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"Say, Bachira…Why do you cling to me so much?"
Bachira and Isagi were laying on Bachira's bed in his home. It was a warm, moist summer night, the two were wearing nothing but boxers and t-shirts, laying in the dark under a thin blanket, gazing at each other. Cicadas were yelling outside the window, maybe warning of upcoming thunder. Bachira noticed a drop of sweat at Isagi's temple, and gently wiped it with his thumb.
"Because I love you, silly."
Silence fell into the room. It seemed even the wind stilled. Isagi's eyes widened.
"What's wrong?"
"You love me?"
"Of course."
Isagi's face twisted, into a horrific disgust, and he slapped Bachira's hand away. Thunder struck outside, rain starting to pour down by the bucketful. Bachira froze, Isagi sat up.
"That's fucking disgusting! I can't believe I'm friends with a fucking fag!"
Bachira opened his mouth to respond, but Isagi turned to look at him. He'd never seen an expression like that on Isagi.
"Get out of my life!"
Bachira jolted awake, panting and in cold sweat. A gray ceiling welcomed him, reminding him that he's not home, but in Blue Lock. He wiped the sweat off his face and took a deep breath, rolling over to look at Isagi.
Isagi wouldn't say things like that…Dumb dream…
Regardless, tears welled in Bachira's eyes. He stared at Isagi, who was peacefully sleeping in his own bed.
*Hic* *Hic*
"He wouldn't…" Bachira whispered to himself.
Isagi stirred awake. Bachira quickly wiped his eyes.
"Bachira?"
"Morning, Isagi~"
"Good morning."
"You're up early."
"Mn…Hungry…"
Isagi chuckled and walked over to him.
"Let's go for breakfast then, shall we?"
He patted Bachira's hair softly. Bachira's heart melted.
Yeah, he wouldn't say things like that. Sorry, Isagi. I love you.
—
"Hey Isagi?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
The two sat in the monitor room, watching a playback of a game, shoulder to shoulder on the floor.
"I like you a lot. I hope we can stay together forever."
"Forever? Dude, that's a bit much."
"What?"
Isagi smiled at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Sounds like you wanna get married or something."
"I wouldn't mind!"
Isagi laughed more.
"Why are you laughing?"
Isagi's face dropped.
"What, you're serious?"
"Yeah! I like you, Isagi! If I get married I want it to be with Isagi."
"Wait, Bachira…Are you like, gay or something?"
Isagi seemed uncomfortable. Bachira's heart started pounding.
"I think so?"
"Oh…"
"Isagi?"
"Sorry, I didn't realize…"
"Yeah, I don't know if I'm gay, but I like you, Isagi."
Isagi stood up abruptly. The cheering on the monitors got louder, almost demonic. The screens got staticky and flickered slightly, bringing along with it an ominous buzzing.
"Sorry, I don't feel that way…I like girls…"
"O-oh…That's okay, we can still-"
"I think it's better if you don't talk to me anymore."
The screens paused, glowing a somber light on their faces.
"B-but-"
"Just don't. I don't want to talk to you. Find someone else."
"Isa-!"
Bachira blinked awake. The gray ceiling greeted him again.
Shit, again…
Bachira got up and headed for the bathroom. It was early, there was no one around. He splashed some cold water on his face and stared at himself in the mirror, with an unusually serious expression. He struck a few poses at himself, smiling, then grinning, then puckering his lips.
"Haa…"
He leaned on the counter and let his head droop while the drops of water ran down his nose and fell on the floor.
I shouldn't let this get to me. I'm just nervous. They're just nightmares. I'll tell Isagi soon, and I'm sure he'll be happy. Even if he doesn't like me back, he'll be nice. We'll still be friends. It's going to be okay.
Bachira wiped his face and headed back to his room. For a moment he considered curling up next to Isagi, but ultimately decided against it, and hugged his pillow instead.
—
Few seconds left on the timer. Bachira steals the ball. His eyes fix on Isagi, who is perfectly positioned a few steps further. He quickly twists around his opponent, and passes to Isagi. Isagi doesn't hesitate to shoot, and the ball slams into the goal. A whistle sound comes from the speakers. People are yelling. They won. People flock to Isagi, but he soon jogs over to Bachira and ruffles his hair.
"Nice pass, partner!"
Bachira smiles. He jumps to hug Isagi.
"Nice goal, partner!"
Isagi hugs him back. It's nice. Really nice. Being able to celebrate a win like this. Being able to play soccer like that. Being with Isagi. It's so overwhelmingly good that Bachira wants to just say fuck it and kiss him right then and there. His chest is tight. Then the nightmares start playing on loop in his head again. Isagi doesn't push him away. Isagi hugs him back, even when he's focusing on others. Bachira hugs him tighter, hiding his face at the nook of his neck. Isagi notices the shift in his energy and pats his head.
"Bachira? Everything okay?"
Bachira releases his grip and smiles sweetly.
"Yup! Man I'm sweaty, time to shower~"
Isagi knows him. Isagi knows him too well. He can notice even the smallest things and it's equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. Bachira runs away and hides in the steam of the showers.
