Chapter Text
You were freezing. Your hooded onesie did little to protect you from the cool spring night, and the socks covering your feet did no good. The melting snow served as the remnants of winter, dampening the ground, and wetting your socks.
Your throat hurt, and your feet ached from all the walking. You don’t remember how long you’d been wandering, nor do you remember what the source of your throat pain was. Perhaps, it was raw from screaming, or maybe, the chilly weather was getting to you.
Your head was pounding due to a fall you suffered. That injury was a result of not watching where you were going as you fled, too focused on getting to safety to be mindful of your steps.
You rubbed at your watery eyes, the harsh winds drying your tears. You wanted to go home, but at this point, you had little memory of where that was. All you knew was that you were lying in bed one minute, struggling to sleep as your baby sister’s cries filled your shared room while your parents’ arguments bled through the walls. And the next, you were running away from your house, rapidly being consumed by blue flames.
You cried out as something impaled your foot, sending you to the ground as blood began to darken your dirtied white sock. You tried to get up, but a searing pain shot through your foot when you put weight on it, forcing you to remain in place. The fatigue you felt didn’t help matters in the slightest.
Your body began to tremble as you lay on the cold ground, grass and persistent clumps of snow sticking to your onesie. Your eyes grew heavy, but you were scared to close them. Your surroundings seemed to grow darker, heightening your fear.
Was this it? Had you run for nothing?
Maybe, it was better this way. You wouldn’t have lasted too much longer on your own, and if you gave into your tiredness, you could see your family again. Your parents hadn’t always been the kindest, but they were the only blood you had. And possibly, the afterlife would teach them compassion, and you all could have a second chance to be a true family, like the ones you saw on TV.
Perhaps it would be better if you permitted your eyes to close. There was nothing for you in the realm of the living, but you had people waiting for you on the other side.
You allowed your eyes to flutter shut, the faint sound of footsteps approaching not registering with you.
******
You awoke with a cough, which soon turned into a fit of sorts. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop coughing. Your throat was painfully dry, and the hacking only irritated it further.
Within minutes, a door swung open, revealing a small woman who looked to be in her 50s. Her greying black hair was piled on top of her head, and she wore a traditional kimono. On seeing the stranger, you realized you were no longer lying in the grass, but on a couch next to a blazing fire.
You cried out at the sight of the flames, foggy memories of burning heat resurfacing.
“It’s okay, dear, you’re safe!” the woman called out, hurrying to your side and handing you a glass of water.
You accepted and downed the cool liquid without thinking twice, soothing your parched mouth. When the cup was empty, you returned it to the woman, your cough quieting.
“Better?” she asked, placing it on the coffee table.
You nodded. “Yes.”
Your voice came out scratched, the disuse of it making it hard to talk. You noted your cut foot was now bandaged, and the stinging pain had disappeared. Your head still hurt, however.
“Good,” she said with a warm smile that put you at ease. “Now, I found you passed out on the path to the village. Can you tell me what happened?”
What did happen? Your brows furrowed as you tried to recall how you got into this predicament, but all you could remember were two things.
“There was a shadow...then a fire.”
Concern filled her large brown eyes. “There was a fire?”
You bobbed your head again. “The flames were blue.”
“You were wandering the forest…because of blue fire?” she questioned, confusion entering her voice. “Where are your parents, dear?”
“Dead.”
You’d heard their pained screams and hadn’t seen them escape. Tears welled in your eyes, a sob leaving you as you realized your baby sister met the same fate. She’d been the only one not to judge you, but you’d forgotten all about her in your frenzy.
“…Where are you from, sweetie?”
You shrugged and swiped at your eyes, unable to recall the name of your town. “I dunno.”
“…. Why don’t you get some rest, then we’ll travel to the city and bring you to the police in the morning?”
Your eyes widened, and you frantically shook your head. “No!”
The last time you’d interacted with the police, they’d taken you away from your home and brought you to a dirty mansion, filled with creepy crawlies and mean people.
She jumped, the volume of your voice taking her aback. “Okay, okay. I’ll just bring you to the village doctor tomorrow.”
“No police?”
“No police,” she confirmed, reaching into her pocket and producing a handkerchief, dabbing at your watery eyes. “Will you be comfortable staying here until we find a solution, sweetie?” You thought for a moment, then nodded. She was nice. The corners of her lips turned upward. “Okay, dear. Now, can you tell me your name?”
