Chapter Text
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Beca’s chest has been tightening up for weeks as the day of Chloe’s graduation draws near. With each passing day, the noose around her neck and the rest of her body becomes tighter, squeezing the air out of her lungs. With little space remaining for movement or escape.
She’s trapped. She’s panicking.
It’s slow torture. Secretly, she has been swallowing her tears and trying to put on a smile to make it easier for them—for Chloe—knowing that her girlfriend has been putting on a façade herself, to be brave about their looming split. For leaving Beca.
“We don’t have to do this,” Chloe told Beca while crying vigorously in her arms. That was a month ago when they first brought up the subject.
“I know,” Beca had forced out, her cheeks soaked with her own tears while holding her girlfriend close, “but we talked this over before. It’ll only get harder and harder and we’d end up breaking up over a phone call or text. We both don’t want that.”
“Please, don’t do this,” Chloe had sobbed heavily. “Please…”
“We still got a month left, babe,” Beca had uttered, kissing her forehead tenderly and swallowing the knot in her throat, “we’ll make the most of it.”
Throughout the process of planning the graduation party for their two senior Bellas, Beca pretended to be okay. While she and Chloe have been packing Chloe’s moving boxes, she has feigned to be excited about helping Chloe while simultaneously disregarding the fact that the noose around her neck is tightening way too quickly. Her plan was to hold back her tears until Chloe was completely out of sight in the cab. There will be no more crying in front of her girlfriend. For Chloe’s sake, she needs to be strong.
Beca still has three years left of college, and she can’t afford to make the trip to New York to see her girlfriend on a regular basis. And Chloe would be overburdened with settling into life in Brooklyn, completing her studies as an animal-assisted therapist, doing a part-time job, and saving money for her trip to Georgia to pay a visit to Beca once in a while. They’d talked about this. When they first started talking about future possibilities, it was difficult since neither of them could picture burdening the other to this extent.
Thus, once Chloe got into the cab, it was over between them.
However, they have agreed to stay friends. Stay in touch with each other without any obligations. No commitments, no hard feelings… if ever one of them decided to date other people again.
To solidify her promise, Chloe has given Beca the spare keys to her new apartment, so she may come over whenever she wants to. There are, once again, no strings attached. This is to reassure Beca that she is always welcome and will always have a place in Chloe’s life, regardless of their relationship status.
Since Chloe and Aubrey, as graduating seniors, had a lot on their plates with preparing for final exams and organizing their moves, they had to miss further chorus group rehearsals. Aubrey has decided to remain in Georgia, where she has connections to find work as a Pilates instructor. She has already found a studio apartment that she will be moving into next month.
Over the past two weeks, Chloe has been methodically organizing her belongings in her dorm room, putting away the items she rarely uses. Her cabinet, desk, and shelves are all mostly empty. She hasn’t decided if she’ll bring her furniture to the new place or sell it, considering that she could use the money.
As graduation day approached, traces of her college years faded from view. And while Beca watches her girlfriend be her usual upbeat, cheerful, and enthusiastic self about the move, Beca feels the noose around her neck tightening.
They had a wonderful few months together, as girlfriends.
At first, they had tried to keep their relationship a secret from their friends, but it quickly became impossible as they could barely keep their hands off each other. Their relationship was quickly revealed to be more than platonic. The first to call it was Fat Amy. So, they didn’t deny it.
The first person they had officially told about their relationship was Stacie, Chloe’s roommate. Because Beca came over to visit Chloe quite regularly, excusing themselves to discuss captain issues, but Stacie wouldn’t give them the privacy they had hoped for, thinking that it was them hanging out. After they came out to Stacie as being a romantic couple, Stacie got the hint that they wanted to spend time together. So, she would give them the privacy they needed to have for themselves.
Even though they will be breaking up, it doesn’t keep Beca from putting all of her efforts into this relationship one last time.
She wants it to be memorable for them both, something Chloe would never forget. Thus, she’s been planning a surprise for her with the help of two of the Bellas.
