Chapter Text
Break free from the clutches of destiny, they say, and carve your path without being led astray, for your purpose in life is concealed behind your very eyes. Forge it now with your own two hands, and let your existence erupt into a blazing splendour.
— teachings about ▇▇▇, Aeon of the ▇▇▇▇▇.
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“Have you heard? General Jing Yuan has a secret lover!” she exclaimed, her hand covered her mouth from prying eyes.
“How do you know?” the other whispered, leaning closer, her eyes gleaming with curiosity.
“Some of the guards noticed that the general would occasionally disappear without informing anyone of his whereabouts!” she explained.
“Oh my! How scandalous! I wonder who managed to woo the handsome general?” the other giggled.
“You should ask him instead of gossiping like this,” a voice called out, causing the two maidens to yelp in surprise. They quickly turned to the source and immediately paled when they spotted Yanqing seated on the railing. He was silently examining a fallen leaf he held between his fingers.
“M-Master Yanqing!” they squeaked in unison, bowing their heads low. “We apologise for our impudence! Please excuse us!”
Yanqing glanced in their direction just in time to watch them scamper away. The boy then let out a deep sigh before tossing the leaf over the railing. Turning his attention to the nearby tree, he immediately spotted a lone sparrow perched on a branch, its beady black eyes peering directly at him.
“You’re quite popular, aren’t you?” he asked with a cheeky grin.
✧ ─── ✦ ─── ✧
Sparrows and finches chirped and sang, while the tiny tapping of their feet on the tree branches could be heard. A gentle breeze rustled through the leaves before passing through your hair, pushing strands of loose hair to tickle your cheek. The strong floral scent danced in the air, enveloping you in a state of tranquillity.
You opened your eyes and were greeted by the sight of a cat stretching its body out and yawning. It spared you a lazy glance before flopping to its side to resume its nap under the grand tree, shielded from the sun’s relentless glare.
You smiled to yourself, as your surprise from being instantly spotted by the young swordsman turned into admiration. After all, you expected no less from Jing Yuan’s retainer. You spent a few more minutes in the garden, wanting to bask in the quietness as the world around you faded into insignificance. But in actuality, you wanted to take a moment to catch your bearings since you were quick to grow fatigued whenever you used your powers nowadays.
You turned around and walked down the stone path that led to the building. Some of the birds flew around you as though they found comfort in your presence. You held your hand out, and one landed on your open palm. Before you could stroke its soft feathers, it flew ahead and landed beside the resting man. It chirped sweetly, tilting its head as it curiously got closer to him.
“Go on now,” you told the sparrow with a wave of your hand. It flew away, leaving you alone with the reposed general.
This instance was nothing new to you since Jing Yuan himself had told you that this was his favourite spot to take his afternoon nap. You tried to recall the last time you had seen or spoken to him in person.
You stood over him for a moment, wondering if he was actually asleep or pretending. You decided to settle onto his lap, making yourself comfortable as you peered down at his sleeping face. He was truly exquisite, adorned with silvery tresses that lay spread over the floorboards. You had memorised the contour of his face, the perfectly imperfect faded scars on his flesh; everything about him you knew like the depth of your own soul.
“Did you come all this way just to sleep, General?” You whispered.
The corner of his lip twitched. “Naturally, I came to see you.”
“How can you see me if your eyes are closed?” you teased. You reached out your hand, lightly brushing your fingers over his moon-kissed lashes. They fluttered against your touch, causing you to pull back as he opened his eyes. They were beautiful like molten amber, emanating a luminous glow that captured your heart from the very first glance.
He held your gaze, watching you with a tender smile on his lips. “Hello,” he greeted. You couldn't help but chuckle before leaning closer to plant a small kiss on his forehead. You rested your body fully over his, feeling the uncomfortable poke of the armour he wore against you. But, even then, you didn't want to pull back. You yearned to feel more of his warmth, wanting to bury yourself in it. “Have you missed me?” he inquired playfully.
You pulled back and raised an eyebrow. “How can I miss you when I’m always by your side?” you questioned, striving to uphold your façade. You didn't want to reveal just how much you’ve missed him, how you have craved his presence—hoping to spare him the weight of your loneliness.
Jing Yuan's large hand caressed your cheek while the other wrapped around your waist, holding you close. “It doesn't count when you merely borrow the sight of the animals around me,” he remarked.
You wanted to agree with him because nothing could compare to physically being with him, being able to touch him and hear his heartbeat. Instead, you lowered your head, nuzzling it into the crook of his neck, while his hand went to the back of your head, stroking your hair.
