duk, ignoring the fact that Hoseok was just silently staring at him. “I don’t remember much about things like dinners and flowers and cameras. It’s been amazing, remembering and getting to know everything again. Congressman Jung made the decision to spend our training time showing me some of those things. Yesterday, we walked through the park.”
Ki-Duk leaned forwards, a cheeky smile on his face as he turned towards the audience, “Well, it seems that walking wasn’t the only thing you did.”
The crowd laughed, finding the nonexistent joke much funnier than Yoongi could.
“We were there quite early in the morning, and I was quite tired,” Yoongi explained. He looked up at Hoseok, their eyes catching each other as Yoongi added, “There wasn’t much more to it.”
If Ki-Duk was happy with his response, Yoongi couldn’t see. His eyes were too busy being trapped in Hoseok’s to notice what was happening around them.
“Care to tell us about your outfit today,” Ki-Duk asked. “What, are you trying to seduce everyone? Or maybe, a particular someone?”
Just as Yoongi opened his mouth to respond, Hoseok sat up, cutting across him with a laugh, “Oh, I wish it was for a certain someone. I must say though, Yoongi’s stylists are inspired. It goes to show how good our citizens are at what they do.”
The crowd cheered at Hoseok’s praise. Yoongi was beginning to wonder if there was something giving them a cue to react.
“Yes, our citizens truly are the greatest,” Ki-Duk nodded. He leaned forwards again, his lips nearly touching his mic as he added, “May I ask. Is there a name to this certain someone, and does his name happen to be associated with the Jung family?”
Hoseok leaned into the microphone in Yoongi’s hand, a small smirk on his face as he replied, “Let’s just say, I hope it’s not working on anyone else.”
The people seemed to have mixed reactions. Some giggled, some began to whisper, some began to clap. There were a few resounding chuckles from men in the audience. But Yoongi could feel the shift in the room as people became interested in what was happening between them.
Yoongi knew what he had to do. But, instead of adding further fuel to the fire, Yoongi simply leaned in towards Hoseok and smiled at him.
“Before we move on to questions for our esteemed Congressman Jung, I speak on behalf of all in the Inner city when I say I hope you win the games. I would hate to see the spark between you two go out,” Ki-Duk smiled.
Hoseok turned his head to face Yoongi again, their faces inches away as he nodded, “I hope so too.”
The moment their interview ended, Yoongi and Hoseok were whisked away to another waiting room. There was a screen in the room, displaying a series of numbers and graphics that Yoongi didn’t quite understand. But he saw his name on there with a bar that went pretty high, so he felt safe in assuming that it was good.
There were a few other champions and sponsors around the room, all of them in different clothing and makeup than they were before. Most of Hoseok’s siblings were there too, including the one whose champion got executed. But he seemed to be organizing things.
Yoongi and Hoseok stood together, staring at the screen. Hoseok’s younger sister wandered over. She didn’t say a word to Hoseok, but she elbowed him in the ribs and smiled at him teasingly.
Hoseok’s face didn’t change, but the tips of his ears became a little red. Especially as his other siblings began to look around and smile at him.
“Mind your own champions, guys. Especially since Yoongi’s going to give them the beatdown of a century,” Hoseok huffed.
One of Hoseok’s siblings — Yoongi wasn’t sure who — called out, “Are you sure that scrawny little thing can even throw a punch? Your champion’s ranked number 6. Maybe you should devote your time to training him instead of cuddling and sucking his face.”
“You’re one to talk, Ju-won. Whose champion is ranked number 7 again,” Hoseok asked. “And we’re currently number one in ratings. So why don’t you run your big mouth off of a cliff?”
“I’ll jump off a cliff when you stop acting like you stop trying to get your dick wet the moment you see someone hot,” Ju-won yelled back. “Lock up all the pretty people up before Hoseok gets let loose!”
Yoongi watched the pair exchange words with a little smile on his face. It was funny seeing Hoseok bicker like this. There was a sense of a real bond between them that Yoongi couldn’t recall ever seeing before.
Family was something Yoongi hadn’t experienced in a long time. And he could tell that the other champions felt the same way. They all looked a little confused and a little nostalgic at the same time. Like they didn’t quite know what was happening in front of them, but they knew that it was something they were a part of lifetimes ago.
“Lock up the servants before Ju-won gets another one—”
“Okay, that’s enough,” Hoseok’s sister, Na-ra interjected. She looked over at Hoseok, laughing to herself as she waved him away, “Go get your styling done. You two still have a whole photoshoot to do and only a few hours left in the schedule.”
Hoseok immediately turned on his heels, dragging Yoongi along with him as he walked out of the room.
They were sat down on two chairs right next to each other in front of a mirror. Hands were suddenly all over Yoongi’s face, pulling and pinching and brushing things onto his skin. Yoongi didn’t like it. Between the dust flying everywhere and the hair of the brushes, he felt like he was constantly going to sneeze.
Hoseok sat completely still as it happened, his eyes watching Yoongi through the mirror. A hint of a smile upturned the corners of his lips. It made him look like he was really quite fond of Yoongi.
“Is there anything else to do today,” Yoongi asked.
“Well, not officially. I’m pretty much just working the rest of today,” Hoseok shrugged. “You should work on your skills with that dagger. It might save your life in the games.”
Yoongi pursed his lips, staying silent even as his makeup was finished and his wardrobe was brought out. From then on out, it was an endless cycle of trying on outfits and taking them off. The person in charge of the photoshoot didn’t seem to like anything that the styling team brought out.
Except for Hoseok’s outfit of course. He didn’t even have to change. The director just looked down at his red, collared shirt and white pants, asked to change into black pants, and rejected the fifth outfit Yoongi put on.
Eventually, they settled on the exact. Same. outfit. That Yoongi was wearing when he walked inside. With just some gloves to match the rest of the dress.
Yoongi wanted the games to start already so that he could justifiably fuck the man up. Apparently the feeling showed on his face, because Hoseok decided it would be best to move Yoongi a little further away from the man and grab onto his wrist very tightly to keep him from moving.
“Okay, first shot. I want you two over here,” The man directed. He pointed towards a plain, gray backdrop with a ton of lights surrounding them. There was a chair in the middle of it, but nothing else. “Congressman Jung, if you could sit in the chair. And you. Stand right next to him, but turn just a few degrees to the right and place your hand on his shoulder.”
They walked into their positions, Yoongi already feeling a little overwhelmed from it all. There were nearly a dozen lights pointed directly at him and Hoseok and even more people staring at them and waiting for something.
For the first time in Yoongi’s life, he felt insecure and awkward. Like he was inevitably going to disappoint everyone by not looking good enough or standing in the exact way that they wanted him to. It already happened with the outfits. Yoongi just knew it was going to happen again right now.
Hoseok looked over at Yoongi and placed his hand right over Yoongi’s shaking one. And Yoongi felt his mind began to slow down.
“I’ll see how quickly we can go on another adventure together,” Hoseok whispered. “Just make it through this, okay? You’ll have no problem with that, you’re perfect for this, petal.”
“Petal?”
Hoseok looked back at the camera, his face blank as he simply replied, “When I look at you, I think of lotuses.”
Pale white, round, and pink around the edges.
A flower that rises out of the mud without even a stain on its petals.
Yoongi found himself smiling at Hoseok’s nickname with that strange, warm feeling in his chest again.
Hoseok lied.
It was another three days before Yoongi saw Hoseok again.
According to the notes Hoseok wrote for Yoongi for breakfast, there was something happening with the congress that he was extremely busy with. And, him being the only sibling who was involved in the congress, he was the only sponsor who was affected.
Yoongi ended up having to go through the next three days of interviews and training with the twins as his guides. But they were very much unwilling to help him over their own champions. Most of the time, Yoongi was left to himself in a corner of the training center with his dagger and a beat up dummy.
It was a bit miserable. Yoongi found himself wishing that he was in the Principle again.
Apparently the universe was listening to Yoongi because, on the third day, Yoongi was woken up, dressed in pants for once (they weren’t sheer either they were cargo pants), and put on a bus with the other champions and their sponsors on a train back down the Principle.
It had been almost a week since Yoongi left, but everything was different now.
The moment Yoongi stepped outside, he could see the screens now put up, displaying images from the photoshoot of all of the champions and sponsors. There were a few, lower ones playing snippets from the interviews.
It was a strange thing, seeing these pristine screens displaying his and Hoseok’s face over the dirty, chaotic, violent streets. Yoongi could still see people fighting over roadkill and kids stealing from the pockets of the adults from where they stood. Yoongi felt just as disgusted by it as when he walked into the capitol building for the first time.
But, now, Yoongi knew to hold his tongue and swallow down that disgust.
Yoongi fiddled with the top of his low-waisted cargo pants, suddenly hyper aware of the fact that he was a part of the cleaned up, privileged, Inner City people now. It was clear that the stylists had never been to the Principle before either, because they had put most of the champions in airy, casual clothes.
It was cold in the Principle. Much, much colder than the Inner City. Yoongi felt like he was freezing in his loose-knit sweater and tank top.
Each champion was given a card with writing on it. Camera crews began to set up, but it was nothing like Yoongi had ever seen before. There were no wires connected to these cameras, and the people holding them were attached to them at the chest.
“We just walk around and interact with people,” Yoongi asked.
The cameraman standing next to him nodded, “Only within a certain boundary. You can only interact with the actors and you can’t go further than the Central Principle. They’ll be wearing a green wristband. You don’t have your sponsor to introduce them to, so you can just skip that part.”
“But this says that it’s supposed to show the people our relationship to the citizens of the Principle. Isn’t that a little…fake if people are pretending,” Yoongi frowned.
The cameraman shrugged, “It’s for both of our safety. We don’t want any…vagrants attacking you.”
Yoongi turned away from the cameraman and began to walk down from the park, pursing his lips to keep himself from saying anything about that comment. It was just…off. Most people in the Principle weren’t vagrants. They were people doing anything they could to survive in a system that gave them nothing.
He just knew that, if all of the champions weren’t sanitized for the Capitol’s viewing pleasure, they would be considered one of the dangerous criminals too.
Almost immediately, Yoongi broke off from the main street. As he walked by, people stopped for just a moment to stare at him. Nobody took the time of day to try to approach him. They were too busy trying to get going with their lives to want to talk to him.
Yoongi could pick out the first actor before he saw the wristband. They looked much too uncomfortable to actually be someone from the Principle.
The conversation went just as Yoongi predicted. It was a sob story about how hard their life was and how much they looked up to Yoongi as a way to get out of the Principle. However, to the credit of whoever came up with the story, it was quite well put together and realistic. Sure, there were some holes, but it was good enough to remind Yoongi of people he’d met on the streets.
Yoongi was forced to move on, his cameraman guiding him to a bar.
Well, calling it a bar was a massive compliment. It was just the one place in town that had any type of alcohol. And, sometimes, they didn’t even have any that day because their daily supply was raided or run out.
Barely anybody went inside. Which was how Yoongi immediately knew that the majority of the people inside were actors.
They all turned to look at him upon entering, their red wristbands clear but disguised at the same time. They raised their glasses to him, cheering him on and giving him congratulations as he entered.
Yoongi wasn’t quite sure where to begin.
So he sat down at the bar, right next to a young man who looked just about his age, and asked, “What’s your name?”
The man looked over at him with a slightly confused look on his face, “Me? Oh, well. I’m Namjoon. You don’t have to introduce yourself. I’ve seen you on the screens already.”
The cameraman looked at Yoongi apprehensively, but he simply stepped away to get the both of them in shot and kept filming.
“What do you think of it all, Namjoon,” Yoongi asked. “I hope I’m your favorite champion.”
“I think it’s fascinating that people from the Principle were chosen for this. It reveals some underlying bias towards the value of our lives in the eyes of the higher ups. But it’s quite addictive to watch,” Namjoon replied. He looked down at his glass, sighing as he added, “I don’t quite know yet who my favorite champion is, but I must say I enjoy seeing you and your sponsor get along so well. It gives me hope for the future.”
Yoongi glanced over to the cameraman. In all honesty, he couldn’t fully understand what Namjoon was saying. All of it was a little too academic for someone who technically never went past fifth grade.
Not to say that Yoongi didn’t try to learn more afterwards, but there was a certain level that was unachievable with all of the books in the world pretty much burned down.
“What did you do before? Were you an academic,” Yoongi asked.
Namjoon took a sip of his drink and nodded, “I was just starting out as a professor at a university. What about you?”
“Oh, you know. I was tearing up my elementary school playground,” Yoongi laughed. A glass of wine was pushed towards him by a man who was very much not the bartender that usually ran the place.
Yoongi wondered what happened to him.
Namjoon glanced at the bartender suspiciously as he chuckled, “I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything more knowing your age. Well, I have to go to back to work, but it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
He held out his hand expectantly. Yoongi grabbed his hand, a little unsure of what he was doing. But, as they shook hands, something felt right.
It was only as Namjoon left that Yoongi realized.
He didn’t have a wristband on.
Yoongi moved forward, continuing to talk and talk and talk until there was nobody left in the bar to converse with. His conversation with Namjoon lingered in his mind. He was sure most people’s thoughts on the games weren't that eloquent. But some part of what Namjoon had said had to reflect how a good portion of the people in the Principle felt.
It must have been nearly sunset when Yoongi’s cameraman declared that they had enough footage. Almost immediately, people rushed in to give Yoongi water and started clearing the actors out of the bar.
The entire bar was so chaotic that Yoongi didn’t notice the fact that someone walked up to him until their hand was on his shoulder.
“Having a drink after a long day, petal?”
He turned around to see Hoseok, looking more tired than ever but completely dressed up in a red, trench-coat suit. God, was he a sight for sore eyes. Yoongi had never been more happy to see somebody in his entire life.
“What are you doing here,” Yoongi asked. He could barely contain his grin as Hoseok sat down next to him with a soft smile on his face. “Don’t you have that law-making thing going on?”
Hoseok gently shook his head, grinning at Yoongi as he replied, “Not anymore. We just passed the first law in 10 years. I just had to come and celebrate by seeing you. It’s a sign that our government will be great and successful. You’re actually one of the first people to hear about this, so don’t spoil it for anyone else. But, starting the day after our 10th anniversary, we will officially begin sending peacekeepers out to clean up the streets.”
Yoongi felt sick as he listened to Hoseok, but he bit down on the feeling . He didn’t want to ruin Hoseok’s excitement. Especially knowing that he was never willing to be so happy when there were people around.
And…who knew. Maybe it was going to end up being a good thing. Even if cleaning up the streets meant getting rid of many of the people’s ways to live.
Cleaning up things like the roadkill and trash heaps meant that there would be children with no source of food left. Taking all of the people sleeping on the streets or wandering around at shady times of the night meant getting rid of just about everyone.
Yoongi leaned forwards with his wine glass in hand, shifting the topic away from the law itself, “So is your celebration seeing me? Or was there something you wanted to do with me to celebrate?”
“Why can’t it be both,” Hoseok asked. He placed his hand on Yoongi’s knee, his thumb rubbing Yoongi’s kneecap as he hummed, “There are quite a lot of things I wanted to do with you tonight. I don’t know what to choose.”
Yoongi gently slapped Hoseok’s arm.
“Not like that,” Hoseok said defensively. He raised both his hands up, his fingers and face relaxed as he asked, “Can you show me where you used to live? I want to have this night alone with you.”
It was surprising how quickly Hoseok could get people to leave them completely alone. Yoongi would have thought that they’d insist on an entire security force to protect Hoseok. But maybe they’d — correctly — assume that everyone would be too scared of Hoseok’s bright red jacket to try to pull anything with him.
Yoongi found it funny. Just a week ago, it was Hoseok leading him through the city, and he had been just as scared as everyone else was. Now, Yoongi was still a little bit scared of Hoseok, but he also knew just how caring and gentle and fun Hoseok could be when they were together. In just a week, an entire world of differences had been formed and what felt like months had passed.
Maybe time went slower and you warmed up to people easier when you knew you were about to die.
By the time they made it to the concrete slab, night had already fallen. The air was cold, and everything around them was dark. But Yoongi could see Hoseok’s face. So it didn’t seem to matter quite as much as it once did.
“This is where you slept every night,” Hoseok asked.
Yoongi laid down on the concrete slab, a smile coming to his face as he was reminded of home sweet home, “For the last year or so. It’s actually pretty nice sometimes. I can look up at the sky until I fall asleep.”
Hoseok looked between Yoongi and the concrete apprehensively. Yoongi could tell that he was a little freaked out by the idea of laying down on something so hard and dusty. But it only took Hoseok a minute before he took off his coat and laid it over Yoongi’s body before lying down.
They looked up at the night sky together, their bodies pressed against each other.
It took a long time for Yoongi to realize that he was the only one looking up at the blank sky. Hoseok had, instead, been staring at Yoongi the entire time with a gentle smile on his face. And Yoongi only realized it when he turned his head to ask Hoseok a question.
The moment Yoongi realized that their faces were inches away from each other, he completely forgot what he was going to say.
“Do you think it’s possible to miss someone you’ve barely known for a week,” Hoseok asked. He pulled his coat up past Yoongi’s shoulders with a quiet sigh, “I’ve missed you so much these past few days. I considered waking you up much earlier just to talk to you. But you need your sleep much more than I do.”
Yoongi found his arm moving up towards Hoseok’s neck. His hand gently wrapped around the base of Hoseok’s jaw, the warmth radiating from Hoseok’s skin making its way into Yoongi’s entire body as he smiled back, “You should’ve. I missed you too.”
Hoseok was silent for a while.
His eyes flickered down to Yoongi’s lips. The fight in his mind showed clearly on his face as he struggled to decide what he was going to do. Yoongi knew that Hoseok wanted to kiss him. But he also knew that Hoseok needed to protect himself and his reputation. And that was more important to Hoseok than anything else.
It was inevitable that Hoseok’s need would win. Even if it left a strange, aching feeling inside of both of them.
“I watched your interviews in my spare time. Read every article about you. It seems like everyone can’t help but fall in love with you,” Hoseok struggled to laugh. Something inside of him sounded hurt, but Yoongi decided not to acknowledge it.
Are you a part of everyone?
Yoongi let his body shift itself on the concrete until Hoseok’s chin was on top of his head. Hoseok’s hand found its way to Yoongi’s shoulder and, suddenly, Yoongi could feel the tiredness overtake him. As if the small feeling of warmth was putting his body in a state of relaxation.
“I really hope you survive the games. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you didn’t.”
Yoongi was out before Hoseok even said a word.
Hoseok squeezed Yoongi’s sleeping body a little closer to him, a sound somewhere half between a sigh and a laugh coming out of him as he whispered to the darkness, “I know I said you weren’t what I’m looking for, but I think I found everything I’ve ever wanted in you, petal.”
When Yoongi woke up, he wasn’t on a slab of concrete. He was in what felt like his bed. But it was much warmer than usual. In fact, Yoongi’s body felt like it was burning up.
It took Yoongi a moment to realize that there was an arm around his waist. It took him even longer to realize there was also a chest pressed against his back and someone’s face buried in his shoulder.
Yoongi jolted awake, sitting up only to find that he wasn’t in his room at all.
Everything was in shades of brown and white. The door didn’t have any machinery on it. There were bookshelves and a desk with papers upon papers stacked on it. The room itself was just a bit bigger than Yoongi’s. Everything seemed to be made out of wood. In the corner was a large dresser with some clothes hanging off of it. There were weapons mounted on the walls and a very large, beat up bag hanging on a chain from the ceiling.
“Lay down again, it was starting to get comfortable,” a low, raspy voice mumbled.
Yoongi looked down to find Hoseok right next to him, still holding onto his body. His hair was messy and his eyes were still closed. But he looked at peace. Yoongi was almost entranced enough to distract from his surprise.
Almost.
“WHAT THE FUCK,” Yoongi yelled.
Yoongi kicked Hoseok’s body away from him and scrambled out of the bed. The sheets were tangled with his limbs, preventing him from moving much further than the edge of the bed.
On the other side, Hoseok was forced to wake up by a surge of pain that may or may not have been caused by Yoongi’s rushed, panicked kick. He groaned in pain, pulling himself up to sit on the bed.
Hoseok had a t-shirt and pajama pants on. Yoongi’s eye caught the far corner of the bed, where Hoseok’s clothes from last night sat. Right next to a set of clothes that looked much too familiar. Yoongi looked down at himself, finding that he was now in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.
“What the hell, Yoongi,” Hoseok groaned.
Yoongi further backed away from Hoseok, his heart beginning to race in panic as he screamed back, “I should be the one asking that. What did you do to me? Why am I— Why are we— Did you—”
Hoseok moved towards Yoongi, grabbing his hands to pull him back to the middle of the bed as he whispered reassuringly, “Nothing happened, I promise you. You fell asleep, so I brought you back here. One of my guards changed you. And you wouldn’t let go of me, so we slept in the same bed. I swear on my father, neither of us touched each other’s dicks.”
Yoongi took a deep breath, staring down at their hands as he breathed it out in a sigh of relief, “Well, at least I know you’re not lying. You would’ve known I don’t have a dick.”
Hoseok’s brain completely froze as he tried to process what Yoongi just said. He squeezed Yoongi’s hand tighter, barely even breathing as his brain broke down. In the one long, stressful moment that was this morning, that made Yoongi laugh a little.
They sat for a moment, holding each other’s hands and sitting in Hoseok’s bed together. Yoongi looked around again with the new information that this was Hoseok’s room. It wasn’t at all what he’d imagined Hoseok’s room to look like, but it strangely suited him the more Yoongi thought about it.
“Um…do you want to lay down again,” Hoseok quietly asked.
Yoongi looked down at the dent in the mattress where his body was before. It looked warm and inviting. And the thought of being so close to Hoseok didn’t feel as bad as Yoongi expected it to.
He settled into his spot, reaching out for Hoseok’s stomach with a small pout, “I’m sorry I kicked you. Does it hurt?”
“No, I’m okay,” Hoseok winced. He smiled at Yoongi, his fingers discreetly lacing themselves with Yoongi’s over his stomach. “It doesn’t hurt at all anymore.”
“Thank you for taking me back,” Yoongi whispered.
Hoseok shook his head and closed his eyes as he replied, “Of course. I couldn’t let you sleep on that knowing that you have a nice, warm bed waiting for you back here.”
“And that bed was your bed?”
“Shut up,” Hoseok laughed. “You refused to let me drag you any further. It was quite adorable actually. You were all pouty and clingy and barely even awake. I’m not even sure you knew who you were holding on to.”
As much as Yoongi was ashamed to admit it, he probably knew exactly who it was. Yoongi wouldn’t let just anyone drag him somewhere — even when he was so tired that he couldn’t even process his surroundings. There was a part of him that was always alert. And Yoongi could recognize Hoseok’s gentle touch on his body anywhere.
They sat like that for a long time, their eyes closed and their bodies close to each other. Yoongi wasn’t sure what time it was or for how long they were there. But it was peaceful and warm. And the feeling of their fingers locked together made Yoongi’s heart skip a few beats.
Yoongi knew what the feeling was now.
He felt safe with Hoseok — with a friend who truly cared about him despite the circumstances.
“I need to go take a bath soon. I can quite literally feel all of the dirt and dust on me,” Hoseok sighed. He opened his eyes, a smile in his voice as he added, “You want to join me?”
Yoongi tried his hardest not to let his eyes fall shut again as he yawned, “Can we just stay here? I like this.”
Hoseok’s hand crept up to the back of Yoongi’s head. His fingers ran through Yoongi’s hair as he pulled Yoongi’s head in closer to him. The warm feeling inside Yoongi’s chest took over his whole body as he felt Hoseok smile against the top of his head.
“I like you a lot better when we’re alone,” Yoongi mumbled. “You’re a lot happier.”
“I’m always happy when I see you. But, when we’re alone, I’m not a representative face of an empire,” Hoseok sighed.
“But your siblings all smile and laugh and have fun. They’re not as held together as you are.”
Hoseok pressed a kiss to the top of Yoongi’s head and shook his head, “They’re not going to be the next president. It’s already been determined. Why do you think I’m the only sibling who’s actually involved with the government?”
The kiss seemed to burn against Yoongi’s skin. He could feel his face grow hot as he realized that every single place that Hoseok’s skin touched Yoongi’s burned just the same. It was strange, the feeling it gave Yoongi made him want to cry, and Yoongi never wanted them to stop at the same time.
“Can we stop talking about this. Let’s talk about something else,” Yoongi pouted.
“Hmm…how about the fact that your servants should have arrived at your room right about now and, at any moment now, an alarm in my room is going to go off and a few guards will probably come in to tell me what happened,” Hoseok hummed.
Yoongi looked around Hoseok’s room for a clock. He supposed it made sense for Hoseok to not have many clocks in his room. He was always running late for one reason or another.
Soon, a small device on Hoseok’s nightstand began to beep, flashing a little red light. Yoongi and Hoseok both turned to stare at it, but it was covered in a bunch of junk that Hoseok must have forgotten to clean up. There were some books on the table, a glass of water, some pills in a small container, a condom, and a sealed letter sitting over the red light.
The doors to Hoseok’s room opened, a male soldier calling out, “Congressman Jung, your champion has—”
Hoseok sat up, bringing Yoongi up along with him.
There were four guards standing at Hoseok’s door, all staring at the two of them with shocked but not entirely surprised faces.
“What about my champion,” Hoseok asked.
Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh into Hoseok’s shoulders as the soldiers gaped at them and tried to figure out a response. Eventually, one of them backed away, saluting to Hoseok as she closed the door.
“We apologize, sir. Enjoy your day off,” she stuttered.
The doors to Hoseok’s room shut, leaving just the two of them again.
Hoseok turned to Yoongi with a big smile on his face as he asked, “Do you want to learn what a shower is?”
“I know what a shower is, idiot,” Yoongi scoffed.
“Then do you want to take one with me,” Hoseok offered. His grip on Yoongi’s waist tightened as he moved his face down to kiss Yoongi’s neck, “Whatever you want, petal. I’ll do it.”
Something in the pit of Yoongi’s stomach lit on fire as Hoseok kised his neck, his entire body squirming as the thought of Hoseok kissing him everywhere began to fill his mind. It didn’t take long before thoughts of Hoseok doing other things to him took their place. Grabbing his body, pressing his fingers in so deep that they bruised, pulling his hair.
