Work Text:
Dear Mom,
I wish you were here with me now. I need you here to help me because I don't know how to deal with all the things that have happened to me since I left home.
I know I made a promise to you, Mom, that I would do everything in my power to return home and free Ala Mhigo from the Empire's oppression. While I didn't think the journey would be simple, I didn't expect to encounter so much disdain for our people outside our doors. I thought that everyone who left us would have found a better life for themselves in Eorzea, but they fare no better here. I've had to keep my heritage a secret for fear that I would be treated the same.
I didn't think it would be this hard.
They call us lazy, oafish, stupid. They turn a blind eye to our suffering, thinking only of their own ambition. This city... Ul'dah is so filled with wealth and prosperity but only for the few at the top. They hoard resources and let the rest suffer. It's so opposite to what you taught me that I can't help but be filled with rage. I hate that I have to hide who I am to appease these types of people and to get them to trust me. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
But despite all of that, I did manage to accomplish my first goal and finally became a Monk. I trained under Hamon Holyfist as a Pugilist first, then happened to meet a full-fledged Monk through my tasks with the guild. It happened so quickly. It's only been about a year or so and I've become so much stronger. But I know that I have more to learn though and I'm not ready to return home just yet.
And even if I can't send you this, I wanted to write this letter because I don't know how to handle the things that have recently happened in my journey to become a Monk. I don't know how to tell you either. I survived an attempt on my life by the same person who trained me. I've even.. come to question my motives for saving Ala Mhigo, having seen such differing perspectives during my time here. I feel like a dormant power has awakened within me.
I've had visions, Mom, visions of things that I know have passed, even if I was never there when they did. I don't know how to explain it. But my mentor... he told me he'd spoken to an Ala Mhigan man in the resistance not too long ago, and at first, I thought nothing of it. But when I mulled over his words later, I saw it - I saw their conversation.
And Mom...
He was speaking to Dad. I think Dad is alive.
I don't know how to explain to you how I know that what I saw was true, but I think he's alive and he's still fighting for our home. I saw him and heard his voice, even if he couldn't see me or hear my own. But I don't know if I can even trust my senses. I've missed him for so long that I don't know if what I saw was just a wish or a dream, cobbled together with the people I've met and things I've witnessed over the last year. My heart's deep desire to see our family reunited.
I know I need to stay focused so I can come home to you. Especially if... if Dad is alive, then maybe I can work with him, maybe, maybe I can bring him back home. But... I can't get my hopes up because I don't know if what I saw is the truth or just a fevered dream.
But I want it so desperately Mom. I want him to be alive. I want our family to be together again.
Anyway, I should go. Maybe one day I'll be able to send this letter to you.
Love,
Renna