Jing Yuan let out a soft laugh. “I suppose you have missed me then,” you remained silent, closing your eyes and breathing in his scent instead. “I apologise for not visiting you as often. Things have been rather…busy as of late.”
“I know. You don’t have to explain yourself,” you reassured him. When you used your powers to inhabit the consciousness of the animals around you, you’ve heard of the commotion happening in Xianzhou Luofu, the involvement of two notorious individuals, the emergence of the Cancer of All Worlds, and the arrival of Akivili’s followers. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be of assistance. If only my powers—”
Jing Yuan tightened his grip around you, stopping you from continuing. “This is not your battle to fight. Besides, if the people were to find out I have been hiding an Aeon in plain sight, things would fall into complete disarray.”
“I am no longer one,” you corrected him. At this point, you don't even know what you are anymore. You find yourself caught in a perpetual state of limbo, awaiting your inevitable demise.
“Hm,” he turned to kiss your hair, a sweet gesture that instantly calmed your heart. “Forgive me for bringing it up,”
You wanted to reassure him that you weren't upset in the slightest, but Jing Yuan continued to plant tender kisses on your face. His hand then slipped under your top, his fingers directly touching your shoulder.
You immediately pulled away, sitting up and swiftly adjusting yourself to ensure your skin was not exposed. It took you a moment to realise that your attempt at discretion had failed. Slowly, you turned to meet Jing Yuan's concerned gaze.
“I didn’t mean to displease you.” he said after a pause, pulling his hands away from you.
“No! You didn’t!” You haven’t physically met in a long time, therefore, he doesn’t know of the changes that happened to your body. You placed your hand on his chest. “Allow me to…take the lead.” You said sheepishly, attempting to distract him.
Jing Yuan smiled. “You don’t have to push yourself.”
You shook your head and leaned over, closing the distance between your faces. “It’s been so long. I want to…with you…”
Your lips brushed against each other, soft and tender, that it whispered of unspoken desires and kindled an ache of longing deep within you. You deepened the kiss while your fingers trailed over his torso to unfasten the pieces of armour that protected his body.
After a moment of uncertainty, the general was swayed by your actions. He returned your kiss with the same passion and eagerness. His hand went to the back of your neck, holding you in place while his tongue danced with yours.
Once he was rid of the platings, you reached back and pulled his hand away from your nape before straightening your posture. You brought it towards your mouth, and as you held eye contact with him, you began to unfasten his leather vambrace, one strap at a time, using your teeth.
It slid off his arm and fell to the wooden floor with a soft thud. At this point, you could feel his hardness pushing against your bottom, but he remained completely composed and watched you in silence. Fluttering kisses were placed on his wrist and up to his open palm before you rested his hand against your cheek. You were savouring his warmth and the comforting touch of his large hand on your skin until you felt his thumb lightly brush your bottom lip.
“You’re acting differently today,” he commented.
“Is that a bad thing?” you asked, batting your eyelashes innocently. Before he could reply, you grabbed his wrist and pinned it down next to his head. His eyes widened from your actions. “And no touching, General. As I mentioned before, I’ll be taking care of everything today.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And what does that imply?”
Instead of answering him, you grabbed his other hand and pulled off the vambrace. With that, he was completely stripped of his armour. Your fingers curled around the hem of his top before you pushed it up, revealing the toned body underneath. Your hand hovered just a breath away from Jing Yuan’s warm body for a moment before your fingertips made contact, grazing the taut surface of his chiselled muscles.
A soft groan escaped Jing Yuan as you felt him tense under your touch, his muscles flexing slightly beneath your lingering caress. You brought your lips to his toned chest, tenderly kissing along the sculpted contours, and you could’ve sworn that you felt his length throb.
One hand went down to his trousers, your fingers fluttered past the happy trail of silvery hair before it slipped under the waistband. He sharply inhaled when your hand coiled around his hot and pulsating length. You continued to smother his chest with kisses while you stroked your hand upwards. Your thumb traced along the slit of his tip, dragging the precome that had leaked out to coat around the tip.
A subtle tint of pink coloured his cheeks. “Must you continue to tease me?”
You chuckled, pulling away from him to sit up straight once more. “And here I was about to praise you for your patience, General.” you brought your hand to your mouth, licking your thumb to taste the salty fluid. “But I suppose even a man of your calibre has his limits when it comes to…pleasure. I just hope I don't disappoint.”
“You never do,” he said sincerely, causing your heart to skip a beat.