Yoongi let out a shaky breath, looking down at Hoseok’s arms as he stammered, “Wh— What’s happening to me? Why do I…Why am I…Are you being serious? Anything I want and you’ll do it?”
“I’m serious. Disregard what I said before. You were right, I’m no better than anyone else and I can’t deny that anymore. I’d do anything, just tell me what you want,” Hoseok confessed. He sat up, his hands finding their way down to Yoongi’s thighs. He spread them apart as he teasingly asked, “Do you want my hands a little higher? Open your mouth for me.”
Yoongi felt his entire face flush pink as he pouted, “You’re so mean. Just take me to the shower or bath or whatever you want and get your clothes off already.”
Hoseok immediately scooped Yoongi up and carried him to the bathroom with ease. He practically sprinted there with Yoongi in his arms, very clearly a little more than excited to finally get to fuck Yoongi.
He dumped Yoongi in the bathtub, not caring that his clothes were still on. Hoseok turned a knob, hot water suddenly pouring onto Yoongi and filling the tub. Yoongi’s body was burning so hot already that the water barely even felt warm to him. Especially not as Hoseok took off his shirt and pants.
Yoongi had already seen Hoseok without his shirt off, but this was a large step further than he mentally prepared himself to handle. He couldn’t tear his eyes off of Hoseok’s stomach and — much, much more importantly — his dick. It was big and rock hard already, and Yoongi couldn’t help but giggle at the thought that he caused that.
The water splashed around haphazardly as Hoseok jumped in. His bathtub was just barely big enough to fit the both of them, meaning that their bodies were completely tangled together.
“Get over here,” Hoseok ordered.
Yoongi followed suit, getting up on his hands and knees to crawl towards Hoseok. He placed his hands against the bathtub wall right against Hoseok’s head. Hoseok took Yoongi’s shirt off for him, kissing his chest as he peeled Yoongi’s wet shorts and panties off.
It was a little too gentle for a one-time hookup, but it was much too perfect. Everything in Yoongi’s head contradicted himself. He hated Hoseok, and he didn’t. He didn’t want to be used like this by another Inner City piece of shit, but he wanted Hoseok to use him until he broke. He wanted this so bad, and the thought that it was happening was agonizing.
Hoseok was going to drive Yoongi crazy.
“What do you want,” Hoseok mumbled against Yoongi’s chest. His thumb pressed against the lips of Yoongi’s cunt, just barely grazing his clit as he waited for permission.
Yoongi leaned back, biting his lip to prevent a whine from escaping him, and looked up at Hoseok, “I want you to make me feel good. I don’t care how you do it. Just keep going until we can’t anymore.”
Hoseok began to thumb at Yoongi’s clit, making him squirm on his lap as he smiled, “Can I eat you out?”
“I…Fuck. I don’t know what that is,” Yoongi panted. He gripped onto the walls of the tub as hard as he could, gasping as Hoseok’s finger ‘accidentally’ slipped inside his pussy. “I know blowjobs and handjobs and fingering.”
“Let’s make it one more thing I get to show you,” Hoseok grinned. “Get on your knees, turn around, and hang on as hard as you can to that shelf. Trust me.”
Yoongi turned around to find that there was a shelf right in front of the bath. It was filled with a bunch of different hygiene products, but Yoongi found a space to grab on to. He got up on his knees again, his chest hanging on the cold edge of the tub as he waited nervously.
The water shifted, and suddenly Hoseok’s lips were pressed against Yoongi’s wet cunt. Yoongi felt a bolt of lightning shoot up his spine as Hoseok began to kiss him down there. Hoseok’s hands grabbed hard onto Yoongi’s ass, spreading his flesh apart as his tongue began to run over his clit.
A loud, choked whine slipped out from Yoongi’s throat as Hoseok began to get into it. Yoongi could barely feel his arms, and his legs felt like they were about to collapse underneath him. All he could think about was the feeling of Hoseok’s wet tongue in between his folds.
Yoongi didn’t know that sex could feel like this. All the pleasure he’d ever felt before suddenly felt like it was nothing — mediocre even — as Hoseok ate him out. It was hard for Yoongi to even believe that this was just eating out. Hoseok was devouring him like a man who hadn’t eaten for years having his final supper.
Tears welled up in Yoongi’s eyes as the pleasure overtook his body. The shelf shook as Yoongi tried his best to keep holding on. Hoseok’s things dropped onto the ground and into the splashing water. But Yoongi could barely hear them over the sounds of his moaning and whimpering. Not even his mouth was able to stay shut. His tongue hung out like a slut, his drool all over the edge of the bathtub.
What felt like a knot formed in the pit of his stomach, and Yoongi could swear he could feel Hoseok’s tongue just as deep inside of him.
“HOSEOK, Hoseok,” Yoongi cried out.
Something inside Yoongi snapped. His entire body shook as he came, his hands finally unable to hold on for any longer. Yoongi felt something leak out of him, but his head was so clouded that he couldn’t even process it or the shame.
Hoseok caught him in the water and pulled him into his lap. Yoongi laid down on Hoseok’s chest, both of them panting hard as they tried to register what happened. Hoseok’s lips were swollen and the bottom half of his face was glistening, but he looked like the happiest man in the world.
“Fuck,” Yoongi cursed. He sat up, taking the water from the tub and splashing it all over Hoseok’s lower face, “I’m sorry. I think…I think I peed on you? I don’t know what that was.”
Hoseok grabbed Yoongi’s hands, locking their fingers together as he laughed, “That’s not what that was. You squirted. It means you had an amazing time. Which also means my mission was accomplished.”
“It was amazing,” Yoongi smiled. He laid his head down on Hoseok’s shoulder and let his body sink into the water. The adrenaline in his body suddenly died down, but he still managed enough to look over at Hoseok and ask, “Can we keep going? My turn, let me get you off.”
Before Yoongi knew it, he was under the water, gently licking the tip of Hoseok’s dick — Hoseok’s hand gripping Yoongi’s hair. He pulled Yoongi up, letting him get a quick breath of water before pushing him back down again.
Yoongi blinked the water out of his eyes before he wrapped his lips around Hoseok. He felt Hoseok push his head down, forcing Yoongi down until his cock rammed into the back of Yoongi’s throat. Yoongi choked for just a moment, coughing as he ran his tongue across the shaft of Hoseok’s dick.
Then Hoseok pulled his head up, forcing him off to make him take a breath.
It went on like that, Hoseok forcing Yoongi’s head up and down, in and out of the water as Yoongi tried to suck his dick. And every single time, Yoongi fought against getting pulled away.
Hoseok’s dick was big. It wasn’t overwhelmingly massive, but it was just big enough that Yoongi struggled to get his mouth around it. It filled his mouth, slid down his throat in the perfect, fulfilling drag. Yoongi could feel every detail — every vein.
Yoongi never thought that he’d actually enjoy doing this. But the loving rub of Hoseok’s thumb against the back of his head amidst the depravity of being waterboarded while giving a blowjob made Yoongi never want to stop.
They kept going for god knows how long. Yoongi went from never having been eaten out before to getting devoured on practically every surface in Hoseok’s room. They never kissed once. They never went further than fingering. But — even without all of that — it was perfect. Yoongi found himself happy that, at least, he got to experience this before he died.
Just two days, and all of this wouldn’t matter anymore.
Yoongi laid down in Hoseok’s bed with a smile on his face. Hoseok had given him one of his t-shirts and a pair of his boxers to cover him up again. Somewhere along the way, they’d paused to wash each other up, but that was pointless now.
Hoseok sat down, smiling back at Yoongi as he gently pressed down on one of the bruises he’d left. It wasn’t that bad in all honesty. For every bruise, there was a very long scratch down Hoseok’s back and chest.
“Hey, Hoseok,” Yoongi mumbled.
Hoseok leaned down, pressing a kiss to Yoongi’s neck, “Yes?”
“Does this have to mean something,” Yoongi asked.
Hoseok’s face fell for a moment, almost looking sad as he shook his head, “No. It doesn’t have to. Do you…”
“No,” Yoongi replied. He sat up and leaned his head against Hoseok’s shoulder, intertwining their arms as he whispered, “You’re a really good friend to me, Hoseok. Probably the best friend I’ve ever had. And I don’t want things to be weird or difficult in my last days because we did this. I don’t know to what extent you want me, but I know you do. I’m not stupid. And…I’ve enjoyed this, but I just want a friend in my last days.”
“That…hurts a little. But it’s okay,” Hoseok smiled. He held out his hand towards Yoongi, his pinky finger extended out towards Yoongi. “I’d rather we remained friends too. Anything more, and it just makes it messy when the games are all over and I’m sending you home in a coffin.”
Yoongi hooked his pink around Hoseok’s, the memory of a pinky promise coming to mind again, “At least I’ll get a coffin.”
The day of the games came too quickly.
Yoongi was torn out of bed and washed up for what was inevitably going to be the last time. He was quickly put in a plain, gray uniform. Yoongi looked like a prisoner. Seokjin took Yoongi’s dagger and slashed a few parts of the uniform, quiet as he handed the dagger back.
All of the champions were gathered for one last feast, all of them sitting at the same table while the sponsors sat with the President and the queen on a stage above them. The President gave a speech about how today was the 10th anniversary of their great empire and all of the champions were fine people and he was so proud of his children and blah blah blah.
The most important part was the revealing of how the games would actually work.
“The champions will enter the stadium in descending popularity order. This will give the champions with the highest amounts of votes the first opportunity to grab a weapon from the center. They will all go to their pods, where they will await the countdown,” the president announced. “Once the countdown hits zero, the fight begins. There will be obstacles and traps designed to stop you. But, as the live votes come in, you may gain advantages. Additionally, each one of our sponsors has a single rescue that they may use. With that, I wish you good luck, and enjoy your last meal.”
Yoongi barely had the stomach to eat. All he could do was look down at his dagger and the cameras. He studied the blade, studied the camera people's faces. They didn’t look sad. In fact, they looked more excited than ever to know which one of them was going to die.
He didn’t dare look for Hoseok.
Yoongi didn’t know why. But he was scared of what would happen if they made eye contact. Hoseok was a bit unpredictable, but Yoongi knew that Hoseok would mess everything up if he gave even an inch.
Before Yoongi was able to stomach even a bite, he and the other champions were signalled to start moving out of the building. The sponsors followed behind, most of them quickly catching up to their champions as they headed towards the cars that would take them to the stadium.
Hoseok was the first to get to his champion.
He grabbed Yoongi’s hand just as Yoongi was about to step into the car and pulled him back, letting the queen and her champion go first.
“Sorry, ma’am,” Yoongi quietly apologized.
Hoseok let go of Yoongi’s hand and took a step back, his face flushing red as he cleared his throat, “Um…I just…I wanted you to know that—”
“Hoseok,” Yoongi cut off. “Tell me when we’re not around everyone else.”
“You’re right. Sorry,” Hoseok sighed.
They walked into the car together, taking their seats towards the front. This car was much bigger than Hoseok’s. The seats were a lot softer than in Hoseok’s truck and it was a little more spacious. But Yoongi had to be honest, he liked Hoseok’s a lot better.
Being in Hoseok’s car had a feeling of freedom and happiness. This one felt like a death sentence.
The car ride was longer than the one to the lake.
Hoseok looked pained as he held Yoongi’s hand. It seemed like he desperately wanted to say something, but he was barely able to hold himself back. Yoongi still couldn’t look at him though. He simply stared at the window, where Inner City citizens were lined up and cheering for them.
Some even had signs with their names and faces on them.
“They love you,” Hoseok whispered.
Yoongi gripped the dagger in his pocket nervously, simply nodding in response.
The stadium was bigger than Yoongi could have ever imagined. It completely blocked out the sun as the car drove under it. There were what seemed like thousands of people entering in crowds through what Yoongi assumed were the main gates.
The champions and sponsors went around through a back entrance, security closing the gate almost immediately after they entered.
Yoongi and Hoseok were led out of the car by a man in a red suit. Each champion and sponsor seemed to be led in a different direction by a different person. They were ushered to a room with what seemed to be a lot of medical equipment.
Hoseok stepped aside, letting the crew examine Yoongi. On their computer was an entire chart of Yoongi’s data. Yoongi could see that he’d gained a little bit of weight in his week there — not a lot but enough that he was getting quite close to the blue line marked “healthy”. The people working on him seemed to be pleased with that.
They placed a patch on his neck, a little beep emitting from the computer as his vitals appeared on screen.
A loud, muffled cheering and the voice of the president erupted in the background.
The crew didn’t even say a word before they grabbed Yoongi and threw him out the door. Hoseok came out right after him, right as a few more soldiers came to escort them to the entrance.
Nobody else was at Yoongi’s gate.
“Everyone has an individual gate,” Hoseok whispered. He looked around, stepping closer to Yoongi.
Hoseok looked nervous, awkward even as he reached out for Yoongi. His hand grasped at nothing as if he were scared that he’d mess up by holding onto him one last time.
“Hoseok, I…” Yoongi trailed off.
He wasn’t sure what to say. All of this time getting closer to Hoseok, and he never even thought about what he was going to say to Hoseok once he left.
When Yoongi finally looked Hoseok in the eye, the catastrophe that he thought would happen didn’t come. Instead, he just remembered their time together and the happiest few days of Yoongi’s life.
Yoongi let Hoseok take his hand, a small smile on his face as he sighed, “Thank you, Hoseok. I was really happy this last week because of you. No matter what happens, I’m glad you didn’t end up training me. I’m glad we were friends.”
Hoseok smiled down at their hands, not saying a word in response.
The gate in front of them slowly opened, the harsh sunlight and the blaring screams of the crowd filling Yoongi’s ears. The ground in front of him was rock, the whirring of the gate making it fly everywhere.
Yoongi let go of Hoseok’s hand and walked towards the gate, to his deathbed.
“Wait,” Hoseok called out. His hand barely missed Yoongi’s as his fingertips slid just out of Hoseok’s reach.
Yoongi glanced back, staring at the face of the man who simultaneously ruined his life and made it worth something at the same time.
Hoseok stepped back, looking away from Yoongi as he simply said, “I hope you survive. But, honestly, I just wish I had more time with you.”
He disappeared before Yoongi could say anything back.
Yoongi pushed the thoughts of Hoseok out of his mind and ran out into the stadium. The dust stung his eyes, the sun beating down on him as he entered. Everything was so much bigger on the inside. There were so many people, there was no way that they were all from the Inner City.
There were cameras mounted everywhere. The battlefield was bigger than anybody could have imagined. And, in the center of it all, was a pile of weaponry and armor.
Yoongi took his dagger out of his pocket and turned away from the center. Instead, choosing to immediately go to his pod. The pod closed around him like a shiny glass egg, displaying information that Yoongi didn’t care to read.
The queen’s champion was already in her pod, holding a massive battle axe. The number one in popularity.
All of the other champions decided to grab something from the middle.
Ki-Duk’s voice filled the stadium as he announced, “All of the champions are in the middle, their vitals displayed on the screen. Let the celebrations…”
“BEGIN!”
The pod opened up, and Yoongi immediately ran out, making his way towards the edge of the arena.
The champion to his left remained frozen in fear in his pod. Suddenly, a spike came up out of the base. The pod encased the horrors before it could splatter, sinking into the ground as quickly as it could.
And then there were six.
Yoongi and the champion to his right both looked at each other, their horror and disgust evident on both of their faces.
Then, the ground began to rumble.
Out of nowhere, large square blocks began to fall out of the sky, cracks appearing in the floors. Yoongi ran as quickly as he could out of the shadows. He narrowly avoided a block, only to trip on a crack.
As soon as he fell, a loud squish followed quickly by a buzz rang out.
Five.
Far up past the visible eye in the President’s booth, Hoseok sat on the edge of his seat, his foot bouncing and his finger on the button as he watched Yoongi come face to face with his first champion.
Yoongi ran towards the nearest champion to him. He was seemingly unarmed, simply running for his life from the falling blocks. It looked like something had already taken out his leg.
But, the moment he noticed that Yoongi was running at him, he changed directions and started charging towards him.
Yoongi didn’t realize until a fist was connecting with his cheek that the champion was indeed armed — with a pair of brass knuckles. Yoongi fell to the floor, the audience letting out a resounding “oooh” as his blood hit the ground.
Hoseok immediately jumped, his finger hitting his rescue button without even a thought to justify it.
Yoongi jumped up the moment he hit the floor and pushed his dagger straight into his attacker’s stomach. Blood immediately began to drip from the wound. Suddenly, the ground underneath him shot up into the air, lifting him just six feet off the ground as the word “RESCUE” was shouted out.
Yoongi had to watch as his dagger fully split open the man’s body, leaving him dead on the floor.
A buzz filled the arena.
Four.
“Why the fuck did you waste your rescue for that,” Seo-jun scoffed.
“Shut up,” Hoseok hissed. “Your champion’s dead.”
The queen placed her hand on Hoseok’s shoulder, gently patting his back to calm him down, “Relax, Hoseok, Your champion is doing well.”
“I can’t relax, I—” Hoseok snapped. He looked over at the crowd, forcing himself to take in a deep breath. “I just…don’t want him to lose.”
Yoongi sat on his pillar and caught his breath. He tried to erase the image of his fellow champion’s guts splattering across the floor. But it wasn’t working. Especially not when that fellow champion was getting scooped up by his pod and carried away right underneath him.
A little packet came flying out of the sky, landing right in Yoongi’s lap. He stared at it for a moment before realizing it was filled with liquid.
“And we have our first advantage! A water packet, given to Min Yoongi!”
Yoongi tore it open. But, instead of drinking it, he used it to wash the blood off of his dagger.
The pillar lowered him down the moment he discarded the packet, forcing him to get back in the game.
Yoongi jumped over one of the widening cracks. It was easily big enough to make a human fall into it now, and they were all over the arena.
The weapons in the center were gone. Now, there was only the seal of the Regime and three other champions.
Yoongi ran towards the first one he saw. The dust was starting to get into Yoongi’s eyes, making him see double as he ran up to the champion. The moment Yoongi was close enough, he swung his dagger at them, only for their champion to press the rescue button.
The pillar hit Yoongi’s arm, causing a wave of pain. But Yoongi didn’t let himself fall victim to it. He used his arm to grab onto the edge of the rescue and pull himself up onto the pillar. They climbed up much further than before. They were nearly 20 feet off the ground when Yoongi pulled himself up and threw the champion who was rescued off of the pillar with all of his body weight.
The telltale buzz sounded out as Yoongi’s body slipped on the dusty platform. His chest flew over the edge, his body only saved from falling by the tip of his shoe.
A shocked uproar went through the crowd, replaced by the sounds of cheering as Yoongi managed to get himself back to safety.
Hoseok breathed a sigh of relief, but his fingers never stopped fidgeting with the edge of his chair.
Another buzz rang out through the arena.
And then.
There were two.
Suddenly, metal walls shot up out of the edges of the arena. They pushed in until there was just enough room for the two champions left to have space to retreat.
Yoongi looked around the kicked up dust, squinting hard to see who was left.
It was then that he saw the axe, dragging across the floor.
The queen’s champion.
They both came face to face. Yoongi with nothing but his dagger and a bleeding cheek, and the queen’s champion with a full suit of armor and an axe.
Both of them knew in an instant that this was where Yoongi died.
Nobody bothered to waste a word.
The queen’s champion immediately charged at Yoongi, swinging her axe to the side in an attempt to chop Yoongi clean in half. But Yoongi was more agile than her. He managed to duck and switch the hand his dagger was in to slide the back of her kneecap.
She howled in pain, a loud “oooh” coming from the crowd as she staggered.
It didn’t stop her though. She continued to go at Yoongi, swinging her axe again and again at him. Only, this time, she was even more furious and determined to kill him. Every single time, Yoongi just narrowly avoided death.
Hoseok stood up, leaning against the back of his seat with his eyes screwed shut so that he wouldn’t cry. His arms shook as he waited for that inevitable buzz.
Hoseok’s mother turned to Yoongi and her own champion, her eyes flickering towards her button.
Yoongi’s foot got caught in one of the cracks, sending him flying backwards.
The queen’s champion raised her ax, ready to deliver the killing blow. Yoongi let go of his dagger and closed his eyes. Hoseok’s last words replayed in his head as he waited for the inevitable.
Suddenly, a small pillar of rock shot up, hitting the queen’s champion right in the chest. It knocked her back, sending her axe flying into the wall behind her.
And Yoongi remembered what it meant to be from the Principle.
The moment he saw a chance at living, he would fight for it with everything that he had.
Yoongi scrambled up and grabbed his dagger, running at the queen’s champion with full speed. She tried to get up and run to her axe again. But her bulky armor weighed her down.
Yoongi jumped right on top of her, his knife plunging right into the back of her neck.
Everything went quiet.
The dust settled.
And then a buzz.
Everyone began cheering, screaming Yoongi’s name in unison as glitter and confetti fell from the skies. Yoongi could see in the distance his name and face flashed on the screen along with the title of “winner”.
Yoongi didn’t even realize he was bleeding from his side until the walls all cleared away and the carcass of the queen’s champion was taken away.
Two figures came down from the crowd. One slowly walked towards him while the other ran at full speed. Yoongi barely had time to wipe the dust out of his eyes before he was hit with a warm, crushing hug.
Yoongi felt a surge of pain flash through his body, but he ignored it. Because, the moment he could feel Hoseok’s arms around him, he broke down in tears.
A loud “awww” came from the audience. But even that couldn’t snap Yoongi out of his spiral.
“Hoseok, I just killed people. I just killed like…three people,” Yoongi whispered.
Hoseok squeezed Yoongi a little tighter, being careful not to squeeze Yoongi’s wound as he whispered back, “Shh…shh…it’s okay. It’s okay, petal. You’re alive. You’re alive, and in my arms and everything is okay now.”
For some reason, Yoongi didn’t feel like Hoseok’s words were entirely directed towards him. But he still closed his eyes and let himself take a deep breath. Pushing away all of the bad thoughts seemed to be so much easier when Hoseok’s arms were around him. They were like a shield, deflecting Yoongi from everything.
Suddenly, Hoseok stepped away from him and grabbed his hand. He pulled Yoongi away from the center, breaking out into a run towards one of the gates. The crowd let out a general noise of confusion as Hoseok ran away with Yoongi.
Yoongi clutched his side as he tried to keep up with Hoseok, blood still spilling from him as they ran. Just behind them, he could hear the President start to address the crowd.
“Because of…um…the injuries on our champion, we will have to tend to his wounds before we can do the ending ceremony.”
His voice faded as they turned into a hallway from the gate. There was not a soul in there except for them. Every last one of them was presumably watching the President speak at the moment.
Yoongi felt his shoulders press against the cold, metal wall. And then, he felt a pair of lips press against his. Something wet hit Yoongi’s cheek, a salty taste filling Yoongi’s mouth. Yoongi was so shocked at first that he didn’t realize what was happening.
And then it hit him.
Jung Hoseok was kissing him.
And Jung Hoseok was crying.
Before Yoongi could even think of what to do, Hoseok pulled away. He stepped back with tears in his eyes but the biggest smile on his face as he panted, “I’m sorry. I know you want us to be just friends but I…I…”
“It’s okay,” Yoongi mumbled. He looked down at the ground, noticing that the blood was dripping a little less than before. “You’re happy that I’m alive. I get it.”
“Yeah,” Hoseok replied, his voice a little breathless.
God, it was so hard for Yoongi to feel conflicted about the kiss when Hoseok was looking at him like that. He looked like the happiest man in the world. Like everything he ever wanted was right in front of him, and he had it in his arms.
“Is it crazy to say that, in a week, my entire world became about you,” Hoseok asked. He pulled Yoongi closer to him, not even stopping when Yoongi’s blood began to stain his white dress shirt. “I hate myself so much for not saying more to you before. I spent that entire battle thinking that there would be some things that I desperately wanted to tell you that you’d never hear.”
Yoongi pressed a finger to Hoseok’s lips, the tip of Yoongi’s dagger just barely grazing the tip of Hoseok’s nose, “Hoseok. What I said before doesn’t change now that I’ve survived. I like being your friend. I like the security of knowing you’re here for me. I don’t want a single thing more than that. No sex. No kissing. Nothing more.”
Hoseok let out a quiet sigh. He took Yoongi’s hand, opening the palm to reveal the handle of the dagger, “I understand. I guess…I just wanted no more worrying about what we were. I’m not your sponsor anymore. There’s no excuse for me to sneak away or take a day off to see you. You’ll be living in an apartment somewhere. You’ll make other friends. You’ll discover even more things with them. And I want you to do all those things. But…I don’t want to become unimportant to you.”
“Oh, Hoseok. You’ll always be important to me. Even if I go do things with other people, you’ll always be the person who taught me the names of every little plant, who I had my first drink with, who I swam for the first time with,” Yoongi smiled. He let Hoseok take the dagger, allowing him to gently cup Hoseok’s jaw. “I can stay right next to you, can’t I? And you can come see me just because you want to. No excuses. Does it really have to be so complicated?”
Hoseok placed his hand right over Yoongi’s, their fingers lacing together as he smiled back, “No. No it doesn’t.”
“Good. Now can we please go bandage this up? It hurts a lot,” Yoongi winced.
Hoseok immediately bent down and picked Yoongi up by the knees. He let Yoongi sit on his shoulder, not minding Yoongi’s blood dripping on his hair as they searched for the nearest infirmary.
What a surprise, there weren't many in the stadium of a game meant for all but one competitor to die.
“This doesn’t mean I won’t tell you those things eventually. I’m not brave enough to tell you now,” Hoseok admitted. He looked up at Yoongi, smiling at him as he sighed, “Even in the face of your death, I couldn’t find the courage in me. Maybe it’ll get easier with time. I’m sure that, one day, I’ll be strong enough to not care if you’d say the same thing back.”
Yoongi looked down at Hoseok, his friend, and smiled back, “I want to know, so you’d better. I believe in you, Hoseok.”
They sat in the infirmary together for a long time, holding each other’s hands and taking a long moment of rest. Yoongi laid down on the patient’s bed, resting now that he was all bandaged up. Hoseok on the other hand was sitting on a stool beside Yoongi, checking his vitals on the computer worriedly.
