Work Text:
Neon Carnival is the main Coachella afterparty, as it has been for years. Almost all the performers as well as a slew of other celebrities attend, and as the Saturday night headliner, Blackpink are the de facto guests of honor at the event. Everyone is tripping over themselves to offer congratulations, get a picture with them, or simply shake their hands.
And of course, they all want to know where Lisa is.
Lisa had gotten an invitation to the afterparty of Revolve, a festival to promote various celebrity brands. This year’s main brand is Kendall Jenner’s tequila, and Kendall had DMed Lisa on Instagram to ask her to make an appearance. Jennie thought it sounded like a bore, but Lisa was intent on going, saying she “didn’t feel like being around so many people,” and “it would be rude to turn down a personal invite.”
So Jennie, Jisoo, and Chaeyoung take on the carnival alone, dancing and drinking and riding the rides until they are too exhausted to go on any longer. Their journey out of the party takes almost as long as their journey in considering everyone who wants to talk to them. Finally, they climb into their car, feet hurting but spirits no less dampened.
“Lisa is still at Revolve,” Chaeyoung says, looking at her phone. “I can see her location on Snapchat.”
“We should go,” Jennie says. “Just to see what it’s like.”
“Ugh, but I’m tired,” Chaeng whines. “And my feet hurt.”
“We’ll just stay for a few minutes,” Jennie promises.
“Can we get in, though?” Jisoo asks. “I mean, technically only Lisa was invited.”
“Of course we can, we’re Blackpink!” Jennie says, and the three of them burst into giggles as they direct their driver where to go.
It isn’t long before they find themselves at the large estate where the party is being held. Sure enough, the security at the door lets them in without even needing to ask their names. Jennie has to admit it feels good to be recognized so easily, especially compared to their last Coachella performance where they’d often found themselves explaining who they were to some of the more prominent performers.
The girls go straight to the bar and order yet another round of champagne to toast to their success while Chaeyoung texts Lisa to let her know they’re there. But after they don’t get a response, they decide to take a lap and see if they can find her. It’s slow going, as they bump into several more people who want to say hi, but eventually they find their elusive fourth member.
“Oh look it’s Lis…uh,” Chaeyoung trails off, and Jennie follows her gaze. Standing near the wall is the unmistakable shape of Lisa, but it’s impossible to see her face because it’s pressed up against another person’s.
A female person.
Jennie feels her mouth drop as she watches Lisa kiss the girl passionately, one hand in her hair and the other around her waist. Jennie doesn’t recognize the girl, though to be fair, there isn’t much of her visible at the moment.
“We should go,” Jisoo says, taking each of their hands and pulling them away. They say nothing as Jisoo leads them to the front door and out to the curb where their driver is still waiting. As soon as they start driving, Chaeng begins singing along to the radio and Jisoo joins in, clearly wanting to ease the tension of the moment. But Jennie’s mind is reeling. Lisa was kissing a girl. Lisa…likes girls. Or…Lisa kisses girls when she’s drunk? Or Lisa has a secret girlfriend and that’s why she wanted to go to the Revolve party while the rest of them went to Neon Carnival? Or…
Jennie’s racing thoughts follow her all the way home and into the large house they’re sharing with some of their staff. As the girls say their goodnights, Jisoo pulls Rose and Jennie aside.
“Let’s not mention anything to Lisa, okay?” Jisoo says quietly. “She’ll talk to us when she’s ready.”
()()()
So they don’t bring it up. But that doesn’t mean Jennie isn’t thinking about it. They go back to LA and start rehearsing for their Weekend 2 set, but every time the choreo calls for Lisa and Jennie to touch each other, every time she feels Lisa’s hand on her hip during Kill This Love, she can’t help but think, does Lisa like this? Is she attracted to me? She knows it’s unfair of her to think that way. She knows Lisa being gay, or whatever she is, doesn’t mean that she’s attracted to every girl she sees. But it doesn’t stop her from wondering and from almost dreading the moments where the two of them come into contact.