She remembers that one time when Chloe once told her about her sexiest and dirtiest fantasy once. They weren’t dating or doing this “friends with benefits” thing yet when Beca had no idea about Chloe’s secret business yet.
That time, Chloe got back from her date, drunk, nagging about the guy she had been planning to have sex with but ended up ditching because of his “attitude.” In fact, Chloe had always found something to complain about the guys she was going out with, no matter how trivial or nonsensical those things were. She always found an excuse to ditch them and then later complained to Beca about them.
“Chloe, seriously?” Beca had scoffed at her friend one day, when Chloe, not for the first time, had barged into her dorm room, drunk. Luckily, her roommate, Kimmy, was at her parents’ at that time. “Because he chewed on his nails? What kind of excuse is that?”
“What if he also chewed on his toenails?” Chloe exclaimed in horror. “Ugh. The thought made me sick.”
“Why would you even imagine something like that on your first date?” Beca had retorted. “I thought he was cute?”
“So?”
Another time she’d complained about the guy’s lisp, about the guy being “too nice,” being “too obtuse to take a hint,” sometimes they were “too nitpicky,” have “too little confidence,” others were “too cocky.” Little things she found about them somehow always got under her skin. And every time, she came to Beca to complain.
Sometimes, Chloe hooked up with them. She only told Beca about those times when Beca directly asked her. Because Chloe didn’t keep secrets from Beca.
Except for the fact that Chloe had been giving sexual services to women in exchange for cash.
Had Beca not confronted Chloe about her side hustle, Chloe would have never mentioned it. They had never gotten together because of it, and Chloe would have never stopped selling her body for cash.
Beca still thinks Chloe is the most stunning woman on the planet, in spite of her previous conduct. She’s perfect. And just because of a few wrong decisions to make ends meet, doesn’t give anybody the right to judge her.
You never know what a person is going through until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
“You know what I’ve always wanted to try with someone?” Chloe had asked cheekily when they both hung out after their rehearsal. After one of Chloe’s unsuccessful dates.
“What?”
“Promise to keep it a secret? Because it’s kinda naughty,” Chloe had said.
“Just spill,” drawled Beca as they walked toward their dormitories, knowing almost all of her friend’s sexual activities because of Chloe’s free-spirited mind.
Then Chloe let Beca in on her deepest, dirtiest fantasy. Including specifics on where and when she envisioned the sexual act taking place and her preferred method of being toyed with and railed. The one thing her lover needed to do to make her want to get down and dirty.
Beca had swallowed at the thought of it, her face grown heated from visualizing that image.
However, throughout their little time together, they had never tried that. They had great sex, sure, like all the time.
Now, Beca puts the last check mark on her list. She got all the items needed with the help of her friends. She’s been preparing this as a last gift for her girlfriend.
At last, graduation day eventually rolled around. The ceremony was filled with emotions. There have been embraces and congratulations given out, and a lot of tears have been shed in abundance. Heartfelt speeches have been held. Parents and relatives came to celebrate. Following right after was Chloe and Aubrey’s private graduation party. They took their two ex-Bella members out for dinner at the local restaurant one last time as a group.
The night winds down as the girls enjoy themselves chatting with Aubrey and Chloe, exchanging experiences, and listening to them talk about her hopes and aspirations for their future jobs.
They took two cabs back to campus. Beca gives Jessica and Stacie the signal to get ready because this one would be the hard part.
They exchange their goodbyes with the other Bellas, and now all of them disperse to their respective dorms but only Stacie and Jessica fall behind.
As they stroll across campus, Chloe is too caught up in the present to notice anything beyond Beca’s hand in hers.
“Chloe,” Beca says after a silent moment and pulls at her girlfriend’s arm. They halt in their tracks, causing Chloe to stagger. “I… um… let’s talk for a sec.”
“Yeah, sure…”
Beca sees her two other friends standing a little away from them, goofing around and chatting animatedly about something, to give them some privacy. Chloe would need them after this; she doesn’t question their peculiar behavior in any way, either.