The kiss still lingered on Yoongi’s mind. Yoongi didn’t even know where to begin sorting his feelings out. So he didn’t. He let himself bury it deep in a box where it couldn’t hurt him and shifted his mind to how Hoseok made him feel.
Yoongi pulled on Hoseok’s hand. The entire stool began to roll towards Yoongi, making him giggle as he asked, “Hoseok? Can I keep staying in the room next to you?”
Hoseok squeezed his hand with glee as he nodded, “As long as you come to sleep over in mine sometimes.”
“Deal.”
Life was strange now that Yoongi wasn’t a champion anymore.
Well…he was still a “champion”. That was what they’d decided to call the winner of the games. But everything was different and exactly how it was before at the same time.
Yoongi was still in the room next to Hoseok’s. Only now, he was able to come and go as he pleased and break things without an alarm. He was even able to be in Hoseok’s room without any soldiers supervising him. Yoongi didn’t have to play his role anymore, but he still had to film a lot. Some of which included more photoshoots and interviews post-games and others something much closer to…acting.
If you could call pretending to be turned on while somebody kissed your body and reading sentences off of a really large card acting.
Yoongi wasn’t entirely sure what that was all about. He knew that he was what was called a “celebrity” now, and that people wanted desperately to know about his life. But he didn’t know how the “reality show” that had nothing to do with his real life was supposed to inform people about it.
What Yoongi did know was that, every night the special aired, Hoseok came into his room pretending like he was just going to eat dinner with him. It always ended in Hoseok staying the night, holding Yoongi as tight as he could as they slept.
The biggest difference now was probably that he and Hoseok hadn’t taken off on an adventure somewhere in the weeks since the games. Hoseok was always busy and, when he wasn’t, Yoongi was always pulled away to film something else. Yoongi just didn’t get why they wanted so much out of him so soon afterwards.
Nowadays, it was just nights like these that they had.
Yoongi was curled up with Hoseok in bed, a book in his hands as they read together. Before, Yoongi hated trying to read. Trying to figure out what Hoseok’s books were saying made him feel stupid and frustrated to the point where he didn’t want to pick up another book ever again.
But then, Hoseok gave him a book and convinced him to give books just one more try. As it turned out, Hoseok made a call to get some of the books meant for schools in the Inner City delivered to the Capitol building.
A little over a week later, when Yoongi realized that he could finally read one of Hoseok’s books, he was so happy that he wanted to kiss Hoseok.
Now, Yoongi’s face burned at the recollection of that memory. He truly didn’t know what he was thinking then. Hoseok had just done something extraordinarily sweet for him again, and Yoongi started to realize that the rest of their lives together would be like this.
Together…
“What’re you thinking about,” Hoseok asked quietly. He flipped the pages back until they were back at the point where Yoongi had stopped paying attention to the words and started focusing on Hoseok’s hot breath against his cheek.
Yoongi buried his face in the nape of Hoseok’s neck and hummed, “Just about how much I have to do tomorrow.”
Hoseok closed the book, folding the corner in to mark where they’d left off. He placed it on his cluttered night stand. It was bad before, but it only got worse now that Yoongi spent half his nights in Hoseok’s room. It seemed like every single thing that Yoongi touched, Hoseok felt should go on his nightstand.
“I’m sure you’ll have some time off soon. You’re overdue for it,” Hoseok smiled reassuringly. He took Yoongi’s hand, their fingers lacing together the way they always seemed to unconsciously do. “When you do, I’ll be ready. I planned another adventure for us.”
Yoongi closed his eyes, letting the comfort overtake him as he replied, “I think you should use your congressman powers to free me. Take me back to the Principle.”
Hoseok's smile faded. It always did whenever Yoongi mentioned his old home. But he never expressed any disdain towards Yoongi’s homesickness. He just seemed…sad to be reminded that Yoongi didn’t really belong here in the Capitol.
“I’ll see what I can do about getting you another trip down there,” Hoseok hummed. “Are you going to stay here tonight?”
Hoseok didn’t wait for Yoongi to answer. He simply turned off the light on his nightstand and wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s waist, holding Yoongi tight to his body.
Yoongi didn’t fall asleep for a while.
It was hard to go to bed the last few weeks. Every night, Yoongi was kept up for hours, thinking about everything that happened in the games. The images of his fellow champion’s bodies, mutilated on the floor because of him…Yoongi didn’t know any of them — he didn’t even know their names — but he felt each of their souls weighing on him.
And of course he couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Hoseok didn’t understand. All he’d say was “you had to do what you had to do” or “well, at least you’re alive”. Seokjin wouldn’t either. He saw the games as meaningless entertainment. And Yoongi didn’t know anyone else in the city.
Yoongi always managed to get to bed. It was inevitable that, after the long days he had, he would crash eventually. But it didn’t hurt to have Hoseok holding him so close.
As always, Yoongi’s body powered itself down and sank into the plunging depths of his dreams.
Yoongi never used to remember his dreams. The moment he woke up, they were all vague and far away — as if there was a veil over the vision.
That wasn’t the case anymore.
Now, Yoongi’s dreams were vivid and intense. He could feel every pop of color and every touch and sound and whisper as if it were in front of his eyes. Sometimes, he couldn’t recall what happened. But he could recall images.
When Yoongi fell asleep last night, he started seeing things. There was a child in Yoongi’s dream. One that looked vaguely like him but also nowhere near him at the same time. It was much shorter and cubbier. And dressed in a pair of blue overalls with something in the pocket. The child sat in Yoongi’s room, just sitting there and crying as he looked up at Yoongi. It wasn’t interested in anything else but Yoongi.
Yoongi was woken up by a sudden drop in temperature before he could get the child to do anything other than cry. He opened his eyes, turning around to find that Hoseok had sat up.
“Did I wake you,” Hoseok asked.
Yoongi turned to face Hoseok, squinting his eyes against the sunlight falling against the edges of Hoseok’s figure, “Yeah. But don’t feel bad. I was having a weird dream.”
Hoseok took a sip from the glass of water by his bed and swallowed a pill. Yoongi learned just recently that it was something that helped Hoseok not be a nervous trainwreck. How Hoseok had it, or who gave it to him, Yoongi didn’t know. But he was starting to think that he would benefit from it.
“Tell me about it, I want to hear,” Hoseok hummed.
He laid back down in the dent his body left on the bed and pulled Yoongi closer. He was careful not to twist Yoongi’s right side too much. Even after the wound had closed, Hoseok was absolutely paranoid about reopening it or bothering it.
“I was just sitting with a kid the whole time,” Yoongi shrugged. “It wasn’t bad, but it was strange at the same time? It just sat there, crying.”
Hoseok laid there for a moment before he chuckled, “Maybe it’s you.”
“Maybe,” Yoongi sighed.
They laid together in silence until the heat drained from every last thread in Hoseok’s blanket. It took Yoongi that exact amount of time to realize how brightly the sun was shining for what was supposed to be early in the morning.
“What time is it?”
Hoseok glanced over at his clock.
“Quarter to ten.”
“Fuck. I have to get up,” Yoongi cursed. He sat up, climbing over Hoseok’s legs to get to the bathroom.
Hoseok’s arm wrapped around Yoongi’s waist and pulled him back. Yoongi fell back onto Hoseok’s legs, wincing as Hoseok’s knee hit his ribs just above his still-tender cut. Honestly, he was right to be cautious. Yoongi had just gotten the stitches out a week ago and it never got a chance to rest — especially with all of the filming.
The scar on Yoongi’s side got more makeup than bandaging on it.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry. Here. Sit back,” Hoseok said. He helped Yoongi sit back against the headboard and made sure he got comfortable again. “I didn’t mean to do that. I was just trying to get you to sit down so that I could give you the good news.”
Yoongi cocked an eyebrow at Hoseok, but the realization hit before Hoseok even had to say anything.
“No you did not.”
Hoseok smiled down at him with a nod, “I pulled some strings before you woke up this morning. Your schedule’s cleared for the day. So we can go somewhere together. I was actually thinking we do…more of an activity.”
“What do you have planned,” Yoongi smiled back. He looked up at Hoseok, batting his eyelashes at him teasingly.
He could see Hoseok getting flustered, but he didn’t give an inch. He rolled out of the bed and turned away from Yoongi as he shrugged, “What do I have planned? I don’t know. Should you get dressed in something really cute? Maybe. Is tonight going to end with us having a picnic in the park together? Potentially.”
“Oh, well, I’d better get going,” Yoongi smiled. “See you in a bit.”
Yoongi nearly ran to his room, his heart pounding with excitement for another adventure with Hoseok.
The servants that usually waited on Yoongi weren’t anywhere to be found — they usually weren’t if Yoongi was late.
It wasn’t hard to function without them. Yoongi was beginning to get acclimated to living in the Inner City, but a month versus a decade was a long time. No amount of pampering could make Yoongi lose his way of life from the Principle. Hoseok found it heartbreaking, but sometimes Yoongi still got surprised when dinner was brought to him.
Yoongi’s closet after the games was no longer stocked with skimpy dresses. He still had them of course, but anything skimpy he wore for television appearances were brought to him day to day. Now, his wardrobe was replaced with more of the low waisted jeans and tiny tops and sweaters.
Yoongi threw on a pair of gray cargos and a tiny t-shirt that was almost skintight on him. It didn’t really matter how well he styled it. He was pretty sure that his team designed his wardrobe with the specific function of never being able to be combined incorrectly.
But, more importantly, Hoseok would always find it cute. No matter what.
Hoseok walked into Yoongi’s room, the usual, loud click of the machine lock gone. Now, it was replaced with the gentle turning of the knob.
Yoongi turned around, laughing at Hoseok as he finished buckling his pants. Hoseok was wearing a t-shirt and baggy jeans in the exact same but opposite colors as Yoongi, his silver dog tag chain hanging from his neck, and a bright red apron as he quickly approached.
“Why are you laughing at me,” Hoseok grinned. He placed his hands in the pocket of his apron, pulling out a large mass of fabric. “You have one too.”
Hoseok handed Yoongi the bundle of fabric. It was much duller than Hoseok’s, but Yoongi recognized it immediately.
It was the apron that he’d worn for god knows how long. The one he first met Hoseok in. The one he stepped on the train with. And it wasn’t the replicated version either. Yoongi could see from the wear and tear marks that this one really was his. It was just a little cleaned up.
Before Yoongi knew it, he felt tears well up inside of him. They streamed down his cheeks as he held the familiar fabric. Just looking at it reminded Yoongi of where he’d come from — the streets he once walked, the cold winter nights where it was his only source of warmth, the pieces of food snuck into the pockets.
“I’m glad you like it. It took me a while to figure out where it was,” Hoseok whispered. He wiped the tears from Yoongi’s cheek, staring at him with a small hint of a smile but a clear fondness in his eyes. “Do you know what we’re doing now?”
“Cooking,” Yoongi guessed.
Hoseok patted Yoongi on the shoulder and nodded, “I figured, since you like Korean food so much, I could show you how to make some of my mom’s recipes from before she was the queen. And, since you don’t remember your family’s food or how to cook, I thought that this could count as one of our adventures too.”
Yoongi grabbed Hoseok’s hand and let him lead the way out. He wiped the rest of the tears from his eyes — the bout of homesickness leaving his body just as quickly as it came. Hoseok never failed to make Yoongi’s heart flip like the pages in their books.
“Tell me more about it,” Yoongi hummed.
They passed by a few soldiers that were off duty. Most people were off today, so there were lots and lots of people roaming the halls. That meant that Hoseok started to close off again. But he didn’t let himself completely shut down. He still held Yoongi’s hand and let his shoulders relax.
That hint of a smile was still there as Hoseok replied, “Well, we’re going to make food together and I’m going to show you our family recipes. And then we’ll pack up all the food we made and have dinner in the park with it. Oh, and of course a little lunch while we’re in the kitchen.”
“You know, I didn’t take you for the type who’d like to cook,” Yoongi hummed.
“I love it. I have a plan for when I’m old and retired to move to a nice home by that lake and spend my days trying out recipes and cooking and caring for my partner. Whoever that’s going to be,” Hoseok sighed wistfully.
At that last sentence, Yoongi could have sworn that Hoseok looked right at him. But it was so quick that Yoongi couldn’t be sure that Hoseok even turned his head.
Even so, he couldn’t shake the thought of him and Hoseok living by the lakeside together. For the first time, Yoongi could envision a future that was further away than the next day. He could practically see himself at a table, eating Hoseok’s food with his best friend in the entire world right there beside him.
Yoongi smiled to himself at the idea that they could be friends for that long. It made that warm feeling in his chest appear again. Along with what felt like Yoongi’s heart forgetting to beat for a few seconds.
They entered the kitchen together. It was very bright white inside, and there were a lot of massive sinks and stoves and silvery countertops. There was nobody inside of it and no sign of life left anywhere in the entire space. It was as if everyone had cleared out the moment they heard Hoseok was coming.
“I’m so excited, Yoongi. You don’t understand. I’m going to teach you how to make kimchi first,” Hoseok smiled.
Step one was to wash their hands and get all of their ingredients and tools out. Hoseok directed Yoongi to the cabbage that was already chopped and salted. They took it out and set it in the sink. On the counter, Hoseok had him take out an onion, a radish, some shrimp paste, a pear, a lot of gochugaru, a lot of garlic, ginger, sugar, and fish sauce.
They hadn’t even started making it and Yoongi was already tired. But Hoseok looked more excited than ever to share this recipe and get in the kitchen. So Yoongi mustered up all of his energy and put a bright smile on his face, ignoring the fact that this was already ten times the amount of work he’d ever done to prepare food before. Even on the rare occasions Yoongi could find meat, the most he’d do was place it on a hot surface to cook.
Yoongi held his gloved hands up, the bright red, rubber gloves almost went up to his elbows. He made a grabbing motion at Hoseok, laughing as he watched the bulky fingers open and close.
Hoseok gave Yoongi a high five, quickly closing his hand down to lace his fingers with Yoongi’s as he smiled, “You ready to get that apron dirty?”
“A hundred percent,” Yoongi replied. Hoseok reached over to the knife rack and pulled out a short but big one.
Yoongi winced as Hoseok held it out to him. But Hoseok didn’t really acknowledge it. He just tightened his grip on Yoongi’s hand and let him take the knife, “We’re going to make a lot. So, first things first, let’s cut up the veggies.”
Hoseok set a board down on the counter, stepping behind Yoongi and taking Yoongi’s hands in his again. Hoseok guided Yoongi’s hands through cutting the first piece of cabbage into bite sized bits. It took Yoongi a few minutes to learn how to hold the knife properly and where to put his hand. But, once he got it, he hit the ground running.
Soon, they were chopping up the rest of them together. They chopped up the onion, which — to Yoongi’s surprise — began to make both of them cry, they sliced the radish, quartered the pear, and minced the garlic.
Once Yoongi got into a groove, he found that he could talk to Hoseok while cutting things. Joking around and laughing and talking about the books they were reading together was easier than focusing on the knife. If Yoongi looked too hard, he could see the reflections of each and every last body he left in the stadium that day.
Hoseok showed Yoongi what a blender was. It was magical, really. They put the pear, radishes, shrimp paste, and onions in the cup whole. Yet, somehow, they came out in a chunky liquid form. Yoongi’s mind immediately jumped to think of all of the things they could blend.
They added a whole lot of the gochugaru into the chunky liquid, mixing it into the paste as well as they could according to Hoseok’s instructions. The paste turned from a beige-y gray color to a bright red one, and it smelled absolutely amazing.
Hoseok swiped just a little bit of the sauce with his finger, holding it up to Yoongi’s mouth, “Taste it. My mother always let all of us get a taste of the sauce before she mixes it in.”
Yoongi wrapped his lips around Hoseok’s finger, the flavor of the paste immediately filling his mouth. The copious amount of chili powder made his eyes water and his mouth tingle. But Yoongi was never not amazed at the food in the Inner City. Yoongi wasn’t sure he’d ever experienced the same flavor twice, and it was heavenly each and every time.
Hoseok seemed satisfied by Yoongi’s reaction. He had Yoongi transfer the paste into the large bowl that the chopped up cabbage was in. Before they mixed it all together, they added in the porridge, a lot of the garlic, ginger, sugar, and fish sauce.
When Yoongi wasn’t looking, Hoseok snuck in another handful of the gochugaru.
Nearly an hour flew by of them just sitting on the ground, getting their hands dirty, and massaging the kimchi to get all of the sauce in and mixed up. The whole process was very tiring on Yoongi’s arms, but he wasn’t bored at all. In fact, he could barely feel the time slipping away.
Yoongi and Hoseok talked the entire time. Their conversation wasn’t about anything in particular. It was just about life really. But Yoongi didn’t think he’d ever enjoy learning about somebody’s first time making kimchi with their mom so much.
It seemed like Hoseok enjoyed it too. When Yoongi was talking, it was like there was nothing else in the world but his voice. Hoseok stared intently as Yoongi exchanged a story about a group who wanted to restore the recipe books from just their memories alone that he spent a day with a few years back.
Hoseok showed Yoongi how to pack all of the kimchi up. But, before they closed the lids on their little buckets, Hoseok snuck two pieces out of his box with a mischievous smile.
“My mom never let us taste the fresh pieces. So don’t tell anyone,” Hoseok grinned. Yoongi opened his mouth to let Hoseok feed him the piece. They bit down at the same time, the cabbage audibly crunching underneath their teeth.
“I like it,” Yoongi smiled back.
“The kimchi? It’s always really good.”
Yoongi licked the rest of the sauce off of his gloves and shook his head, “No. That we have something different. Cooking together and eating all of the food as we make it can be an us thing. That’s how I’d do it anyways.”
“You’d do it that way because the moment you see food in front of you, you have to eat all of it,” Hoseok rolled his eyes teasingly. He took off his gloves, discarding them to the side so that he could grab onto the loops of Yoongi’s pants and pull him in closer. “But I’ll gladly throw my mom’s kitchen rules away. It’s more fun like this.”
Yoongi wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s shoulders, being careful not to get his gloved hands on Hoseok’s shirt. Before he could even say anything, a weird, tense feeling filled the air. It was like there were people pulling on either end of the kitchen. Everything seemed to warp around the two of them as Hoseok’s eyes flickered down to Yoongi’s lips. Only, this time, Yoongi couldn’t help but look at Hoseok’s too.
“Can I kiss you,” Hoseok breathed out.
An observation about being the Inner City; everybody had an ulterior motive beyond just surviving the next day. And those reasons were convoluted and confusing. But, most importantly, people only asked you for things they really wanted. The hierarchy — the pecking order — also made so many people above Yoongi.
Yoongi couldn’t see how he could safely say no to people without costing his survival.
Especially when it came to Hoseok. He could put his foot halfway down after the fact. But all of Yoongi’s issues with the convolutedness and the power structure condensed into one person.
Hoseok.
The person whose feelings towards Yoongi were entirely unexplainable. It made him so irrational sometimes, it made him constantly want to be close to Yoongi, and at the same time it made it so that he couldn’t be too close without sacrificing his reputation. But it also made him smile and laugh when they were alone and get excited to spend time with Yoongi.
“Okay,” Yoongi murmured before he even knew what he was doing. He tried to hide the fact that he sounded unsure of himself, but Yoongi wasn’t sure that it was working.
What even was kissing? Yoongi had kissed before, of course. He’d kissed people long before Hoseok. But it seemed so…pointless. It was just something that felt good that people did during sex to feel some sense of passion. Doing it outside of that was an entirely foreign concept to Yoongi.
Hoseok’s lips were warm against his own. It was as if Yoongi were drinking lava the way Hoseok’s kiss burned through his system. Everything melted away for a moment as Yoongi’s heart began to race. There was a strange feeling that went along with it. But Yoongi couldn’t place it any other way than by saying it felt like a little spark inside of him lighting up for the first time.
Yoongi couldn’t lie. It was confusing and nerve wracking, but there was a sweet sort of comfort in it.
He was silent even as the kiss ended. Hoseok must have asked him something, because Yoongi could see him expectantly waiting for an answer. But everything seemed to be fuzzy around the edges. All Yoongi could do was stare at Hoseok and wait for his senses to return to his body.
Yoongi still wasn’t sure if he wanted this entire…thing. Kissing Hoseok was so nice. But Yoongi didn’t want any of the things that came with it. He wanted them to be friends. He didn’t want Hoseok to see him as a prize that would eventually come with enough persuasion.
Yoongi broke away from Hoseok’s arms, sitting down on one of the metal stools in the kitchen as he tried to sort out his emotions.
“I’m sorry. I just…I…”
Hoseok looked a little crestfallen at Yoongi’s reaction to their kiss, but he bit it down and placed his hands on Yoongi’s shoulder to comfort him.
“Don’t be sorry. I get it,” Hoseok reassured. “Sometimes we say things we don’t mean or we regret it later. Do you need anything? Something to calm you down? I can make some tea.”
Yoongi shook his head, looking up at Hoseok as he replied, “Let’s just keep cooking like before.”
They continued for hours and hours, making all sorts of Korean dishes. Their kiss seemed to be like a lingering ghost in the corner of the room. But neither of them acknowledged it again. They simply cooked in an awkward flow of conversation together for the rest of their time there.
Yoongi had to admit, deep down, he hoped Hoseok would kiss him again. Just so that he could feel that odd feeling again.
One kiss was all it took to mess up Yoongi’s nights even worse than before.
Starting from that moment, Yoongi’s mind ran laps around itself trying to make sense of how he felt, how Hoseok felt, and what it all was supposed to mean. But Yoongi couldn’t figure out an answer to any one of those questions.
Yoongi looked to Hoseok’s books for guidance, he looked to the Capitol’s television, he paid attention to how it felt when the actor kissed him. But most of Hoseok’s books were political novels or complicated pieces of literature that Yoongi could really understand. The television broadcasts that the Capitol put out were mostly alerting people of things that were happening. And kissing the actor didn’t make Yoongi feel even half of what he felt when he and Hoseok were just hanging out together.
None of it made sense. Hoseok’s behavior towards Yoongi made no sense, and the way Yoongi felt about Hoseok deep down inside wasn’t any way for a friend to feel about their friend. Maybe it was okay to want to spend the rest of their lives together like this, but no good friend would want their friend to kiss their entire body and fuck them until the bed broke.
Yoongi felt awful. He and Hoseok had been a little distant ever since they kissed. It wasn’t terrible. On the surface, nothing seemed wrong. But Yoongi could feel the awkwardness between them. And it felt like it was all his fault. He was the one who couldn’t figure his shit out before letting Hoseok kiss him after all.
He was the one who didn’t know what it all was supposed to mean.
So now, Yoongi was lying in bed, much too awake for the hour. He was fairly sure he was one of the people still up.
Hoseok had a dinner event to go to. And Yoongi felt weird about being in Hoseok’s bed now — especially if Hoseok wasn’t there. So he just stayed in his room, alone with nothing but an echo chamber for his thoughts to bounce off of.
Was Hoseok even back in his room yet? Was Hoseok thinking about Yoongi as much as Yoongi was thinking about him? Did Hoseok also wish he’d just skipped the event to stay in and have dinner with Yoongi? If he did, he would be laughing. Because, for the first time, Yoongi’s food sat untouched on the tray.
There was a small pile of their kimchi on it. Just the sight of it made Yoongi want to scream at himself.
It was about 2 am when Yoongi decided to get out of his misery.
He slipped out of bed and walked right out of his room. But Yoongi couldn’t find it in himself to open Hoseok’s door. A guard watched from the end of the hallway as Yoongi paced back and forth, fighting with himself to just suck it up and go in.
Just as Yoongi was about to reach for the handle, the door opened. But it wasn’t Hoseok who came out of it. It was a woman, right around their age with bright red hair. She was breathtaking, and her clothes screamed elegance and power. Yoongi had no idea who she was, but he immediately felt resentful.
Yoongi was hit with a sense of insecurity, but it was stronger than anything he’d felt before. His mind immediately began comparing her with him. Only there was nothing that Yoongi had that she didn’t exude tenfold. Yoongi would have decided that he had Hoseok at least. But that didn’t seem to be true anymore. Because what else could someone like her be doing in Hoseok’s room at 2 am?
She didn’t even say anything as she walked away. With the way Yoongi was dressed, she probably thought he was just a servant. He was from the Principle after all. And the people who had more could tell the lesser from a mile away.
The moment that she turned the corner, Yoongi felt a tear slip down his cheek.
Barely five seconds had passed before he found himself silently sobbing in front of Hoseok’s door. It was so embarrassing to be outside like this. But Yoongi couldn’t help it. All he could feel was the feeling of being inadequate. Replaceable. Overdramatic.
Why did a random woman coming out of Hoseok’s room have to hurt Yoongi so much? Why did the idea of Hoseok laying in that stupid bed have to make Yoongi want to curl into a ball and sink into the ground?
Suddenly, Hoseok appeared in the doorway. He wasn’t looking out — he probably didn’t even notice that there was someone outside. But, just as he was about to close the door, he happened to glance back. Hoseok’s eyes just barely caught the sight of Yoongi’s face before he stopped.
Hoseok opened the door, revealing his entire body. He was in just a t-shirt and pajama pants — an entirely new change of clothes from when they’d said goodbye to each other.
Just the indirect confirmation of what the deepest part of Yoongi’s heart had been praying was not true was the tipping point.
Yoongi wiped the tears from his eyes and walked back towards his room. Only for Hoseok to burst out of his doorway and grab onto Yoongi’s arm. Yoongi wished he could say he tried to resist. But the piece of his heart that just wanted to find comfort in Hoseok was much stronger than his pride.
“What’s wrong, Yoongi? Did someone hurt you,” Hoseok asked worriedly. He grabbed Yoongi’s face, looking all over Yoongi in a messy attempt to make sure everything was okay. “Why are you crying, petal? Why didn’t you come in?”
A part of Yoongi wanted to just tell Hoseok the truth. But Yoongi knew that admitting the truth would only make Hoseok start comparing him and that woman in his mind. He didn’t want to fall lower than it seemed he already had on Hoseok’s priorities. And he didn’t want to admit to Hoseok that he cared so much about what his friend did with other people at 2 am in the night.
Hoseok pulled a now violently sobbing Yoongi into his room. He closed his door, pressing Yoongi against it as he quietly admitted, “I know I messed us up when I kissed you, but you know you can still come to me for anything, right? You can still tell me anything. So please, tell me what’s wrong.”