—
The park is quiet, aside from the metal of the swing creaking while Bachira swings back and forth. The air is chilly, it's autumn, the leaves have started to fall, and there's a strange humidity in the air. Cold pinches at Bachira's cheeks every time the swing dips down. Lamps on the street emit a soft yellow glow. A tireless moth still unaffected by the nearing winter keeps bumping into the warm hue. The sky is a deep shade of sapphire, gray clouds looming a bit too close.
"Meguru!"
His mother's voice calls for him. Suddenly the sky seems a bit farther. Cold is seeping through his clothes as he lays in the middle of the park. Pain stings at his face, throat, and his wrists throb, fingers already numb. Then there's a weight on his stomach.
Who is this again..?
The face of the person on him is hidden by the streetlight beaming from right behind his head.
Right, I remember this. He and his friends beat me up for being weird. They called me names. Hit me until I couldn't do anything but lay there.
"Bachira, you…"
The person digs through his pocket with shaky hands.
"You've lied to me…This whole time…Pretending you weren't a freak…"
Isagi's eyes match the shade of the sky as he stares down at him, face twisted into something evil.
"This whole time I thought we were friends…But you've been lusting after me, like the fucking whore you are…"
Something sharp glimmers in Isagi's hand as he lifts it above his head.
"Freaks like you should just die!"
His hand swings down hard. It hits Bachira's jugular. Bachira jolts awake, realizing he's screaming. Isagi runs to him from the door.
"Bachira! Bachira, calm down!"
"Ahh..! Haa..!"
Isagi hugs him tight.
"You're okay, you're okay. It was just a dream, you're safe."
Bachira takes a few steadying breaths, while Isagi pats his hair. Then he feels like he's going to throw up.
"Sorry, I need to go..!"
"Bachira-!"
Bachira shoves Isagi off him and runs to the bathroom, immediately spilling his guts in the toilet bowl as he reaches it. His throat burns, his whole body shakes, tears stream down his face. The nightmares have taken their toll on his body, making it hard to fall asleep, making him exhausted. Bachira slumps over the toilet after his body has decided it's emptied enough, and quietly sobs.
This is so fucking stupid…Isagi…Save me…
"Bachira?"
Bachira jolts up.
"Bachira, are you in here? Are you okay?"
He wipes his mouth and flushes the toilet. He drags his feet as he steps out of the stall, eyes meeting with Isagi's. Isagi looks worried. Bachira is once again reminded of the dreams as he looks at him.
"Bachira? You don't look too good, what's wrong?"
Isagi places a hand on his forehead. Bachira panics.
"Don't fucking touch me!"
Isagi takes a step back in surprise, his eyes wide and full of fear. Bachira's stomach drops.
"N-no, I didn't mean…"
It's too much to handle. He can't look at Isagi. It hurts. He fucked up. It hurts. He needs to get away.
Bachira runs.
—
Isagi hasn't seen Bachira all day. He's worried sick, but Bachira clearly doesn't want to be found. He's skipped practice, and no one has seen him. Or maybe they have but Bachira's asked them not to tell him. He'll come back soon. It's Bachira. He's always so positive, always making Isagi feel at ease. He'll be in their room when he goes there, ready to explain himself and smile at him again.
*Beep*
The door opens. Isagi scans the room. No sight of Bachira. He sighs and steps in. He steps into something wet.
Ugh, why is the floor wet?
He shrugs it off and goes to grab his towel. Then he notices a small note on his bed, and picks it up. There are water droplets on it.
"Thank you for everything. I love you, Isagi. -Bachira Meguru"
Isagi's stomach drops. He pockets the note and runs out of the room.
"Bachira!"
He's running through the halls, checking every room he can, urgency growing by the second.
"Bachira! Has anyone seen Bachira!?"
Isagi suddenly remembers his and Bachira's late night explorations, and the stairs they found. His knees almost buckle in fear, but he takes off sprinting.
Please don't be too late, please! I'll do anything, please don't take him from me!
The heavy metal door opens with a squeak. The setting sun blinds Isagi for a moment, and the fresh air catches him off guard after being locked indoors so long. He forces his eyes to stay open, and in the mist is a form of a person. Both relief and terror wash over him.
"Bachira!"
Bachira shows no sign of acknowledging him.
"Bachira, come down from there..!"
His damp hair flutters in the wind.
"Bachira…You're going to catch a cold…"
Bachira slowly turned his head around. He was smiling, but tears were running down his cheeks, shimmering in shades of orange and pink in the light. Even at a moment like this Isagi couldn't help but be in awe of his beauty.
"Come down, okay? Let's talk, I'll help you out, with anything..!"
Bachira opened his eyes and stared out into the horizon.
"I read your note!"
"You don't have to say anything."
Bachira's voice was weak.
"I was going to have jumped by the time you found it. But the sky is so pretty."
Bachira laughed a pained laugh.
"I'm a coward."
Isagi saw his chance as Bachira's gaze was fixed away from him. He ran, as quietly and quickly as possible, risking everything on his instincts. Surprisingly Bachira didn't notice anything until Isagi yanked him down from the rooftop's ledge. Bachira couldn't even process what had happened.
"Haa..! Haa..!"