“Would you trust me one last time?”
“Babe, of course, you know I would,” Chloe replies without hesitation, and firmness. “What’s this about?”
She lets go of Chloe’s hand, kisses her cheek, and smiles. “I… I didn’t want to do this out of the blue, but I have to. And I think I’d also need it. It’ll be easier this way.”
“W-What is it?” Chloe looks anxiously at her.
“Us breaking up.”
Chloe’s face turns ashen.
Beca smiles weakly and drops her gaze. “Let’s get this over with officially. I know we both agreed that it would be automatically over once you leave Barden. We agreed on that, yeah. But I want an official breakup. Now, Chloe. Let’s end it now.”
Beca stares back at Chloe, her bright blue eyes instantly filling with tears. And Beca wants to take her words back immediately.
“Is that alright with you?”
“B-Bec, I don’t understand,” Chloe stammers, clutching her chest and suddenly looking like she has trouble breathing. “Why all of the sudden? Why now? We still have tomorrow. Did I do anything wrong?”
“No, you didn’t,” Beca says. “I just wanted an official breakup, is all. A clear cut. This isn’t easy for me either, Chloe, please. This is also kinda wrong timing, I know. Especially if we just celebrated your graduation.” She takes a deep breath. “We’re still friends, but I can understand if we need time and space after this.”
“What am I supposed to say to that?” Chloe snaps, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“I won’t be there tomorrow,” Beca informs her, “so, I’m saying goodbye now and I wish you well with your new life, Chloe.”
“Beca…” Chloe sobs, shaking all over. “Don’t do this…”
Then Beca just turns and looks over from Chloe to her two other friends. This hurts so much... But what else is she going to do? Either break up now and it’s over officially or see Chloe off tomorrow and it’d be over, anyway. Which would be just as devastating.
And she needs to do this to make her plan work. And if it backfires on her, then screw it. At least, she tried.
“Chlo, it’s fine,” Jessica says, now standing beside a sobbing Chloe, and holding her back. “It’s fine. We’re here for you.”
“N-No, why?” Chloe demands, struggling out of Jessica’s hold. Stacie steps before Chloe and takes her in her arms. “Did you guys know about this? Is this why you stayed back?”
“We knew, yeah…” is what Beca hears Stacie telling Chloe before she walks away completely.
.
Chloe’s alarm clock goes off at 7 a.m. the next day. Her eyes feel puffy from all the crying last night. Stacie is still asleep, snoring soundlessly when her alarm clock goes off ten minutes later.
Jessica and Stacie had stayed with her and brought her back to her dorm, where Stacie took over to comfort her. Jessica had helped Chloe pack her remaining stuff into her bag, while neither of them spoke a word about Beca and their sudden split. The two younger Bellas had tried to distract Chloe about her move, how exciting living in Brooklyn would be, what kind of things Chloe would be trying out first, or the places she’d like to visit first.
An hour later, Chloe waits in front of the main gate for her cab to arrive. Her friends have gathered to tell her and Aubrey goodbye.
Except for Beca, who didn’t show up.
Constantly looking over the heads of people, Chloe feels her heart clenching when Beca still does not show up as the cab arrives and the driver loads her luggage into the trunk.
“Chlo, hon, we will miss yah girl,” Cynthia Rose says in her raspy voice when she hugs Chloe goodbye, “you be good. Text or call us, cap’s.”
“Send us a quick text when you arrive in Brooklyn,” Aubrey tells her, hugging Chloe afterward. Her cab would be arriving hours later, but she wanted to say goodbye to Chloe.
“Will do, Bree. Call me when you get to your new place,” Chloe says tearfully.
Ashley and Lilly give her a group hug, while Lilly pinches her cheek, mumbling something unintelligible. Her eyes bulge open as she speaks.
Fat Amy gives her a huge bear hug, squeezing the air out of her. “You were a great capt’n, Ginger. But certainly, our Shortcake will do a good job takin’ over us.”