Yoongi could barely see Hoseok’s face through his tears, and it was terrifying. He was in his most vulnerable state and he couldn’t see what Hoseok thought of him anymore.
He barely managed to shake his head against the door. But Hoseok’s hands were still on his face. Hoseok felt the tiny tremor of Yoongi shaking his head no. Almost immediately, Hoseok’s hands left Yoongi.
Yoongi’s heart stopped as he felt the cold air hit his skin. The only thought in his head was that Hoseok had finally abandoned him. Given up once and for all.
Suddenly, Hoseok’s arms wrapped around Yoongi in a crushing hug. Yoongi’s face was pressed into Hoseok’s chest as Hoseok buried his face into the top of Yoongi’s head. His voice shook as he whispered, “Please, Yoongi. I fucked up. But you’re my whole world, and I can’t stand seeing you hurt and not knowing how to help.”
Yoongi let himself melt into Hoseok’s arms, his breaths shaky but his heart racing as he breathed out, “I’m your whole world?”
Hoseok was silent for a moment before he squeezed Yoongi a little bit tighter and nodded, “From the moment we got on that train, my entire life revolved around you. The lotus flower I found in the mud.”
Does Hoseok have a nickname for that woman, too?
Did he say all of this to her before?
“I just wanted to be with you tonight. I’m really scared of losing you,” Yoongi murmured.
Maybe it wasn’t the full truth. But it was the core of what Yoongi felt, and that’s all Hoseok wanted to know.
Hoseok rubbed his thumb across Yoongi’s back, a small sigh escaping his mouth as he replied, “You’re not going to lose me. I promise you, Yoongi. And…I missed you too. Dinner parties are so boring when I don’t have my petal with me.”
Yoongi couldn’t help but smile.
“Your petal?”
Maybe Yoongi was imagining it, but Hoseok almost sounded embarrassed as he waved it off, “You know what I mean. Because you were my champion.”
“I know,” Yoongi replied. He wiped away the last of his tears, resting his head against Hoseok’s chest to calm himself down. Yoongi’s heart raced even faster than before as he looked up at Hoseok and admitted, “I just like the sound of it. Makes me feel special.”
“You are special. Now come to bed and go to sleep with me. I’ll ask my brother if he can give you some time off soon,” Hoseok smiled.
He let go of Yoongi and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the bed. But, this time, Yoongi found it in himself to stand his ground. He let go of Hoseok’s hands and stared at the floor.
Yoongi couldn’t find it in himself to meet Hoseok’s eyes as he asked, “Who was that woman?”
“What?”
“You’re saying all this stuff about how you missed me and I mean the world to you and I should’ve just come in and I’m yours. But I was standing out there when she left,” Yoongi sniffled. He felt the tears well up in his eyes again.
It felt cathartic to get the feeling off of his chest. But, once the words began to pour, they wouldn’t stop.
“So what? You’ve been trying to hook up with me again this entire time, trying to seduce me by kissing me and warming me up by telling me that I’m something special and getting me close enough that I’ll finally give in again,” Yoongi rambled. His voice got shakier and more unintelligible with each word, tears pouring down his cheeks again as he finally put it all together in something tangible. “And then, the first opportunity that you get, you hook up with some woman who we both know I could never measure up to. It’s confusing, Hoseok, and it hurts more than anything to realize that my friend just wanted to fuck me the entire time.”
Hoseok stood there, completely shocked. He tried to reach out to grab Yoongi’s hands. But, this time, Yoongi backed away completely. Yoongi couldn’t stand the thought of Hoseok touching him now. Not now that he was thinking about how Hoseok probably touched that woman.
“Yoongi, that’s not…” Hoseok trailed off. He was silent for a moment before he tried again, “I wasn’t doing all of that to get you to fuck me. It’s not just some empty words. I genuinely can’t get you out of my mind. Nothing even happened with Hwa-young because I felt so guilty about the fact that it wasn’t you. The only person I want to spend a night with is you. But it’s not why I do everything I do.”
“Then why,” Yoongi blurted out.
It came out as more of a scream than anything.
Hoseok’s confidence visibly crumbled. He backed away into the corner of his bed, his fingers fidgeting with the silver dog tag around his neck as he replied, “I’m…not sure I’m brave enough to tell you that yet. I thought I was. But then I kissed you, and you hated it so much. It shattered my confidence. So I’m sorry, but I can’t give you an explanation other than you have to trust my word.”
They were silent for far too long.
Yoongi’s heart ached in pain as he looked up at Hoseok. All he wanted to do was crawl into Hoseok’s arms and cry and rest. But whatever awkwardness was there before only increased tenfold.
Yoongi turned around and left without another word.
In the end, he ended up sleeping in his own misery after all.
It was another agonizing week before Yoongi and Hoseok really talked again. They saw each other, of course. It was hard not to when you lived right next to each other. But neither of them said a word beyond “good morning”.
Yoongi got a lot done in that week without Hoseok distracting him. Oddly enough, the whole ordeal didn’t make Yoongi start thinking again. Instead, it allowed him a reason to block out all thoughts of Hoseok from his mind and carry on with his day. Yoongi got more filming done than before. He even got a few compliments from the director for being so focused and passionate.
Now that Yoongi wasn’t thinking of Hoseok, it was almost fun. Yoongi even finally learned his co-star’s real name.
It was strange to think that he and Daehwan had been sucking each other’s faces and roaming around each other’s bodies for so long without so much as knowing basic information about each other. Of course, Daehwan knew Yoongi from the games. But they quickly found there was so much more to discover.
They hung out just once that week, while there was a break in filming. They walked around the halls of the Capitol together with their sandwiches and talked for nearly an hour. It was funny how easy it was to open up to someone who was practically a stranger.
Yoongi didn’t say anything about his situation with Hoseok, of course. But he did tell Daehwan about the guilt and stress he’d endured ever since the games ended and the homesickness he had for the Principle. They talked for a while about how Yoongi felt out of place in the Capitol.
It was surprising to learn that Daehewan felt the same.
Apparently, life in the Inner City wasn’t exactly what it was like in the Capitol. The Capitol was where the richest of the rich were. And, while the people in the Inner City weren’t exactly struggling to get by like the people in the Principle, they didn’t have nearly the same amount of luxury.
Daehwan lived in the Inner City, going wherever he was hired. That got him a foot in the door of the Capitol half of the time. But starring in adult movies was far from what regular people in the Capitol did. Therefore, he was always looked at with a lens of irregularity.
Like he was a specimen.
They were both the ones who made it out. Both by becoming sex symbols with no true power over their own image.
On their walk, they passed by Hoseok. But he wasn’t sure Hoseok even noticed him. It was late at night when Hoseok entered Yoongi’s room just to stand against Yoongi’s door. He didn’t even say anything before he walked away.
At some point in his stay at the Capitol, Yoongi became a heavier sleeper. He still woke up relatively easily. But being in Hoseok’s arms every night meant that Yoongi had to sleep through more disturbance.
Yoongi didn’t even notice that Hoseok was in his room until he rolled over in his bed — only to hit something hard and very back-shaped. He was immediately jolted out of his sleep, his eyes opening to find that Hoseok had been sitting on his bed for what must have been quite some time now.
Before Yoongi could even say anything, Hoseok placed his hand over Yoongi’s hips and asked, “Do you want to spend the day with me? Your schedule is free. I made sure to check. We haven’t spent time together in a while and I hate it.”
Yoongi looked down at Hoseok’s hand, then back up at Hoseok, and smiled tiredly, “How long have you been sitting there and rehearsing that?”
“About half an hour now,” Hoseok laughed. “So?”
“Of course I want to,” Yoongi replied. “Since when have I ever turned down spending a day with you.”
Hoseok smiled fondly at Yoongi but his eyes were a little pained as he shrugged, “I didn’t know if you’d want to after…I don’t even know what to call it honestly. All of that that happened in my room. But I don’t want to talk about that yet. I just want to hang out with my friend and watch some movies.”
“Movies?”
Hoseok grabbed Yoongi’s hand, pulling him up out of bed as he grinned, “If you get up and get changed, I can show you.”
Just like that, they were back to where they were before without missing a step.
Yoongi changed as fast as he could into one of his usual outfits and practically flew out of the door where Hoseok was waiting. Hoseok led Yoongi back to the hallway where they first entered. But now, instead of going out, they turned into the hallway right next to them. Yoongi had never ever been in it before. But it seemed emptier than the other ones.
There were lots of enclosed doors and staircases. But Yoongi didn’t even have the ability to think about how creepy it was. Hoseok’s arm sat around his waist, his hand in Yoongi’s front pocket as they walked together.
“So are we going to watch some of my pornography? Is that what you call movies,” Yoongi asked. “Actually…do you watch them anymore? I know you used to do it to support me but have you like…kept watching?”
Hoseok pulled Yoongi a little closer to him as they turned a corner and shook his head, “I don’t anymore. As much as I like supporting you, I decided a while ago that I would lose my sanity if I kept watching. And it felt weird seeing you like that.”
“We both know you already have. But I appreciate it,” Yoongi smiled.
Hoseok stopped in front of a small doorway. It was the only one in the entire hall to have a singular door in it. The same lock that used to be on Yoogni’s bedroom was on it as well. It made Yoongi wonder why “movies” needed to be locked up so tightly.
Hoseok opened the door, revealing a room with quite a few red seats in front of a big white screen and what looked like a really big camera in the back. There were tons and tons of boxes around the camera, filled to the brim with what looked like really thin books. Yoongi could have sworn that he’d never seen anything like it before, but he got such a familiar feeling from it. He knew it had to be from the old world.
“These were all saved from the quell. A movie is like a book. It’s a story someone made. Only, they record it and keep it in discs for us to watch,” Hoseok explained. He pointed towards the front row of seats, waving Yoongi away. “Go sit down. I’m going to choose some of my favorites to show you.”
The moment Hoseok put the disc in the camera, the screen lit up. A large photo of a beach and two men came up with the words “Call Me By Your Name” written on the screen.
Hoseok sat down next to Yoongi, pulling up the arm rest between them so that they could be more comfortable in their seats. Yoongi leaned his head against Hoseok’s just as he clicked something on a little black rectangle he was holding.
Yoongi was in awe.
The moment the movie began to play, Yoongi was amazed by everything. The sight of buildings and electronics and vehicles and clothes that he’d never seen before flooded his eyes. Noises he hadn’t heard in forever filled his senses. All of the colors were beautiful. Yoongi saw more blue than he ever remembered seeing.
It was amazing the way that the camera wasn’t continuously on the people on screen. It cut between them, as if their perspective was jumping.
Yoongi’s eyes stayed glued to the screen, determined not to miss a single thing, even as Hoseok explained what was going on to him. He was barely able to consciously understand the character’s feelings, but he never felt like he didn’t understand where they were coming from.
The biggest confusion for Yoongi came with the character’s feelings towards each other. He understood that the two main people the story followed wanted to be close to each other. But there was something that just didn’t click for him. Especially when they kissed.
It just seemed like they wanted some fun with each other, to have a fun affair while they were away in Italy — whatever that was.
That wasn’t to say that, by the end, Yoongi wasn’t a sobbing mess.
Hoseok gently rubbed Yoongi’s shoulder, wiping his tears away as he asked, “Did you like it?”
“It’s so sad. Why would you choose to do that to yourself,” Yoongi sniffled. He buried his face in Hoseok’s shoulder, inching so close to him that he ended up in the crack between the seats. “I don’t think I understand most of it, but it hurts so much anyway. Why did he have to completely abandon him? Friends don’t do that to each other. If you were getting married, you wouldn’t abandon me like that, would you?”
Hoseok took in a deep breath, followed by a long sigh, “Well, they were more than friends, petal. I don’t think I’d abandon you like that if I were getting married, but I certainly wouldn’t want to be as close as we are now. He had to choose the more realistic option. But they still loved each other.”
Yoongi pursed his lips. He didn’t want to ask Hoseok what love was and risk sounding like an idiot in front of him for not understanding. But he also wanted to desperately know what love was and what it felt like. The movie made it look so beautiful, yet tragic.
He wanted to know what that felt like. He wanted to know what it meant to care for someone so deeply that their absence in your life because of their involvement with another person ruined your entire life.
“Well, congratulations. You watched your first movie,” Hoseok smiled. He nuzzled his face into the top of Yoongi’s head. Just that small action was enough to make Yoongi’s heart jump. “I’m going to put on another one.”
All of Hoseok’s movie selections seemed to be tragic.
The next one was about two best friends who were struggling together. The first thing that struck Yoongi about the movie was that, even when they were struggling, they were doing much better than he had been. But the second thing Yoongi saw was that they both clearly cared for each other a lot.
He saw it in their mannerisms, the way they looked at each other, the way they moved around each other. At any moment where they were close together, something deep inside of Yoongi jumped out, hoping for them to kiss each other. But they couldn’t. They were so scared that things would change for the worse that they didn’t let themselves give in.
Hoseok was mostly silent for this one, deciding to just watch Yoongi watch it. He seemed to find Yoongi’s reactions funny — especially when it looked like they were about to kiss.
When they finally did, they told each other “I love you.” And Yoongi was confused. He sat there, thinking for so long about what they could possibly mean by that that he almost missed it when the girl died.
Yoongi felt like he was hit by a train when it happened. The sequence afterwards of the guy revisiting places they had core memories from and mourning her made Yoongi start bawling into Hoseok’s shoulder. Hoseok had to pause the movie so that he could comfort Yoongi and reassure him that nobody actually died.
They curled together, now fully on one seat with their limbs tangled together as they watched. Yoongi’s head rested on Hoseok’s chest, the subtle sound of Hoseok’s heartbeat filling the back of Yoongi’s mind. He could feel every breath Hoseok took, the rumble of his voice in his chest whenever he spoke.
Yoongi couldn’t help but want to smile and kick his feet at how close they were again — even as the sad parts of the movie were playing out. And a little, green eyed monster on his head jumped in joy knowing that not even that woman was this close to Hoseok.
The biggest things Yoongi took away from that movie was that kissing was somehow correlated to love and that, maybe, the reason that Hoseok wanted to kiss him was because he…loved him. But some things still didn’t make sense to Yoongi. Because, the last one, there was the sexual aspect of why they cared for each other. He and Hoseok clearly had that. But, this one, their feeling of “love” seemed to be so much more complex.
There was a sharing of their hopes and dreams with each other, an imagination of their future together, a belief that they would always have each other, that any bad day or moment could be solved if they had each other. More importantly, there was some strange, deep, unexplained connection on both of their sides that Yoongi couldn’t understand.
Yoongi wasn’t sure if Hoseok felt that way about him. Nothing in the movie explained it clearly enough for Yoongi to understand. So he couldn’t figure out if Hoseok felt that second part of it towards him.
It was when they got to some silly, “superhero” movies that Yoongi finally understood.
The man had spent three entire movies, longing for this one woman from decades and decades ago. She was his guiding star north, the person from his old life that he could never let go of. And, at the end of the series, he defied space and time just to have that dance with her that he promised he’d have.
Nothing about it was explained any more clearly than in the other movies. But it took the unbelievable exaggerations of some man named Captain America in order for it all to click.
Yoongi couldn’t put it into words. He wasn’t sure that anything could. But, now, he was sure that he knew how it felt to love…and to be loved.
Yoongi looked up at Hoseok, his eyes wandering Hoseok’s face as he tried to take in his revelation.
This was the man that made Yoongi feel like his life was over from just a woman coming out of his room, the man that Yoongi immediately sought out for comfort anyways, the man whose kiss didn’t leave Yoongi’s mind for days, the man who made Yoongi felt cared for in a way he’d never been before, the man who Yoongi wanted to live the rest of his life with, the man who could make Yoongi smile so hard that his cheeks hurt.
And Yoongi was one of the few people who could make Hoseok open up and smile and let his guard down. Who could compel him to bend over backwards just to spend time together. Who meant so much to Hoseok that he would come running to him in front of everyone in a dusty arena just to embrace him.
Hoseok was willing to disappoint his country and his father just so that he could pull Yoongi away and kiss him.
Looking at Hoseok’s face, Yoongi finally understood what it was that Hoseok wanted to tell him. And he finally understood why Hoseok was so hesitant. He was terrified that Yoongi would push him away and their friendship would be ruined, just like in the movie.
Yoongi felt Hoseok lace their fingers together. He wasn’t totally sure. The only thing he could see was Hoseok’s eyes, flickering down to his lips again with a scared look behind the fire.
An ache ripped through Yoongi’s heart as he realized that he had pushed Hoseok away. He did ruin their friendship for a long while. All along, Hoseok knew that he wanted to love Yoongi. Maybe, in a strange way, he always had been. But everything that had come between them was because of Yoongi.
“Hoseok,” Yoongi quietly called out.
Hoseok’s eyes shot back up to Yoongi’s, his grip on Yoongi’s back tightening even more as he smiled fondly at Yoongi, “Yes?”
Yoongi felt his entire face flush with heat. His stomach suddenly began to twist as he thought about what to say next. He found himself doubting if he was right about Hoseok’s feelings towards him.
But, if Yoongi learned anything in the Principle, it was that you couldn’t live if you just waited around for things to come.
“Do you remember the day you found me,” Yoongi asked.
Before Yoongi could regret asking that question, Hoseok leaned his head against the seat with a wistful sigh, “Of course I do. I was just walking around the park, looking for my champion. And then I saw the prettiest thing I’d ever laid eyes on. I was so happy when I realized you were a fighter too.”
“You really thought I was the prettiest,” Yoongi smiled shyly. His heart felt like it was about to fly away. Especially as he thought about how handsome he thought Hoseok was. “You weren’t so bad yourself. I didn’t realize that they could make men that hot.”
Hoseok let out a quiet laugh, his hand coming up to gently cup Yoongi’s jaw, “I still think you’re the prettiest person in the world. God, the amount of times I saw you that first week and thought ‘how could they make him look even more jaw-dropping than before’. It didn’t hurt that you weren’t scared of me either.”
“Oh, I was really scared of you. I got really lucky, having you as my sponsor,” Yoongi hummed.
They fell into silence, Hoseok’s eyes immediately falling back down to Yoongi’s lips. His thumb gently brushed over Yoongi’s cheek and grazed over the corner of his lip as he stared at Yoongi.
This time, with the realization that he maybe loved Hoseok, Yoongi couldn’t help but stare back.
He placed his hand over Hoseok’s as he moved closer. The last few inches of space between their bodies closed into just one, and Yoongi could hear his heart beating in his ears as Hoseok stared at him. He could feel Hoseok’s shaking breath on his face and the tension in Hoseok’s hand as he tried not to hold onto Yoongi too tightly.
Hoseok didn’t seem to think that he was brave. But Yoongi had to disagree. Because being this close to someone you knew you loved and actively fighting to defy everything your heart wanted took courage.
“Hoseok,” Yoongi whispered. His voice was shaking, his entire body frozen in a fear worse than what he felt in the games. “Tell me that thing. The one that you were scared to tell me.”
Hoseok didn’t move, but a flash of fear struck his face as he replied, “Petal…that’s not something you want to hear. I know…I know you think you do. But, trust me. All it’s going to do is ruin everything we have.”
“Tell me, Hoseok,” Yoongi repeated.
This time, it came out more like a beg than anything else.
Hoseok pursed his lips, his eyes pained as he breathed out, “I told you once that I was wrong about not looking for someone like you. When we were on that piece of concrete together, and you fell asleep right next to me as I said it. It wasn’t even the full truth.”
“Then what is it,” Yoongi gently asked. He placed his hand on Hoseok’s chest, right over his heart. Hoseok tensed up, waiting for a push that never came.
“I love you,” Hoseok confessed. His eyes became glossy as he looked at Yoongi.
Yoongi’s entire body went into that same state of bliss that he felt after he and Hoseok had fucked each other. But, this time, it wasn’t abruptly cut off by the fear of things becoming messy.
They were messy. And Yoongi was finding that he loved that about them.
“I love you,” Hoseok repeated, as if he was in disbelief that he’d said it. “I…I didn’t even know I was looking for you. It was like the universe just knew that you were everything I needed. And now…every night I think about what we could be. If we were in another world, in another lifetime, another planet. Anywhere where I could love you without restraint. When I told you I was scared of what would happen after the games, it was because I was terrified that you’d find someone else who could do that. Who could love you, and who you could love.”
Yoongi blinked away the tears in his eyes. He couldn’t wipe the dumb smile off of his face as he giggled, “Hoseok…I could never find someone who loves me as much as you do. You taught me what love means and what it feels like. That’s special. I’m just sorry that I hurt you so many times because I didn’t realize it earlier.”
“You didn’t hurt me,” Hoseok chuckled. He wiped a tear from his eye before it could even fall out. “I love you, my petal. It feels so good to say it. I never want to stop. I love you. I love you. I love you.”
Everything was so warm that it was burning. Every little inch of Hoseok’s skin on his screamed for more. There was nothing for either of them to feel but the euphoric heartache of their hearts bursting from the seams with love.
Yoongi’s heart felt like it finally exploded as he laughed, “I love you too, you goofball.”
“Call me Seok-ah,” Hoseok hummed. He leaned in closer to Yoongi’s face, smiling at Yoongi teasingly as he dangled what he knew they both wanted right in front of their faces. “I only let the people closest to me call me that. You’re long overdue.”
Yoongi wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s neck, practically draping himself over Hoseok as he pouted, “Will you kiss me, Seok-ah?”
He was barely able to finish his sentence before Hoseok pounced on him.
Their lips crashed together. Only, this time, Yoongi wasn’t frozen. He knew what he wanted now. And what he wanted was to kiss Hoseok so much that it made up for every time he didn’t reciprocate Hoseok’s kiss.
It took them less than a second to find their rhythm. Their lips pressed together as hard as they could, their hands grasping at anything to pull each other in even further, Hoseok’s tongue exploring Yoongi’s mouth, their teeth hitting against each other, and their mouths salty as they cried. It was messy. It was desperate. And it was overwhelming.
But it was perfect.
Yoongi could barely feel his own body anymore. He was swimming in the clouds. The only thing that grounded him was Hoseok’s hand running all over his thighs. Hoseok’s control over him was dizzying. It was as if Hoseok knew exactly where all of Yoongi’s weakest points were. If anyone were to see them, they would guess that Hoseok had spent days exploring Yoongi’s body.
All it took was a squeeze of Yoongi’s ass, the lingering ghost of a touch running up his inner thigh, and whatever was left of Yoongi’s protective barrier against Hoseok melted away.
Yoongi didn’t even know how long they kissed each other for. What he did know was that, by the time they pulled away, the end credits had been done for what felt like an eternity, both of their lips were swollen, and their clothes and hair were entirely messed up.
“You taste like peaches,” Hoseok panted.
He laid down on his seat, the chair already fully reclined from Yoongi’s pushing against Hoseok’s lap.
Yoongi laid down right next to Hoseok, pushing his chair back so that they could lay there together. They both were panting, trying to catch the breaths that they stole from each other. Somewhere along the way, their hands intertwined again, and they fell back down from heaven together.
“So what happens now,” Yoongi asked.
Hoseok turned to Yoongi, his smile slowly returning to his face as he suggested, “We could be lovers. Or we can just keep being friends with the knowledge that we mean more to each other than that.”
Yoongi turned to face Hoseok. He didn’t know what triggered it, but he suddenly remembered that Hoseok wasn’t any regular person. He was the next President. The heir apparent to the most powerful man in the country. And he had a public image.
One that certainly didn’t fit falling in love with his champion from the Principle.
Yoongi’s smile fell along with his heart as he replied, “Hoseok, you can’t be with me. At least not in any way that you could freely love me.”
Hoseok's smile fell too as the reminder hit him, “Right…When I’m with you, I feel so normal. It’s so easy to forget that I’m not just another lucky guy in the city who found the love of his life.”
Yoongi blushed at the idea that he was the greatest love Hoseok had experienced in his entire life and sighed, “I don’t know what we’re going to do, Seok-ah. Is it possible for us to just…keep doing what we’ve been doing? I think being like this when we’re alone together, it works for us.”
“I think so too. Besides, I kind of like this. It makes it more intimate. Like a little secret,” Hoseok smiled. “Can I kiss you again?”
Yoongi nodded in response. He closed his eyes as Hoseok moved in closer. Hoseok’s hand cupped Yoongi’s jaw, his arm wrapping around Yoongi’s shoulders. This time, their kiss was gentle — Yoongi would even go so far as to say it was sweet.
There was something so…perfect about it. Yoongi could practically taste their future on Hoseok’s lips. And it was everything he never knew he wanted.
Hoseok smiled into Yoongi’s mouth, stealing another kiss before he pulled away, “It’s getting a little late. You wanna come back to my room and have dinner together. And maybe…we can spend the night together.”
“Like…sex,” Yoongi asked.
“Let’s call it making love,” Hoseok chuckled.
Yoongi ran his fingers through Hoseok’s hair, giggling as Hoseok pulled his waist closer, “I like the sound of that more. You’re on.”
Yoongi didn’t realize how much he missed spending all his time in Hoseok’s room until Hoseok grabbed his waist and pulled them down onto his bed.
They crashed into the bed together, Hoseok’s mess of pillows and blankets enveloping them. Hoseok tugged at the waistband of the shorts he gave Yoongi, eyeing Yoongi up and down as he tugged them down Yoongi’s hip.
Yoongi was starting to think that Hoseok kept hotpants in his closet just so that he could give them to Yoongi.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you just wanted to go somewhere more private so that we can make love,” Yoongi hummed. He flicked Hoseok’s chin teasingly, watching as Hoseok pursed his swollen lips. They were reddish everywhere, fading around the edges. But Yoongi knew that his weren’t much better. “You know, everyone who passed by us in the hallway knew what we were doing.”
Hoseok pressed a kiss to the tip of Yoongi’s nose, making him blush uncontrollably, and grinned, “People in the Capitol are good at keeping secrets. Which means that, if my servants come in here and I’m eating you out like you’re supposed to be my dinner, they’ll keep quiet about it.”
“You really like eating me out,” Yoongi giggled. He let Hoseok press kisses down to his collarbone, holding Hoseok’s head there firmly as he wrapped his leg around Hoseok’s hip. “Be patient, Seok-ah.”
Hoseok backed away from Yoongi a bit, his eyes wandering around Yoongi’s face fondly, “I love the way you say my name.”