She notices that Lisa and Chaeng are just as cuddly as always; Chaeng doesn’t seem to be having an internal war every time Lisa touches her. Am I homophobic? Jennie wonders uncomfortably. She doesn’t think so. Korea isn’t the most welcoming country for LGBT people but many of the younger generation are more accepting. And Jennie, as someone who spends a significant amount of time in countries where being gay is much less taboo, is no different. She’s has plenty of gay friends and can’t remember ever being bothered by it before.
So why is this so different?
By Thursday night, Jennie knows she has to do something or risk throwing off the vibe between them completely. The Blinks are incredibly observant, and Jennie knows that if there is even a millimeter of distance between them compared to Weekend 1, there will be edits of the two of them set to Taylor Swift’s “The Great War” before dawn. So when Lisa says she wants to go out for tacos after rehearsal while Jisoo and Chaeng want to order takeout, Jennie sees her opportunity.
The two of them walk down the dark streets of downtown Los Angeles, their bodyguards following a short distance behind. Jennie shoves her hands into the pocket of her hoodie and plays anxiously with a piece of string she finds in there. “So,” she says, trying to sound as casual as possible. “How was the Revolve party? I never asked.”
“Oh.” Lisa shrugs. “It was fine. You know, these things always start to feel the same after a while.”
“We actually stopped by,” Jennie presses. “It looked like you were having a good time.”
“You did?” Lisa looks at Jennie, one eyebrow raised in surprise.
“Yeah, just for a few minutes,” Jennie says. “We were really tired.”
“So you saw me and you didn’t say hi?” Lisa sounds puzzled.
“You were busy,” Jennie says, studying Lisa’s face carefully. “We didn’t want to interrupt.”
Lisa quickly turns away from Jennie and looks straight ahead. Jennie can see a blush creeping up her cheeks. “Oh,” she says after a beat.
“Yeah,” Jennie replies.
“All three of you were there?” Jennie can tell Lisa is trying to sound casual, but she can hear a slight tremor in the younger girl’s voice.
“Yeah,” Jennie says again. She tries to think of something else to say. Lisa isn’t being very forthcoming, and Jennie knows this would be a good time for her to say something comforting, to let the other girl know that it’s okay to open up to her, but nothing is coming to mind. “Who is she?” she asks finally.
Lisa shrugs. “No one important.” Her face is bright red now and she’s refusing to catch Jennie’s eye.
“She’s not gonna tell anyone, is she?” Jennie asks without thinking.
Lisa stops walking and turns towards Jennie with narrowed eyes. “Everyone had to sign an NDA to get into the party,” she says, her voice suddenly cold. “So no one is going to the press. Since that’s obviously what you’re worried about.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Jennie notices their bodyguards have come to a halt a respectful distance away, clearly sensing the tension between the two girls. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Lisa sighs and keeps walking. They walk the rest of the way to the taco shop in silence, and Lisa starts up a friendly conversation with their bodyguards as soon as they arrive. Jennie tries her best to participate, but as the dinner comes to an end, she can’t help but think that her conversation has only made things between them worse.
()()()
The next day, they head back down to Indio for Weekend 2. Lisa isn’t exactly ignoring Jennie, but there is a coolness between them that is definitely worse than the one-sided awkwardness that had been there before. Jennie doesn’t even feel much like going out to see the performances again and she hangs back as Rose and Lisa set off towards the polo grounds. But after only a few minutes of blissful solitude, Jisoo knocks on her door.
“You wanna go out together?” Jisoo asks when Jennie let her in. Jennie groans.
“I’m not in the mood.”
“Well, you can’t just sit in here moping,” Jisoo says. She strides through the room and sits down on Jennie’s bed. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” Jennie says. “I’m just tired and…things are weird between me and Lisa.”
“Hmm,” Jisoo says thoughtfully. “Since…that thing we saw?”