You tensed at the question. What was your name? Even before you ran, your given name was so rarely used, that it began to fade from memory. Your parents only called you girl, your teachers always referred to you as a troublemaker or a fibber, and your classmates labeled you a freak.
It didn’t help that reading and writing was a challenge. The words always appeared blurry and jumbled, and the way the pronunciation was explained made little sense to you.
You did, however, remember your family name, which you mumbled to the kind old lady.
She frowned when she heard, but still tried to mimic how you pronounced it, absolutely butchering it. “Sweetie, where is your family from?”
You shrugged. You, Mommy, and Daddy didn’t look like everyone else, but you didn’t know where they came from. Perhaps, they were born in Japan like you, as Japanese was the only language spoken at home.
“I dunno,” you whispered, fearing she’d grow angry at your ignorance.
The adults in your life always did. You were behind other kids your age, unable to comprehend what should be simple.
The woman, though, only smiled kindly at you. “Can I pick a name for you, dear, until you do remember?”
You doubt that’d happen. As much as their insults stung, you knew those that called you stupid weren’t wrong, evidenced by your poor memory.
Still, you nodded, and her smile only grew. You relaxed, the warmth she’d shown you comforting. “How about Izumi?”
“Izumi?” you repeated, testing the word on your tongue.
“It means spring,” she revealed. “Because I found you in the spring, that’s what you’ll be called.”
Izumi. You liked it. It was pretty, and you knew it was more traditional than your birth name. That was another point of contention at school, and your struggle to spell and pronounce it hadn’t helped.
“And I’m Rie,” she continued. You again mimicked her words, blushing as her smile grew. “That’s right!”
You shifted at her praise, unsure how to handle it. You knew how to deal with insults, not compliments, so you chose to redirect the topic of conversation.
“H-how long was I out?”
“I found you a few hours ago, sweetie. You didn’t have seemed to be passed out for long.”
“…Thank you for saving me.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Of course! I couldn’t allow a child to freeze, any person with a heart wouldn’t.”
You shrugged. You’d met many adults that you wouldn’t trust to save you, so you didn’t see it as a guarantee. Rei’s kindness was a luxury you hadn’t experienced before, so you most certainly wouldn’t take it for granted.
******
The next day, you walk hand-in-hand with Rei, trying to ignore the questioning stares from the villagers milling about. As you’d arrived in a dirtied onesie, Rei had to provide you with some clothing, the ill-fitting garments only drew more attention to you. It was a small town, probably housing no more than two hundred or so folks, with the paths not even being paved. Many of the buildings seemed to be traditional Japanese houses, save for a tiny schoolhouse and clinic. Japanese Cedar trees towered over the buildings, providing ample shade.
“W-where are we, Rei?”
Your location had been on your mind since you woke up, and seeing how small and rural Rei’s hometown is made you wonder how far you’d wandered. The town you’re from was small, with only about 5000 people, but it didn’t compare to this village. You doubted it was even on the map.
“Kuroki, sweetie.”
You nodded, quickly becoming distracted as a small humanoid-insect hybrid zipped past you. It wasn’t the first time you’d seen them, as the creatures frequented many areas of your town. However, every time you came across them, you were unsettled. Beyond just looking so odd, no one else ever acknowledged their presence.
No one ever believed you when you spoke of the monstrous beings you saw, so you’d learned to keep your mouth shut. So, when the thing settled on Rei’s shoulder, you tensed but kept silent. She rolled her shoulder at the newfound weight, a frown settling on her face.
You knew better than to take that as a sign that it was visible to her. You’d learned the hard way that being affected by one of the beings wasn’t a sign that they saw it. Strangely enough, only you saw them, but everyone seemed to be able to sense their presence.
“How’s your foot?” Rei asked as you two neared the clinic.
You perked up, the question presenting an opportunity.
“C-can I…lean against you?” you mumbled, your face flushing as you voiced the question.
Asking for help with such a simple action made you feel childish, but it had to be done. You weren’t comfortable touching her shoulder without explicit permission.
Rei faltered as sympathy entered her face. “Are you in so much pain, sweetie?”
Your foot wasn’t happy to be moving, and you’d been walking with a limp since your injury. However, that wasn’t the reason for your request. No, you wanted to get rid of that stupid monster.
Therefore, you nodded and did your best expression of puppy eyes. You probably looked ridiculous, but you’d learned to steel your face, not soften it. Former adults in your life didn’t take well to your attempts to gain their compassion, so you often tried to project the strength they expected from you. But Rei seemed different.