The door to Hoseok’s room opened, but Hoseok didn’t even try to move away from Yoongi. He just continued holding him close as the servants walked in with both of their trays of food. They didn’t even look surprised at the fact that Yoongi and Hoseok were clearly cuddling much too close to even be passable as friends.
Once they left, Yoongi sat up on Hoseok’s lap and reached over to grab the food. But that proved to be very difficult with Hoseok’s hands holding him down by the hips. Eventually, Yoongi just gave up and flopped down on top of Hoseok with a little sigh.
“I guess neither of us get food,” Yoongi pouted.
Hoseok adjusted his grip so that his entire arm was wrapped around Yoongi’s ass. He sat up, picking Yoongi up with one swift motion, “I’ll cut you some slack since you haven’t been here in a week. But no eating on my bed.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes, but he didn’t protest. Instead, he let Hoseok carry him across the room. Yoongi was set down right in front of Hoseok’s desk. While Hoseok ran to get their food, Yoongi looked down at the papers. There were blueprints for something and a lot of paperwork all stacked in neat piles over a map of something.
“These are all technically classified,” Hoseok hummed. “But I know you won’t leak anything in these.”
“You don’t know that. You’re just choosing to trust me because I’m gonna suck your dick later,” Yoongi laughed. He tilted his head up, letting Hoseok kiss his face. “I actually run a network of spies, and you’ve just given me all the materials I need to finally finish this mission. I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning.”
Hoseok opened up Yoongi’s food plate. He seemed endeared as he rolled his eyes and fed Yoongi a spoon of what he called ‘gnocchi’. It was a tiny little hybrid between a noodle and a dumpling, and it was made of potatoes and flour then covered in a creamy, gochujang tomato sauce.
Surprisingly, it wasn’t bad. Yoongi thought he would have been sick of potatoes by now. But preparing them in a different wany made them so much more bearable. And it certainly didn’t hurt that Hoseok was feeding it to him.
“Wow, you’re leaving tomorrow morning,” Hoseok repeated, a smile brightening his face as he joined in on the joke. “That’s too soon, petal.”
“Maybe I’ll stay a little later if you make tonight worth it, Seok-ah,” Yoongi smiled back. He grabbed the spoon from Hoseok’s hands, holding it delicately so that none of the food spilled. “Pull up a chair and sit with me.”
Hoseok grabbed the stool right next to his punching bag and dragged it over. He sat down right next to Yoongi, the height of their chairs making Yoongi almost a head taller than Hoseok.
Yoongi pressed the spoon against Hoseok’s lips, watching as Hoseok took a bite of Yoongi’s pasta.
“I won’t disappoint you,” Hoseok replied. He chewed on his food slowly, looking down at the ground as he tried to figure out what he thought about the taste.
Hoseok wasn’t picky with his food. It was rare that he made a face or avoided eating something. But, somehow, Yoongi could tell that Hoseok didn’t like it. Not even Yoongi was sure exactly how he knew. Hoseok’s face stayed neutral, but Yoongi could see the feelings clearly on his face.
“You don’t have to eat it,” Yoongi hummed. He held onto the back of Hoseok’s neck and ran his thumb back and forth across the hinge of Hoseok’s jaw. He felt Hoseok tense at his touch, but he didn’t think anything of it. “It’s my dinner, not yours.”
He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something. But Hoseok seemed to hesitate, choosing instead to melt into Yoongi’s hand and smile, “You know, you make me happier than I’ve ever been. My entire life has been lived in fortresses and bunkers, learning politics and combat. You make it all seem new and exciting again.”
“I’m happy I can do that for you,” Yoongi sighed. He reached over Hoseok’s head, taking another bite of his dinner to hide his face from him.
Truthfully, he wasn’t very happy to renew Hoseok’s fire for meaningless politics and violence. It was what burned the world down. What forced Yoongi to survive on his own at 10 years old. What made Yoongi end up in a situation where he had to kill other people for entertainment. What made Yoongi not know what simple things like love and flowers were until Hoseok showed it to him.
The reminder of it all made Yoongi’s heart ache. He squeezed his eyes shut to stop himself from crying.
Yoongi’s eyes were closed for so long that he didn’t notice Hoseok moving out from under him until the sound of wine being poured into a glass hit Yoongi’s ears and the feeling of Hoseok’s arms wrapping around him from behind snapped him out of his head.
“I love you, petal,” Hoseok whispered. “I remembered how much I loved the flowers and going swimming and caring about people because of you. I’ve loved before, but I’ve never been so affected by it. Everything I look at now, I think about you and how much you’d like it.”
He didn’t even ask Yoongi what was wrong. Somehow, Yoongi came to the realization that Hoseok didn’t need to. He knew how Yoongi’s mind worked. He could tell when something made Yoongi retreat back into his head for safety, and he could tell what it was that made him go there.
It was heartwarming. Especially since Hoseok was the only person who could pull Yoongi back to the ground.
Yoongi’s heart was pulled towards Hoseok, a smile coming back to his face as he opened his eyes again. Hoseok’s face was nestled right into Yoongi’s shoulder with a glass of wine pressed right against Yoongi’s chest.
Yoongi tried to stand up so that he could turn around and face Hoseok. But his foot landed right on top of Hoseok’s. They fell over onto the ground, Hoseok turning them so that Yoongi’s back didn’t hit the chair. The carpeted ground cushioned Hoseok’s fall, and Hoseok cushioned Yoongi’s.
They stared at each other for a long moment before a smile spread across Hoseok’s face. He burst into laughter, throwing his head forwards into Yoongi’s shoulder. Yoongi felt himself start laughing along with him.
It was strange. There was nothing that was really that funny about this all. But Hoseok’s laugh was enough to make Yoongi smile.
Yoongi grabbed a pillow off of the foot of Hoseok’s bed, whining as he smothered Hoseok with it, “Stop making fun of me. It’s your fault, your foot made me trip.”
Hoseok wrestled the pillow out of Yoongi’s hands, flipping Yoongi’s body onto the ground. He pinned Yoongi down, holding Yoongi’s leg firmly around his waist as he teased, “You’re so cute when you whine.”
That weird feeling lit up Yoongi’s heart again. His heart fluttered as he and Hoseok laid there together on the floor, their bodies tangled together. His stomach felt like it was molten liquid as Hoseok’s dick pressed against his inner thigh. It was so close to him, and Yoongi found himself already wanting it in his mouth.
“You’ve got a little wine on your clothes,” Hoseok pointed out.
Yoongi looked down to find a large, purplish-red stain on his shirt that bled into his pants. The offending wine glass sat on the floor next to them, staining Hoseok’s carpet as well. There was still quite a bit left in it.
Yoongi slipped his shirt off, throwing it somewhere to the side. He pulled his shorts down just a little, wriggling around Hoseok’s waist as he sighed, “Aw, shit. I can’t seem to get my shorts off with you holding my legs down like this.”
Hoseok’s eyes stuck to the bit of lace visible on Yoongi’s hips like they were glued there. But that didn’t stop him from pulling himself away and staring at the rest of Yoongi’s body. His eyes followed the curve of Yoongi’s waist, his fingers drifting away from Yoongi’s thighs to explore every little inch of Yoongi’s stomach.
Yoongi’s body was the same, but so different from before all at once. He wasn’t entirely skin and bones anymore. His thighs filled out, his stomach and chest was starting to develop a sort of softness, and his ass was a bit bigger too. Hoseok seemed to love it.
He looked up at Hoseok, batting his eyelashes teasingly as he pouted, “Seok-ahh. Will you please help me?”
“I guess I have no choice,” Hoseok grinned.
He hooked his fingers around the waistband of Yoongi’s pants, backing up a little so that he could pull it down. Just as Hoseok got far away enough, Yoongi grabbed the wine glass and splashed the rest of it onto Hoseok’s slacks.
“Oops,” Yoongi smiled. “I guess you’ve gotta take your pants off too.”
Hoseok didn’t waste any time. He undid his pants as quickly as he could, discarding them to the side along with his shirt and underwear. Hoseok’s cock was already rock hard, a bit of pre-cum leaking out of the tip already. He practically tore Yoongi’s pants off, his fingers immediately taking the opportunity to run across the edges of Yoongi’s panties.
Just the look on Hoseok’s face as he stared at Yoongi was enough to make Yoongi’s thighs slick. Yoongi didn’t even know that someone looking at him with something as simple as adoration could make him so hot and bothered.
“Fuck, you’re perfect,” Hoseok sighed. He gently pulled Yoongi’s panties down, watching the way they slid off of Yoongi’s skin. “Did you wear this because you knew I’d see them?”
Yoongi pulled Hoseok closer to him, smiling as he whispered in Hoseok’s ear, “I wear them every day. Every time you’ve ever seen me…that’s what was underneath. You like that idea? You like imagining me wearing these?”
Hoseok swallowed heavily, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he groaned, “Fuck. You can’t do that to me, petal. That’s evil.”
“I can do worse. Imagine you and me, tangled up together every night. Me choking on your cock, riding your face,” Yoongi hummed. Hoseok pressed a kiss to Yoongi’s neck, sucking hard on his skin. Yoongi let out a small moan as Hoseok moved up his neck.
Hoseok continued to suck on Yoongi’s skin, breathing him in as he replied, “Fuck all of that. I want to fuck you until you can’t walk anymore.”
Yoongi didn’t say anything. Instead, he wrapped his legs around Hoseok’s waist even tighter. His hand wrapped around Hoseok’s cock, feeling it up and down as he guided it towards his ass.
In all honesty, he didn’t have a lot of experience with sex down there. Yoongi sucked dick like a pro. That was usually all that the soldiers wanted. They had husbands and wives back home after all. There were a few that were willing to go further though. Yoongi still remembered his very first time being penetrated. The soldier had pushed him against a wall in an alleyway and fucked his ass right there like it was the last thing he’d ever do.
It was terrifying, and it was painful. But it got easier over the course of time. At some point, Yoongi found some kind of enjoyment in getting shoved and bent over on the nearest surface and treated like a rag doll.
But the way Hoseok’s hands held Yoongi up now, grabbing him as if he were something precious and fragile that Hoseok refused to even accidentally let go of…it was even better than getting thrown around.
The tip of Hoseok’s dick prodded against Yoongi’s ass, but Hoseok didn’t seem to want to push in.
Instead, Hoseok moved upwards, letting his dick drag against the length of Yoongi’s pussy. He pushed his cock just barely in between Yoongi’s lips, the tip easily sliding up and down with Yoongi’s slick. Yoongi grabbed onto Hoseok’s arms, his fingers tensing as he waited for Hoseok to move back down.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” Hoseok groaned.
Yoongi’s body squirmed as Hoseok teased him. He felt his heart beat faster and faster, but he couldn’t tell if it was nervousness or excitement. Yoongi didn’t know what Hoseok was doing. But he did know that it was terrifying, and he trusted Hoseok enough to know that he wouldn’t ever hurt him.
The tip of Hoseok’s dick slipped in between Yoongi’s folds, opening Yoongi’s cunt up just enough to make some room for the rest of his cock. Yoongi let out a loud gasp as he realized what Hoseok was doing.
Yoongi’s eyes became glassy, his voice getting caught in his throat as Hoseok pushed in just a little further. It was wet and warm and it felt amazing. But Yoongi was terrified. He bit his lip to stop himself from crying in fear as his body was invaded in a way he didn’t know it could be.
“Seok-ah,” Yoongi barely managed to choke out.
Hoseok immediately stopped, looking up to find Yoongi on the verge of tears. He rushed to check if Yoongi was okay, examining his entire face as quickly as he could, “What’s wrong, petal? Are you okay?”
Yoongi nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as he admitted, “I’ve never…I didn’t…I’ve only ever done it in my mouth and in my ass. I don’t know what’s happening.”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I thought because you aren’t a virgin…shit, I’m sorry, petal,” Hoseok cursed. He tried to pull out, but Yoongi tightened his grip around Hoseok’s waist, forcing him to stay in place.
Hoseok stared at him in confusion, but he didn’t say a word.
“Don’t stop. I want you to ruin me, Seok-ah,” Yoongi begged. He squirmed on Hoseok’s cock, shifting around nervously as he asked, “Can you just…hold my hand and walk me through it?”
Hoseok didn’t reply. Instead, he laced their fingers together, holding them together on Yoongi’s stomach. And that was all the confirmation Yoongi needed.
“I’m going to push in as far as I can, okay? Nice and slow.”
Yoongi let his head fall back onto the ground. He concentrated on Hoseok’s voice as he pushed in further. Yoongi felt like he was going to be split in half as Hoseok tried to get himself in. He was so thick, Yoongi felt like he couldn’t breathe. It was like a train was trying to run through him.
But the stretch felt like heaven. The wet slide of Hoseok’s cock pushing further and further into him as Hoseok’s calming voice filled Yoongi’s ears felt like heaven. Yoongi never wanted it to stop.
“That’s it. So pretty and pink. You’re being such a good boy,” Hoseok purred. Yoongi felt his entire body light up in flames as Hoseok called him that. His heart practically jumped up at Hoseok. Suddenly, all he wanted was to be Hoseok’s good boy, just so that Hoseok would keep calling him that.
Hoseok gripped Yoongi’s hand tighter, “Just a little more. One last push.”
Just as Yoongi took a deep breath, Hoseok slammed the rest of his cock in. His entire body jumped and a loud whimper escaped from him as Hoseok bottomed out inside of him. It felt like his insides were being rammed into. A tear fell from his eyes. But Hoseok being balls deep inside of him and stretching him out was intoxicating.
“Look at you…I wish you could see yourself. So pretty and wrecked. You’re already ruined just from getting speared on my cock,” Hoseok cooed. He ran his hand along the insides of Yoongi’s thigh, his fingers teasing at Yoongi’s clit. “Such a pretty cunt, so wet and pink and tight. It took me so well, I find it hard to believe I’m the only one who’s ever gotten the pleasure of fucking it.”
Yoongi looked up at Hoseok with teary eyes, nodding as hard as he could, “You’re the only one, Seok-ah.”
“Good boy,” Hoseok hummed. A small moan came out of Yoongi. He tried to move his hips, desperate to feel Hoseok moving inside of him again. “You like being called that?”
“Please,” Yoongi whined. “Fuck me.”
Hoseok’s face was flushed, and Yoongi could feel his dick twitching inside of him. He could feel every little shift of Hoseok’s body inside of him. Every little vein and detail of Hoseok’s cock was pressed right against Yoongi’s walls.
Hoseok couldn’t hold his composure for much longer, and they both knew it.
Yoongi looked straight into Hoseok’s eyes, his hands sliding to hold onto Hoseok’s back as he simply pleaded,
“Seok-ah.”
Hoseok’s composure broke. He leaned forwards, forcing Yoongi’s legs to dangle up in the air. His hand still remained laced with Yoongi’s. The other found itself holding on tight to Yoongi’s hair.
“I’m about to lose my fucking mind. So, if I’m going too hard. Just scream ‘petal’,” Hoseok breathed out.
Yoongi nodded, biting his lip in a nervous anticipation.
Hoseok began to pull out in a slow and painful drag. But before Yoongi could even register feeling empty, Hoseok slammed back in. Yoongi’s body jumped. The feeling of Hoseok’s entire cock ramming into him was so much more than he could handle. His insides felt like they were being rearranged.
And then, Hoseok found his rhythm.
Suddenly, Hoseok’s thrusts sped up, becoming more and more animalistic. And Yoongi didn’t have time to breathe anymore. He was a moaning and whimpering mess, his body jumping with every thrust as he cried out for his Seok-ah. Yoongi couldn’t even think about the consequences of what they were doing.
All Yoongi wanted was every inch of Hoseok to be inside of him deeper and deeper. Every time Hoseok hit a certain spot in him, his body shook and another wave of euphoria hit him.
All he could do was lie on the floor — a complete wreck of drool and tears. His fingernails dug into Hoseok’s back, his body rocking back and forth on the floor as Hoseok fucked him harder and harder. The pit in his stomach grew hotter and hotter until Yoongi felt like he was burning in hell for what they were doing.
Yoongi’s entire body felt like jelly. His breathing became shallow and shaky as Hoseok folded him almost completely in half, his legs now completely over Hoseok’s shoulders. The new position allowed Hoseok to thrust into him even deeper than before and kiss his body at the same time.
It was messy and wet and painful and Yoongi never wanted it to stop. He could hear their bodies slapping against each other, but it was the hottest thing Yoongi had ever heard.
Yoongi had never felt like this before. It was like something deep down inside of him took control of his body. All he was was a doll for Hoseok to love and fuck, and Yoongi couldn’t have been happier with the idea of his life amounting to that. Every single push, every groan, every word they managed to push out was filled with passion.
And, call Yoongi crazy, but he could swear there was a sense of commitment. He could practically hear Hoseok’s heart screaming that he didn’t want anyone else but Yoongi.
Hoseok groaned low in Yoongi’s ear. The sound made something inside of Yoongi snap. He felt his entire body shake with the most violent orgasm he ever had. Tears poured out of his eyes. The feeling of Hoseok’s cock in him became even wetter than before. His fingernails dug into Hoseok’s back, his teeth sinking into the flesh of Hoseok’s shoulder as his entire body tensed.
Hoseok didn’t slow down though. Instead, he kept up the pace, making Yoongi’s body twitch and shake with every thrust. The pleasure continued to course through Yoongi’s veins, only now it felt spiked. Like each little drop of adrenaline sprinting through Yoongi’s body was tearing him open from the inside.
Suddenly, Hoseok’s hips began to falter. He let out a loud groan as something hot and sticky began to fill Yoongi’s insides. Hoseok slowly lost his rhythm as he tried his best to chase that feeling again — replacing it with a desperate, mindless need to stay inside Yoongi for as long as possible. But all it accomplished was filling Yoongi with cum deeper and deeper.
Even as Hoseok stopped, Yoongi felt impossibly full.
They laid there for a long time, panting as they tried to process everything that just happened. Eventually, Hoseok pulled out, leaving Yoongi gaping wide and leaking with his cum.
Yoongi felt empty. But not just because Hoseok had pulled out.
“Nooo,” Yoongi whined. Tears slipped down his cheek as he tried to crawl into Hoseok’s lap. But it was useless. His limbs were jelly, and his hips and legs ached. All he could do was grab onto Hoseok’s chest and cry, “Keep going. I’ll be a good boy for you, I promise, Seok-ah.”
Hoseok chuckled at him and pressed a gentle kiss against his forehead, “You are a good boy. But you need to be able to function tomorrow. And, if we don’t stop now, they’re going to have to pull me off of you with a crowbar.”
“I guess it’s for the better,” Yoongi pouted.
“So how did your first time getting your pretty little cunt fucked feel,” Hoseok asked.
“I feel like I got a train ran through me. I really liked it though. Don’t be surprised if I’m begging for it all the time from now on,” Yoongi giggled. He reached down to his thighs, scooping up a bit of Hoseok’s cum. “I really liked getting filled with cum. I felt like I was being filled to the brim, and you just kept pushing it deeper inside.”
The air between them changed. Yoongi didn’t know how, but the sudden shift was palpable.
Hoseok’s entire body tensed underneath Yoongi. He tried to hide the panic on his face as he asked, “Yoongi, you’re on birth control, right? They gave that to you?”
Yoongi knew what Hoseok wanted the answer to be. But he didn’t even know what birth control was. He and Hoseok locked eyes. The answer was immediately visible on Yoongi’s face.
“What…what does birth control do?”
Hoseok took in a deep breath, holding his head in his hands as he replied, “It keeps you from getting pregnant. And I fucked up.”
Yoongi blinked at Hoseok in confusion.
And then it hit him.
“Wait…pregnant,” Yoongi asked. He felt his heart and his breathing start to speed up, his eyes filling with tears again as fear pushed away every last bit of happiness in his body. “Did I do something wrong? I’m going to have a baby?”
Hoseok stood up, grabbing some clothes for the both of them. He threw a clean shirt towards Yoongi as he reached for something that looked like a box with a lot of numbers. He put on a pair of pajama pants and pressed a combination of numbers. He didn’t answer Yoongi. But it didn’t matter. Yoongi wouldn’t have heard him anyways.
He spoke to somebody through the box, staring at his wall nervously as he asked to get emergency birth control delivered to him as quickly as possible.
Yoongi put on the shirt and watched him. But Hoseok just looked like a big blob through Yoongi’s tears. Eventually, Hoseok said bye to the person. He ran back to Yoongi as quickly as he could, pressing kisses to Yoongi’s face.
Hoseok laced their fingers together, finally saying, “It’s going to be okay. I’m so sorry, petal. You didn’t do anything wrong. This was my fault.”
“I don’t want to have a baby,” Yoongi cried into Hoseok’s arms. “I don’t want to bring a life into this world. I’m not ready. And I don’t want to have to leave it, Seok-ah.”
“And you won’t have to. Everything will be okay. I promise,” Hoseok whispered. He scooped Yoongi up in his arms, holding him close as he carried him to the bathroom. “Don’t worry about anything, Yoongi. Someone is coming to help right now.”
Yoongi couldn’t stop crying and panicking for a long time.
He cried as Hoseok set him down in the tub. He cried as Hoseok wiped him down and tried to clean him up. He cried as Hoseok dried him down and gave him a fresh change of clothes. And he cried as Hoseok tucked him into the bed.
By the time the servant came, Yoongi was out of tears to cry. His entire body felt light and his hands were shaky and he couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if he actually did get pregnant. Yoongi thought about how painful the pregnancy would be, he thought about how he and Hoseok would have to lie about who the father was, he thought about how he’d have to abandon it for somebody else to have, and he thought about how painful it would be to leave it.
Yoongi wasn’t ready to abandon a kid. But he wasn’t ready to raise one practically all on its own either. Hoseok wouldn’t be able to help him. They probably wouldn’t even be able to tell the kid who its father was. And Yoongi didn’t want to be a part of raising the next generation of dictators.
Hoseok walked over to Yoongi with a glass of a mysterious liquid, and a cup of water.
“This is going to taste really bad, but you have to drink as much of it as you can, okay,” Hoseok said. His voice was gentle, but it was barely able to calm Yoongi down.
Hoseok pressed the glass with the green liquid up to Yoongi’s mouth and tipped the glass back just a little. The bitterness hit Yoongi’s tongue, making him gag. But he kept going anyway.
“Good boy,” Hoseok muttered. He pulled the empty glass away from Yoongi’s lips, replacing it with the water. “All you’ve got to do is not throw up, and everything’s going to be okay.”
Yoongi sat back against Hoseok’s bed, the overwhelming bitterness making him feel nauseous, “I feel like I’m going to throw up already.”
Hoseok lifted Yoongi’s back up, moving the pillows around so that Yoongi could sit more comfortably. He laced their fingers together as he moved to sit right next to him. He seemed less worried now as he held Yoongi’s hand with both of his.
“Then talk to me. Tell me about something,” Hoseok hummed.
Yoongi glanced over at Hoseok, leaning over so that his shoulder and head rested against Hoseok’s, “What do you want me to talk about?”
“How about…the future,” Hoseok suggested. “What do you want for the future.”
“I don’t know. I’ve never really been in a situation where I can afford to think beyond the next day or two,” Yoongi immediately replied. His eyes caught Hoseok’s, his heart immediately jumping for joy at the sight of the person who was his home now. “I guess…I want to be with you. I want to live with you and go on adventures whenever we want and try out your recipes together, far far away from here. And I want to go back to the Principle, far away from here.”
Hoseok gripped Yoongi’s hand tighter, his eyebrows scrunching together worriedly as he asked, “Why would you want to go back? You have everything you could ever need here. Down there, you were just struggling, living off of a dagger and whatever scraps you could find.”
“Down there, I was struggling, but I didn’t feel like an idiot. I was smart. I survived. And it was my home,” Yoongi muttered. He closed his eyes, resisting the urge to throw up the medicine.
It was already fucking up his stomach. But Yoongi didn’t want to disappoint Hoseok, and he really didn’t want to have to drink it again. So he just focused on the feeling of Hoseok’s hands against his and the thought of being back there.
“I’ll take you back one day. I promise,” Hoseok sighed. “Just promise you’ll come back with me.”
Yoongi smiled to himself as he replied, “Of course. You’re my home now. And I know where my best chance of survival is. Even if I wished I could live like this and live in the Principle at the same time.”
“But would it ever feel like the Principle you know,” Hoseok asked.
“No,” Yoongi confidently replied. “But the only way it could ever be the same is if I never met you.”
They both were silent for a moment — Hoseok thinking about what life would be like if they’d never met and Yoongi thinking about how to stop being nauseous without throwing up all over Hoseok’s bed.
“You wanna know what I want in the future,” Hoseok asked.
Yoongi opened his eyes to look at Hoseok and nodded.
“I want to live a small, intimate life with you. Private, but not in the way we’re private now. And, as much as I love this place, I want to get away from the Capitol. I want to just spend my days cooking and caring for you and taking you on dates. No politics, no issues to try to get a useless congress to fix. Just…us,” Hoseok sighed wistfully. He gripped Yoongi’s hand tight as sat up to press a kiss to Yoongi’s forehead. “And no kids. At least, right now, I can’t see myself having one for any other reason than to continue the bloodline.”
Yoongi smiled to himself as he imagined what Hoseok was thinking of. It both surprised Yoongi and didn’t catch him off guard at all that they wanted so much of the same things in life. Almost everything about them was compatible. And the things that weren’t weren’t a total dealbreaker for Yoongi.
Maybe one day, they would. And maybe Hoseok was already starting to feel the cracks. But Yoongi was sure that it was nothing they couldn’t handle.
“I don’t want a kid either. There’s no point, really. I’d just get attached to it, and I’d never be able to leave it,” Yoongi sighed. “But I’d never be able to take care of it by myself.”
Hoseok pressed a few more kisses to Yoongi’s face, his voice warm and comforting as he replied, “I don’t want it either but, if you did have one, then you wouldn’t have to take care of it by yourself. I’d be there. And you wouldn’t have to leave it if you didn’t want to, petal. We don’t abandon babies up here. Even if you did decide to give it up, we’d give it to my sister. No matter what, everything would be okay.”
“You’re great at this comforting thing,” Yoongi hummed. “The options don’t sound so bad when you put them like that.”