“Amy, no!” Stacie exclaims and warns her with narrowed eyes, “Shut up!”
Chloe’s eyes instantly start to sting, but there are no tears left to shed. The thought that Beca won’t be coming anymore breaks her heart so much. Even Fat Amy notices the tension, understands that something isn’t right and that the two captains have broken up.
“Sorry, you’ll do better, I’m sure,” Fat Amy says and earns a smack from Stacie. “Ouch! What’s your goddamn problem? I’m just saying that she’ll do better!”
Jessica takes Chloe into her arms. “Take good care of yourself. We will visit you soon,” she says and kisses Chloe’s cheek.
It’s Stacie’s turn to say goodbye—her roommate for a year but with whom Chloe has grown close so fast.
“I love you, captain, be good,” Stacie sniffs. “I didn’t want to cry but I’ll miss you, I can’t help it.”
“I’m not out of this world, guys,” Chloe says. She turns to the group again. “You guys take care of yourselves and I want to hear updates on your successes, all right?” The group gives her their affirmation and a collective squeal of melancholic smiles and giggles. She turns to Stacie again, speaking in a low voice, “Please tell her that I’m not mad at her, okay? Tell her I’ll miss her and will call her when I arrive in New York.”
Stacie nods but seems hesitant. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out something, pressing it into Chloe’s hand.
“Read this before you arrive at your apartment,” Stacie instructs her, her eyes firm and leaving her no room to argue. “Not sooner. Alright? I repeat, read this before you arrive at your apartment. Not in the cab. Not at the airport. Not on the plane. No, not sooner. And she says she’s sorry she couldn’t bid you goodbye, but she’s got an interview at 9, which she cannot miss. As far as I know, she wants to start an internship at a recording studio, but I’m sure she’ll tell you the details soon.”
“I understand,” Chloe says weakly, tucking the note away.
Nodding and smiling at her friends, Chloe picks up her handbag. She isn’t crying anymore. Her eyes are dry. Her emotions dull. Her heart is hollow, leaving behind an ache she had no idea could hurt so deeply.
And Beca didn't even bother to show up.
.
THREE MONTHS AGO
“Beca, where are we even going?” Chloe giggled while keeping a firm grip on Beca’s hand.
Having spontaneously come up with this plan, Beca looked back at her beautiful girlfriend, smiling coyly when she pulled at Chloe’s arm to bring her closer. She just couldn’t resist kissing her.
“Do you know how hard it is to find a place where you have not been… busy before?” Beca asked and dropped her eyes to the ground. She felt Chloe tilting her chin back up, bright blue eyes reassuring her. Beca added a little sorrowfully, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… I just want to make the most of our short time together and make it special for you.”
“I know, babe, and you know that for me all of this with you is special,” Chloe said and kissed her deeply.
They had traveled for a few hours by public transit to get to the urban Piedmont Park which had a large lake at its center named Clara Meer, which Georgia was known for, and took a hike there. Even if Beca hated going on hikes or doing any sports activities, she also knew that Chloe loved it. And they hadn’t been to this park before.
It was not quite a lake, but given that Atlanta was landlocked, it did its purpose. It was huge, with lots of stone balustrades scattered around the park, several miles of paved paths suitable for walking, running, biking, and inline skating, picnic shelters located just to the East of the north soccer field, grills for barbeque, “Playscapes” for children, a sports field, and a dock for fishing. And a few smaller tourist attraction spots where they took selfies together.
After hiking for about three hours around the lake as their date activity, the late afternoon had turned foggy and chilly. Luckily, they were dressed for the weather condition, and Beca had even brought a blanket for their picnic.
The fog made it almost impossible to see anything within a foot distance as they walked through the woodland. As the sun dipped below the horizon, Beca felt her girlfriend’s hand tighten firmly on hers.
“We should head back,” Chloe suggested.
Beca dragged her along a pathway, checking her phone for the directions on the map at regular intervals. Due to the weather conditions, fewer people were strolling around the area, and they still had time to do their final activity—the pinnacle of this date.