Jennie nods. She would have been hesitant to admit that normally, but Jisoo has a way of making people feel like they can confide in her. “Did you know?” she asked. “About Lisa?”
“I suspected,” Jisoo says with a shrug. “It doesn’t change how I see her or anything.”
“I don’t understand why I can’t just be normal about it!” Jennie whines in frustration. “I tried to talk to her about it the other day and it was like I couldn’t even think of anything to say and she got all mad.”
“Oh Jennie,” Jisoo says, laughing slightly and shaking her head. “Don’t you ever listen to anything I say? I told you to wait until she was ready to tell you about it.”
“I…” Jennie shrugs helplessly. “I thought it would be better to bring it up. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Well, I guess this is kind of my fault,” Jisoo says.
“Your fault?” Jennie asks in surprise. “How?”
“I had a feeling you were going to feel weird about it,” Jisoo says. “I should have talked to you earlier.”
Jennie feels half relief and half trepidation that Jisoo has read her so easily. “And how did you know I was going to be weird about it?”
“Because of like…you and Lisa’s thing,” Jisoo says.
“Our thing?” Jennie feels utterly confused, and yet for some reason her heart rate is increasing.
“Okay, how can I explain this…” Jisoo sighs. “You and Lisa have always had this sort of teasing, flirty thing going on, you know?”
“You mean like in the choreo?” Jennie prompts, though she knows in the back of her mind that that isn’t what Jisoo is referring to.
“Not just the choreo,” Jisoo confirms. “I mean, they choreograph that stuff for you two for a reason. The fans love it too. Because you two have a thing.”
“If you’re implying that I–that we–” Jennie feels her face growing hot. “We’ve never–”
“I know that,” Jisoo says quickly. “I know it’s always just for fun, or for fanservice, or whatever, but now that you know Lisa likes girls, you realize it would be all too easy to cross that line if you wanted to.”
“But I don’t want to,” Jennie protests. “I just want to keep things professional–”
“Has Lisa ever been unprofessional towards you?”
“Well, no…” Jennie admits.
“Do you want her to be?”
Jennie is so taken aback by Jisoo’s question that all she can do is gape at the older girl until there is a small knock on the door. Jennie’s manager pokes her head in. “I’m ready now,” she says, “if you want to head over.”
“Yeah, let’s go,” Jisoo says, patting Jennie’s thigh as she stands up from the bed. “Let’s go have some fun and forget about all of this. But,” she adds in a lower voice once Jennie’s manager leaves, “you should figure out what you want soon. Because if things are weird between you and Lisa during our show tomorrow, the Blinks are gonna start up with those Great War videos again.”
()()()
As Jisoo drags Jennie around the festival to see different acts, Jennie remains lost in her own world. Luckily, Jisoo seems to understand that Jennie is in the middle of a potentially life changing personal dilemma and seems content to enjoy her silent company. It isn’t until they are heading out to meet their driver at the end of the night that Jennie speaks.
“It would change everything between us,” she says to Jisoo quietly.
“Ah,” Jisoo says with a knowing smile. “So you’ve decided.”
“I haven’t decided anything!” Jennie protests. “I’m telling you that I have no idea what to do.”
“The fact that you’re thinking about what to do,” Jisoo says, “means you’ve figured out how you feel.” She looks at Jennie smugly. “You want her.”
Jennie says nothing, and the smug look doesn’t leave Jisoo’s face the entire way home.
()()()
“I’m gonna talk to her,” Jennie says to Jisoo the next morning. The two of them are drinking coffee together while their maknaes sleep in, as usual. “I’m gonna tell her I’m sorry for how I reacted and maybe I’ll tell her that I’m like…feeling something. Maybe.”
“Just be nice to her,” Jisoo warns.
“What do you mean?” Jennie asks, feeling slightly offended. “Why would I be mean?”
“I don’t think you’ll try to be mean,” Jisoo replies. “It’s just that…well, Lisa has a tendency to be kind of harsh when she’s feeling defensive. Just don’t stoop to her level.”