Hoseok looked over at the clock, smiling as he nodded, “Speaking of kids we don’t want. Congratulations. You’ve made it through 20 minutes without throwing up, petal. We don’t have to think about this ‘kids’ things anymore.”
Yoongi let out a long sigh of relief. He turned his body onto its side so that he could tuck himself underneath Hoseok’s arm. Yoongi held onto Hoseok’s chest, laying his head down on Hoseok’s chest. The nausea was still there, but Yoongi felt safe enough to curl up in Hoseok’s arms for comfort.
The moment Yoongi crawled towards Hoseok, Hoseok scooped him up and pressed kisses all over his face.
After all of the stress in the past week and especially tonight, the small action made Yoongi smile. His cheeks flushed pink and his entire body melted into a pile of jelly again. But it was okay this time. Because nothing worse could happen now.
“You wanna get on some regular birth control? You just have to take it once every morning, and the regular kind is in a pill so it doesn’t taste as bad,” Hoseok offered. He pressed a kiss to Yoongi’s cheek, mumbling against his skin, “I have a feeling I’m going to be railing you every other night, so it might be easier than taking the emergency one every time.”
Yoongi closed his eyes and sleepily nodded, “Can you take care of that?”
“I’ll take care of everything you need. Rest well, okay? You have a long day tomorrow.”
They fell asleep just like that, with Yoongi holding onto Hoseok like he was going to disappear if he didn’t hold on tight enough.
Yoongi hoped Hoseok never slipped away from him.
True to Hoseok’s words, Yoongi couldn’t walk the next morning.
In fact, it took him a couple of days to physically recover from everything that had happened. But, little did Yoongi know, the physical part wasn’t the hardest. The stress that they had been put under that night proved to be the most difficult thing to move on from.
Life carried on as usual for them. Only now, they sought each other out in the hallways, falling into whatever room they could get into to sneak in a few kisses in between their busy workloads. Hoseok was still as busy as ever. But Yoongi found that some anonymous power had reduced the amount of filming he had to do to just a few hours a day.
Yoongi visited Hoseok’s office for the first time in the weeks following the start of their relationship. The very first time they were inside of it together, they quickly realized that it was yet another private space.
Their hushed conversation and careful kisses quickly turned into locked doors and Yoongi getting bent over Hoseok’s desk. The fear of being caught was exciting.. But Yoongi still couldn’t help but feel a sense of fear in the back of his head. After everything was done, he sat in Hoseok’s chair, unable to shake the memory of what happened their first time together.
Yoongi was on birth control now. A pill in the morning, every morning that Hoseok watched him take. But the memory of the overwhelming fear and the immediate sense of panic making him crash back down to earth still haunted Yoongi.
Hoseok was understanding. He always was. Yoongi may not have known what a good lover was supposed to look like, but he couldn’t imagine having a better one. Hoseok immediately set Yoongi up on the couch in his office, giving him a blanket and water and some books to make himself comfortable with. He even sat with Yoongi for as long as he could, filling out paperwork right next to him.
It was gradually getting easier. And, at the same time, it was getting harder to hide their relationship.
They quickly realized that, while people in the Capitol were tight-lipped, so many people knowing their secret could only end up with a rumor about the future president sleeping with the whore from the Principle. And, if Hoseok were to have to marry someone else for political reasons, the public’s belief in that marriage wouldn’t be very strong if half of the people working in the Capitol knew that Hoseok was in love with Yoongi.
It was a shitty situation, but Yoongi and Hoseok had to become extra careful. Hoseok selected a handful of guards and servants that he felt could be trusted — Yoongi’s hair dresser, Seokjin amongst them — and set them up with a code phrase specifically for things related to their relationship.
When they went to the park, the guards scanned the area for people or cameras. When they went swimming together in the lake, the guards went first and made sure there wasn’t anybody lurking in the woods besides them. The only times they weren’t completely isolated by the guard’s work was when they went to the public spaces together.
It was hell not being able to hold Hoseok’s hand as they walked through the marketplace. But it was even worse pretending to be doing this for a PR boost.
For the next few days, the newspapers ran stories about how Hoseok and his champion were still close and maintained a good relationship with each other. Yoongi had to laugh when he read the article. The article seemed to think that Yoongi was living in the Inner City, occasionally visiting to catch up with his friend, Hoseok.
If only they knew that Yoongi rode Hoseok’s face right after that. Yoongi wondered to himself what kind of headlines that would make.
“Put down the paper and have a drink with me,” Hoseok called out.
Yoongi sat down next to Hoseok, folding the newspaper back up and leaving it on the table for whoever else was in here to find. He sat on the couch, his legs dangled over Hoseok’s legs as he asked, “Did you think that you’d be spending your 23rd birthday in the Principle?”
Hoseok handed Yoongi a glass of wine, pulling Yoongi in closer as he shook his head, “Not at all. But I couldn’t be happier that I am.”
Yoongi took a sip of the wine, smiling to himself as he looked around the train. It looked exactly the same as it did when Yoongi first got on. But it was so different now that Yoongi knew what a train was and what a life of luxury was like.
“You’re just happy because I’m all dressed up for you,” Yoongi giggled. He played with the hem of his dress, teasing Hoseok with it.
It was very similar to a strappy one that he’d worn when he was still a champion, but it was just different enough that Yoongi didn’t get vivid flashbacks of that time in their lives. It still wasn’t long by any means, and Hoseok was definitely able to get a peek at Yoongi’s lacy panties. But it was really like a gift to Hoseok.
Yoongi didn’t mind. He felt pretty in it.
“Can’t wait to unravel you when we get home,” Hoseok smiled. His fingers played with Yoongi’s inner thighs absentmindedly as he asked, “We’ve changed a lot from the last time we were on this train together.”
“A hell of a lot,” Yoongi chuckled. “You have my knife?”
Hoseok dug deep into his pockets, pulling out Yoongi’s dagger with a little grin on his face, “Of course I do. Be careful though. It’s my most precious possession. Given to me by a certain petal I hold very dear to my heart.”
“Shut up. You’re so cheesy,” Yoongi blushed embarrassedly.
He grabbed the dagger as the train rolled to a stop. Yoongi tucked it into the waistband of his skirt and quickly pressed a kiss to Hoseok’s cheek before he scattered away shyly. Hoseok immediately jumped up to follow him, but he kept his distance as Yoongi exited the station.
As Yoongi walked back down the tunnels they’d walked through before, Hoseok couldn’t help but smile. He was just now noticing how cute Yoongi was. Every little mannerism and facial expression made Hoseok’s heart flutter. And every little jump made Hoseok’s dick ache a little in his pants.
Hoseok was, more than anything, impressed that Yoongi remembered which way to go though. There were a few times where Hoseok was sure Yoongi would get the directions wrong. But he didn’t slip up or hesitate even once.
It left Hoseok wondering just how observant Yoongi really was.
They finally reached daylight as Yoongi turned right. Hoseok caught up with Yoongi as they stepped out into the city, coming out from the very same doorway they first entered from.
Yoongi took in a deep breath, soaking in the stench of the dirt and grime and rotting carcasses with a smile on his face, “God, I missed this smell. Come on, Seok-ah. If we stay in here for too long, we’re going to get found by the soldiers.”
“Lead the way,” Hoseok nodded.
Yoongi took Hoseok’s hand, leading him out onto the sidewalk. In the middle of the road, there were soldiers. They marched up and down in an even order. Barely anyone was able to even make eye contact with them.
“That one in the back,” Yoongi whispered. He let go of Hoseok’s hand, subtly gesturing for Hoseok to go up to him. “Charm him and talk to him. I’ll take the bread, we’ll find a place to hide out for a bit, and we can enjoy a quick lunch break before we have to do some other things.
Hoseok looked down at Yoongi confusedly and cocked his head, “What do I say when I talk to him? Do I channel my inner-Yoongi and unlock my powers of seduction? Or can I just strike up a casual conversation? I’m not quite sure what you mean.”
“Talk about something. I don’t think you’ll have to. But don’t be too friendly or make it look like you’re trying to make conversation. They’ll immediately recognize you as a threat who must be planning on doing something,” Yoongi hummed.
He tapped his fingers against the brick wall next to him, waiting patiently for Hoseok to go ahead. But Hoseok looked confused. He just stood there, not moving a muscle as the soldiers passed by them. His face was blank, but Yoongi could see exactly what he was worried about.
“Here, I’ll go. And you can see how easy it is,” Yoongi smiled. He pressed a kiss to Hoseok’s cheek before he hopped out onto the street.
It had been months, but Yoongi felt a rush of normalcy return to him as he walked on the badly paved roads. He looked around at the same buildings he’d always known. The only thing that had changed was the large, towering screens that lined the edges of the skies and the small, glowing screens placed behind windows.
Yoongi walked by one of the soldiers, a little bounce in his step as he walked. He felt a hand grab his wrist.
“What is a pretty little thing like you doing around here? You’re cleaned up real nice,” the soldier hummed. He pulled Yoongi closer to him, his teeth bared like an ugly set of fangs as he smirked at Yoongi.
Yoongi looked the soldier up and down. His eyes immediately found the soldier’s bag, but he didn’t let them linger there. Instead, he looked back up at the man and batted his eyelashes, “I could ask you the same thing. What a wonder a nice soldier getting me into a brothel does, isn’t it?”
“Are you willing to have another night? Because I’d love to spend one with you.”
Yoongi shook his head, giving the soldier the sweetest smile he possibly could, “I don’t know. I feel a little tired. But, if you happen to be marching around here again, I’m usually around that corner.”
The soldier simply nodded at Yoongi, turning around to catch up with his group.
The moment that the soldiers were out of sight, Hoseok came running to Yoongi. His arms wrapped around Yoongi tightly. But the suffocating hug made Yoongi smile — even if it attracted the eyes of people around them.
People in the Principle didn’t stare for nothing.
Yoongi forgot in the midst of being with Hoseok that this wasn’t normal. But he didn’t mind at all.
“I hate seeing you flirting with other people,” Hoseok sighed. He held on tight to Yoongi, breathing him in as his bout of jealousy calmed down. “You didn’t even get his food.”
Yoongi stepped away from Hoseok, holding up a warm loaf of bread, “Let’s go find a place to sit. I know a few places.”
Hoseok laced their hands together, letting Yoongi lead him out of the street.
They squeezed into the back alleys together. There were a few children and people crammed into the alleys, feasting on whatever shit they could find on the ground. Yoongi didn’t pay any mind to it, but Hoseok looked beyond disturbed. Yoongi couldn’t remember seeing so much disgust on his face.
Yoongi looked up at a railing, grabbing onto it firmly with his free hand. He handed the bread off to Hoseok and climbed up just enough for Hoseok to get up as well.
“Don’t look at them, Seok-ah. Just focus on me.”
Hoseok looked up at Yoongi, a teasing smile spreading across his face as he climbed up, “Well, that’s pretty easy. This looks a lot more appetizing than…whatever they’re eating.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes and pretended to try to kick Hoseok off of the railing. But he couldn’t help but smile as he replied, “Happy birthday, Seok-ah. Thanks so much for comparing my ass to a rotting bird corpse.”
“Actually I was contrasting. But, if you wanna become bratty, that’s fine,” Hoseok laughed. He reached up, tapping the bottom of Yoongi’s shoe to get his attention with a smile. “When your birthday rolls around, I’ll take you back to that lake. I promise I’ll stop pulling you in.”
Yoongi hopped up off the railing. He landed on the edge of the building’s roof, sitting down right in front of the end of the rails. He spread his legs and bent over to watch as Hoseok climbed up to him.
A hand grabbed on tight to Yoongi’s thigh. Hoseok pulled himself up until his shoulders were right underneath Yoongi’s knees.
“You know, I don’t actually know when my birthday is. I choose a random time of the year when I feel like I’ve already turned another year old, and I treat myself to a potato with salt,” Yoongi sighed. He let his hands find Hoseok’s hair as Hoseok pressed kisses to his thighs. “Don’t feel bad, Seok-ah.”
Hoseok crawled up a little more and leaned over the edge of the roof to press kisses all over Yoongi’s face. A little frown twisted his features as he replied, “But I do. My family’s the reason why you don’t know what a flower is or when your birthday is. I promise, when we get back home, we’re picking out a day and I’m treating you like a princess.”
“You already do,” Yoongi smiled.
Something in him beamed at the admission from Hoseok that his family was to blame. But Yoongi didn’t point it out. Instead, he just kept the small shred of hope to himself and locked away inside a little glass box in his heart.
Right next to where Hoseok was.
Yoongi sat down on the top of the roof, Hoseok quickly climbing over to follow him. The sun was covered by clouds and the air was chilly, but the rooftop was warm like a blanket. Yoongi could have fallen asleep on it if not for the fact that they couldn’t spend Hoseok’s birthday napping on a rooftop.
Hoseok leaned forwards, capturing Yoongi’s lips in an impassioned kiss. Yoongi almost fell back against the floor as Hoseok leaned into him.
He couldn’t help but think that surviving in the Principle might not have been so bad if he had Hoseok by his side. Maybe it was inevitable that everyone would leave, that it was impossible to support yourself let alone two people in this city. But Yoongi would have been willing to try for moments like these.
Secretly, Yoongi wished that Hoseok was another fucked up person from the Principle.
Everything would be so much easier if he was equally as powerless as Yoongi. Maybe they could have actually had a realistic chance at making it together.
Hoseok’s hand slipped around Yoongi’s waist, hitting Yoongi’s dagger out of the waistband. Yoongi heard it clatter on the floor right next to his hand as he asked, “You have that loaf still?”
“Of course,” Hoseok replied. He took out the loaf of bread and handed it to Yoongi.
It wasn’t quite as warm anymore, but it was still easy to cut. Yoongi tore into it, dividing it into methodical chunks. He didn’t even realize that he’d cut them out into a week’s portions for himself until Hoseok pointed out that he cut out three pieces.
“Remember on the train? When you told me I didn’t have to ration anymore,” Yoongi asked as he cut the third slice a little smaller. “It’s so funny to think that you denied wanting to fuck me when you were practically begging a week later to let you eat me out.”
Hoseok rolled his eyes, grabbing one of the pieces of bread with a little scoff, “Okay, I think begging is going a bit far. But I have to admit that I was lying right to your face.”
“Who could’ve guessed,” Yoongi smiled. He rolled his eyes and grabbed his own piece of the bread as he crawled over to sit with Hoseok.
They sat there together for what seemed like hours, their legs tangled together as they ate their bread. They didn’t do much once the bread was finished. They simply stared out at the top of the skyline, ignoring the gigantic screens displaying reruns of interviews from the games, and talked.
Every now and then, when their faces appeared on the screens, they’d watch and laugh at themselves. When they got tired of laughing with each other, they laid back, staring up at the sky right in front of their noses.
“Would you have stayed here if it weren’t for me,” Hoseok asked.
Yoongi looked over at him, that warm feeling filling his chest again as he shrugged, “I have no idea what I would’ve done if I’d had you. But, right now, I think we should get a move on if we want to find somewhere warm before the sun sets.”
“Back down the railing?”
Yoongi stood up, wiping the dust off of his clothes as he walked over to the side of the buildings. He glanced over the edge, immediately finding what he was looking for.
A pipe, busted up and kind of rusty but running all the way down the side of the building.
“Nope.” Yoongi replied. “There’s a more fun way down.”
Yoongi turned around, grabbing the edge of the building with his hands as he stepped down. He wrapped his legs around the pipe and smiled at Hoseok’s concerned face peering down at him.
“No way I’m doing that. I’m going to die of tetanus,” Hoseok frowned.
Yoongi slid down just a little, making room for Hoseok as he giggled, “That’s a funny word. If you’re scared, go back down the railing. I’ll meet you there.”
Before Hoseok could react, Yoongi slid down the rest of the way with a thrilled squeal. In just a few seconds, he was all the way down the side of the building and sliding off of the top of a dumpster that looked even more rusty than the pipe did.
But Hoseok refused to let Yoongi think he was a wimp. So he grabbed onto the pole and closed his eyes as he let his grip loosen.
Yoongi didn’t think he’d ever heard someone scream so loudly out of pure horror. He didn’t even have to see Hoseok’s face to know that the supposed highly trained and experienced military man was scared out of his mind by a little rust and height.
Hoseok looked shell shocked as he got back down onto the ground.
“Did they not train you for this,” Yoongi giggled. He pressed kisses all over Hoseok’s face, Hoseok’s shock physically melting away with every kiss. Yoongi could feel him start to relax again as he realized he was okay. “I won’t make you do anything else like that, okay? Let’s see if we can find a brothel that’ll take us in.”
Hoseok stumbled along as Yoongi dragged him out of the alleyway, seemingly more confused than when he first arrived. Yoongi supposed he was always this confused. Hoseok just wasn’t comfortable enough yet to express it.
“A brothel? Wouldn’t that require us to…you know. Have sex with someone,” Hoseok asked.
Yoongi led him off of the road they were on, further away from the main road, and smiled at him, “It does. And it’s going to be me. A few of them know me well enough to let me get in if I have a man with me if he pays up.”
Hoseok took out a piece of the bread from his pockets, holding it out to Yoongi quietly.
“Exactly,” Yoongi nodded proudly. “You’re catching on well, Seok-ah. If I didn’t know you, I would’ve guessed you’ve been living here for at least a few months.”
“Hasn’t everyone who’s here been here for a decade,” Hoseok frowned.
Yoongi shook his head as they passed by some people begging for scraps of food, “A lot of people come in here at some point or another. Either to find work or food. They hate the regime, but people need some sort of system in place. So they figure it’s not going to be terrible to sneak in. And they end up getting trapped here the rest of their life. No way out.”
Unless you were taken to play a game of death by some rich asshole from the Capitol for a televised tenth year anniversary event. Yoongi was just lucky that his rich asshole was actually the sweetest man he’d ever met.
Hoseok looked back at where they came, his eyes trailing up to the faint outline of walls in the distance behind the skyline, “Nobody should be alive outside those walls. They should have all died years ago. There’s no way they’d survive.”
Yoongi didn’t say anything. Instead, he kept walking in silence to let Hoseok dwell on the reality of things down in the Principle.
It was just past sunset when they finally reached a brothel. They were hard to come by in the city. Honestly, there weren’t a lot of them since all of the buildings were destroyed. And barely anybody could afford to pay the Capitol what it took to rent one of the structures that remained.
“Inside here. Don’t say anything, look like you’re really horny for me. I imagine you don’t have to try,” Yoongi chuckled. He switched his grip on Hoseok’s hand so that it looked like Hoseok was holding onto him and pushed the doors open.
It was more crowded and rowdy than Hoseok expected. Hoseok certainly didn’t expect the number of soldiers he saw inside, making conversations with the guys and girls in plainclothes. They all were quite clean. Hoseok would have been surprised by that, but he remembered Yoongi telling him that brothels were one of the few places where you could get a shower in the Principle.
A girl stopped Yoongi in his tracks, asking him something completely inaudible to Hoseok over the loud noise of everyone talking and laughing. But it wasn’t long before she smiled and let Yoongi pass with the piece of bread they had now in her hands.
Yoongi felt Hoseok’s breath on his neck as he asked, “Why is this place so much nicer than everywhere else?”
“Because soldiers are their biggest customers. They pay with Inner City money, pull Capitol favors, and suddenly brothels are the one place where there’s clean beds and showers,” Yoongi sighed. He led Hoseok up some stairs, walking up a few flights as he continued to explain, “They’ll let anyone in. But only if you have someone to hook up with and a payment. But it’s a lot cheaper than it is for soldiers.”
They stopped at the second flight of stairs. Yoongi approached the room directly in front of the stairwell, opening it with a little key that Hoseok didn’t see him grab before.
Yoongi had to admit that, after having his own room in the Capitol and being in Hoseok’s for so long, the rooms in the brothels weren’t nearly as comforting. But Yoongi couldn’t help but feel his chest warm as he thought of the nights he’d spent in these beds, finally being able to feel warmth underneath the blankets.
He sat down on the bad, flopping down with a long but content sigh.
“Wait, does this mean you’ve hooked up with a lot of people before,” Hoseok asked as he laid down next to Yoongi. The bed was stiff, the mattress basically stuffed with two wood boards and a bunch of old fabric. But it was just enough to hold the two of them close together. “Because they’re familiar with you here and in other brothels and you have to bring people to get in and—”
Yoongi pressed a finger to Hoseok’s lips, giggling as he cut him off, “Stop right there. Yes, I did what I had to do to keep surviving while I was bouncing around camps. And no. None of them were as good as you.”
“That’s good to hear,” Hoseok smiled. He grabbed Yoongi’s waist, pulling him halfway onto his body in a big bear hug. Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh out loud as Hoseok pressed kisses all over his neck and the bed squeaked at the tiny movement. Hoseok pulled the strap of Yoongi’s dress to the side with a hum, “Still got this on you, huh?”
Yoongi looked down at the hickey on his shoulder. He knew there were a lot more underneath the dress and under a few layers of makeup. He knew that Hoseok had a lot too. But he just smiled and nodded.
They sat there for a while, cuddling and kissing each other like they weren’t sitting in a place that could be raided at any point in time by a gang or some soldiers. Although, Yoongi could have guessed that Hoseok probably didn’t know about that part of living in the Principle.
“Good job. You’ve survived like 15 percent of what happens every day in the Principle,” Yoongi smiled. He stroked the side of Hoseok’s face and yawned, “You didn’t even get bitten by a cannibal once.”
“Please don’t tell me you were a cannibal,” Hoseok frowned. He held Yoongi’s head close to his chest, clearly a little weary as he asked, “You’re joking about that, right?”
Yoongi shook his head, gently nipping at Hoseok’s shoulder in the exact spot where he’d bitten him when they first fucked, “Didn’t you know that’s actually why I made you fall in love with me? You guys are so delicious and meaty, just one of you can last me weeks before I’m finished with you.”
Hoseok laid his head back against the pillow with a long sigh, “I’d better last you more than a few weeks.”
“Of course. You’ll last me a lifetime if all goes well,” Yoongi smiled. He sat up a little, crouching over Hoseok’s body in order to press a kiss to Hoseok’s cheek. “Happy birthday, Seok-ah.”
Hoseok pulled Yoongi in closer by the waist, tilting his head so that he could catch Yoongi’s lips as he pulled away. At just the last second, Hoseok moved his hand up to pull Yoongi’s head back in.
Their lips pressed together. Warmth filled Yoongi’s body as they kissed, his heart lighting on fire. Yoongi felt like he was getting electrocuted. The static in his veins made every touch of Hoseok’s skin against his feel like a shock. Hoseok was the only thing that felt normal about this all.
Feeling this sort of love while he was back home was something Yoongi could have never imagined. It almost felt wrong being so happy in the Principle. The Principle wasn’t a place designed for happiness to thrive. It was the place where dreams came to die and youth was stolen in less than a day from even those who tried to cling onto it.
Hoseok made Yoongi feel like a kid again. He made Yoongi believe in that giddy happiness that was so powerful you couldn’t help but kick your feet and jump up and down. Hoseok made Yoongi curious about the world again. He made Yoongi learn to trust people again.
“This is the best, fucking birthday ever,” Hoseok smiled into Yoongi’s mouth.
Hoseok also made Yoongi feel immature again. He made Yoongi feel things so much that it ended up overflowing. He made Yoongi jealous to the point of crying. He made Yoongi scared of the future and the possibility that there would be one without Hoseok. But Yoongi knew the beauty in getting to think about those things, and the beauty of knowing that Hoseok would always be there to reassure him that everything was going to be okay.
“I love you, petal. I actually…I actually wanted to give you something,” Hoseok grinned. He laid his head back, setting Yoongi down right next to him as he reached into his waistband. He unzipped the pocket sewn into it, pulling something out. “Hold your hand out.”
Yoongi followed Hoseok’s instructions, holding his right hand out for Hoseok to see. He watched as Hoseok slipped a silver ring on his ring finger. Most of it looked simple, but there seemed to be a very small lotus flower on it, encrusted with white gems. It looked expensive, and it looked out of place on Yoongi’s hand.
Especially coming from Hoseok.
“Seok-ah, I can’t…we can’t,” Yoongi hesitated.
He grabbed the ring, but Hoseok held his hand in place — refusing to let him slip it off.
Hoseok turned to look at Yoongi, a sad smile on his face as he nodded, “I know. But I want you to have it. Think of it like…a promise. No matter what happens in the future, I love you. And, even though we can’t get married, I dream that we are in the deepest, darkest corner of my heart. You’re it for me, I know it.”
Yoongi looked at the ring even closer. Only now, he couldn’t help but smile at it, “I love you so much, Seok-ah. And…just for the record, if we could get married, I would have said yes a million times over. You’re it for me too.”
They laid there together for a while, smiling at Yoongi’s ring together. They didn’t know it, but they were both quietly imparting their own wishes onto it. Yoongi wished that Hoseok didn’t have to take up his dad’s position and they could be free to live their dream life together. And Hoseok wished that, suddenly, being with Yoongi would be okay or that one of his plans to smooth it over with the public and his parents would become feasible.
“You know that, usually, you don’t give people things for your birthday. Especially not things this big,” Yoongi yawned. He nestled his head into the crook of Hoseok’s neck, smiling as he ran his thumb across the ring.
Hoseok looked down at Yoongi and closed his eyes as he replied, “It’s okay. Getting a day out with you and learning about where you came from was my gift. Now, sleep tight. We’ve gotta get up early in the morning and get back before anyone realizes we’re gone.”
Yoongi had gone back to the Principle with Hoseok exactly two times.
The first time, Yoongi had fallen asleep right as Hoseok was confessing his feelings.
And now, they were falling asleep together underneath the blankets, with a ring on Yoongi’s finger weaving their fates tightly together.
After their trip to the Principle together, it was getting harder and harder to hide that they were together.
Every minute of the day that they were together, all they wanted was to lace their fingers together or hold each other. They did it so much together when they were in private that, sometimes, it was hard to remember that they had to actively fight against their nature.
The ring was the hardest thing to explain. Of course people noticed it.
For an entire week, speculation surrounded Yoongi and who his mystery man was. Newspapers became gossip papers. And, of course, most of the theories centered around Hoseok being the man. Yoongi and Hoseok were thrown into meetings with Hoseok’s brother to figure out what they would do about the rumors.
That was when it was broken to Hoseok’s family that they were dating.