Behind a mossy tree trunk that was shielded by shrubbery and thick bushes, she pressed her girlfriend against the bark and kissed her deeply, eliciting soft moans from Chloe. Behind them was the open lake, but there was a thick layer of fog covering its surface, obscuring them from unwanted views.
She felt Chloe melting in her arms and returning to kiss her with equal passion, her arms encircling Beca’s neck and holding her close.
“Bec, you’re so naughty,” Chloe giggled as Beca gave her throat open-mouthed kisses, “really, here in public? Are you sure?”
“Sshhh, you can’t be loud, though, or we’re both fucked,” Beca warned her with a mischievous grin as she unfastened her girlfriend’s jeans and pulled them down a little.
“Ohh, hopefully,” Chloe giggled.
Beca kept an eye open in case the fog wandered and revealed them. Her ears perked up for any sounds of twigs breaking or the voices of people approaching or stumbling across them. Heavily breathing, she rubbed her girlfriend over her panties and applied pressure at the right spots, to tease her, causing her to grow damp quickly. Chloe squirmed and bucked against her hand, her whimpers were stifled and only audible to Beca. But still, she cautioned her, “Psshh, be quiet, Chlo. Sshhh… Now turn around.”
Squealing in excitement, Chloe did as instructed, her eyes sparkling with lust. She leaned forward against the mossy tree bark as Beca pushed her underwear aside and her fingers slowly began massaging her soaked folds from behind, teasing her and touching her where she needed her the most. Chloe bit on her knuckles and rocked against her hand.
“Ready?” Beca asked, her voice throaty and demanding. Chloe tilted her head slightly to nod, watching her expectantly. “Come on, face forward.” Chloe rolled her eyes and looked away, while Beca reached into the pocket of her backpack. She didn’t tell Chloe that she had borrowed her sex toy from her drawer, which they had occasionally used during their sexy times together whenever they had the dorm to themselves.
She teased with the tip of the pink toy at Chloe’s entrance, then slowly eased inside, which made Chloe grunt a little louder.
“Shit, Chlo, be quiet,” Beca reminded her again, her heart racing as she eased deeper into the slick entrance until she felt resistance. She pulled it slowly back out again, then slipped inside until she was moving it at a slow pace in and out of her girlfriend.
Chloe let out a shuddering moan. “Fuck, babe, that feels good, keep going.”
Beca did as she was told, moving the toy at a rhythmic pace and growing faster with each thrust. She grabbed Chloe’s hair and gradually yanked it back, careful not to hurt her. Even if Chloe loved it a little bit rough, even if her girlfriend had told her many times before that it was okay to pull her hair, Beca could never be careful enough when she was trying to be aggressive.
Thrusting more fiercely into Chloe while clutching her hair and pulling, Beca spoke into her girlfriend’s ear, hushing her yet again. When her moans grew louder and erratic, she knew Chloe was close, so she clasped that same hand over Chloe’s mouth and thrust faster. Until Chloe grabbed behind her to hold her as she shuddered and grunted in Beca’s hand.
After a few seconds of riding out her orgasm, Chloe collapsed forward and Beca removed the toy from inside her, quickly readjusting her girlfriend’s panties and covering her rear.
“Fuck, I thought I heard people coming,” Beca said, looking cautiously around them. She used a wet wipe to clean their toy and threw it back into her backpack’s side pocket.
“No, was just me,” Chloe said jokingly when she fixed her jeans.
Beca grabbed her hand and pulled at her arm, adjusting Chloe’s sweater at her back since she looked like a sexy mess right now. “Let’s get going before the fog clears.”
“What? You don’t want to?”
“You can get me next time,” Beca said, her heart pounded so fast because she’d never tried anything like this before, but for her girlfriend, she wanted to be a little bit sexually adventurous. “This is a fucking national park. I don’t want to get caught.”
“Yeah, but that’s where the fun lies,” Chloe told her and pressed her back against the mossy tree trunk. “Let’s just pull your jeans down a little bit. And seriously, you need to relax.”