You recalled how it all started, as a flicker in your chest—respect and companionship were all you sought from him, but he offered more, becoming your sanctuary in your moments of despair. And you, as omniscient as you were, never once expected the flame to grow and consume every fibre of your being.
Love . The mortals praise and weep over such an emotion. Love . A foreign word that never sounded right when spoken aloud. Love . Yet another burden you carried deep within your heart, knowing all too well that mentioning it to Jing Yuan would only trouble him further.
You would smile and assure that everything was alright. Etch every little detail about his body into your memory, so that even in those cold and long nights, you would still be able to feel him. Imprint the sound of his voice in your mind, so that even when he wasn't around, you could still hear him—the way he called out your name, the lovely sound of his laughter. That should be enough to relieve the burden of loneliness, even if it was only temporarily.
✧ ─── ✦ ─── ✧
You boldly declared that you would be able to pleasure him, but you found yourself struggling to move with his thick length stretching you open. You attempted to control your breathing, placing your hands on his stomach for support before you rolled and lowered your hips simultaneously, accepting every inch of him.
“Take your time,” his words made you glance at him. His hands brushed the sides of your thighs, pushing your garment higher. “It’s been a while, has it not? There’s no rush—”
You interrupted him when you suddenly placed both hands behind you, grabbing his thighs to steady yourself. Once you felt comfortable in this new position, you leaned back and lifted your hips before slamming it down again. Jing Yuan had his eyes locked on where your hips met as you continued to bounce on him at a rhythmic pace. Feeling his eyes on you was making your body heat up, causing you to clench around him.
A startled gasp escaped you when you felt Jing Yuan’s strong hands seize your waist, his fingers pressing into your flesh. A shudder of pleasure coursed through your body; the mere sensation of his grasp affected you tremendously. You nearly moaned aloud, almost succumbing to your climax just from his touch.
“G-General…” you murmured as you slowed your pace. You wanted to tell him not to touch you as you couldn’t focus on pleasing him, but his grip tightened as you felt him take control, lifting you up before pulling you back down. “Ngh…!” you moaned, your hands swiftly grabbed onto his wrists.
“That’s not my name,” he reminded you, voice calm and collected. He continued to move your body, increasing the pace until you could barely keep up with him.
“S-Slow down…” you struggled to speak, as moans spilled out whenever you parted your lips.
He then propped himself up into a seated position, simultaneously pulling your body into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around your body effortlessly.
“Say my name,” his tender breath caressed your ear, causing flutters to form in your stomach. “I want to hear you say my name,”
He was moving your body at a slower pace now, but that didn’t matter as he continued to hold you close, burying himself deeper than before. You could feel him throbbing inside you, the head of his length brushing against your weakest spots.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, grabbing a fistful of his untied hair. “Jing Yuan…” you moaned. “Jing…Yuan—!”
He abruptly picked up the pace, pressing his lips on your clothed shoulder. “Nh…beautiful,” he breathed softly. “You’re so beautiful.”
You were completely inebriated by his touch, his scent, his voice—everything about him. Your mind swirled, your body ached, and your heart…felt alive again. This moment seemed surreal, as if you were living in a dream. You couldn’t grasp onto the reality that he was right there with you. You pressed your eyes shut, fearing that if you opened them, everything would dissipate like a mere illusion.
Your chests were pressed against each other, as if your hearts were moulded together, beating in perfect harmony. And that was the only indication that this was real.
You felt yourself being pulled back until you were looking at Jing Yuan’s face in a complete daze. He cupped your cheek, warm and gentle as always. He studied your expression for a moment, before smiling at you.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“...is this really happening?” you asked him, unsure why you blurted such a question in the first place.
A soft laugh could be heard before he planted an adoring kiss on your lips. He then slowly guided your body to place you down on your back. You could feel the coolness of the wooden floorboard permeating through your clothes. You stared at him, trapped in a lovelorn haze. His beautiful silver hair cascaded over his shoulders, and combined with the soft moonlight from outside, it bathed him in an ethereal glow.
“Shall I show you how real this moment truly is?” he asked, his soft smile still remained on his lips.
“Please…haa!”
His large frame covered you completely in this new position, your bodies pressed together in a warm and irritatingly tender embrace. You were expecting him to thrust into you without restraint, but instead, he moved slowly, allowing you to feel how he was spreading you open, stirring your insides to take his shape. Your mind was starting to go blank at that point.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
You nearly said it aloud, on the verge of allowing both pleasure and your emotions to overwhelm you. You snapped yourself out of it, knowing that if you openly expressed such words to Jing Yuan, then you would be securing the invisible knot that bound the both of you. How then would you set him free if he knew that your heart belonged to him?