The reactions were missed. Hoseok’s sisters seemed sad, immediately understanding the weight of what their relationship meant and how difficult it would be moving forward. The queen seemed to be a little excited at the prospect of Hoseok finding someone he was head over heels for. Half of Hoseok’s brothers were practically high-fiving him and patting him on the back for managing to date someone so desirable (the term “sexiest person in the world” was thrown around. The other half seemed a little hesitant to be supportive.
The President had the worst reaction out of all of them. He stood up without a word, storming out of the room.
The moment they got out of the meeting, Hoseok dragged Yoongi down to the garage. They got in Hoseok’s car and sped off on a drive to clear Hoseok’s head. Yoongi wasn’t even sure how long they drove. But it had to be far, because they completely passed the borders of the city.
Hoseok parked his car in a grassy meadow, far from civilization.
The moment they got a chance to breathe, Hoseok undid his seatbelt and leaned over. He rested his head on Yoongi’s lap. Hoseok wasn’t able to do anything but stare out into space.
“It’s okay, Seok-ah. Everything will be okay,” Yoongi hummed. He ran his fingers through Hoseok’s hair, watching the sun hit Hoseok's face. Hoseok’s tanned skin looked like it was glowing along with his white hair. Yoongi could see the black roots beginning to grow out.
Hoseok looked up at Yoongi, fiddling with Yoongi’s fingers on his stomach. His voice was thin as he replied, “No. It’s not. My father’s livid at me, my siblings all look at me like I’m a dying puppy, and I have to act like I’m in love with someone who's not you. My father…the President, I mean…he even threw out the idea of marrying her. I don’t get how you’re okay with all of this.”
“I’m not,” Yoongi quietly replied. “She’s the last person I want you acting like you’re in love with. And the last person I want you to marry. It makes my blood boil, and it makes me want to kill her. But…I’m the reason the problem started. And I'm the person who would be ruining everything you’ve been working so hard for.”
Hoseok pressed a kiss to Yoongi’s knuckles and started staring off into nothing again as he shook his head, “What if I ‘accidentally’ slipped up. Did something on camera that revealed the truth. Accidentally pay someone to tip off the paparazzi to go to the wrong room at just the right time. Something that would force them to admit that we’re together.”
“Don’t do something rash because of me, Seok-ah. I may not like…all of this. But I don’t want you to jeopardize your future for me,” Yoongi sighed. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to Hoseok’s lips as he smiled, “I think I know something that’ll cheer you up.”
Hoseok looked around Yoongi’s face like he was burning every little detail into his memory. He pressed his thumb against the chocolate chip on Yoongi’s cheek as Yoongi wrapped his legs around Hoseok’s hips. They pulled each other in for a kiss, Hoseok’s hands tangling in Yoongi’s hair.
They pulled apart from each other, their lips already swelling.
“You really wanna fuck me in a car,” Hoseok chuckled.
Yoongi rutted forward on Hoseok’s lap, letting out a strategic moan in Hoseok’s ear, “You fucked me in your office, didn’t you? And in the bathtub. And the pool. Are you just getting shy now?”
Hoseok’s face broke out into a smile as he pressed a kiss underneath Yoongi’s jaw. His eyes softened as he breathed in Yoongi’s scent. His thumb hooked on the waistband of Yoongi’s shorts, pulling them down just enough to expose his panties.
“You’re on the pill still,” Hoseok asked.
“I don’t have constant headaches, nausea, and soreness in my chest for nothing,” Yoongi replied.
They flipped over onto Hoseok’s car seats. Hoseok reached over to the front, turning a knob. Music started to blast from Hoseok’s car as he slipped his hand into Yoongi’s pants.
It wasn’t long before their clothes were abandoned on the floor of Hoseok’s car and the windows were entirely fogged up. With the exception of Yoongi’s hands pressed against the window.
Things were going to be okay.
The beginning of Hoseok’s PR relationship with Hwa-young marked the end.
At first, it wasn’t anything unmanageable. Of course, it hurt to see Hoseok kissing this woman and holding her close. But it was manageable. Hoseok refused to do anything more than what it took to convince the public.
The moment they stopped rolling the cameras, Hoseok ran to Yoongi and took him away to a private room. The most surprising thing to Yoongi was the fact that Hoseok didn’t even say anything. Hoseok simply held Yoongi close to him and buried his face into Yoongi’s neck until he felt better about it.
Honestly, Hoseok seemed to take the whole thing worse than Yoongi did.
And, of everyone, the public took it the worst. Everyone agreed that Hwa-young and Hoseok looked good together. But absolutely nobody believed that they were actually together.
That seemed to be what the President wanted, because suddenly Hoseok and Hwa-young were suddenly pushed together more and more. Hoseok suddenly had to spend more time on dates with Hwa-young than actually doing work.
Yoongi stopped tuning in at that point.
“Well, I trust you. And, honestly, it’s getting a little hard to watch,” Yoongi sighed. He folded up Hoseok’s shirt, placing it on a small pile of clothes that he’d been folding to calm himself down. “You guys have been on more dates than we have in over a month at this point. And she looks like she’s actually enjoying it.”
Hoseok leaned back against the foot of his bed, taking a sip of his wine as he absentmindedly traced little hearts onto Yoongi’s back, “I promise you, she’s not. We’re just…trying to make some fun in this shitty situation. It’s actually not terrible to talk to her.”
Yoongi’s heart ached. He put the clothes down and leaned back against Hoseok’s chest, turning his head so that Hoseok couldn’t look down at his face.
“Petal,” Hoseok quietly called out. He handed Yoongi the glass of wine, picking up Yoongi’s hand. His thumb rubbed across Yoongi’s ring as he whispered, “Please don’t be upset at me. You know how much I hate this too.”
Yoongi didn’t turn around, but he squeezed Hoseok’s hand gently as he replied, “I know. It’s just…hard to see you enjoying it. And it’s pretty clear that she doesn’t hate this nearly as much as you do. I’m being serious, I think she really does love you. And — I don’t know if you’ve noticed — but it’s the first time you’ve smiled in public. You didn’t even do that during…you know.”
Hoseok pressed a kiss to the back of Yoongi’s head and sighed, “I guess. But I practically tackled you in a hug in front of everyone in that arena. I’ve smiled more with you than I have in my entire life. And you’re the love of my life. If she wanted to make it real, I wouldn’t even give it a second thought.”
Yoongi felt a little weight lift off of his heart, but it still wasn’t enough to take the pain away. But…it was still something. And nothing would ever be enough as long as Hoseok’s relationship with Hwa-young kept going.
So this had to suffice. Even if Yoongi could feel a little, green eyed monster starting to chip away at his strength.
“Why can’t we be public again,” Yoongi quietly asked. He turned back around, looking up at Hoseok. Hoseok’s eyes seemed to be glassy as they locked with Yoongi’s. “I know it sounds stupid but…it’s just always just been a fact of life. We have to hide this. But why?”
Hoseok took in a deep breath, his sigh coming out shaky as he replied, “Well, for one, there’s the fact that I’m going to be President. My life has to be perfect, and by my father’s design. Whoever I date has to be someone who can be Queen. And…as much as it’s exciting for people to speculate about you and me, they’d never accept someone from the Principle being on the throne. My dad doesn’t like you either. He may be accepting of it right now, but it’s just because he thinks that we’re never going to make it. And then there’s the fact that I don’t want something as important as this to be messed with by the public opinion. You’re a celebrity, petal. And I’m a politician. Every aspect of our lives can be seen by anyone.”
“I get it,” Yoongi nodded. He leaned up and pressed a kiss to the corner of Hoseok’s lip.
They sat back, their bodies pressed against each other, Hoseok’s clothes all folded up neatly in front of their feet, and music playing from one of the records Hoseok was showing Yoongi before the conversation started.
At the restaurant, when I was still the one you want
Cross-legged in the dim light, everything was just right
I, I could feel the mascara run
You told me that you met someone
Glass shattered on the white cloth
Everybody moved on
“What’s this one called,” Yoongi asked.
Hoseok looked over at the record player on his bed, “Right where you left me.”
“It’s sad.”
“It is, isn’t it?”
“Do you think there’s a world where we get to just be in love?”
Hoseok looked over at Yoongi, his eyes definitely glassy now. A tear slipped down his cheek as he tried his best to smile, “I’m trying to figure out how to make that world this one. I’m trying my best, Yoongi.”
As bad as Yoongi’s heart hurt before, this was so much worse. Seeing Hoseok cry felt like someone was reaching into his chest and pulling out his heart by the handful. It was then that Yoongi understood exactly how Hoseok felt when he was upset.
“I’m sorry,” Yoongi murmured. He crawled into Hoseok’s lap, pressing kisses all over Hoseok’s face. “I didn’t mean to be upset at you, Seok-ah. None of this is your fault. I know you’re trying your best. And that’s enough, even when it means that we have to compromise what we want.”
Hoseok turned his face to kiss Yoongi deeply. Yoongi felt like his lips were going to bruise. But it was so sweet that Yoongi couldn’t even feel the pain. Hoseok leaned into the kiss so hard that they ended up tumbling onto the ground, Hoseok’s body on top of Yoongi’s and the glass of wine discarded spilling off of the carpet and onto the wood floor.
“I’m going to take more days off. Spend more time with you, take you on more dates,” Hoseok promised. “The amount of time I spend with her should never be more than with you.”
“And I’ll give you more credit for everything you do for me,” Yoongi replied. “Oh, and I’ll stop spilling your wine.”
Hoseok let out a relieved laugh, the melancholy feeling in the room dissipating the moment Hoseok’s smile returned. They laughed together, Hoseok throwing himself into Yoongi and Yoongi throwing his head back.
“Sounds good,” Hoseok smiled.
Yoongi held Hoseok’s head close to his body as he smiled back, “Sounds perfect.”
Hoseok stuck to his word.
Just two days later, Hoseok visited Yoongi during filming. He stayed there almost the whole day (he came an hour or so after a meeting with his dad in the morning) and did nothing but watch and cheer Yoongi on as he filmed a scene in the market.
Yoongi loved having Hoseok there, but he hated it so much at the same time. His eyes couldn’t help but flicker towards Hoseok every time they had nothing to look at and his heart pulled his focus far away from his co-star. They had to keep reshooting over and over and over again. Far more than they ever had to before.
Nobody seemed to realize that the problem was Hoseok. Except for Yoongi’s co-star.
Between takes, he looked between the both of them and smiled, “I think I get it.”
Yoongi never felt so happy to be seen. Because, if at least one person saw it, then that was one more person that believed in them.
As soon as they wrapped up for the day, Hoseok practically ran over to walk Yoongi back to his dressing room. He waited until they were inside with the door shut firmly to say, “It’s a wonder you get anything done at that pace.”
Yoongi took off his costume and rolled his eyes as he put on a large t-shirt, “Shut up. Why don’t I show up to your work, looking like an absolute slut. Let's see how much you can do when I’m around.”
“Since when was wearing a suit slutty,” Hoseok chuckled. He handed Yoongi a makeup wipe, watching as Yoongi wiped off all of the glitter and pink off of his face.
“It is when you’re wearing it,” Yoongi scoffed. “Why are you here? I thought you were working today.”
Hoseok pulled Yoongi in by his waist, pressing kisses all over Yoongi’s face as he pretended to be offended, “Wow. I come visit you while you’re working only to be called a slut and get questioned. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken the day off to visit you and take you out on a date.”
Yoongi’s face lit up as he heard Hoseok’s words. He rushed to his rack of clothes and ran to the privacy curtain. Hoseok didn’t even have time to tease Yoongi for going back there when it was just him in the room. Yoongi almost immediately ran back out in a pair of straight-legged slacks and one of Hoseok’s hoodies, practically jumping with joy and grinning from ear to ear.
He stood in front of Hoseok, his heart racing with excitement as he asked, “Where are we going?”
Hoseok thumbed at the sleeve of his hoodie, raising his eyebrows as he noted, “I thought I lost this weeks ago. Have you held it hostage this entire time?”
Yoongi’s face flushed with embarrassment. He hid himself in the oversized hoodie, smiling shyly as he admitted, “It was warm. And it smelled like you. It’s like how you wear my t-shirts even though they’re a bit too small for you.”
“The lesson here is that we look good in each other’s clothes. And that I need to give you more of mine before you steal them all,” Hoseok laughed. He grabbed Yoongi’s hand, lacing their fingers together. His smile grew a little bigger as he felt the cold metal of Yoongi’s ring hit his fingers. “Come on. It’s a surprise.”
They walked straight out of the market together, not even stopping to say bye to anyone. Hoseok practically steamrolled his way through the castle so that they didn’t have a problem with anyone stopping them.
It was funny seeing Hoseok so determined to get to the garage.
They got into Hoseok’s (recently deep cleaned) car. Hoseok pulled out of the garage, driving down the street in a direction they’d never gone before. Yoongi watched as the skyline got higher and higher and the buildings got more and more metal and glass looking as opposed to the marble structures of the rest of the Inner City.
Hoseok ran his fingers through Yoongi’s hair, playing with it absentmindedly as they rolled to a stop at a light.
“These are new,” Hoseok noted. He pinched the white highlights in Yoongi’s hair, admiring how the chunky highlights looked on Yoongi. “You look really good with them.”
Yoongi reached over to touch the top of Hoseok’s head and smiled, “I looked more and more like I’m from the Principle every day. I like your look too, with the roots growing out. I never realized your hair was black.”
“Really,” Hoseok smiled in disbelief. He ran his hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face as he looked at himself in the rearview mirror. He hit the gas, continuing down the straight path as he hummed, “I think I’m going to let it grow out for a little longer before I get it done again. I don’t know how much longer my dad’s going to let me keep it.”
“Fuck your dad. You should keep it. It makes us kind of match in a weird, reverse way,” Yoongi pointed out. He ran his fingers through Hoseok’s hair as he drove and made sure it stayed out of Hoseok’s face.
If Yoongi remembered correctly, celebrities would often hint at their dating lives by matching accessories, outfits, or anything with their partners. And the public would then take those hints and figure who the other person was. Apparently, they were like detectives. They worked so fast that it only took hours for them to figure out who the other person was.
Honestly, Yoongi was surprised it took so long for dating rumors to get picked up about them. Yoongi had been stealing and wearing Hoseok’s clothes for the longest time. And they’d been spotted together out and about quite a few times.
“You think if we make it obvious enough, the public will think I’m cheating on my girlfriend and my father will give up trying to do damage control,” Hoseok asked. He wasn’t looking at Yoongi because he was trying to park, but Yoongi didn’t need to see Hoseok’s face to know exactly what Hoseok was thinking.
Yoongi hit him on the backside of the head, causing him to reflexively slam down on the brake as Yoongi scolded him, “How many times do I have to tell you? Don’t even think about ruining your future for me.”
Hoseok took his foot off of the gas and pushed Yoongi away with his arm, “Okay. Ouch. I wasn’t being serious, I promise.”
“I’ll take that,” Yoongi smiled. He let Hoseok finish parking his car before he leaned over and pressed a kiss to Hoseok’s cheek. “By the way, how did that meeting with your dad go? I thought you said it would take up the whole day.”
Hoseok bit his lip nervously as he thought about what to say. Yoongi had a feeling that it was about the fake relationship. Hoseok’s dad probably wanted to up the ante of the relationship — maybe say that they were in a serious relationship now. So he didn’t push too far when Hoseok finally figured it out.
He looked at Yoongi and simply replied, “It was horrible. I walked out an hour in because I couldn’t do it anymore. Actually, it was kind of painful. I’d much rather be with you than listen to his crap.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. But I’m sure that, whatever it is, it’ll turn out okay,” Yoongi smiled reassuringly. “Don’t think about that though. Why don’t you tell me where we are.”
“We’re at a restaurant. It’s basically a place that serves you food that you choose. But this one is a bit fancier, so they don’t have as many choices as other places. The food here is good. I found it when Hwa-young and I were here,” Hoseok explained.
Yoongi felt sick to his stomach. And, to be honest, he didn’t want to go now that he knew Hoseok and Hwa-young had been there. It almost felt like Hoseok was recycling the entire date. But Hoseok seemed to be excited about it and he’d put in the effort to take them out this far from the Capitol. That had to mean something.
So, despite how much Yoongi hated the feeling of knowing Hoseok was taking him here because of Hwa-young, he swallowed it down and let Hoseok help him out of the car.
The moment they walked in the door, Yoongi realized that this wasn’t a private space. In fact, every single table was wide open for everyone else to be able to see them. And there were indeed eyes on them as they were walked to their table.
Yoongi wasn’t dumb. As soon as Hoseok sat down right next to them in the booth, he knew exactly what Hoseok was doing. And he didn’t like it. At all.
“You didn’t tell me this was going to be public,” Yoongi whispered. His eyes darted around the room, catching the eyes of everyone who was staring at them. They all seemed to recognize Hoseok, but they were the most interested in the champion from the games himself. “Seok-ah?”
Hoseok leaned back against the chair and grabbed onto Yoongi’s hand as he sighed, “Petal. You’re just going to have to trust me on this one.”
“Trust is feeling kind of hard right now when you decided not to tell me that you’re making our relationship public,” Yoongi scoffed. Hoseok’s hand seemed to burn against his skin, but it didn’t feel good anymore. Yoongi tore his hand away, placing it in his lap as the waiter came by.
Neither of them said a word to each other as they were given water and their orders were taken. And Hoseok didn’t dare try to touch Yoongi again.
“There’s a reason why I have to do this. I don’t want to lose you, petal. And this is the only way I can make sure that doesn’t happen. I know it’s hard right now, but please don’t be mad at me,” Hoseok begged. He turned to face Yoongi, but Yoongi didn’t look back at him. “It’s not going to hurt my future. It’s not going to hurt us.”
Yoongi was silent for a moment. His heart felt like it was being torn open from the inside, the piece of it that belonged to Hoseok a ticking time bomb. The fact that Hoseok would do something like this without talking to Yoongi first hurt so much.
It was even worse than the thought that Hoseok and Hwa-young were here together.
Yoongi never had to reevaluate whether or not he could trust someone before. Especially not for someone who he thought he could trust with his life, his well being…his heart. Yoongi felt disappointed, he felt hurt, he felt sad. But most of all, he felt angry.
It wasn’t just Hoseok’s life that was being affected by his decision. It was Yoongi’s too. And, frankly, Yoongi was getting a little tired of Hoseok continually making massive decisions that changed the course of his life when he had little to no control of what happened to him. Yoongi had thought that his relationship with Hoseok was something he had a say in. It wasn’t being sent to the games. It wasn’t his first time. It was a relationship with someone he loved who used to value his opinion and what he wanted.
“You know I’m really angry with you right now, right,” Yoongi mumbled. Tears began to sting at his eyes. But he held them in. Everyone was watching them, and Yoongi didn’t want them to think that Hoseok had hurt him. Even if that was exactly what he did.
Hoseok wrapped his arm around Yoongi’s waist and pulled him into a close half hug. He pressed a kiss just behind Yoongi’s ear with a quiet nod, “I know. And I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you beforehand.”
“I would’ve agreed if you’d just talked to me. I’m sure whatever reason you had was good,” Yoongi replied. He didn’t care if there were people watching them. He laid his head in Hoseok’s shoulder and sat there as still and cold as a marble statue.“But it doesn’t matter now, I guess.”
A wave of disappointment washed through him, and he knew Hoseok could hear it in his voice.
“We don’t have to stay any longer than this. Do you want to go home,” Hoseok suggested. He rubbed his thumb across Yoongi’s shoulder. Just like that, Yoongi’s pride melted away a little bit.
In all honesty, despite how disappointed and angry he was with Hoseok, he wanted to be with him. He wanted Hoseok to kiss him and stare at him like he was his world and spend all his time with him. And being mad hurt Yoongi just as much as it hurt Hoseok.
“We can stay,” Yoongi choked out. “But, when we get back in the car, you’re going to have to explain to me exactly why you thought this was a good idea. And I’m sleeping in my own bed tonight. Maybe even tomorrow night if I’m still mad.”
Hoseok looked sad at the idea of Yoongi not sleeping with him, but that was what it was supposed to make him feel. So Yoongi had to bite down the pain that came with the idea of Hoseok waking up to nobody else in bed with him and hope that Hoseok didn’t ask to change that term. Because, the moment that Hoseok asked, Yoongi would cave in.
Instead, it seemed like Hoseok understood that that was the consequence. He simply wrapped his hand around Yoongi’s face and stared at him. That fire that Yoongi always saw in Hoseok’s eyes was gone. Now, Hoseok just looked like he was drowning – lost in everything around him and in pain.
When did that change happen?
“Oh…Seok-ah,” Yoongi pouted. He placed his hand over Hoseok’s, the sleeve of his sweater covering the bottom half of their faces as they locked eyes. “Are you okay? You look…”
Hoseok simply squeezed Yoongi’s face tighter and took a deep, but hesitant breath, “I’m…honestly not doing that well. I feel like I’m surrounded by a minefield, and I lost the map of where they all are. I have no idea what I’m doing anymore. And all I can do is try to listen to the people who care about me. But they’re telling me to go in a direction that my gut says will be the end of us.”
Yoongi leaned, pressing a long kiss to Hoseok’s lips. He could hear a gasp throughout the restaurant. But he didn’t worry about it for now. That was a problem that they would have to figure out how to handle later.
Their kiss lasted for nearly six seconds. And Yoongi could feel his anger start to melt away a little. Hoseok tried to hang onto Yoongi’s lips as they pulled away. But it was inevitable that they had to break apart eventually. Just like that, both of their feelings seemed a little further away from them than before.
“Deep down in my heart, I want to follow you,” Hoseok admitted. “You keep telling me that I need to keep going in that fake relationship. And so does my father. But I want to go wherever you are. Even if it means giving up my future to live with you by the lake. We could marry each other. Then, I wouldn’t have to marry Hwa-young.”
The pieces clicked together instantaneously in Yoongi’s mind. A meeting with his father that was supposed to last all day. Hoseok setting up a situation where they would be seen in public. Mentioning Hwa-young.
Yoongi looked up at Hoseok, his voice shaking and his heart aching as he asked, “Seok-ah…are you going to have to marry her?”
“My dad likes us together. Likes her genetics. Thinks we’d be a strong match for an heir. Thinks that, once I’m married, I won’t have time to be with you anymore. He wanted to spend the entire day planning out the wedding with my mom, but I stormed out,” Hoseok sighed. He held onto Yoongi’s hand, his thumb immediately finding the ring on Yoongi’s finger. “I set this up and figured, if we were seen in public together, the illusion of Hwa-young and I being happily together would be broken. And he’d have to call it off.”
“That’s kind of stupid and kind of smart. And it’s really stupid not asking me because you could’ve checked with me at any time whether or not I was okay with that. But…why can’t you just get married to her? It’s not like it’s a real commitment,” Yoongi asked.
Hoseok shook his head, “It is a real commitment. He wants me to start a family with her. I won’t be allowed around anyone but her until she’s successfully conceived a baby. And once we have that baby, there will be no time for me to even sneak away to see you anymore. That’s just what comes with getting married in the Capitol.”
It was an understatement to say this was the worst night of Yoongi’s life. Just thinking about Hoseok marrying someone else, not being able to see each other for at least 9 months if they were lucky, Hoseok making love to someone who wasn’t him, and trying to sneak away to see him but being blocked from doing so…it was all so painful.
Yoongi wanted to ball up into his seat and cry. He could feel his heart tearing cleanly in two, and his eyes watering. All Yoongi could do was sit there and try to focus on Hoseok’s hands to anchor himself.
He wasn’t even mad at Hoseok anymore. That was how much pain Yoongi was in. It was blinding. Yoongi couldn’t feel anything else but panic and pain and grief for their relationship.
Suddenly, Yoongi was counting on Hoseok’s plan working.
He didn’t know what he’d do if it didn’t. Spend the rest of his days in the Capitol in pain? Sit back with no choice but to just watch as Hoseok slipped away from him along with every last bit of comfort and love he’d ever felt?
Before Yoongi could even ask, Hoseok quietly said, “They want it to happen in two to three weeks.”
“We only have two weeks left together,” Yoongi sniffled. He felt the tears start to pour out of his eyes as he thought about having to say goodbye to Hoseok. At best, it was temporary. Only for nine months. At worst, they’d never get to see each other again. And Hoseok would move on to Hwa-young.
Yoongi wished he still had his dagger. He would stab himself with it right now if he could. It would hurt a hell of a lot less.
Hoseok tried to wipe away Yoongi’s tears, but he was unsuccessful. Especially as he tried to reassure him, ‘It may be three. And at least we still have a little time.”
Once Yoongi started fully crying, they had to leave. Hoseok helped him up and wrapped his jacket around Yoongi’s body. Yoongi’s face was buried into Hoseok’s chest. The suit jacket hid Yoongi’s face from the people screaming at them, trying to figure out what was going on.
The drive back home was too short. Everything seemed to slip through Yoongi’s fingers so much quicker than before, and he hated it. The countdown clock now set on their relationship
He felt like he had been crying for less than an hour.
Hoseok said it was actually four.
BREAKING! PRESS RELEASE!
Congressman Jung Hoseok engaged to Congressman Choi Hwa-young.
This news comes straight from our esteemed President Jung, just hours after Congressman Jung is spotted in a restaurant with beloved champion, Min Yoongi.
As the days went by, it felt like Yoongi was losing more and more time.
He was in pain. All of the time. He cried for days and days until he got so dehydrated that he couldn’t anymore. Yoongi couldn’t bring himself to do anything. Not even get out of his bed. The only thing he could think about was the fact that he and Hoseok wouldn’t be able to be together anymore.
It wasn’t something that they talked about. But there was a mutual understanding that they wouldn’t be able to keep going with their relationship once Hoseok got married.
Having a moratorium on being with the love of your life was incredibly emotionally draining.
The first few days, Hoseok spent as much time as he could sitting with Yoongi and trying to comfort him and enjoy some small moment together in between being forced into wedding planning meetings. They kissed and watched movies in Yoongi’s room. But it was incredibly difficult for either of them to pretend like everything was okay.
As the next week passed by, Hoseok started appearing less and less. He still tried whenever he could. He slept in Yoongi’s room most nights and often popped his head in with some flowers to try to cheer Yoongi up. But he almost always came late at night or very early in the morning when Yoongi was asleep.