Jennie shakes her head lightly at Jisoo. “You know, you spend way too much time psychoanalyzing us, unnie.”
“I know,” Jisoo replies. “I need a new hobby.”
()()()
They decide to spend the day chilling at the house, conserving energy for the performance ahead. Lisa still seems to want to avoid Jennie, and it takes a few hours before Lisa finally leaves Chaeyoung’s side and Jennie is able to ask her for a moment alone. They end up out on the balcony, under an umbrella that shields them from the desert sun.
“I owe you an apology,” Jennie says. “I should have reacted better to…you know.”
“My homosexuality?” Lisa supplies.
Jennie rolls her eyes. “Yes. That.”
“Are you, like, afraid to say it or something?” Lisa challenges.
Jennie takes a breath and remembers what Jisoo said. Lisa is putting on a brave face, but Jennie can see the vulnerability underneath, the desire for acceptance.
“No,” Jennie says firmly, and she’s surprised to find that she really, really means it. “It doesn’t bother me at all, Lisa. If you’re gay, if you’re bi, if you’re just experimenting, it doesn’t bother me at all. I love you no matter what.”
Lisa blinks rapidly, a telltale sign that she’s about to cry, and Jennie looks away quickly knowing that otherwise she’ll start crying too. After a moment, Lisa seems to collect herself. “Thank you,” she says. “It means a lot.”
“Of course,” Jennie replies.
“If you want to know,” Lisa continues, “I am gay. I realized it a few years ago. But no one knows except my manager and a few girls that I…well, you know.” Lisa looks down at the floor, blushing again. “It’s kind of a relief that all of you know now.”
“Have you talked to the others about it?” Jennie asks.
“I talked to Chaeng about it yesterday,” Lisa says. “She was all hugging me and crying and saying she loved me, of course.” Lisa rolls her eyes but she’s smiling and Jennie can tell she’s absolutely thrilled that her best friend is being so supportive of her. “And I wanna talk to Jisoonie but…I’m a little nervous. I feel like she’ll be mad at me for doing that in public where anyone could see.”
“No,” Jennie shakes her head quickly. “I talked to her about it already. She really supports you, Lili. And…I think she already had a suspicion anyway.”
“Oh.” Lisa breathes out a sigh of relief. “That’s good.” She looks at Jennie. “So I guess the only one I had to be afraid of was you, huh?” She’s grinning and Jennie knows she’s just messing with her but it hurts her heart all the same.
Jennie forces a smile. “Yep,” she says. “I was the only asshole. I’m sorry it took me so long to come to my senses.”
Lisa stands up and ruffles Jennie’s hair. “Hey, better late than never,” she says. “I’m gonna go talk to Jisoo now, ‘kay?” She walks away with a skip in her step, and the second half of what Jennie had wanted to talk about dies on her lips.
()()()
“So remember,” their lead choreographer tells them as they sit in their trailer, getting the finishing touches done on their makeup, “the most important thing is just to be yourselves and give stage presence. Last week was the sexiest performance Blackpink has ever done. This week I want it to be even sexier. Jennie and Lisa, you’re off the leash,” she says, looking at each of them in turn. “Just, go nuts with each other, okay? Rose, I want to see you running your hands through your hair like your life depends on it. And Jisoo, I want to see eyebrow action like never before. Understand?”
The girls all make sounds of agreement. “Good,” she continues. “Let’s go break the internet.”
When they leave the makeup trailer, Jisoo holds Jennie back. “Hey,” she says. “I’m guessing you didn’t mention anything to Lisa about your…feelings?”
Jennie shakes her head. “I didn’t have time. Why?”
“Well because she looked absolutely mortified when Teacher said that thing about being off the leash with you,” Jisoo says sternly. “How is Lisa supposed to let loose when she still thinks you might be weirded out by her?”