Bachira felt Isagi's entire body tremble to the point it was weird to think he was just standing.
"Sh-shit B-Bachira…Fuck..!"
Bachira was stunned. Isagi held him so tight it hurt.
"Don't do that…Never do that again…Don't do that…Don't you dare…Don't leave me…Don't die, Bachira, fuck!"
Isagi broke down. He sobbed and gasped for breath.
"B-but…I thought…"
Bachira couldn't stop himself from bawling as well. He writhed himself around in Isagi's arms, gripping him tightly.
They stayed holding each other quite a while, the sun falling behind the horizon by the time their sobs died down. Isagi sat leaning his back on the ledge, Bachira curled up in his lap.
"Have you calmed down?"
"Mn…"
Isagi knew Bachira wasn't ready to talk.
"It's a bit funny, you know, when I saw that note…"
"?"
"I was terrified, of course, but…"
"I was so happy."
Bachira glances up at him. Isagi ran his fingers through his hair tenderly.
"I love you a lot, you know."
"Y-you do..?"
Isagi smiled at him sweetly.
"Of course. You always calm me down. You encourage me. You make me love soccer even more. I wouldn't be here without you."
Bachira's eyes welled up with tears again. Isagi's expression also dropped.
"Why didn't you talk to me..?"
Isagi's voice was barely a whisper. Knives twisted in Bachira's chest.
"Please talk to me…I want to help you…I don't want to lose you…"
Bachira took his hand and laced their fingers together.
"I…have been seeing nightmares."
Isagi stayed silent, letting Bachira continue at his own pace. His lashes fluttered and he took a deep breath.
"In the dreams…I tell you I love you and you cast me aside. Leave me all alone."
Isagi squeezed his hand, a comforting, secure motion that only made Bachira feel worse.
"I started to believe them…They're so…I never wanted to…I was just scared of being alone…"
"Hey."
Isagi brought his hand to his lips.
"I'm never going to leave you."
"Isagi..! I'm so sorry..! I love you..!"
"I love you too."
Isagi pulled his head closer and kissed his forehead. Warmth spread across Bachira's body, swallowing him whole.
"Kiss me properly…"
Isagi cupped his jaw and pressed their lips together to a slow and soft kiss. Isagi pulled back and rubbed Bachira's swollen eye with his thumb.
"How about we go back to our room and talk more tomorrow?"
"Can I sleep next to you?"
"Of course."
—
Bachira felt a million times better having talked things out. He'd had to convince multiple others as well that he was fine, Isagi's search having raised alarm around the facility. The nightmares had mostly stopped as well, and occasionally when they'd come back, Isagi was right there next to him, ready to remind him he wasn't going anywhere.
"Hey Bachira?"
"What's up, Isagi~"
"I've asked for a day off tomorrow."
"Oh? Where are you going? Should I come with?"
"No, I have to go see my family…But I'll be back in the evening, I won't be long."
"Oh, okay. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to let you know."
Isagi seemed fidgety. Blue eyes darted all around the room. Bachira found it a bit strange but not alarming.
"Yeah, ok! I'll wait for you…Can you bring me candy?"
Isagi chuckled. It was a pretty, genuine laugh that made Bachira fall in love all over again.
"Sure, what kind?"
"Sour candy! The yellow ones!"
"Got it."
—
Isagi ran his errands as fast as he could, hoping to return to Bachira's side as soon as possible. By the time he returned, it had only been a few hours.
"Isagii~"
Bachira jumped at him. Isagi immediately relaxed when the boy was in his arms, sparkling eyes gazing at him.
"I didn't forget your candies."
"Yey~! You're the best!"
"How did it go with your family?"
"Oh, yeah. Went well."
Bachira raised his eyebrow. Isagi brushed it off.
"Let's get you into the bath, shall we?"
~
"One more~"
Bachira popped a candy into his mouth and crawled into bed where Isagi was already laying.
"Did you have a good day today?" Isagi cooed.
"Oh, I did-"
Bachira rambled on and on about what he'd done at practice, down to details about other players and what they had done. Isagi didn't mind, he just stared at him and enjoyed his voice.
"Sorry, I'm rambling."
"I don't mind."
Isagi took his hand and kissed it.
"I love you."
Bachira reddened but grinned wide.
"I love you too~"
"I didn't actually go see my family today."
"Oh..?"
Isagi rummaged under the covers and grabbed something.
"I went to go get this."
He opened his hand and presented the ring between his fingers. It was a simple, silver band with a dark blue gem embedded into it. Bachira's eyes fixated on it.
"It's just a simple one for now, but I thought…No."
Isagi shook his head and looked Bachira directly into his eyes.
"Bachira Meguru, will you marry me?"
Bachira's eyes widened.
"I'd love to…"
Isagi grinned at him and slid the ring on his finger. It fit perfectly.
"How..?"
"Pure luck, honestly. I'm glad it fits. Do you like it?"
Bachira finally registered what happened, and started bawling.
"I love ittt…I love youuu…"
Isagi laughed and pulled him into his arms.
"I love you too."
Isagi kissed him, and the tear stained cheeks.
"You taste like lemons."