“Chloe, no. Let’s do this at my dorm,” Beca whined, clutching at her girlfriend’s hands and pushing her playfully away with her forehead. She was too tense. “Let’s ask Kimmy Jin or Stacie to leave for an hour for this.”
Chloe’s tongue poked out and wetted her bottom lip, distracting Beca for a moment. She leaned in to whisper into Beca’s ear, while she worked on unfastening and zipping down Beca’s jeans. There was a rustle in the wind, the misty fog still heavy and thick, like a curtain obscuring them.
“Nobody will see. I’ll just use my fingers, babe. Okay?” she said, voice sweet and beseeching. “Nobody is even taking a walk here right now. It’s just us. And behind us is the lake. We walked through a bush to reach this location, which is behind this tree’s enormous trunk. I’ll keep an eye open while you let me touch you. Please?”
Beca thought about that, looked around them again, and perked her ears up once more. Aside from the soft wind in the branches and animals scurrying across the foliage, she could hear nothing.
“Jesus, I… but quick,” Beca stammered, sighing but relenting. She couldn’t resist if her girlfriend looked at her with those big puppy eyes and smirked at her with those alluring lips. Chloe squealed quietly, leaning in to kiss her deeply. “But you keep watch?”
“Of course. Just let go for once and trust me,” Chloe whispered into her ear.
She pulled Beca’s jeans down to her hips and slid her right hand down her underwear, her fingers finding the spot that made Beca buck against her, coaxing a long sigh of pleasure from her.
“You’re wet already,” Chloe told her, a satisfied smile on her lips.
“It’s still from fucking you, that’s why,” Beca grumbled, a bit irritated by her girlfriend’s teasing because there was seriously no time for that. “Why are you touching me so slowly? I mean, I normally enjoy that but we need to make it quick.”
“Let me enjoy this a little bit,” came the breathy voice that spoke directly into Beca’s ear, teeth biting on her earlobe.
Beca held on tighter onto her girlfriend, trying to conceal the act between them with her jacket as she looked around them.
Chloe used two fingers to stroke her folds up and down through the wetness, her eyes closed as she leaned back in to do a licking motion into Beca’s mouth, mirroring what her fingers were doing between Beca’s legs. Beca shuddered as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s neck, to pull her in more, enjoying the sensation of her ministrations.
Growing frustrated, Beca tried to signal to hurry by rocking her hips faster to meet Chloe’s fingers, for her girlfriend to pick up the pace. But Chloe would lessen the pressure and only continue when Beca stopped moving. She kept stroking with two fingers across the slick folds, and her tongue doing the same motion in Beca’s mouth.
Drawing back a little, Beca looked at her girlfriend’s heavy-lidded eyes staring back at her, her flushed cheeks, her mouth slightly parted, craving more than this. She knew what Chloe wanted to do, but Beca felt too tense to allow it. She felt anxious about getting caught with her girlfriend’s head between her legs. That would be embarrassing, humiliating. What if they get caught? This was literally public indecency, which was a fucking crime.
But not a mere moment ago, she had used a sex toy on her girlfriend without any of these worries. And it was fantastic to let go… because she did it for Chloe.
She felt the sweet pleasure already building, growing a little, but Chloe kept easing the pressure to prevent it from expanding, from releasing. She was teasing Beca with this sweet torture.
As Beca panted and arched her head back, she pulled her jeans further down and said in a ragged voice, “Okay, do it, please.”
Not needing to be told twice, Chloe was instantly on her knees and her mouth on Beca’s clit, licking her with the flat of her tongue, quickly and eagerly.
Beca’s guttural moan filled the air for the next few seconds before she realized that she needed to be quiet, her hips bucking against Chloe’s warm mouth, as her girlfriend kept hold of her, pulling her closer and letting her mouth and tongue do their work.
God, it felt amazing. Every time Chloe did this with her mouth, Beca could explode right away.
Chloe was perfect in every way, and she always showed Beca how much she enjoyed doing this to her.