He shifted above you, meeting your eyes before his expression turned serious. You tensed when he brought his hand to your face, thumb brushing over your mouth. “If you want to bite on something, I’m right here.” he said, and only then did you notice that you’ve been biting onto your bottom lip to prevent yourself from saying those accursed words.
Just as you stopped, he leaned in and fervently pressed his lips against yours. With that, he started to move faster, pounding you harder. You moan into his kiss, unconsciously wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, needing him deeper.
“I’m close…” he exhaled, causing the fine hairs on your body to stand on end. “Move your haa…legs…”
“Just like this, come with me…Jing Yuan.” you whispered against his lips.
He thrust his hips forward a couple of times before going completely still. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling his warm seed enter you and filling you to the brim. You clenched around him, leg muscles tightening and toes curling as your climax washed over you.
You heard him whisper your name, the adoration behind it made your heart ache, and tears nearly welled up in your eyes. If only this were a dream, it would be easier for you to deal with, easier for you to disregard the complexity of the situation you found yourself in.
He slowly pulled away from your body, allowing the cold air to greet you. You moved your legs, straightening them to the floor as you tried to catch your breath, but it was impossible when you locked eyes with Jing Yuan. You could still feel him, hard and eager inside you.
“You do not act your age, General.” you tease, raising an eyebrow at him.
Jing Yuan laughed at your remark. “Just once more, and we shall rest. Of course, only if you permit it.”
You thought about it for a second before pulling him down into a kiss. With that action alone, you hoped to convey to him that he could use you as many times as he wanted. You wanted him to drown you in pleasure until it consumed your every thought and became the only thing your deteriorating body could feel.
✧ ─── ✦ ─── ✧
You wrapped your clothing tighter around your frame, glancing down to make sure that your skin was properly covered. Even though you had your clothes on earlier, you couldn't stop worrying if Jing Yuan had seen what you were trying so hard to keep hidden.
When he suddenly called out your name, you tensed up, feeling his gaze piercing the back of your head. You slowly turned your head to look at him, only to feel a poke on your cheek. His golden eyes lazily watched your expression while his index finger pressed against your cheek. He sat cross-legged with an elbow propped on the low table next to him, resting his head on his hand.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, lightly dragging his finger down your face before pulling away.
“Nothing in particular…” you muttered, still able to feel his lingering touch.
“Is there a reason why you didn’t want to undress earlier?” he asked suddenly.
You repositioned your body to face him. “It’s exciting to do it clothed once in a while,” you joked, followed by a dry laugh.
He inched closer to you, holding your chin to make sure you didn’t look away. “I am worried about you.”
“There’s nothing to worry about.” you hastily told him, pushing his hand away.
“Have you lost your trust in me?”
You shook your head, surprised that he would think such a thing. “No, that’s not it at all! It’s just…hard to explain.”
“Try.” he demanded, tilting his head to catch your eyes, but you refused to look at him, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to lie to him any longer.
“...I…lo…” you mumbled.
“Lo?”
“Look at the time! You s-should probably head back before the Cloud Knights get worried.” you blurted out.
“I told Yanqing I will return in the morning—”
You quickly cut him off. “That’s no good, you shouldn’t push all your work on the boy. He is still—”
Jing Yuan grabbed your arm and pulled you into a suffocating hug. “Stop this…” he muttered.
“What are you talking about?” you asked, voice muffled as your face was pressed against his chest.
“Don’t push me away. I promised that I would help you… How am I supposed to do so when you continue to keep secrets?” he asked softly.
You were not used to seeing this side of him. You silently replayed his words in your mind over and over again, recalling the tremble in his voice and the desperation of his touch. You managed to pull away from his embrace, searching for his eyes.
“What have you been hiding from me?” he continued before you could act.
For a brief moment, you questioned whether he was aware of the emotions you had been concealing deep within your heart. “Whatever do you mean?” you asked, feigning ignorance.
“You have that look on your face, as though you want to say something,”
You took a deep breath to steel yourself. It was now or never , you thought. If you didn't tell him about your condition now, you would likely be long gone before having the chance to see him again.
“By now, you must be aware that the residual powers within me are eroding this mortal form... and my conviction is not strong enough to rectify my past mistakes. I am neither human nor an Aeon, so, if anything is in vain, Jing Yuan, it is your efforts to save me.”
“Don’t say such a thing,” he firmly stated.
