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1: Coach Beard
Right from the start, Colin had always been curious about Coach Beards real name. When he first saw the name Coach Beard on paper, he was mostly just confused. But after meeting the man he decided he would probably find out in time.
He didn't.
Even after over a year of knowing his coaching staff, he still knew next to nothing about Beard. The more he thought about it, the more he thought that no one knew. He wasn't quite sure how it started, but for about a month or so the question took over his life.
* * *
Colin only had so much time. He knew people would start coming into the locker room soon, but Colin had never arrived at Nelson Road this early. This may be his only chance. So there he was, in the dark, snooping around the gaffer's office. So far, it had been a meritless search. He had hoped maybe he would find some official documents or something, but so far all he'd found in Beards desk was an odd amount of books and a not at all creepy voodoo doll. As he picked up the voodoo doll he realized that it looked weirdly like Nate. He shuddered and put it back in the desk. Right as he was about to start digging in coach Lasso’s desk the lights flicked on. Colin dropped to the floor with a thud.
“Oh Colin, are you ok??”
A nervous looking Will appeared above him, extending his hand that wasn't holding a large pile of fresh laundry. As Colin got up he managed to get out an awkward thumbs up and tight lipped smile.
“Hey, what were you doing?” Will asked innocently.
“Nothing” Colin squeaked as he tip toed out the door, less innocently.
2: mac n cheese
Moe Bumbercatch was one of the people Colin was closest with on the team. Aside from Isaac that is. Moe was chill, nice, knit cool shit, and as Colin had just found out, was really into conspiracies.
It was a friday night, and Colin and Moe were drinking wine. Usually when they had their Friday night hang out sessions, they watched trashy movies while they drank and ate popcorn. Tonight however, was Moe’s turn for choosing the movie, and instead of the usual: Moe had put on what looks like an unprofessional youtube documentary about corporate mac and cheese companies ruling the world.
Colin thinks his life might be changed forever.
3: Lavender
Colin had been doing research. Ever since he had that conversation with Trent he’d decided he wanted to know more about queer history. There was just so much he hadn't been taught in school.
Maybe Moe had been rubbing off on him, but when Colin learned of the gay cultural significance of lavender the first thing he thought of was Will the kitman. Maybe it's just because he’d been up for 56.23 exact hours straight, and he was in the middle of an internet rabbit hole, but at that moment he thought that he just needed to set Will up with someone. Surely, if one had enough money, it would be possible to artificially orchestrate a meet cute. Will seemed like the sort of lad who wants a meet cute.
* * *
Will didnt know why, but all morning people kept running into him. First it was a man carrying an absurd amount of papers. Then one carrying coffee. Then another one carrying a bouquet of roses. When he showed up to work he nearly bumped into Colin, who’d been hovering near the door.
“Anything interesting happen this morning boyo?” he asked excitedly.
“Not particularly,” Will replies.
As Will entered, he noticed Colin’s oddly disappointed looking face in the window reflection.
4: Dragons
Isaac was asleep. Correction: had been asleep. Now he was awake, his phone was ringing, and his clock on his bedside table read 2:17 am. Groggily he leaned over to get his phone. As he squinted at the bright light he saw Colin’s name.
“Boyo, you wont believe this shit–”
Isaac listened to Colin as he slurred more gibberish.
“Colin. Bruv. Its fucking two am. Are you drinking with Bumbercatch again?”
“Isaac dragons are FUCKING REA–”
Isaac hung up the phone.
5: Mermaids
“Colin if this goes the way it went last week I swear to god–”
“MERMAIDS are real–”
+1
It started with the american t-shirts.
Over the course of Colin’s life, he had met a lot of people. Many of whom were british. Colin thinks Trent Crimm might be one of the most British people he has ever met. It was precisely that reason that the increasing commonality of Trent wearing american t-shirts piqued his interest. Colin could not, for the life of him, figure out why Trent wears so many. Naturally, he decided to bring it up with Isaac.
“Bruv, don't you know, he’s like, in love with Lasso.”
That's it. That's all he got. No explanation, no nothing. When Colin asked for Isaac to further expand upon his answer, all he received was a shrug and the two words: “body science”. At first Colin was doubtful, but as per usual, Isaac was right. Trent was down bad for Coach Lasso. Colin was pretty sure that Trent’s eyes literally turned into the heart eyes emoji every time the gaffer walked in the room. Ok, so Trent was in love. The poor fella. Colin could empathize with the pain of unrequited love.
But the longer he watched, the more Colin realized it might not be unrequited. Because the more Colin looked at Trent, who looked at Lasso, the more he watched Ted look at Trent. And Holy Shit.
So naturally, Colin bought a corkboard.
* * *
But, Colin quickly found that there was a definite deficit of info to add to the corkboard, therefore; he set to it himself.
* * *
Colin was leaning awkwardly around a wall. He was trying desperately to conceal his existence, but he was also trying to zoom in on Ted and Trent talking. As he removed one hand from the wall to adjust the zoom, he lost his balance and all but tripped over his own feet. As he stumbled and attempted to cover it with an awkward smile, he scurried back to his hiding place and once again re-opened the camera app. In the distance Trent and Ted were laughing about something. They were both slightly leaning in to each other, smiling and relaxed, completely absorbed in their own little world. They looked so at ease, simply idly talking.
“Why do they just stand around and talk after work every fucking day?” Colin muttered to himself.
He grumbled as he heard a gruff “body science” from Isaac as he walks past.
* * *
He takes notes:
-why did Trent sit in on teds parent teacher conference??
-They flirt
-they flirt a lot
- was a straight man???
-Ted compliments Trents hair. A lot.
-girl talk?
* * *
Colin was thinking about giving up. He sighed as he walked through the doors of Nelson Road. He started to unscrew his water bottle cap as he made his way to the water fountain, where Isaac was standing.
“Morning,” he said, tired.
“Bad morning?” Isaac asked, concerned. “Nope,” Colin replied, “just in a shitty mood”. “Well,” Isaac said, “I might have something that could cheer you up. Remember your weird obsession with Crimm and the gaffer?” Colin nodded, already incredibly done with the day.
“I'm pretty sure they figured their shit out.” Isaac paused. “Got together.”
“Lemme guess, body science?”
“Body science.”
Colin sighed. He started to turn around to head to the locker room when something through the window caught his eye. Right through the window Trent and Ted were making out. Right in the parking lot. Slowly, Colin spun around on his heel and began to walk to the locker room. Isaac followed.
Colin chuckled.
“So. Body science.”