As Beca placed her hands on Chloe’s head, felt the rhythm of her bobbing head beneath her, felt the faint vibrations of her moans against her, she knew she couldn’t hold it back any longer. The moment Beca opened her eyes to look down, she instantly came apart. She didn’t restrain to be vocal, her whimpering almost a cry of pure pleasure that washed over her, hitting her with full force.
“Chloe… God, that’s… fuck… fuck…”
Once Beca’s orgasm subsided, Chloe moved back up and kissed her, while Beca quickly fixed her jeans and clothes.
“I thought you wanted to keep it down?” Chloe teased, chuckling and smiling mischievously.
“Let’s head back,” Beca said, shaking her head to disregard that comment. Her head felt heated. She pulled at her girlfriend’s arm and led her through the bushes, back to the pathway. “Text Stacie we need the room.”
Chloe’s response was a happy squeak as she squeezed Beca’s hand.
“I need to return the favor.”
.
The entire ride from the airport to her new apartment through the busy streets of Brooklyn, Chloe has been quiet and in deep thought. Even the cab driver provided her with the privacy she needed, only asking her if it was her first time in NYC, misinterpreting her silence for being overwhelmed by the whole situation. Chloe nodded and signaled the driver with a courteous smile that she was exhausted and didn’t want to chat.
In her right hand, she has been clutching a small sapphire, blue-colored velvet ring box, which content Chloe had intended to give Beca before she would leave Barden. But sadly and unexpectedly, Beca had ended their relationship and wouldn’t answer Chloe’s messages anymore. Now, this stupid thing in her hand is nothing but a useless object, a horrible reminder that her heart can never be the same again. Chloe makes sure to sell it next thing when she has settled in her apartment.
How stupid and naïve of her to believe this could’ve saved their relationship somehow.
The cab halts in front of Chloe’s new home, this run-down, low-rental apartment building in its deplorable condition beside a pawnshop and drug store. The only place she could afford by herself for the first few months until she got a regular part-time job while completing her training for the next few years as an animal-assisted therapist.
People pass her like she’s invisible. They just bump into her without even looking up or apologizing.
With a heavy heart, she thanks the cab driver for helping her carry her luggage and placing it into the building’s foyer. She hands him a tip, and he nods courteously as he leaves.
Chloe sends her friends in Atlanta a text message in their group chat, letting them know that she has arrived safely in Brooklyn, and will video call them these next few days after their rehearsal.
Truth is, she needs time to gather her thoughts.
Her messages to Beca remained unread. All of them. Even those from last night. All of Chloe’s pathetic messages, begging Beca to pick up the phone, asking her to “talk about this.” Each pathetic text was followed by an angry one, cursing at Beca, for doing this, how immature she was behaving, that Beca didn’t need to contact her again. And her two friends had kept Chloe from going to Beca’s dorm to confront her—that’s why the two girls had stayed back with Chloe. Beca had planned this. Fuck her!
Followed by all the angry texting came Chloe’s begging and pleadings again. Until her friends had taken her phone away for her own sake.
Chloe ought to be the older, more mature one of the two. But judging her messages to Beca, she was the contrary.
Because her heart’s been broken.
After Chloe has somehow managed to get all of her luggage upstairs to her floor, she looks for her apartment key in her jacket pocket and feels a piece of paper inside.
Ah, Beca’s note, she thinks and wonders if she should read it. Stacie handed it to her with the instructions to read it when she arrives at her apartment.
She is still mad and angry that Beca has been ignoring her. But Chloe is also curious about the letter. What could she have written that she couldn’t tell Chloe in person, through text, or a call?
What if it’s a farewell letter?
“God, Chloe,” she grumbles and closes her eyes, “don’t be so dark.”
It’s a thin, neatly folded piece of parchment, smelling of Beca’s perfume.
Chloe unfolds it. Recognizes Beca’s handwriting. Reads it.
She blinks at the four words she reads over and over again.
‘Your safeword is Titanium.’