“It is the truth,” you shrugged, allowing your top to slip off your shoulder, revealing your skin which was cracked, as though it were made out of glass. Jing Yuan's eyes widened at the sight, zoning in at the more prominent cracks in the centre of your chest. His hand unconsciously reached toward that area, but before he could make contact, you took hold of his hand. “It is not a pretty sight, so naturally I would want to hide it from you.” you continued, averting your gaze as you adjusted your top once more.
“When did this happen?”
“It doesn’t matter when. Even if you knew earlier, it would still happen. This change is inevitable.”
Jing Yuan maintained his silence, and for a short second, you harboured a glimmer of hope that he would drop this conversation, allowing both of you to retire for the night. However, his unwavering gaze shattered that hope. Your heart raced at the feeling of him peering down at you knowingly. He knew something; there was no doubt about it.
“What else are you hiding from me?”
✧ ─── ✦ ─── ✧
The silence of the night has always been both comforting and daunting to you, amplifying the feeling of solitude whenever Jing Yuan’s presence was absent. While you found solace in the company of the animals around, the continuous isolation from the world began to take its toll on you. Memories of your days as an Aeon faded, unable to recall what kind of being you were, but instead your thoughts were replaced by a continuous stream of moments spent by Jing Yuan's side.
You turned your body to the side, observing Jing Yuan’s sleeping face. Watching him in this peaceful state reminded you of the happy times you shared. Yet, entangled with those cherished memories was the painful realisation that your presence in his life was nothing but a burden—a ticking time bomb poised to shatter his benevolence.
Even though you wanted to believe that he had some ounce of affection for you, it was easier to accept that his visits stemmed from a sense of obligation. He is here for you because he was the one who found you when you were aimlessly wandering the empty void like a pitiful lost stray.
He provided for you, befriended you, and grew fond of you, while you remained trapped in an endless loop, desperately seeking ways to end your own suffering. Each time your attempts failed, Jing Yuan stood steadfastly by your side, determined to find a way to break you free from this agonising cycle. You couldn't dare to think, even for a moment, that his actions were driven by anything other than his profound sense of responsibility.
Soon, you found comfort in his presence, enveloped by the warmth he provided, allowing yourself to be momentarily distracted from the pain that gradually consumed your body. With each passing day, a sense of detachment grew within you, as if fragments of your very being were slipping away.
The weight of your existence became unbearable, and the realisation that your time was drawing to a close became undeniable. The death of an Aeon was not a foreign concept to you; from the very beginning when your resolve wavered, you knew that this was your fate.
You are plagued with vague thoughts, reminiscing about a hopeful dream where you once yearned to embark on a journey, shaping your own narrative like an artist with a brush in hand, striving to paint a new reality that you could control entirely. Yet, as you delve deeper into the depths of your mind, you encounter faint whispers of fate echoing in the distance. They speak of how your life was already inscribed within the stars, with your fate predetermined, like a pawn to destiny itself.
“You’re still awake?” His voice, deep with sleep, jolted you out of your thoughts.
You smiled at him as he struggled to keep his eyes open “How could I possibly sleep when being by your side brings such excitement?” you teased, hoping that your lighthearted tone would divert his attention from the quiver in your voice.
“You always know just what to say to stir my heart, my dear.” he whispered, closing his eyes as he blindly reached out to pull you into a hug. “Now, sleep, before you tempt me to keep you awake all night.”
Laughter escaped your lips, as a deep and comforting warmth bloomed within your chest, ridding the pain of your cracking skin. “Jing Yuan,” you whispered.
“Yes?” he replied.
“Jing Yuan…” you called out once more, listening to his steady heartbeat.
“Hm?” he sleepily hummed.
As he slowly drifts back into the realm of dreams, a surge of thoughts rushes through your mind, causing you to overthink what lies ahead. Will you be remembered when you depart from this world? Will the stars above welcome your return, or will they deny you eternal slumber?
But amidst those thoughts, what truly mattered was the hope that when the time came, you would find the strength to sever the tightly bound string that connected you to Jing Yuan. Would you be able to release him from his obligations, to allow him to move forward and forget about you, just as the world would inevitably do one day?
“...Jing Yuan,” you called out once more, barely a whisper. There was no answer, and his body remained still, not even a slight shift. “I love you.” you said, your tongue heavy with the weight of the words, as they murmured out in a feeble and vulnerable breath.
In the safety of Jing Yuan’s arms, you succumbed to the invitation of sleep. With closed eyes, you made the conscious choice to cast aside all your worries, oblivious to the fact that Jing Yuan was still awake.