The one time they did manage to catch a moment of time together, Hoseok looked at him with sad eyes and told him, “I don’t think I’m going to be able to see you much anymore. But…promise me you’ll be there when I get married? I know it’s going to hurt. For the both of us. But I want to at least be able to look at the person I truly want to be with when I sign our life together away.”
Yoongi didn’t say much. He simply nodded and let Hoseok press kisses all over his face
The days blurred together, and time no longer felt real to Yoongi. He was in so much pain that he was just numb now. He couldn’t feel anything. Even when he reread Hoseok’s little notes to him from back then.
When Hoseok had already started falling for Yoongi and Yoongi didn’t even know what love was. Yoongi couldn’t believe that he had changed so much in just a few months. Now, he couldn’t imagine what his life would be like without Hoseok.
Things were so much easier back when Yoongi didn’t know what any of this was. All he had to do was survive when he was in the Principle. Maybe he had to worry about what he was going to eat for his next meal and where he was going to sleep. But those were things that Yoongi knew through and through.
Yoongi found himself missing that time. When he didn’t have to deal with things like heartbreak because he didn’t ever feel a love that warranted so much pain.
What Yoongi hated the most about all of this was that their relationship wasn’t ending because of them. It was ending because of a shitty circumstance that neither of them could control because Hoseok’s father decided to push Hoseok into a corner with that press release.
And the last few weeks of their relationship couldn’t even be spent together.
Yoongi never imagined before how things would end between them. But he knew that he wanted it to end on their terms. Because of a decision they made to part ways even if they still loved each other.
By the third week, Hoseok was never around anymore and Yoongi was tired.
Yoongi couldn’t turn on the TV without being reminded of the fact that Hoseok and Hwa-young were getting married. It didn’t help that Yoongi looked like an absolute trainwreck while every single photo and video of Hwa-young looked like a princess.
She looked like someone who belonged on Hoseok’s arm.
Yoongi felt like he was back in the games again. All he wanted to do was go home. Get away from all of the extravagance. Get away from Hoseok and this wedding that was being broadcasted as the most romantic wedding of the Regime.
His breaking point was when he turned on the TV just days before the wedding, only to see a video of Hoseok and Hwa-young kissing.
Yoongi played that little clip over and over again, rewinding and watching their faces. He kept on replaying it until 3 am, when the batteries in his remote died and he couldn’t rewind it anymore. The image of Hwa-young, giggling and smiling as Hoseok kissed her was another blow to Yoongi’s numb heart.
But Hoseok’s smile as he kissed her — despite how fake it looked — was the final breaking point for Yoongi.
Yoongi didn’t want to see this. He didn’t want to live in the Capitol. He didn’t want to be stuck here for the rest of his life, constantly being reminded of the man he loved so much that he’d give up everything for. He wanted things to end on his own terms. He wanted to be somewhere where he was safe from all of that.
He wanted to be back home. In the Principle.
It was just two days before the wedding. And Yoongi couldn’t take it anymore.
It was easy enough to order a long string of rope from the servants. None of them questioned it at all. And it was even easier to tire it to a notch on his window meant for tying the string of a curtain. All that was left was to get ready to actually leave.
Yoongi grabbed a small bag out of his closet and filled it up to the brim with all of the jewelry he could. He didn’t grab his dagger. Hoseok still had it somewhere. But he folded up the notes Hoseok wrote to him and tucked it in his pocket.
No matter how much Yoongi knew the thought of Hoseok would hurt him, he knew that he’d regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t at least take something with him.
And the ring…
The promise Hoseok made to Yoongi…that he would love Yoongi for the rest of his life. The promise that everything would be okay.
It didn’t mean anything now that their promises were broken. But Yoongi couldn’t bear to let it go. So he grabbed one of Hoseok’s dogtags, opening the clasp so that he could take the tag out. Yoongi carefully placed the ring on the chain and closed it around his neck. The metal was cold against his chest and heavy around his neck.
The weight of the time Yoongi had spent with Hoseok, the impact Hoseok had made on Yoongi’s soul…maybe all those promises were meaningless now, but those things weren’t.
Yoongi was all packed up in just a few minutes. But he couldn’t leave yet. He sat down with a pen and a piece of paper to write his goodbye to Hoseok.
But Yoongi couldn’t get past the first line.
There was so much he wanted to say. So much that he had to say. And Yoongi didn’t know how to put any of that into words the way that those writers in the books Hoseok showed him had.
Knock, knock, knock.
Yoongi’s head shot to the door. He grabbed his bag and shoved it underneath his bed as quickly as he could, running to open it before the servant on the other side could.
Yoongi cracked his door open, only to see the face of the man he was trying to run away from. Hoseok looked exhausted. But he was still at Yoongi’s door with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
“Petal,” Hoseok smiled. He opened Yoongi's door, stepping inside with a heartbroken look on his face. “I didn’t want to wake you up, but I fell asleep in my office and I forgot I was going to give this to you. It’s good to see that you’re out of your bed.”
Yoongi felt his heart ache for the first time in weeks, the feeling slashing through his numbness like a knife. He grabbed the bouquet from Hoseok, tears welling up in his eyes as he realized that Hoseok had come right as he was about to leave. And Hoseok was too smart to not realize what Yoongi was doing.
Yoongi never would have thought that he would have preferred it if they didn’t have one last goodbye face to face.
“Where are you going,” Hoseok asked. He wrapped his hands around Yoongi’s waist, his fingers holding on just a little too tight for it to be casual. Yoongi could tell that Hoseok had been wanting to hold him like this for a long time. And he could tell that Hoseok wasn’t sure if they were going to see each other again after this.
“Nowhere in particular,” Yoongi replied.
Hoseok leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss against Yoongi’s forehead, “Good. Because I wanted to spend as much time as I can with you right now.”
He took the bouquet back from Yoongi, walking over to Yoongi’s nightstand to replace the old one. Yoongi quietly helped him put the flowers in the vase. He had no idea how to tell Hoseok. He had no idea how to even broach the subject. But he knew that he had to, or else he’d never get to say goodbye to him.
Hoseok moved the flowers around a little so that it looked as pretty as possible. He smiled at his work, his smile lighting up the room. Yoongi’s heart fluttered as Hoseok turned to look at him.
Tears welled up in Yoongi’s eyes right as he realized that he wasn’t numb anymore.
Hoseok stood up, rushing to wipe Yoongi’s tears away, “Are you okay? What’s wrong, petal? Do you not like the flowers?”
“N-no. I love them,” Yoongi sniffled. He blinked away his tears, allowing himself to melt into Hoseok’s hands. They were cold. But they made Yoongi feel warm inside. Like everything was going to be okay.
But, instead of making Yoongi want to stay, it only made him remember why he couldn’t.
“Seok-ah. I’m leaving,” Yoongi whispered.
Hoseok looked at him in confusion but, deep down, Yoongi knew that he knew what Yoongi was talking about.
“What do you mean,” Hoseok asked. “Where are you going?”
Yoongi looked up into Hoseok’s eyes, his hands finding their way onto Hoseok’s shoulders as he shakily replied, “I’m going back home, Seok-ah. To the Principle.”
Hoseok’s eyes became glassy and his hands started to shake as he held onto Yoongi’s face tighter, “But…I thought your home is right here. With me, petal. Don’t…you can’t…why…you promised you’d be there.”
“I know,” Yoongi nodded. He watched as Hoseok battled with his own emotions, trying his best to stay calm. The sight of Hoseok trying to stay strong in the face of this broke his heart. Especially as he remembered how much he really meant to Hoseok. “Seok-ah…you know I love you so much, right?”
“And I love you more than anything in the world. So don’t leave. Please, I can’t…I can’t do this without even just knowing where you are. The only thing that’s keeping me sane is knowing that you’re going to still be here. That I could still be able to see your face and check up on you,” Hoseok pleaded.
Tears began to stream down Yoongi’s face as Hoseok begged him to stay. But the parts of him that knew he had to go didn’t budge.
Yoongi moved Hoseok’s hands off of his face, simply holding them in front of him as he explained, “Seok-ah…I have to go. You may be content living like that. But you’re all I have. And I can’t just live with getting crumbs of what our relationship used to be like. I can’t just stay here when every corner I turn is just going to make me hurt more and more remembering how much we loved each other. I want to stay with you. So, so much. I don’t even want a baby, but I would kill to be in Hwa-young’s spot. But we can’t stay together, Seok-ah. And when this thing between us ends, I want it to end on our terms.”
Hoseok looked dejected. He didn’t even bother trying to hide how heartbroken he was now, but Yoongi could tell that he was still trying to hold back his tears. Hoseok’s hands grabbed onto Yoongi’s as tightly as he could — as if by holding on tight he could make it so that Yoongi never left his grip.
But, eventually, Hoseok’s hands loosened, and he looked back up at Yoongi with a sad smile, “You’re the best thing I’ve ever had, petal. And I’m never going to find anything I love as much as you. I’m going to pray every day that you come back. I’m going to miss you for the rest of my life. I won’t send any soldiers out to find you. But I’m going to try to make the Principle safer for you. And I’m going to think about you and everything I wished we could have done together every day. I hope you know that.”
“I know,” Yoongi smiled back. He let go of Hoseok’s hands. Instead, he fell forwards and wrapped his arms around Hoseok in a tight hug. “I’ll never forget what lotuses are again. I’ll never forget movies, lakes, grass, parks, kimchi, birth control, any of it. I’ll never forget how amazing it is to be loved by someone. I’ll wish every day that the strangers in the street would look at me the way you do. And I’m going to pray that maybe, someday, you’ll wander the Principle. Looking for your next champion. And you’ll find me again.”
“So,” Hoseok sniffled. “I guess this is goodbye.”
“This is goodbye,” Yoongi nodded.
Yoongi blinked away his tears. But he couldn’t find the strength in him to let go of Hoseok just yet.
Hoseok couldn’t seem to either.
“In another life,” Hoseok whispered. “I’d like to think that we didn’t have to say goodbye to each other. That we worked out in the end.”
Yoongi nodded against Hoseok’s shoulder, a quiet laugh bubbling out of his heartbreak as he imagined it, “I’d like to think that in every other world out there, we’re together. Maybe we’re just two regular people. Maybe we’re in a band. Maybe we’re leading a revolution together.”
“Maybe we’re just right here, saying goodnight instead of goodbye,” Hoseok sighed.
Yoongi was finally able to tear himself away from Hoseok. He bent down, grabbing his bag from underneath the bed. Hoseok watched as Yoongi strapped it onto himself tightly and zipped up the bag.
“Keep my dagger,” Yoongi smiled. He walked over to the window, pulling the curtain back to reveal the length of rope reaching almost all the way down to the floor. Hoseok followed him, his face in that familiar, neutral expression as he watched Yoongi secure the rope.
Hoseok leaned against the windowsill, his eyes focused as he looked at Yoongi. They stared at each other that way for a long time — each of them burning the memory of the other’s face into their mind.
“I love you, my petal,” Hoseok whispered. “Stay safe for me. Please.”
Yoongi leaned forwards, their foreheads touching as he whispered back, “I love you too, my Seok-ah. Keep on cooking for me, okay?”
They leaned in for a kiss at the same time. It seemed to last forever, neither of them willing to let go just yet. It was only when they both desperately needed air that they let each other go.
“Goodbye,” Hoseok breathed out.
Yoongi pressed one last kiss to the corner of Hoseok’s mouth, a small but sad smile on his face as he grabbed onto the rope, “Goodbye.”
Hoseok blinked, and Yoongi was already halfway down the rope.
Hoseok stayed at the window for a long time, watching as Yoongi’s figure became smaller and smaller until he physically couldn’t see Yoongi anymore. His heart steamed at him for letting him go as he watched Yoongi leave.
But something deeper inside of him knew that it was the right thing to do. He couldn’t hold onto Yoongi forever. He knew that when he fell in love with Yoongi.
The most beautiful person he’d ever known. In every sense of the word.
Hoseok backed away from the window, his entire body numb as he stared at the flowers he’d gotten Yoongi. He had picked them out by hand for him. Lotuses, baby’s breath for everlasting love, camellias for longing, carnations for love, and chrysanthemums for goodbye.
A wave of pain crashed through Hoseok’s body as he finally internalized that Yoongi was gone.
He collapsed. Right there on Yoongi’s bedroom floor.
Hoseok’s tears finally broke loose as he grabbed onto the carpet and the still warm blankets. He continued to cry long past when the blankets were cold again. He’d gone through relationships before. But the heartbreak had never hurt this badly.
He’d never loved this hard before either.
And the one person who Hoseok always sought out for comfort was long gone.
Back where they’d started.
Epilogue:
“Yoon, stop messing with Appa’s papers. You’re getting cake all over them,” Hoseok sighed.
“Appa! Am I going to get a cake at mom’s house too?”
Hoseok looked down at the child in his lap. He couldn’t help but chuckle a little at his son. Yoon didn’t even care that he was getting cake everywhere — including on Hoseok’s clothes. There was even a little bit on the gold necklace Hoseok hadn’t even taken off in 8 years. All he wanted was another cake.
“I don’t know,” Hoseok smiled. He pressed a kiss to the top of Yoon’s head as the kid pouted up at him. “We can call your mom to ask. But…I guess 8 is a big age. Do you think you can eat two cakes?”
“I can eat 5,” Yoon proclaimed proudly. “Watch Appa!”
Yoon scrambled out of Hoseok’s lap, running from Hoseok’s desk to his little corner of the room — where the tiny cake Hoseok had made for him was still waiting to be finished. Hoseok watched in amusement as Yoon planted his hands inside of it and started stuffing his face.
“Very impressive,” Hoseok chuckled.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
A guard cracked open Hoseok’s door, informing him through the little crack.
“Mr. President? There’s someone here to see you.”
Hoseok turned back to his papers, wiping the cake off of the piece of paper that was supposed to be his schedule for the day. The frosting smeared over everything, leaving Hoseok unable to read which diplomat he was supposed to be meeting.
“Let them in,” Hoseok called out.
“APPA YOU’RE NOT WATCHING,” Yoon screamed.
Hoseok quietly sighed, smiling as he left his desk to run over to Yoon. He picked Yoon up, wiping the cake off of his hands and mouth with a little tsk. The person stepped inside as Hoseok wiped a struggling Yoon off.
“I’m so sorry, it’s my son’s 8th birthday,” Hoseok sighed. “He’s having a bit too much fun with his birth…”
Hoseok turned around, trailing off as he took in the sight of the person in front of him. They weren’t anyone Hoseok generally met. That was for sure. But their button nose, plump lips, slender frame, pale skin, all of it looked so familiar…Hoseok couldn’t place it.
At least until they locked eyes.
Hoseok’s heart dropped. He wasn’t even sure he could believe that it was true. But he was right there. The person Hoseok had dreamed about for years and years. Hoseok’s heart pounded in his ears as they stared at each other. Neither one of them knew exactly what to say.
“Yoongi,” Hoseok called out.
Yoongi’s eyes flashed in recognition of his name. His face broke out into a smile. That same, gummy, beautiful smile that Hoseok fell in love with all those years ago.
Hoseok felt tears coming into his eyes as Yoongi whispered, “Seok-ah.”
His heart burst open, bleeding out of its edges as he heard his name come out of those lips again.
Yoon thrashed around in Hoseok’s arms, forcing Hoseok to set him down. But, even as Hoseok did that, he couldn’t take his eyes off of Yoongi. So much about him had changed, and yet so little was different.
Yoon marched up towards Yoongi, his face in a full pout and his arms crossed as he asked, “What do you want with my Appa?”
“Yoon, don’t be rude,” Hoseok scolded. He stepped just a little bit closer to pull Yoon away from Yoongi. Hoseok knew that, if he got any closer, he would grab ahold of Yoongi and never let go again.
A playful little spark lit up in Yoongi’s eyes as he pointed out, “A lot has changed, hasn’t it Mr. President?”
“You don’t have to call me that, petal,” Hoseok smiled.
Even just the name petal slipped off his tongue just as easily as it did all those years ago. Hoseok didn’t even know if it was appropriate, if Yoongi had a new lover now, or if he was still allowed to call Yoongi that. But it just came out the moment Hoseok wanted to say something.
Yoon looked back and forth between the two adults, deciding that it was boring watching them stare at each other. He walked back to his cake, diving right back in without any shame.
Yoongi giggled at Yoon’s behavior, looking up at Hoseok with a sad smile, “So you did end up having a kid.”
“I’m not with his mom anymore,” Hoseok quickly replied. He paused for a moment, laughing shyly as he admitted, “I’m so sorry, I don’t know why that was the first thing I said. I…I had Yoon less than a year after you left. I think it’s pretty obvious why I chose the name Yoon.”
“I’m sorry that the whole marriage thing didn’t work out. But Yoon seems cute,” Yoongi laughed.
“It’s fine. I became President two years after we got married and, by then, she sick of me,” Hoseok waved off dismissively. He looked up at Yoongi’s face, taking in the details again as his voice softened, “You know, all I would talk about was you. I…I missed you so much. I spent every day wondering how you were.”
Yoongi’s face flushed pink as he walked a little closer to Hoseok, “It was rough for a while, being without you. But I don’t regret it, honestly. All of that time by myself, I learned a lot about myself. What I need to become a better person. To become my own person. But I missed you too. Every single day. I lost your notes to me a few years ago. But I’ve never let go of the ring.”
Hoseok gently hooked his finger around the silver chain around Yoongi’s neck, pulling it up to reveal the ring that he’d given Yoongi all those years ago. It was definitely a lot more battered than before and missing a few gems now. But it was still beautiful. Just the sight of it made all of the memories come rushing back to Hoseok.
“I never let go of your dagger either. I actually melted it down into this necklace. Kept the gem on it too,” Hoseok smiled. He pulled his necklace up to show Yoongi the frosting covered necklace. “Don’t mind the cake on it.”
Yoongi leaned in, examining it closely.
Hoseok never wanted to grab someone and kiss them so badly. He wanted to pull Yoongi in for the longest hug ever and kiss him until he couldn’t breathe anymore and cry in his arms for days because he couldn’t believe Yoongi was actually back.
“So…are you just passing by,” Hoseok asked.
Yoongi glanced up at Hoseok, a small smile spreading across his face as he replied, “I’m not sure actually. I was walking around when I found myself in the tunnels. I’ve actually been in the Inner City for a few days now. But I don’t know what I’m going to do. I certainly can’t crash at Seokjin’s place forever. Do you…have any input?”
“I think you should stay. Here. With me,” Hoseok answered without hesitation. Yoongi giggled at Hoseok’s confidence in his response, glancing back at where his room used to be. Hoseok looked back at his son and called him over, “Yoon, do you want to come on a little field trip with Appa?”
Yoon perked up at the sound of a field trip. He squealed with delight, wiping his hands and face off with a little napkin as he ran towards his Appa. He practically jumped up into Hoseok’s arms with an excited grin on his face.
Hoseok cocked his eyebrow at Yoongi, nudging Yoon towards him. Yoongi looked at him apprehensively. He didn’t really want to interfere with Hoseok and his kid. But Hoseok just kept on smiling at him reassuringly — and oh, how Yoongi had forgotten just how persuasive those eyes could be.
They carefully handed Yoon off, Yoongi clumsily taking him in his arms. It was clear that Yoongi didn’t quite know how to hold a kid. But Yoon didn’t seem to mind being held by Yoongi. He just kept calling out for Hoseok, demanding to go right now.
Hoseok’s heart warmed as he looked at them. His two loves, together the way he’d always dreamed of them being. Yoon looked so comfortable with him already. And Yoongi looked so terrified, holding a child. Hoseok remembered how scared he was of having a kid. Apparently that didn’t change in the eight years they’d been apart.
“My Yoons,” Hoseok sighed wistfully. Yoongi smiled at him, his face growing even pinker than before. “Come on. I wanna show you your old room before you decide what you’re going to do.”
Yoongi shifted Yoon to one arm and held his hand out towards Hoseok. He looked nervous as he waited for Hoseok to do something. Scared, even, that he was stepping across a line formed by 8 years of separation from each other.
Hoseok didn’t hesitate. He grabbed Yoongi’s hands, their fingers lacing together all on their own. Yoongi’s hands were rougher than Hoseok remembered. But it still felt the same. And Hoseok still felt just as happy holding him as he used to.
They walked out of the door together, hand in hand with Yoon in Yoongi’s arms. The walk was short. But it felt so agonizingly long to Hoseok. With every step, every meeting of their eyes, every little laugh from Yoon, time seemed to slow down. And all Hoseok could think of were all the things in Yoongi’s life that he missed.
All the important moments. Every night that they could have spent together. Maybe Yoongi returned to that brothel they stayed in together. Maybe Yoongi sat on that rooftop every day. Hoseok’s mind, as it had been every night for the past eight years, was drowning in the what if’s.
What if Hoseok had refused to marry Hwa-young? What if Hoseok had just quit everything like he wanted to and moved away from the Capitol with Yoongi? What if he had run away with Yoongi, demanded that they go together?
It was so hard to conceptualize the time now.
Yoongi. The first champion. Missing for so long that there was already a second, and in two years there would be a third. Yoongi was 19 when Hoseok met him. Hoseok was 23. And now, Yoongi must be 27. Hoseok was 31. The majority of Hoseok’s twenties was spent longing for the love of his life.
Hoseok prayed to the universe that Yoongi would stay. He didn’t know if he could let go of Yoongi one more time. All Hoseok wanted now was to learn everything about Yoongi all over again, hear every story from the last eight years a thousand times over, figure out how to love Yoongi again, and solidify Yoongi as a part of his family.
They walked up to the door, Yoongi looking nervous as he stared at the familiar handle. His hand shook as he reached out for it again. And Hoseok could see his eyes getting glassy as a tidal wave of feelings started to drown him.
Hoseok knew it well. He felt the exact same way every time he walked into this room.
“Why we are waiting? Open the door,” Yoon pouted.
Yoongi snapped out of his trance, his eyes snapping to Yoon. He placed his hand on the handle with a smile, “Silly me, I forgot how to open doors. Will you help me?”
Yoon burst out into a fit of giggles, throwing his head back into Yoongi’s shoulder as he laughed, “No! No! No! Your hand goes on the hand-o. And you PUSH! No pull though. Appa says you can’t pull the door.”
“Of course not, that would be silly,” Yoongi replied.
They stepped in together, taking in the sight of the room. Everything was exactly as Yoongi had left it. Only now, there were flowers painted everywhere on the walls. Even the rope Yoongi used to leave was still there — curled up on the windowsill.
Yoongi set Yoon down slowly. He stared at everything in shock, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to figure out what to say. But nothing was quite enough to express what he was feeling. So Yoongi just closed the door and slowly walked towards the middle of the room so that he could look at everything.
“All the flowers on the walls…outside, too. Are they all for me,” Yoongi asked.
Hoseok walked over to stand right next to Yoongi. Their shoulders were right next to each other. But not touching. Only the edges of their knuckles dared to brush against each other.
“Yes, they are. They’re the only thing that I changed about your room,” Hoseok smiled. He looked over at Yoongi, glancing hesitantly at Yoon as he started climbing onto the bed. “I’ll be honest, I spent a lot of time in here after you left. But I couldn’t bear to move any of this stuff. I thought I was just being foolish back then, but I thought that — if you came back — you’d appreciate everything being the same.”
Yoongi turned to face Hoseok, his hands finding Hoseok as he whispered, “I do appreciate it, Seok-ah.”
“I didn’t finish,” Hoseok whispered back. “I thought that it would make you want to stay. For good this time.”
Yoongi looked around, his gummy smile spreading across his face as he shrugged, “Well, I don’t have anywhere else to go. And there’s no place I’d rather be.”
That was Hoseok’s breaking point. He leaned forwards, wrapping Yoongi in the tightest hug he possibly could. Their necklaces clicked together as their arms wrapped around each other. And Hoseok felt a few tears wet the fabric of Yoongi’s torn up shirt. Hoseok could feel his own dress shirt start to dampen as well.
Yoongi’s body was warm, and it was still just as comforting as it used to be all those years ago. In fact, it was even more comforting now that years and years of pent up sadness and grief and regret washed away and replaced itself with relief and love and pure bliss.
They pulled away, still holding each other as close as they could. Hoseok’s eyes wandered Yoongi’s face, pressing each and every detail into his mind. Especially Yoongi’s lips.
“Can I kiss you,” Hoseok asked.
Instead of responding, Yoongi wrapped his arms around Hoseok's shoulders and pulled him in. Their lips met with a triumphant spark. Hoseok’s entire body lit ablaze as they kissed. His heart felt like it exploded with every beat, the BOOM, BOOM, BOOM echoing in his head as they leaned in even further.
They kissed each other passionately, leaning in as far as they could into each other and throwing their all into it in a silent agreement that they had to make up the past eight years. Maybe making out once wasn’t nearly enough, but Hoseok just knew that they both were willing to put in the work until they got there and then some.
“NO! STOP EATING APPA,” Yoon screamed.
He ran towards Yoongi and tried to force himself in between them. He hit Yoongi’s thighs as hard as he could over and over again, screaming gibberish as he tried to get Yoongi away from his appa.
Yoongi and Hoseok burst out into laughter together as Hoseok picked Yoon up. He pressed a kiss to Yoon’s cheek, howling with laughter as he explained, “Appa is doing perfectly fine, cutie pie, In fact, Appa wants you to meet someone very important to Appa. Your Appa loves this person very much.”
Hoseok pointed towards Yoongi and smiled, “This is Yoongi. And he’s going to be around a lot, okay? Play nice. I love both of you so much. And I would be very upset if either of you hurt each other’s feelings.”
“But, but…but…” Yoon pouted. “Appa?”
Hoseok leaned over Yoon’s head, planting a kiss right on Yoongi’s cheek as he whispered, ‘I love you, petal.”
Yoongi looked down at Yoon, and then up at Hoseok again. He leaned to the side against Hoseok’s shoulder. He stared at Yoon for a long, long time before he was a little tired from staring Yoongi down.
“I’m in this forever now. I love you too, Seok-ah,” Yoongi smiled back.
Hoseok never thought he’d believe in forever again. But the very same person who broke that idea for him was now back in his arms. Ready to give him a second chance.
But he was determined.
This second chance would be the last one Hoseok would ever have to have.