“Okay,” she said, stopping in her tracks. You didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her shoulder, her short height making the action easy. The monster was now grabbable, so you flung it off her shoulder, trying not to giggle at the squeak it made. She put her arm around you, and the two of you resumed walking. “Better?”
“Much,” you confirmed, glaring at the flying abomination as it buzzed away before it stopped in front of a boy who looked to be about your age.
He was covered in dirt and his hair was tousled as if he’d been rolling around in the mud. He looked tall for his age, but he was thin, and even through the grime you could tell he had a babyface.
His eyes followed the thing, as did yours. When he realized what you were looking at, he soon turned to you with an agape mouth. Your brows furrowed before your eyes widened as you realized what he just did, your mouth falling open as you and Rei entered the small but modern clinic.
He looked directly at the monster. He could see them, too.
Never had you met anyone else who could also see them, so the fact that that boy had boggled your mind.
“Okay, we’re here, sweetie,” Rei announced, snapping you out of your stupor.
“Okay,” you murmur, taking a seat as she approached a nurse.
The clinic was incredibly small, only having about six chairs scattered throughout the small waiting room, stationed around a door that presumably leads to the exam rooms.
The two women chitchat for a minute before Rei was handed a clipboard with a form. You couldn’t help but notice the nurse’s disgruntled expression as she gave you a wary stare, putting you on edge. You already weren’t a fan of doctors. You hated the way they examined you so closely and the questions they’d asked you, ones that would inevitably anger your parents if you answered truthfully.
A large shadow whizzed by, making you even more rigid, and the nurse quickly looked away as it inched closer to her.
“How old are you, sweetie?” Rei questioned, not looking away from the clipboard.
You froze, thinking for a moment. Your eyes began to water as you struggled to think of the answer to such a simple question. Your birthdays were never celebrated, and you were in a lower grade than you should be, making the answer unclear.
Rei, having taken note of your silence, raised her head to look at you. “Do you know, Izumi?”
You bit back a sob as you shook your head, embarrassment making your cheeks flame. You should know, but for the life of you, you couldn’t conjure the answer. That was the case with most basic information about yourself, and it made you feel utterly stupid.
“…Can you give me an estimate, sweetie?”
You thought again, before swiping your eyes and nodding. “I think I should be in third grade.”
It wasn’t the answer she was searching for, but the grade you were supposed to be in should hint toward your age.
“So…you should be about eight or nine?”
Hesitantly, you nodded again. That range sounded about right.
She scribbled something down on the board and flipped the papers to the next page. “I’m going to read off some symptoms, okay? Just nod if it applies to you, shake your head if it doesn’t.”
Okay, that sounded simple enough.
“Any allergies?”
You shook your head no.
“Do you have any conditions, sweetie?”
You pause, before shaking your head.
For such a small town, you would’ve thought seeing a doctor would be an in-and-out process. But that wasn’t the case. The questionnaire continued for an ungodly amount of time with no being the answer for everything. Save for fatigue, headaches, and bone, joint, or muscle pain/weakness.
Then, she got to the mental health section.
“Uhm, there are some…difficult questions a part of the screening process. Are you comfortable with answering them?”
You tried to get a peak at the paper, but the words were all muddled together, so it proved to be moot. Seeing as you didn’t know the nature of the questions, you decided to take a leap of faith and give your permission.
“Sure.”
At your confirmation, she took a breath, then read the first one. “In the past few weeks, have you wished you were dead?”
Oh.
You opened your mouth, then closed it again, Memories of the previous night flood your mind, of how you accepted your death when all seemed hopeless, of the way you wished you could fall asleep and never awake as your parents screamed at each other. Deciding that was applicable, you gave a single nod.
Rei stiffened, before checking off a box. You averted your gaze, staring at the main door and jumping when it suddenly burst open. The little boy from before ran in, pausing as he set sights on you, before dashing to the nurse.
“Mama,” he greeted, just loud enough for you to hear.
“Have you ever made…any plans, sweetie?” Rei asked, returning your attention to her.
You shook your head. You’d contemplated throwing yourself from your classroom window when the bullying got too bad, but your fear of heights always got the best of you.
She returned to her form, and you set your sight back on the boy, who was being given a talking to by his mother. The earlier incident piqued your interest, as the prospect of knowing someone like you was exciting. Maybe, if he saw them too, he’d be like Rei and make you feel welcome.
Maybe, if Rei allowed it, you could turn this village into the home you’d never had.