“Well what do you want me to do?” Jennie says.
“I don’t know, tell her she’s allowed to do stuff to you,” Jisoo says. She pauses thoughtfully. “Maybe grab her boob.”
Jennie gasps. “Unnie! What has gotten into you?”
“I don’t know!” Jisoo replies. “I just want this performance to be really good, okay? I CAME HERE TO SLAY!”
“WOO!” Chaeyoung yells from somewhere up ahead, having heard Jisoo’s last exclamation.
“Okay, I’m going to have a word with the trailer staff,” Jennie says firmly. “It can’t be good for you two to drink this much Red Bull.”
()()()
They are literally seconds away from getting in formation to go onstage when Jennie suddenly has an idea. She pushes her way over to Lisa and grabs her by the arm. “I have to tell you something,” she whispers in Lisa’s ear.
“Now?” Lisa asks, turning to face Jennie. Her big brown eyes are full of concern.
“I just…I need to tell you why I reacted so weirdly to seeing you kissing that girl.”
“Jennie, not here,” Lisa whispers nervously. “We’re about to go onstage. Our mics could be–”
“It’s because I’m attracted to you,” Jennie says.
“And places!” the stage tech calls out suddenly. “Ten seconds to showtime! Nine…eight…seven…”
Jennie scrambles to her position, certain her heart isn’t the only one that’s racing.
()()()
Everyone agrees: it’s the best show they’ve ever done. Blinks and locals alike are blown away by how good they are, and are especially taken with Jennie and Lisa–”their chemistry electrifies the stage,” according to Rolling Stone, “the best Coachella headliners since Beyonce,” remarks the L.A. Times. Of course, when the girls leave the stage at the end of their show, they have no idea what’s going to be written about them in the coming days but they can tell they killed it. Sometimes you can just tell.
There are various VIPs waiting backstage to congratulate them but Jennie brushes past them as quickly as possible. She just wants to get out of here and maybe finally have a moment alone with Lisa.
She goes into their trailer and starts taking off her makeup, and it isn’t long before the girl she’s been thinking about all night walks in. “There you are!” Lisa exclaims, closing the door.
“Hey,” Jennie says, feeling suddenly shy. Lisa comes and sits down on the stool next to her.
“You know, I was wondering if you meant what you said before we went on stage,” Lisa says smiling. “But after that performance, I think I know the answer.”
Jennie has wiped off enough makeup at that point that she’s sure Lisa can see the blush on her cheeks. “I mean, I wouldn’t lie about that,” she says.
“Well, I’m glad,” Lisa says. “Because I wanted to see if you wanted to come with me to an afterparty tonight.”
“Oh?” Jennie feels her heart sink. She had been hoping to be alone with Lisa, but she supposes going to an afterparty together isn’t too bad. “Well as long as you’re not planning to kiss another girl there, I guess.”
“Oh, I am planning on it,” Lisa says with a smirk. She gets up from her stool and straddles Jennie’s lap. Jennie gasps, whipping her head around to make sure the door behind them is still closed. “Don’t worry,” Lisa says. “I’ll get off if someone comes in.” She leans down towards Jennie’s ear. “Or maybe I won’t.”
Jennie lets out a shaky breath as she feels her skin erupt in goosebumps. The way her body responds to Lisa’s touch, it seems impossible that there was a time only a day ago where she didn’t know she was attracted to Lisa.
“Let me tell you about this afterparty,” Lisa continues in a sultry voice. “It’s called Romance. It takes place in a hot new spot in town called my bedroom. And you are the girl I’m hoping to kiss while I’m there,” Lisa says. “If you’ll let me, of course.”
“Hmm,” Jennie pretends to think about it. Then she tilts her head back and brushes her lips ever so lightly against Lisa’s. She can feel Lisa trembling with the effort of holding back from deepening the kiss after over an hour of foreplay on the stage. This will be fun, she thinks to herself.
“Okay,” Jennie says. “I’ll be there.”